Tag: christian

My Ledger

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My Ledger 

My sins add up and pile upon me like an avalanche. The ledger of my sins is long, and I hear the lies in the dark. I am bound in chains of my own creation. The darkness surrounds me as the hungry wolves lick their chops circling me ready to pounce. My hands are stained red in the blood of cosmic treason and my failures ring in my ears, the sound of Satan’s victory over the spirit. The ledger I carry weighs me down, and as I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I hear the war drums all around me, the drums of Hell. The Devil and his demons cast shadows on the cavern walls in the shapes of my sins. I’m reminded of all my failures time and time again, and I wonder, I question who am I to be able to stand tall and speak with authority?

I have failed so often, and I know the word, but the world tells me something different. The world has pushed me, shoved me, beat me when I was down. I feel like my feet are buried in mounds of mud and I can’t take a step. Who am I to be able to stand and speak, who am I but a hypocrite, flawed, not worthy of a grain of salt from the Lord. I look deep in my life, and who am I but a two-time failure at marriage, a failure in a career, a financial failure, a failed businessman, and many would argue a failure as a friend. Who am I to stand up and preach the Gospel of our king when my ledger is flooded with so much?

I’ve stumbled and fallen, and I don’t know how I can carry on keeping on. A broken man with broken dreams, shattered on the floor, a life I don’t recognize. Simpler times before the scars appeared, a hope long gone. Broken and afraid, unable to see the sky. The Devil tells me I’m not good enough, he tells me I’m a failure, he tells me I’m a failure, and how can I ever be more, that I deserve Hell. My chains are heavy, and my pain is deep. What more can I say, but on this day, the Devil found a chink in the armor. I am no one important, this is truth, a truth beyond any measure, but what is truth in the absence of Christ, but a lie. The world’s truths are nothing to the Lord above.

No matter the power of Satan, there’s a power greater then any other, that of Christ. Christ’s blood wipes away my red, His blood frees me, sets me free from the bonds that hold onto me. I feel unqualified for what You want me to do my Lord. I feel weak in this task you’ve set before me. I feel small in a great big world, and I doubt myself. I feel fear that I am not worthy of this task, which I am nobody anybody would ever listen too. I don’t know why anyone would believe a word I say. I don’t know why you’d choose me, choose such a wretched sinner like me. My Lord my Savior you cover my wretched body in the reviving waters dissolving my chains.

I’m a sinner like any other man. My works and my deeds mean nothing. My voice is flat and all I am mean nothing without Jesus. Today I feel the weight of my shortcomings, but I know that I am worth more then I feel in my Fathers eyes. Today I don’t feel okay, and perhaps once in a while it’s okay not to be okay. Knowing that Jesus is still there at the right hand of the Father. Knowing that my sins are forgiven, and the Jesus is here by my side in the trenches. Maybe today, it’s okay for me to bend on knee and ask for God’s grace cover over me to give me strength.

When I look over my life I wonder, nah, I doubt if I’m worthy to stand up and proclaim the word of God, but I study, I pray, and even if I doubt my own ability, it is God that strengthens me.       2 Timothy 2:15 (NKJV) 15 “Be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.”

Being fallible, being so full of doubt, and despite my personal feelings on the matter, I cannot help but be reminded of Gideon. Gideon was chosen by God to defeat the Midianites. Gideon was only one man, but the Angel of the Lord promised that he (Gideon) would defeat them as one man. Like any man would be, Gideon was skeptical of his own ability. One man verse an entire army. Not only was Gideon one man, but as scripture tells us he was the weakest in all of Manasseh, and the least of his fathers house. Who are we in this life without God? We are no one, but in Christ, with the blessings from our Father we can concur the wages of this world.

2 Corinthians 4:1-10 (NKJV)

4 Therefore, since we have this ministry, as we have received mercy, we do not lose heart. 2 But we have renounced the hidden things of shame, not walking in craftiness nor handling the word of God deceitfully, but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man’s conscience in the sight of God. 3 But even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing, 4 whose minds the god of this age has blinded, who do not believe, lest the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine on them. 5 For we do not preach ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord, and ourselves your bondservants for Jesus’ sake. 6 For it is the God who commanded light to shine out of darkness, who has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.

7 But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us. 8 We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed— 10 always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body.

We are called to proclaim the word of God, and even when we are stifled in our attempts, or silenced, or when our proclamations fall upon the deaf ears of those yet to unplug from this world, we will not be silenced. Even the weak can have a voice. Even the smallest voice rings with power, and truth, so long as it is proclaiming the word, the glorious word of our King on High Jesus Christ. We allow the Holy Spirit to speak through us, to flow through us, and even though we are yet sinners, we are not bound to this world. We are washed clean not once, but seventy times seven, which is boundless forgiveness from our Heavenly Father. Knowing that my Father forgives me for my sins, even when I don’t deserve is shows me God’s endless amounts of mercy. Forgiveness is a hard concept for some, but forgiving ones self is perhaps harder then forgiving others. While my ledger is always being rewritten, I constantly turn to Christ to forgive me of my earthly torments, my failings, my weaknesses. I fight this world, and while my spirit is willing, my flesh is weak. I am reminded that a sin does not start with an action, but within the heart. Who am I, I ask myself, that God would or could ever use a sinner like me? I am small in this world, without a voice, without stature, or status, but despite my own misgivings, God wishes to move me into the deeper waters. As I once dreamt of being a hero, dreamt of being more, being remembered for something great, now, I am full of doubt, but above all shame of an old life.

