Tag: Anger

I’m Invincible

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I’m Invincible

Romans 8:31 “What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?”

 Who am I, when someone asked me in the past I didn’t have an answer, but now I do. I’m a champion, I’m a soldier for the Lord. I’m invincible before the Lord. The Devil attacks and knocks me down, but I get back up. I have the power of the Holy Spirit in my corner and I can take whatever the Devil sends. The power of the Lord and King are on my side and with it, I’m unstoppable. The Devil will hit me but he can’t hurt me, because from this day forward I’m a fighter and I will stand my ground. My whole life I’ve been training for this moment, and in this time I will no longer take the punches, it’s about time I start to fight back. My whole life I have taken the punches and felt the pain and curled up and cried in my corner. From this time forward I will no longer feel the shame and I will wipe my eyes, and stand tall. I will be a champion for the Lord, and I will light the fires and send out the call.

We are soldiers for Christ and we are the front lines of the war against our very souls. What’s at stake is eternity. We must stand tall and fight for what we believe in, and the truth is something worth fighting for. We must buckle up as this world gets darker every day, and be ready for the fight to come. Will you feel the flame from the Holy Spirit and sit back with it, or will you stand tall and scream it from the highest mountaintops? Will you be a man of the cross and share the gospel with others or will you hide away from the world a coward? Stand tall and take the punches like a man, and be the champion.

Champion by: Carrie Underwood (feat. Ludacris)

The C is for the courage I possess through the drama
H is for the hurt but it’s all for the honor
A is for my attitude working through the patience
Money comes and goes so the M is for motivation
Gotta stay consistent, the P is to persevere
The I is for integrity, innovative career
The O is optimistic, open and never shut
And the N is necessary ’cause I’m never giving up

We are made in the fires of the Holy Spirit, forged to be strong, to withstand anything the Devil throws at us, so be the faithful soldiers of Christ and prepare your minds, your bodies, and your souls for the battles. To be a champion of Christ we must take scripture to heart, we must learn it, lean on it, allow it to fill our hearts, and when we are attacked, scripture is the only weapon we will need. Philippians 2:10-11 “10 so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” What more is needed in this life to live in peace? We must learn to be the ambassadors of the Lord. We must learn when to use diplomacy, and learn when to strike the Devil head on with the sword of truth. In this life we can be strong or we can be weak. We can be winners, or we can be losers. If you are to live in Christ you shouldn’t be focused on everything that goes wrong, but figure out what the attack is, and mount a counter attack. Every challenge is an opportunity to grow and learn, and teach, and preach the Gospel. The world will turn on you, and friends will abandon you, but in all things God is always with you. No matter the trials that comes this life is always going to be temporary, God is eternal. What side do you want to fight for, the winners or the ones that will forever live in torment? We faithful have already won the war, we just need to keep strong and spread the word from the front lines. This war to win the hearts and minds must continue with us. You will take every punch, every kick, every evil trick the Devil has, but you were made to win, you were made to stand tall, and you were made in the Glory of the Holy Spirit. God has created you and God doesn’t make mistakes. God has more faith in you then you’ll ever have of yourself, so stop doubting and get up and be a Champion. You can’t be beat so long as God’s on your side. Be invincible, be unshakable, be an immovable object, and laugh as the Devil tries and tries to break you, and with each stone thrown it just bounces right off you.

Do not be conformed to the lies this world will spread. Do not fall for the tricks of the Devil because for every soul brought to Christ their name echoes in the halls of Heaven. They are celebrated, as they will one day go home. The perseverance we will show will one day pay off as we walk into Heaven and we lay our gifts at the feet of our King and Savior. We were made for this, and we were born to win, so hold your head high, today and forever as a natural born winner. Fight for what you believe in, and know that to believe in Christ is to be the greatest winner on Earth. A Champion, a Soldier for Christ. With God in my corner I can’t loose, I can’t fail, and I will hold my hands high and I will forever be in the winner’s circle.

 

 

Light or Dark

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Light or Dark

The darkest night covers me and I need you

The sun fuels my heart and gives me warmth and strength. I need you then too.

Because of you I’m alive.

No matter where I am, or the season I’m in, my Lord I need you.

Who am I without you, I am no one.

The Lord of all knows my name.

 

The Lord who created in love not because of what I do, just because I am. I am a sinful man, but love saved me. Never because of what I’ve done, just because of what you are. No matter my of praise, or my day of prayer your grace comforts me. Today the flowers bloom, and tomorrow the ice shall come, but in all my day, and in all my ways I am yours. Because you are with me I shall not fear the night. The night was so dark without you, but your glory so bright the single ray of light when the sun peaks the horizon, the darkness breaks. Jesus Christ the pure light that would forever push the darkness away rose.

What do I have to offer the king of the universe, my heart, my everything, and yet I will never be worthy of the gift bestowed upon me. I can surrender all and even up to my life it would never cover the debt. But it is grace, and love my bill was covered by Christ. I was so loved before I was born that for me my sins and the sins of billions of others, a blood debt freely given, ransomed for my freedom of death. If my debt was paid when I’m knocked down, who then do I fight for? Christ got back up and his strength became my strength. I will get back up and continue to fight till my dying breath. I owe it to Christ to never give up and never surrender to the darkness.

God’s word has withstood the test of time, and even now as we can see the darkness covering the land, we will watch, as God’s will, will be done. Those who criticize the word and those who push to remove God’s presence from the public will one day stand in judgment. The light of the word may be pushed away but in time the raging tide will again be tamed by the Lord. God’s word will stand firm, and the darkness will be pushed back, snuffed out by the light. No matter how far we fall it’s never to late to change our course. We cannot stop praying, or hoping for God to save us. We cannot stop worshiping the Lord no matter if things are great, or if everything has been blown to a million pieces. Yesterday is gone and we don’t live there anymore. We must learn to say goodbye to the past, and live in today. The heart may have been broken yesterday, but every day we breath is a new day of growing, a new day of healing. We must tell ourselves every day that Jesus is still with us, and in his love we are healed. You cannot expect to have an answer for every tragedy that happens, and in our walk we must learn to focus on Jesus. This world is not the end, and one day the end will come on this life and the walls that kept us confined will be no more. This is not where we belong forever, and we can count on the promise made by Jesus to one day sit before the King and be accepted into the light. This life is but a fleeting speck of dust in the wind, and if we want to go home, know that this world will one day wash away.

