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If I Died

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If I Died

Would you notice if I died? Would you feel bad and cry? Would you ask God why? 

We often sit back and in our hubris think we have all the time in the world. We postpone and put off yet another day of making that call, sending that text, writing that message. We think that tomorrow is guaranteed and tomorrow will be less busy than today. There was a song a while back, Friends by John Micheal Montgomery

 ” Friends

Get scattered by the wind

Tossed upon the waves

Lost for years on end

Friends

Slowly drift apart

They give away their hearts

Maybe call you

Now and then”

Isn’t this true? When we really take a good long hard look at our lives, have we really done a good job keeping up with friends? Not long ago I messaged a friend who saw my message and days later never received one back. In my opinion, and this could be just my opinion, we’ve become a society with so many distractions, so many activities, I often wonder if we spend so much time moving from one activity to another, if we’ve forgotten to truly live. 

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 NKJV

9 Two are better than one,

Because they have a good reward for their labor.

10 For if they fall, one will lift up his companion.

But woe to him who is alone when he falls,

For he has no one to help him up.

11 Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm;

But how can one be warm alone?

12 Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him.

And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

While scripture says clearly the benefit of having a friend, it also cautions to having too many, 

Proverbs 18:24 A man who has friends must himself be friendly,

But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

While this message is twofold, the first part speaks of having to rise to the call of being a friend. Too many friends can leave us in ruin, but to those whom we dabaq (Cleave) unto as a friend, can become closer than kin. Jesus is this friend to us, and knowing how Christ clings to us, is always there for us, are we showing the same respect for those in our own lives? 

Scripture is clear on multiple occasions how we must treat every day. James 4:14 “14 whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.” Life is such a fleeting thing, and with every passing year, our society gets more and more fast paced. We have opportunities to slow down, and in the heart of the Covid-19 spread, while everything was shut down, I fear we did not heed our lesson, but instead doubled down on our foolishness, our careless ways, and now, we see brother turn against brother as blood spills in the streets. It’s interesting that in 1967 a small group named Buffalo Springfield released a song called For What It’s Worth. 

There’s somethin’ happenin’ here
But what it is ain’t exactly clear
There’s a man with a gun over there
A-tellin’ me I got to beware

I think it’s time we stop
Children, what’s that sound?
Everybody look what’s going down

There’s battle lines being drawn
And nobody’s right if everybody’s wrong
Young people speakin’ their minds
A-gettin’ so much resistance from behind

I think it’s time we stop
Hey, what’s that sound?
Everybody look what’s going down

What a field day for the heat (ooh-ooh-ooh)
A thousand people in the street (ooh-ooh-ooh)
Singin’ songs and a-carryin’ signs (ooh-ooh-ooh)
Mostly say “Hooray for our side” (ooh-ooh-ooh)

It’s time we stop
Hey, what’s that sound?
Everybody look what’s going down

Paranoia strikes deep
Into your life it will creep
It starts when you’re always afraid
You step out of line
The man come and take you away

We better stop, hey, what’s that sound?
Everybody look what’s going down

Stop, hey, what’s that sound?
Everybody look what’s going down (we better)

Stop, now, what’s that sound?
Everybody look what’s going down (we better)

Stop, children, what’s that sound?
Everybody look what’s going down

We have come to a point when we have turned on our brothers and sisters, and we set aside all rational thought, and now the other side is the enemy. With a world so violent, so turbulent, would the world miss me if I was gone? It seems history is indeed repeating itself. A world so quick to judge, so quick to determine truth while the media fans the flames of the great divide. With such division in the streets, we have failed to number our days, failed to grow in a heart of wisdom (Psalm 90:12). Christ tells us not to worry about tomorrow, thus telling us to be in the now, focus on today, be in the present. This also tells us not to let ourselves be weighed down in stress, but to give God our worries and concerns. 