What did Paul feel I wonder, after his conversion, he was undoubtedly left with guilt for his actions as Saul. On the eve of change, I find myself facing off with the list of crimes against the cross. I find myself being reminded of all the reasons I am a failure, but worst of all, a hypocrite. I am a sinner like everyone else, and while my sins are equal to every else’s, it’s my own failure to forgive myself, allow myself to let go of yesterday, and remember that Jesus has washed away my crime and never dwells upon it. If Jesus can forgive and forget, why can I not do the same for myself? How can I teach love, and grace, and mercy, and forgiveness if I cannot do the same for myself? I read 2 Corinthians again and realize that I am struck down by the world, but I am still standing. I am tempted by the world, but am pulled back by the Holy Spirit. I am dying as a shell, but surviving as a spirit. I remember that I have a treasure deep within as I am saved by mercy. As Obi-Wan Kanobi once said “if you strike me down, I shall become more powerful then you can ever imagine.” This body is nothing by a vessel, a temporary housing for the spirit, which grows in Christ. I am reminded that like any plant to flourish it takes time, effort, water, light, and the grace of God. Our souls are very much like plants, and we need to remember to water our souls by Christ, and let the light of Jesus shine deep within us. The god of this world wants to keep you in darkness, and as I have heard the lies, heard the accusations against me, I know and trust that Jesus knows my heart, and yet still wants me to move forward on this path of light which is laid out before me. I trust my Father and know that if this is where He wants me who am I to argue with the creator of the universe?

My Ledger may always have something against the cross on it, but Jesus knows we are sinners, and loves us anyway. Jesus knows my faults, knows my shortcomings, but despite them, loves me anyway. Even when I cannot see the good within myself, even when I cannot see the man worth saving, Jesus sees me. Who am I? I am a child of the King, a servant of the Savior, a son of the Father.

The Storms Of Yesterday

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The Storms Of Yesterday

The longest days are the most trying for us all. The dark cloud that covers the sky and tears fall to the ground. So long ago the silence was rocked and the world would never be the same. How many nights of nightmares would live on echoing into the night? How many times do we wish for the light, but in truth, if there wasn’t darkness, we’d never truly know the light. We know your will Lord is pure, and perfect. We know that the sins of long ago still ripple through time today. How the lost stick with us even today as the minutes seemed like hours so many years ago. I remember the numb, the wondering lost in my own mind. I struggled then to see the way, to know the path to walk. I knew you and yet I couldn’t face the truth. After it happened I walked like a robot not feeling, just simply existing. Feeling the lost and wondering why, and I was broken beyond what I thought could ever be pieced back together. 

On that day, 14 years ago I watched in horror as the depravity of man would be self-evident. I watched as hate won out over love, and a sibling rivalry would touch my life in a forever way. I ask God now to give me faith like Daniel. I ask for hope like Moses. I ask you Lord to give me confidence to rise above my anger, to lift my sorrow to joy, and give me a tomorrow to make a difference. 

Not a day goes by that I don’t think about it, that the smells, sights, and the feeling runs through my mind. I can see the destruction in my mind when I close my eyes. I can see the horror in my dreams. I realize I cannot run from it, and like destiny it will find you, because it’s inevitable. I cannot run from my feelings, instead I must learn to embrace them and understand them. I must control the memory, and not allow it to control me. Living with shame and guilt is not what you have planned for me. I often question why you gave me the gift of sight that day, and I wonder if I was supposed to do more, but the explosion happened regardless, and I know I can’t change it now. My faith today is weak, and my strength is low. I know you my Lord will lift me up and you will cover me in the feathers of the angels. 

Father, my father, I know that in the darkness you are with me, and I will stand tall as long as I know you will always stand by me. When Saber fell it rocked my world. How you would take the broken me and turn it into something useful. My broken heart bleeds today. Today Lord so many remember the fallen, and as they seek understanding please place your healing hand over their hearts. Please ease their suffering. Please look after them and give them comfort. The tears of the past are wiped away and I ask your mercy be upon us today. We remember them and rejoice in their lives. We remember how amazing they were, and how they glorify Heaven now. I ask forgiveness for my weakness, and my failures on that day. 

Today I raise a glass to my friends, they are gone, but ever forgotten. Today I remember their lives, and their sacrifice. Today a moment to remember, and to raise my voice to the Heavens and praise Jesus for the family we have because of the lost. We are close and we love one another and out of the ashes of the lost a family is born. So today, I know that today, all my hope is in Jesus. I thank God that yesterday’s gone. I look to tomorrow as yesterday fades away. The storm of emotions fills me today, but you will wipe the tears away, and you will command the storm to leave me. 

Thank you Father for my brothers and the time I knew them. Thank you for the sorrow and showing me how to live through the pain. You give me so much and I praise you in my pain, and trust you know my way. I know you hold my tears, and I know you are with me always. 

Moving Through The Wind

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Moving Through The Wind

In recent years I’ve placed a lot of thought into who my true friends are. I’ve lost sleep over it. I’ve cried regarding it. I’ve yelled and been frustrated by it. In all that time perhaps the greatest lesson I learned was the danger of placing your faith in man. The thing is, growing up in a home with no father, and dealing with family issues resulting in me leaving home, I definitely had father and mother wounds. Those wounds would define a large part of my life and to some extent it still does. I found the need, the craving for acceptance anywhere I could find it. If it wasn’t bad enough to have those wounds from the family dynamic I would be rejected by my peers and for a season, I would face deep reticule, teasing, and strong judgments based on my physical appearance, and my apparent social status. Rejection became a common occurrence for me, and now grown up and after two failed marriages to affairs, it’s no wonder I have a deep-seated fear of abandonment. I think more then abandonment I fear what happened to me two and a half years ago, will haunt me the remainder of my life. When I was abandoned by yet another family, let down and sold out by the ones who were supposed to be there for me, I failed to recognize the one I should have been putting my faith in the whole time, Jesus Christ. 

