Let your word be your bond

Let your word be your bond

How many of you have been stood up, or canceled on time and again? How many people have told you they would do something you depended on them to do, and they’ve canceled or dropped the ball? So this is a touchy topic for me because it’s been happening to me a lot lately.

From wedding vows, to promises, to making plans, peoples word means next to nothing anymore. I’ve met so many people online that try to scam you, or get you with their friendly talk only to want you to shell out money for them, or catfish who just like hurting peoples feelings. I’ve had ex wives lie to me, and I’ve had best friends who swore they’d never leave, till they do. I’ve watched as this world has fallen to the depravity of lies and deceit and now I find myself in the center of some of the worst times of my life and yet instead of friends flocking to my side to help hold me up, they’ve stepped on the cross to push me deeper into the ground. When it feels like I’m being crushed I know that just like the bat signal in the sky, I cry to the Lord for strength and then to the Devil himself, I exclaim to come and get me because I will stand toe to toe with the Devil every day, and I know that there’s nothing the Devil can do because me and Jesus come together and we can get through any and everything the Devil might try to do.

It doesn’t matter how many friends leave. It doesn’t matter how much my body fails. It doesn’t the matter the muddy water I’m in, I know how the story ends, and it ends with my death, and every ounce of pain, every bit of sorrow being expunged from my life and I will look down at the Devil in hell and smile. I am God’s favored child and I know that the pretender that tries so hard to tempt us will always loose the fight.

People’s inability to live up to their word, and those who lie and consistently let you down, I know that one day, they will need me and I will do the Lord like thing, and I will be there for them. I make a promise I keep it. I have always been there for my friends. I have always made the time to talk, I’ve always gone to great lengths to help them, and for those who’ve taken my kindness for granted and for those who’ve not cared the amount of effort I’ve put it, it doesn’t matter because God knows my heart, and my ability to help others is strong and for the glory of Jesus. When the darkness surrounds me and the thoughts creep in, I know that there’s nothing the Devil can do to take away what I have. The ashes fell like snow around my life as I watched everything I built burn to the ground, but even in those moments, I knew that the reason was beyond my understand and that I had to have faith in the Lord. See the Lords promise is never wavering. The Lords word that we are free from death, and that in this life as a Christian we will face problems, we will face persecution, we will be attacked by the Devil, and those who are the most faithful will have the Devil nipping at their heals the most.

When those around me lie, cheat, steal, and fail to be the friend they’ve promised, I will do the one thing I can, and that’s to look in the mirror, and make the change from within. “I’m startin with the man in the mirror.” (Batman/Jackson) When those around me break me, drag my feelings through the mud, the place to be is on top and doubling my efforts to be there for others. “If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make a change.” (Man in the Mirror)

My message to everyone this holiday season is to stop saying you’re going to do something and don’t. Stop lying about your intensions or what you’re going to do. Just tell the truth, honor your vows, your promises, and if you’re going to be a friend, then be a friend.

Proverbs 11:3 The integrity of the upright guides them, but the crookedness of the treacherous destroys them.

Ecclesiastes 5:2 Don’t make rash promises, and don’t be hasty in bringing matters before God. After all, God is in heaven, and you are here on earth. So let your words be few.

Ecclesiastes 5:4-6 “When you vow a vow to God, do not delay paying it, for he has no pleasure in fools. Pay what you vow. 5 It is better that you should not vow than that you should vow and not pay. 6 Let not your mouth lead you[a] into sin, and do not say before the messenger[b] that it was a mistake.”

Matthew 5:37 “But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil.”

It’s simple, keeping your word shows you have dignity. When you fail to live up to what you say you’ll do, or break promises, it damages your credibility. As a Christian we are taught that our upright credibility is very important. God wants for us to do the right things, and that starts with what comes out of our mouths.

Icarus

Icarus

A boy with wax wings who was told to soar above the clouds but warned not to get to close to the sun for the wings would melt and he would fall. We are often a lot like that in our joys of the flesh. We push the limits, push the boundaries for Gods forgiveness and we think our actions never have consequences. The fact is however, we play with fire sooner or later you’re going to get burned.

We sin without repercussions to our own understanding but our sight is but narrow and Gods is wide. Our gaze only sees what we want to see, we only experience within our own understanding, and we don’t understand how deeply our sinful actions hurt our Father.

When we sin without limit, without thought to our sin we are flying like Icarus and if we aren’t careful our sin will cause us to fall. We never know when our time is up and if we choose to live a life without accepting responsibility for our actions we too could face the heat of the sun on our wax wings.