When we are on our death bed, will we be looking at our loved ones and say “I wish we had time for one more errand. I wish we had time for one more school event. One more work meeting. One more _______” You fill in the blank. We are blessed in our lives to have a few people who would truly be there for us, who would give us what we need, when we need it. Are we living up to our end of being a good friend? How are we treating those who have treated us with respect and kindness throughout the years? Again, I ask, where do we place our focus? This is of course just food for thought. If 2020 has taught us anything, it should be tomorrow is never promised, so we must live for today, and make the very best of the blessings we are given day by day. Would you miss me when I’m gone, would you know it right away, or would it take you months before you found out? Something to ponder. As a whole I don’t think we are doing a very good job at being friends to one another. I don’t believe we are there when people need us. I don’t believe we give our friends even the courtesy of a reply let alone an ear to listen. Maybe I’m wrong, but wherever you fit on the spectrum, I hope we can come together and be better friends to one another. 

War

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War 

War in the streets, the riots rip apart neighborhoods, blood, tears, loss, and hopelessness. While tragedy befalls this once great country, we have most assuredly lost our way. A nation no longer seeking the face of God has grown faint and weary. A nation where wrong is exalted, right is condemned and righteousness has fallen away. This country while seemingly being torn apart, a house divided form the inside, is heart breaking to say the very least. 

Recently I was told I could never understand what it meant to be dark skin in a white world. Perhaps not those words directly, but that was the gist of the conversation. While of course I don’t know what it’s like being a person of dark skin in the United States, I am no stranger to discrimination. Growing up I was discriminated against because of the clothes I wore, and where I came from. I didn’t grow up with money and that was evident by the clothes I wore. My clothes didn’t quite fit, where often second hand, and everyone could tell. When I was beat up, or picked on in school, I dreamt of the day I’d be able to wear a uniform to school so I would no longer be judged by what I wore, but rather who I was. 

As I got older, I would face hardships as a veteran. I was often overlooked for jobs, or promotions because my experience didn’t account for anything. The discrimination I faced when I got out of the military and for several months unable to find work, I felt defeated, broken, depressed, and questioned the very country I spent years sacrificing and fighting for. What was I good for if I couldn’t be a soldier, and I couldn’t support my family, even being passed up on retail jobs. This would eventually lead me to write a paper on the stigmas of PTSD in the workplace, for a college class. The very essence of truth is veterans do face a version of discrimination even within our very country. 

We are a nation divided by color, sex, creed, nationality, masks vs. no masks, cop vs. criminal, virus vs. hoax, liberal vs. conservative, and the list goes on and on. Not only is there a war in our streets, but there’s one going on in our hearts. There’s a war in the streets yes, but when we dig down deep enough, the war is being waged for our hearts. All the hate and discrimination people face are a result of a sin nature running unchecked. The hate we face is the embodiment of sin bubbling to the surface in a nation that has pushed God aside. Much like Sodom & Gomorrah, or even the Israelites getting their party on while Moses was up on the mountain having a confab with God. Sin has become common place not saying it hasn’t always been there, but rather now that we have actively pushed God out of schools, out of government, out of the home, and largely turned our backs on God of course we will see more and more of this type of activities happen in the streets. 

I’m reminded of the song “Reflection” from Mulan. We can no longer hide who we are. Our reflection of who we are inside is now playing out with blood on the streets of our once great nation. The truth is, what’s going on is truly the reflection of who we’ve become. We can no longer hide the ugly within. We can no longer pretend everything’s alright. We can no longer stand here and say everything’s ‘fine’. We are truly ugly to one another. We are rude, hateful, and spiteful towards one another. We fight about everything and have gotten so spiteful that we cannot talk about our differences without blowing up the bridge between us. This chasm that has grown, has done so like a cancer and has infected not only every generation, but we teach hate and misdirection, lies, and we no longer teach respect, and love. Years ago Paul Harvey spoke during a show and his title was called “If I was the Devil”. During this three minute and seventeen second broadcast, which aired sometimes around 1964, it seems prophetic in nature. WE are at war with ourselves, we tranquilize with drugs, we created God. Churches are at war with themselves, nations in kind. Media of course fans the flames. God has been evicted from the courthouse, the schoolhouse, and even the house of congress. Not my words, but the words of Mr. Harvey. “If I were the devil, I would take from those who have and I would give to those who wanted, until I had killed the incentive of the ambitious. We have allowed the Devil to turn our Nation into His playground, and sadly even the burning down of cities is now being downplayed and justified by those who swore oaths of office. 

