Finding my Black Canary

Finding my Black Canary

Do many of you often wonder where you other half is? As I have often wondered what the next step in my life may be, I question the range of relationships. While I’ve wondered why the women I have loved have decided to move on with their lives and leave the life built behind them, I consistently struggle with the reason for this particular path. While the why isn’t the focus here the focus is how do we move forward? Sometimes we love and loose, how do we begin to fix our broken hearts?

Psalm 34:18 “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”

Psalm 147: 3 “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

Romans 8:39 “nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

1 John 4:10 “In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.”

Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

 When we are down and broken we know that the Lord is with us and our crushed spirits. We can only rely on the spirit to pick us back up. The Lord starts to heal us the instant the stab to our heart happens. Just because wrongs are done, and they may be done by us, or to us, neither wrong can separate us from the Lord. Jesus is hand in hand with us no matter what. The God above, the creator of heaven and earth, forgives our sins and it is the love of God that give us strength. We are nothing without God, and without God’s grace. Everything we have is a gift. Either God gives us our gifts, or sends us along our path. Either God sends us our pain, or allows our pain to happen. No matter what the case may be, all things happen with the blessing of God. God only allows us to travel a path as long as He deems fit. Sin will only be tolerated in our lives for so long before we will be punished by our Father. How long will we blatantly Sin in our lives before we realize we are wrong and fix it?

Psalm 71:20 “You who have made me see many troubles and calamities will revive me again; from the depths of the earth you will bring me up again.” No matter how far we fall, no matter how deeply we hurt, God will lift us up again and help us heal. We aren’t meant to be alone. Isaiah 43:2 “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.” No matter our situation we shouldn’t allow ourselves to become overwhelmed. We need to learn to let go of our sorrows and allow the Lord to take care of them. We must endure our crucibles to survive them. We must learn that our gifts will far outweigh our pain and suffering.

For me I believed I had found my Black Canary to my Green Arrow. I believed I had found the woman who completed me. I never wanted anyone else. I felt in my days like I was missing something, like I needed friends to complete what I perceived as missing. The fact was I wasn’t truly looking for friends the truth was I was still dealing with the ramifications of multiple posttraumatic events in my life. Loosing the woman I loved, the woman I would have done anything for and fought to give anything I could. There were many reasons she left, most of which I don’t know, and even to this day don’t understand. However, as broken as I am, I feel badly for her. As I pray one day she may remember the spark that led us together to start with, allow us to rekindle what was damaged. Anything is possible if you believe in Christ. While I have struggled with my ability to move on I have to have faith in the unknown. I believe that no matter the time that goes by if two people are meant to be together life will somehow draw them back together. Love is undying, love is forever, but everything is in God’s time. Some day I will find my woman in a mask to match my own. One day I will find a woman who will don the mask and put on the jacket. I will keep the faith as all of you out there have lived through loss and divorce. Divorce doesn’t have to be the end. Trust in the Lord and in Him your future will be, as the sun shall rise. We must learn patience and in that patience trust that in God’s time someone will come into your life. Remember to put God first, and always. Believe in the Lord and don’t forget to pray. I myself struggle with the patience of such things. Even with that struggle I pray and know that prayer is important in our daily relationship with the Lord our Father. 1 John 5:14-15 “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.” Have trust in our prayers being heard for Abba is with us always.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Promise

The Promise

 You know what really bakes my noodle? It bothers me when people make promises and break them. As a young child people often made promises to me only to break them over and over again. As I got older it became very important to me to keep my promises. I’m not one to make a promise and not fulfill it or come through. However, it seems that’s not a very common trait for most. The Bible has scripture about keeping your word or promises. 1 John 2:5 “But whoso keepeth his word, in him verily is the love of God perfected: hereby know we that we are in him.” The Lord does not take promises and oaths lightly. Matthew 5:33-37 “Again you have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not swear falsely, but shall perform to the Lord what you have sworn.’ But I say to you, Do not take an oath at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, or by the earth, for it is his footstool, or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. And do not take an oath by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil.” To break your word is a Sin. A promise and oath are forever. Your word is your bond. Your word and if you are a trustworthy person are important to image.

