The Battle Continues:
It’s been well over a decade since an excited and scared kid ended up in the Middle East. He was filled with honor and duty. He thought he could single handedly save the day, or die in a blaze of glory. The truth was much less glorious. The days were long and hot, and difficult to the core of his being. The time for training was over, and the realization that every day could be the last on Earth, didn’t escape him. The desert heat and the sand that came with was a constant reminder he wasn’t in Michigan anymore. The constant bang of outgoing artillery, along with the sound of helicopters, and then the not so occasional incoming mortars and rockets kept the adrenalin at an unhealthy but necessary high. Was he broken already, because his fight or flight seemed to be. He barely winced when the explosions occurred at random throughout the day. At one point several months in that dingy and dirty place, he was on the roof, the faint pops of incoming rounds and yet, he stood tall upon the building, watching the rounds fall from the sky and the impacts causing dust and debris to fill the air. What was wrong with him, that these things didn’t seem to bother him in the slightest. Months prior less than a month into the deployment a well-planned ambush locked his crew in a dangerous game of surviving the maze. The enemy was ready and planned the route, a kill box. A few hundred to two. Two trucks against a couple hundred of well-armed insurgents. With IED’s *Road Side Bombs, set in wait, along with hundreds of armed men and even some women with shoulder fire rockets *RPG’s, and rifles. What hope could a couple trucks have against multiple city blocks of the house of terrors? The answer would come in the most unusual way. Psalm 144:1-2 “Blessed be the Lord my Rock,
Who trains my hands for war, And my fingers for battle— 2 My lovingkindness and my fortress,
My high tower and my deliverer, My shield and the One in whom I take refuge, Who subdues my people under me.” My fingers and hands were indeed trained for war, and in the middle of the battle I felt as if a presence had taken over my hands, guiding me, showing me how to get out of the kill zone. A sense of peace in the middle of the battle took hold of me. While there were screams of war surrounding me, and the sounds of weapons fire, explosions, and a dying truck, peace was with me. Holy Spirit, Angel sent by the Lord, I can’t say, but I know we were delivered by God from the midst of battle. The battle wages on in my head on a regular basis, but not so much as the fateful day when the world changed, the scars left behind would forever alter that kid who went to war as a kid, but would emerge something else.
“War is Hell” (Sherman) This seems so simplistic yet, real. War never really leaves us. “War, it doesn’t leave you. It… It can, it can bury itself, but it’s, it’s always there.” (Christine Chapel, ST. SNW)
War, leaves a mark, one that most cannot see. The things soldiers see in the course of their duty is that of nightmares, things we have become desensitized too in our lives due to Hollywood. Those who choose to wear the uniform bare the burdens of nightmares, and emotional scars, so that others may not have too. Freedom comes at a high price, and love it, or hate the politics involved, some bullies need to be stopped. Some battles must be waged by those who can, to protect those who can’t. The time to act was put before us, and no matter the truth as to why we were there, we were in fact there. The politics, and the reasons no longer mattered when the mission had become survive and to the best you can to impact your area in the most positive way possible. Attempt to bring peace and prosperity to where you were. Scripture says “18 If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.” Romans 12:18. Some days, the war comes to you, it hurts, it breaks you, and leaves you down on the floor, wondering how, why, did it all come to this?
The destruction of one Humvee is always a risk, one that the higher ups deemed as an acceptable one. The missions came daily, and all we soldiers could do was hope they were worth it. The explosion rings in my mind every day. The sight of the plomb of black smoke, one tan door a hundred feet into the sky, and a soldiers worst nightmare became reality. Four dead. What happened in those hours would both destroy lives, and create a new family. Tragedy often brings people together in ways that still surprises me. How do we get through such gruesome and tragic endings? Time, prayer, and family. War leaves a mark, and it never leaves. Some days, something comes to mind and it picks at the wounds, causing it to bleed, to tear open, and there is often little comfort.
Psalm 23
23 The Lord is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
2 He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
3 He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.
4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over.
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord
Forever.
We cannot change the past, and we cannot ignore it either. When the days come that the war comes back, we must give it, it’s due. We must acknowledge it, see it for what it is, and deal with it accordingly. Finding peace in tragedy is one of the hardest things a soldier will do. The training of a soldier is to change that person, train them to do the things that are opposite to human nature. Self-preservation is built into a personal DNA, yet a soldier will often run towards danger, stand tall, fight. A soldier will put those feelings into a box and put that box under lock and key in a closet with another door and lock, all to face the danger in front of them, and to be able to do so effectively. Soldiers, firefighters, police, doctors and nurses, all face these kinds of things. How does someone see their friends blown up, see the wreckage and sleep at night? Time, and effort, therapy, and prayer. There is no cure for the battle, but we can train ourselves to face the new type of warfare. The training to be a soldier takes a long time, sometimes years, but the truth is, you’ll never stop being a soldier, not really. Learning how to be something more when the soldering is done, takes a lot of time, and effort, but there is hope, because while you will never stop being a soldier, there is a way to be more. We are not defined by just one thing in our lives, parent, child, graduate, soldier, spouse, Christian. Psalm 23, a man, a soldier, a shepherd, a king, a husband, father, adulterer, murderer, judge, a man after God’s own heart, David held many tags for his life. How do we survive the trials and tribulations in life? Faith. We must have faith that God the Father is in control on the throne. We must have faith that our pain is not in vein. We must trust that while Satan often means things for our harm, for the Christian, God can and will use everything we go through for good. Will we stumble and fall? Sure we will. Will we have days when the PTSD hits us strong like a heavy weight punch to the face, absolutely. But through it all, scripture gives us all we need. Romans 5:1-5 5 “Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3 And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; 4 and perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”
Life isn’t going to be an easy time as a Christian. Sometimes we must fight the good fight. Sometimes we must put on the war vest and do our best to bring peace. Sometimes we have to stand up for those who can’t stand for themselves. No matter the battles, the hardships, the trials, we know we have a King, a Lord, a Savior who understands, and is there with us. We know the vail was torn and we have a direct line to the God of the Universe and we can turn to seek his face any time, day or night. We know that he is with us, and we will never be alone. We know he will never leave, nor will He forsake us. And we know that when we seek his forgiveness in true repentance, we will be forgiven. While we were soldiers, we who follow Christ, are both soldiers of our country, but also soldiers for Christ, the General of the Fathers army of Angels and men. We are part of the war for souls, and we are called to go forth, make disciples, baptize in His *Jesus name. We are called to fight the good fight. How do we carry on from war, we realize that one war is over, and the next begins. We fight for Jesus, and he fights for us. We sacrifice for Jesus, because he sacrificed for us. We seek his face, because he sought ours. We are strong not of our own will, but the strength He gives to us. He gives us refuge when we need refuge. He corrects us when we are wrong, holds us when we weep.
Take the battle one day at a time, and put your assurance upon the Lord of Lords. Cast your burdens upon him, and he will guide you. We were not given a spirit of fear, but one of Courage. Fight the good fight, and never give up, and never surrender.
The Arrow Preacher 