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At Years End 2022

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The world isn’t a place for everyone. For some, the world is only paradise they will ever know. The price of darkness may never feel the need to attack you. See, this world can be like a prison. For some, they will stay inside their walls freely, never seeking to escape, never reaching for the open door. For others, the prison like those in the matrix, they can feel something is wrong with the world. “It is all around you, even in this very room. You can see it when you look out the window or when you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work, when you go to church, when you pay your taxes.” (The Matrix) so many people are content eating their steak, and going about their day to day lives without care for the truth. People die young, cancer attacks a child, the wife has an affair and destroys everything. There is betrayal, and lies, and hardships beyond imagining. When was the last time you saw public outcry against Muslims, against their belief that homosexuality is a sin? Or that in Muslim countries there are strict laws against it. When was the last time you heard the outcry against Buddhism? Why is the world not attack other faith? I believe the answer is clear, why would Satan put time attacking something that isn’t true? Satan doesn’t see the others as a threat so there is no need to put his forces against falsehoods.

Sin does not need to be taught. Sin comes naturally in this world. We often cry out to God upset at the Father because of calamity that befalls us. How much of our struggle is of our own making? How much is caused by our own actions, our own lust of the selfishness and narcissistic behavior that lives in sin? When we are not walking with God we get mad at God for allowing disaster. Judgment comes in many ways to those who mock Gods commandments. When we are silent in our hearts about the sin that infiltrates and destroys our communities, judgment is imminent. We have spit in the face of God. We have turned our backs on His teachings. We have neglected his commands and commissions. Now as the world turns to darkness we cry out asking for salvation.

The path to destruction is wide and the way to salvation is narrow. The struggle in which we find ourselves can be seen as tests, or as a forge. In the military we train as we fight. We prepare for battle by simulating battle. We seek knowledge, and stamina by continually training. In a world clouded in darkness, those who wish to fight back, to stand firm against the enemy, must be forged into something new. You must be born again, for only those born again will enter the Kingdom of God. (John 3) If we are born again don’t we need to be trained for our new selves? Don’t we need to be taught and prepare for the obstacles we face in our new lives?

2022 was a rough year. From injuries, to illness, to setbacks in personal areas in my life, to kidney stones, to infections. After all the injuries and sickness, disappointment set in. On top of everything else, the longest run of depression i’ve ever had, had turned an already difficult year, into a battle of battles. What else would make for a truly awful year? Chronic pain. Chronic pain often brings forth and exasperates depression, fatigue, and of course pain. The hardships faced this year, for some would turn them a way from God. For me, it draws me near to Him. Does this mean, life isn’t full of frustration, or hardships of emotions. Of course this journey is hard, and full of emotions, but Jesus knows our difficulties. It’s precisely why the hope He offers is so much more important. What is it we fear? “Do not fear those who kill the body but are unable to kill the soul; but rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell. (Matthew 10:28)” In Jesus we not only find our hope, but our peace. “Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful. (John 14:27)”

Have I not seen Jesus in my life? Have I not felt his presence rest upon me as the enemy bared down to murder me? Have I not heard the voice of the Father, breathe new life into my lungs as life drifted away from my body? Faith, is an essential and interesting thing. What was it Jesus said to Thomas? “Jesus said to him, “Because you have seen Me, have you believed? Blessed are they who did not see, and yet believed. (John 20:29)” I have seen, and I have believed. This does not make the journey less difficult, or even emotionally easier, but it does mean I have hope. It means there is rest at the end of this long race I run. Jesus overcame Sin, broke the chains that held us. We will have hardships, and trials, and even at times, we will be broken hearted. Faith in Jesus, and the path set before us is one many will endeavor to walk, but will fall away, run away, or stay away from. Jesus through the word, the Logos, has given us everything we need to traverse the difficult road ahead. We have his Word, the Helper (Holy Spirit) to be our guide. We do not travel alone but the brotherhood (sisterhood) of those who also follow the way. We have the testimony of those who walked before us and left us the eyewitness statements. We have the martyrs who gave up everything for the truth. We have our fellow believers who walk with us today. We have all the tools to manage through this struggle, and the Lord our God, prepares the called, he does not call the equipped. Blessed are the meek, the poor, the gentle, those who mourn, those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, merciful, pure of heart, the peacemakers, the persecuted, and those insulted and persecuted because thy follow Christ. We must have faith in our path and lean not of our own understanding. We must trust the Father in the hardships we face. We must learn from our mistakes and be honest of our sinful actions and deeds. We must hold ourselves accountable and responsible to Gods law, not the law of Man which spits in the face of the Father. As darkness spreads and becomes all the more intense, allow Christ to shine through you ever more brightly. Snuff out the darkness, not of our own doing but that of the Lords work through us. We never know whom watches us, or the purpose of a thing, but we know, through Lord all things are possible. All hope resides in Him. For it is in Him miracles still happen. It is in Him, the lost see the light. It is in Him our actions may bring glory and honor to His name.