Christ, the Son of God, the second part of the trinity, the savior of mankind over the power of sin on a fallen world. Christ is the only hope that matters. Christ is the only star to guide yourself by in the blackness of light. Christ is the one who will never leave nor forsake you. And yet sometimes it seems Christ is so far away. While the evidence shows this is not true, as a sinful man, living in a sinful fallen world, the lies faced by the greatest liar and deceiver of all time, Satan, and his demons, are intrusive at the very least. Satan’s battle plan is to lie, to deceive, to make every opportunity to sway us away from the graces of God and into the hands of evil. Often this happens slowly, tiny little movements to alter the course, like putting a magnet close to a compass in secret. This spiritual warfare happens frequently and appearing to be benign, however that’s farthest from the truth. Not every attack on our minds or hearts is a frontal assault. Small actions of sabotage over time can prove just as an affective strategy for Lucifer the General of the darkness as a full frontal assault. 

We endure many hardships and heartbreaks along our path. Illness of family, or even ourselves may happen at any time and fundamentally change the course of life forever. We often ask why us, why did this — happen to me? It’s hard for the human mind to grasp these hardships, these tragedies, but if we could take a moment and place ourselves on a different level of thinking, could we not see the potential of impactful behaviors on those around us? How we live our lives has effects like ripples in a pond, and we never know how far reaching our actions may be. Laying in a hospital bed sick, maybe even dying, but singing praises to Jesus and God our Heavenly Father, may be the information a nurse ever knows about Jesus. How sad it is that we somehow think everything that happens is about us, as if we were the center of the cosmic universe. The truth is, we are small pieces of a larger puzzle, and we all have a roll to play. We may not like the idea of being so small, and in one manner of speaking insignificant, but to God we are vastly, irreplaceable. God loves his children, and no matter the cause of any bad or tragic thing, God is using that for some form of good, never letting anything, no opportunity to go to waist. We on the other hand, we let opportunities slip by us frequently. We pass up chances to pray for others. We pass up chances to share the Gospel. We pass up chances to allow the light of Christ to shine through us. Largely I think this happens out of fear, just like the denial of Christ by Peter, that out of fear of persecution of acknowledgement to what’s become an unpopular belief in today’s world. Being Christian isn’t easy, but I’m all fairness, we were warned from the beginning it wouldn’t be. And if we’re honest about it, why should it be easy? We are horrible people. We sin against our Father, and we have dark stains covering our souls. It’s only through the blood we are redeemed, but we often think of that as a right and not as a gift. We think of that as insurance, a license to sin, because God will forgive us no matter what we do. 

The life we are given comes at a price, and if we are honest it’s a test, a journey to discover the truth, and not just discover the truth, but accept it into our hearts, following Christ. The journey to Heaven is a challenging one, full of struggle and hardships, but also one of great joy, and love. 

Some people endure more then others, and some people manage to do so with grace. What is the difference between us I wonder? Faith is powerful and in it, and with Christ, God gives us a great gift. Faith is something that must be cultivated. Faith must be tended to like a garden. Faith is something we are given through the power of the Holy Spirit and in that we have the power to become more then the tiny creatures we really are. In God, through God we are made big, big enough to lead, to grow, to inspire, and we are made into warriors with a spirit of hope, and not fear. Are we willing to grow beyond our baser instincts of fear and doubt, or are we willing to surrender to the Lord and allow that spirit to fill us up and guide us? Yes I have deep routed wounds that have left scars in my life, but as I have grown through the pain, which has not been easy, I have learned the truth, Jesus is the only truth, the only way. 

The scars, though they often have a way of reminding me they are there, they are also a reminder of what I’ve endured. The future is of course not known to me, but one thing I do know is we all have a purpose. God’s graces and mercy are not bound to limits, but are only limited by what we can manage and our own purposes. Life is full of uncertainties and we expect certain things, and we ought to ask what can or should we be doing for the Holy Name of Christ. Walking a path of Christ, can often lead to a life of emotional solitude. As the list of whom one can trust gets smaller, the isolation inevitably creeps in and requires strength to fight against the whispers from the dark. 

Some of us face the darkness more then others. I, having seen death up close know the struggle many face with depression, loneliness, and an isolation that has deep roots. Facing these things can be a challenge and alone impossible. The world as we know it was created, and we along with it have a unique purpose, and never is that purpose to endure the hardships or darkness alone. The truth is there may be times in this life when you venture ahead alone. Of course, I’m not referring to God, for scripture says God is with us always, never forsaking us. We were created, designed to be in relationships and when we find ourselves without the draw of the worldly relationships, or lack there of can be difficult. I can be in a crowded room and sometimes feel completely alone, isolated, cut off from the people and world around me. We must remember to keep the helmet of salvation on and tight. We cannot open ourselves to the Devils lies or whispers. The dominion of the deceiver is designed to break you down, pull you away from the Lord. Christ was clear when he said “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” Christ doesn’t day you might have troubles, he says you will! Are you ready for those days? Are you ready for the days when the war knocks on your door? Are you ready for the day when the servants of the Devil attacks you? Are you ready with the full Armor of God to fight the battle of spiritual warfare? 

I know my armor, I know the word, and even with that I am still susceptible to the barrage of lies from the dark. Satan loves to wear you down. He hates you and loves causing doubt, and bringing you down. Life isn’t easy and was never promised to be, but ultimately we have a choice, we can live in life believing all that the world tells us, that the idea of God is antiquated, or truth is subjective to fit each person’s opinions. That science is the end of truth and leaves no room for anything it cannot yet explain. That God is dead and no longer relevant in the world today. But to believe any of that is to have fallen for the greatest lie Satan conceived. The truth is, and there’s only one, our Lord Jesus Christ, was born of a Virgin Mary. He was God made flesh, to live a perfect life, to break the bonds of sin, to take on the full cosmic wrath of God in punishment for sin past, present, and future. Died on the cross and forgiving mankind of the sin in which they truly did not understand. Was buried in a tomb and on the third day, Rose again, fulfilling prophecy. Folding the napkin telling the world death was finished. He rose and proved it by appearing to over 500 in a forty day period. Changed the hearts of the disciples who were living in fear. The spirit of courage changed them to be courageous of their faith and they did not hide any longer. The bridge is open and the invitation is sent. Christ is waiting for us with open arms if we only cleave away our old selves, and pick up the cross and follow Him. I am not a perfect man, and in many ways, I’m a broken misfit toy, but in this story, God uses the broken, God uses the small, God uses the misfit, and God gives strength, and courage beyond our wildest dreams. God uses the island of misfit toys and in God’s house I’m not an outsider, I’m not a misfit that doesn’t belong. In God’s house I’m welcomed just the way I’m am, and in that day I give up the ghost, I will be transformed, this body will fade away, my final sins will be washed away forever, and into paradise I will go, no longer chasing the wind. 

