Join me as we do a short podcast; talking about our witness, and keeping forgiveness in our hearts.
The Arrow Preacher Podcast: Friday: Protecting Our Witness Podcast
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Tag: Anger
Of Course I’m Angry
Of Course I’m Angry
The world has been unkind. It’s been cruel and without fail the wolves come and attack by night. The enemy has burnt down my castle, and has taken nearly everything I’ve held most dear, more than once. I was angry as a kid with no where to put it. The anger stayed inside and the gauge continued to rise without a relief valve. That angry kid internalized so much but instead of being angry it turned into self-loathing. I believed for so many years being angry was a bad and wrong thing of me. I felt as if my anger was viewed as a weakness, and I didn’t have any good reason to be angry. The truth is I had every right to be angry, and as normal as anger is be it’s important to know how to manage that anger. Where do we direct our anger when it comes? Do we store it inside for use later? I want to tell you a little story about someone who’s angry but it’s based on a selfish desire and what he did with his anger.
If you were Lucifer and you were angry at God for being banished from paradise and cast down to earth to roam unable to return home wouldn’t you be upset? Wouldn’t you hate God’s children that took so much attention from the Father? Whether the Angels were created as servants or children the effect is the same. Lucifer was created to be the most beautiful of all the Angels and his pride caused the rebellion and the fall. Attacking God’s children in Adam & Eve was a sure way to get God’s attention. Who is truly the angry one here? When you start feeling self-loathing, and anger, and hatred, who has the most to gain? Misery loves company, and if Satan, once the most beautiful of all God’s creations fell from grace never to return to perfection, that pride, that anger, that bitterness, no one wants to be alone. Satan draws you in to his own pain, and it’s not you, it’s him.
It’s Not Me It’s You
Let’s get the story straight
You were a poison
You flooded through my veins
You left me broken
You tried to make me think
That the blame was all on me
With the pain you put me through
And now I know that it’s not me it’s you (you)
It’s not me it’s you (you)
Always has been you
All the lies and stupid things you say and do
It’s you (you)
It’s not me it’s you (you)
All the lies and pain you put me through
I know that it’s not me it’s you
Satan chose to be King of the earth rather than a servant in Heaven. He has a legion of fallen Angels at his side and his anger, and cruelty and malice spread across the earth as a plague. The enemy and the legions that follow are in every ear, every whisper, every discouraging comment, and all the route of a single act of sinful pride. As Lucifer fell his turn to the dark side became complete. Any good that may have remained in him turned bitter, cold, in essence he became the antitheses of God, which God’s complete power. God’s grace, and love, and mercy for mankind, Lucifer turned Satan held the antitheses of these things, malevolence, hatred, and cruelty towards mankind. The perception that Satan was able to do a better Job then God himself led Satan to betray God, which of course God knew from the beginning. An angry child throwing a temper tantrum is how I put it before. Lucifer once hailed as the definition of beauty, now scorched and his anger fuels the hatred and rage that runs over all of us every day.
Yes I was a kid when so many horrible things happened to me, and then as time went on more things would happen in my adult life. I found myself angry, and bitter, and the monster that was inside of me longed to escape. While any reasonable person could look at my life and understand why I’d be angry, the truth is, anger isn’t healthy to hold on to. I was wrong for so many years to let it stick with me. I watched as that anger turned inward and became the root of my self worth’s destruction. I feel rejection deeply, a blow that can often bring me to my knees. As rejection has become such a big part of my life, I hurt deeply when it happens. I have a hard time not blaming myself when others feel the desire to walk away. My mind tells me it’s my fault no one loves me. My mind tells me it’s me, and I must be worthless. I’m not strong enough to manage the pain inside, and I’m weak for feeling this way. All lies.
Jesus Christ, the son of the Father, became sin so we would not have to bare the burden of death. Jesus was an act of love and mercy, and if we were not worthy of God’s love, if we were not important to God, we would not have been saved. We are the multitude of God’s creation, and we were so loved, meaning we were so important to God, that we were given the gift of Jesus Christ to pay our ransom, our very own individual ticket to Heaven. If we want to be angry, bitter, and full of hate, have you taken a moment to ask where that came from? Satan wants control, he wants us to feel the darkness that he has fully embraced. Satan wasn’t rejected because of who he was, he was rejected by himself. He choose to rebel against God of his own selfish pride. He may not have known the true ramifications of his actins, but with the multitude of millions of fallen angels around the world, it’s no wonder anger and hatred has spread. As we become more disconnected with God we don’t feel his grace and mercy like we once had. As we pass laws to criminalize the Christian faith, we will see the darkness continue to spread over the land.
There is hope however, knowing that Jesus Christ is more powerful than the world. Jesus is sovereign over the heavens and Satan while his rule on earth is temporary, which will never amount to anything in the end. All the souls lost have joined the eternal damnation that will follow. Again, misery loves company. It wasn’t enough that Satan doomed the legion of fallen angels to eternal destruction, but Satan wants you to join him. What are you really angry about? Are you angry that God didn’t give you that pony when you were 13? Are you angry you missed out on that promotion at work, or that your spouse had an affair? If you’re going to be angry at anything be angry that Satan has his hands around your loved ones. Be angry that Satan fills this world with lies to fuel his own sick, demented desires. Be angry that Satan is taking lives meant for Heaven and dooming them into a pit of despair. It’s okay to be angry, just make sure you use that anger for the glory of God, and realize whom the true enemy is.
