Where were you?
Where were you my God when I was all-alone, and scared? Where were you when I was being bullied at school every day? Where were you when I needed you? Where were you when my ex-wife was having an affair while my grandfather was dying? Where were you when my second wife was sleeping with another man while I was at home waiting? Where were you all those years I prayed for you feeling alone? I spent so many years crying in my bed for you, and as much as I wanted to feel you, I wouldn’t feel for years and years. Where were you God when I needed you the most in my life, did you sit back and watch unwilling to intervene in my life? I didn’t understand back then and even struggle now to see what the purpose was. I feel like there’s a monster within me screaming to get out. I feel dark, and I’m afraid of what lives inside me. I sometimes struggle with my faith, and when the night comes and the loneliness creeps in I just hope to make it through another night when I’m in dark times. My faith is sometimes hard to find when I can’t see your purpose, or feel your presence.
I’m sure many have felt this way before. I’m sure some of you feel that way right now. The truth is, I think a crisis in faith is something many go through. I think when you live through trials and troubles over and over it’s easy to become lost. The Lord tells us not to be afraid, do not be dismayed. Isaiah 41:10 (NKJV)10 “Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’”I can’t say I am always comforted by scripture, but often then not, I read to remind myself of the truth. Deuteronomy 31:6 (NKJV) 6 “Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.” Our emotions aren’t always accurate to the truth of a situation. It’s easy to forget that we aren’t ever alone because Satan wants us to feel cut off from God. It’s easy to fall into despair because the world tells us it’s “fend for yourself”. While this isn’t necessarily wrong, and this world will not help you in times of trouble most of the time, Christian brothers and sisters will. We are told to live in the world, but not be conformed to it. God has been with us every day so far, and will continue to be with us every day going forward.
If you start to look into your life and question where God’s been, I ask, are you truly willing to open the door to let God in? How willing have you been to help yourself? God will never send you into the lions den to fend for yourself without giving you the tools needed to face the challenge. There are forces at work all around us, forces of evil trying to destroy you, and forces of good that are trying to protect you. The world would have you believe it’s just a cruel place, and that there is no good reason bad things happen to good people. The world wants you to think that if God was good bad things wouldn’t happen. The world would have you blame God for being in an abusive relationship. I’ve heard it before, “if God were good why would he let my husband abuse me physically and emotionally.” While this is certainly sad, one might make the argument that it’s choice to stay. I’m not talking about divorce, but I am talking about removing yourself from harm. We want to blame God for being subjected to things, but how often do we remain by choice? How often do we tell those around us that we have no choice? I say this; there is always a choice. We don’t like to make choices we can’t see how everything will work out. We want to avoid the unknown, and we are willing to brave the fire in spite of the open ocean. We cannot ask where God is when we elect to stay in a place God isn’t welcomed. I have seen this meme over and over again after a school shooting, “Where was God?” and under God’s reply “I’m not allowed in school.” Do we do the same thing in our own homes? Do we ask where God is during the year in between Easter and Christmas when you haven’t been to a service once? Are we doing any Bible study at home, or is our Bible dusty from Sunday through Sunday? We must understand that though God is always with us, he doesn’t force his will upon us. We have to choose to want him in our lives, and it doesn’t work if we only want God around when we need a miracle or because we need a ‘Get out of jail free” card.
Instead of asking where was God, I ask where are you? Are you walk with God every day or just when it’s convenient? Are you looking like a Christian every day of the week or just the few hours on Sunday at church? If you want to know where God is, or has been, it’s time to ask yourself where you’ve been walking. If you you’re walking along the path and you aren’t sure where God is, check the bottom of your shoes. You may have very well been walking in the poo and wonder why your life stinks. It’s a hard truth, but one we must all face at some point. Being a Christian doesn’t mean it’s all sunshine and roses, on the contrary we are told we will face trials, troubles, and persecution under the name of Christ. It’s in these trials however we are pushed and tested, and often we can either draw closer to God, or allow the world to win the battle? When things are going bad, and things seem hopeless, your place should be in prayer with God, and in church. It’s time to open the doors, and let God in, not just when things go bad, but all the time.
The Arrow Preacher 