Psalm 89:34 “I will not violate my covenant or alter the word that went forth from my lips.” When we make a promise to someone it’s not to violate our word. Matthew 5:33 “Again you have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not swear falsely, but shall perform to the Lord what you have sworn.” When you make a promise to someone God looks on that promise like you’re making a promise to Him. James 5:12 “But above all, my brothers, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or by any other oath, but let your “yes” be yes and your “no” be no, so that you may not fall under condemnation.” Do not condemn yourself into wickedness by allowing yourself to speak untruths. People who listen to you, do you want them to look at you with untrusting eyes? Do you want to be the type of person that no one believes a word you utter? Don’t hide behind excuses or lies, as sure as the seasons will pass and the snows will melt, the truth will always have it’s day.

It’s important to only make a promise if you are going to keep it. You must remember what you promise to do all you can to keep it. When you vow to do something you should do everything in your power to do it. When you make a vow you must remember that a vow in a bond, more then simple promise. An oath is a covenant unbreakable. Marriage for instance, how simple it’s become to marry, swear a vow to one another, create the covenant before God and yet not only do you break that before your spouse, but you break it before God as well. Do not allow yourself to be ruled by the wicked of the world. There is nothing OKAY with divorce. There’s nothing okay with breaking your promise to anyone. There’s nothing okay with breaking someone’s heart or turning yourself into a liar. What’s worse is when you become a habitual liar. To sin is bad, to sin habitually is worse. Do not allow the world to dictate what you do and the things you lie. Let your yay be yay, and your nay be nay. Speak from the heart and with truth. Don’t hide yourself behind lies. The truth will always set you free.

 

Why do I feel the way I do?

Why do I feel the way I do?

I’ve been considering an awful lot about my future these last few weeks I’ve been in recovery. I’ve been wondering why it’s been so hard to meet new people. I’ve been wondering why every plan I’ve had since my separation started has blown up in my face. I’ve been wondering why every new potential lady I’ve met has ghosted me. What does that say about me? Am I being prepared for something more in the future, or something I’m supposed to learn right here and now? While of course I won’t ever have an answer the questions come regardless.

A verse that popped out at me today Hebrews 4:12 “For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.” While I have begged for a change of heart, a change in the way I feel in certain circumstances, I have yet to overcome a particular character flaw, or at least what I perceive as a flaw. God can see what is in our heart of hearts. He sees beyond the mask we wear and show those around us. God sees everything and knows our deepest thoughts, even the ones we may bury so deep we ourselves don’t see them. The truth in the word can often cut us deep to the bone. My personal experience has led me to feel the conviction on more then one occasion. There was a major event last year that touched me. There was a sermon on forgiveness that I needed to hear just one day after I found out about a serious wrong against me by someone I cared for.

Hebrews 4:13 “Neither is there any creature that is not manifest in his sight: but all things are naked and opened unto the eyes of him with whom we have to do.” God knows what we need and when we need it. The right message at the perfect time and when we don’t listen to the word the message is sent to us one way or another, and perhaps by force. The Father wants what’s best for us, and sometimes when the father wants to teach children a particular lesson you have to have a more stern teaching method. Though I’m not a father, and I never had a father, I pay attention to the fathers of my close friends. As I have often felt bitter about the way my life has gone, the hardships I’ve faced and I am forced to remind myself that scripture is full of those who went through so much pain prior to death. Moses, Joseph, Stephen, Paul, David (Prior to becoming King), and of course the suffering and crucifixion of Jesus Christ. If my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ could go through torture, relinquishing any pride, and knowing what was at stake, our immortal souls free from eternal damnation.

Knowing all of this, why do I still feel like I’m not good enough? Romans 7:14-20 “For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am of the flesh, sold under sin. 15 For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. 16 Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good.17 So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. 18 For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.” Knowing I am special and unique because I am of God’s creation does not stop my own self worth being in question. Perhaps the biggest issue is the built in flaw that we see as a flaw, but what if that flaw isn’t a flaw at all. 2 Corinthians 12:7 “So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited.” While I am always willing to admit I’m wrong, and I may be on the built in flaw aspect, it would make sense to ensure we aren’t conceited. For me my biggest failing is my self worth, and the need for social interaction. I guess one of the biggest things to face is the problem, and admitting there is one, or at least something to work on. While it’s very possible that these flaws are there to give us something to always work on. None of us are perfect because we can’t be. Sin prevents perfection and the sooner we realize what our flaws are, accept them, and focus on fixing them to the best of our ability we can realize we are exactly as God created us.