Let us lift up the Lord Jesus name and praise him in the storm. Let us worship Him in the rain, the sunshine, the coldest of nights, and the hottest of days. Be of good cheer and rejoice and sing Hallelujah, for even now Emanuel, Emanuel on the highest. Worry not about today, nor tomorrow. Trust in the Lord your God and fight the good fight, till He calls you home.

New Years

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New Years

How did you spend your New Years? Some went to a party with friends or family, others have spent it sick in bed, and myself, I sat up, drinking wine and watching the Rockin’ New Years Eve show. While I would say this year has been uneventful, it wasn’t, just not overly positive. I know for me, I don’t enjoy spending New Years Eve alone. I remember last year I sat in my living room in my old house, all the lights were out, and I listened to music. I barely noticed when the clock struck midnight and rung in the New Year. While I had high hopes 2017 would have gone so much differently then it had, I continue to hope for the future.

When we put our best foot forward sometimes no matter what we do we fall flat on our face. We all have made new years resolutions, and sometimes we are able to achieve them, others we fail, but we can’t achieve anything unless we try. See, you can’t make omelets without breaking some eggs. We cannot build a house without putting forth effort. It takes something to get something, and if we ever want to get we have to give.

As the days of the New Year come and go, much of life is going to be attitude. How are we managing our time, and our gifts we are given? How are we handling the adversity? We will make all kinds of statements about how this year will be different, and when it comes down to it, the only true difference you will have over your life is you. How will your own attitude be? How will you handle the chances within yourself that’s so needed to make the true change? Will you devote more of your to Jesus? Will you spend more time in church, and with loved ones? Will you love more deeply? Will you give more freely? The thing is, nothing else matters if you don’t improve your relationship with God. Everything we have comes from God, and when we have nothing we still have God. When we have everything and we are living a blessed life, we are only blessed because we are dong what the Lord wants from us. If you’re going to make any changes this year, put your nose in your bible more.

If I may, I’d like to offer some advice. Love your wives like tomorrow may end. Love your husbands like you may never see them again. Don’t take your days for granted. Don’t waist the time we have because it’s precious and we never know what the future may hold. In just over a year I’ve lost so much and I never thought 2017 was going to be a year of so much hurt and pain. No matter the pain we have, or the pain we may face, we can never loose sight of the big picture. Love is more powerful then anything else and when we loose sight of that, we truly loose sight of the hope in our lives. Jesus Christ died for us and overcame death to give us hope. If we are to truly have hope in our lives we must believe that anything is possible and tomorrow may bring us anything. We have to make the change within our heart, not with our mind. Make the change and be the change.

 

 

 

 

Be the Hero

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Be the Hero

God is King and as king He needs warriors to fight the forces of darkness. As King the wishes of a king are not requests, but a call to serve. To honor your king and to be obedient you are to serve to the best of your ability. God has endowed each and every one of us with a gift, something that makes us stand out, unique, and something that we are capable of beyond those around us. A hero doesn’t have to wear a cape, but if we are soldiers for Christ our capes may not be seen by us, but they are there. A hero can be anyone who endures, who puts on the brave face every day.

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“What is it to be a hero, look in the mirror and you’ll know. Look into your own eyes and tell me you’re not heroic, that you’ve not endured, or suffered, or lost the things you care about most. And yet here you are….” (Karen Page/ Daredevil)

In this world cowards don’t last long. In this world, some ‘bloody their fists’ (DD) to keep the world safe, some write, some talk, and others remain in the shadows but without them, the ones in the light couldn’t do what they do. Without the every day service and sacrifice of so many people within our church, from those who take out the trash, to the ones in the pulpit, no matter who you are, your service counts. Each and every one of us has the opportunity to spread the Gospel every day. We don’t have to be literary experts to talk about Jesus Christ and what affect Christ has had on our lives.

It doesn’t matter how far you’ve gone down the wrong path, you can turn around any time, and Jesus will be right there waiting for you. You all probably know someone whose just one step away from turning around. How many lives can one person save in eternity by sharing the gospel to friends, coworkers, and even random strangers at times? We all have the ability to be heroes for Christ. When we lay down our old chain and we take up a new name in Christ, we are given the power, the grace, the courage when we need it to look at Satan in the face and laugh. We don’t have to fear the Devil and his lies. We don’t have to fear the persecution of our peers because no matter what happens in this life, we are given the promise of forever. No matter the day, the month, the year you’ve had, good, or bad, the Lord is still working to bless you. “Living is not for the weak” (Arrow) As long as you walk this earth you are not done fighting.