Don’t let anger consume you. Don’t walk the path of darkness, do not hold onto the hatred that fills your soul. As Yoda once said, “Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.” If God, the one who created the Heavens and the Earth loved us so much, how can we be angry? We must lift up our hearts, to the one who holds the stars. We must trust in the goodness of this world because there is still light left. We must reject sin with malice. We must choose love over anger. Don’t be like me, don’t hold onto that anger for so long it stains the very core of your heart. Don’t allow anger to take up a permanent residence inside you. Feel the anger, and then let it go. Watch it leave with your breath, and allow the Holy Spirit to breathe inside you cleansing your spirit. Follow God’s word, Gods love, and live that love in your every day. While I have had just cause to be angry, what I didn’t have was the right to stay angry. Now I’m dealing with the self -loathing and self-doubt, and dealing with the stain is worse then getting spaghetti sauce on a white tablecloth. I have hated what I became, and as I kept it secret for many years, now it’s time to destroy that monster inside.
We must understand that to fight the darkness, it’s to fundamentally change how we view the world. We must understand who we are in this place, and realize the world’s lies to us, and about us, do not define who we are. We must trust in God’s love, and not doubt our creator. If we believe that God is perfect, and His plan is perfect, then we must believe that we are exactly who we because it’s what God wanted. We have the choice how to allow the world to affect us, and if we choose to let the world lie to us, beat us down, make us angry, that’s a personal choice, and not what God wanted. Don’t get me wrong, anger is a healthy emotion, even Christ showed anger. God has displayed anger, and we too are given the emotion for a reason, but don’t allow that to consume you, to control you. You are in control of your emotions when you acknowledge them and deal with them. It’s okay to face the darkness, just don’t become the darkness.
Accused and Apathy
Accused and Apathy:
Recently I was accused of being a bad friend. I was accused of not being a good Christian man. If we’re honest about the good and bad in life I will say I am human and I will always fall short. Now, that being said I will always admit to my mistakes, but these recent accusations were completely and utterly unfounded. People often say things under the umbrella of emotions and when they do there’s really no telling what may come out.
Often when the truth is uttered those who hear and feel a conviction will lash out in anger. They are not slow to speak and they cause destruction left behind after the sound waves of their voice subsides. The wicked tongue is plentiful today. It’s all around us in the music we listen to on the radio, the movies and TV shows we watch, and even the voices heard in our very homes. Proverbs 21:23“Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.” No one seems to care anymore that communication is slowly dying. I’ve watched as excuse after excuse comes across my phone screen as to why a message was ignored for days, weeks, and sometimes longer. I’ve gotten every manner of excuses and while some are absolutely legitimate others are not. My biggest frustration is when I get the simple excuse I’ve just been busy. This verbiage, busy, doesn’t usually mean busy, it means ‘you weren’t a priority.’ Thus the excuse given really comes from a place of apathy. For those of you who don’t know what that means, I’ll give you the definition, Apathy: lack of interest, enthusiasm, or concern. There was no concern on how someone would feel being left hanging, dangling there for weeks before a response was finally given, and that response never actually held an apology. See, what most people fail to realize is just as dangerous as the tongue is, as it’s probably the most dangerous weapon on the planet, it has the power to build, or destroy. Matthew 15:11“It is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth; this defiles a person.”
I have a good friend who has a few kids. He has often told me about his policy with the kids, the punishment for wrong doing will be equal to the crime, but the punishment for a lie on top of the crime, much more severe. This makes sense because we as Christians know we will make mistakes. We know that it’s not about if we screw up but when. The thing with those mistakes is using the tongue along with actions to try and make amends for that mistake. So many people are afraid to stand up and speak the truth, but more are perfectly content living in a world where they never have to face the consequences of their actions. So many now lash out, out of anger and never fully see the ramifications of those words because now everything is done over non-verbal, or vocal communications. People now are so quick to anger, so quick to shoot off a ill thought out text that things are said without thought, and likewise in that anger it’s so easy to hit a couple buttons and poof, that persons gone from your life. People in droves make rash, hurtful remarks and then run away before any defense can be made, thus destroying the very foundation of friendships, and relationships. Proverbs 12:18“There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”
Proverbs 18:21“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” When we consider the power of the tongue and what we say, how it affects people in our life, we hold such power just a few inches from our brains. Many have little concern now about who they hurt, what they say, or why. On top of a lack of caring how our words affect people, the effect goes far beyond just what we say. A general apathy has sprung up in people all over the world. Since we have gotten to the point now where we don’t care what we say, how we say it, the other side of that coin is we don’t truly care about others. I’ve been in the online dating world for quite some time now, and I have noted on multiple occasions in the last 24 months that people just stopped caring about anyone but themselves. There’s no thought to the curtsey given to how we treat people. We ignore messages, we lie about the excuses to cause long delays in communications, and that’s if communication doesn’t stop abruptly without warning. I’ve always prided myself as being a very understanding person. I’ve watched people do horrible things that affected me and it wasn’t the mistake that hurt the most, it was lying to me about it. If someone doesn’t have the desire to have fluid communication often, a simple text to inform me of that would go a long way. James 3:10“From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so.” When will we finally realize how our words and actions affect other people?