Recently the show Picard was released and during the show, I was amazed at one very real and shocking revelation, Star Trek was no longer pure in its depiction of a future, but rather a darker turn mirroring the current climate. The word staring with ‘F’ was dropped multiple times during the show. A major disappointment to say the very least. A show once adored by children, now using language that perhaps is spoken in front of children, but I daresay is wildly inappropriate. 

While it seems our current state of affairs is hopeless let me be the first, or perhaps somewhere in the slew of people saying, there is always hope. First, let me start off by saying it’s never too late to except Christ into your heart and allow Him to heal you. It’s never too late to walk away from the world, and become an ambassador for the Loving Prince of Peace. Jesus Christ showed us that we are not saved by our deeds, but merely the sacrifice of his blood, the truest gift of sacrifice for our very souls. We are given everything though we deserve nothing. Left to our own devises we see how we behave. 

The hope we have is in Christ, not our leaders in Washington. We must learn to put our faith in the Heavenly and not the worldly. We cannot stand here and think the President will make things better, or blame police, or the criminal, or the color of someone’s skin. Instead we must look beyond the symptom and realize the cause. Sin is the root of our nations plights, and it’s because we’ve let it take hold. We have stood by and allowed sin behavior to become commonplace. We have allowed the cancer to grow out of control. We grew faint and complacent, and now War is in our front yard, our back yard, and in our very homes. 

If we have any chance of gaining ground we must turn back to the Lord. We must find rest for our weary souls. 

Isaiah 40:30-31

“Even the youths shall faint and be weary,

And the young men shall utterly fall,

31 But those who wait on the Lord

Shall renew their strength;

They shall mount up with wings like eagles,

They shall run and not be weary,

They shall walk and not faint.”

Galatians 6:9 New King James Version

9 And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.”  

If we are serious about retaking our country, retaking our lives, we must start with the man/woman in the mirror. We must first look into our own hearts. We must first realize we are in fact sinners and each of us are in part, part of the problem. We must realize that if we are to make a difference, we must be different. We must look and act differently. We are going to battle and we must prepare. We must allow God to forge our hearts, change our minds, heal our hurts, mend old wounds, and fix bridges we’ve long burned. We must forge our spirit and rekindle our fire for the Lord. 

Psalm 144:1 

“Blessed be the Lord my Rock,

Who trains my hands for war,

And my fingers for battle” 

We are called to be Christians, holding our witness, and in the fire let us be forged stronger, let us strap on the full Armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-18) and let us run with endurance. 

Hebr3ews 12:1 “Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,” 

We cannot fall to this world. We cannot allow sin to defeat us. We cannot allow the shadow to overwhelm us. We must show limitless love, the true meaning of love, the true Agape’ love we see in scripture. We must look different in everything we do. We must continue to fight the good fight till we draw our last breath. Show love to snuff out racism, bigotry, discrimination, and hate. We can do better, by being better. Put a little love in your heart, and let it shine brightly to all you encounter. Be kind, be courteous, be generous, be giving, and never grow weary of doing good. 

Paul Harvey “If I were the Devil” 

What Flows In Our Veins

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What Flows In Our Veins

I suppose this is a question everyone faces at some point, or they don’t, I don’t really know; What flows through my veins. For a long time, I have wondered, questioned, pined for a place in this world. For years I hoped for a way to be remembered, but have found it isn’t about me. I am literally no one. I am a nobody without Christ. My works here in this life don’t matter if they aren’t for the Glory of God. My works mean nothing without the acknowledgment of the salvation I am graced with if it weren’t for the Blood of Jesus. When my wife left, I went to a dark place, and I fell to the darkest of pits I didn’t know existed. With the light of God, I crawled my way out, but a fall like that doesn’t happen without leaving its mark. I would be left with scars both physical and emotional. I would be faced with a new path, and with that new path, a purpose left in question. I have talked often about being the clay and allowing God to mold you. (Be God’s Lego & Be God’s Lego 2). I have spoken often about finding your ministry, and allowing your spiritual gifts to guide you to where you are supposed to be. It’s funny though that tonight, tonight I would find myself seeking answers as my path has become so clouded, I no longer have a direction. At the very lowest point, the very foundation, I know that my purpose is to serve God no matter what I end up doing, but as far as what that is I have no idea. Long term, I have my dreams, my instincts on purpose, but in the here and now, the more immediate path, I feel as if I’m floundering in the open water on a stormy night, not sure what way to swim. 

