Tag: army

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? 

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WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? 

Growing up I wanted to be nothing but a soldier. In fact, I wanted to be a fighter pilot, but early in my life I found myself pushing to be a soldier. The day before I graduated from high school I received a letter from the Marine Corps, denying my entry to the Corps. The following day I went to graduation not knowing what my future would bring. I found myself listing like a ship upon the rough sea. The storm bellowed around me, not knowing what my tomorrow would hold. After the death of my dear friend, I found myself even more at odds with my future, and after a few poor life choices, I found myself home. After several months back home, I ran into a military recruiter at Meijer grocery store. Re-apply he said. So, within a few weeks, that’s what I did. After walking into the recruiting office, the first place I found myself was the Air Force. I set up my date to go to MEPS, and while there I had a great day and night. I did decently well, but I was not happy with the possible job opportunities. I didn’t feel any of them where my calling. I did not want to be a police officer for the military, (at that time). So, when I got back to town, my recruiter didn’t meet me there. Frustrated, and upset, I marched right into the Army Recruiting office, and spoke to them. On the 15-minute drive home I had narrowed down the jobs I wanted. Within a day on the internet, I narrowed down to one, Cavalry Scout. I was determined to make this a reality in my life. I went back to MEPS, and having to write an essay why I felt I would make a good scout, and why i deserved it, I won my position. I would be a soldier, and a cavalry scout, reconnaissance and surveillance, counter intelligence on the battle field, and a shadow. 

I made it through training, with a few bumps and bruises. I traveled to S. Korea where I wanted my first duty station. Then I deployed to Iraq, which was a surprise to us all. A warfighter, a protector of those who couldn’t protect themselves. Everything I learned in basic training was put to the test on the battle field, the combat theater of Ar-Ramadi, Iraq. I was not doing advanced recon, instead, I was kicking in doors, doing raids, snatch and grabs, intel gathering, observation posts, and sniper/ambush missions, among other things. My dream was being fulfilled. I was a combat soldier, and I had a long future in the military, (if I survived deployment). Sadly, my knee didn’t survive deployment and my 20-year plan was shattered, along with the cartilage in my knee. That knee injury, and subsequent surgery would eventually get me medically discharged. Leaving me with the question, what did I want to be when I grew up. 

After years of searching, living abroad in Germany, being a cashier at the on base gas station, then working in retail again, I would eventually become a security officer. I worked extraordinarily hard at it, and would be given the security officer of the year award for both the district and state. The pinnacle of my successful career. Yet, a year later, I would be let go after having a major trauma in my life. The loyalty was gone, a thank you for saving the life of a student, would mean nothing, a year later. Losing everything in the divorce, I found myself once again asking, since my FBI career would be over before it ever began, what did I want to be when I grew up. 

I listed again, tossed upon the waves, uncertain of my future. I found myself finishing my degree, still working in security, doing good work, but not where I wanted to be. Security was coming to a close in my life as I just, didn’t want to do it anymore. But, i went to work as an assessment counselor at an assessment center for at risk juveniles. The job was hard, but I was struck down by a difficult supervisor, and then later, physically struck by a youth. I was seriously injured and I had decided after the injury’s recovery time, not to return, thus ending my working career. Medical retirement seemed to be my future. I was making enough on my disability; work was something I was doing because I wanted to help people. So, I suffered through the emotional abuse at work, until, the job ended in my serious injury from one of the kids. What would I do when I grew up. 

After a while, I begun getting connected to Wounded Warrior Project. The Odyssey program would lay the foundation to what would eventually have saved my life. The first brick laid on my path, and shortly after, I would go to Cape Cod on a Soldier Ride. During the event we had a nice dinner on a train. While having conversations with one of the other soldiers, we discussed my path. He was a chaplain in the military and during our conversation he made the remark, ‘Have you ever thought of going to school for ministry?’ I laughed and adamantly said no. He just smiled and said OKAY. He went on to explain there were lots of job in ministry, not just the pastor, after i said I didn’t want to be a pastor, and I knew God didn’t want me to be one either. It wasn’t long after that I began having conversations with a friend of mine, and I would have the next large step laid before me during a ‘Lamlighter’ event. God was speaking to me, I, at the time, wasn’t listening very well. 

Within 6 months I begun training with the associate pastor at my church, and by October of 2020 I would become an Ordained Reverend by a counsel of both pastors and deacons from my church and others in the area. I knew by that point that I wanted to help others, and to disciple, and minister to the niche groups, nerds and veterans. Since then, while my dream location has yet to come to pass, I continue to reach out to the veteran community and the nerd community to offer my support. I have also continued to grow both this outreach, the blog, and the YouTube channel in which I speak twice a week. Currently on the channel at the time of this writing, I am preaching/teaching through the book of John. I had no idea ministry was what God had planned for me. Even though I’m retired, and I do not get paid for what I do, I love what I am doing. I love preaching and teaching God’s word, and I love studying it. While I often wish the channel would get more attention, I know that those who read or watch my content, hopefully are being blessed by the word of God. I feel as long as I continue to preach and teach faithfully, the Lord will continue to protect, and bless me and my family. 

Finding what you are meant to do isn’t always easy. Using your gifts, and talents, and passions, God has given to you, for your work is vital to your overall happiness in life. Joy is found in the Lord, and through the selfless service we offer to God, we may find our place that God wants for us. I had never thought about being in ministry, except for the priest in my young life making a comment about it once, that he felt I was destined for ministry, even if it wasn’t being a priest. While my life is one of poverty, physical hardships, and sometimes lonely, I do have joy in the Lord. I may not always get what I want, but the Lord always provides what I need. In just the recent months the Lord’s presence has shown brightly. Having saved my life through multiple miracles, then providing enormous financial assistance, and being with me while I experienced immense spiritual warfare, God is truly the all-powerful, all knowing, all sovereign, all loving God. How could God save a wretch like me? How could God ordain me, a sinner, a fallen creature, grace. God always knew where He wanted me, I just ran from the calling He had for me. I couldn’t face the life He wanted for me, it wasn’t glamorous, it didn’t pay well (I’m still not getting paid), but the rewards are beyond comprehension. When you have joy because of what you do, and you know you are serving a very big God, you have what you need. God provides my needs, and sometimes my wants, rewarding me for my service. I do not do this for what I’ve been given. This is by no means a prosperity gospel, because if the Lord were to take it all away today, I’d still preach because of what He’s done for me. He saved me, and that’s all there is. Going from a dead man in my wretched sins, to saved, to living, to now being headed for a very real heaven, a place I do not deserve to go, and a place I can’t work to get into, is something I could never deserve. What I deserve is Hell. I deserve to go to a very real Hell, because of my sins. I have committed cosmic treason, breaking the commandments set forth for us. I could never wash off that mud myself, but the blood of a Holy Jesus Christ, could. When those who set foot before God, before Jesus say, look what we did for you, and He replies be gone with you, the motive of why you were doing such things is laid bare for all of Heaven to see. We would never deserve Heaven, and therefore it’s not about what we did, but rather, “I am not worthy to be here oh Holy one.” “I am a sinner, and I deserve death.” Acknowledging our sins, and asking for mercy and forgiveness is all we should say. Jesus is King, He is the Lord of Lords, and we must believe, repent, and obey His commands. I want to be a good Christian when I grow up. I want to put a smile upon God’s face, and know that I am doing what the Lord wants of me. It was a long road to get here, but I am nowhere near where I thought I would be in my teenage years. My father died early in life, he was in his 40’s. I never knew him, and I wish he could see the man his son turned out to be. I wish I knew if my father would have been proud of me, proud of the man I became. Sadly, I will never know, and finding anyone who knew him has been hard. I don’t know what it’s like to have someone be proud of me, to hear it growing up was not part of my life. I only hope, that where I am right now, and what I’m doing right now, my Lord, Jesus Christ is proud of me. Am I serving well? Am I sharing the truth as He would want me too? My ABBA Father, I just hope I am doing what my Lord requires of me. I want my father to be proud of me when I grow up. I want to serve my Lord God when I grow up. I want to continue to be a vocal Christian when I grow up.

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Why Do You Keep Fighting? 

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Why Do You Keep Fighting? 

“Matrix Revolutions”

Agent Smith: Why Mr Anderson, Why, Why, Why do you do it? Why, why get up? Why keep fighting? You believe your fighting for something, for more than your survival, can you tell me what it is, do you even know? Is it freedom or truth, perhaps peace, could it be for love? Illusions Mr. Anderson, vagaries of perception, temporary constructs of a feeble human intellect trying desperately to justify an existence that is without meaning or purpose. And all of them is as artificial as the Matrix itself. Although, only a human mind could invent something as incipit as love. You must be able to see it Mr Anderson, you must know it by know, you can’t win, it’s pointless to keep fighting. WHY MR ANDERSON, WHY DO YOU PERSIST?” 

Neo: Because I choose too. 

“Pilgrims Progress”

As Christian journeys to the beautiful Celestial City, he first must pass through the valley of humiliation. There he meets the evil prince Apollyon. He said “I have given him my faith, and sworn my allegiance to him; how then can I go back from this, and not be hanged as a traitor?” 