How Long Will You Wait?

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How Long Will You Wait?

I hear it all the time; “I have to work on some things before I can go to church.” I hear so many excuses for so many different areas of life, and while of course some are legitimate others are not. At some point we must launch. We cannot sit on the launch pad forever. While there may be delays in the launch, we need to be ready when the weather clears and we are a go for launch. We cannot continue to shelve problems, or kick the can down the road to deal with later.

Do we move with intent towards God every day? Do we push ourselves to move beyond our lazy nature, or do we become stagnant swamp water? When I think of moving forward with Christ I think of the Apostle Paul. The fight he faced for so long in his life was beyond what most of us would ever face. If we were faced with that kind of opposition would we pick up our ball and go home? Would we keep our faith, or would we go back to our old ways of life? When you live in Christ your spirit is constantly refilled in the Holy Spirit.2 Timothy 4:6 (NKJV)“For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure is at hand.”Paul knew his time was at hand to depart this world, and he knew that his work was good work. The thing about Paul was he wasn’t afraid to die. You cannot truly face life, and face challenges if you are afraid to fail, or die. Paul knew he would suffer in the name of the Lord, and he was prepared because he knew God’s grace was sufficient for him. 

When we consider the challenges in our life, would we be willing to die for Christ? There are hills to die on and there are fights that aren’t worth the effort. Christ is the hill to die on. Christ is the only hill we face that we need to ever truly worry about. So many of us live for this world. So many people live to make money, or seek fame. So many people live for trinkets or other things that keep them tethered to this world, but we are called to cleave to Christ and sever the desires of this world. 2 Timothy 4:9 (NKJV) “Be diligent to come to me quickly; 10 for Demas has forsaken me, having loved this present world, and has departed for Thessalonica—Crescens for Galatia, Titus for Dalmatia.”Will we abandon those we are called to serve along side, or will we remain faithful and vigilant like Luke? Will we fight when the fight comes to our door or will we cower in fear? Will you stand on the truth and preach that truth, or will you forgo doctrine for the pleasing of others? 2 Timothy 4:3 (NKJV)“For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, because they have itching ears, they will heap up for themselves teachers;”It is not easy to stand against the pressures of the world, but we must remember what’s at stake. Jesus came to us on a rescue mission. Jesus deployed from Heaven to come and rescue us from the hostage situation we were in. We were being held in bondage by sin, and that sin was never going to negotiate. Jesus came to save us, and give us a change at forever. God gives us a spirit of strength not fear. 

In order for us to truly launch we must understand that nothing we face in this world is by chance. We make choices that send us on a path. We face our own repercussions. God corrects our actions as needed. We face preparation, or face the sins of others. No matter where we find ourselves we are on a divine appointment. No matter if it’s at the store in the check out line, or rolling up on a rollover accident we are where we need to be when we need to be there. God wants you and the question is, are you available to answer the call? When the time comes how will you finish your journey? Will you finish it like Paul? 2 Timothy 4:7-8 (NKJV)“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8 Finally, there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give to me on that Day, and not to me only but also to all who have loved His appearing.”

When we prepare to take our last trip around the sun how will we answer to God? God gives us all talents and we have the opportunity to grow those talents, or squander them away. Christ gives us the opportunity to launch and we have the button for a go/no go for launch. Will you rise to the occasion or crash into the water? The choice is yours. Finish your journey strong and pleasing to the Lord.

Do You Doubt Yourself

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Do You Doubt Yourself? 

God, I can’t do what you ask of me; you’ve got the wrong person for the job. God, why am I not handsome enough? God, why am I so stupid I can’t figure out this math? God, I’m not good enough.

No matter what your doubt is, or your level of self-esteem, there’s one very important detail to remember, God loves you, and God has created you for a purpose. It’s hard to understand that we won’t be good at everything. Not everyone will like us, or even respect us. God knows our hearts, our strengths and weaknesses, and because of that God uses us to fit our skill set. I know God isn’t going to put me in a position to rely on math. I also know my gifts don’t rest within the nursery at church, however the youth, God thought it would funny to place me outside my comfort zone to get involved with the youth program at church, despite my comfort level. I have often wondered why me, and I’ve questioned what gives me the right to teach, or preach about our Lord and Savior. I’ve wondered what makes me the right person to start with. When it comes down to it though, am I questioning myself, or am I questioning God? Does God make mistakes? According to scripture, no, God’s plan is perfect, so then, we are the ones sinking in the water because of a little faith.

What do we think about ourselves with others? The Devil is the great divider. If Lucifer can divide us from inside paradise imagine what he can do to our marriages, our families, communities, etc. It’s hard thinking about how far divided we really are. We are divided in ideals, politics, even now the topic of biological sex identity. We have truly become lost in the ideas of the world. Even lost we have hope, a hope of tomorrow, a hope of eternal, and no longer the darkness reigns without a hope. We just need to see the red letters and know the truth. Galatians 3:26 NKJV“For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus.” For my God has breathed a breath of life, and I am reborn in it. I feel the spirit renew my faith everyday. I feel God by my side even in the darkest of nights. I feel God’s warmth in the coldest of days. Fear does not run my life as it once had. I came to the Father broken, and I was remade, re-forged, and built stronger. 