Every waking day we fight because the battle doesn’t stop just because we don’t want to fight anymore. While I would love nothing more to drop off the grid, if I could manage the solitude I have often questioned if anyone would miss me. I have often questioned if I could get over my social requirements if I could actually survive out on my own. I have questioned if I could manage to live on a boat by myself on the sea, in a cabin in the woods, and just survive without the influence of the world. The world beats us down and some people have more struggles then others. The path and struggle although painful and full of sacrifice, the end result is something more. We can either embrace the fire or run from it. I feel the way I do because the world has been a cruel and unforgiving place full of pits and spikes, and flaming arrows that have burned down my life more then once. The house can always be rebuilt if the foundation is strong. A tree can be cut back and cut back, but with strong roots it can grow again. When the world burns down the house to the foundation rebuilding takes time. So long as we realize rebuilding can’t and won’t happen over night, we can be in the right mindset that rebuilding is a chance to change, a chance to fix mistakes, make things bigger and stronger then they were before. To purge the old and make way for the new, but there will be hardships along the way, there will be tests, but know that God never allows you to go through the tests until you’re ready to overcome them. Be brave and keep calm, buckle your armor and prepare for the next step, the next chapter and face the enemy head on.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Cage

The Cage

You lied to me and then you left. My heart was cracked and broken, and all this time it feels like it’s still held captive behind a cage. Unable to be free, unable to heal, the barbed wire tears it apart with each attempt to escape the torture. For how long will you have the power over my heart? For how long will you break my heart again and again?

The day has to come when the power breaks. Nothing can last forever. Once upon a time I thought you were my angel sent to me by God, the reward for a life of hardship. Once upon a time I thought you were my sign that life would forever be a blessing and I foolishly believed that love, the love we had would be the forever kind. I believed with all my heart that no matter what came our way I wouldn’t have to worry. But I underestimated the devils cry. I didn’t see the attack before it was too late, and then, you were gone.

I didn’t fight in time. The Trojan horse got in, and I watched it come. I took the horse for a horse not a trap. I rose no defense, I sounded no alarm, and when the night came the true nature of the horse was revealed and by then the fight was over.

My love was all I had to give. I gave the world I could, but that love wasn’t strong enough. Without that love I questioned everything in my life. I fell into a caged despair. I gave my everything, but like some soldier going toe to toe with Hercules I was swatted away like a fly, not chance at all. I stood no chance against the giant and I fell easily.

There’s nowhere to run, there’s no place to go, I can only surrender what’s left within me to the alter of the one above. I beg and plead to put the pieces back together. I beg and plead to make me whole. The one above is powerful and through the grace of His love and peace, the pieces can be made whole again. God above will mend the heart, but the scars will remain. As Christ rose from the dead for the defeat of eternal death, the scars remained, proof of the past, so thus we must keep our scars.

I question my past and my present yet no answers come. I never thought the day would come when the world would crack in two, but on the day it did I cried to the heavens I was sorry for any mistakes I made, I was sorry for my part in the tragedy. The Lord above forgives the repenting heart. The Lord above feels what we feel, sees what we see, and when we break He breaks.

With my still broken heart, the good Lord heals, but the mending of a broken heart takes time. We feel so deeply sometimes and it takes time to mend, to fix the broken code in the programming. When you feel like you’re crashing make sure you reach towards the Lord. When my day came, when I crashed, I hit Cnt-Alt-Del, and watched as the lights went out.

“At first I was afraid, I was petrified, kept thinkin’ I could never live without you by my side, but then I spent so many nights how you did me wrong, I grew strong, and I learned how to get along.” (I Will Survive)

I will survive. One day my prison will crumble and I will yet again have freedom. When that day comes it will be a sigh of relief. Remember that the true freedom is the freedom over sin, the blood that was paid for, for our sin by our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. While we are told we will face our own trials, we will have to take up our own cross, we too our promised our battled and our own scars. The scars will always be there as a reminder of where we came, and what we’ve survived. Embrace the scars because no matter how bad it was, you survived and now have a story to tell.

One day I will tell my story, and while it will have its ups, it’ll have its downs, it’ll have it’s laughs, and it’ll have it’s tears, but it will always have God at the center. The day will come when the morning comes and the chains will burn away and the pain won’t be able to keep you bound anymore. “All I know is I’m not home yet, this is not where I belong. Take this world and give me Jesus, this is not where I belong.” (Building 429)

My heart shattered that day, the world shook and went dark, the blood was spilt, the tears flooded the ground, but the hand of Jesus was there reaching down towards me and lifted me up. Never stop fighting the fight, never stop healing, and never stop moving forward. The power of the Lord can heal any wound and we need that healing touch.