After a long battle, Apollyon delivered a near fatal blow to Christian. There, Christian lay beaten to the ground. As Apollyon was about to deliver the final, fatal blow, “Christian nimbly reached out his hand for his sword, and caught it saying “Rejoice not against me, O mind enemy; when I fall, I shall arise” (Micah 7:8) 

In these two stories, an over arching question is raised. In the Matrix, it’s why do you fight. In Pilgrims Progress, its why do you give your loyalty to the King of the celestial city? Much like the two questions raised, we also face this exact question in our own life. After becoming a Christian, it’s one of the first things you are met with, an onslaught of attacks from a cunning, and powerful enemy. In my life, I have often found myself beaten to the ground like Christian was in his fight against Satan/Apollyon. It’s in this moment, I often think of Satan asking me that very question, “Why Jacob, why do you persist?!” That’s the question we must all answer in our long fight in this war. When times are hard, and we’ve been beaten to the ground by illness, addiction, sinful pleasures, or just life’s hardships, life can be pretty hard on us sometimes. Some, obviously more than others, but the reality is, all who chose to pick up their cross and follow Christ, will find themselves as soldiers in this war. The phrase used commonly in todays military, attributed to General William Sherman of the American Civil War, “War is hell.” Having been to war, I whole heartedly agree. 

As I wrote recently, “One day I will be recalled from this duty station. One day, the Lord will say my watch is over. One day Jesus will tell me, well done soldier, now rest. One day I will take up residence where I truly belong. One day, I will see what I’ve been fighting for this whole time. I long for that day, but for now, I will serve God faithfully here.” (The Week My Heart Stop, By The Arrow Preacher, https://thearrowpreacher.com/2024/12/07/the-week-my-heart-stopped/) I fight because of love. I fight because Jesus loved me enough to die for me on the cross. I endure hardships because Christ endured hardships. I take the beating because the Apostles, like Christ, took the beatings. I fight the war, because Paul said “Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” (Eph 6:11-12) We were given a promise that at the end of our fight we would be given a crown, but we fight not for a crown, or a mansion in Heaven, we fight because it’s the right thing to do. We fight because the powers of darkness spread like that of Mordor upon Middle Earth. We fight because we have loved ones in harms way. We fight because we do not wish to see those whom we love perish to the darkness of the pit, where fire and brimstone reign, where no water exists to quench the thirst, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. We fight for love, and this love is eternal. We fight because we love, because Jesus first loved us. Poor Christian was beaten down to the ground, about to be ended with one final blow, but it was in his darkest hour the miracle occurred. That sword ended up in his hand, between his fingers, and he plunged the blade into the beasts belly, forcing the foul creature to flee. Christian, even though he fought the devil and nearly lost, he was victorious, by the power of Christ in him. We too have that same power flowing through us, and to quote the genie from ‘Aladdin’, “You’ve got some power in your corner now.” (Aladdin, 1992) When we are surrendered to Christ, and allow the Holy Spirit to dwell within us, the true nature of “I can do all things, through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13. This doesn’t mean you can score 100 points in a basketball game, or catch the winning touchdown throw with zero left on the clock. Sadly this verse is the most taken out of context verses in all of scripture. When you are Joshua storming the gates of Jerico and the odds are against you, it’s the Lords strength and decree that win the day. When you are Gideon and you face an army far larger than yourself, and God said to go, in Him all things are possible. When the Lord tells you to do something, it’s then you are given the strength to endure and accomplish what the Lord sent you to do. I fight not of my own strength, but of the Lords. I endure not of myself, but because the Lord has permitted me to endure. If it were left in my hands, I would fall, and not get back up. If it were left in my own hands, I would fail. 

Life is one of hardships, but for a baby Christian it can be confusing. A baby Christian is someone who is either new to the faith, or someone who’s been stagnant in their growth of the faith and are stuck at the baby phase. The baby Christian knows very little scripture. They do not have a strong relationship with God, and can easily be swayed by the word, and heretics preaching false gospel. These babies, often experience attacks early in their faith, and much like Christian’s friend in ‘Pilgrims Progress’, Pliable leaves Christian, abandons the path just as soon as he stepped onto it, at the first sign of trouble. Sadly in my own walk as a Christian, I have known many like Pliable, where they do not make up their mind, and at the first sign of difficulty, they abandon their walk with Christ. Largely the question comes up, “why would a loving God create so much darkness?” “Why would a loving God force me to go through so much hardship?” To that question, I answer this, God allows us to go through hardships because we don’t know what’s truly ‘good, or bad’. Anything that we believe changes our own plans, or makes us uncomfortable is considered bad. James writes, James 1:2-8 “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.” The Author of James, the half brother of Jesus, understood hardships. When he was writing the book of James, Christians were already being persecuted, and murdered. He writes this knowing that when he says trials, what he’s really saying here is when our friends are murdered, and you become persecuted also, count it joy to die for Christ. How can someone so calmly say, it’s alright to die for a belief. Why do you still fight? Why did the Apostles continue to preach day after day, and endure the beatings, endure the prison, and eventually endure the death that befell nearly all of them? They believed because of what they had seen and witnessed. It’s this witness that leaves me to the why. Why do I, personally, as the Arrow Preacher, why do I fight? 

Early in my life I found myself different from those around me. I found myself struggling with being an outsider, and being different from my friends. Early on in my life I heard the call from Jesus, though I wouldn’t fully understand till I was older. The hardships I endured, and even the betrayals I endured early in my life set me on a path, and shaped my personality. Before I went to basic training I had many tell me, I wouldn’t make it through training, I would fail. The last day of our training we endured a 20+ K ruck march, where we endured both hills named “Heartbreak” and “Misery”, which are both perfectly named. This march would be conducted with our 60-80 pound rucksack on our backs, along with our helmets, and rifles. We would endure venturing into this march, incredibly sleep, and rest deprived. At the time of basic training I was a mere 120 pound tiny fella. I struggled from around half way, till the end. A soldier had fallen to the rear of the formation, struggling with an Achilles injury. I chose to make sure he didn’t march alone. I fell back to ensure he wouldn’t quit. If I wasn’t going to quit, I didn’t want him to quit either. We marched together, both struggling, both falling further behind, and in danger of the drill sergeant calling it, forcing us into the truck. We endured the pain, and continued to march ahead. It was in that moment, when I felt like my hope was lost, we turned a corner, and there two football fields away, I saw it, I saw our barracks. The end was so close, and I couldn’t contain my joy. Tears fell from my eyes, as I knew that while so many had quit, so many were forced by injury onto the trucks, I had endured, I had defied the odds, and I had proven to both myself, and others, that I had what it took to serve as a Cavalry Scout in the United States Army. It’s that same strength and determination that allows me today, to continue to defy the devil when he asks me, “Why do you persist?!” I persist because I choose to. I persist because I have faith. I persist because I love Jesus, and those around me, and the fight is worth it. When I look around, and much like the Matrix, I see people all around me who are still plugged into to the system of this world, it breaks my heart. When I see people who have turned from Jesus, or have rejected Him outright, I hurt in the knowledge they may forever face damnation. I fight for them. I fight so I may share the love of Christ, as He commanded me to, to make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them. I fight because I know that somehow, or some way, Jesus will use what I have gone through in my life as a part of my testimony. I know that God waist’s nothing, and He will use what I have gone through later on down the road. Or, what I have endured, is the forging process, to heat me, to make be shapable, to then allow the world to heat me, but always being the master forge, He pounds me into a beautifully crafted, battle ready, and battle hardened sword. Out of hardships the armor is born, at least for me. All the hardships I endured have culminated in who I am, a man seeking after God, knowing I am not alone in this fight. But, I am ready to fight. 

Part II The Journey

Years ago, when I was a child, I faced intense bullying. This was not just verbal, but I was battered on a regular basis. I received swirleys; I had my shoes thrown into urinal stalls, while they were being used; I was beat up in the halls; hit in the back of the head on the bus; tripped as I walked down the halls; my clothes stolen in the locker room; I was targeted in gym, and worse I was targeted for thieving, such one time I was walking home from the bus stop when someone came up behind me and grabbed the gold chain I was wearing, breaking it but stealing it. When I turned around to confront my assailant, I was met with a fist to the side of my head, instantly knocking me to the ground, my ears ringing, and my eyes immediately blurred. Another time I was battered because someone didn’t understand my meaning of something I said. I was beaten badly, punch after punch to my head and face. I didn’t fight back. The worst part was after my mother’s attempted suicide, which I was present for, having saved her life from bleeding to death. From that day forth, people would say stuff like, ‘you’re so worthless even your mother had to try and kill herself to get away from you.’ This went on for years of my young life. I had often attempted to avoid school so I wouldn’t be subjected to this torture. I would avoid the bus so I wouldn’t be beat up. Sadly, in those days we didn’t have noise canceling headphones to just ignore them. 

Then, there was home. At home, my mother’s ex-boyfriend was a hoarder of car parts and tools. In the home we had boxes from floor to ceiling, only carving small pathways to places like rooms, the couch, but every nook and cranny, every bit of floor space was covered with boxes. The only refuge I had was my own room. But, with it being a trailer, the walls were thin, so when mom and her boyfriend argued I would hear them. Mom would often come to my room crying, waking me up, even if it was late on a school night. 

The first time I moved out I was 10 years old. I moved for a summer, and by the end of summer, I was given the option for the family I was with to formally adopt me. In my mind, I couldn’t bring that pain to mom, and I knew that me being away for the summer would have given mom time to change. But, as I would find out as time went on, and one move after another, she didn’t change. When I moved to Massachusetts from Michigan for another summer, with the intent to stay and go to school there, my return home didn’t change anything. This went on for six different moves, and each ended the same way. It wasn’t till my 15th birthday that I finally decided enough was enough. Within a year, I was given the opportunity to in essence be emancipated, and choose the guardian I wished to stay with. I would move in with my grandfather, and that’s when life began to change for me. 