Praise the Lord for success, and praise the Lord in failure. In every chance we get, both good and bad, fix your eyes on the one and only thing that will satisfy your heart and that’s Jesus. Life can be hard, and we are told to expect the trials that come, and the persecutions that come with following Christ, but “If you can take it, you can make it.” (Unbroken) I am a broken man, and I fail every day to live up to what God expects of me. I know I fail, and I know I fall, but I know that because of grace, and I know what true love means, I still stand here knowing God is with me. I know I have the power of the Holy Spirit with me and I’m called to be more. I’m called to push myself, and to stand toe to toe with the darkness. Every day I stand and pray to protect me from the attacks. Every day I praise my God for the blessings I have. I know I am protected and I know that for Jesus saves my soul every day. I know that every day I wake hope is here. Every day I see the hope all around me, and I know that it’ll be all right. I’ve experienced the darkness, and I’ve seen the light. I’ve felt the cold, but the warmth always triumphs. In every tear that falls God holds them. In every heart that breaks God feels our pain, and yet healing begins with Christ.

Light or dark, we decide where to stand. We can choose to stay in the darkness avoiding the light if we wish, but when it gets cold, or the demons come to creep, know the light will always accept you. You can choose to live in fear of the unknown, or you can choose to trust in Jesus and know that there is a brighter future waiting for you. You can choose to walk in the darkness, but no matter where you choose to walk, Jesus Christ is always there with you. If you choose to walk in the darkness, you have to expect to stub your toe on the furniture. Who then will you blame, God for not removing the obstacle, or yourself for not turning on the light? We as people will always learn more from hardships then a life of ease and calm rivers. If you are to be truly tested we must first be pushed to the limits to know what we are truly capable of. It’s in these times we need to turn to Christ more then ever, because we do not truly grow otherwise. We often pray for things we think are good for us, but we only see two feet ahead, but God sees a mile. We are but children clamoring around the house trying to place our finger in a light socket. God tries to warn us what not to do, but we are a stubborn people, and if we truly wish for a smoother ride we must learn to trust in the Lord and stop being so resistant to what we are told. God’s grace and love is unyielding, but our acceptance of it into our hearts is purely voluntary. Jesus loves you more then you know, and we should praise the Lord in all things, each and every day. Because our savior lives we must pray. We overcome by the power of His blood, and we are alive because he lives. Prayer is the absolute least we can do, and for the gift of life, shouldn’t we do at least that? We would be dead without Christ. Sin and shame would be all we are without the blood, and we’re alive because He lives. The light that would forever be the voice over the shadow, my life was and is held in His hands. So I pray to you Lord, thank you for my life, thank you for my pain, thank you for your love, and thank you for your gracious sacrifice for me. In your Holy Name, Amen.

Peace

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Peace

When I was in the middle of the worst storm of my life I was seen through by Jesus. When I felt like I was being tossed around at night unable to see I was being guided through safe and sound.

I have been in the storm more then once, each time was more dangerous then the next and even when all odds were against me to survive, Jesus was right there with me unwilling to let me die just yet. People often ask me how I can believe in such an old antiquated idea. I recently heard the bible called a ‘nice story’. For me the Bible isn’t just some story, it has historical fact behind it, and more then that the length of time in just the old testament alone would be long enough time that unless inspired by a higher power it’s unlikely those events occur as they did. The prophesy laid down throughout the old testament, and then the coming of the Star of David as fulfilling prophesy wouldn’t have been likely. Astronomy wasn’t exactly a big science back then. Jesus foretold events to come, but even if you claim those parts were made up, who dies protecting a lie? Eleven men, who walked with Jesus for three years would be hunted by the Romans, and other nation’s leaders as they would preach and proclaim the word of Jesus Christ. Each of their eye witness accounts were written and matched one another based on their own backgrounds and points of view. Each man would fall one by one pressured to recant their story, admit they stole the body of Jesus Christ, and out their co-conspirators, yet not one denounced the truth. Who dies horrible, painful, tortured deaths, for a lie?

While it has been 2000 years give or take since the death of Christ, the works of the miraculous haven’t stopped. Most miracles happen and only a small select few know about it, or even say anything, but once in a while the story gets out and raises the question of these events throughout history. One story, a little girl diagnosed with a non-curable disease within her digestive tract, one day this disease will kill her. She’s playing with her sisters on an old tree on their property. She falls into the tree 20 feet and after hours of rescue they are finally able to get her out. Miraculously she walks away with a small bump on the head, not even a concussion. Within days it appears her disease is gone, and her health returned to normal. She had been fighting the disease for over a year. She recounts her experience talking to God and asked if she wanted to go home with her parents. She returned healthy, uninjured.