Lord you made me feel so shiny and new, you picked me up, dusted me off and stood me up. While I may be within my own cage, while I am still watching from behind these chains, I know that one day they will fall away. Faith, it’s what we have, it’s what I have. One day the Son will return and when the day comes, I will be ready to return home.

 

 

The Serenity Prayer

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
As it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
If I surrender to His Will;
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life
And supremely happy with Him
Forever and ever in the next.

Amen.

We in our life often have a hard time with many of our daily trials. I have often found comfort in the Serenity Prayer. First, what does serenity mean? The online definition is “he state of being calm, peaceful, and untroubled.” Even those who are devout Christians can have a hard time letting go of the stress and worry that come with tough situations. While we all have our day to day struggles, some people deal with ‘stress’ better then others. I’ve had my share of exemplary displays of problem solving, and I’ve had some very atrocious displays. We know that we will face trials, those trials will place us on a path to either teach us something, prepare us for something later on down the line, or alter our path. In some scientific circles there’s a theory that for every possible outcome that could happen, actually does happen. While this may or may not be true, if you are God, and you allow mankind to have free will, then there has to be some aspect of that, that might be true, even if God is the only one that can see every possible outcome. We have the opportunity every instance to make Godly decisions. No matter how far down a path, you can choose a different path. There are always options even if we don’t see all of them. Think about what God sees. He wants us to give us every opportunity to follow Him. He wants us to have a relationship with Him so envision every possibly action you may make, and consider the eyes of God seeing every path all at once. How big God is compared to us. I’ve often thought that God will always attempt to get you back on track by giving you chance after chance to get back on track, but with freedom of choice, multiple outcomes must be available, which means God can see every possible outcome, which means, every possible outcome must exist.

Now that I’ve gotten off on a major tangent, I’ll get back to my original point. I often hear people say I don’t have a choice, or I didn’t have a choice, and me myself have said and gone done that road more often then I would care to admit. One thing I’ve learned, even if I don’t always put it into practice is, just because we can’t see an outcome, or see the many paths in front of us, doesn’t mean they aren’t there. We can never know how every situation will end, and we never know truly what tomorrow will bring. We must learn to live our lives one day, one moment at a time. Be proactive sure, but always try to make your choices based on a Godly path. Surrender your worries, your doubts, and your troubles to the Lord. Ask constantly for guidance and believe that the path will illuminate before you when you are truly seeking a righteous path. The right path won’t always be the path of least resistance, but when we follow the Lord we will be given the compass to follow.

Getting rid of worries, and doubt, stress, and frustrations, isn’t easy. It helps to remind yourself daily of the serenity prayer like using the same muscle over and over again, you will eventually build muscle memory and it will become easier. Don’t live your life under a permanent cloud of misery. Allow yourself to be free from that and find the joy in life no matter what situation you find yourself in. Philippians 4:11 “Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.”

 

 

 

 

Trust But Verify

Trust But Verify

In the last year in my life I have been seeking some sign, any sign to show me I’m not what I thought about myself after my separation. Often times when you are the victim of an affair you question your self worth. You question if anyone would ever love you. You question what was wrong with you, what you could have done that was so bad to push the one who loved you away.

In the time I’ve been alone I have met a few people on social media, a variety of social dating sites. A couple years ago I made the mistake of trusting someone I met online. I considered myself a smart person. I was asked for help and I said I wouldn’t do anything to put my family or me at risk. I was told the money would be transferred into my account, and I’d just have to send the cash western union. When the cash arrived in the account I waited 2 weeks the first time before I touched it. The way the scam works is send some ligit money to gain trust. The next deposits wouldn’t be watched so closely, and the withdrawal would happen sooner. The banks would catch the fake funds and the bank would blame the account that was overdrawn, not the depositing source. Ever since then I have believed heavily in the phrase “Trust But Verify”. Coincidently that phrase is also routed in scripture. 1 John 4:1 “Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world.”

The wolf looking for pray will often look and sound like a sweet innocent sheep. What looks like a gift from God may not be a gift at all, but a message from Satan. Even when the most sincere looking person comes into your life and it feels like the greatest gift in the world, I would say the same, trust but verify. If life has taught me anything when you’re a soldier for Christ you never know how long the Devil will try to infiltrate into your life. Even if you are able to verify someone’s motives, the Devil’s motives will always remain. He tries to defile the righteous and sometimes he is able to sway the hearts and minds of those we care about. While I firmly believe in everyone’s ability to change and seek redemption that isn’t always the case. The truth is war changes a person. Sometimes in war there are casualties, but in this war there are no innocent lives. This war for the very souls of mankind the Devil takes no prisoners and no one is safe. Once the Devil finds a loose thread he pulls until an entire life is unraveled. He thrives in the chaos and the rubble that’s left behind after his well-placed sabotages are implemented.