Something I’ve often wondered is when we are quick to anger and that anger leads to a wicked tongue, how then can that very same person say to the accused “You’re not a Christian man?” I have pondered this very thing for a little while now, and as I’ve gone back over conversations for a long while involving many people, I have come to a sad realization; the term Christian is perhaps the worst Apathy of all. How many Christians or self proclaimed Christians are there all over the world? How many of them would say, “I’m Christian, but it’s not important.”? How many would say they are Christian on Christmas, Easter, and maybe one or two sprinkled in the rest of the year? We see less then 19% of Christians now are involved Christians meaning, fewer then 19% open and read there Bibles more then 3 times a week, most far less if ever. How can someone stand there and pass judgment about doing nothing but stating facts, with no emotional bias, even if those facts don’t show someone in an appealing light? The answer is convictions. When we are confronted with our own shortcomings and we become angry we say and do things that are within its very nature, Sinful. We live in a world where truth is something convenient we don’t like to face.
We’ve become so consumed with self that we have such a deep apathy for other people. We don’t care how we hurt someone, or why. We don’t care to lead someone along only to drop them from the side of the cliff. Apathy my friends is a disease that is plaguing our society. The invention of texts, and online dating have created a gap in the human condition that now allows people to do what they wish and never having to see the fallout from their actions. Being accused recently of being a bad Christian, and treating my friends badly, is obviously coming from someone who is hurting badly themselves. Truth however, no matter how painful is always the best way to go. The truth is, people can be cruel, and manipulative and hold nothing but apathy for you. All we can do is love, pray, and continue to lean on God’s word the best we can. We are people and we will make mistakes. People always need to be forgiven for their trespasses, and thus we must always ask for forgiveness of our trespasses. Never loose sight of the hope that springs in the horizon every day. We may be accused but our accusers who flee before a defense do not seek answers or retribution. Those who spit venom and run away are nothing shy of cowards. Those who hide behind technology afraid to face their own fallout are cowards. Do not worry yourself with these types of people, no, I say to you my brothers and sisters, forever pray that God opens their eyes to see, warms their hearts to feel, and blesses their souls with empathy and love. Are you the sword or just a poor reflection? Don’t loose hope for, while God is still sovereign over all, there will always be hope.
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Bullies
Bullies
Sometimes in life you will encounter a person in power and they will be more or less a bully. I’ve been in situations where I’ve had bosses or supervisors that no matter what I’ve done or tried to do, nothing was ever good enough. I think we’ve all encountered people in our professional lives that just made the work experience near unbearable. A friend recently told me, “you don’t quit jobs, you quit managers.” I had never thought of leaving a job like that before. When I put a little thought into it, I realize that most of the time when I have not liked a job, it turned out to be the boss that made it the worst.
The Devil is a bully. He will push you, lie to you, and attempt to break you. The Devil hates you for all that you are. Isn’t it wonderful though that we have a God that loves us for who we are? We never have to work for that love. We’re not judged with how much we work, or how many brownie points we can get. God is fully aware of what’s in our heart and our motives. It’s the love that matters.
When you encounter a bully in your life there are millions of ways people will tell you to handle them. In my own life I have heard the, ‘just ignore them.’ Advice. I have heard the, ‘make fun of yourself right along with the bully,’. I have heard ‘stand up for yourself, by any means necessary.’ While each one of these is very popular, I would suggest turning to the bible to find your true good advice Matthew 5:43-48“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’44 But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. 46 For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47 And if you greet only your brothers,[a] what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? 48 You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” We cannot allow ourselves to loose sight of God. We must not allow ourselves to succumb to the darkness. Anger, and hate lead to the dark side. We must stand firm. We must never loose control in anger. 2 Timothy 1:7“7 for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”
It’s easy to get wrapped up in our anger and that anger can blind us to the path that’s best for us. That anger and rage that can bubble up from years of torment, or physiological torture, can be hard to control. We must never set out to find our own vengeance though. Violence always begets violence. We cannot expect to change the world by physical means. Romans 12:19-20 “19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it[a] to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” 20 To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” If your bully attacks you, ask if you can pray for them. If they attack you, ask if everything’s okay at home. Bullies often have misguided anger or rage. Do not hate the bully nor pass judgment upon them. We never know someone’s circumstances, and while it never excuses their actions, it may provide some incite. Generally, hurting people hurt others. We cannot allow ourselves to let our tormentors to breach our heart with hate. We must not allow hate to take route in our souls. 1 John 2:9 “Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness.”
We must stand firm on love. Let love be our war cry and in everything we do, and everything we experience trust in the Lord to save you, and pull you through. Psalm 18:3 I ” call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies.” We have to trust in the Lord to deliver us from evil. There will always be bullies for as long as there is anger and hate in this world. Bullies feel the need to be in power. Bullies feel the need to be in control and those in control often feel they have to force their subordinates into submission. Matthew 5:38-41“I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies.” The bullies we have will beat you and hurt you emotionally. They will continue to try to break you down and look forward to seeing you breaking.