My trauma would follow me however, and it always created doubt in myself, a poor image of myself, and fear of losing the people I cared for. The first woman I loved; I would have done anything for her. Even after we broke up, I bought her a car, and helped her anytime I could. In that time I couldn’t imagine life without her. I went to war and again, broken up, she was the person I was fighting for, fighting to return home. 

War trauma is a very real, and difficult thing to overcome. During my time in Ramadi, Iraq, I faced battle. I would experience my first miracle during a well-organized ambush, designed to kill Americans. This miracle, had several little miracles, one after another, as we beat the odds, 100:2. A hundred or more insurgents against two Humvees. As Winstin said from John Wick, “Fourteen-million-dollar bounty on his head, and every interested party in this city wants a piece of it, I’d say the odds were about even.” In a way, this was the ambush we experienced. We survived several RPG’s, small arms fire, IED’s, a failure in the main gun on the truck, a loss of communication with our partner truck, three blown out tires, a loss of combustion in the truck leaving it to limp out of the combat zone at a whopping five miles per hour. It truly was a miracle we survived. We also lost friends, several from outside the platoon would not make it home, but also from within our platoon. We experienced a traumatic loss as a truck would be destroyed, killing all four people on board. I was there that day, and witnessed the horror of what an explosive device can do to the human body. I will spare you the blood and gore, but it’s severe. 

Having survived two very nasty divorces, even finding myself in jail twice, because of them, not for anything violent, but regardless, having lived my life as much like Captain America, like a boy scout, as I could, being placed in handcuffs, being booked and charged with a crime, was extraordinarily painful, and traumatic. Thankfully those charges never stuck, and I became a free man. 

My own trauma, where I put a 9mm hallow point through my left shoulder, and nearly dying, left me with enough trauma for three lifetimes. Nearly dying will always have an effect on you. My own experience hearing the voice of God, would forever shape my future. One week prior to the gunshot wound I realized I was going about life the wrong way. I realized that I believed in Jesus as my savior, but I had not surrendered to Him as Lord. It was this realization that brought me to my knees in repentance. Just because you surrender to Christ doesn’t mean life will go the way you think it should. While I am not harboring ill will towards anyone, I believe now, that divorce was probably one of the best things that could have happened to me. I don’t believe that we would have made a good couple for my role in ministry. God indeed works in mysterious ways. 

In recent days, as some of you already know, I had a series of miracles in my life, from finding the damage to my aorta in the most unusual way, requiring immediate medical intervention to save my life, to the failure in my heart, necessitating a pacemaker be installed. Even after that, random pain in my left lower back, led me to believe I had a kidney stone. Upon scans, there was no stone, and the next day I felt fine, but the scan revealed fluid around my heart. After a more direct scan they found the fluid was affecting my heart’s ability to pump. This prompted an immediate intervention, which had me admitted to the hospital. In total nearly 400 ML of blood were removed. For perspective the amount pulled out of my heart was nearly as much as one would give, when they give blood. For more information on my heart surgery recovery, please read “The Week My Heart Stopped” https://thearrowpreacher.com/2024/12/07/the-week-my-heart-stopped/ and “One Month Later” https://thearrowpreacher.com/2024/12/22/one-month-later/

Living in a tent under these conditions provides many challenges. Even recently, a strong wind storm came to town, and continued time after time, to pull the chimney free from its elbow connection. With a limited amount of both mobility and strength, to fix any problems that come, would add extreme tasks. The same day, the elastic guideline connection came untied. It took me 20 minutes, in the rain, to figure out how the knot was tied. It took a great deal of effort and strength to complete the mission. While technically living in a tent is choice, it’s the better of two choices. Once again I find myself in the midst of challenges, I do not have the ability to fix. Every day is a challenge, one I feel unprepared to handle. I know that one battle we must face is that of patience. We often want things our way, in our timeline. The greatest display of patience or rather, lack thereof, is in scripture is that of Abraham and his handmaiden giving birth to Ishamael. Sarah and Abram at the time lost sight of God’s plan, and did not wait for the Lord. They took matters into their own hands, and thus disobeying God. We should take this as our cautionary tale about what happens when we become impatient and try to fix a problem in our own way and time. God’s ways are above our ways, His timing is not our timing. Fighting the urge to go out on our own, is the sin flesh nature that highlights our pride. Often times, pride is a battle all on its own. Pride pulls us as sin pulls us. We don’t always fight large problems, sometimes in our life we fight our feelings. We fight depression, we fight anxiety, we fight doubts, we fight the sins that make us feel good, and temporarily satisfied. One more level of the battlefield that makes the war a complicated one. 

The point is, we all have trials, we have traumas, we have hardships, and heartaches, but it’s these things in our life that truly do mold and shape us. They shape us, but it’s what we do with them that define us. What does your character look like? Do these things make you bitter? Do these things make you cold? Do these things make you angry? How is it we are to take these things and have joy in our heart? Jesus tells us to take heart because He overcame the world. And He is with us till the end of the age. We have joy that cannot be taken, no matter what happens because we have faith in Christ, and this life, this world is temporary. How to overcome these things is simple, we place them at the foot of the cross, and we never pick them up again. We let go of the baggage that holds us back. As I have often used a rucksack as my example. When you’re walking up a hill, you take with only what you need. Much like the sword of Griffendor, it takes in only what makes it stronger. We must take in only what makes us stronger, and anything that is weighing us down, doubt, fear, regret, sorrow, anxiety, we set these down, and continue the fight. We cannot win the war if we have carried so much we are over encumbered. 

I have experienced so much, and the work it has taken to get to where I am, is not of my own power, but rather the changing power of the Holy Spirit in me. I am nothing, a dead man, without the Spirit in my heart. My works are nothing, they are but filthy rags before the Lord. Works without faith are nothing, and faith without works are nothing. It is our faith, that produces the works. We are never saved by our works, but our repentance of our sins, and our faith in Jesus Christ as He is the way the truth and the life. He is the only way to the father, and no one, not one person gets to the father except through Christ. Jesus told us the path to destruction is wide, but the path to glory is a narrow one, and few will follow it. I fight for the truth. There is but one truth, and that’s God’s truth. Nothing begets nothing. Intelligent design points to an intelligent designer. Life does not come from nothing. I fight for the truth because I believe people don’t willingly die for a lie. I fight for the truth because I know the apostles wrote the truth, they described themselves as cowards. They described themselves as afraid during the crucifixion of their supposed Lord. The moment they saw their Lord risen from the dead they became bold, so bold that they withstood great pressure from Rome, and the Jews, that they went to their deaths in horrible ways. No one goes to their death for something they know to be a lie. People don’t give up power, wealth and prestige, but a ranking member of the Sanhedrin, “Paul”, gave up everything to follow Christ, even after he persecuted them, and sent them to their deaths. I fight for truth because I believe scripture to be true. 

What do you fight for? Why do you fight? What are you willing to do, or how far are you willing to go? I have found it’s easy to die, it’s a hard thing to live, and continue to fight the good fight. For whatever reason, after all my near-death circumstances, the Lord wants me on this earth. I will obey my Lord, and I will fight. I will fight till I draw no more breaths. I will fight injustice; I will fight against wrong. I will fight to keep my family safe. I will fight to preach and teach the truth to all who will listen. I fight because I love. I love my family, and I love my enemies. I wish for no one to perish, and the time we have is precious. What we do with it, is important. Do we maximize our efforts to share the name of Jesus to all, or do we squander it? Do we fight to look like Christ daily, fighting our sin nature? Living amongst the world as a non-believer is easy. Living among those who hate you, and want you to not be a part of their society is hard. Fighting for the Love of Christ is hard. Picking up your cross out of love and carrying it, dying to yourself, dying to society, and walking a very different path than your neighbors is tough, perhaps the toughest thing you will ever do. But the rewards for doing so, are beyond our earthly comprehension. The gift to spend eternity with our Lord and Savior, is the greatest gift we could ever receive. The most significant miracle I’ve ever experienced is the Lord changing my heart. I went from being apathetic to the word of God, to all in. The moment I heard the Lord’s voice, and life was breathed back into my dying chest, was like God imprinted something on my heart and mind. A purpose, a guiding star to place my compass and embark on the hardest journey of my life. I fight because the Lord asked me to fight. Am I a threat to Satan and his kingdom? I do believe so, and thus why I have experienced such hardships in the recent years. I am sharing the gospel when I am able, I write, I do my podcast on YouTube, and I preach and teach to anyone who will listen. I am unshaken, I am unbreakable, I am forged in the fires of this world, and I will fight till my last breath, because I love the Lord, and I love the people of this fallen, sick world. I fight because I love what the Lord loves, and I fight to serve. The Lord saved me by giving me a new heart valve, and a pacemaker to run my heart. I survived open heart surgery; I survived my heart stopping, and beating again. I survived blood crushing down upon my heart, and I will continue to survive whatever the world sends at me, till the day, the Lord recalls me. I will fight the good fight till Jesus calls me home and says well done. Will you fight with me? Will you be zealous for the word of God? Will you choose to follow Christ? Let us fight this war together. Let us never quit, and never surrender. Let us fight in love because we choose too. 

20 Years 

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20 Years 

We were taking fire, and we were cut off from any support, we two trucks were alone, against the city. Any notion I had of being there to make a difference disappeared in an instant. When the bullet ricocheted off my door next to my head, I knew we were in trouble. That was the first miracle. There would be many more miracles to come. The RPG wouldn’t get fired, because of a well aimed .50 cal volley. The IED’s wouldn’t breach the cab. The second, third, and fourth RPG wouldn’t make direct contact with the truck. Neither gunner would be hit. The truck which tried to block our way would be an annoyance more than a hinderance, and both in the truck would meet Jesus that day. Along with the truck driver, and his friend, more would meet Jesus that day, by our hands. The gunner on my truck would have to abandon clearing the jam on the Mk-19 and use him M-16. Nearly going black on ammo, he never stopped returning fire with his small rifle. The final miracle would be my truck, which had lost all its fluids except gas. When I removed my foot from the pedal the truck died and wouldn’t start for nearly 6 weeks. There was so much damage to the engine from bullets it would take weeks to repair. 

