unanswered prayers – The Arrow Preacher

The Lover After You

September 8, 2018 thearrowpreacher9 Comments

The Lover After You

I was in love, and I was loyal, you took my heart, and you broke it. I took the blame, it was all my fault. What did I do, that was so very wrong? Time went on, and time began to heal, God saw fit to send me to you. Years go by, and the love grew strong, till one day, something was wrong. You decided to leave, you found someone knew, despite the promises between me and you. I watched you leave, as my heart shattered, what could I do, a life without you?

It’s been two years now since my wife left, two years this month. As September is known in my life as the month of Hell, I find it fitting I have started trauma therapy in the month of September. There’s been a lot of emotions lately that have sprung forth from the deepest depths of my psyche, and I often don’t know what to do with them. I find myself longing for companionship now two years later. With very little activity in that department, I have found myself becoming discouraged. The advice I was given recently pointed out that my relationship and trust in God might not be as strong as it should be. I have been thinking about how complete my life would be if I found someone special, but the truth is, God it seems has other plans for me right now. I can’t help but wonder why God’s seen it fit to keep me alone, but in this time of separation, I need to be reminded of the power of the Holy Spirit and trust that God’s grace is sufficient for me. 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NKJV)9 “And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

It’s not an easy thing feeling alone and isolated. It’s not an easy thing to desire something with all your fiber of your being, and being told no over and over again. It’s not easy seeing so much happiness come from so much pain. Knowing that God works in every situation, and knowing that in ever instance we have a choice to work to bring glory to God in our actions, or to let opportunities pass us by. I can never be whole without God, and there’s a hole in my heart. It’s likely I’ve been trying to fill it and pack it full of hopes for the future and not actually asking God what His plan is for me. While God will sometimes give you the desires of your heart, God always answers prayers in His time, not our own. Sometimes unanswered prayers are the blessing, and we need to realize that God can not only see the present, but our future also. We must learn to turn to God and allow God’s love to fill us up. We must trust in the love of our Father and crawl into his lap when we feel sorrow. We must learn to trust in Him, and we must learn to be patient in our wait for prayers to be answered. We must learn to continue moving forward and continue running the race even while we wait for the Lord to grant us our desires. It’s not an easy thing waiting on the Lord but we must wait with faith, and know that in God’s time things are perfect for us, and we must be bold, we must be confident because that trust in the Lord must be absolute. We don’t have to like everything God does, but we have to respect it. We can argue with God all we want but we will always loose.

I wait for a new love to find me. I wait for the new tomorrow I have longed so much for. I wait, but I must learn to do so with more patience and more understanding. More importantly, I must remember that it’s not me that’s the problem. I must learn to treat myself with more respect. I must learn that I am worthwhile, and I am worthy of love. I must learn that I am not what I have believed for many years. I am not worthless, and I am worthy of someone’s love. I am special and I have a lot to offer someone that may come into my life. I cannot let the Devil tell me otherwise. I must keep my heart clean from the lies I’m told every day in my life. For so many years I’ve believed the lies that were told to me, and now I’m trying to rewrite a lifetime of beliefs that are harmful. It’s not easy to move forward after you loose something so precious to you. It’s not easy fighting back against the constant rejection and testing of your faith, but in all things Christ will overpower the lies of the Devil. Know in your heart that when someone leaves you, or when someone cheats, cheating isn’t about you it’s about them. It’s about their own personal gratification and what they will do to feel good, no amount of pain they cause others will stop them. You will find a new love someday, have faith in God, and trust in the plan.

Play the Long Game

February 1, 2018February 1, 2018 thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

Play the Long Game

I was thinking recently about prayer. Why do we pray to God, and how do we think about that relationship? I’ve recently found myself frustrated that after all this time my prayers hadn’t been answered. I found myself thinking I had done something to upset God and therefore I wouldn’t be getting His grace. I kept thinking to myself ‘I spend all this time lifting others up, I help people and I guide them in the light of the Lord. So why am I left without the one thing I really want in this world?” While this question taunted me in both my dreams and my waking moments, it finally dawned on me. I remembered when I was younger. I was 15 years old and I was having some family problems. Long story short I needed to change my situation and I needed to make a move that would be permanent. With few options I realized I might have to move in with my Grandfather. With a little effort the move with my Grandpa was rather seamless. His house had 3 bedrooms so size wasn’t an issue. The school there was rumored to be a great school and smaller, much smaller so that would actually work out for me. The thing is, Grandpa had been trying to sell his house on and off for a few years and had absolutely no luck. Had his prayers been answered I wouldn’t have had a place to go in my time of need. For me moving to Big Rapids was the best choice I could have ever made. See, unanswered prayers were by design within the long game, and perhaps in the short term an inconvenience, but God doesn’t play the short game.