If this one miracle weren’t enough to sway me, I’d have to look back over my own life. I have several stories from my own past that should have taken my life, but surprisingly I’m still here. 1990, I was on an indoor slide and while at the top I was pushed over the side falling and landing on my neck. The fall probably should have killed me, but I walked away just a little sore. If that weren’t enough to sway me, I would see another miracle on September 12th, 2004. My convoy would be ambushed and my truck and another truck were separated from the group and made to run the gauntlet. 12 RPG’s, countless IED’s, and a hundred or so insurgent soldiers all shooting small arms at two trucks alone on a path designed to trap them. With chance after chance though damage was done, and eventually catastrophic damage, but not before miraculously making back to safety before the truck died when my foot came off the gas. It wouldn’t start again for nearly 6 weeks. Through the whole ordeal I was calm, and while every one else was yelling, I felt safe, at ease, and it came over me like a wave. This wasn’t from any amount of training, this was pure warmth and divine. If that weren’t enough, December 22nd 2004 a 155 round should have exploded just feet from my truck and miraculously didn’t. Had it detonated it’s likely someone if not everyone in the truck would have died. If that weren’t enough I should have died when a bullet went through my shoulder years later. Almost bleeding out, I wasn’t expected to reach the hospital alive. By the grace of God, and a divine encounter I survived waking up in the ambulance to everyone’s surprise. I had lost so much blood I was gray, and with purple lips I shouldn’t have survived the trauma and blood loss. Yet, when I was unconscious I distinctly remember saying, “God I’m Sorry.” And in response a loud, thunderous, booming voice replied, “You’re forgiven.” It was like I was hit in the chest, a jolt of lightning went through me and I awoke in the ambulance. The thing is, they never used the paddles on me. I never flat lined even though I was close. My vitals though low, improved once I regained consciousness. I begged them to let me go, I wanted to go back, but that wasn’t the plan. I didn’t die that day, and since then I have begun this blog, and I have begun to minister to countless others as I now openly discuss my faith. I have had a hand in saving the life of a man thrown from his vehicle in a roll over accident, and I know I have helped others through some very tough times. None of this would have been possible if God wouldn’t have spared my life that late afternoon.

Jeremiah 29:11-14 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the Lord, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, declares the Lord, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile.” For years I would try to find my purpose, and I would feel lost, forsaken by the God that supposedly loved me. For years I would grow in anger and frustration as one bad thing after another happened to me. I would suffer my final loss with my ex wife’s affair finally tipping the scale and pushing me beyond the max of what I could take in my life, or so I thought. I blamed God for the wrongs from people. I had always claimed to have free will, but when it came to others doing wrong against me I wanted to blame God. I constantly felt like my troubles were the result of God being angry and spiteful towards me. I couldn’t have been more wrong. The truth was fear, but not my own fear, fear of the Devil. The Devil attacks those the most with whom he is most afraid. Imagine for a moment the fear he had of Jesus Christ. If Christ could be turned, tempted by the powers of the dark side of the force he would be a failure to God, and would rule as King of the world, but nothing more. Jesus would not be tempted time and time again by Satan, despite his best efforts. Satan knew his time to rule over a fallen world was coming to an end. Lucifer would fail to turn Christ and when Jesus defeated death and rose in fulfillment of the scripture, the only thing Satan would have left was the prevent the human souls from being saved by Christ’s sacrifice. The Devil prowls around now tempting and swaying mankind into hate and despair. The Devil’s desperate final play before the end to stick it to God one last time is preventing as many souls from Heaven as he can.

We live in this world and allow this world to tear us down, to break us in some instances, and yet, we forget the most important part of the story, Jesus already paid our price. All we have to do as easy as it is to say, is make it to the end of this roller coaster we’re on. Life isn’t going to be easy, but if salvation were easy everyone would do it. If giving up ones sinful nature, ones desire to remain in control over ones own life, then everyone could do it, and salvation would loose something. Salvation is a choice, and a choice we have to freely make. I am not a perfect man by any stretch of the imagination, but I know that Jesus loved me so much he gave his life for me. I know God has plans for me and even if I don’t know what they are, I have to have faith. Proverbs 19:21 “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.” I have tried for many years to do things my way, to walk my own path, and every time I have tried, I’ve failed. I have run for many years from ministry because I always thought God was wrong. I was filled with so much pain and anger, how could I possibly help anyone else? The thing was, God doesn’t want perfection, he uses broken people all the time. Broken people are more real in their stories from what they were, to the healing power of the Holy Spirit. The true power of the grace of God is the redemption of the fallen, the rebuilding of the broken, and the finding of the souls that were once believed to be lost for all time. Through the grace of God anything is possible. The true blessings we have all because of God cannot be understated. While many will argue the nature of divinity, in my experience, seeing is believing.

Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.” God knew exactly what he was doing when I was created. He knew my hardships, and he knew the man I would eventually become. It’s his grace that saved me, and his love that would deliver me from the brinks of death. A rare second chance and unlike many who fall back into old ways, I rose above, and though I’m just as boneheaded as I was back then, I strive to better myself. I try to grow in my faith every day and to be a light in such a dark world. If we are ambassadors for Jesus Christ I want to try to put my best foot forward. So long I’ve tried to stand out in the crowd. I’ve tried to make my name be remembered for doing something great. My own goals were not what God had in mind for me. Greatness doesn’t come how many people know you; it comes from the memories you leave behind to those who remember you. I will try to be the best man God wants me to be, and let history decide the rest. We must have faith in the plan, and let go of our own plans. When we allow the father to guide us it takes much of the pressure off on where to go, or what we have to do. We must fall on our faith that God will handle the details, and we just go where he leads us. Faith isn’t easy, but those who walk by faith, while life is no easier, often learn to take life more in stride then others.

We walk in this dark world, and if we are to find peace we must first find hope. How can someone continue to fight if they feel no hope? Where do we find our hope when the world falls down upon our heads? When the Apostils watched in horror as their Lord was nailed to a cross after being brutally beaten, they were crushed in spirit. They were utterly without hope, but after 3 days the blood debt was paid, the victory lap had been made, and Christ would rise and make himself seen fulfilling the prophesy and destroying deaths hold over the sinner for all eternity. What hope is there do you ask? While the living God is still on the throne there is always hope. Those who dwell in the dominion of Hell have been pushed back as the blood spilt bridged the gap from sin to God. Where we have hope in Christ we have light, and while there is light we will always have peace. The love of God that lights up the darkness is all we’ll ever need. A heavy price was paid, and we have the only thing that will ever matter, the love of the father.