         It’s an odd thing surviving such a well laid out trap. We walked right into it, and yet, we survived and many of them did not. While direct contact like that would be rare for our platoon, it was something I wouldn’t easily forget. I would also not forget the feeling I had during the attack. The bullet hit my door and both hands flung to the wheel. A calm rested upon me, and as chaos erupted inside the cab, I was at ease. Screaming, and bullets flying, along with explosions, and that young 20-year-old was not phased, not till the truck died and we were back with the other trucks. Once the truck died that’s when the peace I felt went away revealing the terrified, and very shook, kid. Was that the Holy Spirit resting upon me? I believe now, it was. I believe God sent a circle of protection around us, and saw us out to safety. Nothing else explains how we survived. When the insurgent had us dead to right and yet the gunner in the truck ahead of us made an impossible shot. Or the RPG that somehow flew just overhead, but close enough to sever the antenna of the truck in front of us. Or the other RPG that just barely missed either truck, but close enough to explode taking out my front right tire. How were they unable to stop either vehicle even when they blocked the path with a pickup truck. God was with us, protecting us. 

While I am aware that this following verse is for Israel, not for a small scout unit, I believe in my heart, this is what we experienced.

Deuteronomy 20:1-4 20 “When you go out to battle against your enemies and see horses and chariots and people more numerous than you, do not be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, who brought you up from the land of Egypt, is with you. 2 When you are approaching the battle, the priest shall come near and speak to the people. 3 He shall say to them, ‘Hear, O Israel, you are approaching the battle against your enemies today. Do not be fainthearted. Do not be afraid, or panic, or tremble before them, 4 for the Lord your God is the one who goes with you, to fight for you against your enemies, to save you.’

I cannot say what our odds were of survival, but it was not in our favor. And other than modern technology of our armored trucks, we still had little odds of both trucks making it out that day. What are the odds that not one of us would get hurt, not even the gunners? No, I say the Lord was with us, and his protection rested upon us, his Spirit guided me and kept me calm. We were not just lucky, we were blessed. 

2 Corinthians 10:3-4 3 For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh, 4 for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses.

I march in the battle with the sword raised high. I’m still a soldier today, fighting a new enemy. The fight, the war for not our lives, but our souls. I’m a soldier, ready to deploy, all of my enemies, they tremble at the name of my general. I fought for the Red, White, and the Blue, and nearly died there. I lost part of myself in the hot desert, but the Lord of all found me broken and pieced me back together for a greater purpose. I fight for Him, I fight for a purpose greater than any on this earth. I fight for those who cannot fight for themselves. I fight for those who don’t know him, that they may have a chance. I fight and if necessary pay the ultimate price, to share one name, one single name above all names, my Lord, my Savior, Jesus Christ. If you knew him, you’d understand. See, He, the Lord of all, paid the ultimate price for you and me. Jesus laid down his life so we would know he was and is Lord. 

Fallen Soldiers, we stand on your shoulders. How many have died for us to know the name of Christ today. How many have died to have the Bible in English. The church is built on the blood of others. Starting first with Christ and his Apostles, and thousands of others. Even now brothers and sisters in Nigeria are shedding their blood for their faith. We must stand together, and stand tall, ready yourselves, and may we continue to sing praises for our savior. Let us lift up the name of Jesus so the darkness itself cries out in fear. 

It’s been twenty years since I saw evil face to face on the battlefield. But for me the battle isn’t over. My enemy is both the same and different, as it is against the father of lies, and his myriad of demons. While the projectiles that come my way are no longer bullets, bombs, or rockets, I am still under constant spiritual attack. While I survived the battle, only to come home to a foreign place. I recall it took me six months to find a job, and to do that I was forced to rely on a temp agency. The only work I could find was very difficult manual labor. It wasn’t even skilled work. In the years that followed, it seemed the best I had to offer was not worth much. 

One afternoon working my post I was flagged down by some students at the university I worked at. A student was going into anaphylactic shock. He ingested a cookie with something he was allergic too. I took off running down the hall as fast as I could to my bag. I grabbed my epinephrin pen and ran back, to quickly administer the life saving injection. Not long after the paramedics arrived and took over. In less than six months I had been given officer of the year for the district, which covered thousands of officers. I worked for the company for six years, but in my time of need, I was let go, forgotten like yesterday’s trash. Is that all I was, all that time? Just a body filling a space? Over the next couple years I would move into a more skilled position. Sadly, that position, although I loved it, would be marred by conflict. Eventually I would be injured on the job and during my recovery I would not hear from the company at all. All the talk about being a family, the company being more than a job, and yet once I was injured, that family was nowhere to be seen. Again, is that all I was, just a warm body filling a vacant position? 

Truth be told, in recent years I have struggled with the concept of relevance. While I don’t strictly have an answer for this, I am doing my best, to do my best. It hasn’t been an easy few years. Going from working to early medical retirement. As my body degrades and the cost of doing just about anything becomes more costly, I find it difficult to navigate the slew of emotions that are left behind. My desire to serve remains, but it seems the use for what I have to offer is lacking. Being retired is fun, being retired with no money is just boring. I have dreams and things I’d like to do, but the reality is without funds, most of it doesn’t get done. I have things I’d like to do, but ultimately it comes to this, what does God want me to do? In 2016, God spared my life, and saved me. Now, I’m living my life, trying to serve Him, and do the best I can. I keep searching for some grand plan He has for me, but now eight years later, I still don’t know His plan. While, I am waiting to hear from God on what my purpose is, I continue to write, and teach from behind this keyboard. I continue to bring the word to anyone who would listen from my podcast. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV3r024gS2FRDIbpqnsDwWA

Living with chronic pain is not an easy journey. Often confused with pain from old age, this is not that. As I said, it’s been 20 years. It surprises me what we were willing to put our bodies through in the service of our country. I served in a time when patriotism was still high from the 9/11 attacks. I wouldn’t trade my service for anything though. Do I pay for it now? Sure I do, my body often struggles with just basic tasks, and seeing as if I’m only 40 years old, it’s a challenge. Life isn’t an easy road, and when you add in the life of a Christian, it adds significant challenge. We must face the reality of where we find ourselves, and not get stuck. While I don’t know what God wants from me, nor where am I intended to be, all I can do is serve the best I can one day at a time. Perhaps that’s all we can ever truly do. As scripture said, worry not for tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry for itself. Maybe the lesson to be gleaned is this, do the best you can today, with what you’ve been given. While I’m sure there is always a bigger picture, we have opportunities today. I guess the saying is true, ‘Today needs you, tomorrow can wait.’ Twenty years ago I survived, and although I can still see it clearly, I must remain focused on the needs of this day. Faith is what I live by today, and it’s that faith that tells me to keep going, keep pushing forward, keep fighting the good fight. I was a soldier once, fighting for a nation, and today I’m a soldier, fighting for the kingdom of God. May we never forget our battles, for they give the fight meaning, what we learn, what we experience, we may grow from. Never grow weary, and never surrender the fight. 

Today I remember the fight, the details remain in my mind, and I am thankful for God’s protection. There would be many more days of fight ahead, and some far removed from my time in the desert. A part of me is still there, even after all these years. A part of me died there I think. The young kid, full of life, and laughter is not the adult that left the desert behind. The last day in Iraq I remember sitting on the ground, my bag for a pillow, waiting for the helicopters to come pick us up. It seemed surreal at the time. Were we really leaving? That was it, just one day, the war was over for me. The ambush came so early in the deployment but it set the tone for the remainder time in Camp Ramadi. I would never view life the same. The constant awareness would become second nature. The constant threat assessment would be commonplace for me. The losses we feel every day in our hearts would not go away as easily as us flying from the base in a helicopter. The weight we carry has been with us ever since. War changes a person, and unless you experience it, it’s hard to explain. The battle for Iraq lasted more than 15 years and I have often wondered what did we gain? When I arrived there I wanted to make a difference. I wanted to free the Iraqi people from a régime that threatened their way of life, and held them hostage under the thumb of a ruthless dictator and his sons. Looking back, and experiencing the hurt, and the betrayal as I watched on TV. As ISIS took control of Ramadi. Why were we there, if it was just going to be given to a new enemy? Answers sadly would not come as the hurt funneled into my heart. What was a soldiers life worth? The scars left behind by that place are much like the wound Frodo wound experience on Weathertop, a wound that would never fully heal. 

I am still a soldier, albeit broken, and slower than I used to be. I still rise every day ready to fight the good fight, and know that war while we live might be inevitable, are only battles in the grand scheme of things. But Jesus will win the war. Jesus will return with a mighty army and slay the enemies of the throne. I a soldier in His grand army, continue to fight, but instead of bullets, and tanks, I fight with the Holy Word of God. I do not fear death, for death comes for us all. I believe when death comes I would welcome it as a release from my time in service, and allowed to finally go home, and finally rest. Jesus paid the price for my sins, and one day he will grant my leave. That day may not be today, or tomorrow, but till then, I soldier on, and I continue to fight the good fight, and I continue to stand my ground against all my enemies, the chief enemy, the father of lies, Satan. I shall continue to pick up my sword, tighten the straps of the Armor of God I so willingly wear, and prepare for battle today, the next day, the next battle, each and every day, I fight. 