When we are given a gift from God we must cherish it, nurture it, guard it, protect it every day to try our best from allowing the thing that we love the most in this world from being used against us. This is a hard lesson I’ve had to learn. Just because something is a gift doesn’t mean one mans gift isn’t another’s weapon. One man turned my ex wife, but the strings being pulled were the Devils. Sure there’s always free will, but the Devil knows our hearts and He knows just how to get to each of us. The Devil fights to pull us away by using our weaknesses against us. For me that was the need to be accepted, and the need to be loved by family and friends. Take that away from me, and you find me where I was in September of last year. Lost, broken, and alone. The deceiver knew just how to hurt me the most, and hurt me He did. For that instant I fell to my knees and looked at my life without hope. The pain caused was more then I felt I could bare and we can’t survive long without hope.

Look toward heaven and thank God for the blessings in your life. When a gift shows up in your life, do your due diligence to verify it’s origin. Not all may be as it appears. We are taught to have faith in the things that we cannot see, but no where does it ever say to have blind faith.

 

 

 

Admitting Failures

Admitting Failures

One year ago I faced a near death experience. After I survived and found myself reeling in the aftermath I was calm for months. No matter what came up or what challenges I faced I was composed and without concern or worry. Now as time has gone on and life has continued that calm, cool and collected nature has drifted into memory. It’s not uncommon for a believer or non-believer to come to Jesus after a traumatic incident. They may stay church bound for 6 months to a year, but as life returns to normal the feeling of grace can subside.

1 Corinthians 13:4 Love is patient and kind;” I heard a sermon recently on Love. Love is being patient and not just patience with others, with our neighbors, with our spouses, but with God. We always want things our way and right now. Let me tell you in the last year I’ve lost my wife, my house, my job, my closest friends, not because of anything I’ve done per say, but just a purging fire within my life. Life doesn’t always go the way we think it should or the way we envision it, but the truth is, we are just the train, we go the direction the tracks go, and God lays our tracks in front of us, we go where God wants us, He’s the conductor.

Psalm 40:1-4 “I waited patiently for the Lord; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry.He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings. And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the Lord. Blessed is that man that maketh the Lord his trust, and respecteth not the proud, nor such as turn aside to lies.” David awaited the Lord for the better first half of his life. He ran from assassins, he survived war, and yet he knew his destiny was to become King, he just didn’t know when. When we are at our lowest do we curse God or do we raise Him up, praising him for his plans for us, knowing that one-day we too will be lifted out of the miry clay, and our feet will be placed on solid rock. Do we truly understand the nature of the divine and the planning, and patience it takes to create a masterpiece? Our lives are molded and scripted since before birth. We are given chance after chance within free will to follow, or rebuke the Lord. Every waking moment we are given chances and as God has seen every possible outcome and plans for every single one, we must have faith and trust in the Lord. As I heard recently “You don’t give the keys to the car to your six year old.” (Dr. M. David Chambers, D.Min) You don’t give your kids the keys, because obviously they just aren’t ready. I’ve touched base on a similar outlook. We cannot be given the test before we are ready for it.

Proverbs 3:5 “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.” Getting on the train tracks as the train and not knowing the destination or how we’re going to get there is having faith. When we get on a plan we have faith that the pilot knows how to fly it, and we will get to our destination safely. Why don’t we put the same faith in God? Every air traveler put his or her faith in the pilot no matter where we go. We put our faith so blindly in a human being, but can’t or wont put our faith in God, so beyond our miniscule understanding of the big picture our faith should always unequivocally go to God first, and last.

Proverbs 3:24-26 “When thou liest down, thou shalt not be afraid: yea, thou shalt lie down, and thy sleep shall be sweet. 25 Be not afraid of sudden fear, neither of the desolation of the wicked, when it cometh. 26 For the Lord shall be thy confidence, and shall keep thy foot from being taken.” We often make decisions and sometimes we make decisions based on fear. Life can often cause us to be afraid of a great and vast many things. That fear can be loosing a job, our loved one, loosing our status, or friends, a vast plethora of things that fear can force us to act on. In the essence of fear I have made choices some good and some bad. That fear can lead us to say things to people that are mean and hurtful. Like a cornered animal we frequently lash out towards others. We loose focus on the big picture and we allow that fear to take over in the drivers seat.