Finding your center

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Finding your center

Sitting on the side of the ledge of the island looking at the sunrise, the waves glistening from the sunlight making the water look like diamonds. The breeze tropical, the smell of the salt, the few clouds occasionally making the sun playing peek-a-boo with the ground below, the only thing you can think about is how wonderful life is. While this can sometimes be an allusion, the fact remains, you must learn to find your center in any situation you may find yourself.

As a Veteran I’ve had to place a lot of energy into keeping the anger built up to be subdued, and while for me particularly angry out bursts are rare for some, it’s an everyday occurrence. It’s so important to learn how to keep yourself centered and grounded. The Bible tells us to Love our neighbors as ourselves. If we are to love, that means we much learn to love others as we are taught what love is, and that’s patient, kind, not boastful, it doesn’t keep score, it doesn’t boast, and if we can find that love for one another, we would be much more in tuned, and we would find that we can live more harmoniously with those around us.

Through prayer and meditation, we can accomplish so much. We can truly allow our bodies to heal better, and we can find ourselves having a better grasp on mental health then before. While this isn’t something that comes easily for everyone, it is something that just like practicing at any sport it takes time, energy, focus, and practice. Allow yourself to reconnect with yourself, and be kind to yourself, and your surroundings. Peace can be found with a little love in your heart.

While this is my last post from the beautiful state of Hawaii, I find myself both sad and excited. I have felt a rejuvenation deep down into my soul and I know I needed this trip. The Aloha (Love-Kindness) I have felt since I’ve been here has been so warm, and kind, and even a little unexpected. This is an island where there’s a lot of beauty, and awe, and love. Nearly everyone I met greets with a hug, some even from strangers a kiss on the cheek, and the generosity of the people from this island has been beyond amazing. The lessons for surfing and all the surf boards were donated time even as last minute as it was, just because of what CORE stands fore. The amazing things these guys are doing, helps us find something we’ve been missing, and sometimes lost. The Canoe lessons were also free, both times. This has defiantly had an impact on me, and I hope to find a way to pay it forward. God has placed me in paradise at a time in my life when I couldn’t have needed this more.

Finding your center 2

I’m able to close my eyes and see Diamond Head in the distance, across the water the giant peek springs from the ocean towards the sky. Its beauty is unmatched. I can only hope to keep that place in mind, and allow myself to reach back to the moments I gazed upon the stunning sight, and I am able to remember the ocean sounds and breeze, and find a sense of peace. Finding ones center, and reminding myself, there is still beauty in this world, even when we can’t see it.

A little love

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A little love

Wake up in the morning and all you see is death and destruction on the TV. How do we stand the sights we see, and how do we keep living our live the same way? Someone asked me and said why would God allow such tragedies. Someone else told me Sin had nothing to do with this tragedy in Vegas, and that the Bible was a fictional piece of work written by man during a time period to control the masses. While I can argue a whole blog on the validity of the Bible and also Christ, this post will be about doing something. It’s time to stand up and fight back.

Tomorrow can feel to strong, it can feel crushing, and in those times you should fall back and take a breath, pray to Jesus and don’t worry about tomorrow, God’s already there. The Bible shows us the way, and just because we know the way doesn’t mean that path is an easy one to walk.

Waking up in the morning to heartbreak and death even if not related to us, can still affect us. During 9/11 I struggled holding back tears of sadness and anger. A few days ago when I saw the news about Vegas I was sick to my stomach. I had to remind myself that God’s still in control and no matter what happens, I have to understand the puzzle is bigger then me. I may never see or understand the hurt in this world. The only thing I can do is worship to my God that’s still on the throne. When the days are long and the road is still far, worship His holy name. His heart is kind and no matter the horrible things that happen God sees all, He feels all things and even in our suffering God is with us. 2 Corinthians 7:6-7 “But God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the coming of Titus, 7 and not only by his coming but also by the comfort with which he was comforted by you, as he told us of your longing, your mourning, your zeal for me, so that I rejoiced still more.” Knowing that the Christ, the Savior of our sins came and bled and died for us. This should provide comfort knowing that tomorrow will come.

In our time of grief let go of the hate, let go of the fear, let go of the war mongering. Playing political cards for political gain isn’t appropriate. At some point a conversation will be had, but in the mean time, it’s time to heal. Ask God for guidance and allow room in your broken heart. When your heart is in pieces, and the darkness feels like it’s filling up your mind, when you need a helping hand, put a little love in your heart.

“If you want the world to know

We won’t let hatred grow

Put a little love in your heart

And the world will be a better place

And the world will be a better place

For you (for you)

And me (and me)”

“Think of your fellow man,

Lend him a helping hand!”

The world can be such a better place for you and me if we just love the love scripture speaks of. Love concurs all, and we just need to push past the hate, push past the lies the deceit and when we can do that we might be able to overcome some of the worlds problems. Put a little love in your heart.

22279259_10159298296620304_4133294_oNo matter if you’re feelin blue, always be true to you, gotta find some joy and happiness. When you’re feelin low take it nice and slow. When the days are hard, always take a start, and feel the love. Put it all away when your feelin gray, and put a little love in your heart.

 

 

Don’t Be Cruel

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Don’t Be Cruel

How do we treat others? How do we treat our spouses, or our friends? How do we treat our fellow neighbors? People are so easily provoked, so easily angered and brought to arguments. The world can be a cruel place with an unforgiving regiment of attacks. The pain that can be caused by our friends, or loved ones, the falling of the sky on our heads can leave you with little to no hope. When you cold, when you feel lost, when you feel helpless, when you feel hopeless and helpless, the truth is you’ve been let down. While people are fallible, to stand by and watch as someone is overcome with pain, sorrow, or grief, makes you just as responsible. In everything we do we are supposed to raise up our fellow man, our brothers and sisters in all of humanity. It’s the genuine love, the attention that we give to the hurting, the downtrodden that gives us our best hope. Jesus Christ is the one hope we have, but as Christians we are supposed to be showing the love Christ shared with us.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;[a] 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.8 Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.” Human beings are often cruel, and unforgiving. The world is the way it is because we have failed to realize the simple nature of being kind and loving one another.