I am trying to find what seems like a temporary Job, trying to be proactive, but in itself seems to be more of a struggle then I ever thought it would be. Someone asked me what I’m looking for, and to be honest I have no idea. I’m finding that my degree is relatively worthless in the short term. I’m finding that I have neither the skill or mastery to narrow down a path. I have years and years of security service, but as far as my passion goes, I have little to none to remain in the security field. I have some medical training and a desire to be helpful, but not enough to mean anything in the short term. I have a passion and a knowledge of the outdoors such as hiking, camping, etc, but while it’s enough to survive and get through, it’s not a mastery. And sadly, outdoors survival skills, mostly military and personal experience, doesn’t offer much opportunity for a job, especially in this day and time. I have a passion to help veterans, but as I am no longer a chaplain the opportunities are minimal. To be a crisis counselor it requires a master’s degree or higher, and sadly my area is not a big area of opportunities for that kind of work with veterans. I worked in retail for a few years, but it would not be recommended any longer due to physical limitations. So, where does that leave me? The truth is I don’t know. I have no mastery, or a specific set of skills or talent that leads me anywhere in specific. Now is not the time to build a photography business, and while I love teaching and preaching, that path has not yet been laid out before me. And, as with many things, that’s a long-term path, not a short term. While I have even looked at teaching first aid and CPR, the training for that takes one, money, and two, time, time I don’t have. So, I have come back to a single question, “God, what would you have me do?” 

I think we all get to these points, these questions in our lives. In the last several weeks since the onset of the Covid-19 Pandemic, I have seen hardships, heartbreaks, blood, sweat and tears, and realized that while my path is cloudy, I am still immensely blessed. While we all have hardships, and struggles, everyone has something they are going through and working out. I have seen and endured far more than I’m going through now, but that does not detract from its difficulty. I shall then, put my trust in God to show me the path when it’s time. I know that perhaps there are other reasons I am not being shown the way just yet. There are infinite possibilities that I cannot ignore, and trust that when all the pieces are where they need to be, I will be placed where I need to go. I will keep in mind Gods ways are not my ways, they are beyond my understanding and comprehension, and I must trust, and lean not unto my own understanding. I must have faith and be content with where I am, and trust that tomorrow is a new day, and anything can change between now and then. I must trust and have faith, and in constant prayer, turn to the Lord my God to deliver me from the spiritual attacks of the Devil, and believe that I will rest tonight being covered under the protection of Angel’s wings. I trust that my hands are prepared for war, and when the time comes I shall battle the enemy and be ready for what may come. I know that I am forged in fire, tempered and treated for the days ahead. I know that everything I am not is melted away, smelted like gold. I know that my salvation is secured by the Blood of Christ which was a debt paid for me, ransomed for my very soul. I know I am redeemed by the blood, and this life is but a temporary speck in the new glorified body that awaits me. I know one day I will kneel at the foot of the judgment seat, and answer for everything I have done, said, thought, and felt, and I will have no excuse but to ask for forgiveness in the eyes of my King. I am not worthy of such love, or grace, or mercy, but given to me freely, in which my sins are washed away, upon my repentance and plea for forgiveness. I know that hardship comes in this diseased, fallen, sinful world, in which awful things befall all who live here. This world knows death for this world is not Glory, but the proving ground for what’s to come. I do not know my place in this world, but I know my place with God. I do not know my gift in this world, but I know the gift that saved the world. Today will pass into memory, and perhaps tomorrow, and the next, but a day will come when the path is made clear, and the answers shall be revealed. Till that day comes, I find myself in prayer, and wonder, questioning, and praying, telling God what rests upon my heart. Perhaps a letter just to express myself, a few words on a white computer screen, just to make sense of what’s in my own head. Alas, I know I am a child of the one true King, the only way to the father Jesus Christ, the narrow path that only a few will travel, I will buckle my straps, tighten my breastplate, sharpen my sword, dig in my sandals, and prepare for the war to come. I shall fear no evil for the Lord is with me, and no matter where I roam, I am never alone. 

Who Are You Today?

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Who Are You Today?