To those who came home still in the fight, I pray for you. 

To those who didn’t come home, I fight to honor your sacrifice. 

To those who serve or served I salute your service. 

For more reading:

The Longest Road 

Youtube: Overcoming

Study God’s Word 

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Study God’s Word:

If someone would have told me years ago, that in the future I would spend a great deal of my time in and around God’s word, I probably would have thought that it was interesting but not overtly crazy. Growing up I was not in God’s word at all. I didn’t go to a Christian school, though I wish I had. I didn’t go to Christian summer camps, or even been a part of a vacation bible school, I also wish I had. I didn’t open my Bible at all, even on Sundays, I didn’t have my Bible. In fact, as I sit and ponder those days, the only Bible I remember having is a children’s Bible which had stories, but not actually a Bible. It was not till I was older and serving in the military I received my first actual Bible. The most involved in Bible study was when I attended a small prayer group in High School. I knew the name of God, and I had faith, and I prayed, but I didn’t understand who God was. 

One week during basic training at Fort Knox Kentucky, we were invited to a church for Thanksgiving dinner. While at the dinner the church handed out a fairly simple KJV Bible. I gladly accepted it, and at the first chance I got, I bought a highlighter and begun combing scripture for verses to remember. While I would not have called this Bible study, at least I was in the word. I would get a small Gideons Bible which is just the NT, Psalms and Proverbs; I was given this on my way to Kuwait to join the battle efforts in Iraq. I spent a lot of time reading verses, combing through scripture, again searching for things I thought would be helpful and comforting, but not actually knowing God. 

Fast forward many years later; it’s 2017, I’ve lost everything, and my life is in shambles. Teaching for a small bit of time at a local church, I had a decent understanding at this point how to study, but outside of preparing a lesson, and following along on Sunday’s, I still wasn’t studying yet. But, in early 2017 all that changed. With my life crumbling around me, and having lost everything, I dove into scripture. I dove into topical study, and while I wouldn’t exactly recommend that to anyone, it was a start, and everyone’s gotta start someplace. For me, I wrote a blog, this blog, and I wrote every day, sometimes 2-3 times a day. I was hooked on learning and writing, and sharing ideas, and I was growing in the Lord. To date I have posted 848 times. I will say, the vast majority were in 2017 (382), 2018 (340), and 2019 (41). Since then, I would say, spiritual warfare gripped me, and my desire to write was severely diminished. I studied but it was different. Let us fast forward again to 2024. While the numbers on the blog for 2024 are kinda small, a mere 18, I have also started doing a podcast. A transitional period for me. My focus is now divided into writing and speaking. The difference between 2023/24, and the last few years is while there are no numbers to show this, I study God’s word just about every day. As I am going through the book of John for the podcast (Vlog), and in my personal study Luke. 

So, why is any of this important to you? After being an understudy for the youth pastor at my church, I realized how important it was to know God’s word. Not just to know what it says, but to understand it, and have it stored up in my heart. The words of 2 Timothy jumped off the page, 2 Timothy 4:3-4 3 For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, because they have itching ears, they will heap up for themselves teachers; and they will turn their ears away from the truth, and be turned aside to fables. If Covid taught me nothing, it was this, the number of false teachers is extreme. During Covid as most of us were stuck at home, I began to search for online preachers. Slowly, one by one I found in some way they were teaching heresy, or worse, blasphemy. How would I have been able to tell the difference of solid teaching, had I not studied the Bible myself. Many people today, fall within the category in which Paul is warning Timothy. They do not know the Bible so they fall into the web of a false teacher. 

Today, false teaching has grown, into what seems like a great falling away. Not only is the word being miss spoken, but a large portion has become apostate, and has compromised the Word of God to allow inclusivity, and has watered down the Gospel, more concerned with its own bottom line of brining in the world, and making the world feel more comfortable. Because of this however, it has changed what the Bible says, they corrupt it’s meaning, and in an attempt to be more inclusive, much like the slogan of Obama Care “If you like your old sin, you can keep your old sin.” Sadly, this leaves little room for the actual truth, God will condemn those who preach His word incorrectly, and those who listened are also condemned, even if they believe they are saved. The problem is, they don’t truly understand scripture, or the Holy Spirit. They were not born a new creation, have not killed the old sin with the grace and mercy of the Holy Spirit, and still live in the sin they so loved. When people come to Jesus, but do not know the cost, the giving up on yourself, your own desires, and the love of the world, picking up your cross daily to follow Him, they risk the dire consequences. When you follow Christ, there is a part of you that dies, and a new part is born. One cannot follow Christ without dying to themselves first. The faith in Christ is met with an action, and the action is dying to yourself. As Christ said, you cannot serve two masters. You cannot try to serve God, but love and be of the world. The world is under the control of Satan, and if you love the world, you live under your father Adam. 

Why Bible study matters. Lets take a look at Ephesians 4:31 KJV 31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice

NKJV 31 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.

ESV 31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.

NASB 31 All bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and slander must be removed from you, along with all malice.

CAN YOU SPOT THE DIFFERENCE? 

Here’s why biblical studies matter. It’s at the end, ‘be put away from you, with all malice’, or ‘along with all malice’. In English these mean two very different things. But the root word in the original language is “óúv: meaning association, fellowship and inclusion. Being rare in.” In each translation, the word for with, and the word along, are the same, just one removed the word along. When I first read it, I read it in the New King James, and someone preached it from the NASB, and I was confused. Which one is it? I interpreted it to mean you are to put away bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking with malice, meaning to hate your own sin. But, while this can still be said as truth, the true nature of this verse is to do those things, and also, adding to it, put away malice: wickedness, depravity, malignity. 

Without true study of the Word of God, people have been getting the Bible to say whatever they want it to say. Without knowing it in your heart, you don’t know what is true, and not true. The other day I was watching a new show on Netflix, and I can’t really describe it as a documentary, because it’s littered with the world, and not Biblical truth. It’s supposed to be a documentary on a Biblical figure. In the show, they quoted Exodus 20:3 3 “You shall have no other gods before Me.” They took this to mean, you should have no other gods before me, that must mean there are ‘other’ gods. Sadly, thousands or millions of people will watch this new show, and think that they may have a choice, that there are other gods to choose from. Scripture here is not saying there are other gods, but rather, we create them ourselves, and we worship the created, and not the creator. I think Captain America said it best, “These guys come from legend, they’re basically gods” Captain America responds, “There’s only one God ma’am, and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t dress like that. (Avengers) Much like the golden calf on the side of Mount Sinai, or the 10 plagues God sent to show Egypt it’s made-up gods were nothing to the one true God. People have been making their own gods, and changing god into their own image since the serpents first lie to Eve. Genesis 3:4-The serpent said to the woman, “You surely will not die! 5 For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” Eve found this enticing, she saw she could be like God, wanting that power for herself, in her pride, taking the fruit from the forbidden tree, and eating it. Without knowing the Bible, we take God and turn him into our own version of god, and we take ourselves and place ourselves into the bible, and we become the main character. Instead of seeing the Glory of God, the Power of God, the Worship to God, and the Word of God. Without knowing scripture, scripture can be taught any which way, and we believe it. We hear the snake oil salesman and we buy what he’s selling, just as eve bought the pitch from the Devil. There are no other gods before God, because there are no other Gods. What we do, is worship the created, rather than the creator. We worship trees, and turtles, and rare birds, but do not hold an unborn baby in the same regard. We worship pride, and place it on a pedestal because we worship the pretend marginalized. We either ignore Gods word willfully, or negligently in ignorance. We allow these things to take place and we attend churches where these things happen, but we remain, and we say nothing. Most don’t know the word, and are being led off a cliff, but because they think God loves them just the way they are, there’s no reason to change. God in their minds is an all-inclusive God, and he loves us just the way we are. 

God does love you just the way you are, but there is something that is called to happen; we are called to have faith, but then, to REPENT! Our faith in Christ which causes the change in our hearts, leads us to repentance. The Holy Spirit within us, forces change, it makes us come face to face with our sin, and we become repugnant to our sin. In being a new creation, we cannot be in love with our sin, for if we are in love with our sin, we are condemned by it. Scripture is clear about such things

1 Corinthians 6:9-11 

9 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, 10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God.

Galatians 5:19-21

19 Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, 21 envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Voddie Baucham on the TWO tables of the Law. 

Don’t Murder- Don’t deprive your neighbor of his life. (Not kill- they are not the same) 

Adultery- Don’t deprive neighbor of his family

Theft – Don’t deprive neighbor of his goods

False Witness – Don’t deprive neighbor of his reputation

Coveting – Don’t despise what God has given you. 

Coveting- you are not satisfied with what God has given to you. 

We, much like Eve, think God is holding back from us, and we want what we want. We want that relationship no matter what God’s law says. We want that sexual attention, no matter what God says. We want that stuff from the store, though we can’t afford it, no matter what the law says. We want to preach in church, (if you’re a woman) no matter what God’s word says. We covet ourselves. We worship ourselves. We worship false gods. We don’t know God’s word because it sits on the shelf and we don’t ever take the time to read it, and study it. Now, here’s the rub. Some read but do not see. Some preach, but do not understand. How do we know who’s who, unless we know and understand scripture for ourselves? The Apostles did not see Judas sitting right in front of them. They did not see the impending danger, and could not tell Judas had a demon in him. He blended in, a chameleon, the enemy was in their midst and they couldn’t see. If we don’t study and know what God’s word says, adhere to God’s commands, take them into our hearts, how will we know the counterfeit from the real one? 