Everyone in this world makes a difference in their own way. Everyone’s contributions to the Lord will never go unnoticed. While man may not see it, or even appreciate it, the Lord is the one opinion that matters. If you live your entire life and you’ve lived with Christ, if you’ve breathed the Holy Spirit, if you’ve suffered the cross, and if you’ve cried to God that you need saving deep down in your soul, you have been broken the chains of death. The weak, the small, the big and the tall, Jesus calls to all.

Look in the mirror and tell me you haven’t endured. Look in the mirror and tell me you haven’t survived this far. No matter what you’ve been through you made it. You’ve overcome hardships, and pain, and while those scars will forever be with you, tomorrow the pain will be a little less. No one, and nothing can ever make the scars go away, but in some way you can use those scars. God doesn’t let anything go to waist. You have been given life, given the breath and the strength to carry on through whatever you’ve made it through.

I’ve seen friends die, and I’ve seen friends fall. I’ve seen friends get lost, and ones who’ve found the way. I’ve seen friends suffer through loss, and rape, and those who’ve faced death. There’s one thing they all have in common, they all woke up this morning. When you have the strength to get up and step back into the world for another day there’s always hope because God is still working on whatever pain you have. You’re stronger then you know because God is still standing with you. When you hurt God hurts, and when you cry God cries. Heroes stand tall and sometimes they fall, but no matter what, a hero never stops fighting the fight. Your heart may be broken, your bones may fail you, and your heart may often heavy as bricks but your life is worth more to God then you can ever know.

I’ve been taken to the woodshed by life more then once. I’ve faced death and I’ve faced loss. I have seen the Devil, I have seen war, I have experienced the worst kinds of loss, and yet here I am. I have sinned, I have made mistakes, I have hurt people I love, and I have been in my own purgatory of my mind, and yet, here I am. God has forgiven, and strengthened me. If you can stand you can fight. If you can see you can fight. If you can hear you can fight. Stand for the Lord and you can hold your head high. If you can see God in your heart then you can hold true when the Devil attacks your heart. If you can hear the Angels calls you can drown out the whispers and lies of Satan. Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”

 When the skies fall down around you, when the world you know it is gone, remember that you are still breathing. No matter the storm, or the fight that may lie ahead, the King of all is still in control. If you’re still breathing there’s always hope. Faith is hard, but to trust in the Lord is sometimes all we have left. Let God be in control of your life. Let God be the star in which you guide your ship. Those who stand to fight along side Christ are the heroes of today, like the heroes of old we are in heavenly company. Like Moses, and David, Joseph, and Esther, the Apostils and Job, Daniel, and Stephen, we serve the Lord with our hearts, and we will one day walk with angelic company.

We all have the capacity for both great good, or terrible evil. We all have a choice who we are, and how we live, so if you had to make a choice, and you do, what side are you on? Be a hero for Christ. Look in the mirror and be the change. Let go of the selfish love, let go of the hate, the doubt, and with the Armor of God, don the heroes cape and join the greats of the bible. “Start with the man in the mirror… If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make that change.”(Michael Jackson)

 Let the regret and worries of this year pass away. Let them fade from memory and remain in the present, and prepare for the future. Let God be in control and “Lead us not into temptation, and deliver us from evil.”

 

The Will to Live

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The Will to Live

The bullet goes through him and bounces around on the inside. He looks at death and stands face to face. The world is a dark place full of scary monsters that always want to get you down. Life isn’t usually fair, and it’s not nice, but life isn’t about the lollipops and 24/7 fun. Life is about growth, and to grow you should expect failure. “The greatest teacher, failure is.” (Yoda) This isn’t just some Hollywood magic, but scripture brought to the big screen. Romans 5:3-5 “More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” We fall so we can learn to get back up. We fail so we can learn to succeed. We crumble so we can reach towards God and ask for the strength to carry on. We look to God for answers when we don’t understand. We draw strength through our faith in the Lord above.

We sometimes find ourselves just floating in the ocean, not swimming, not going anywhere, but we aren’t truly living our lives if we’re standing still. We have to find a way to push through the glass. “Forward… Always… Always… Forward” (Luke Cage) We are often like an old record with a scratch in it, we just loop the same few seconds over and over in our lives. Traumas can do that to a person. We live, we wake up every day, but what do we do with it? In 1 Peter 5:10 “And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.” When we suffer we don’t want to stay in our suffering, but sometimes something gets broken. It’s difficult to repair the damage sometimes. Sometimes we don’t know how, and we try to fix it all by ourselves. The thing is, we aren’t alone, we don’t have to do it by ourselves. The problem is when we run from the pain instead of embracing it and learning to live with the pain by being in control of it, instead of letting it control us. John 16:33 “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

