Invisible

Invisible

Colossians 1:15He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. Jesus Christ

Have you put thought in the true power of God? The creator of the universe in perfect harmony loves you. Jesus Christ walks with us every single day and is with us while we are on this journey of discovery. We often find ourselves feeling alone, and angry that we don’t feel God. We don’t always see God around us, and we don’t feel okay. See, when we look further in the letter by Paul we find more of the mystery of God. Colossians 1:16“For by Him all things were created, both in the heavens and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things have been created through Him and for Him.” God is so big, and so powerful, we underestimate the awesome power that we have in our corner.

I have walked through this life questioning my faith on occasion. It wasn’t so much a question of whether or not God was real, it was more of ‘Does God Care?” I’ve struggled with the amount of pain I struggled through, but when I think back, and knowing what I know now, the invisible God who’s everywhere, was with me the whole time. God promises never to leave or abandon us. There’s a war going on in the shadows all around us, and we are the targets of the enemy. This war that takes place invisible is not to be understated. The spiritual warfare that Paul talks about is very much real. While the characters are invisible the affects are as real as they come. The fallen angels that followed Lucifer now called demons help him lay the lure to see what fish they can catch. We are easily drawn to the world, sin is a powerful, attractive force. It can be very difficult to see sin for what it is and walk away. While the enemy is always trying to draw you out away from your protection, Jesus Christ is with you reminding you of the right path.

When you commit a sin and you feel that sense of emptiness afterwards, or that sense of shame, that’s the Holy Spirit filling you with conviction, reminding you what you did was wrong, and that you need to repent of your sins. We cannot see the Holy Spirit but much like the air we breathe it’s there, surrounding us all the time, we just have to take a moment away from the world and truly focus on the force that surrounds us, and flows through us.

The Devil’s affects are very real even though we can’t see him and his demons skulking around us. He wants us to forget that he’s not the only one in this world. Jesus Christ and the army of Angels protect over us. It’s hard to remember how gracious God is to us when we feel the suffering of this life. “You’re gonna suffer, but you’re gonna be happy about it.” (Prizinor of Azkaban) Ron says this to Harry about his tea leaves. The connection to scripture is very real, we are told we will suffer, and in Colossians 1:11 “strengthened with all might, according to His glorious power, for all patience and longsuffering with joy;” This life takes time to get through. And as I was once told recently the process of gold refinement is a slow process. The gold is heated as the impurities rise to the top, scrapped away, and then put back into the fire. Each time a little more of the impurities are scrapped away till eventually the gold is so shiny in it’s molten state the gold smith can see his/her reflection in the liquid. We are the same, that in every trial, in every struggle a bit more of the impurity is burned and scrapped away. If we are to live in Christ then we must allow those impurities to be removed. If Jesus is the gold smith we must allow ourselves to be put back into the fire so one day when he looks at us he sees his reflection in us. We may not be able to physically see Christ but his presence is clear. This life is but a fleeting moment in the prospect of eternity and if we are to join the angels, and God in perfection then we must be willing to allow the forging process to make us strong, make us shiny and new. When the pain is gone and the worry and doubts fade away the purest gold will be all that’s left in our hearts, and as we face judgment at the foot of the cross the final impurities will be washed away in forgiveness of our sins and we will be allowed to enter heavens gates, if we trust in Jesus, love him with our whole hearts, and believe in the process we must endure to get there. Our savior suffered for us, and who are we to think we shouldn’t have to suffer? As for me, I brace for each of the storms in this invisible but very real war for the souls of man. On that day I reach the gates of Heaven, I pray for two words from my Lord, “well done.” I can live with the suffering now to one day walk with Jesus in perfection.

Don’t give up on yourselves and trust in the refining process. I can’t help but not think of the song Hard Love by NEEDTOBREATHE. I’ve used that song many times in my writings, but it is so true. “It’s gonna hurt but don’t you slow down.” “It takes some time to make your courage strong.” It’s true that as long as you breathe there’s hope, but we cannot place our hope in this world, we must place our hope in Heaven, and our Savior that’s there preparing a place for us. There’s no hope in this life for this world, except that salvation awaits us. We are never promised and easy life, we are never promised peace while we breathe this air, but in Heaven our hope resides. No the process getting to Heaven isn’t easy because we have to first live this life, but what a worthwhile venture. I can take the beating, and the ridicule, and the pain because I know that one day Satan will no longer have dominion over the place I live. While I am here on this world, I know that Satan is spreading pain and suffering all around, but in Heaven the throne has God almighty and he loves his Children.

We may not be able to see the Holy Spirit, but we can feel it all around us. All we can do is ask Jesus to take our suffering and use it to glorify Him. Have faith in Christ, and give thanks to being alive another day, and doing work that will glorify the King. Heaven is worth the suffering of this life, and since God waists nothing, we can always find good in the trials we go through, we just have to look for them. Change your perceptions and give thanks for the opportunities to praise Jesus, and draw closer to God in the fire. Never give up hope because our hope is not in this world,  but in the Heavenly home.

 

 

Not Gonna Die Tonight

Not Gonna Die Tonight

The sun rises springing up hope. The shadows retreat into the abyss and safe from death for another night. I’m gonna fly today and fight another day. The sun grants hope, and faith is restored. Jesus taught us not to fear the darkness, and to even travel into battle, courageous, full of strength, never allowing our senses to be dulled and holding firm against the minions of Satan. The night brings doubt, and fear, uncertain of what’s lurking in every shadow, but if we are walking in Christ, and for Christ, we shine brightly forcing the darkness to retreat. We stand tall as a courageous warrior for Christ, and when we stand toe to toe with the enemy, or the servants of Satan we must not allow fear to take control.