I was thinking about the story of the Potter and the Clay. I was also thinking about the enemy and our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I know that all of us are facing challenges in this life, this new normal of being forced to lock down in our homes. I know that all of us are trying to find ways to deal with the isolation, the lack of finances, the lack of church, the lack of work, and the lack of anything else you can think of. I have been wondering, myself included who am I today? Are we falling apart in these troubled times? Are we bonding together to be stronger? Are we becoming someone the enemy fears, or are we becoming someone the enemy cheers? If we are truly clay, who are we allowing to shape us? I know that a tool like any other in the wrong hands can be used as a weapon. As Bruce Wayne once said “One man’s tool is another man’s weapon” (Dark Knight Rises). 

I have often wondered why so many bad things happened to me as a child. I wondered why so many awful and hurtful things happened to me as an adult. I realized some of those things where of my own doing even in a passive sense. In many those things I blamed God for my troubles, not always for causing them, but allowing them to happen. I have faced challenges, and even when I haven’t gotten them right, I’ve realized that for every challenge faced there is an opportunity. That being said, “God only knows the real you.” (God Only Knows, by for King and Country). Since we all have a face that we hide away, the potter is the one that knows us best. That being said, we can be shaped by one of two potters. We can be shaped by Satan, or Jesus. 

We are all facing things we never thought would happen, or things we could never think to prepare for. Our behavior shows who we are and what kind of person we’ve become. In these days are you behaving in a way that would make the enemy fearful? We cannot see what’s in someone’s heart, but we can make an educated guess based on a person action. It’s said in the Christian walk a person’s witness is so important because we outwardly represent Christ. A persons walk shouldn’t be impacted by the sins and mistakes of a person, but sadly that’s not the world we live in. People believe that those who follow a religion are a representation of that religion. 

IF I were a drunk, an abusive man, cruel, and yet on Sunday I’m in church sitting the pew and praying the prayers, am I a good representation of Christ? No, of course not. If someone saw me they would have a negative thought of Christianity. With so much idol time on people’s hands, and with social media being all the buzz, it’s more important than ever to watch what we say, watch what we do, and check ourselves and our actions. IS what we are doing bringing Glory to the Father, or are we making things easier for Satan and his army? We have a choice to change how we act, how we talk, what we post, how we deal with people, and even the support we show one another. 

Life has thrown us all challenges, and while we are struggling with our own problems, we must remember that first; We are not alone in this walk. Jesus is with us every step of the way. Second, we are called to be there for one another baring one another’s burdens. We are also told that we are responsible for ourselves and our own actions. 

Galatians 6:7-10 “Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. 8 For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. 9 And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. 10 So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.” 

We have a responsibility to our homes, and our brothers and sisters. We have a responsibility to own up to our mistakes and in doing so, we face who we are. In the last several weeks I’ve seen a lot of selfish response to the crisis gripping our world. I’ve seen a lot of decisions made based on fear and ignorance, We all need to take a step back, relax, and evaluate how to manage our struggles. We’re all in this together and we need to encourage and lift one another. WE all have an opportunity to grow, and we should spend more time loving on one another, and of course most important, growing in Christ. 

Today, if I’m honest I’m hurting. The days are long and run together. The struggle to see what I see and manage the impending challenges is a mountain and a half. I have found myself spending the day listening to Christian music, and praying to take this thorn from my life. I know that in all things I must find contentment, Philippians 4:11 (NKJV) “Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content:” I have been praying to the Lord to let me say the word and have the mountain jump from my path. I am not a foolish man, but regardless that I know the truth and that this is a mountain I must walk, I still tell my Father my hearts desires. The heartbreak I feel, and the impending storm brews in the distance, I can hear the thunder, and as Kylo Ren says “I know what I must do, but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it” (Star Wars). Will I have the strength to get through this? I have prayed to God to continue to give me the strength, to renew my strength, to build upon my faith and increase both. Today I feel like I’m weak and I know that I’m not, but the spiritual attacks are heavy. I know that Jesus is my chain breaker, my way maker, and I know that Jesus has set me free of the chains that held me, and I know that Father above hears me, hears my cries, hears my heart cracking, and I know that I will not be alone in this fight, but rather I know I will have Christ by my side. I know there’s a crack in my armor, but I know as the flaming arrows are landing all around me Christ stands next to me guarding me with his Shield. I will make it through this, and I know when I do, it’ll be by the grace and mercy of Jesus, not of my own doing. On bended knee, I lift my prayers to the King of Kings, the Great Healer, The Chain Breaker, The Savior, The Right Hand of the Father, Jesus Christ. 