Cruelty plagues our planet and all the pain and suffering that is not sickness based is brought on by someone cruelty or malice. A lack of love, a lack of empathy, a lack of sympathy for fellow man is why we have divorce, murder, theft, and so many single parents in our society. Elvis Presley sang the song Don’t Be Cruel and in this song is the line “Baby, if I made you mad for something I might have said, Please, let’s forget the past, the future looks bright ahead, Don’t be cruel to a heart that’s true. I don’t want no other love, Baby it’s just you I’m thinking of.” Put simply he’s asking her to forgive any wrong doings and allow love to be what’s important. Forgiveness is something our society has forgotten. We stay angry over small stupid things and we make it seem like forgiveness is something that’s to be earned, not given. We as a people cannot ever do enough to earn the forgiveness of Jesus Christ, and yet, here we are a forgiven people from the most heinous crimes, and foolish acts. We will never be worthy of God’s love, and thus, someone may never be worthy of our love, or our forgiveness, but as Christ loved and forgave us, we too must learn to love and forgive those who wrong us. Love holds no score, and does not hold onto the past.

We can’t allow cruelty to remain in our hearts. If we are to be Christian we must let go of the anger we hold onto, we must learn to forgive more freely. The cost of not forgiving is too high, and those who hold onto the anger and fail to forgive are casting their own future in cement. When we ask God why we haven’t received his blessing, why we haven’t received our prayers, we must see if first we are in compliance with Mark 11:25 “And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.” If we fail to forgive, we won’t be forgiven. When we fail to love it breaks us down and like a wound that goes untreated it festers into anger and hatred. Loving is hard, and true love is even harder. Loving is allowing your old self to be burnt away, and what rises from the ashes is the new person you’ve become. When two people go through this burning away of your old selves, the people who rise up from the ashes are bonded in a very special way. While love isn’t easy, it’s important to have and to find. Loving others can be a challenge when they’ve done harm. Forgiveness is the key to happiness, and love is the key to life. Learn how to do these and let go of cruelty, let go of hate, and malice, and you too will learn the secret to happiness, God’s love and sacrifice for us.

 

 

 

Through the Wilderness

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Through the Wilderness

We trek and we wander, but do we ever know what we are looking for, what we are hoping for? The life of a broken man the pains the suffering are only a part of the trials. A man of dignity will slow down and in times of trouble ask God for direction. A man will be calm in the storm, cool in the fire, strong when others are weak. A true man will be a leader when times call for it. The never-ending supply of love and guidance from God will always get the faithful through the toughest of situations.

In a lot of early tribes a boy was placed in the wilderness and tested to survive. This test of bravery, intuition, resourcefulness, and a will to survive is what they determined a man. Today, we no longer have these rights of passage. A boy turns 18 and poof, he’s a man. No test of bravery, of skills, just an age. Sadly today, we call a man, a man, but often, they don’t act like a man, but a boy instead.

Today a male will lay with a female and when she gets pregnant the boy will leaver her high and dry. Being able to make a child does not make you a man, taking care of your responsibilities, being a father to your child, that’s what makes you a man.

Sometimes bad things happen, and sometimes people make bad choices. Even when there is a difference of opinion, or a falling out, how you move forward how you behave in the day-to-day decisions will tell the world the type of people you are. I asked a friend yesterday in fact, “In our life, how often does someone view us as the villain in our story?” I find that to be an interesting conundrum. A matter of opinion, perspective can change how someone is viewed. I am of firm belief that when the majority sides with you you’re probably doing it right. What do we do when we are tested, when we are baited to stoop to someone’s level, how will we manage the temptation. It’s easy to let selfishness, greed, wants and self gratification take over and drive you from decision to decision.

I never imagined seeing the downward spiral so closely in my life. The evil deeds of someone can easily come about anytime. It’s a hard balance to know the monster from within can surface at any time. It’s so important to maintain a sense of dignity and Christian moral values in times of stress and distress. Proverbs 6:12-16 “A worthless person, a wicked man, goes about with crooked speech, winks with his eyes, signals with his feet, points with his finger, with perverted heart devises evil, continually sowing discord; therefore calamity will come upon him suddenly; in a moment he will be broken beyond healing. There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him:” God does not approve of evil or wicked actions. Ecclesiastes 12:14 “For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil.”

 Some day you and all will have to answer for your sins. Each and every thought, every action, will be accounted for at the Day of Judgment. When you are standing before God and you realize you’ve done wrong that is too late. You must repent prior to death. Acts 3:19 “Repent therefore, and turn again, that your sins may be blotted out,” No one is free from knowing their sins and doing the sinful nature anyway. “17 So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.” Time on earth is finite. We never know how long we have, but if we wait till our dying breath, saying you’re sorry isn’t the same as repenting. Repenting is actually changing behavior. One of my best friends and my Pastor put it this way, “Anyone can say they are sorry and mean it to a degree. Repentance is an action in which you take steps specifically to right the wrong that was committed to the best of your ability. I can say I’m sorry I broke your Arrow Funko Pop. Repentance is replacing it with a new one plus Slade, and specifically not breaking something else of yours again.” (Rev. Glen Newsome, Jr.) How many times have you or someone you know apologized and went right on doing the same behavior they just said they were sorry for? In time that ‘sorry’ no longer means as much as it once had.

Sadly, as we find our way through the wilderness of life we must learn to grow into manhood, womanhood, but also grow in our faith and live our lives as good faithful Christians. No matter the hurt someone places on you, forgiveness is not optional. It doesn’t matter if there is an apology or repentance. Forgiveness is something we are told we must do and do with all our hearts. Never forget that.

