Worth while – The Arrow Preacher

A Line In The Dark

My God, I know you’re near, but I struggle to feel you. My God, I need a hero today, to come into my heart and show me the way, and to save me today. My God you hear me in the night, you know my heart, and you see my tears. I stain the pillow and I wrap it around my face to muffle my scream. I feel so much I can’t bottle it up anymore. So long I hid away the deepest feelings of my heart, and one day they exploded in a moment of weakness. I don’t know how to manage today with so much bubbling up. I know you’re there, but I feel lost in my own night. I sense the evil around me, circling like a pack of hyenas. I can hear the laughing in the dark, the cries of pain, the joy of the suffering; sounds from the cold dark shadows fill the air. I feel the dirt covering me as my body disappears under the ground, my arm outstretched waiting for a hero to grab my hand.

Where’s your inner strength come from when the world collapses down upon you? Can you hear the cries in the dark, can you fill the Nile with the tears you’ve spent in the darkness? I say to you, it’s time to stand with the resistance and fight back. It’s time to stand tall on your faith, and it’s time to dig in your spiked sandals and find the strength blessed by God, paid for by Jesus. Scream aloud as you take no more. Own your life, be the masters of your heart over the Devils attacks. It’s time to rise above, and burst out from the ground Satan tries to bury you in. The Devil wants your heart and it’s time to cry out in a voice, ‘you can pry my heart from my cold dead chest, after I’ve ascended to Heaven!” You’re a soldier, you’re a winner, you’re of royal blood, and the Devil can’t keep you. Be a warrior, and fight back with every ounce of strength you have. We ware for our minds, but never our souls. Our souls belong to the Lord, and though we are pushed, and beaten, the gift cannot be undone. 2 Corinthians 10:3-6 (NKJV)3 “For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. 4 For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, 5 casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, 6 and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled.”

My Lord you are my strength when my own fails. You are my guide when I loose my way. The ledge approaches as I dig in my feet, my knees to the ground, and the shield surrounded by fire as the attacks come. The arrows from the enemy fly all around me, and I know the cavalry is on its way. I cannot give up while the blood spilt for me. I’m not going to die tonight, as I will continue to fight. The world says give up, the world says I’m not good enough, the storm says I’m not strong enough, but I know it’s time to fight back. It’s never enough to just hide away from the storm, but it’s time to get back up and take the fight to the storm. How will it feel to take your life back, and stand up to the demons that make you afraid in the night. The sword we hold, the sword of the spirit that is stronger then any steel.

Ephesians 6:10-18(NKJV)10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. 11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

14 Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; 16 above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. 17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; 18 praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints”

Tonight the line must be drawn here, this far, no farther. The Lord’s vengeance is long lasting, and when you feel the anger bubbling inside of you from what the Devil has wrought on you and your house, remember that peace is knowing the Lord is in control. Romans 12:19 (NKJV) “Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord.” The fight comes to our lives, but we hold the ground. We take the line, and we never give up the ground. God might seem so far away, but trust that you’re never alone. Some tests the child needs to face on their own, but that doesn’t mean Abba isn’t there. Tonight when the demons come around light up the dark with the presence of the Lord. Call upon father and the angels will come forth and help hold the line. You shall never be on the battlefield alone, and tonight you can hold on till the dawn comes. Don’t let the demons take you tonight, and don’t give up for as long as you breath there’s always hope.

I thought I couldn’t hear you Lord, but it was me that wasn’t listening. I thought I was alone, but it was me that wasn’t looking. I thought I was broken inside but it was just the world. I prayed you’d come, but I wouldn’t open the door. I listened to all the wrong voices, I trusted the wrong signs, but now it’s time to rise, my old self dies away, the line drawn and fight for what I know is truth. As Picard said “We’ve made too many compromises already, too many retreats. They invade our space, and we fall back. They assimilate entire worlds, and we fall back. Not again! The line must be drawn here! This far, no further!” I cannot stand by and do nothing as the Devil gains ground all around me. The compromising has become a plague, and it’s time to rise as a soldier, and I know the time for retreats is over. It’s time to make the choice to do what is right over what is easy. Tonight, rise a soldier, and raise the sword of the God, and fight back. I will not stay on the defensive anymore. I have allowed to many to drain my happiness, my kindness, and I’ve wasted too much time on those that would only do me harm. Satan’s whispers in the dark will not draw me out unprepared any longer. I will be taking back my life that was stolen from me so long ago. I’ve been on the run so many years, no more. From the ashes a new creature is born. Satan burned my life down trying to destroy me, but instead of removing me from the chessboard, I am stronger, more determined then ever to fight back. My faith, my strength, my battle cry lights up the darkness, like the power of Odin coming down from the sky, but the power of Jesus Christ is unmatched. The demons flea from me, as the battle cry is for Jesus to grant me strength. I cannot loose because it’s my faith, my love of Christ, and I cannot be bought, or broken. The future is hope, and eternal paradise awaits the faithful. My shield is close, my sword is sharp, and I’m ready to fight. Hebrews 4:12 (NKJV)12 “For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.”