Tonight the sun will set and the whispers rise up breaking the silence, filling your mind of dark thoughts. Your salvation is secure if you know the Lord. The enemy has no power over you. The enemy has nothing to leverage over you. You have a ledger of all your sins, all your transgressions, and yet, in a single dying wish, we are forgiven of our lowest thoughts and actions. Grace and mercy are weapons against death and they save all who accept treatment for the sickness that has spread over this beautiful planet like a cancer.

We must prepare the armor every night in preparation for the pending attacks that will come. Night for me is the hardest time. Fear fills my heart and my mind making me question who I am. I question my worth, my love, and I doubt I am worthy of anyone’s affections. I wonder if I’m so damaged I am not a good fit for anyone. The evil finds its way into my mind and I begin to mount resistance. Satan tries hard to remove me from the board and I’m still here. Every single day is a battlefield and each and every time I open my eyes in the morning is another day Satan failed to bring me down. It’s hard to remember how important and precious you are because the world is designed to lie to you. Friends and family forsake you, the world may take everything from you, but the one the one thing that can’t be taken from you is your salvation. You’re a precious commodity of the Lord’s and Jesus Christ did not die in vein. We cannot allow the darkness to take up a permanent residence in our mind and spread to our hearts. You wake up in the morning and you can break free of Satan’s grasp. Everyday is a gift from God and every day our faith is restored that we are still here. Do not be afraid. Be bold and strong trusting in the Lord to heal your wounds. We have enemies all around us and we are soldiers in a war. Soldiers can win battles but doesn’t promise free from injury. We may be wounded but Christ mends the broken spirit. Feel the sun on your face and wipe away your tears, tend to your injuries, and know that Christ is always with you. No one gets out of this life alive, but because of a death we will live. The resurrection of Christ is hope to all. We must be brave and remember the voice of truth always.

Behind each solder in this life is a promise of that hope. For fighting for Christ we are promised peace and eternal blessings. Be something more than a pawn. Do not be an unknowing participant of the Devils schemes. Do not fall for the games, and the half truths. The messiah has come to save us from a life of living in no hope, a land full of darkness and despair, in which we are passing through but not truly living. 1 John 2:15-17 “Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world. 17 And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever.” We cannot love the world, and hope the world will love us back. We cannot place our faith in the world when the world is under the rule of the Devil. The world is a cruel and unforgiving place, but in lieu of so much darkness we have a forgiving Father who wipes our slate clean, washes us from the filth that are exposed to as ambassadors for Christ. Warriors must be willing to make sacrifices, be willing to low crawl in the mud and even put him/her self in harms way.

The Devil cheats you, lies to you by giving just enough truth to make the argument sound good. The Devil gets in your head feeding you hope in freedom away from the laws of God. The Devil sews dissention and attempts to bring chaos to the world. Cast unto the fire is the fate that awaits those who tried to overthrow God. The Devil, Lusifer, who was cast out of perfection does not want to live in Hell for eternity alone so those who fall for the lies, the deceits, the philosophy of man shall join him in an eternal fire. Colossians 2:8 “Beware lest anyone cheat you through philosophy and empty deceit, according to the tradition of men, according to the basic principles of the world, and not according to Christ.” Do not fall victim to the bait because at the foot of the cross you shall be judged by your actions alone, and no argument will sway the judge of your innocence. No lie, no excuses will alter the course of your fate if you deny Jesus Christ as the true son of the Father, the lamb that bled for you so you may live. Denying Christ is sealing your own death certificate and given the choice now, will you choose to be a follower of the light, or a follower of the dark? There is no in between, there is only light and dark. If you are not of Christ you are of the world, and if you are of the world, you will parish and be dust once more. Men and women have died for the truth, and have given up everything for that truth. Don’t die tonight, instead choose to live, and light up the darkness that surrounds you. Stand firm if you are of Christ, and guide those who are lost. Ready yourselves for the next battle for it may come sooner then you think.

 

 

You Wanna Know How I Got These Scars?

You Wanna Know How I Got These Scars?

Have you ever looked in the mirror and noticed the scars you have? I have scars I see every day when I look in the mirror. My body is covered with scars from years of unfortunate accidents, injuries, and just a result of a rough life. I don’t just see the physical scars in the mirror but the emotional ones also. I was told recently that the traumas and trials I’ve faced are enough for maybe 3 peoples lifetimes. I had never really thought about it like that before. All I think about is how horrible it’s been sometimes, if I think about them at all. One of the things I was very good at was not dealing with my emotional pain. I tried to bury it and run away forgetting where I put it. Sadly, when it comes to grief and pain, you can’t outrun it. What you bury will come back to haunt you, and it’s usually pretty angry when it does. I recently wrote a blog post talking about running from grief. https://thearrowpreacher.wordpress.com/2018/05/29/man-on-the-run/ I won’t be rehashing an old topic. Instead in this post, I’ll be discussing how to use those scars to your advantage.

In 34 ish years I’ve seen a lot of things, and I’ve been to a lot of places. I’ve seen the world from the 3rdworldview, and I’ve seen the world from a luxury hotel downtown Chicago. No matter where I’ve gone one thing has been certain, the Holy Spirit has been right there with me the whole time. From the age of a little kid I have felt the Holy Spirit with me. I have moved through life feeling the Holy Spirit, yet running from an obvious calling within my life. Most of my life I have felt as if something were missing. I have felt a sense of lacking and never quite feeling useful. I have lacked purpose in my life. I thought my purpose was to be a good friend, a good husband, but although in my biased opinion, I am a good friend, and I am a good husband, or more accurately was a good husband, I now realize something new. For each scar I have a story. Each story is a chance to reach out to someone in need. Purpose will always be, where God is sending you. Today, I sit here thinking about each one of my scars mental and physical, and I have slowly started to realize what the purpose after all these years may have been.