When we don’t know how to do something we learn, we teach ourselves, or we are taught. We move through life learning new things, often every single day. If we have done had to do something how are we expected to know what to do or how? Many people consider therapy to be a sign of weakness, but I challenge that notion. When we struggle with trauma, or something incredibly hurtful, we don’t know how to handle it. We suffer through it and it often damages aspects of our day-to-day life. We push those we love away, our job performance suffers, we recluse yourself and struggle to find the balance needed to be productive, and healthy. Romans 8:18 “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.” I would say that those who turn to cutting, suicide, or substance abuse forgot long ago how to reach out. Are we reaching for the Lord in our time of sorrow? Are we reaching to people who can help us? Sometimes in our own suffering we can’t see through the fog of life. “Living is not for the weak.” (Arrow)

2 Corinthians 4:8-10 “We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.” Using the tools we have by finding people in life who are willing to help us is part of living. Again we aren’t always taught how to do something, and that isn’t just exclusive to fixing cars, dry walling a house, or dealing with extreme physiological stresses. Don’t suffer alone, because you aren’t. God will always give you someone to turn to, someone to help you, even if you must find it in the most unlikely of places. The shadow’s of doubt and dismay may lurk behind every angle but when you look to the snow, you won’t see anything but your own footprints. While the Devil is nipping at your heals trying to bury you in the ice, God’s Angels are always there watching over you. You only say the word and you putting your faith in the Lord you will be renewed and strengthened. Psalm 91:2-4 “I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust. Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence. He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.”

 

I Am One With The Force, The Force Is With Me

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I Am One With The Force, The Force Is With Me

Being a child of the King I know where my worth is. Knowing I belong to God sets me free in so many ways from the bonds of darkness I once lived in. Being a child of the King gives us forever hope. No matter what happens to us in this life we will always have eternal salvation in the end. Romans 8:31 “What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” No matter how bad things seem to be we have hope. Psalm 71:14 “But I will hope continually and will praise you yet more and more.”

The Devil will try again and again to break you, and to bring you to your knees in defeat. The Devil wants us to fail, he wants us to step away from God, to blame Him for our sorrow. The Devil will try and sway us, to persuade us that the darkness is better then the light. The Devil wants to try and hide in the shadows, that our sin if no one knows is okay, and it’s better to indulge and be free of worry. That’s when you look at the Devil and respond “Every word that you just said – is wrong.” (Luke Skywalker) We have to have faith in the Lord. We have to have faith the lure of the Dark Side is not stronger, that we can overcome the pull and remain in the light. Ephesians 6:13 “Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm.”

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As long as God is with me, I know I am one with the force for good. I cannot be defeated so long as I keep God in my heart. When you feel as if you’re about to crumble under the pressures of this world close your eyes, take a deep breath and feel the light of the world inside you. Feel it flowing through you. The Holy Spirit is all around us, it is inside of us, and when you open yourself to it, it can help guide you through any struggle you may encounter. There is no greater force in this universe, but the force and power of Christ. I know I am one with the force, and the force is with me.

Circle the Flame

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Circle the flame

Sometimes we get caught in our own prisons. We are drawn to the pain when that’s all we know anymore. We circle it like a moth to a flam. Unable to pull away but we either need to pull back or we get burnt.

When we spend so much time in struggles sometimes the struggle is all we know. I’ve seen it in soldiers who go back over and over again to war. The old phrase goes a war junkie. Sadly that expression isn’t far from the truth. It’s not war you fall in love with, it’s the feeling of purpose, it’s the feeling of being needed, and it’s the adrenalin high you get during your missions you eventually get addicted too. Many soldiers when they return find themselves idle and unsure of what to do with themselves. They feel like something is missing in their life and they seek the excitement of their lives, the brotherhood that’s now long gone. Many people find themselves getting into extreme sports when they return. Sports like speed racing, skydiving, bunji jumping, rock climbing, anything they can find to get that euphoria that adrenalin makes you feel.

There’s also a sense of belonging that subsides when you are away from your brothers and sisters. A connection with people that once you are out of the military is surprisingly hard to come by. As for myself, I’ve searched for many years now to find a new group of friends to replace the military family I once had, and instead all I’ve received is isolation. Making new friends isn’t easy anymore. Finding common ground with people isn’t easy, and sometimes it takes a long while to build a connection.

There’s a line from my favorite show Arrow “Sooner or later, we all go through a crucible. I’m guessing yours was that island. Most believe there are two types of people who go into a crucible. The ones who become stronger from the experience and survive it, and the ones who die. But there’s a third type. The ones who learn to love the fire and choose to stay in their crucible because it’s easier to embrace the pain when it’s all you know anymore.” (Sabastian Blood) I myself have always found it hard to relate to others after my time in the service. Though the missions were hell, and there were days I hated life, it seemed strange to return to life when I no longer recognized that life.