Remember you are granted the power of free will but ‘with great power comes great responsibility.’ (Spider-Man) In that power we must remember that with that responsibility is also a responsibility to oversight. Without the oversight to keep an eye on what we do we may often forget that ‘the bill comes due, always.’ (Dr. Strange)

My Super Power

My Super Power

So this may come as a complete shock to most of you, but I have a super power. In the last year and after an exhaustive amount of time on dating sites, I have come to find I am invisible. The amount of greetings I’ve sent in a year verses the amount of new friends or relationships I’ve made being under 5 shows me I am likely to be invisible to most people. In my mind the more dating sites I joined the better my odds were at making friends, and finding a relationship.

When you send more then a dozen greetings in a day and yet I receive no replies. The truth is in today’s world online dating stinks. The internet is littered with people who try to con you, who try to use you, and that’s if you warrant the attention. Finding the frauds is more and more difficult as their game has changed. While their game changes it’s also important for mine to change.

For many people invisibility is a real annoying truth. Going all day with few people making an attempt to reach out, and not being able to make new connections, it’s been a long road. When you look at how those sites work they are largely looks based to start with. If you aren’t a 10 in this world you don’t get far. This world has become shallow and no longer cares about the deeper parts of a person, instead it’s worried about the way people look. The old saying never judge a book by its cover obviously never caught on. The point is, don’t lower your own standards to fit into the world. Never give up on your own biblical principles just because the world has. Never give up on your moral compass to fill the void you may have. It’s easy to get lonely and start to think of ways to fill that void, but the feeling that comes from putting your beliefs aside to make your worldly desires feel better is horrible.

It’s not easy spending the holidays alone, especially two in a row. It’s not easy to be lonely, it’s not easy to feel left out, or abandoned. It’s not easy feeling like there’s a void deep within your heart, but there’s hope. John 15:18-19 “If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.” It’s not easy being lonely day in and day out.

People in this life can be mean and cruel. They can try to use you, abuse your kindness, try to take advantage, and with all of that, the things some people say to you just hurts. I was talking with someone and offered to show them around town because they were new to the area. They wanted something from me, and when I refused they said my ex wife made the right choice in leaving me, that I wasn’t worth sticking around. Even though she was a stranger, the words still hurt. While it’s very common to run into people on the internet who try to scam you, or pray on your naivety, you have to have your wits.

It’s a sad reality to know that most people on these dating sites are out to get you. The vast majority of the people in my experience that have talked with me desire something. iTunes gift cards, transfer money through western union, or any number of other means. While it hurts to know I’m either invisible, or people think I’m easy prey. Regardless, it doesn’t make life easy when all your met with on your quest is negativity, and rejection. Both of them hurt, and when people don’t get what they want and they take a stab at hurting you, it’s a tough pill to swallow. The key is to remember that though you may be invisible to people because lets face it, people aren’t very nice sometimes, you’re never invisible to God. You are His creation, and he is our (Abba) father. He cares about you, he cares about your happiness, and your well being, so when people hurt you, God hurts for us. God is never not with us, and you will always be a priority for God. Both good and bad, God wants us to be happy. God wants us to have a relationship with Him. Yes it’s hard to be alone during the holidays especially, but in that time alone, at least try to take some comfort knowing that the Father of the universe, the King on the throne, the creator of life and Heaven, knows you and loves you. You can’t deny how amazing that is, that even in our tiny little lives, God loves us so much, that Jesus Died for our, and even if it was just one of us, Jesus would have given His life.

My super power may be invisibility at the moment, but one day, my kindness, my generosity, my love and compassion will pay off, and my obedience to the Lord, my love for people, and my steadfast stance against the Devils attacks, I will be rewarded in abundance for my actions. And to borrow a line from the Dark Knight himself, “It’s not who I underneath, but what I do that defines me!” Don’t let other people’s opinions destroy you. Yes it hurts, yes, the words sting and you will feel it, but don’t let it break you. You aren’t trash because God doesn’t make trash. You aren’t a mistake because God doesn’t make mistakes. You are perfectly made, and somewhere out there, there’s someone perfectly made for you. Don’t give up hope, and never quit.

All our Hope

All our hope

All we can do is drop to our knees and pray, placing all our hope in Jesus. I know I’m not worthy to inherit the Kingdom of Heaven, but God is big and I am small. Some people are cruel, and manipulative. Pray to God for their souls, pray to God for the change that needs to happen.