When I think back to a man with scars I am reminded of the Apostle Paul. He suffered a great deal of physical torment throughout his ministry. Through the book of Acts you see Paul’s struggles. You see him get beaten, shipwrecked, stoned, hunted, imprisoned, and yet as he talks about how far he’s come. Galatians 6:17“17 From now on let no one cause me trouble, for I bear on my body the marks of Jesus.” I for one cannot imagine the pain he must have been in every day. In a time where most serious injuries would likely cripple or kill someone, he managed to keep going despite his injuries. It wasn’t as if they could go to the nearest CVS or Walmart and get Tylenol. Not being able to set broken bones, or take anti inflammatory, or even penicillin must have made healing very difficult. Here’s a man that literally took beatings and  torture for God, never once throwing up his hands and saying, ‘Nope, I made it all up, Jesus was a nobody.’ Even till Paul’s dying day, scars and all, he maintained his position that Jesus Christ was the Son of God, the truth the way the light. His scars were his testimony and what a testimony he had! I have spent a lifetime wondering why I’ve been through so much. I’ve often sat in the dark, yelling to God to answer my questions. After 34 years I may have finally gotten the answer I have been waiting for.

When you pick up your cross you will find persecution. In persecutions you will find both physical and emotional scars are part of the journey. Scars are sometimes badges of honor when we are a blessing to Jesus. Our scars are a reminder of where we’ve been, and a lesion learned no matter what caused the scar. Sometimes a scar is gained by playing with friends. Sometimes a scar is from someone doing unspeakable things to you. No matter where your scars are from, either good or bad, we can always take away some kind of lesson. I’ve seen many people after a trauma turn cold and bitter towards the people around them. I can’t say I’m innocent either. I have become angry when I’ve been hurt. I’ve seen people destroy lives, destroy families after suffering from loss. We will always have scars, but as a sword in the fire, we will either become brittle and break, or become strong and sharp. True courage is to face the pain, and face the troubled waters with honor and dignity and above all else, faith that God will use that pain for good, not for more suffering.

I have scars from surgeries, everything from knee, to hernia, to tonsillectomy, to cervical spine fusion, and more. I have emotional scars from death, from relationships, from war, and much more. When I look in the mirror I see a man who’s endured much, and yet I still stand. I face the world with hope, and with agape (love) in my heart for those around me. Even as I was going through a horrible divorce with my ex wife, and while there were things said and done that were beyond awful, I stood by her side and endured the pain and hardships. Now after all that time, we are talking, we spend time together, and we have a pretty amazing friendship. All the pain that was endured has allowed me to be there for her, now when she needs it. Living with Christ in your heart, loving deeply and not just what this world considers love anymore, is not an easy venture but God is watching and he will bless you for it. Pain is a hard thing to be stuck with, especially if you don’t know why, and you don’t know what to do with it. But I say to you, there is hope, and there is purpose. You will have to turn to God with love and prayer, and surrender in your heart. You will have to allow God to hold you up, and you will have to surrender over a piece of your self. Jesus Christ can heal your heart if you let Him. Jesus is always with you, and you just need to ask, and accept that without Christ we are nothing, but with Christ we are royalty to paradise. We are all soldiers, and with our scars of battle, we choose to surrender to the Devil, or fight for the throne in Heaven.

I was thinking back to an old post I wrote, and an old Sermon by Dr. David Chambers of my church. Why was our savior brought into this world as a baby? It was so that he would grow, and live among us, so we could relate to Him on a deep intimate level. His life had pain, and losses, and poverty, just like many of us. He survived the baby massacre, and then lost his Dad Joseph early in his life. He would grow to preach and teach God’s word, and when the time came he was tortured horribly, to just an inch of his life, and then he carried a heavy tree for a few miles, just to be placed on that tree and hung for all the world to see. Christ suffered horribly for each and every one of us, so we may one day live to live in eternal salvation. “Living is not for the weak.” (Arrow)It takes great courage to live with pain. It takes courage to find a path where you can use your pain for good rather then evil. How many stories have you seen or heard that started off with the villain saying ‘I was done wrong, so I’m going to make them pay.’ Or something along those lines anyway. Emotional pain is a strong motivator and it can cause good people to do awful things. Every one of us is capable of great things, or completely evil things. When we use our pain to heal from the truth written on those pages in scripture, then we are on the path to enlightenment.

Under the right situations your pain and suffering may be used to inspire and help others. I for one am starting to realize that all my life has been training. All the hardships I’ve faced and it being mostly traumatic incidences has given me the unique perspective to understand the nature of that kind of pain. I understand the pain of loosing a loved one to divorce. I’ve lost people in my life before, but my marriage this time was one of the hardest. The unfortunate event that occurred the day I found out my wife was leaving would forever be a day of great tragedy for me. That fateful day I succumbed to the pain and suffering that I spent so much effort running from. I’m ashamed of myself, and I still have a hard time believing it was me that day, but I have the scar to show for it. Today when I think back at my scars, I think now, how can I help others? How can I help prevent what happened to me, happen to anyone else? As I have been looking into my future since my security job imploded I have been led to believe ministry is my true calling. For years I looked at the ministry to be for someone much smarter, much braver, and much more people friendly. God uses the most unlikely of people sometimes to do His work. I have heard from many in ministry about running from their calling and how miserable their life was the whole time. Ministry is perhaps one of the hardest things to do, with some of the most stress in any job. Ministry comes with some of the most emotional drain out there, but people are genuinely happier, despite the level of stress that comes with.