Colossians 3 speaks of being a new man/woman, a new creation in the spirit of the Lord. It calls for us to let go of the old self, to allow the old (you) to die away and be reborn. You aren’t who you were growing up or what side of the tracks you grew up on. We are made of God and in the Holy Spirit we are not divided in God’s house. We are all valued to why do we devalue others, or even ourselves? Just because we are different, and come from different places, doesn’t mean we don’t all add value to this life. Colossians 1:16 NKJV“For by Him all things were created that are in heaven and that are on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or principalities or [powers. All things were created through Him and for Him.”We are all made of God, for God, and that means that each of us plays a roll, not a matter of big or small, God loves us all just the same. 

God I don’t know if I can teach that class. God I don’t know if I can go on that mission trip. God I don’t know if I can lead that ministry in my church. God chooses us because He knows we can handle it. God appoints us because we are the right person for the right job. We must learn to trust in that and be willing to submit, and not constantly push back. We are all Human beings and we bring differences but even in those differences we celebrate under one name, Jesus Christ. We are under our creator the one and only Father God.

We doubt if we can live together, or if we can coexist in this world, but the thing is, we must live in harmony together. Republican or Democrat we say “Oh I’ll never be friends with that someone who voted for that guy.” Even worse, is when the dissention becomes hostile and filled with anger and violence. We don’t have to agree but we are called to live together under one ozone layer. It’s time to put away the foolishness that’s ridden our planet in anger and hatred. It’s time to realize it’s time to make a change. Proverbs 17:27NKJV “He who has knowledge spares his words, And a man of understanding is of a calm spirit.”

God our father teaches a quiet answer that turns away wrath. Do not allow your insecurities to cause you to try and strong arm your opinion. Do not allow fear to dictate your actions. We all have our creator in common and even when I doubt who I am, what I can do in this world, God always says “I got this”.

Always speak the truth and we do that in love. All things are possible in Love. God gives us all a chance to do great things, or terrible things. We have the opportunity to spread love and at the same time if we doubt ourselves, trust that we are loved by the Father. No matter the opportunities God places in your lap, God chose you to be the one unique enough to handle the job. No matter if it’s a ministry class, a mission trip, a conflict at home or work, we have the power to change because we learn the truth in Jesus Christ. We may not be able to change others, but we can change ourselves. Don’t doubt who you are, instead grow in Christ. Don’t run from Christ’s calling for you, instead embrace it, and know that you are so loved by our creator that He wants a personal relationship with you. That means you’re important and needed and wanted. It doesn’t matter what man/women, says about you, all that matters is what we do and if it’s pleasing to God.

We are gifted with Grace, and blessed with Mercy, and we have our Faith that in Jesus Christ alone we are saved. We have Scripture to guide us, to teach us, and in all we do bring Glory to the father. These are the pillars in which we stand and if we are honest with ourselves, we have a blessing and we should all feel special and loved. Don’t let the world tell you you’re anything less then royalty under the blood of Christ. Don’t let the weight and sin of this world eclipse who you really are.

Whom Will You Kneel For

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Whom Will You Kneel For 

The world, life, is hard and is relentless in the attack. I was thinking about the movie Superman, and the picture of Zod in front of Superman demanding the man of steel kneels before the general. We have a choice in our life to determine whom we ultimately want to kneel before. We don’t have the option to sit on the sidelines and not choose a side. Everyone has a side, even those who don’t believe at all have a side. If we are not with Christ we are with the world. If you’re are in the world, you may be an unwitting participant in the team for Christ, but more often then not we become unwitting pawns of the Devil. I just heard the public outcry, ‘but I’m a good person!’ While that may be true, good doesn’t get us into Heaven. 

The idea of being saved is different from the idea of being submitting. The act of kneeling is the physical show of a person submitting. Ephesians 3:8-14“To me, who am less than the least of all the saints, this grace was given, that I should preach among the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ, 9 and to make all see what is the fellowship of the mystery, which from the beginning of the ages has been hidden in God who created all things through Jesus Christ; 10 to the intent that now the manifold wisdom of God might be made known by the church to the principalities and powers in the heavenly places, 11 according to the eternal purpose which He accomplished in Christ Jesus our Lord, 12 in whom we have boldness and access with confidence through faith in Him. 13 Therefore I ask that you do not lose heart at my tribulations for you, which is your glory.”14 For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,”

Jesus Christ is the great healer, and the Son of the Father. We are healed from our chains, and set free, but how many of us are willing to submit to the father? We love the idea of fire insurance, or the get out of Hell free card, and that describes the savior part, but what about the Lord part? Do we truly, if we’re honest about it, feel the need to bow, or drop to bended knees for the Lord of the universe? We love the insurance, but to be a servant, that’s the line. Our Lord says, Matthew 7:21-23“Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. 22 Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’ 23 And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’ 

Knowing that Jesus Christ existed, and accepting the power of Heaven and Earth, are very different then succumbing to them. Knowing the power of Christ and allowing the Holy Spirit to wash over you, it’s hard not to drop to your knees when you finally have the release of the world on your shoulders when you submit to Christ. We know that being a Christian, especially today is very difficult, but we realize that we still have freedoms to worship without fear of being turned into human candles which is exactly what Nero of Rome did to early Christians. 

Whom will you kneel for, and when your faith is questioned, or attacked by the world, will you have the strength to kneel before God, and stand up to man? The battle for your soul has already been won and gift wrapped for you, but you have to choose to use it. Christ died for you so you wouldn’t have to bare the weight of your sin, and in return some very simple things were asked of you. Love with all your heart and submit to Christ. The war is still being waged, and eventually, hopefully before it’s too late, you’ll have to pick which side you want to be on. As for me, I’d rather kneel before God, than stand against Him. It’s never too late to let go of yourself, and be made new in the blood of Christ. It’s never too late to let go of yourself, and realize God’s way is far better than your own. We could never hope to achieve success on our own, and if we measure success from a world view, then we will only have greatness in this life, but if we accept the greatness and mystery of Jesus Christ, we will see greatness from a Heavenly view when this life passes away. Of course, it’s a choice we all must make, and some will refuse to submit to the Lord, and scripture is clear what happens to them. It might not seem fair, or just, or compassionate, but when we don’t follow rules of man we go to jail, a life in four walls, freedoms stripped away, but when we consider breaking the cosmic rules, that’s unfair. How small and foolish creatures we are to think we know better then the sovereign God of the Universe. There’s hope in Jesus, as Jesus is the one and only hope. 