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The Long Days Ahead

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The Long Days Ahead

Some days it’s hard not to feel lonely in these days. The constant drone of the same endless news. With no new TV shows, the same repeats flood the airways. When the sound is all turned off, the silence is just as loud. The effort to quiet the loud buzzing inside my mind is both physically and mentally exhausting. The only reprieve is the time I spend with the Lord which has been more and more often during this time of isolation. While the world is social distancing, it seems the social part has been taken literally by many. The masses are busier now than they were before, it’s just a different kind of busy. In the new normal, there’s so many changes, and while there are some wonderful changes, the weight of isolation is crushing. The hope however remains knowing that God’s Got This. Knowing that Jesus is here with me gives me comfort. Knowing that some day this will end, and while it may be weeks, or months, or Heaven forbid, years, I know that Jesus will stay with me during every wakeful night. I know that Jesus will be with me during every long and lonely day. I know that Jesus will remain with me as I have watched all my plans, all my hopes, all my dreams for this year have fallen in ash as it’s been burned like a wildfire. There is no going back, no way to salvage the losses, but knowing that a new plan will emerge from the ashes. 

We have all lost so much in these dark days. Businesses have closed. Jobs have been lost. Dreams have been crushed. Lives have been lost, and families destroyed. Some families have been so completely devastated by this dreadful virus, it’s hard to imagine. As I have remained in solitude to do my part to stop the spread, to slow the spread, to at the very least not be a part of the problem I have to acknowledge the struggles. I can’t be the only person feeling this way, in fact I know I’m not. On the flip side, I know that how I feel is not nearly as severe as others even in the sphere of knowledge. 

Lamentations 3:22-24

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;

    his mercies never come to an end;

23 they are new every morning;

    great is your faithfulness.

24 “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,

    “therefore I will hope in him.”

We know that the Lord is over all things, and while we may not know or understand the nature of God, why things are allowed, or why things happen, we know this His ways are perfect, beyond what we can understand, and we have to have faith and trust in His perfect will. 

Romans 5:2 (ESV) 2 Through him we have also obtained access by faith[a] into this grace in which we stand, and we[b] rejoice[c] in hope of the glory of God.

It’s so important in these days that we are there for one another. It’s so important that in our solitude we have people we can reach out too, and talk too. It’s so important to show the Love of Christ to one another. It’s easy to forget, but not everyone manages isolation well. Not everyone manages the silence well. Even the most introverted of people are struggling today. The loss of income and for some, the loss of hope will lead us in this country to record number of suicides, and mental health crises. We must do more as the Body of Christ and we need to be showing abounding love to everyone we can think of. A text, a message, an email, a card, anything helps right now. Please don’t think you reaching out doesn’t matter. Reaching out may be all the difference for someone. A simple act of kindness goes a long way right now with how people are feeling. 

Keep hoping in the Lord. Keep your faith, and plug in to be spiritually by watching a church service online. You can also find me on The Arrow Preacher on YouTube. Be safe, and be well. 

Hope In The Covid Storm

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The darkness is not powerful enough to withstand the light. The night lingers on, the shadows dance and cause a fright. The boogeyman hides behind every corner. The trees dance causes you to quiver and shake. The wolves howl at the moon. The nights wind chills to the bone.

The sky turns a deep crimson as the sun cracks the horizon. The ghosts and goblins made up by our own imagination recoils into the recesses of our minds. The light uncovers the truth, revealing the secrets the darkness tried to keep. The hopeless found in the night shattered by the light.

The failures that replay in our heads, a glimpse of the past, reminders of Satans chains not that bind us, but that Christ broke for us. The darkness is no more, only in our minds. The light shines and makes us free. The heart aches and hard knocks come yet go, with Christ a brighter future exists you’ll see.

Covid brings fear, brings panic, with no TP to find. We wear masks and stay at home. We see each other through our mobile phones. We see everything going wrong. With no sports, or shows. With no trips, or concerts. With no church, or events. We find ourselves deep in our imagination of darkness, but the light shines.