You’re Worth More Then You Think You Are

I reached for you, but you had another idea. You blew me off, and got mad when I didn’t understand. You decided you didn’t need me, nor did you want me around. I didn’t understand. You said you cared, and yet you slapped my hand away when you were in need. I reached out for you, and you told me, I don’t need you. What more can I say, except if you don’t want me around, I don’t want to chase after you anymore.

I have spent so much worrying about why someone didn’t want me. I’ve spent so much time chasing after friends, always being the first to say hello, always being the first to ask how they are, always being the first to check on them, and after all this time, what do I have to show for it? I have wasted so much time feeling like it was me that wasn’t wanted, that it was me that was worthless, but really, I’m the one with the conscious. I’m the one with the compassion in my heart, because I know the love of Jesus Christ. I spent so much time thinking if I loved enough someone would love me in return. I spent so much time thinking if I showed how much I cared, showed my love every day, and tried to live up to scripture in love that I would be loved in return. I was wrong.

Luke 6:32-36“But if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you hope to receive back, what credit is that to you? For even sinners lend to sinners to receive as much back. 35 But love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High. For He is kind to the unthankful and evil. 36 Therefore be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful.”

All this time I didn’t understand the nature of some people. I didn’t understand the sinful mentality, which sin in it self is about ‘I’ about the selfish desires of what is wanted for self. I missed out on knowing how selfish, and manipulative people could be. I failed to understand that I would give and give and never receive anything in return. I would give everything I had till there was nothing more for me to give, or someone would take their fill, and move on. What do I have if nothing anyone wants for a long hall? Learning how not to allow people to use and take advantage is a process for me. I don’t see the signs like most people do, so my blindness hinders me from finding healthy friendships/relationships. I can’t place my worth, or value in the hands of sinners. I must learn to focus on the love of Jesus Christ, and let go of the painful losses of friends, and loved ones. I am worth more than the brokenness I experience. I am valued by the words of scripture that say I am bought by blood to be accepted in Heaven, and I am a child of God.

Romans 12:9-21 (NKJV)“9 Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good. 10 Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another; 11 not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; 12 rejoicing in hope, patient[a] in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer; 13 distributing to the needs of the saints, given[b] to hospitality. 14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. 16 Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own opinion.

17 Repay no one evil for evil. Have[c] regard for good things in the sight of all men. 18 If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. 19 Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. 20 Therefore

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;

If he is thirsty, give him a drink;

For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.”

21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

I have approached relationships all wrong most of my life. I have thought the more I gave I would get back something, but when you give to people who have no respect for the relationship you will never see any return. It hasn’t been about what I would get back, but when you give and give, and receive nothing, that’s not a friendship. When you give your heart to someone and they don’t return that love, that’s not love. I have believed people loved me and in the end, I was only lying to myself. It’s time I don’t spend resources on those who would only squander it for their own purposes. God says to be good stewards of what we have, and if I am wasting my time and love on those who don’t truly care about it, it’s time for me to hold onto what I have till people truly come around and desire my time, my affections, my love. I cannot allow myself to fall into despair anymore when someone decides they are done with me. I cannot allow the pain to fill me up and cast me into the darkness of depression. I must learn to change my cognition to a more self promoting thought process, and remember that my value is found in Christ, and if I am working for the Lord, his approval is all I need.

Hello my name is Child of the one true King. His blood has saved me, I’m special and I am more than what people have done to me. I am more than how people have treated me, and I am more than I feel about myself. I have been bought by a pure sacrifice and if I weren’t worth anything, why then would Jesus lay his life down for me? I am worth more then I think I am, and it’s about time I start to see that. I am broken on the inside and Jesus Christ is the one mending my spirit and my heart. It won’t happen over night, but slowly, I’m starting to understand.