Looking Back

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Looking Back

As the year 2018 ends, looking back over this last year I wonder what I’ve accomplished. While I can’t say I’ve had the most productive year, but I don’t believe it’s been a total waist either. While I’m not sure I see my own growth, I have been told I have grown, and no I don’t mean my stomach, I mean my walk with the Heavenly Father. I have moved farther along on my path to a Bachelors Degree. I have joined a young adult bible study that I enjoy going too. I have started working towards being ordained. I have attempted to get a recumbent trike from the VA as part of my recovery from back surgery. I completed another round of physical therapy. I have maintained a debt free life. I participated in multiple Wounded Warrior Project events. I said hello to new friends, goodbye to some of them, even goodbye to some old friends. The biggest change in my life is meeting a wonderful lady named Argie. We have grown in our affection of one another despite the distance between us. We are making plans to meet early in 2019 and I have become quite hopeful for that visit.

While on the surface from the outside looking in it may not look like I’ve made any progress but in reality, laying the groundwork and a solid foundation takes time and efforts. There have been setbacks along the way as my career in security ended abruptly. But God closes off paths to bad areas we don’t need to be. Security was over for me, and when it closed I decided to listen to God and trust in the new path before me. It’s interesting how God will take something completely unrelated and show us a path. While I was in Cape Cod I met some great men of God and they made great points of scripture that would lead me to my new path. Interestingly enough this came less then two weeks after I would loose my Job in security.

Going into this New Year I would recommend not looking back except to learn lessons, and leave the junk behind. Do not hold onto pain, or losses, or regrets. Learn from them, and always have a spirit of joy. The Lord God is plentiful with gifts from above, and we should be rejoicing that we still draw breath, and that while we do we can live for God. 1 Chronicles 16:11-12“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”1 Chronicles 16:8“A blessing for you, because the Lord your God loves you.”

Do not live in the past, because it’s gone and done. Look ahead to the future with joy and hope for Jesus loves you. 

Blind Justice

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Blind Justice

We spend so much time trying to fight what we cannot see, smell, or touch. How do we prove something that happened 2000 years ago, and how do we face that truth if it were to flip our world upside down? The truth is we often hold anger and resentment early in our life that forces us down a path of quantifying what we see and what we fan feel, the problem is when that pain forces us to a feeling that there is nothing out there, no God, no grand plan, just cosmic chance.

We often want answers as to why bad things happen to good people. We want to know why people get sick, or why babies die, or why there is evil in the world? The idea that there is evil in the world because of a cosmic or divine standing such as sin is hard for some people to believe. Some people believe that sin is just the nature of man and man is only the wirings within the mind, the nature and nurture argument that a compound of events molds a person into the way they are and thus sin is nothing more then biology. While many compare this in adults, we fail to recognize the sin that spawns in children at an early age. The sin, or nature to lie, or to steal, or harm animals, or even other children is nature are it’s earliest stages but if it’s nature and nurture then what’s the cause? If human behavior is not inherently sinful and evil is a learned trait then where do children at this young age learn such behavior?

We want to think that we are in control of our lives, and that there is no one else, and nothing else at work. We want to believe that we are all we need and nothing else can dictate policy for our lives. Many view the Christian faith as a faith of rules, of guidelines in which a cosmic fairy tells us what we are doing wrong, as it takes the fun out of life, and in turn threatens us with some imaginary fiery torment for all eternity. So instead of putting any credence to this nonsense, people walk their walk and live their lives however they want, and while some live their lives in complete peace of others, there are some who find the cross so distasteful, so offensive that they cannot help themselves but to wage war with Christianity.

For those who wage war with Christianity, what is the main piece of contention? As it has been said by both Lee Strobel and J. Werner Wallace, the linchpin of Christianity rests with the resurrection of Christ. If the resurrection didn’t happen then the followers of Christ were liars and died for a known lie and Christ was just some profound Rabbi. If it did happen, and Christ did raise from the dead, then how would we be able to prove it happened? There are manuscripts that date back to within 30 years of the resurrection of Christ, and there are thousands of manuscripts that can all be cross-referenced to prove validity. That being said, there is still the question of how to prove or disprove the case for Christ. There are 5843 surviving manuscripts of ancient texts that is far more then those of the Iliad, and other early writings. All of these things further the evidence that this was not an isolated account. How can we expect to find truth if we are unwilling to truly add up the facts that all point to one truth, Jesus.

Women were not allowed to be legal witnesses, and every account of the life and resurrection of Christ does not show discrepancies, it shows a different perspective, different pieces of the puzzle that all point to the same overall story, despite the small variances in story, the overwhelming evidence points to the empty tomb that the Romans, and Jews were unable to prove foul play. The first account of the missing body was reported by women, and the fact that would only hurt the case for Chris, yet that did not detract the Apostles to tell the truth. There is no way 500 people would have been under some joint hallucination, or mass psychosis. This is just simply not possible. Yet, so many people discount the 500 eye witness, the truth does not just come from followers of Christ, yet Romans and Jews alike. The accounts of the empty tomb and the death of those followers of Christ has accounts on both sides who wanted nothing more then to prove the stolen body theory. Jesus did not survive the cross as many have proven, that his death was most assuredly accurate.