The Empty Cup

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The Empty Cup

The world is full of people. Wasn’t sure if you knew that yet, so now that the obvious is out of the way let’s continue. Generally the world is made up of people who are optimistic, pessimistic, or somewhere in between. So for the sake of today’s entry, the people in between likely won’t be touched on much.

Optimistic: hopeful and confident about the future.

Pessimistic: tending to see the worst aspect of things or believe that the worst will happen.

Realist: a person who accepts a situation as it is and is prepared to deal with it accordingly.

Idealist: a person who is guided more by ideals than by practical considerations.

So, now we have that out of the way, where are you? I myself would fall more into the optimistic realist. I’m usually the one planning for a disaster just in case (living in NC you have hurricanes) and because of that I did well for the little time I worked on emergency management policies. I’ve always wanted to try and give people the benefit of the doubt, even to the extent of giving people more chances then they probably deserve and forgiving the horrible things people do quickly and putting it behind me. Sadly I often find myself in a conundrum of allowing someone to overstay their welcome in my life. Generally I get hurt more often by continuing that policy.

If you were the cup where do you stand? If you’ve answered that question let me ask another. In regards to the same cup using it as a source of measurement, where do you place yourself in regards to how much you can take before you bite someone’s head off? I heard it explained this way (if you’re a veteran and you’ve gone through some life events you might be more susceptible to having your cup be half full all the time verses someone else who has had less to deal with in life.)

It is my opinion we should all try to be the empty cup. Allow the Holy Spirit to fill your cup. Being hopeful for a Gods grace gives us the ability to be an optimist. Being a realist gives us the standing of bracing for trouble because you know it’s coming. No matter what happens in your life scripture tells us to rejoice in our suffering. Do not be troubled by worries of tomorrow. Have faith in Gods plan for you. Be slow to anger and slow to speak, swift to listen. When you truly read and study scripture it seems God wants us to be the optimistic realist. We must understand the nature of our trials. We must understand the reason we go through hardships and loss. We must understand the virtue of failure, and the glory that awaits us in success.

Without failure how do you ever grow and learn? Without loss how do you ever appreciate what you have? Our experience both good and bad shape who we are. If you take a set of twins, identical, and put them in several situations, then separate them and place them in the exact same situations, they will react differently. Each perspective over time teaches us different ways to handle situations. The problem we often face is when handling our problems are we doing it in a way that would be pleasing no to God? For most the answer is probably a resounding no. It’s amazing how different we would handle life if we were to just take a moment, pray about it, ask God for guidance, and question if our actions would be pleasing to God. A simple question and most people, myself included, fail to do this more often than not.

What a simple solution to a lot of problems, prayer and counsel. If we learned how to do that, our fuses would be longer, we wouldn’t start with so much in our cup, and the world would be an overall better place. I know many of my past burdens stay with me. As I’ve tried to let go, that burden takes up space in my cup. I don’t start with more room then a lot of people. It’s not something that would happen over night. The path to a solid faith takes time. If we put even a half of the time towards God that we do with other worldly objectives, we as a people would be much better off. Sadly there are idols that stand in our way. Things that have our attention, our lust, often they take our priority.

We don’t want to be angry all the time. We don’t want to be negative all the time. Those mind sets often put people off and you create a natural barrier. We need to remember the teachings in Christ, and follow that example. We must find the good in every situation, find the reasonable course of action and we must pray, and be calm. Don’t let your cup start with water in it. Don’t let your cup always be half empty. Learn to focus your energies and when people start to see the positivity, the slow to wrath within you, only then will people begin to ask “What keeps you so calm?” That’s when you can always reply… “Jesus”

A Multitude of Sins

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A Multitude of Sins

Here I sit alone in almost complete silence. The teal glow on the wall from the lava lamp, and the glow from the computer screen are the only lights on in the house. There’s no music on, no television, just a fan in the dining room I can hear. The sounds of the keys being clicked own is loud in the silence of the house. Occasionally I can hear one of the dogs yawning, or licking their paw, but it’s quiet.

What do we do when we are alone in the dark, no sounds, just the sound of our own thoughts? Where does your mind take you? Mine takes me to a place darker then that of my home right now, a multitude of sins and mistakes. How did I get here my mind asks. How has my life turned out this way, and where the heck do I go form here? The truth is I don’t know. People ask me every day what’s the plan, where are you going to go, what are you going to do? You see, people that know me best know me as the planner. In an earlier post I talked about your emergency preparedness kit and some of what’s in my hiking bag. For the first time in my life I don’t have a plan. I haven’t had a plan since September 18th 2016. That day all of my sins came to the surface, they came with a reckoning, a force strong enough to knock me off my balance and shake the very foundation in which I built my life. Up till that point in my life I had found myself to be relatively successful. I was happily married, doing well at work, doing great in school, working towards a baby, everything I wanted in life. I had the greatest in-laws anyone could ever hope for, a great sister in law, but fate it seems follows it’s own course, not what we want. In just a matter of a short bit of time everything I loved, the life I spent years building would crumble around me and I would loose everything. The foundation cracked and a cavern opened up under me and swallowed me whole. At the time I felt as if I’d never get out. At the time I felt that my pain, my suffering was the end of me and sadly, wrongly, I felt as if I deserved it. I felt as if my sins were coming back and I had to pay for them. I felt as if I deserved to suffer, to undergo pain and suffering.

A life of trauma built up and tucked away in a nice tidy little closet, away from the world so no one would see. The pain inside buried so deep that the mask I wore every day was good enough to fool even those closest to me. So many times I felt the sorrow the shame bubbling up from the deepest pits within myself, and as skillfully as a superhero beats down a lowly thug, I put that stop in the rising pain, and forced it to return back to the darkest places of my very soul. Compartmentalization is such a wonderful tool when dealing with pain. It can be very helpful as a short term coping mechanism but when used for trauma, the idea is to revisit the trauma soon after the crisis is over, and face the memory head on to come to grips with it. The trouble with that is when the day never comes to revisit, it’s locked away, never forgotten, but never addressed either.