I realized my traumas have been preparing me to help others get through theirs. Through most of my incidences I didn’t have a therapist, or a chaplain there to help me through. I was left to navigate the minefield, and as it became more and more dense with each passing trauma, I was bound to step on a landmine. When I finally stepped on one, and I ended up in the hospital, I was faced with a fundamental change in my life. It was the beginning of the end of a path I had been on for 7 years of a career, and 32 years of my life. Through it wasn’t easy for me to face facts, eventually, that closure would come from God as my job in security would end abruptly and with finality. I know many of you have endured great pain and suffering, and you can’t see any reason why you were made to suffer. First off let me say that there are a lot of reasons we are hurt. Sin is the most likely for most. Health is next in line. Then lastly personal choice to make bad decisions causes many of our struggles. No matter what flavor of pain you have, know that it is up to you to find a scriptural purpose for it. I have decided that my vast knowledge of all kinds of different pain and trauma makes Christian Crisis Counseling a perfect job for me. I can use my pain and suffering to inspire and guide others through their crucibles. I have chosen to embrace my pain instead of running from it. I have chosen to use my pain instead of burying it. If I can use my experience to help God’s people, it would be a sin not to.

I have run from God’s calling into ministry my whole life, and there’s always been something missing. I’ve always struggled with depression, and even though I’m not perfect and sometimes I still have my bad days, I am driven to continue my growth in the Lord. I pray to God to continue to show me my path, and to give me grace and mercy along the way. I fully expect the Devil to try and break me down during my journey, and any journey towards chaplaincy or pastoral ministry is going to fall under attack by the Devil. If we are going to follow in Christ we must live differently, so we can show others a different way to live. We must be productive in our faith, and not squander our experiences. I think of the things a father teaches a son. A father teaches their child how to treat others, how to be a responsible person, and how to love. They teach them how to do things around the house, how to hunt, and fish, and throw a baseball. But more importantly a Christian father will teach their kids, rather train their kids to be in Christ. I didn’t have a father growing up and I missed out on a lot of important lesions and experiences, but now I look to my Heavenly father for guidance and love, and approval. I have hidden behind my scars for so long, now I have to learn to embrace them and use them to help others. It won’t be an easy road, and I suspect there will be days when I will feel the weight of my decisions, but as Paul said to Timothy, I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. I too shall join that fight in ministry as I start my path to chaplaincy, and God willing maybe more.

There are days when my scars hurt, but I know God won’t ever leave me, He won’t ever forsake me, and I know now, my scars were not in vein. We must learn to see beyond our own pain, and trust that in all things we go through God is working it out so we may find peace, not sorrow. We live in a fallen world so pain and trials will come, but we don’t have to let it destroy us. I challenge each and every one of you to go out there and find your purpose in Gods plan. It’s likely your scars are for a purpose and that you can use them for good. Your scars can give you strength and understanding in areas perhaps others cannot. I challenge you to stop running from God and embrace your gifts and your life experiences. Pass on what you have learned, and remember failure is the greatest teacher you will ever have. Use your failures to help others see. Never give up on yourself because Christ wont’ ever give up on you.

 

 

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Got the Blues

Got the Blues

Psalm 42:9-11“I say to God, my rock: “Why have you forgotten me? Why do I go mourningbecause of the oppression of the enemy?” 10 As with a deadly wound in my bones, my adversaries taunt me, while they say to me all the day long, “Where is your God?” 11 Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.”

 Have you ever been stuck and you don’t know where to go? Have no fear for God has a plan. Even David a man after Gods own heart felt deep depression and he was King of a nation. He had wealth, power, women, friends, and yet depression still taunted him like a splinter. We will have feelings come and go. Depression is often from a chemical imbalance, not a lack of faith. There are ways to combat depression and it starts in the word. We must study the word but we must practice what we hear and learn. If we hear but not do, it’s meaningless. James 1:22-24 “But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. 23 For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. 24 For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like.” We must always pray but do. We cannot sit and just expect something to change. This isn’t to be confused with having patience. Patience is a state of mind, moving carefully, strategically. Isaiah 26:3-4You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. 4 Trust in the Lord forever, or the Lord God is an everlasting rock.” We must have peace in our minds, and put our faith and trust in all things in the Lord. If we start saying things like, “this problems to small for God to worry about.” Or “This problems to big, God can’t help me with this.” We don’t understand God.

Depression can come for anyone of us. It’s a silent assassin that attacks from the darkness in our minds. It’s destroyed homes, families, friendships, and is completely indiscriminant. Attacking your mood, your body, your joy, it leaves destruction in its wake. The devastation of depression is very real and very tangible. When bad things happen because of your depression, it can pile more negativity and often makes matters worse. Let me tell you though, there is hope and it’s your for the taking.

The first thing to do is seek medical attention. The mind is as fragile as any bone and when a trauma happens it’s important to do the same triage as any other injury. We all suffer from pain and doubts. We all have insecurities, but where there is pain, there is also hope. Never forget the saving power of Christ. Never forget where true peace comes from. Jesus Christ is the rock in which we build our foundation.

Remember the Lord is with you, in that foxhole. When the war comes to your front door the Lord forever stand by your side. Deuteronomy 31:8“8 It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” When your heart cries to the Lord, do not feel abandoned if your prayers aren’t answered as fast as you’d like. In God’s time and in God’s way He will give you what you need. Not necessarily what you want. Psalm 34:17“When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles.”