Scripture is not the only account out there but scripture is the only truth, the others just collaborate the truth. Jesus was thrust with a spear at the end of his life by trained killers, killers who if failed would be executed themselves. Jesus died on the cross from his injuries sustained in a flogging, beatings, hanging on the cross unable to breath, and bleeding to death, Christ would not have survived his ordeal. The cross is offensive to so many, but even for sinners and atheists alike, the cross is a symbol one so many find distasteful or are afraid of. So many people allow their anger and hate to blind them from a truth they don’t want to see. The truth is, it doesn’t matter if you are Atheist, Buddhist, Muslim, Pagan, or any other faith sins are equal at the foot of the cross. Jesus dying on the cross for the love of all mankind was a gift, one that was given freely and for all those who seek Him to use. A gift without application is worthless, but for those of us who seek Christ, who seek to have a relationship with the Father, we understand that the justice of the Father is blind. We understand that before the cross all sin is equal, and so long as we seek the Father through Jesus Christ the sins we have are washed away because Christ alone took the punishment, the wrath of God for them. As we know from our own legal system, justice holds the scales and is blind to anything but the facts. Our Heavenly Father does not see our color, our creeds, our nationalities, even our flaws, for the scales are level for each of us. Our hearts which turn to Christ, to be made a new creation, to burn away the sins of the past, to be reborn with a new heart, washed by the waters in baptism showing ones faith to the world, starting a path as a new person.

It is because of Christ I do not fear death, instead I know that when my work here on Earth is done I will be welcomed home with open arms. It is because of Christ that I have any hope at all within this life, and the hardships I’ve endured seem to mean something. It is in Christ I know that my suffering as not been for naught and I trust in my Fathers plans for me. I know that love is more powerful then my sins, and that sins albeit cosmic treason against an almighty, all powerful God, love concurs death itself. My works are but filthy rags to the Lord but my heart is worth all eternity. It is the heart in which Christ died for, the gift for each and every one of us to choose to have that relationship with Him in our hearts. How lucky are we to have a God who cares about us, who cares about our well being, and wants only what’s best for us. How gracious are we to be to give God nothing short of our love and devotion. Jew and Gentiles we are all welcomed into the Kingdom, and the price of admission is love. We are to have a loving relationship with Jesus Christ.

Christ changed my life two years ago, and while it hasn’t been an easy road for me, I know that Christ has plans for me. I was angry with God for the way everything had happened with my ex-wife. I was angry that I was made to go through such an awful even not once, but twice in my life. God though doesn’t make people do bad things, they are more then capable of doing that on their own. God does however promise to see us through those bad times. God promises that He would never leave nor forsake us. God didn’t just promise those things to me in passing, but when the odds were stacked against me to survive, God put a stop to my own death, assuring me my sins were forgiven, and breathing new life into my chest. A miracle to say the very least, and not only did I survive, I have come so far under the guidance of my Heavenly Father. Christ lives and as one of my favorite movie series points out, “God’s NOT DEAD!” No God is not dead, and the empty tomb and over 500 eyewitnesses proves that. We have so much evidence for the existence of Christ’s miraculous life, all we have to do is accept what we find. Bad things happen in and around the church and this often pushes people away. People judge God by the actions of people. People hate God or despise the very existence of God because they often feel hurt or betrayed by God, or deny that a God could be so careless to allow such evil or bad things to happen. The truth is, we don’t always have the answers of God and the why, but we do understand that we have free will to love or hate. We have free will to build or destroy, and it’s in those decisions our actions are born, thus we do amazing or awful things. The pursuit of power, greed, or sexual lust are the three basis that people do most things wrong in adult life. God does not need us, but wants us to be with Him in Heaven.

Jesus Dies 

Luke 19:44-46“Now it was about the sixth hour, and there was darkness over all the earth until the ninth hour. 45 Then the sun was darkened, and the veil of the temple was torn in two. 46 And when Jesus had cried out with a loud voice, He said, “Father, ‘into Your hands I commit My spirit.’ ” Having said this, He breathed His last.”

John 19:34“But one of the soldiers pierced His side with a spear, and immediately blood and water came out.”

The Empty Tomb 

Luke 24:1-12 24 “Now on the first day of the week, very early in the morning, they, [a]and certain other women with them, came to the tomb bringing the spices which they had prepared. 2 But they found the stone rolled away from the tomb. 3 Then they went in and did not find the body of the Lord Jesus. 4 And it happened, as they were [b]greatly perplexed about this, that behold, two men stood by them in shining garments. 5 Then, as they were afraid and bowed their faces to the earth, they said to them, “Why do you seek the living among the dead? 6 He is not here, but is risen! Remember how He spoke to you when He was still in Galilee, 7 saying, ‘The Son of Man must be delivered into the hands of sinful men, and be crucified, and the third day rise again.’ ”

8 And they remembered His words. 9 Then they returned from the tomb and told all these things to the eleven and to all the rest. 10 It was Mary Magdalene, Joanna, Mary the mother of James, and the other women with them, who told these things to the apostles. 11 And their words seemed to them like [c]idle tales, and they did not believe them. 12 But Peter arose and ran to the tomb; and stooping down, he saw the linen cloths [d]lying by themselves; and he departed, marveling to himself at what had happened.” 

John 20:4-7“So they both ran together, and the other disciple outran Peter and came to the tomb first. 5 And he, stooping down and looking in, saw the linen cloths lying there; yet he did not go in. 6 Then Simon Peter came, following him, and went into the tomb; and he saw the linen cloths lying there, 7 and the [a]handkerchief that had been around His head, not lying with the linen cloths, but folded together in a place by itself.”

Jesus Resurrected 

John 20:24-29 24 “Now Thomas, called the Twin, one of the twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. 25 The other disciples therefore said to him, “We have seen the Lord.”

So he said to them, “Unless I see in His hands the print of the nails, and put my finger into the print of the nails, and put my hand into His side, I will not believe.”

