Setbacks

“Make a plan, execute the plan, expect the plan to go off the rails, throw away the plan”(Captain Cold)The path we follow and the plans we lay, one brick at a time on that yellow brick road, can only go so far so long as God wants us to follow that path. I don’t know what to say exactly except Captain Cold was a wise, wise man. I have laid the foundation to walk and expecting I knew my plan, but God had other plans. While I can’t say I understand, because Lord knows I don’t, I now have to throw away the old plan, and begin the research for a new one. I can’t say with any level of honesty I’m not hurt by recent events. Although that new job started off rough, it was just starting to smooth out, and I was excited for the prospects that by the end of the year I’d be able to follow through with my home buying goals. Now, I must figure out a new plan, and hope I am able to remain positive.

I’m not trying to make excuses but I find this kind of set back frustrating. Largely I am annoyed because I just can’t seem to go 10 feet without being knocked back 6. I have given my all to the Lord, and I am preaching and teaching every chance I get. I’m not engaging in reckless behaviors. I’m going to church regularly, and yet I just can’t seem to get to a point where I am in the life I have always dreamt of. I know that God has a plan for me, and my faith tells me to be strong, but the personality type doesn’t do well without closure, without answers. I am a logical planner and I need to know the why when something fails because without the why I don’t know what it is I’m to learn. I have struggled in the past with my faith and trusting in the Lord to lead me out of the struggle. I’ve never stopped believing in God, but I won’t lie, God and me haven’t always seen eye to eye. Obviously I have never won any arguments. I feel a little like Bruce trying to figure out why I keep rolling snake eyes, getting the worst of the luck, and having plan after plan fail in front of me. The future is as blurry to me now as it ever has been. All I can do now is dry my eyes, tighten my boots, and get ready to start a new trek.

Isaiah 35:8“A highway will be there, a roadway, And it will be called the Highway of Holiness The unclean will not travel on it, But it will be for him who walks that way, And fools will not wander on it.” Even though I wander, and I don’t know my path, I trust in my God. That does not take away the pain, but it means I can keep going. I feel like anyone else, and I have my questions, and sometimes I question God, but He’s always understanding. 2 Corinthians 5:7“7 for we walk by faith, not by sight.”  Though I don’t know my direction I walk strong and tall. I’ve got pain by my Lord heals my wounds. I walk in the darkness and I cannot see my way, but I feel the warmth of Jesus as the light guides my way. I don’t know where I am, and I don’t know where I’m going, but I know my way home. My savior promised a paradise waiting for me one day. I believe I am saved in the blood of Christ, and I know that no matter where my steps take me, one day I’ll reach that golden finish line. Isaiah 43:2 “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they will not overflow you When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, Nor will the flame burn you.”

Today I don’t feel strong. Today I don’t feel courageous, so my God give me faith. My God give me courage. My God show me the way so I may walk without fear. My God today I feel alone, and today I am lost, so my God my God please stay with me tonight. I feel broken, and I don’t know where to turn. I have walked through the valley, and I have pain coming from every direction, and I feel as if the whole world is standing against me today. My God you protect me when I face my battles. My God your love is pure light, and my God I need faith to trust in you tonight. I feel the storm it’s all around. I know you have the power to calm the waters, to be fear for the storm, and you could make it all go away. My God can you stay with me, I will lift my hands, I will praise you, I will worship you. Tonight I’m on my knees and my tears flow to the ground, and I need you with me today.

If you feel like me, and the world is just heavy, take a moment to step back and pray. Every day we need to remember that attacks will come and if not towards us, then those whom we care for. We must remain vigilant and keep the word in our hearts. The world is designed to break us, to tear us down, and pull us away from Christ.  “Why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.”  (Alfred, Batman Begins)We will have setbacks in our life, and we will fall. We will encounter struggles we never imagined, and we will face a world we don’t recognize. Our true strength doesn’t come from our own determination, but from the Lord above. Our true purpose is to Love our God and to do the works God would have us do. “Whatever you do, remember that. You’re going to make a difference. A lot of times it won’t be huge, it won’t be visible even. But it will matter just the same. Don’t do it for praise or money, that’s what I want to tell you. Do it because it needs to be done. Do it to make your world better.” (Ed Brubaker, Gotham Central, Book One: In the Line of Duty) Every day you wake is a new day to get out there an make a difference. Quitting is letting the Devil win, so keep pushing, keep moving, keep fighting, and don’t ever doubt who’s in your corner.