We have all encountered these people in our lives. Many have experienced bullying in school, and some in the adult world. Those difficult people are everywhere and in our struggle we must pray to be delivered from the hands of the enemy. Psalm 82:4 “Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked.” No matter the trials that befall you, you get back up and never let your own worth reside by the hands of your enemies. We must remain strong, and trust that we are worth more then what others can make us feel. Proverbs 24:16“for the righteous falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked stumble in times of calamity.” We must always get back up. We know that for every fall we rise in strength, and we can be stronger then before if we learn a lesion with each fall. Finally I will say do not attack your attacker. We must learn and I must reiterate the importance to not attack your attacker. I am not saying do not defend yourself in the event there is a physical altercation, but what I am saying is never attack out of anger. If you are being physically assaulted you should leave that situation and find help, or defend yourself and at the first chance remove yourself from your situation and again go find help. Stand firm in your faith and with love and compassion live your life. 1 Peter 3:8-9“8 Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. 9 Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.”
Tough Changes
Tough Changes
Have you ever been in a situation where you dreaded to face changes? I recently experienced the need to change my cell phone case. It wasn’t allowing me to use the functions as they should have been and it became more of an inconvenience then the protection it added. I think tough changes are hard for many people to go through. Changes at your job can be tough, and stressful. Changing schools can be tough for many. Moving out of your parents house and getting your own place can be an incredibly hard change to go through. All of these things are easy or difficult depending on each individual person. While for each situation everyone’s reaction is drastically different, and while some love change, and others loath it, one of the biggest things to change is our actions.
A popular saying is “some people never change.” Another popular saying is “once a cheater, always a cheater.” While both of these are very popular, how true do you personally think these sayings are? From my personal experience I believe they are right on the money. I think the hardest thing we will ever do is change our personality to change our actions. I’ve always said humanity would never change without a major outside force. I always figured a global extinction event such as asteroid, or drought, or contagion would be the most likely just behind nuclear war. Alien invasion (less likely) could potentially bring humanity together to face a common enemy. That being said, most people do not change without something big, and life changing occurring within their life or someone very close to them. Cancer, or a near death accident has a way to change someone’s perspectives. While we often see a spiritual change in some during these times, it doesn’t always stick. The biggest change most will ever experience is the coming to the savior Jesus Christ. It’s the change in the heart that can change a man completely.
Romans 12:1-2“I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” In the Lord we are born anew. In the Holy Spirit the soul is reborn in fire. When the Lord takes hold of our hearts, we cannot not be changed. We must push forward in the Lord and we must face that like the Phoenix, we are reborn in the burning fires of the Lord, and in our new selves we are compelled to repulse the desire of the sinful flesh. 2 Corinthians 5:17“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”
Change isn’t always easy, and even when you begin the following of the Lord, change isn’t always easy even after choosing the Lord. In our struggles though we should turn to our siblings in Christ and ask for them to help keep us accountable and true. We grow and we sprout from seeds in Christ and grow into a wonderful flower. The beauty in this world is only limited by our own stubborn selves. We often want to stay in our struggles because we are unwilling to change our own actions. We must change our lifestyles if we are ever expecting to change our own lives. I have watched my life grow and change in my financial walk with the Lord, my spiritual walk with my God, and even how I treat my friends. While life is full of tough challenges, changing our hearts to follow the Lord, and living in love, and denouncing hate shouldn’t be so hard, but the draw of sin is strong. Keep your faith, and keep your eyes on Jesus and always strive to change yourself to better please the Lord to what we see in scripture. Never give up hope on those around you who may be stuck in sin, and who don’t treat others with respect or love. It
Hope in a Hero
Hope in a Hero
John 16:33“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
Who’s been down to the bottom of the barrel? We all have our struggles and our trials. Have you put your hope or prayers in someone? If you’re anything like me you’ve put your hope and faith in a person and that person dropped the ball. For me, I have been down to the woodshed of life a few times. I’ve been down and broken more then a time or two, but I’ve always managed to get back up. I can honestly say I didn’t get back up on my own. I have struggled with my wounds, and I’ve been struck a time or two. My whole life I wanted a father. My whole life I wanted an earthly father to look up too, someone to teach me what it was to be a man. I have found in my life one man who I had, for a while, then like many others, in the blink of an eye, that man was gone. I placed my faith in a man and when the time came they were gone. I placed my love and faith in a woman and in the blink of an eye she was gone leaving the family broken. My life was shattered and I laid there trying to find who I was. I was a let down to those around me. I was a failure, and a nobody. Recently someone I looked up to told me I was selfish because I needed, wanted a friend to be there for me. Some would say I haven’t learned anything in the last 20 months. While I will admit perhaps it’s true, perhaps I am selfish, perhaps my ex-wife was right and I am a selfish, arrogant, egotistical, narcissist.
I don’t know what I am, and to be honest, I often think my place in this world is a mistake. While I don’t have much faith in myself, I have to believe that God wouldn’t make a mistake. I know Jesus was a hero of man, a savior to be a great gift to humanity when we didn’t, we couldn’t ever disserve it. Jesus was a superhero among men and came with unlimited cosmic power but was no Genie. He came with a big heart and mercy we could never understand.
When the world has beaten me down and I’m covered in the lies, I know I need you. When the days are dark, and I have no faith, I know I need a hero. I wait for a hero and I know, when I pray, just barely a whisper and the hero of the universe hears my cries. I need a hero to save me tonight, and I know that the hero of my dreams will be right by my side. What is a hero, but a savior who comes in the darkness? Someone who saves you from the hopeless and who saves you when the wolves come howling and growling in the night. God is our Hero and the breath of God lives in each and every one of us. Because God lives in each of us, sometimes God calls us to be heroes among men but we are nothing without God. When we look to the Lord we know that through us God will do great things. God calls on us when the time comes to rise above the darkness and shine a light down for others to see. We must not run from God because we already have the second chance and we can’t waste it.