26 And after eight days His disciples were again inside, and Thomas with them. Jesus came, the doors being shut, and stood in the midst, and said, “Peace to you!” 27 Then He said to Thomas, “Reach your finger here, and look at My hands; and reach your hand here, and put it into My side. Do not be unbelieving, but believing.”

28 And Thomas answered and said to Him, “My Lord and my God!”

29 Jesus said to him, [f]“Thomas, because you have seen Me, you have believed. Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”

Reasons to Believe 

The eye witnesses had power, had prestige, and money. They had nothing to gain giving up their life for Christ, except for the truth of a Heavenly Father. Every eyewitness was willing to die for the truth. That puts their testimony in a different category then you or I.

The chain of evidence is there if people actually look at it. The writings and teachings did not change from writings within 20-30 years, till the counsel in which the bible was assembled.

Christianity is true because the evidence points to truth. God is truth and the scales are equal for each and every one of us. 

Check the Loot

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Check the Loot

The other day, I asked someone what loot they came up with, and they weren’t sure what I meant. I figured it was an obvious question, but as I have come to realize, nothing I think is obvious. I’ve been considering a few things this Christmas and the first is, do we truly hold the Christmas spirit in our daily life? Second, how much emphasis do we put on the ‘stuff’ we get? While there’s no doubt, I was very surprised by some of my items I received as they were not on my list, but fit me very well. I will say this, I am immensely blessed this year. I received far more then I deserved and I cannot express the happiness I felt. While I am very happy for what I received this year, I can safely say nothing compares to the gift of that baby boy we celebrate.

We give gifts to our loved ones the same way Jesus received gifts. While Jesus did not receive the Wise Men’s gifts the night he was born, we honor that tradition. I see that I am a nobody, and all I’m doing is trying to share the word about somebody. (Casting Crowns) I have come to realize for so many years I wanted to make a difference in this world. I wanted to be remembered for making a difference, but as I have grown I have realized it’s not about me. It’s not even about the people around me, for the only one I need to please is my Heavenly Father. I work for his pleasure, I work for the glory of God, and my reward will be eternal salvation in Heaven. That’s the greatest gift I could ever ask for. It’s time for me to change my focus and step back from my own desire, and focus on the desire of my Abba.

I spent so long in my life looking for others for approval, for acceptance, and as I am now realizing, it’s Christ I needed the approval from. My heart was wrapped in chains, and nothing would ever quench the thirst I had. I was held in bondage under the twisted notion that what I did in this life mattered if it wasn’t for the right reasons. I held onto the idea that if I worked hard enough, if I gave enough, if I helped enough that I would be accepted, that my gifts of my heart, or my time, would win over those around me, but those I was giving myself to were of this world, and my gift would be in vein. I wanted to be accepted by the world, and I was wrong thinking their acceptance would account for anything. It is in scripture I found the gift that has lasted a lifetime. Romans 12:2“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” The gifts I wanted would never satisfy and it took me years before I found that. 

While we are going through the loot we got please keep in mind the gift of the living waters, the gift of love and grace we were giving in that baby boy’s sacrifice. No matter how much we love the gifts we get they are nothing compared to the gift of salvation and forgiveness of our sins. There is nothing greater and we best not loose sight of that. Sure it’s nice to have cool gadgets and toys but we can’t take them with us. It’s better to enjoy the time with friends and family over the stuff we get. 

Have You Been Naughty or Nice?

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Have You Been Naughty or Nice? 

We are in the mindset we’ve been nice, and we’ve made the list in which Santa Claus has checked twice. We think we deserve gifts and presents but we’ve lost sight of what’s so important. Instead of Santa it’s God who truly knows if we’ve been naughty or nice. When we think of our walk are we walking in God’s will or our own will? Luke 1:26-3326 “Now in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent by God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth, 27 to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. The virgin’s name was Mary. 28 And having come in, the angel said to her, “Rejoice, highly favored one, the Lord is with you; blessed are you among women!” 29 But when she saw him, she was troubled at his saying, and considered what manner of greeting this was. 30 Then the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. 31 And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bring forth a Son, and shall call His name Jesus. 32 He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Highest; and the Lord God will give Him the throne of His father David. 33 And He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of His kingdom there will be no end.”Our sins are treacherous and filthy and our sins forever place us on the naughty list. We are wrapped up in emotions this time of year and we often loose sight of truth. Faith is based on God’s truth not emotions. We cannot look back to our emotions and expect our perceptions to be based on reality. 

Santa is a fun fantasy we enjoy but we cannot take our eyes off of the real giver of the best gift we could ever accept. Forgiveness of our sins for eternal salvation is freely given despite the naughty nature of our lives. Hebrews 11:6“But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.” We must accept into our heart that 

James 1:17“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.”

Philippians 4:19 (NKJV)19 “And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.”

Matthew 7:11“If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!”

John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.”

We celebrate Christmas of the little baby in the manger, but we forget it was be cause we were hopeless without Him, we were sinners in which there was no hope of works to win our way to Heaven. Death is a gift, a release of a sinful life for a place of no sorrow, no pain, and no tears. Our naughty nature is wasted away and Heaven awaits us where we will forever be amazing.

Now, before all of you get up in arms about Santa Claus let me add a personal note, I believe the spirit of Santa Claus is very alive and real. In the 4thcentury Saint Nicholas was a very alive and real person who gave gifts generously to those of the poor. While the legend has changed, and small things were added or moved, the idea of Santa has endured. The magic and mysticism of Santa may have grown as time has moved forward, but the truth is, while Santa may no longer be a real person (that we know of) the thought of what Santa represents is just fine. Giving to those in need selflessly is not only a Santa thing, but as the Saint who gave birth to the legend was a Christian bishop. Live your life with a giving heart, and full of love. Keep Christmas cheer and while Santa is great, remember Santa worked for Christ, just doing as Christ had done. Don’t put Santa ahead of Christ, but don’t miss the spirit of good ol Saint Nick.