We in the military spend so much time training to be someone else, something else, but when it comes time to returning to civilian life it’s only a matter of days from soldier to civilian. Learning how to be a civilian again for some happens quickly, for others never at all. Sadly for many veterans the return to civilian life is so traumatic it eventually ends with suicide. Christmas time is hard on veterans. So many are suffering with loss, with PTSD, with homelessness, and while many of us are enjoying our morning of trees, music, gifts, and warmth, many veterans are just trying to find their one meal for the day and a warm place to lay their head. A matter of perspective to know that while we should enjoy our time away from the fire, there are some who are still in the flames.

We cannot circle the flames forever. At some point we need to break free and move forward. We don’t want to get caught in the burning flames so we need to find a way out. We cannot stay in the crucible forever and we need to learn to focus ourselves better. God expects us to fight the fight, and also expects us to love and give. As man it’s hard to juggle sometimes, so we must turn to the words God left for us to find our course. Romans 13:4 “For he is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God’s wrath on the wrongdoer.” We must fight when we must fight, but when it’s time for peace we must learn to also be the peacemaker. We must love all the time, and be just. When we find ourselves focusing on what God wants us to do, we will find we can be far more adaptable. Listen to the voice of truth and find your path.

If you’re a veteran and your circling the fire and you cant seem to break free, find help. Don’t try to do it alone. It’s a dangerous game staying in your crucible forever; instead find your escape back into life. Let yourself live, and let yourself love again. There is life after war, there is life after tragedy. For families who’ve lost their loved ones, for wives who’ve lost their husbands, for kids who’ve lost their parents, life will move on. Don’t let the tragedies you’ve suffered been in vain, instead use it to help others, find a way to share your story, and inspire others to persevere and move forward. Tomorrow will come if we are ready or not. Embrace it, and never forget tomorrow God’s still on the throne.

 

Broken and a year of penance September 18th

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Broken and a year of penance September 18th

We feel broken and battered. The days that pass feel like an eternity and the weeks that pass are a struggle to rationalize the life lived, and why so much pain has befallen the young man. All his life he wanted to feel needed. A life that till then he had been left, he had been hurt, and he had been betrayed by those who were closest to him. His fear would get the better of him. The day came when the women he loved would walk away, she would choose another over him and the life he had worked so hard to build would fracture and crumble to the ground like a sand castle against the waves.

The fear and panic that took hold of him that fateful day would reverberate through his entire life and just like a ripple in the water, every single corner of his life would become distorted. He would loose the girl, he’d loose his job, he’d loose his closest friends, he’d loose his credibility, he’d loose his house, and when the dust settled even a year later his life would still be in shambles. He would struggle to gain ground, but the whole he dug himself would be slick and the mud soaked hole would swallow him whole.

He panicked and in a moment of weakness his fight would finally come to an end. He panicked at the thought of loosing his love. He couldn’t see a happy life without her. It was his fault and he screwed up. The judgment and punishment for that he decided for himself was beyond anything anyone would ever have dreamt for him. He faced the punishment in the wake of his devotion and couldn’t stand to loose someone else he loved with all his heart. Every day he relives the horrible tragedy. Every day he begs for forgiveness for what she saw, for what she heard. Every day he asks for forgiveness, but the truth is, he wonders if he’s been able to forgive himself. How could he live with himself for the pain he caused. Just like the stone into the water sent out the waves in his own life, so does the stone affect those close to him also. The tragedy touched the lives of his friends, his family, his church, his job, everyone that knew him now faced the unfortunate truth. He was weak. His weakness had no valid excuse. His need for punishment, his desire to endure the hardships in the wake of his own admission of guilt for everything that had transpired, he became the very thing he fought so hard against, Sin. In an act of pure cowardice, he became the sin eater for not only himself but for the women he loved.

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Could he suffer enough for the both of them and take that pain to the grave? While on the surface he played out the exact moment in his head, and in his head he saw survival, deep down beneath the surface he had to know, even if only in the subconscious that his life could end right there on those very steps. The truth didn’t matter at the time. He felt nothing but hallow, nothing but despair, and in that moment without hope all sense of rationalism, all sense of hope, of worth, ripped through him in the symbolism of the bullet. The hole physically made symbolized the struggle within. The near total blood loss, the breaking of bone, the damage done by something so small, so innocent looking, would be the agent of death. The agonizing pain, the sharpness of fractured bones, the suck of air from his lungs, the energy that gives life now laying in a pool on the ground. No longer just a symbol he had given up all he was for all of her. How could one man feel so much for one woman? The answer was in Christ for the church. Perverted as it may have been, he loved her so much, his failure, his punishment, his taking the sins he had committed, all the sins she had committed upon himself, and in a moment of sheer emptiness the bullet symbolized the self-Flagellant: “a person who scourges himself or herself as a public penance” A self display of pain as penance for wrong doing. An old archaic practice that in a moment of desperation became as prevalent as it once was in the 14th century. No longer bound by reason the sum of a life hidden, expunged from history, directed the storm to the cross through the heart and leave nothing left in it’s wake but destruction.