 I think one big thing we do when we’ve got the blues is push everyone away. We say no one knows us, or understands our pain. We push away and we stay in the anguish. We must learn to use every resource God gives us because it’s a gift from God. God created people to understand the mind, who understands how to fix cars, who understands the human heart, and thus gives us people we need to get better. At the top of all things we need is Jesus Christ. We are nothing without Christ, and we cannot truly find what we seek without Him. We can try, but we will always fail. We will find temporary fixes, solutions, but they are worldly and thus will eventually fail us. Find peace in the Lord and watch as He gives us exactly what we need. Just because it seems like all the odds are against you, and just because it doesn’t seem like there’s anyway to win the battle, never stop fighting. With God on our side even when it’s 1000 to 1, we have the sovereign of the universe on our side, so never give up.

Freedom Hymm, By: Austin French

I push, I pull

Go back and forth finding myself pounding on a locked door

I try to make it out alone without your help

But I know I’ll never win this war

I can never be, never be, free without you

I can never be, never be, me without you

This is the sound of chains breaking

This is the beat of a heart changing

This is a song of a soul forgiven

This is my freedom hymn

This is my freedom hymn, my freedom hymn

This is my freedom hymn, my freedom hymn

I breathe the air of freedom in knowing my life

Is better off in Your hands

The past is gone, what’s done is done

Now I’m alive

And I’m never gonna look back

I can never be, never be, free without you

I can never be, never be, me without you

 

 

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My God

My God

I just wanted to take a moment to tell people about me. As many of you may or may not know, I have experienced a great many tragedies in my life. I’m not a perfect man, and I’ve struggled sometimes. I have watched as those I loved the most betrayed me, turned on me, and followed the ways of lust, anger, and hate. No matter the pain I’ve experienced being in the military, or in my childhood, and now into my adulthood, the thing I’ve tried to do is not let anger and hate flood into my heart. I’ve been seen through the storm time and time again. I’m alive, and I continue to breathe even though I should have died from a gun shot wound a year and a half ago. I have suffered a great many times, but in all of that suffering I have found peace in knowing God is still with me, still in control, and knowing that Jesus friend of man, savior and the defeater over death, is holding my hand walking with me.

Many people have scoffed at my belief, but I have felt the presence, heard the voice, and lived when I should have died. My God is faithful and has never abandoned me. Who am I to deserve this kind of grace and mercy? I am no one, my works are trash, my mistakes are many, my sins run deep, and yet through it all, God’s grace and love have never stopped flowing towards me. Every day I walk in the Lord I hope to be better then I was the day before. Every day I walk in the Lord I need to ask for guidance, and forgiveness. Every day I struggle with sin, and I struggle with my own wants in life. Every day for a while now I struggle with loneliness, and I wish for companionship. My God tells me to be patient and trust in his plan for me. Some day I don’t know which way to go, and some days I don’t think I can make it through, but when I feel lost, I close my eyes, and I focus on getting back to God. The path to darkness is slow and can go unnoticed, but those who give themselves to the evil ways of sin, make choices and the price to be paid is high. Because I’m not willing to pay that price, I’m not willing to wait around for that bill to be due, I turn back to Christ everyday, who waits for me, who accepts me with open arms, and I know that my sins are washed away.

Jesus changes my life every day. Even when I feel lost and saddened by my day, I know that Jesus is there with me. Even when I feel low and depressed, knowing that Jesus is with me helps. I may never know or understand why I have been forced to go through some of my struggles, or endured some of my heartbreak, but I trust my God. Everything I go through I learn from. Every struggle I’ve faced has prepared me for the battles I will face tomorrow. Every lesson we experience is an opportunity to take something positive away from it. We must go into each challenge with an open mind and an expectation that life won’t always be what we want. Life won’t always be easy, but my God promises me that my struggles won’t be in vein. My God promises me this suffering is only but a fleeting moment in the path towards eternity. I shall live my life and then as dust to dust my body shall parish, but my soul will ascend into heaven and I will sit with Jesus. My suffering today is nothing compared to what will happen if I don’t trust in the Lord. Jesus said I am the way the truth and the light, no one gets to the father except through me. Where is your heart, as for me, I trust in the Lord.

A YEAR OF BATTLE AND IM STILL HERE

A YEAR OF BATTLE AND IM STILL HERE

 1 Thessalonians 4:11 “and to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you,” When I read this verse it makes me think of my own life and my own longing for a life of parenthood. I dream of a life with a loving wife, in a nice house, quiet and away from the affairs of the world. I dream of my future, and I look to leave my past in the past. The thing about the past though it’s never truly gone. It stays with us, and it lives inside us. As I have been looking back at my life I have been forced to realize I’m still here. This battle I’ve been facing hasn’t been easy, and there have been times when I’ve just wanted to quit, but the sun rose, and the sun fell, and I’m still drawing breath. Psalm 18:39 “For you equipped me with strength for the battle; you made those who rise against me sink under me.” No matter the wars I’ve faced, I know the Lord has given me the tools I’ve needed to face them. We are told that for everything we endure, we are being trained up for future trials. Psalm 144:1 “Of David. Blessed be the Lord, my rock, who trains my hands for war, and my fingers for battle;” For the Devil has attacked and waged war with my heart and mind, yet I still stand. While I have struggled and I have stumbled, I have always found a way to pick myself back up.

No matter where we are in our travels of this sometimes cruel world, we must keep the eye on the prize. The battles will be waged throughout your entire life. We will win some, and we will loose some. In my year long battle of the war, I’ve lost a fair amount and just stating the facts, I’ve lost more then I’ve gained. I have struggled through the loss of deep, long running friendships. I have lost positions at work, posts that I worked very hard to achieve. I have lost my way a time or two within my own personal feelings, and I have sometimes struggled to find my way back. Our travels may be smooth sailing, or rough seas but no matter the weather, we must learn to keep moving forward. Deuteronomy 31:6 6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” In the strongest storms, have faith in the Lord. Find your strength in God and fear not.