 Isaiah 7:4 “And say unto him, Take heed, and be quiet; fear not, neither be fainthearted for the two tails of these smoking firebrands, for the fierce anger of Rezin with Syria, and of the son of Remaliah.” No matter what situation you find yourself in, no matter how deep the muck, the dangerous or twisted, we must keep the faith, keep calm, quiet our minds to the world, and allow the Holy Spirit to fill us and give us the direction we must go. We spend to much time fighting against the direction the Lord has us on, it’s like trying to jump a train off the tracks and land on the tracks of our own choosing. Obviously it doesn’t work that way. We can’t simply take the plane off auto pilot and fly ourselves when we are not pilots. Sure we can play flight simulators all day long, but that doesn’t make us qualified to fly or land a plane. Why do we think we are so capable of doing things better in our own way? It’s a lack of faith, a lack of trust, because to us, the problem we face is just to big for God to handle. As we say that after we beat the odds of millions of possible outcomes in our very own conception. We stand upon the Earth within the universe the perfect distance from the son, with the perfect access to support human life. We say this that we are the only ones who can handle our specific problem when we know what the God above is capable of. We loose sight, we loose faith, and we listen to the world and the society in which we live. God in societies eyes is small, outdated for a time of such revered science and human accomplishment and understanding of the world and the universe in which we live. Our faith in God supersedes that notion and if we are to call ourselves true Christians, we must act like it.

I have made plenty of mistakes in my day. Mistakes, sadly I must own up to, and confess to my brothers and sisters. The lessons I teach in today’s blog post are lessons I must teach myself. If I am to make good on what I teach, then I too must practice what I teach. We must all learn to let go of our fears, learn to take that leap, and let God be the conductor for this train. Faith is something you must work on all the time. It’s also something the Devil will target you for. The deceiver, the king of Hell walls you to fail. He wants to rip you away from the graces of God and although his method’s haven’t changed much in the last few thousands years, because he doesn’t have to change them, they work. You must remain vigilant, you must maintain your time with the Scripture, and you must continue to work on your life with God. Pray often, love all, forgive easily, and be firm when the Devil prowls around. Give yourself and your problems to the Lord. Don’t forget the ways of scripture and even as difficult as it is some days, we must work towards that goal each and every day of our lives.

A song that I am reminded of is:

Help Me Find It by Sidewalk Prophets.

I don’t know where to go from here
It all used to seem so clear
I’m finding I can’t do this on my own

 I don’t know where to go from here
As long as I know that You are near
I’m done fighting
I’m finally letting go

 I will trust in You
You’ve never failed before
I will trust in You

 If there’s a road I should walk
Help me find it
If I need to be still
Give me peace for the moment
Whatever Your will
Whatever Your will
Can you help me find it
Can you help me find it

 I’m giving You fear and You give faith
I giving you doubt
You give me grace
For every step I’ve never been alone

 Even when it hurts, You’ll have Your way
Even in the valley I will say
With every breath
You’ve never let me go

 I will wait for You
You’ve never failed before
I will wait for You

 If there’s a road I should walk
Help me find it
If I need to be still
Give me peace for the moment
Whatever Your will
Whatever Your will
Can you help me find it
Can you help me find it

 I lift my empty hands (come fill me up again)
Have Your way my King (I give my all to You)
I lift my eyes again (Was blind but now I see)
‘Cause You are all I need

 If there’s a road I should walk
Help me find it
If I need to be still
Give me peace for the moment
Whatever Your will
Whatever Your will
Can you help me find it
Can you help me find it

 No matter the road we walk ask God to help you find your path. If you need to be still ask God for the peace for that moment. God can and will give you what you need to fight the fight as long as you pray and ask for it. God will always give you the peace and shelter you seek when you need it. Have faith and see your blessing all around you. Just because you can’t see the Angels from heaven doesn’t mean they aren’t there. I’ve personally felt their presence and I know they exist. We sometimes loose our way, and as for me, I have the two best pastors anyone in the world could ever help for that help me back when I start to stray. I couldn’t and wouldn’t ever ask for anyone better, I’d never find it. Love you guys. Speedy, you’re my Brother and the best partner in ‘crime fighting’ anyone could ever ask for. Doc D. C, you have a way with words my brother. You’re a blessing to the church and I always appreciate you. Love ya’ll.