It is our jobs as Christians to not just know Jesus as our savior, but to know his commands. Our job is to know and rightfully discern His commandments of God. If we are to know God, we must know what He as spoken. If we are to follow Jesus, we must know what He wills for us, commands us, and expects of us. We cannot live our lives in the dark, and in order for us to live in the light, we must know His word. We must keep His word in our hearts so we might not sin against a righteous and holy God, Psalm 119:11. I have come to understand the dangers of getting my theology from the world. Trying to mix secular science, and my feeble understanding of scripture, left me with little or no understanding of who God is. I did not do my due diligence in study and when the going truly got hard, I had no appreciation, no knowledge of the nature of God. My foundation was that upon sand, and everything collapsed. My life should be a cautionary tale for those who believe they don’t need to know what scripture says to live a ‘good’ life. I assure you, there are none who live a good life, no one is righteous, and everyone falls short of the glory of God. But if we do not recognize our sins, how do we repent of them? We must know what He wishes of us, and why. Know what He expects of us, and why. Know who Jesus is, and what He actually said. Know what his Apostles said and taught and what they died for. No one goes to their death over a lie, and if anyone knew the truth, the 11 Apostles did, along with many others in the early church. They knew the truth, and died for it. IF they were willing to put down their lives for the truth, and in doing so, giving us the Holy Scriptures, the Word of God, why do we not have a desire to learn and grow closer to our Lord, and Creator? Don’t put off to tomorrow, what you can do today. 

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The Battle Continues 

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The Battle Continues: 

It’s been well over a decade since an excited and scared kid ended up in the Middle East. He was filled with honor and duty. He thought he could single handedly save the day, or die in a blaze of glory. The truth was much less glorious. The days were long and hot, and difficult to the core of his being. The time for training was over, and the realization that every day could be the last on Earth, didn’t escape him. The desert heat and the sand that came with was a constant reminder he wasn’t in Michigan anymore. The constant bang of outgoing artillery, along with the sound of helicopters, and then the not so occasional incoming mortars and rockets kept the adrenalin at an unhealthy but necessary high. Was he broken already, because his fight or flight seemed to be. He barely winced when the explosions occurred at random throughout the day. At one point several months in that dingy and dirty place, he was on the roof, the faint pops of incoming rounds and yet, he stood tall upon the building, watching the rounds fall from the sky and the impacts causing dust and debris to fill the air. What was wrong with him, that these things didn’t seem to bother him in the slightest. Months prior less than a month into the deployment a well-planned ambush locked his crew in a dangerous game of surviving the maze. The enemy was ready and planned the route, a kill box. A few hundred to two. Two trucks against a couple hundred of well-armed insurgents. With IED’s *Road Side Bombs, set in wait, along with hundreds of armed men and even some women with shoulder fire rockets *RPG’s, and rifles. What hope could a couple trucks have against multiple city blocks of the house of terrors? The answer would come in the most unusual way. Psalm 144:1-2 “Blessed be the Lord my Rock,

Who trains my hands for war, And my fingers for battle— 2 My lovingkindness and my fortress,

My high tower and my deliverer, My shield and the One in whom I take refuge, Who subdues my people under me.” My fingers and hands were indeed trained for war, and in the middle of the battle I felt as if a presence had taken over my hands, guiding me, showing me how to get out of the kill zone. A sense of peace in the middle of the battle took hold of me. While there were screams of war surrounding me, and the sounds of weapons fire, explosions, and a dying truck, peace was with me. Holy Spirit, Angel sent by the Lord, I can’t say, but I know we were delivered by God from the midst of battle. The battle wages on in my head on a regular basis, but not so much as the fateful day when the world changed, the scars left behind would forever alter that kid who went to war as a kid, but would emerge something else. 

“War is Hell” (Sherman) This seems so simplistic yet, real. War never really leaves us. “War, it doesn’t leave you. It… It can, it can bury itself, but it’s, it’s always there.” (Christine Chapel, ST. SNW) 

War, leaves a mark, one that most cannot see. The things soldiers see in the course of their duty is that of nightmares, things we have become desensitized too in our lives due to Hollywood. Those who choose to wear the uniform bare the burdens of nightmares, and emotional scars, so that others may not have too. Freedom comes at a high price, and love it, or hate the politics involved, some bullies need to be stopped. Some battles must be waged by those who can, to protect those who can’t. The time to act was put before us, and no matter the truth as to why we were there, we were in fact there. The politics, and the reasons no longer mattered when the mission had become survive and to the best you can to impact your area in the most positive way possible. Attempt to bring peace and prosperity to where you were. Scripture says “18 If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.” Romans 12:18. Some days, the war comes to you, it hurts, it breaks you, and leaves you down on the floor, wondering how, why, did it all come to this? 

The destruction of one Humvee is always a risk, one that the higher ups deemed as an acceptable one. The missions came daily, and all we soldiers could do was hope they were worth it. The explosion rings in my mind every day. The sight of the plomb of black smoke, one tan door a hundred feet into the sky, and a soldiers worst nightmare became reality. Four dead. What happened in those hours would both destroy lives, and create a new family. Tragedy often brings people together in ways that still surprises me. How do we get through such gruesome and tragic endings? Time, prayer, and family. War leaves a mark, and it never leaves. Some days, something comes to mind and it picks at the wounds, causing it to bleed, to tear open, and there is often little comfort. 

Psalm 23

23 The Lord is my shepherd;

I shall not want.

2 He makes me to lie down in green pastures;

He leads me beside the still waters.

3 He restores my soul;

He leads me in the paths of righteousness

For His name’s sake.

4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil;

For You are with me;

Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;

You anoint my head with oil;

My cup runs over.

6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me

All the days of my life;

And I will dwell in the house of the Lord

Forever.

We cannot change the past, and we cannot ignore it either. When the days come that the war comes back, we must give it, it’s due. We must acknowledge it, see it for what it is, and deal with it accordingly. Finding peace in tragedy is one of the hardest things a soldier will do. The training of a soldier is to change that person, train them to do the things that are opposite to human nature. Self-preservation is built into a personal DNA, yet a soldier will often run towards danger, stand tall, fight. A soldier will put those feelings into a box and put that box under lock and key in a closet with another door and lock, all to face the danger in front of them, and to be able to do so effectively. Soldiers, firefighters, police, doctors and nurses, all face these kinds of things. How does someone see their friends blown up, see the wreckage and sleep at night? Time, and effort, therapy, and prayer. There is no cure for the battle, but we can train ourselves to face the new type of warfare. The training to be a soldier takes a long time, sometimes years, but the truth is, you’ll never stop being a soldier, not really. Learning how to be something more when the soldering is done, takes a lot of time, and effort, but there is hope, because while you will never stop being a soldier, there is a way to be more. We are not defined by just one thing in our lives, parent, child, graduate, soldier, spouse, Christian. Psalm 23, a man, a soldier, a shepherd, a king, a husband, father, adulterer, murderer, judge, a man after God’s own heart, David held many tags for his life. How do we survive the trials and tribulations in life? Faith. We must have faith that God the Father is in control on the throne. We must have faith that our pain is not in vein. We must trust that while Satan often means things for our harm, for the Christian, God can and will use everything we go through for good. Will we stumble and fall? Sure we will. Will we have days when the PTSD hits us strong like a heavy weight punch to the face, absolutely. But through it all, scripture gives us all we need. Romans 5:1-5 5 “Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3 And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; 4 and perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” 

Life isn’t going to be an easy time as a Christian. Sometimes we must fight the good fight. Sometimes we must put on the war vest and do our best to bring peace. Sometimes we have to stand up for those who can’t stand for themselves. No matter the battles, the hardships, the trials, we know we have a King, a Lord, a Savior who understands, and is there with us. We know the vail was torn and we have a direct line to the God of the Universe and we can turn to seek his face any time, day or night. We know that he is with us, and we will never be alone. We know he will never leave, nor will He forsake us. And we know that when we seek his forgiveness in true repentance, we will be forgiven. While we were soldiers, we who follow Christ, are both soldiers of our country, but also soldiers for Christ, the General of the Fathers army of Angels and men. We are part of the war for souls, and we are called to go forth, make disciples, baptize in His *Jesus name. We are called to fight the good fight. How do we carry on from war, we realize that one war is over, and the next begins. We fight for Jesus, and he fights for us. We sacrifice for Jesus, because he sacrificed for us. We seek his face, because he sought ours. We are strong not of our own will, but the strength He gives to us. He gives us refuge when we need refuge. He corrects us when we are wrong, holds us when we weep. 

Take the battle one day at a time, and put your assurance upon the Lord of Lords. Cast your burdens upon him, and he will guide you. We were not given a spirit of fear, but one of Courage. Fight the good fight, and never give up, and never surrender. 

Disabled, But Fighting

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Disabled, But Fighting

This year my health took a rough turn making a major change in my life very real. I became a total and permanent disabled veteran. As things changed my ability to maintain a job disintegrated and left me wondering ‘what now?’. I have been asking God to show me my next purpose in life. Not only has my work life changed forever, but my change of health has also affected my ministry work, and volunteer work with the church. These changes have left me in deep prayer, and sometimes fighting depression. 