Psalm 34:17-18 “The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” While the delivery of our troubles might not be that very same moment, or even days or years down the road, salvation is the end game, and the fluff in the middle doesn’t really matter. What matters is the path to Salvation. Through the battle and the blood, the sweat, the tears, the end result is what’s the most important. For us as Christians, our goal is salvation, eternal, in the gates of Heaven. Our path to Heaven is important, how we handle each and every one of our situations. We must remain vigilant to our own emotions and how we let them dictate our path. In the world we live in the battles we will face in this great big war of ours will either be considered as a success or failure, but it’s in those things we must use a clear head, and a clear heart to be the man or woman that would best be pleasing to God.

No matter the difficulties I have been faced with, I still feel as if I am a positive light for others. We all have our scrapes and cuts from the walk we’re on, but those wounds should make us tougher, smarter, more seasoned. One can hope that as we grow, we are also growing closer to God. Always grow in your path, and one day, that path will lead you home.

 

Time for war

Time for war

A time for everything and when the season comes be ready because God needs us to be a lover and a fighter and when or if the time comes, you need to stand up for the weak and if you need to come together on the battlefield, then cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war!

In my life, especially my early life, the middle school years were torturous. As I was not only emotionally tormented but physically as well, I often prayed for death. As death never came I kept pushing forward dreaming of far away world, lands where people were created equal, where dreams could come true. A life where love was true and didn’t die at the drop of a hat. I dreamt of a life where happiness and success were mine to have, and yet life it seems would not turn out as the dream once had. As a child I would gaze to the stars and wonder if there were other planets with life similar to our own. I wondered and wished I could get on a ship and travel to far away lands and find a place where I belonged. 13 years later I’m still looking to far away lands and I have yet to find my place in this world.

Through all that pain and agony I experienced as a child it would still not prepare me for the trials I would face as an adult. Many have asked me my thoughts on the Iraq war. While I do believe completely it is likely Sadam had the potential to WMD’s, given the time indicated prior to the initial invasion he would have had the ability to move them away. Regardless of the governments information and it’s meaning for the start of the war, once I arrived in Iraq I found that I wanted to do my part to help the people hurt from Sadam’s regime. He was a bully, and he ruled by fear and intimidation. I don’t like bullies and I have found the desire to help people anyway I can when I know they are in need. I spend a great deal of time and energy checking on my friends that I know struggle, and those I know are in financial hardship I attempt to find ways to help them as well.

Recently I discovered a friend of mine was having issues with her ex husband. Sometimes people are cruel and just want to watch the world burn. Some people pray upon the weak and by physical or emotional means attack them any chance they get. I’ve known a few people who’ve been in abusive relationship. Recently I had the privilege to interview a survivor of both emotional and physical abuse.

Interview with an Abuse Victim

Earlier this year the woman I interviewed was attacked by her boyfriend when he got upset. It turned into a whole ordeal and she was hurt in the attack. After the second time I actually went to rescue her from the situation she found herself in. Now several months behind her I interviewed her to see her thoughts now.

 

  • When did you know about Will’s abuse of other women if you knew at all in regards to the start of your relationship?
    • Knew from before the start of the relationship. He told his side of the story. He was blatantly lying about all of it.

 

  • When did you become suspicious of his abusive behavior?
    • Never physical until the end. Approximately 5-6 months into the relationships.

 

  • How did his behavior change over time towards you?
    • Drinking more as time went on, sweet while drunk but the paranoia picked up as time went on.
  • Did he start to become more possessive
    • Yes he did
    • Drunk when a text came in, he blew up causing the physical altercation. The police were called and things got bad.
    • Physical started lightly.

 

  • Was there anything you did that would set him off more frequently?
    • No telling what would set him off.

 

  • What kinds of things in particular would he do that would be considered abusive in hindsight?
    • Physical
    • Not much in the way of emotional abuse
    • Pit parents against daughter

 

  • What was the mindset after an incident?
    • Shame
    • Anger
    • Panic
    • Realized everything everyone said was actually true.
    • Afraid of the future
    • Tried to shoot him,

 

  • Is there any particular reason you would return or stay with him later in the relationship?
    • He apologized and I let my loneliness get the best of me.
    • Caught at a vulnerable time.
      • Lonely, scared, wanted to work through it.

 

  • In the months following the end how do you feel looking back at the relationship
    • Dumb
    • Knew it was a bad idea the whole time
    • Exhilarating and fun when it started.
  • Advice to others
    • Get out, stop being stupid, don’t give the time of day, you’ve given plenty of reasons to change, and they aren’t going to change. Potential pitfalls of future relations and further abuse.

 

While it’s not always easy for her, her experience changed her life. Once you are in that kind of situation it’s hard to be the same after. God’s blessings are always there even when it doesn’t seem like it. She’s a strong lady and she’s doing better now. She’s one of the strongest ladies I’ve ever known. Her ability to survive and push through is impressive. She truly is a remarkable lady with the strength to survive so much. Just like anyone else we don’t always handle every situation with the grace of a gazelle, but to survive and still stand, still go to work everyday, and remain in this world and not a recluse is truly remarkable. Life hasn’t been easy for her the last 10 years, but she’s making progress and no matter how slow, or fast, forward always.

There are bullies everywhere and if you open your eyes it’s not hard to see. I don’t like bullies and when possible I try to stand toe to toe to them and make sure the people I care for aren’t being hurt. Now I’m not talking about violence, there’s usually a diplomatic way out, but sometimes, the war is brought to us, and we should always be prepared for. The Devil plans and plans and when he’s done planning he executes and when he does, it can be like finding yourself in the middle of a war, everything blowing up and falling apart.