What do we do when the foundation we built our very existence crumbles and falls apart? When our foundation is not as solid as we thought it was, and our deepest fears come true? When everything we’ve ever wanted is taken away, when our deepest fear is realized, and every trauma we’ve ever buried breaks out of prison with an angry vengeance the perfect storm is realized and bad terrible things happen to our minds.

When the hurricane hit me I wasn’t able to maintain my footing. I didn’t know what to do, where to go, how to handle, the one and only thing I knew was the word STOP. I knew it had to stop. I felt I deserved what happened to me. I felt I had a right to the pain because I had sinned. I had never lived up to be what I should have, and I earned my place. The memory slipped away after actions were taken. What happened to me? What was going to happen to me? So quickly control was fleeting, a wild chaos was quickly snapped back to a hazy reality but not without consequence. No one ever warned us this might happen. No one ever taught us the repercussions of a lifetime of running. You can’t run forever, sooner or later the past will catch up to you and when it does, it wants its payment with interest.

It would take months to realize the new reality, which was my life. It would take only days to realize how bad of a decision that had been made without conscious control. We all have to answer for our sins, and we all have to pay for them. The hard part about dealing with what we’ve done is forgiving ourselves. For me it’s always been easier to forgive others for the bad things they’ve done, but to forgive myself, you’d have better luck pulling a tooth from a T-Rex. I can never take back what happened that day, but to understand more then just the surface problem, to see beyond the facts of that day, it takes a deeper look into the human soul.

As we walk in our lives we see those around us who get caught in addiction, self-harm, physical disorders such as eating disorders, but do we ever try to address the problem? The problem on the surface is the immediate issue, but the problem I’m talking about is that below, the root of the problem. When people suffer for a long time even when we cannot see it, it can often manifest itself in ways to run and hide from the source. Eventually running is all we know. Eventually that life becomes a new reality a safe comfortable reality in our own minds. Even if from the outside it looks destructive and harmful, no doubt it is destructive and harmful, but life itself is often through the eyes of the beholder.

Survivors of alcoholism, or self-harm, suicide attempts, addictions to sleeping bills or other drugs, they know the route, but it’s everyone around that becomes the new problem. How many spectators become judgmental of the victim? Let’s use suicide as an example. If someone tries to end their life, what is the normal reaction from those around? Some are in shock and disbelief, others flock to the person showering with love and sympathy, but there are others who feel anger and distain. Suicide is often looked to as the coward’s way out, the easy way out. The anger comes from the idea that it hurts the ones who are left behind. So suicide is often known as selfish. The problem with today’s society is a lack of education on various mental health problems. There are a lot of assumptions and negative connotations that exist that doesn’t make them true. As a society we need to learn to answer pain with Love, answer hurt with Love. We’ve become so quick to push people away who cause pain, but never ask if the pain was intentional. Let me tell you, if someone’s facing addiction, or suicide, you are the last person on his or her minds. Some may leave a note behind, but the idea is never to inflict harm on others, albeit the end result is pain and suffering. Ironic that the idea to end ones own pain and suffering it will inflict that upon others, and yet that thought never crosses the victims mind. Colossians 3:12 “12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” We know that when there is pain doctors are compassionate towards the victims, EMS have a bedside manner of caring and love, but when someone in our family or friends harms themselves anger, and venomous reactions take the stage. Isaiah 49:13 “13 Shout for joy, you heavens; rejoice, you earth; burst into song, you mountains! For the LORD comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones.” God knows when to be compassionate and when to be hard on his children. Psalm 51:1 “1 Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions.” Is it so hard to forgive others? Is it so hard to realize we all make mistakes and we all harm one another at some point in our lives? Forgiveness isn’t something that is supposed to take time, (realizing this is the reality) it’s something that is supposed to come from the heart. Luke 23:34 “34 Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.”

We must learn to dig deeper to see the why and not just assume. We must learn to Love first and have compassion to those in pain. We must learn to forgive and understand the sinful nature of mankind. These things are not easy, but are necessary. No matter what the world says about some stigmas the facts remain in scripture. Education is the key to being a compassionate person, understanding the driving forces behind a particular mindset can not only give you incite, but help when you come face to face with it yourself. We all know someone who’s tried to commit suicide, became addicted to something, had some sort of mental health crisis, but do we really ever know the why, or the how? How did we treat them when the initial crisis had passed? Our jobs as a Church body is to love, have compassion, not to tare down someone after they already hit rock bottom. Love not hate, it really isn’t that hard with practice.

If you are the surviver of such an addiction, or suicide attempt, know that tomorrow the day can be brighter. As the Book of Job teaches us no matter how bad a situation may look at the time, tomorrow, God can bless us and change our future in an instant. We must maintain love and faith in God, in both or blessings, and our hardships.

 

 

 

There’s no need for that

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There’s no need for that

We never know how long someone’s a major part of our lives. We never know when things will drive a wedge and crumble. Smile and say goodbye. That’s about all we can do. People come and go and we don’t know why. We don’t know the roll they will play but for every trumpet solo another ensemble will pop up and take the new lead. Have faith and pray for them. Do not be mad or dismayed. It hurts for sure, but life keeps going, and it all works out according to Gods plan.

