Don’t Take The Blame

This will be a very short and sweet post. Recently I was blamed for something when all I did was express my feelings on how someone was treating me. I was blamed for their response. We do nice things for people because it’s the right thing to do. Here’s the thing though, stop doing nice things if you’re going to be used or taken for granted. You cannot help someone who doesn’t care about your effort. I’ve been known to help others at the detriment of myself, and I’ve used a considerable amount of favors and resources to help people and I have often found it’s not appreciated. I’ve put myself in harms way to help people, and later by that person, I’m ignored, berated, and blamed for caring when it wasn’t asked for.

If you’ve been in this situation I say to you, stop, stop going above and beyond to help those who don’t care. You cannot change someone’s opinion by acts of doing. You will never be able to do enough to please someone who’s obviously so displeased with themselves, or have such a low regard for other people. These people are selfish and are life’s vampires. They will suck the joy and happiness out of the world. In years past I’ve taken the blame when life blows up in my face. I took the blame for both of my ex wives affairs. I thought it was my fault, and that I should have been able to love them more, give them more, be more supportive, or more compassionate. The truth is, it wasn’t my fault. The thing that was my fault was not seeing this quality or trait earlier in the relationship. I’m not saying either of them are bad people, but they made bad choices. In the years since I haven’t learned my lesson and I still go way beyond what I should to try and make people happy. I often feel it’s my fault, and I hold the blame upon myself. I am slowly realizing I can’t do that anymore. Doing that in 2016 nearly killed me, and I have to find a way to change.

If you are like me and you’ve been in this situation, please drop to your knees and pray. Pray to the Lord to save you from yourself. Please allow the Holy Spirit to lift you up, protect you, and guide you to a healthier lifestyle. Learn from my mistakes. You will be tested enough on your own accord, and there will be enough within your own responsibility, do not add to it by blaming yourself for the actions of others. 1 Peter 4:12 “Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you.” And James 1:12 “Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.” Only take the blame for the things you should. Be an adult and own up to your own mistakes, but only your own.