One of the major challenges of being disabled is not the physical disabilities, but the change in lifestyle. Disabled veterans are on a set income. The average cost for a mortgage in the US in 2022 is $1,275 per month on a 30-year fixed mortgage, and $1,751/month for a 15-year term. When you look at a budget how much, or what percentage of your income should go to your house? According to Dave Ramsey, 1/3 or less of your income should go to your house payment. Now, that being said, how much do veterans make? The amount might surprise you, $3,332.06. It’s pretty easy to see, average mortgage costs is nearly half. What that means is, veterans are not likely to be able to afford a home. There are many veterans who are disabled who have not been given the rating of 100%. The amount of homeless veterans is 11% of the homeless population. The estimated number of homeless veterans on any given night is 40,000. Something to keep in mind about homeless veterans is location. If you are a veteran, disabled and living in New York City, you are not given more money based on location. The ability to pay for housing in New York as a disabled veteran is impossible. Along with California, Hawaii, Massachusetts, and several other states. 

What does this do to a veteran’s state of mind? A veteran who cannot work, who cannot take care of their family, or even themselves, has a detrimental effect on their mental health. A veteran feeling of usefulness is important because it drastically affects everything they do. I myself have experienced deep depression after found myself discouraged at not being able to afford a home. While I am not homeless, in order for me to have a place of my own, I moved into a tent in the back yard of the parent I take care of. My physical issues have in turn made even simple things such as yard work, to be a challenge. Now with a looming full cervical fusion of my spine, which comes with a six-month minimum recovery time, I feel more helpless as ever. How can I support a family? How can I buy a house big enough for my growing family? How can I take care my parent, when I myself need help? 

Being a disabled veteran however is not about being a victim, it’s about what was survived. For me, the war took a toll on my body, perhaps more so than it did my mind. Injuries are part of serving in the military, and even with everything I deal with today, I would not change any of it. My military service has opened doors for me I would never have dreamt of. I have met amazing people and have been to amazing places. Being a disabled veteran comes with its challenges and hardships, but I wouldn’t change a thing.

It takes a lot to give up so much for the country you love. Freedoms aren’t free and it takes people willing to sacrifice everything to keep tyranny at bay. The loss of freedoms is always only one generation away. Knowing and understanding what it is that gives freedom and protecting that freedom is key, and veterans do this every day. I am thankful for everything I have experienced, and thankful for the veteran family I have. Even though I find myself in a tough spot financially, God gives me what I need right now. While I cannot afford a house, or a new car, I have shelter, transportation, and food. I am grateful for what I have, and I will continue to pray for an opportunity to be a home owner again. I will continue to pray for a way to support and take care of my family. I will continue to pray for my ability to serve at church, and serve the veteran community. Please know, this is not a complaint, but rather showing what our men and women go through as disabled veterans. Men and women gave their bodies for this country. Also, please remember that not all wounds are visible. Veterans see things and experience things that are horrific so you, here at home, hopefully never have too. We are coming out of a two-decade long war, and it’s left its mark. Please continue to pray for veterans and their families as we traverse the healing process. God bless this country, God have mercy upon us, and God bless our veterans. Psalm 144:1 “Blessed be the Lord my Rock, Who trains my hands for war, And my fingers for battle My lovingkindness and my fortress, My high tower and my deliverer, My shield and the One in whom I take refuge, Who subdues [a]my people under me. 3 Lord, what is man, that You take knowledge of him? Or the son of man, that You are mindful of him? 4 Man is like a breath; His days are like a passing shadow.” 

HAPPY VETERANS DAY 2022

Let Us Get One More

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Let Us Get One More

It is our duty, a charter, a command from our Lord and Savior that we go forth in a great commission, to build upon itself a great church, a rock, an immovable object of faith and truth, that all who would believe in Christ, be baptized and inherit to Kingdom of God. What does that mean? What does it mean to inherit the responsibility we have been given? I’ve been putting thought into what it means to receive this charter? 

Christians for a long time have sat by and watched the world change around them. I’m not referring to just watching the decades pass by, but rather, watching as moral decay seems to have run unchecked. We Christians have been given a charter beyond what we could ever imagine. I daresay, while we have not failed in the great commission, we are not doing a good job. 

Matthew 28:16-20 “Then the eleven disciples went away into Galilee, to the mountain which Jesus had appointed for them. 17 When they saw Him, they worshiped Him; but some doubted.

18 And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. 19 Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Amen.

There are Christians who take the commission given, and go abroad and make disciples in the name of Christ. Some people do mission work at home, and host bible studies, outreach programs, and other events to bring people the love of Christ. That being said, if it is true that there are 205 million Christians, why then is there such a rise in moral depravity? If those who claim Christianity, why are we so ugly to one another? Sadly, it would seem, there is a lot who take on the name of Christian, but how many of the 205 Mil. are cultural Christians, sideline Christians, or fully-fledged, submitted Christians? Now, I will say, it’s not my place to determine what’s in someone’s heart, I am not qualified to do so. However, scripture says this, Matthew 7:15-17 15 “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves. 16 You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles? 17 Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit.” If this is true, then if we know that a prophet in this sense is referring to those who claim to speak in the name of the Lord. But we can also take this a bit further. In other scripture verses, it talks about the vine of the spirit, and those vines that do not bear fruit will be pruned. We are the vine that bares fruit in the name of the Lord. If we are part of the vine, do our actions look like Christ? 

It breaks my heart when I turn on the TV and I see people being ugly to one another. It breaks my heart to see people in the street screaming profanities about our President, screaming insults at our President elect. It breaks my heart to see cops even if accidently, killing a man in their custody. It breaks my heart to see protesters injuring police, burning down peoples hard made businesses. It breaks my heart to see all the rape, murder, and cruelty to one another. I sit back, and I think to myself, what have we come too, where we think it’s okay to do these kinds of things? 

The hope we have in Christ, comes with the knowledge that things will continue to ‘fall apart’, before it gets better. In the time we have, we are chartered to make the very best of every day we have. When we go outside our door, we have the responsibility of Christians to either share the Gospel, or live in a way that we look different than that of the world. If you are a saved Christian and you believe you are given a gift in which we do not deserve, why would you want to keep that gift a secret? Why would you hide the light under the bed for no one to see? If you are a Christian, do you walk an isle on Sunday, but get hammered on Friday? Do you swear like a sailor and fall into depravity? What about a life of debauchery? Do you look like a man or women of Christ? We must be careful with our actions, and we must take time to look within, and ask the hard questions. When we look in the mirror, do we see Christ looking back, or is it a man or woman of the world? 

Christians truly need to be doing better at being Christ(like). When I look at our nation (US) I am saddened by the divide. I’m saddened to see the racism, the hate, the cruelty to one another. I’m saddened to see so many battling mental health problems, substance abuse, addictions, toxic relationships, and the list goes on. Like no other time in recent history it seems people are so alone now more than ever. We are not just physically distant, but emotionally as well. We are not loving as we are called to do so. The term ‘neighbor’ is no different than the parable of the good Samaritan, our neighbor is now the traveler that fell upon forlorn circumstances. We have become a people of the priest and a Levite. We call ourselves good people, but our actions would speak differently. We are not good people; we are not worthy people. No, sadly, we often turn a blind eye to those suffering, and to those in need. We often fail to share Christ even when the opportunity is right in front of us. I’m not talking about shoving Christ down people’s throats, but we should be offering to pray for others, we should be asking people to join us in church, we should be offering to help those in need. We don’t always have to do this help with money, sometimes, time is all that is needed. Are we offering time to pray? Are we offering time to help a single mother get out for a night? Are we offering to help an overloaded family clean the house, or do some yard work? Are we offering our elderly neighbor time to sit and talk? Are we listening to those around us? I daresay, we can be doing better. 

The year 2020 has been a strange year for everyone worldwide. We have endured so much loss, and destruction, pain and hardships. So many people have lost everything they’ve worked hard for. We have lost loved ones, and some have even lost themselves. Now more than ever, we Christians must be shining brightly for all the world to see. Right now, when times are truly tough, we must be shining brightly to show the rest of the world hope. We must be as bright as a full lush, bright moon lighting the nights path. We must be walking close enough to Christ to reflect his light to all who see us. We must be taking the time to give others our time. We must be helping, and lifting up one another, fulfilling the law of Christ by baring one another’s burdens, showing others love. 

If we are willing to sit by and say nothing, sit by and do nothing, how sad that we are letting those around us walk in darkness. It isn’t just walking in darkness, it’s not knowing when we will breathe our last, and yes, that’s a heavy burden, but we have been called to carry a cross, and that in itself is part of our burden. Eternal damnation is nothing to take lightly. Those who refuse to hear Christ, that choose to live in darkness, or even those whom we know don’t know the Lord and never share the good news of the Gospel with, we are complicit. We must take action. Christianity is not a spectator sport. No, far from it! In fact, Christian is about doing, it’s about loving someone enough to spare them from eternal hell. Even if we are simply ignorant, an ambivalence is still egregious when it comes to an eternal soul. Are we praying for our enemies? Are we praying for that neighbor that simply doesn’t like us for just being who we are? Are we sharing a nice smile to the young girl working in Walmart who looks like the weight of the world is on her shoulders? Are we turning a blind eye to the homeless man begging for money on the corner? Are we praying for the lost, the homeless, the hurting, those in harm’s way? 

Let us Christians do better. We can always do better. As Private Dawson said, “Lord, please help me get one more.” Let us find our one, and then another, and another. Let us not grow tired of finding someone to share the love of Christ with. 

And let us have a wonderful, and safe Veterans Day!

Slow is Smooth, Smooth is Fast

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Slow is Smooth, Smooth is Fast:

When we get up in the morning we are on the go from dawn till dusk. The rush of life seems to have gotten much more busy, hectic and we now find little time to focus on the words and will of God. Don’t try to rush through life because you’ll miss God’s small blessings.