 

Giving your all

Giving your all

Have you ever loved so deeply, cared for someone so much you felt like you gave your whole life to them? Have you ever cared for someone so much when they were gone you felt as if half of you were ripped away? What about when you meet someone new and you feel strongly about them, not love, but a strong desire to know them, to be there for them, what happens when that isn’t reciprocated? I believe we’ve all gone through this at some point in our lives. There’s a strong reaction to rejection and that reaction’s what we’re going to discuss today. This is an uncomfortable subject so stick with me.

Recently I met someone and the more we talked the more I felt a potential relationship might have been possible. I received a lot of positive feedback early on in our communications and it led me to believe something more in time was more then a likely possibility. When the conversation continued I was shocked when all of a sudden it stopped. The conversation seemed rather benign and since it was just about liking particular movies, I saw no reason the outcome ended the way it did. All communication halted abruptly and the feeling sunk deep in my stomach and my head felt like a kick to the face.

Disappointment is a tough pill to swallow. What does the bible say about disappointment? Romans 8:28 “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” No matter what we face, or the troubles we find ourselves in God will use them for the purpose of good things. We may not be able to see the good in our pain, or the purpose in our suffering, but through all things the Lord is with us. Psalm 42:11 “Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.” As King David writes in a moment of sorrow he asks God why he feels such turmoil within his heart. He knows God is with him, he knows the Lord will never forsake him, and in all things God is good always. We too must remember that in our struggles, in our times of weakness the Lord of creation is with us.

Having and keeping the faith that no matter the purpose of someone coming and or going in your life is difficult, but the Lord has a plan. While we may feel like we’ve been hit by a ton of bricks, and while this may be literal or figurative, the Lord will see us through till the end. Often times we wonder why someone hurts us, why someone will leave their spouse in what appeared to be a loving marriage or relationship. While there are many reasons and likely personal explanations, that we won’t discuss today, the simple answer is this. Sometimes the innocent can be collateral damage. If this is the case and the hurt and pain is caused by someone else keep in mind 1 Corinthians 7:15 “But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.” If someone walks away from you, if someone has decided to follow or pursue a path that is not one that is inline with Christ, do not hold onto that. Do not allow that departure to be a reflection upon yourself. Do not hold onto responsibilities for what is not due unto you. We must always take responsibilities for the things we played a roll in rather it be good or bad. Always own up to your own mistakes. We must fight the urge to take responsibility for things beyond our control. Do not allow the sins of another to add to the burdens you already carry. As grotesque as it sounds and is, do not be the proverbial sin eater. Do not take upon yourself, which is not yours. Often times when a relationship ends, if it ends with little to no warning, and you are left to wonder why, and what happened, it’s easy to start blaming yourself. While this is something I myself have yet to master, and may never will, it’s important that whether it’s your spouse, your friends, or other close relationships, always remember that if someone walks away from you, you may not need to take the blame, do not take on the sins of anyone but yourself. Only take on what you must. Have faith in the Lord, and believe that no matter who leaves you, who abandons you, the Lord’s promise is to never leave or forsake, because the Lord made a new covenant, and this promise by God is not one that is broken.

Remember it’s okay to love another, and it’s okay to feel a devotion to someone, but always remember to put God first. When you remember to put God first, the rest will fall into place.

Forging Steel

Forging Steel

 From birth we are being taught new things, how to write, read, how to get along and play with others, share our toys, and many other various traits we learn. One of the hardest lessons is the difference between right and wrong. How hard is it to teach those lessons, and how hard is it to learn? I’m sure many of you have experienced hardships that taught valuable lessons. We learn by doing most of the time, we value experiences in our life. The phrase sometimes we have to learn the hard way is one of the truest statements we’ll ever experience first hand. We see events around us, we feel them some more deeply then others. Sometimes we are the cause and other times we are collateral damage to hard lessons. One of my favorite shows has a quote I love to use. “Living is not for the weak.” (Arrow) It takes a great deal of courage to face the cruelty of this world over and over. Some people happen to face more challenges then others. The strength to carry on is largely one of faith.

 1 Corinthians 3:11-15 11 For no one can lay a foundation other than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ. 12 Now if anyone builds on the foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw— 13 each one’s work will become manifest, for the Day will disclose it, because it will be revealed by fire, and the fire will test what sort of work each one has done. 14 If the work that anyone has built on the foundation survives, he will receive a reward. 15 If anyone’s work is burned up, he will suffer loss, though he himself will be saved, but only as through fire.” How often is the term forging faith through fire used? Our daily lives and struggles can be considered a crucible. “Most believe there are two types of people who go into a crucible. The ones who become stronger from the experience and survive it, and the ones who die. But there’s a third type. The ones who learn to love the fire and choose to stay in their crucible because it’s easier to embrace the pain when it’s all you know anymore.” (Sabastian Blood, Arrow) How do we face our fire? How do we face our challenges? Do we allow the fire to burn us and break us down?