Fortune Favors the Bold

Fortune Favors the Bold

We stand before giants and we prepare for battle. We are toe to toe every day with the Devil and we stair down the taunting nature, the temptations, and the blatant attacks from the devil. On the path following Christ there are some distinct signs you’re doing it right. If you don’t have the Devil nipping at your heals, that means you’re not a threat, and he doesn’t need to knock you off your kilter. But for those who are under constant attack you must learn to be bold. Proverbs 28:1 “The wicked flee when no one is pursuing them, but the righteous are as bold as a lion.” When you look in the bible there are several names that stood tall in favor of being bold, and that boldness paid off. Philemon 1:8 “For this reason, although I have great boldness in Christ to command you to do what is right.” Ruth from the book of Ruth stood up to the enemies of her people, fought the fight, and saved thousands from being slaughtered. King David before he was king, stood toe to toe with Goliath and because he was bold and he had God on his side history favored him.

2 Corinthians 3:11-12 “So if the old way, which has been replaced, was glorious, how much more glorious is the new, which remains forever! Since this new way gives us such confidence, we can be very bold. Because of Christ and our faith in him, we can now come boldly and confidently into God’s presence.” No matter what situation we find ourselves we know we can be confident and rest assured that no matter where we may find ourselves, when we follow Christ no matter what we have God on our side. Romans 8:31 “What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” While this won’t always fix everything, and it might not always make us feel better, we can always find at least some peace knowing we are Gods children.

Hebrews 13:6 “So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.” Following Christ means we can be persecuted for our beliefs. The day may come when to follow Christ means to die for that belief. No matter what man may do to us, we know that we still have Heaven. We still have paradise, and when this world passes away, a new life is waiting for us. A life with no more tears, no more sorrow, no sadness, only joy, and perfection, and that has to give at least some comfort during the storm. So when the devil knocks at your door, when the wolf howls and tries to huff and puff and blow the house down, follow 1 Corinthians 16:13 Remain alert. Keep standing firm in your faith. Keep on being courageous and strong.” Don’t back down when the Devil attacks, stand your ground. Fortune favors the bold, and it takes a bold stance to stand up to Satan and endure the attacks that come when you are steadfast in your faith.

 

The Armor

The Armor

Ephesians 6:10-18 The Whole Armor of God 10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. 11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil.12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. 14 Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. 16 In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one;17 and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, 18 praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints,”

 As I have considered all things in my life as of late, I find myself struggling to find inspiration. Not surprising since my day revolves around my favorite show (Arrow), my only Xbox one game (Destiny) and loving on my puppies. With very little worldly influence I’ve struggled to maintain my daily post. The only days I have not been able to post are a few in which I was nowhere near Internet service for reasons far beyond my control. Today I received a trinket I got in the mail, something I have chosen to add to my collection of things to keep with me to remind me of what I need in my life on a daily basis. Most devout Christians can give you their favorite verse if not by heart, then by verse number. With everything I’ve gone through in my life there’s not doubt or question why The Armor is by far my verse of choice. The soldier in me, the warrior heart, the battles I’ve had to fight and endure, the Armor reminds me every day that life is a cold and often an unforgiving, dark and desolate place. Not saying there’s isn’t hope and love within the fallen world, but this message is about that war, the war that wages on every single day, and the one single piece of hope we have, Jesus Christ. “Living is not for the weak.” (Arrow) The Armor 1

Although it may sound on the surface my position is one of pessimism, and it may sound like I don’t have faith, believe me, the truth is it’s because of my faith, it’s because of my worldly experiences I know this isn’t anything but the absolute truth. When you look around, when you watch the news, listen to how people talk to one another in the grocery store, the proof is abundant and incontrovertible. The Devil has woven his lies in nearly every aspect of our lives. What we watch on TV, the music we listen to, the teaching in school, the laws we pass, every bit of our life now has influence of Lucifer himself. We are told by Jesus himself that John 16:33 “These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” With that promise we are also promised eternal salvation. Psalm 23:1-4 “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. 3 He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. 4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” How do we make it to the Kingdom? How do we manage through our daily lives? The answer is both simple, yet some days the hardest thing you’ll have to endure. The Armor.

The Helmet of Salvation: This Roman piece that Paul writes about is the protection of our mind. The Devil whispers in our ears and tries to get us to actively sin. The Devil tries to get us to question God, to make decisions that make us feel good, but like many drugs that sensation of feel good is only an illusion. It’s important to remember the thoughts we have, the decisions we make must be driven and guided by God. We must not conform to the standards of the world, because the world is a fallen place filled with hate, anger, lust, and is all about self. Resist by keeping your mind on the Lord, take the Helmet and keep it strapped on tight to resist the temptations put in front of you every day.

Belt Of Truth: This is the first piece mentioned in the Gospel of Paul. This is because of what truth he’s referring too. The Truth of God, the truth of Jesus Christ is above all the most important. If Christ weren’t the truth, the way, the path to Heaven, nothing else would matter. The Belt holds the sword but also holds back the cloak in preparation for battle.

The Breastplate of Righteousness: This item protects the trunk of a soldier. This protects all the vital organs and more importantly the heart. The Armor is a thick piece of leather given to every follower of Christ. This protects the Christian from the lies and deceits aimed at the heart and soul of the Christian. The breastplate protects the heart, which is the center of the emotions. Love, and hate, empathy verses revenge, these are the feelings targeted by the Devil. Satan wants to harden our hearts; He wants us to have a stance of hatred and anger, a bitterness that if we aren’t careful can spread like a cancer once it takes root in our hearts. If our heart is infected we could in fact loose a great deal of ourselves.