I remember when I was in the military preparing for my deployment to Iraq, we were training to breach into houses and buildings, it’s called mount training. A saying we had was “slow is smooth, smooth is fast.” The idea is that when one rushes into a situation mistakes are made. If we just slow down a little, the mistakes can be lessened. As we have read in scripture, life is a marathon. We must learn to slow down to see our blessings and hear what God is telling us, we are but faithful servants of our Lord Jesus Christ.

We must come to learn how to move through life with purpose. Moving with a purpose for which God has called. We have a glorious purpose each and every one of us. We have been blessed with intent to do our work with our gifts, glorify the Father who has shown us grace and mercy. Proverbs 16:4“The Lord has made everything for its purpose, even the wicked for the day of trouble.” Do not be afraid of tomorrow. Do not fear the road for even in darkness there will always be light. Do not look towards tomorrow and miss today. Every moment we live in this world we have an opportunity to better it. We have chances to spread the Gospel and preach the truth of Jesus Christ. We cannot expect to We live, we live for the Lord. We Die, we die for the Lord. Whether we live or die, we do so for the Lord. Ephesians 2:10“10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” We are made perfect in the Lord, sent here to live this life in a mission that only we can do. Each and every one of us plays a part in God’s plan, and we must be willing to hear it, to live it, to act on it every day of our lives.

Matthew 28:18-20“18 And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in[a] the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” We must remain vigilant in the fight for Christ. We must walk in love and in faith, and never return hate with hate, violence with violence. We must love because love concurs all things, because Christ loved and concurred all to include death. We must go forth and spread the word not because we should, but Christ commanded it to be done. We will suffer along the road, and we will face all manner of persecution, but there is nothing this world can do, to ever strip us of our salvation. There will be days when the attacks are many, and the hurt runs deep, but I say to you do not fall into the trap the Devil has laid before you, stand tall, stand firm, and resist. Be slow to speak so we do not douse the flame with fuel. A quick turn burns bridges, but a slow tongue extends resolve. James 1:19 “19 Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;”

Though we will suffer long as promised by the Lord, we shall do so as Christ also suffered and died for us. We are blessed by grace and love, and with the abundance our cup should always be overfilled. Galatians 5:22-23“22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.” Spread this love every chance you get. The spirit loves and washes over us, and we must slow down and focus on the relationship with God, so that we may share with others our blessings and truth. Hebrews 12:1 ”12 Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,” Slow down and see the temptations and the sins of the world. Be focused on the righteous path. Always be precise in your conversations and your communications. When we’re quick to speak we often make matters worse. Do not rush through your bible study. Go through the word with meaningful purpose. Read, read and reread the Bible and study the language. Learn the truth and share it.

Climb the mountain one careful step at a time. When climbing Mount Kilimanjaro  there’s a saying by the guides, “Pole, Pole” which means slowly, slowly. Rock climbing is an activity where slow deliberate movements are done to ensure reliability and safety. Each move can be the difference between life and death. Understand that in life there is a need for smooth paths and steps. Always be in control of your tongue, your actions and your directions. While the only thing needed for salvation is Jesus Christ, I cannot imagine someone who would follow Christ and not have a desire to share the good news with others. Philippians 1:6“6 And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” Walk in peace my friends, my brothers and sisters, and remember, slow is smooth, and smooth is fast. God Bless.

 

 

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Bullies

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Bullies

Sometimes in life you will encounter a person in power and they will be more or less a bully. I’ve been in situations where I’ve had bosses or supervisors that no matter what I’ve done or tried to do, nothing was ever good enough. I think we’ve all encountered people in our professional lives that just made the work experience near unbearable. A friend recently told me, “you don’t quit jobs, you quit managers.” I had never thought of leaving a job like that before. When I put a little thought into it, I realize that most of the time when I have not liked a job, it turned out to be the boss that made it the worst.

The Devil is a bully. He will push you, lie to you, and attempt to break you. The Devil hates you for all that you are. Isn’t it wonderful though that we have a God that loves us for who we are? We never have to work for that love. We’re not judged with how much we work, or how many brownie points we can get. God is fully aware of what’s in our heart and our motives. It’s the love that matters.

When you encounter a bully in your life there are millions of ways people will tell you to handle them. In my own life I have heard the, ‘just ignore them.’ Advice. I have heard the, ‘make fun of yourself right along with the bully,’. I have heard ‘stand up for yourself, by any means necessary.’ While each one of these is very popular, I would suggest turning to the bible to find your true good advice Matthew 5:43-48“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’44 But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. 46 For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47 And if you greet only your brothers,[a] what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? 48 You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” We cannot allow ourselves to loose sight of God. We must not allow ourselves to succumb to the darkness. Anger, and hate lead to the dark side. We must stand firm. We must never loose control in anger. 2 Timothy 1:7“7 for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”

It’s easy to get wrapped up in our anger and that anger can blind us to the path that’s best for us. That anger and rage that can bubble up from years of torment, or physiological torture, can be hard to control. We must never set out to find our own vengeance though. Violence always begets violence. We cannot expect to change the world by physical means. Romans 12:19-20 “19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it[a] to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” 20 To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” If your bully attacks you, ask if you can pray for them. If they attack you, ask if everything’s okay at home. Bullies often have misguided anger or rage. Do not hate the bully nor pass judgment upon them. We never know someone’s circumstances, and while it never excuses their actions, it may provide some incite. Generally, hurting people hurt others. We cannot allow ourselves to let our tormentors to breach our heart with hate. We must not allow hate to take route in our souls. 1 John 2:9 “Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness.”

We must stand firm on love. Let love be our war cry and in everything we do, and everything we experience trust in the Lord to save you, and pull you through. Psalm 18:3 I ” call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies.” We have to trust in the Lord to deliver us from evil. There will always be bullies for as long as there is anger and hate in this world. Bullies feel the need to be in power. Bullies feel the need to be in control and those in control often feel they have to force their subordinates into submission. Matthew 5:38-41“I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies.” The bullies we have will beat you and hurt you emotionally. They will continue to try to break you down and look forward to seeing you breaking.

We have all encountered these people in our lives. Many have experienced bullying in school, and some in the adult world. Those difficult people are everywhere and in our struggle we must pray to be delivered from the hands of the enemy. Psalm 82:4 “Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked.” No matter the trials that befall you, you get back up and never let your own worth reside by the hands of your enemies. We must remain strong, and trust that we are worth more then what others can make us feel. Proverbs 24:16“for the righteous falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked stumble in times of calamity.” We must always get back up. We know that for every fall we rise in strength, and we can be stronger then before if we learn a lesion with each fall. Finally I will say do not attack your attacker. We must learn and I must reiterate the importance to not attack your attacker. I am not saying do not defend yourself in the event there is a physical altercation, but what I am saying is never attack out of anger. If you are being physically assaulted you should leave that situation and find help, or defend yourself and at the first chance remove yourself from your situation and again go find help. Stand firm in your faith and with love and compassion live your life. 1 Peter 3:8-9“8 Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. 9 Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.”

Tough Changes

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Tough Changes

Have you ever been in a situation where you dreaded to face changes? I recently experienced the need to change my cell phone case. It wasn’t allowing me to use the functions as they should have been and it became more of an inconvenience then the protection it added. I think tough changes are hard for many people to go through. Changes at your job can be tough, and stressful. Changing schools can be tough for many. Moving out of your parents house and getting your own place can be an incredibly hard change to go through. All of these things are easy or difficult depending on each individual person. While for each situation everyone’s reaction is drastically different, and while some love change, and others loath it, one of the biggest things to change is our actions.

A popular saying is “some people never change.” Another popular saying is “once a cheater, always a cheater.” While both of these are very popular, how true do you personally think these sayings are? From my personal experience I believe they are right on the money. I think the hardest thing we will ever do is change our personality to change our actions. I’ve always said humanity would never change without a major outside force. I always figured a global extinction event such as asteroid, or drought, or contagion would be the most likely just behind nuclear war. Alien invasion (less likely) could potentially bring humanity together to face a common enemy. That being said, most people do not change without something big, and life changing occurring within their life or someone very close to them. Cancer, or a near death accident has a way to change someone’s perspectives. While we often see a spiritual change in some during these times, it doesn’t always stick. The biggest change most will ever experience is the coming to the savior Jesus Christ. It’s the change in the heart that can change a man completely.

Romans 12:1-2“I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” In the Lord we are born anew. In the Holy Spirit the soul is reborn in fire. When the Lord takes hold of our hearts, we cannot not be changed. We must push forward in the Lord and we must face that like the Phoenix, we are reborn in the burning fires of the Lord, and in our new selves we are compelled to repulse the desire of the sinful flesh. 2 Corinthians 5:17“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”

Change isn’t always easy, and even when you begin the following of the Lord, change isn’t always easy even after choosing the Lord. In our struggles though we should turn to our siblings in Christ and ask for them to help keep us accountable and true. We grow and we sprout from seeds in Christ and grow into a wonderful flower. The beauty in this world is only limited by our own stubborn selves. We often want to stay in our struggles because we are unwilling to change our own actions. We must change our lifestyles if we are ever expecting to change our own lives. I have watched my life grow and change in my financial walk with the Lord, my spiritual walk with my God, and even how I treat my friends. While life is full of tough challenges, changing our hearts to follow the Lord, and living in love, and denouncing hate shouldn’t be so hard, but the draw of sin is strong. Keep your faith, and keep your eyes on Jesus and always strive to change yourself to better please the Lord to what we see in scripture. Never give up hope on those around you who may be stuck in sin, and who don’t treat others with respect or love. It