The thing with good and evil is a certain matter of perspective. In the best stories the villain is often considered the best villains when they are believable or when we can see their point of view. Thus just because something is used for good, or evil you cannot dictate an object. In the movie the Book Of Eli the main villain wants to use the Bible as a weapon to control the towns people. The thing about objects are it’s in the use of the owner. “One mans tool is another man’s weapon.” (Bruce Wayne, Dark Knight Rises) This perspective is interesting and put into the right context explains a good portion of the human condition. We often see things as good or evil. We often see based on perspective, such as a quote from yet another episode of Arrow. “Tot zhe molot chto drobit steklo, kuyet stal.” The same hammer that shatters glass forges steel” (Tayana, Arrow)

I would like to think that as people we could understand both sides of a conflict to better ourselves. We must learn to communicate instead of arguing. We must learn to better ourselves to minimize our judgments. As we go through our own fire, our own crucibles, we must understand that to follow Christ we must learn to allow our old selves to be burnt away, allow our sinful imperfections to be burned away and allow ourselves to follow the Lord. “It’s not enough to just feel the flame You’ve gotta burn your old self away” (Hard Love, by NEEDTOBREATHE) We live by the sword and die by the sword. We must not let the world turn us into hateful, vengeful people. We must learn to Love all, to remember not to allow ourselves to be burned by the fire, instead allow it to burn away anything and everything that isn’t used to live a Godly life. While fire can burn away a life, it can create wonderful pieces of art. A sword for instance is a beautiful creation, a hand-crafted piece of steal that is forged in fire. A sword can break under great pressure, or can withstand the persistent blows it may endure to be used in protecting ones self. Philippians 4:11-13 11 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. 12 I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. 13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” In all things take comfort, and allow yourself to embrace a trial, and stand firm in the fire and allow it to burn away what is necessary to be burned away in accordance to Gods will.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I reach out

I reach out

I reached out and no one was there, the cold bitterness of the dark blackest night. The frozen rain stings against my bare face. The frozen waist land all around and cracks in the ground that would swallow you whole. The moon is gone hidden behind the black clouds. The wind howls and whistles over the ice. Lost on the ice with no compass. The storm so thick two steps in front of you is blotted out in the white wall of snow and ice. The wind chills deep down into your bones. The prick of the icy mix feels like a thousand cuts all over your face. You look down using your arms and hood to block the wind, but it’s no use. You fall to the ground and dig into the snow. You dig until your fingers are numb and there’s a hole big enough to crawl into. You crawl in and curl against the tiny wall you created. You close your eyes.

The storm rages on around you, beating down upon your resolve, your patience, your hope, and yet you remain resolute. Huddle down upon your inner strength and focus on your today, planning on surviving the wintery blast, and hold onto that small bit of warmth inside you to get you threw the now, and into tomorrow.

Psalm 46:1 46 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” When it’s cold outside and we don’t know how to survive the night, it’s in Psalm we find our truth. Psalm 107:29 “29 He maketh the storm a calm, so that the waves thereof are still.” No matter how bad the situation may be, tomorrow’s sunlight can wash away the snow. Psalm 34:17 17 The righteous cry, and the Lord heareth, and delivereth them out of all their troubles.” Are we the righteous, or are we the damned? Are we to rise above the clouds and survive the storm, or are we to die in the frozen waist land of our sorrows? When you are huddled up and you don’t know where to go or how to continue the journey of King David. Psalm 91:1-2 91 He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.” Do we have true faith that in our time of struggles the Lord will be there with us and protect us? Is our faith strong enough to save ourselves in that faith? 2 Corinthians 12:9 “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

Open your eyes huddled down beneath the snow. When you open them your world is in your hands. Your life, your faith in God can be the defining fact. If God’s will be done you open them to the storm subsiding. The sunshine covering the white covered ground, glistening, glowing in the light. The sun glistening off the snow brighter then anything you’ve ever seen. The wonders that the storm stopped, praying for your life, placing your life in God’s capable hands is the direction we should follow. No matter how dire the situation God is capable of surrendering the storm and although you may not come out of the storm completely unscathed, you can be pulled from the heavy weight of the snow.