Sadly time cannot be undone, and the decisions made are cemented in horror and tragedy. Memories can be haunting and painful but they don’t have to destroy us. Psalms 34:18 “The LORD [is] nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.” No matter the struggle we face we have to keep the faith. The faith is all he has when the world beat him down to the brink of death. When a man would choose a fate worse then death to take on the pain and suffering of himself and loved ones, he has no where to go but up. When looking at the end the only end we can consider is that of Revelation 21:4 “And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.” The end of our day is the end of our own pain. The end of time is also the end of suffering. As in all things the truth is often the most obvious. “Living is not for the weak.” (Anatoli, Arrow)

He’s not forgiven by those he hurt, and still the shot rings loudly in the dark at night. The mistakes made cannot be undone, and as he wishes every day he could take it back, every day he can’t a little piece of him suffers from the fate he brought upon himself. Every day the scars itch and the leg tingles as a daily reminder of the mistake that will haunt him forever. Every day he must wake with the aches and pains in the shoulder that remind him he’s still alive. The screams at night still haunt him, and the blood that still clings to the dog tags he wore that day. His blood, the blood that was spilt to take upon the wrongs of the world he knew, and so desperately clung too. The reminders every day of his failures hold most evident the new and daily truth, he has the power to intervene in others lives. Does this tragedy have to end with nothing but pain or suffering or can he use it to reach out to others? Can one man make a difference in the lives of others? Every day he lives to try and do one thing, to pay his penance. He can’t do it as himself so he turned himself into someone else, something else. He became a symbol. He doesn’t hide behind the mask, he embraces the darkness that was within, and he uses it in a force to enact change in others. Perhaps one day that mask may come off and he’d do enough good to make up for all the bad. The works to craft an identity to focus the thoughts, influenced by life, influenced by the light, a penance to right the wrongs.

 

 

 

 

Finding my Black Canary

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Finding my Black Canary

Do many of you often wonder where you other half is? As I have often wondered what the next step in my life may be, I question the range of relationships. While I’ve wondered why the women I have loved have decided to move on with their lives and leave the life built behind them, I consistently struggle with the reason for this particular path. While the why isn’t the focus here the focus is how do we move forward? Sometimes we love and loose, how do we begin to fix our broken hearts?

Psalm 34:18 “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”

Psalm 147: 3 “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

Romans 8:39 “nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

1 John 4:10 “In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.”

Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

 When we are down and broken we know that the Lord is with us and our crushed spirits. We can only rely on the spirit to pick us back up. The Lord starts to heal us the instant the stab to our heart happens. Just because wrongs are done, and they may be done by us, or to us, neither wrong can separate us from the Lord. Jesus is hand in hand with us no matter what. The God above, the creator of heaven and earth, forgives our sins and it is the love of God that give us strength. We are nothing without God, and without God’s grace. Everything we have is a gift. Either God gives us our gifts, or sends us along our path. Either God sends us our pain, or allows our pain to happen. No matter what the case may be, all things happen with the blessing of God. God only allows us to travel a path as long as He deems fit. Sin will only be tolerated in our lives for so long before we will be punished by our Father. How long will we blatantly Sin in our lives before we realize we are wrong and fix it?

Psalm 71:20 “You who have made me see many troubles and calamities will revive me again; from the depths of the earth you will bring me up again.” No matter how far we fall, no matter how deeply we hurt, God will lift us up again and help us heal. We aren’t meant to be alone. Isaiah 43:2 “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.” No matter our situation we shouldn’t allow ourselves to become overwhelmed. We need to learn to let go of our sorrows and allow the Lord to take care of them. We must endure our crucibles to survive them. We must learn that our gifts will far outweigh our pain and suffering.