In the universe there is no one stronger, fiercer, more powerful then our God. We sing our praises to the Lord and believe in the power and love of our God. No greater love then our God. If we are to hope we must hope in our God because there is no other true hero. God makes heroes and those who raise up earthly heroes is a hero above all others. God is a healer, a mercy that’s unfailing, a place for the weak, a place to take refuge from the storm. A hero that can calm any storm, restore any soul, but a stopper in death, and a God that is faithful to a covenant that was paid for in blood. My Hero my God that saves me from the darkest of nights, the deepest of holes, and the strongest of oceans, and I am lifted to safety. I lift my hands to the true Hero in my life. I may not have ever had a Dad, but in my Lord I find my Abba, my Father. My father gives me strength. He teaches me how to be a man, and I will not let people tear me down. I will not let the hurtful words break me. If I am wrong I will listen and make things right, but the judgment and approval I seek is that of my one true Abba. I am waiting on my Hero my Lord to save me. I wait through the storm, I will wait through the pain, and I will keep my faith, keep my footing and trust in my service to the Lord while I’m waiting to be delivered from my pain. Please my God, do not let me fail, do not let me fall. Please my God hold me up and hold me tall. I’m waiting for my time my Lord to show me the way out of this darkness. I am not perfect Lord but please give me strength, give me the guidance, show me my path, and I will take the steps in obedience while I wait for you my Lord, my King, my Abba. I’m not worthy, and I never will be, but my Lord I’m waiting, I’m holding out for a hero to save me.
Expectations
Expectations
There are things in this life I grew up knowing, believing with all my heart and soul. I believed in the Holy Spirit, I believed in the power of God, and the mercy of judgment that would one day befall me, and those I know. I spent my life wondering where I would be, and try to be the man God would see me be. I wanted to be a good Godly man. I wanted to be someone important to someone else. I wanted to be loved by someone as much as I loved them. I am the kind of man who expects myself to stand tall and firm that this life is precious and short. Our time here is not determined by our own making much of time, but that line is determined by God almighty. I can remember events in my life that shaped my understanding of life, and it quickly reminded me that this life is both short and important, and we as brothers and sisters in Christ must stand tall and be there for one another. I am the type of man that if a few days goes by that I don’t hear from a close friend I reach out to them. I am a man that I will send over a dozen hello’s to people just to let them know I was thinking of them and that they are important to me. All of God’s children are important, who are we to forget that it’s the fellowship, the relationships in this life that’s what’s truly important. We share the Gospel, and we rejoice the Lord with one another. Who are we if we forget our friends?
Proverbs 18:24 “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” We love Christ but we forsake our brothers. We should be ashamed of how we treat our friends. When we have so many ways in this generation to connect with others, we find ourselves busier and busier and no longer find or make the time for the important people in our lives. Luke 6:31“Do to others as you would have them do to you.” I don’t want to be remembered as the kind of man who let evil happen to my friends without ever stepping in to tell them they are loved by me and God. I want to be the man that reminds them they are loved as often as I can. This world is a cold place, and the least we can do is add a little love to those around us. The few seconds it takes to send a text, or a message, or a phone call, it’s truly a shame people have let life, let the Devil pull us apart. We must change our ways, and we must do better. We must be better because Jesus commanded us to strengthen your brothers. Luke 22:32“but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.” We are told over and over to stand watch, to help carry the cross. Galatians 6:2 “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” We don’t truly know the hell someone’s going through, and we won’t know if we don’t make connections.
We must fervently love to bring light to a dark world. We must live in Christ and trust the Holy Spirit to guide us in the direction we must travel. While today I admit I truly struggle with the lies of the Devil, I find myself harassed with tears, and feeling lost in the woods by myself. I have cried now for two days straight as I have been assaulted and beaten down. I have felt abandoned and forsaken by those with whom I had given my heart. I trusted, and put my own heart on the line with someone and that heart is broken. Despite the time I’ve spent trying to heal, every now and then something happens to open that wound. I searched for over an hour to find someone to call, so I could hear a friendly voice. Sadly, after all my time searching, I eventually gave up hope on anyone taking the time to answer my request. No one would and two hours later I would fall asleep to my own tears, with just a prayer and my dogs to comfort me. Now I realize how far we’ve come away from the Lord. I realize now how the only true blessing we can count is that of Jesus Christ and the blood to renew us from sin. This life will end one day, and the tough lessons learned, Jesus is the only true place we can put our hope. Love people but understand they are human, and we all fall short to the glory of God. We all fail our brothers and sisters, and while we hope to be there, the truth is, the only true thing we can depend on is God’s love.
Who Are You?
Who Are You?
I’ve been putting a lot of thought into labels. “Please Lord Help Me Get One More!” (Pvt Doss) Who are we in the Lord? I have gone one day after another moving through life, and from one day to the next I have gone from one label to the next. I have searched for my place in this world, and growing up I felt lonely. I felt hallow year after year. As time went on I would find myself in labels. I became a vice president of SADD, a boyfriend, an actor, and as time went on a soldier, and a veteran, and a husband. One by one those labels would pass away into memory and would no longer hold any significance in my life. As time moved on and as one by one the label that once defined me became meaningless, just a memory. After my first divorce I never imagined I would ever have to go through that kind of pain or suffering again. As I fell in love and moved towards marriage again, I trusted I wouldn’t be forced to relive that kind of pain. The label I most relate to now, is broken. I’m a two time divorced thirty something year old man, physically broken, emotionally broken, and in between my own moments of clarity, a reminder of how fragile that peace truly is. A lie here, a deceit there, and a broken heart, a hole ripped open and not filled. A wound that heals, and before it’s done, it’s ripped open again. So, who am I, the truth, I don’t know. I don’t honestly know who I am anymore. I’ve been in this fire, this crucible for so long now I don’t know how to get out.