2 Timothy 4:7 “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” When you train for a marathon you learn to take your time, we learn to pace ourselves and see the bigger picture within our race. We always want so badly to finish the race and get the prize, but we don’t want to work to get there. On this long road we find ourselves on, do we get impatient when it comes to our prayers? I have been praying for the same thing for nearly 18 months now and my prayers have yet to be answered. I have asked why, and I have I fallen on my knees as tears fall from my face begging for my prayers to be answered and still I am met with silence.

Lord, I need you, BY: Matt Maher

Lord, I come, I confess
Bowing here I find my rest
Without You I fall apart
You’re the One that guides my heart

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

See the thing about prayer, and the thing about God is there’s a plan, and His plan isn’t always our plan, in fact his plan is never our plan. I have tried to remember on this lonely path of mine that sometimes we must learn to rest our minds and give it up to God. Prayer comes with one thing that’s so important and that’s faith. When we pray we are asking God to take care of said prayer. Whatever it is desired in our hearts that we take to God we must have Faith that those things are being taken care of, even if it’s not to our speed, or our liking. When we are hurting, or when we are lonely in our own time facing those valleys it can feel like an eternity. When we face our eternity the storm is terrifying, and we question how we can ever make it through. We question how we’re ever going to be strong enough to survive such a terrible storm. When you feel like you’ve lost your way, and you don’t know what to say, just remember that God gave us Christ, and in that we will always have hope. No matter the length of our prayers, the time we wait will not be for nothing.

When you feel like you are in the storm and you feel broken, and lost, wandering around in the worst pain you’ve ever felt, remember that in our sorrows, we turn to the one place we can find truth, real answers, and we will be renewed in our strength.

God of All My Days By: Casting Crowns

I came to You with my heart in pieces
And found the God with healing in His hands
I turned to You, put everything behind me
And found the God who makes all things new
I looked to You, drowning in my questions
And found the God who holds all wisdom
And I trusted You and stepped out on the ocean
You caught my hand among the waves
‘Cause You’re the God of all my days

Each step I take
You make a way
And I will give You all my praise
My seasons change, You stay the same
You’re the God of all my days

I ran from You, I wandered in the shadows
And found a God who relentlessly pursues
I hid from You, haunted by my failure
And found the God whose grace still covers me
I fell on You when I was at my weakest
And found the God, the lifter of my head
And I’ve worshiped You
And felt You right beside me
You’re the reason that I sing
‘Cause You’re the God of all my days

Worship is hard sometimes when you hurt. The road is long, but the “juice is always worth the squeeze” when God is concerned. God will never leave nor will He forsake you. We cannot see the joys that are coming in our life, but when we walk with God our blessings will be endless. We long for things in our heart, and when the time is right for us, we will be granted those things if they are to lift us up. The Lord can give and take away anything. I know for me, I long for the love of another. I feel alone most of my days and I struggle to find the joy in the things around me. I have prayed till my tears would flow no more. I have prayed with everything I had and yet no answer. It’s not easy to quiet your mind and allow the world to happen all around you, and find yourself content. It’s not easy being bombarded with lies from the Devil telling you, you’re not good enough. Lies telling you that you’ll never be loved, never be wanted. The Devil tells you lies like you’re worthless, and helpless. The Devil tells you, you deserved the pain that was brought down upon you. When we are in our own pain, it’s hard to see the way out of that. Sometimes the pain we’re in lasts a long time. Sometimes the heartbreak we feel goes far beyond what we ever expected it would. The long game though, a journey of thistles and thorns, the trials of fire to forge you into something more. You must be broken down to be built up stronger as something else. When you don’t know how to stand, don’t, fall to your knees and pray. When you don’t know how to walk anymore, crawl. When you can’t see your way, stop and close your eyes. When you can’t move, learn to be still. When your world is upside down, learn to pray, learn to cry, learn to be exactly wherever you are. God will allow you to go through Hell to get to Heaven. You’re stronger then you know, because if you have God in your heart you can achieve greatness. You’re a child of the King and if that’s the truth, then you have the winning side in your corner. Have faith and keep your sight on the Golden Ring.