I’ve been down on my knees a lot lately. I’ve been taken to the emotional woodshed, and all I can say is Thank God yesterday’s gone. Im no stranger to pain, no stranger to heartache and heartbreak, but I’m free and I’m saved in the Blood of Christ. We can be beaten, tortured, we can loose it all on this world, and we can be broken down, we can be so hurt we may not feel like we can breathe anymore, but if you can still draw breath, then the hope in Christ, all our sins are forgiven, our tears will one day be wiped away, and the pain of yesterday will be gone.

There’s nothing anyone can do to take your salvation away. Your heart for Jesus will outlive your pain, the attacks you will face daily. ‘If you can take it you can make it’ unbroken.

A Journey In The Darkness

A Journey in the darkness

Psalm 91:4 “He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.”

The joys of this life can be easily snuffed out in the mists of dark days, of struggles, and of heartbreak. When the days get you down you have to be strong. It’s so easy to fall into darkness and despair. I’ve seen it happen in my own life, and in the lives of many that I know. Despair is a dangerous and sometimes deadly trap. Despair can easily turn into quicksand and drag you down, and must like the Dementors in the famed Harry Potter books, it can suck the happiness right out of your lungs and make you feel like you’ll never be happy again. One thing in my own life I’ve found is how fickle some friends can be. Since my gun shot wound a year ago I’ve found more and more friends are fickle and come around only when they want something, or they are bored and know you’ll be there as a last resort.

While there’s no doubt that this hurts, and I know I can’t be the only person that goes through this, what hurts the most is the exodus that’s occurred. While I realize that bullet changed my life, and while I am responsible, the feeling of loss from the mass abandonment that was left behind is heart breaking. Now over a year later, I’ve had another exodus from obvious different causes, but never the less the pain is the same. This presents a new kind of struggle, and yet again staring at the brink of darkness, and once more unto the breach. The war continues and as there is a great sense of loss, I am left with one undeniable fact, that I am not alone. Though the case may be that while physically and emotionally I am or feel alone, God is always there with me. While this doesn’t take away the desire and drive to meet someone special, or want to make new local friends, it does prevent me from falling into complete and total despair.

I know at the end of the day when I’m feeling down and I’m feeling blue, I know that my future is much brighter then it appears because I know that my Abba is looking out over me. I swore no matter how bad it got I would never stair down the wrong side of that circumstance again, and that I would be an advocate for finding another way. There is always hope as long as we breath, and while I am lonely, while my Christmas wish is to find love, and to not being alone anymore, and to make some good local friends, I know that God is with me and in time, those things will be mine, because it’s what my deepest desire is from my heart. I may not always makes the right choices, but I try to.

If you’re feeling despair this season reach out, find someone. If you’re happy as can be this holiday season, reach out to your friends or family that are having a hard time. Don’t forget this is both the happiest time of year, and often the saddest. Faith is so important, and even when it’s sometimes hard, don’t loose hope, and never give up. Don’t ever forget that you can be protected under Angels wings, and your God, the King of all is powerful enough to handle any situation, every tear, every cut, you aren’t suffering through it alone. God is not just watching, God experiences it all with us. Rest assure you will make it out, and one day you will make it home, a home of pure perfection.

 

 

 

Spirit in the Sky

Spirit in the Sky

Matthew 12:31-33 “31 And so I tell you, every kind of sin and slander can be forgiven, but blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven.  32 Anyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven, but anyone who speaks against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven, either in this age or in the age to come.  33 “Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit.”

 Look to the sky and you will see the birds that fly, the clouds so high. You’ll see the stars at night, and the moon so bright. You’ll see the vastness that exists but only a fleck of dust in the cosmos of the vastness of space. Who are we, and what are we doing here? We are a beautiful and unique creation within the vastness of space. We may not be the only life out there and probably aren’t, but that doesn’t mean we are any less special. We are God’s many children and we are loved just the same. We are loved when we are good and even when we aren’t. We’re loved when we sin and when we give endlessly. God loves us no less yesterday as he does tomorrow. Forgiveness is ours and we have it to give back. When we look around us at those who walk besides us, how do we react when someone makes a mistake that affects us? When we are in an accident do we fly off the handles, or are we calm and understanding? No matter what day you find yourself everyone has a story, and we only see a fleeting second of that story. When we look above and we see the vastness of everything around us, are we seeing life in the context in which it should be viewed? We may only be able to affect the world around us on a macro scale, but that doesn’t mean for the small impact we may have, that isn’t equally as important as the next.