For me I believed I had found my Black Canary to my Green Arrow. I believed I had found the woman who completed me. I never wanted anyone else. I felt in my days like I was missing something, like I needed friends to complete what I perceived as missing. The fact was I wasn’t truly looking for friends the truth was I was still dealing with the ramifications of multiple posttraumatic events in my life. Loosing the woman I loved, the woman I would have done anything for and fought to give anything I could. There were many reasons she left, most of which I don’t know, and even to this day don’t understand. However, as broken as I am, I feel badly for her. As I pray one day she may remember the spark that led us together to start with, allow us to rekindle what was damaged. Anything is possible if you believe in Christ. While I have struggled with my ability to move on I have to have faith in the unknown. I believe that no matter the time that goes by if two people are meant to be together life will somehow draw them back together. Love is undying, love is forever, but everything is in God’s time. Some day I will find my woman in a mask to match my own. One day I will find a woman who will don the mask and put on the jacket. I will keep the faith as all of you out there have lived through loss and divorce. Divorce doesn’t have to be the end. Trust in the Lord and in Him your future will be, as the sun shall rise. We must learn patience and in that patience trust that in God’s time someone will come into your life. Remember to put God first, and always. Believe in the Lord and don’t forget to pray. I myself struggle with the patience of such things. Even with that struggle I pray and know that prayer is important in our daily relationship with the Lord our Father. 1 John 5:14-15 “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.” Have trust in our prayers being heard for Abba is with us always.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Armor

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The Armor

Ephesians 6:10-18 The Whole Armor of God “10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. 11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil.12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. 14 Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. 16 In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one;17 and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, 18 praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints,”

 As I have considered all things in my life as of late, I find myself struggling to find inspiration. Not surprising since my day revolves around my favorite show (Arrow), my only Xbox one game (Destiny) and loving on my puppies. With very little worldly influence I’ve struggled to maintain my daily post. The only days I have not been able to post are a few in which I was nowhere near Internet service for reasons far beyond my control. Today I received a trinket I got in the mail, something I have chosen to add to my collection of things to keep with me to remind me of what I need in my life on a daily basis. Most devout Christians can give you their favorite verse if not by heart, then by verse number. With everything I’ve gone through in my life there’s not doubt or question why The Armor is by far my verse of choice. The soldier in me, the warrior heart, the battles I’ve had to fight and endure, the Armor reminds me every day that life is a cold and often an unforgiving, dark and desolate place. Not saying there’s isn’t hope and love within the fallen world, but this message is about that war, the war that wages on every single day, and the one single piece of hope we have, Jesus Christ. “Living is not for the weak.” (Arrow) The Armor 1

Although it may sound on the surface my position is one of pessimism, and it may sound like I don’t have faith, believe me, the truth is it’s because of my faith, it’s because of my worldly experiences I know this isn’t anything but the absolute truth. When you look around, when you watch the news, listen to how people talk to one another in the grocery store, the proof is abundant and incontrovertible. The Devil has woven his lies in nearly every aspect of our lives. What we watch on TV, the music we listen to, the teaching in school, the laws we pass, every bit of our life now has influence of Lucifer himself. We are told by Jesus himself that John 16:33 “These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” With that promise we are also promised eternal salvation. Psalm 23:1-4 “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. 3 He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. 4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” How do we make it to the Kingdom? How do we manage through our daily lives? The answer is both simple, yet some days the hardest thing you’ll have to endure. The Armor.

The Helmet of Salvation: This Roman piece that Paul writes about is the protection of our mind. The Devil whispers in our ears and tries to get us to actively sin. The Devil tries to get us to question God, to make decisions that make us feel good, but like many drugs that sensation of feel good is only an illusion. It’s important to remember the thoughts we have, the decisions we make must be driven and guided by God. We must not conform to the standards of the world, because the world is a fallen place filled with hate, anger, lust, and is all about self. Resist by keeping your mind on the Lord, take the Helmet and keep it strapped on tight to resist the temptations put in front of you every day.

Belt Of Truth: This is the first piece mentioned in the Gospel of Paul. This is because of what truth he’s referring too. The Truth of God, the truth of Jesus Christ is above all the most important. If Christ weren’t the truth, the way, the path to Heaven, nothing else would matter. The Belt holds the sword but also holds back the cloak in preparation for battle.

The Breastplate of Righteousness: This item protects the trunk of a soldier. This protects all the vital organs and more importantly the heart. The Armor is a thick piece of leather given to every follower of Christ. This protects the Christian from the lies and deceits aimed at the heart and soul of the Christian. The breastplate protects the heart, which is the center of the emotions. Love, and hate, empathy verses revenge, these are the feelings targeted by the Devil. Satan wants to harden our hearts; He wants us to have a stance of hatred and anger, a bitterness that if we aren’t careful can spread like a cancer once it takes root in our hearts. If our heart is infected we could in fact loose a great deal of ourselves.

Shoes of the Gospel of Peace: In the day’s Paul wrote the letter to Ephesus, the Roman soldiers wore spiked sandals. These sandals where designed to dig in when the enemy tried to force them back. When the winds of the storm are strong and when they would blow down almost any man, digging in and holding your ground makes you a Soldier for Christ.

Shield of Faith: In the days of the Roman Empire this soldier would often carry a shield, and this shield was large enough to completely hide behind. This shield would protect one soldier from incoming arrows, and attacks by swords and other weapons. When wet these shields would extinguish flaming arrows. Together a group of warriors with these shields could come together and be completely enclosed in a barrier. Our shield is strong when our faith is strong, but that faith is stronger when other warriors for Christ join us. Hold onto that shield and use it to withstand all the attacks and flaming arrows from the Devil.