Shoes of the Gospel of Peace: In the day’s Paul wrote the letter to Ephesus, the Roman soldiers wore spiked sandals. These sandals where designed to dig in when the enemy tried to force them back. When the winds of the storm are strong and when they would blow down almost any man, digging in and holding your ground makes you a Soldier for Christ.

Shield of Faith: In the days of the Roman Empire this soldier would often carry a shield, and this shield was large enough to completely hide behind. This shield would protect one soldier from incoming arrows, and attacks by swords and other weapons. When wet these shields would extinguish flaming arrows. Together a group of warriors with these shields could come together and be completely enclosed in a barrier. Our shield is strong when our faith is strong, but that faith is stronger when other warriors for Christ join us. Hold onto that shield and use it to withstand all the attacks and flaming arrows from the Devil.

Sword of the Spirit: The sword is the word of God. A sword is both a weapon for attack and defense. In all times of attack offensively, or the defensive, we must train with our weapon. Training with a sword takes time, dedication, and patience. We must learn the word and use it effectively to battle the satanic attacks Christians are under daily.

2 Corinthians 10:4-5 For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,” We obviously don’t wear armor every day, but what we do have is a spiritual armor, a spiritual war that’s being fought every day and every day we must remain on the alert to the spiritual attacks.

In all things we do in this world we are faced with choices, some days we are left with impossible decisions to make. We are always going to face battles; we are always going to be warriors as long as we follow Christ. We know that most of our struggles will be of a spiritual nature. We know that what’s in peoples hearts and minds is either a force for good or evil, and we know the source of that good and evil is God or Satan. Knowing the armor and how to wear it, training by being in the word day in and day out is the only effective way to be a good soldier. Every good soldier knows to do PMCS Preventative, Maintenance, Checks and Services. Soldiers will check their equipment, clean their weapons, sharpen their knives, and be ready for combat at a moments notice. We must read, and understand scripture, know the enemy and how He works. We must know how to defend and fight back against the evil schemes that will come our way.

As I have posted in the past, I find it just as relevant today as it was then, a saying that’s on a shirt I recently got. “The Devil whispered in my ear you’re not strong enough to withstand the storm.” Today I whispered in the Devil’s ear “I AM THE STORM.” Are you strong enough in faith to withstand the storm that will, not might come your way? Be ready because as this world continues to fall, you don’t want to be caught unawares. As the military slogan goes, ‘Fit to fight’.

 

Mercy in Time of War

Mercy in time of War

“ It was pity that stayed Bilbo’s hand. Many that live deserve death. Some that die deserve life.” (Gandolf LOTR)

Something’s been on my mind lately. As the last 11 months has taught me anything it’s life is made up of good and bad situations, and some of the worst of situations may seem like a battlefield. It’s in our deepest darkest moments a choice must be made. How do we react to the enemy firing warning shots across our bow, or doing strafing runs to get us rowdy? The enemy wants us to get angry, the enemy wants us to retaliate with force. The enemy wants for us to yell, and scream, and we are expected to be fowl, and angry, allow our hate to flow through us and let that hate consume us. In the Hobbit Bilbo Baggins had a choice when he had Gollum within striking distance while cloaked. Gollum would end up playing a major role years later that allowed Frodo to get the One Ring to Mordor. As Christians we are told not to be the judge, to leave that for God, but as man we aren’t perfect and sometimes we struggle with this.

The hardest thing we may ever do is to provide kindness, to be merciful to our enemies and show love and compassion even when we are being treated horribly by someone or someone’s. How we respond when we are attacked verbally, or physically will show a lot about who we are, our maturity, and our walk with God.

Matthew 5:38-44 38 Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth: 39 But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. 40 And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloak also. 41 And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain. 42 Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away. 43 Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. 44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.”

So much is said in this verse. When struck by your enemy, instead of returning fire, instead offer the other cheek, not to turn the other cheek but literally offer the next. When someone goes after you in a suit, to offer more then they are asking. It’s so hard for us to understand the concept, but in every negative action towards us, we are to return in kind more to them in kindness then we have received in wickedness. No matter how hard we try we may never change the hearts and mind of another person. All we can do is pray for them, live by an example, show the world what it means to walk Christ like but making sure our testimony our witness is a strong solid foundation. Being human we are going to sin, we are going to fall, we are going to fail people, but being true stewards of God’s word we can hope and pray to live the best we can, to make the best choices possible in every situation as humanly possible for being a sin natured creature.

Sometimes someone can say something that just hurts. It’s often the people we care for the most that do the most damage. How much can we take? How deep can that knife go before we just can’t take the pain anymore? When those in our lives destroy everything we build, when the whole of the world around us topples around us, and the enemy is pounding down upon that gate, and all we want to do is throw up our hands and give up. The shadows that rise up against us and beat us down, the Devil that pounds us to the ground, and doesn’t want us to get back up.

When the Devil takes the hearts of those we care about and turns them against us, and the wolves try to run us down, all we can do is turn, and stand our ground. Get back up off that mat, fight back, and do it with Love, with Kindness, with Compassion. You can’t change the world but God can. You can’t change others, but your actions can show others how a Godly man or woman is. We never know the hurt going on below the surface or why someone does what they do.

I believe that we may never know or understand why some people go to great lengths to hurt you. But in our trying times, in the midst’s of the battles we fight, all we can do is believe. Believe in the Holy Spirit, believe in the God, and believe in the Mercy that God, that Jesus Christ has given to us, was also for us to share to the rest of the world. The Mercy we share upon others, the Mercy and love that was blessed to us we have a duty an obligation to share that with the world. The Gospel was given to us and in that new commandments would tell us to love on another, spread the gospel to those without. We have our commandments, and it’s up to us to follow them. It’s not always easy, but nothing worth having is.