We must have respect for the Holy Spirit and allow it to fill you up, guide you, and protect you. How often I have been so close to death, but managed to escape nearly unharmed. It has not gone beyond my comprehension that there’s something more powerful then I behind the scenes pulling strings. I have felt the Holy Spirit, and I have heard it. It’s filled up my heart, and my soul, and I have faith in it. Some days you just need to look to the sky, close your eyes, and feel the breeze and know that you’re being watched over.

If you don’t feel the Spirit around you, you’re just not paying attention. It’s everywhere, in everything, and life all around you touched by the hand of God. Don’t let the world blind you from the truth. Don’t let life get so busy you can’t see the beauty in front of you.

 

Back To Life

Back to life

The return to my normal life came back like a kick in the face. Less then 24 hours after my return I find myself right back in the war. My first appointment was supposed to be easy and straight forward and yet the VA’s propensity for failure is never without a small sense of irony.

While the appointment wasn’t a total loss, it was a quick reminder I’m no longer in paradise and I needed to be ready to pick up arms again and be ready for the impending fight.

When you return from a vacation, or in my case an intense clinic of physical and psychological exorcises designed to push, motivate, and rejuvenate your soul, it’s a challenge returning to life and watching as the difficulty continues.

It’s important to stay focused and realize that just because there are hiccups in the road doesn’t mean all is lost. I’m finding myself in a struggle to manage the emotional roller coaster, but as far as frustrations go, breaking out in chronic hives is high on my list. Breathing and trying to recall the serenity prayer is a big step for me to remaining focused on the big picture.

Returning Home

Returning Home

After a week in paradise it’s time to make the long flight home. After the time here on this beautiful and majestic island I find myself slightly torn. While there are aspects of my life back home I miss dearly, the time here in this beautiful place has rekindled a fire within me, and I know feel the urge to drastically change my circumstances to promote a better, more healthy lifestyle for myself. The point of the clinic was to open your eyes to new possibilities, teach yourself to interact with others again, and to push yourself to new boundaries. There are things I never thought I’d actually do, and even more then I ever thought I could do.

We can be amazed at the possibilities when we are actually pushed to go beyond our comfort zone, work as a team and find some kind of accepted level of accomplishment when it’s greater then the sum of what we gave ourselves credit for. The chance of a lifetime can sometimes only come up a small number of times, and it’s important for us to catch it before it’s gone.

When you’re riding into the waves it feels like you aren’t getting anywhere. You can paddle and paddle, but feeling the strain and the fatigue that comes with the effort put in, do you feel you have gained in equal amounts? When you go surfing you paddle to get yourself in a good position, the work you put in to get out to your spot may not give you instant gratification. Sometimes in surfing you wade in the water for a little while. But when the wave comes and you begin to paddle with the wave, and you can pop up, and ride it, standing up on the water, seeing, and feeling the fruits of the labor you’ve put in, that’s what surfing’s all about. Isn’t life the same way? We are a nation of microwave oven, fast food, right here right now, instant gratification, loving people. We no longer wait for the work to take hold, we expect it right here right now, and our way. You may not catch every single wave, and when you learn to read them, you learn that a particular wave may not be for you. That doesn’t mean you aren’t in the right place though. We need to learn to be patient with our efforts, and know that eventually the right way will come along, and God will give you the tools to be able to ride that wave when the time is right.

I think one of the biggest things we do is get ourselves into a comfortable routine, and we no longer stay in motion like we should. It’s easy to fall to the wayside of life and flounder, not really going anywhere. We can’t always maintain a particular pace, but we at least need to doing something. Even then sometimes being patient and scouting the waves, allowing ones self to watch for the right opportunity, that to can be an advantage, as long as we don’t stay in that holding pattern forever.

Trust in the Lord and you will be taken care of. Some waves are bigger, some are smaller, some will let you down, and some with thrash you all around, but no matter which wave you’re on, use your situation to glorify the Father, and never stop seeking your next wave.

Finding your center

Finding your center

Sitting on the side of the ledge of the island looking at the sunrise, the waves glistening from the sunlight making the water look like diamonds. The breeze tropical, the smell of the salt, the few clouds occasionally making the sun playing peek-a-boo with the ground below, the only thing you can think about is how wonderful life is. While this can sometimes be an allusion, the fact remains, you must learn to find your center in any situation you may find yourself.