The future we had has slowly faded away. The storm came and covered the globe. The war against a virus. Something so small we could not see what was lurking round every corner. But in this storm we see hope. In this storm we come together to protect and serve. In the eye of the storm, we know Jesus, our Lord and Savior is in control. Jesus love surrounds us and shines our way home, guarding our souls. Let Jesus shine through you for others to find their way out of the darkness. Be the little Christ we are called to be. You’re not alone in the Storm. We have hope because Jesus is the chain breaker, the way maker, the healer, the miracle worker, and in him we must put our faith and under the wings of eagles we must rest.

By Jacob K.

Again, I Hide

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Again, I Hide

I hide behind my computer again. The waters tested, but back into the boat again. I stepped out upon the waves, and faced my fears of falling beneath the Icey depths. I walked for a while out of that boat, but the crack of the sky, made me feel I might die. I began to sank and back into the boat I went. Safe inside the boat. 

In my mind I tested the waters, I started to fly beyond the keyboard, beyond the chair. So long I stayed in my comfort afraid of rejection, afraid of what might come. For so long, I was worried I’d get it wrong, or I wouldn’t understand. For so, so long, I worried about me, a nobody, telling the world about Jesus. I felt like Gideon, a nobody, a small, weak, nobody from my tribe. But when I found a way, the who I was, and the direction and the how, the storm brewed, and back to the keyboard I crawled. 

I took a chance, and decisions considered, and choices made, I found myself a flame doused by a hose. The light and fire had gone out. As I sit here questioning my future, I find myself recoiling away from the world. I find myself in solitude to pray and have some alone time with the father. I wonder at times if it were all just a test. IF the storm was created to see how I’d respond. I wonder if perhaps I should have stuck to my belief, and held my ground. 

I have put a lot of thought into What Would Jesus Do? What did Jesus feel? In John 6:66, when disciples followed him no more, did Jesus’s heart ache for them? When Jesus confronted the Pharisees over and over, knowing they didn’t like him, knowing they didn’t believe him, did the human side hurt? Was the feelings of the human side ever hurt? Did it hurt Jesus’s feelings when his own brothers refused to follow him? Did it hurt his feelings when his own town refused to follow him, or support him? We often think of Jesus as God but he was also a man. Jesus had feelings and being perfect living in a world of imperfection, would this cause Jesus to suffer emotional pain? We know Jesus must have had a sense of humor because we have one. And in the water to wine chapter, we see Jesus likely picking on his mother a little. (personal opinion) We see him weeping for Lazarus. I’m sure when Joseph died, he wept for his earthy father. 

Growing up I faced all kinds of bullies, and I was told a lot that I wasn’t good enough, that I wasn’t smart enough, or big enough, or fast enough. Most of my life I was told, and have faced opposition being held down, held back, and never being allowed to fly to see my own potential. Facing my own fears and stepping out there, knowing what was coming, or at the least the potential for it, left me grossly unprepared. Taking a right cross, across the face or more appropriately to the heart, left me trying to find solid ground. 

Jesus is my rock, my fortress. Jesus is my protection against the attacks of the Devil. Satan recoils at the name of Satan, and my heart is a sanctuary for the Lord to reside. I pray to God, and in the name of Jesus I hope for tomorrow. I seek comfort in the arms of my father to dry my tears, dust me off, and ready my hands for battle. I trust the Lord to show me the way, a light house that cuts through the dense fog of emotions and doubt. I know that Jesus lift me up when I fall into the water, and I know he will heal my heart, and give me eyes to see. I know Jesus has made me different, and unique, the potter molding me in the clay to be special, and to do a job made for me. I am a tool ready to be used, willing to be put out there, and guided to whatever ministry planned for me. I will follow my heart, and follow my path. I will not be held back, and I will not ignore what I feel is right. I will fight the good fight, and continue to run my race. I will be patient and as an arrow held on the rest, I shall wait till the time is right, the string is tight, the wind is calm, and I will hold fast till the archer my Lord Jesus Christ is ready to fire me toward my target. I will not stand by, I will not stay hidden, I shall not hide behind this keyboard and when the time is right, I will come again. My fire will reignite, and I will tend to the fire, and grow it, and dry the metaphorical waters that doused my flame. 

In the name of Jesus Christ the only Son of the Father, I shall be held back, or bullied into a corner. Be a peacock and fly.