I’ve struggled a long time with heartbreak; I have struggled a long time with a point in time where I got stuck. Some days I feel like I’ve taken such great steps forward, and then without warning, I’m right back there. A record scratched unable to play through the song. I know my pain is real, and yet, I feel like I am weak because I haven’t been able to move forward and radically accept the world as it is, accept my new path, and accept to move forward. I pray daily to the Lord on high to take my pain away, but here I am, so many months later, crying, unable to face the pain I feel deep inside. I feel as if I will break apart over and over if I let myself go. I am afraid of myself, and I’m afraid of what my future might hold if I let the gates open.
The world isn’t a fair and just place. The world is governed by sin, led by the Devil to break us down, to push us and try to sway us away from God. What happens when we suffer in pain? What people go through is horrific, it’s unimaginable, it’s a struggle sometimes just to breath, but what is that pain really mean? Pain is the result of something upsetting the balance of our lives in a negative way. Pain is a change from our comfort forcing to manage an event that is horrible. What happens to people that causes pain is the work of evil. There is no promise to a pain free life. As long as there is free will in the world evil will find a way. Bad things happen to a lot of people, a lot of good people who perhaps the evil things happening is unfair, but we live in a world fallen from grace, and this life, for better or worse is our test. Evil exists in the world because free will allows us to follow our own path, and deviate from the path of God. God is with us every moment of every day in our walk, and yet, when the pain happens the emotions we feel is still very real. We cannot expect to turn them off and pretend like the traumas didn’t happen. There’s something we need to do, something we all must do in order to bring balance, to bring closure, and to move forward.
Who are we? We are men, women, children, fathers, and mothers. We are cooks, and poets, painters, and singers. Craftsman of all kinds whether it be of young minds as a teacher, or protectors of others as military, or police. Whatever we are as a profession, that’s not the label we should identify with. We are children of the king. We are sinners, and we are royalty to paradise. Some choose a path that does not include God. Some choose a path that includes a false idol. We are all judged equally at the foot of the cross, the very spot where blood was spilt to redeem us of our sinful nature. The blood that was spilt bridged the chasm that had existed for so long with a bridge of light and love. Jesus was the sacrifice for the world to break the chains that held us to damnation. I was asked recently how God could make Jesus die on the cross for our sins; God didn’t make anyone do anything. Free will has existed and if Jesus wanted to rule the world as an overlord, he could have. God was Jesus, and took the punishment for sins in a moment of divine separation from God to man. The blood spilt from the cross to the ground covered the earth and released us of the ramifications that sin forever separated the Father and us. Sin remains but we have the choice to follow Christ and allowing the Holy Spirit, which rose from death to cover the world in light. We were bought at a high price, a sacrifice from our father to take upon the punishment needed for sin, instead of having us take that punishment on ourselves. We would never be able to pay the debt needed to wipe away sin. Jesus Christ died for us, to give us a chance at paradise, but we have to make the choice ourselves. One thing with choice, and this may be the hardest thing we will ever do, forgive those who’ve hurt us. Forgive those who have brought pain like we wouldn’t believe is possible. Forgiveness is never excusing someone for his or her actions. It’s never absolving them of the justice that is due, but it brings balance to our hearts when we give up our own selves, and allow God to be the judge of the sinner not us. Sinners cannot judge other sinners. At the foot of the cross each of us is guilty, none of us is deserving of the grace and mercy that was bestowed upon us, but in that grace and mercy comes trust. We go through life with our pain, our struggles, and the only way for us to find true healing and peace is to give it up to God. We were never meant to carry such burdens in our lives and that’s why God wants us to come to him and give them to him. Forgiveness is the hardest thing some of us will ever have to do in our lives. Facing such deep pain, deep anger, deep resentment towards a person or people for the actions that have in some way hurt or wronged us is quite possibly the hardest thing a person can do. Forgiveness is about healing. It’s about finding closure and learning how to move forward with our lives. Vengeance is mine sayath the Lord. We cannot understand how one sin is just as bad as the next, and in our own pain we are faced with a choice, one that we must make every day, move forward with forgiveness in our hearts. “Nobody gets away with anything. Everything here has consequences.”(The Shack) “I’m not asking you to excuse what he did, I’m asking you to trust me to do what’s right, and to know what’s best… ‘then what’ ‘forgiveness doesn’t establish a relationship, it’s just about letting go of his throat.” We get stuck in our pain because we won’t, not because we can’t.