Sometimes we can make a life changing decision without thought of the consequences. The sad truth is sometimes we can feel so lost, so distraught, so alone, even if it’s just in our own minds, for some it’s near impossible to know the road that leads up to someone who’s either attempted or succeeded in suicide. Some consider suicide a coward’s way out. While I couldn’t disagree more, I know from personal experience how traumatic the experience is for everyone involved. There is a sense of betrayal and selfish thoughts that come from the ones left behind. I myself have both lost loved ones, and have almost lost loved ones. While suicide isn’t as simple as cowardice or weak, the truth is slightly different and as there is research upon research for suicide, one common theme is seen. “In general, people do not commit suicide because they are in pain, they commit suicide because they don’t believe there is a reason to live and the world will be better off without them. “ (PsychologyToday.com) Of course it’s not always as simple as a common road map. “By dealing with deep distress and emotional pain by harming yourself with acts such as cutting, burning, sticking objects in your skin, or intentionally preventing wounds from healing, you are becoming increasingly capable of suicide.” Just because there is not or has not been past evidence of harm, doesn’t mean that enough buried pain, enough buried guilt, and sorrow, can’t be enough to have someone take their own life, or inflict extreme harm upon one’s self.

Most people have a fight or flight response, a natural inclination for self-preservation. If life offers so much pain, so much suffering, so much despair to override a basic biological urge to preserve ones self from harm or death, why then is it so hard for people to realize the courage it takes, the passion it takes to do such things to ones self. No, when someone is feeling that much despair the thoughts of loved ones, consider how they would feel if you were gone, is not usually a thought, thought of. Quite honestly often times when someone kills himself or herself they believe they are doing the world a favor. Sometimes the act is brought on so quickly no warning signs are present.

Does this mean someone’s anger gives them right to do whatever they want to the victim of self-harm? Why do people recoil instead of showering the victim in love? Why do people choose to hate or anger over love? Instead of asking ‘how could you leave me?’ ask instead ‘why did you feel so alone and hopeless?’ When someone attempts self-harm it isn’t about narcissism. Sometimes when a person has a long history of bullying, quick and sudden relationship changes, traumatic experiences, loneliness, eating disorders, existential crisis, and more, can be reasons someone who undergoes an unexpected trauma can attempt self-harm.

We should not judge to harshly about those who suffer. Instead follow the teachings of Christ, to love. People who are going through enough pain and suffering need a loving embrace more so then most. The battle does not end when the victim is released from the hospital. The battle continues and can be a long-term continuation of care. A person who looses enough self respect to loose logic, and life needs to be held and loved, not treated with anger and hatred.

There is already too much hatred in this world. People are so quick to use foul language, quick to cause pain on people around us. It is often easier to let anger and loathing dictate our emotions when some emotions are already heightened. When we are stressed and aggravated why are some so easily provoked?

Yesterday while I work, I witnessed a coworker trying to be nice, and helpful, courteous and understanding and all he got in return was distain and swear words. Sadly it came from both a mother and her teenage daughter. So many other parents noted how well my colleague handled the situation and all who witnessed told me about how well he did and had nothing but high praise. Something so simple, something so simple yet others seem to have a hard time with it, nice, kindness, these things almost seem like a distant memory.

Sadly in my own life I’ve witnessed more hatred in others then I’d care to admit for this world. Recent events in my life point me to the Book of Job. A man who looses everything in his life, his wife, children, home, wealth, his own health, all taken from him. The thing that surprised me most about it was how his friends treated him. I never put much stock in that part until it happened to me. Through the trials I’ve been through, and the unfortunate ‘drama’ as of late, I always figured I could count on my friends. As we all do, mistakes were made on my part, but I never once thought a friend would use that as the catalyst to blame me for all of my ongoing pains in my life. My unfortunate circumstance is why that friend distanced themselves from me, because they didn’t want or need it in their life. A friend who isn’t directly involved decided to be more of a conditional friend to me. When the times get tough, call me later. As the conversation progressed I learned the sad truth, that friend holds a lot of anger towards me because of something that happened 8 months ago. It’s a sad day when you must say goodbye, when it’s best for all parties to bid adieu.

We all make mistakes in our life and some of them are big enough to haunt us the rest of our days. Let me tell you this, if a friend can’t see the pain inside you, can’t see how much suffering you’re in, it’s because they don’t want to. If a friend can’t forgive you for a mistake, something that would have changed the course of a life, it’s a sad day. You may loose friends because of these types of days, but God will never leave or forsake you.

One Step Away by: Casting Crowns

 

What if you could go back and relive one day of your life all over again

And unmake the mistake that left you a million miles away

From the you, you once knew

Now yesterday’s shame keeps saying that you’ll never get back on track

But what if I told you

You’re one step away from surrender

One step away from coming home, coming home

One step from arms wide open

His love has never let you go

You’re not alone

You’re one step away

 

You’re never too far-gone, never alone if you just lay down the old chains and pick up the cross and follow Christ. Don’t think for one second you’re alone. No matter what there are people who can help you. There are so many crisis lines, so many organizations who want to help. If you’re low and thinking about suicide or self harm pick up the phone. If you’re battling depression or anxiety, there are those who know that pain and are always willing to share and talk.

No matter the road you may be on, there’s always hope if that road is full of unhappiness. Don’t loose hope and never quit. God is bigger and better then we could ever hope or imagine. It’s not something that is easy, but with time and practice life gets better. Be proactive and take charge. Shed a life of negativity for one of hope and love. Live by faith, and understand Gods glory.

If you are bullied, picked on, teased, insulted, remember that as much as those things hurt, there’s a way out. Jesus Christ endured all of those things, until he was murdered brutally for us. He suffered torture that could only be described as the worlds hatred and malice in one long excruciating beating that nearly left him dead. He was mocked as he struggled to carry the cross to his final resting place. He was placed on a cross were breathing would be unbearable. He was mocked and yet while this was happening he had the strength to ask God to forgive us. Forgive one another for the things we do. Love one another and don’t keep score of the bad. Just love. Don’t let anger and hatred fill your soul like a cancer. Love and believe. Look to the heavens and see the light shine through the clouds and know the clouds will be burned away and all that’s left is the sun.

 

References:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/curious/201405/why-do-people-kill-themselves-new-warning-signs

http://mentalhealthdaily.com/2014/07/23/15-common-causes-of-suicide-why-do-people-kill-themselves/