My God,

You have seen it fit to allow me to walk this path alone on this earth. You have seen it fit to give me just what I need to keep moving forward. My God you have seen it fit to leave me alone with no companion. You’ve seen it fit to allow my body to fail me, and with no sign of reprieve I ask you my God to take me out of the shadows. My God I ask for you to remove this pain from my heart and show me the sun once more. I pray to you to take me out of this storm and give me rest. My God you are the God of all the hills and valleys and I pray to be laid beside the green meadows, and no longer in the valley. I have trusted you my Lord and as I still do I know that in all things you have the power and the will to change anything. My God I ask to help my friends who are suffering this night. I pray you give them rest, and peace where they need it. I pray to rise me up to the top of the mountain and give me the strength to stand, and run, free from the shadows that taunt me at night. I know I’m not alone even though I often feel like it. Protect me from the lies I hear in the dark. Protect me from the attacks I face day in and day out. I know my God someday I will move forward, and I know that even though I feel like I’m going backwards, and I know I’m not home yet. I know I have more to do, and I pray for the wisdom to see it through to the end. I pray to have the strength and wisdom of my brother Paul who was your beautiful Child, who ran the race, and taught and preached your word. I see so much, and I pray I see through your eyes. I know that today isn’t the end, and even though I feel tired, and I feel weak, I know that you will strengthen me to finish strong. Guide me through this storm, and allow me to continue to do the works you have me do. Allow this little Blog to grow and spread further into the world. Allow my struggles to be someone else’s strength. Give me guidance and if your will is to answer my prayers I understand it will be in your time. In all things I give thanks and I pray for peace and joy upon my friends and family. “I’ll live this life till this life won’t let me live here anymore.” (Big & Rich) Your will be done my Lord, my King, my Abba.

Amen.

Wants of Life

December 11, 2017 thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

Wants of life

Sometimes in life we can want something so badly but we never get it. I have experienced that a lot this last year. The things I’ve wanted and I have prayed for have never come to be. While I greatly appreciate the things I do have, there area couple of things I don’t have I long for and wonder why I’ve yet to be given the things I desire most.

We often ask ourselves what we’ve done to deserve such horrible things in our life. While sometimes our bad miss fortune comes from our own selfish and arrogant choices, sometimes bad things happen to the innocent just because of other people’s selfishness. In those bad times we may wish we had it better, or often say if I only had this life wouldn’t be so hard anymore. While these statements are true and probably have been uttered by nearly every one of us at some point, it’s the struggles in our life that truly define who we are. How one person deals with adversity is far more important then how hey deal with life’s bliss.

When we look to the things we desire we can’t always see the writing on the wall, that sometimes that thing, that one thing we wanted may actually not be good for us at all. Sometimes we should be thankful for unanswered prayers. We must accept

that if the time comes we will get what we want, and if we don’t there’s probably a reason for it.

My deepest desire is for a family of my own. To find a woman to love and cherish who will do the same to me. Someone I can have kids with and experience what it is to be a parent. While I’ve been so close to

That and have watched it crumble and be ripped away, I believe even though I’m incredibly lonely this holiday season, some day, my princess will come. (Yes I know it sounds cheesy)

Truly I would love for someone to take up the mantle of my Black Canary. I would love for someone to come into my life that will accept me, and help me along my path. You know you’re on the right path when in two people you find one another’s best selves. When you push each other to be better, to grow, to support one another. Having faith in those relationships despite my own horrors in my past relationships, it’s something I still dream about and long for.

Have faith that God is still there and if you haven’t gotten what you want, that you’re being prepared for it, or something better. God Loves his children and wants his children to be happy. Plans for joy, not pain. We must remember to have faith, keep the fire and light bright in our spirits and remember that God is supreme. Recognize the blessings this holiday season, and remember the reason we celebrate. It’s not the presents, it’s not the food, it’s the baby that so many years ago that was born to one day die to break the chains of eternal sin. Merry Christmas to all. And thank God for unanswered prayers.