In our walk of forgiveness we don’t have to do it alone. Every day we must learn to say it out loud. We must look at our pain and focus on the grace of God and believe that God is working even in the midst of the worst tragedies of our lives. “I’m still angry.’ Of course you are, no one lets go all at once. You might have to do it a thousand times before it gets any easier, but it will.” (The Shack)
The who is a child of the King. We are blessed with a God who loves each and every one of us in an individual way. We are more then the failures we make, or the wrongs we have done. We are more then whatever labels we have put on ourselves, and we are more then the pain we’ve endured. Don’t let that pain keep your from experiencing love, and joy again. Don’t allow your anger and pain, and guilt to rob you of a life in the love of Christ and others. Find yourself in the grace and love of Jesus. In all things good, and bad, and ugly Jesus said he would always be with us. When we suffer, we do not suffer alone. This life is the test for eternal life. The saying goes, you only live once, and while that’s true, it’s in this life we make choice after choice that will determine where we spend it. Every tear I cry God holds my tears as He’s always by my side. When my strength is almost gone and I wonder how I will carry on, I know, I remember that God is with me, side by side. Though I can’t feel the hand of God, I trust that it’s on my shoulder when I cry alone in a dark room. Having faith when you are broken isn’t easy. Having faith that those who’ve wronged you will be dealt with by Abba, it’s hard to not turn our focus to vengeance. Philippians 3:14“14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” We are called to give ourselves freely to Jesus. We are called to love our neighbors and in that love we are connected.
Every day you wake up is a blessing and a gift. It’s an opportunity to go out into the world and share the good new of Christ with people you meet. Some days, you may wake up and the pain you feel makes your legs led weights and it’s all you can do to get out of bed. When those days happen, just remember that God has chosen you for a purpose. We are many things in this life, but the one that stands above the rest is a warrior for Christ. To be a Christian is to be a soldier for the Lord. As the Lord has chosen different people from all walks of life, it’s sometimes hard to accept that we of all people are chosen for the tasks God has set out for us, but as those before us, God equips us for the mission and we must trust in the Lord to see us through. Judges 6:14“And the Lord turned to him and said, “Go in this might of yours and save Israel from the hand of Midian; do not I send you?” The Lord chose a young man named Gideon and as it happens nearly every time, Gideon told God he’s got the wrong guy. Much like those before me, I have often said God had the wrong guy, that I was a nobody, I wasn’t fit to fill this position, but God sees the whole picture, while we only see a small puzzle piece. We are to inherit the royal kingdom of Heaven, so we are groomed from conception to be a champion.
Never stop believing in yourself. Never stop trusting in the Lord, and believing you are who God see’s you as. We all make mistakes, but if we are a champion, then we can make it through any challenge, we can survive any obstacle, and we will always come out on top because we have the strongest force around, the almighty father. We will all fall into many labels through our life, but the only one that truly matters is the champion for Christ. When we find ourselves low, and questioning who we are, where we have fallen to, or when we are trying to dig ourselves out of the rubble that is our life, we know that the storm is temporary. Heaven is eternity. God’s love and grace is never ending and we need to have faith in the plan we cannot see. Do not listen to the lies of the Devil who will try to make you believe you’re something you’re not. You’re not a looser, you’re not a failure, you’re not worthless. These things are not to be believed. We all fail sometimes, we all fall short of expectations, but that doesn’t mean we are forever in that position. In time we shall rise above, and knowing that Jesus is with us, holding our hand, guiding us, we need to listen to the spirit. Follow the guidance and rise and thrive. That’s who we are, we are warriors, and we never quit.
Extinguish the Fire
Extinguish the Fire
We always talk about fire both being life saving and life destroying. I know for me, I came to God in pieces, and was healed. I found a God who loved me and forgave me of my sins. I trusted in the Lord and the Lord has led me to a brighter, healthier life. I felt the fire in my heart, and every day I take time to add logs to fuel that fire, to keep it burning bright. Our faith should be a raging fire in our very souls. Our faith should have us on fire for the Lord, and we should be burning with desire to spread and share the Gospel to all we encounter. We sing to praise the Lord. We dance to praise our Lord. We fellowship, and give to praise our Lord, because the God above is a loving God, full of Mercy, and Grace, and Redeeming power. We must continue to add fuel to our fire, we must stay in the word, stay in fellowship as to not let our fire go out. We must be revived every day by the burning love of the Holy Spirit.
Many of us, especially men, especially veterans who live with PTSD, anger, sadness, despair, hopelessness, and so many other emotions are floating around either at the surface, or just beneath the surface hidden from sight. How do we manage to fight feelings when we aren’t sure are even there? We must learn to face our fears, stop allowing our emotions to control us. We must learn to identify our feelings and find ways to manage them. We cannot expect to be without our feelings. They are apart of us, and we need to have them. We mustn’t forget we are people, we can be wounded, and we must understand that it’s in those times we need help in our journey, our Odyssey of healing. Check the facts and question if the facts support your feeling. We must learn to understand why we feel the way we do. We must learn to expect sometimes with PTSD our feelings aren’t justified, so we must learn why and how to change that. We must learn to pray for the peace we seek. We must learn to turn the other cheek and be better at controlling the anger that most of us feel inside. Feelings of inadequacy, guilt, or even self loathing can cause feelings of anger, or the opposite cold and numb. We cannot allow ourselves as heads of our households to be consumed by PTSD. We must learn to rise above and come to grips with the past and chose to no longer allow it to direct your path. You are in control, and you are strong enough to face the wounds and start the healing process. When you are feeling anger we can use distractions, meditations, opposite actions, self-soothing, breathing, and a plethora of other ways that are healthy and effective in changing the nature of the distressing emotion.