Sword of the Spirit: The sword is the word of God. A sword is both a weapon for attack and defense. In all times of attack offensively, or the defensive, we must train with our weapon. Training with a sword takes time, dedication, and patience. We must learn the word and use it effectively to battle the satanic attacks Christians are under daily.

2 Corinthians 10:4-5 “4 For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. 5 We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,” We obviously don’t wear armor every day, but what we do have is a spiritual armor, a spiritual war that’s being fought every day and every day we must remain on the alert to the spiritual attacks.

In all things we do in this world we are faced with choices, some days we are left with impossible decisions to make. We are always going to face battles; we are always going to be warriors as long as we follow Christ. We know that most of our struggles will be of a spiritual nature. We know that what’s in peoples hearts and minds is either a force for good or evil, and we know the source of that good and evil is God or Satan. Knowing the armor and how to wear it, training by being in the word day in and day out is the only effective way to be a good soldier. Every good soldier knows to do PMCS Preventative, Maintenance, Checks and Services. Soldiers will check their equipment, clean their weapons, sharpen their knives, and be ready for combat at a moments notice. We must read, and understand scripture, know the enemy and how He works. We must know how to defend and fight back against the evil schemes that will come our way.

As I have posted in the past, I find it just as relevant today as it was then, a saying that’s on a shirt I recently got. “The Devil whispered in my ear you’re not strong enough to withstand the storm.” Today I whispered in the Devil’s ear “I AM THE STORM.” Are you strong enough in faith to withstand the storm that will, not might come your way? Be ready because as this world continues to fall, you don’t want to be caught unawares. As the military slogan goes, ‘Fit to fight’.

 

Alsahm السهم -(The Arrow)

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Alsahm السهم -(The Arrow)

Lately I’ve been thinking about the darkness. In one of my favorite books growing up called The Hatchet the young protagonist is a survivor of a plane crash in the middle of the woods. All he really has is a hatchet that was given to his as a gift. A few days after the crash he learns he can use the hatchet on the stone to create sparks, thus being able to light a fire. Growing up I was a big fan of D&D or Dungeons and Dragons for those who don’t speak nerd. One of my favorite things to do was to light my arrows on fire before launching them at the enemy. It was always a little extra if it hit. The plus side was it always lit up the room of the dungeon we always found ourselves in. Don’t we wish life would be that easy? Wouldn’t it be nice if the fog of war was truly lifted with just a single matchstrike of an arrow and all of a sudden the ghosts and goblins that are on the prowl around us are visible for the entire world to see?

If the saying is true about God using us like arrows then the example of drawing the bow pulling the arrow backwards, soon you will be launched forward. One of the things I struggle with is patience. This is a surprising thing because I’m also an archer and a long-range shooter. Both require patience. Since I am patient in regards to that, one would think that in regards to other aspects of my life I would be too, and of course, without question they’d be wrong. I am not a patient man when it comes to matters of the heart, or matters of fixing the things I see are wrong. I have never liked being single, and I’ve never liked knowing about a problem and not fixing it there on the spot. Patience is something we are taught in scripture and it’s something we often need to be reminded of. Romans 12:12 “Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer;” Not only does it say to be patient; it says to rejoice in it. Were supposed to be happy in our pursuit in patience. Galatians 6:9 “And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.” No matter how long it may take, we should not grow tired in our times of trails, and we should not grow tired while we do good works. For it is that time that we must remain patient and vigilant for our time of grace is but a blink in the eye for the Father. We cannot force change for it is not our change to force. The only true gifts are those of the Fathers graces to us.

The Arrow a symbol of moving forward, flying in a direction aimed by the archer. The essence of patience, of speed and of accuracy is the arrow. The symbol of the arrow has been used throughout the ages. The arrow goes back to Greek and Roman mythology as a sign of strength and speed. Alsahm or The Arrow in Arabic. While in ancient China the arrow was a symbol that hung in the front of the house telling the world of the birth of a son. The arrow is a symbol of power, of direction and of survival. The earliest arrows as they are also used today were used to hunt and to take the life of an animal, which provided strength for the tribe in nourishment. As I have taken up the pseudonym Arrow preacher, I too provide nourishment to my flock but spiritual in nature. The Arrow’s long lasting symbolism in human society is so powerful, so beautiful, I cannot overlook something so important, so beautiful in my own life. The arrow on a compass pointed north, symbolizing the direction of God, we must always keep our arrow in line, and we must always remember which way to go. Draw back your bow, take aim, and as you fly towards your next chapter in life, remember to let God be the one to set your glide path.