As a Veteran I’ve had to place a lot of energy into keeping the anger built up to be subdued, and while for me particularly angry out bursts are rare for some, it’s an everyday occurrence. It’s so important to learn how to keep yourself centered and grounded. The Bible tells us to Love our neighbors as ourselves. If we are to love, that means we much learn to love others as we are taught what love is, and that’s patient, kind, not boastful, it doesn’t keep score, it doesn’t boast, and if we can find that love for one another, we would be much more in tuned, and we would find that we can live more harmoniously with those around us.

Through prayer and meditation, we can accomplish so much. We can truly allow our bodies to heal better, and we can find ourselves having a better grasp on mental health then before. While this isn’t something that comes easily for everyone, it is something that just like practicing at any sport it takes time, energy, focus, and practice. Allow yourself to reconnect with yourself, and be kind to yourself, and your surroundings. Peace can be found with a little love in your heart.

While this is my last post from the beautiful state of Hawaii, I find myself both sad and excited. I have felt a rejuvenation deep down into my soul and I know I needed this trip. The Aloha (Love-Kindness) I have felt since I’ve been here has been so warm, and kind, and even a little unexpected. This is an island where there’s a lot of beauty, and awe, and love. Nearly everyone I met greets with a hug, some even from strangers a kiss on the cheek, and the generosity of the people from this island has been beyond amazing. The lessons for surfing and all the surf boards were donated time even as last minute as it was, just because of what CORE stands fore. The amazing things these guys are doing, helps us find something we’ve been missing, and sometimes lost. The Canoe lessons were also free, both times. This has defiantly had an impact on me, and I hope to find a way to pay it forward. God has placed me in paradise at a time in my life when I couldn’t have needed this more.

Finding your center 2

I’m able to close my eyes and see Diamond Head in the distance, across the water the giant peek springs from the ocean towards the sky. Its beauty is unmatched. I can only hope to keep that place in mind, and allow myself to reach back to the moments I gazed upon the stunning sight, and I am able to remember the ocean sounds and breeze, and find a sense of peace. Finding ones center, and reminding myself, there is still beauty in this world, even when we can’t see it.

On the water

On the water

While plans may change sometimes suddenly, the key to happiness is not letting those things knock you off your keel. You need to remain solid in your footing and learn to brace with the waves. When life’s gets into rough seas you have to learn how to deal and adapt to the changing winds and learn to navigate without your ship sinking. While there will always be times when you may loose a lot, always hope and continue to sail the open seas.

Be sure to remain flexible, but firm. Stand your ground against the sin, and relax when you can about the small stuff that really doesn’t matter. While plan A, and plan B fell through today, plan C actually worked out pretty darn well. While we are on this great adventure I find myself being reconnected to people, and for me, since it’s been too long, feels great. I haven’t felt connected in a long time.

We must learn to take advantage of the ups when we are there, and much like surfing, use the wave to propel you but never stop paddling till you stand up to ride it. When we get the perfect ride we can’t miss those opportunities. Never give up hope your wave will arrive, you just have to be patient and it’ll come. Have faith in the Lord and when it’s your run, you’ll be given the perfect ride.

There’s some peace on the water that you don’t usually find in other places. The only other place I found peace was at the top of the mountain looking over the earth from such a high place. In the grand scheme of things you are so small in comparison, and instead of feeling small and insignificant, it made me feel so much more important because if the world is truly so big, and I am so small, how special am I to know that the King of all things took the time to create me, to look out for me, who hears my prayers, and provides in all aspect of my life. I am grateful to my King my Abba that I am special enough that I have been given beyond my wildest dreams opportunities like the one I find myself on this week. The ability to travel to the other side of the world, and enjoy such a beautiful and wonderful magical place has been more of a blessing then I ever deserved. I’ve had people tell me these last few days that I have deserved this trip, and I question what exactly I’ve done to deserve this kind of blessing. The truth is, it doesn’t matter, what does is that I have been given this blessing, and that I don’t waist it. I use it, and I move forward with this blessing and use it to the betterment of those who I connect with. Paying forward is such an important aspect of Christianity, and we often fall short in doing that. \

I think one of the biggest things we need to do in our lives is find our thing. Find the thing that can reconnect you. Find it, whether it be meditation, hiking, running, reading your bible, whatever it may be, find that thing, and do that thing often. There are plenty of things that are safe and within reason that will ultimately change your life. Keep yourself in tune with God, and keep yourself in tuned with the beauty of this planet and treasure it because it’s the only one we get. We have been given such a beautiful place to enjoy our lives, I think it’s about time we get back to actually enjoying it. Bad things happen to everyone, and we can either let them hold us back, or push through, and find our joy again. Find your joy in the gifts God has given you. Enjoy the beauty.