Learning skills and putting them into use is never easy. Learning how to reprogram your brain to handle intense emotions more effectively is perhaps one of the hardest things you’ll every challenge yourself to achieve. Therapies such as DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) Or CBT (Cognitive behavioral therapy) can be highly effective if the effort is put into use. Like anything else the brain takes repetition to learn, and if done enough correctly, your brain will learn the muscle memory and will slowly begin to alter your perception. Studies also show that a person who has a stronger faith will recover from tragedy much faster then those without. Psalm 93:4“4 Mightier than the thunders of many waters, mightier than the waves of the sea, the Lord on high is mighty!”The Lord is power, and with great power, the Lord is merciful and loving. We are loved and by grace we are saved. In our journey to find emotional enlightenment, and peace, I would recommend understanding that this journey is a difficult one, and once you learn the tools, putting them to use is the key. Just like a newborn in your faith, it takes time and energy. Proverbs 9:10“10 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight.” Start the journey and stay on track. You’ll have your moments where you get off the rails, but that’s to be expected. Find brothers and sisters in Christ and ask them to help you on your journey, and to help keep you accountable. We have the ability to let go of some of our emotional baggage, so we need to learn how to drop that weight. Focus on the good and positive things even in the midst of crisis. Never forget that it’s okay to fail as long as you learn, and it’s okay to fall as long as you get back up. Put out the fire of the anger and hate in your heart, and replace it with the burning fire of the Holy Spirit. Find your inner peace by opening your heart and mind to the Lord. Find peace in the love that was shed for all of us in life, overcoming death. Be deliberate in your feelings, and loving others as we are also loved. God bless.
The Fear He Can Smell
The Fear He Can Smell
The lion that stalks you in the darkest hours of the night. The storm that springs up from nowhere and tosses you around the sea. But how do you feel when life explodes all around you? The scent that emanates from the deepest parts of your heart when despair is all you know. The snake that slithers around, waiting and watching patiently for that scent to be strong. The Devil, much like the ParaDeomons from Justice League can smell fear. “Fear, they can smell it!” (Justice League) If we are to fight this spiritual war, we must first acknowledge something important, we must face our deepest fears. “You have to let it all go, Neo. Fear, doubt, and disbelief. Free your mind.” (Morpheus, Matrix) We cannot allow our fears, or our doubts to cloud the truth of Jesus Christ. So many people want concrete proof with their own eyes to believe in a higher power. We can’t give in to our own fears and doubts. We must find our courage to stand tall, and continue to carry on.
“The purpose is to experience fear. Fear in the face of certain death. To accept that fear, and maintain control of oneself and one’s crew. This is a quality expected in every Starfleet captain.” (Spock, Star Trek, 09) We will experience fear in our life. There are things we won’t be prepared to face, but the catch is we can turn to God for strength. God will never leave us to make it through on our own. Every day in our life is a test of some kind, and if we are to be the best Christians we can be, we have to learn how to face our fears, and to control them, not let them control us.
I can remember a few times when I was in Iraq I was scared. I remember the fear that would sweep over my body, and the question if I’d make it out alive or not would always creep into my mind. While my training allowed me to stay focused on the task at hand, I always reminded myself that if it was my time, God would take me home, and there wasn’t anything I could do about that. I became comfortable in the knowledge I may not make it home. When you get to the point where you’re comfortable with the idea of death, far less things will make you afraid. In my life today I find I am more fearless when it comes to myself, but when it comes to others fear still makes an appearance. I find now my biggest fears are that of abandonment, a fear of walking this journey alone without a companion. I think for me, this has been my weakness that the Devil has picked up on, and now uses as often as he can. My fear of being alone seems to be something I just haven’t been able to shake. As I watch friends get married, engaged, or have children, I now find myself longing for those things. My life hit a snag and the reset button was hit. Now I am starting over again, and the fear of tomorrows fate scares me. I know through my life as I’ve watched one love after another move on without me, now I’m left fearful of my fate. I do not desire to be alone, and my fear is that I have somehow deserved this fate. I know that my fear is strong in this area of my life. That fear trickles to other parts in my life. The lies whispered to me from the Devil playing on my insecurities my own self worth. I have always questioned my looks, my personality, and wondered why I’ve been alone so often. I have wondered why so many have left me, and while I realize I’m not perfect, I’m not in control of others and their own moral compass. My fears have plagued me for many years, and if I’m ever going to be happy with myself, and if I’m going to find that happiness while on my own, I must acknowledge my fears, and then learn to face them.
We all have fears, but the catch of living this life following Christ is not allowing that fear to dictate our actions. We must walk by faith, not sight. We must trust in the one who gives us our strength, our courage, and trust in the Lord and lean not unto our own understanding. We must believe that the turbulent waters are just temporary, and just around the river bend the calm straight is waiting for us. Do not fall for the lies the Devil will feed us. Fear is a liar, one designed to rob you from your happiness. I’m not talking about the fear that keeps you alive in the face of danger; I’m talking about the fear of moving forward. Trust in the Lord and believe that your salvation is the most important thing, and the rest, if part of the plan, and faithfulness will fall into place. We often want what we want, and if we live in the past, we are telling God you don’t trust him. You’re telling God you’re going to do it your way, and his timing isn’t good for you. Stop letting fear rule your emotions and your actions. Face your fears and come out on top. You are in control, not fear. God is with you always, and for that, there is nothing to fear.
The Arrow Preacher 