Risen For You

Risen For You

Matthew 28:6 “He is not here, for he is risen.” Are you offended by the cross and the word faith? Are you afraid of your true place in this world? What have you been seeking all this time? Whether it be pain, suffering, or depression, hate and resentment slowly creep into our hearts. Could you imagine being whipped and beaten to an inch of your life? Flesh torn from your skin, whip after whip, and can you imagine being blinded in the red of blood spilt down your face from a crown of thorns? Can you imagine your arms being stretched out nearly pulled from the sockets, while your body weight pulls you down while your grasping for air as you suffocate slowly under your own weight? Our works here on earth are like filthy rags to God. We cannot earn our way in good works. All we can do is sacrifice our old self, let it die away and what’s left is the heart loving God. When we give all of ourselves to follow Christ we are forever changed. A sinless man died on the cross. Our salvation wasn’t free but our totality of sin was washed away. We watched over 2000 years ago as the blood stained the ground, stained the cross and the flowing of blood out of the righteous man who took the beating, he took the thorns, he took the nails, he took the hell we all deserve. We must repent, to change, to run from our sinful ways. As our savior is not a dead man, but risen through God. God so loved the world he gave his only begotten son.

We worship not a dead martyr but a risen savior in which even the grave, death could not hold him. The temple broken, the stone ropes cut, the seal broken and the resting place of Christ empty, lest the facial napkin folded as a symbol of a mortal life ending. Christ though would live on, showing his risen self to the masses. Even Thomas doubted till he could put his fingers into the wounds. Jesus said to him, ‘You doubt yet you see with your own eyes. Imagine those who will never see with their own eyes.’ Rome wanted to prove the conspiracy yet failed to do so. Rome would hunt and eventually kill nearly all the Apostils, but despite torture not one recanted their eye witness account of the risen Christ.

2000 years later the Holy Spirit moves our hearts and we still remember the sacrifice made on that day. Will we allow our saviors sacrifice to be in vein? How can we deny you my Lord? My God you gave up your own son for me, a willing sacrifice and yet we cannot let go of our own sins. We cannot, we will not soften our hearts to you. We are so lost, but the light shines brightly down on us. We are not saved on one day a year but in your holy decree we not live each and every day. Jesus Christ the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world. We have the cross, no longer a symbol of torture and punishment, but one of hope and eternal life. How then will we live? Will we remain hateful and bitter in our hearts, or will we learn to forgive and love? Will we hold onto the grudge of those who’ve trespassed against us? Our own grudges will seal our own fate. Scripture is clear, judge not yet you will be judged. Forgive not and you will not be forgiven. We must find the balance and the balance we seek is Jesus, the life, love and grace and mercy of God, God who washes away our transgressions when we accept and repent.

Jesus Christ is alive and will live forever and so can I. That cold dark grave could not hold the power of the Holy Spirit and that gift betwoed on you and me if you j ust believe. Let the Holy Spirit flow through you and death will one day come for you, but will not hold you. The empty tomb, cold, but the day Jesus would go to heaven the bright sun shown down. If you are to cry, cry only tears of joy. Do not be afraid for the King lives and so shall you. If you cannot feel Jesus with you, I dare say you don’t want to. I’ve heard the voice as I neared my own death, and the jolt of the Holy Spirit flowed over me restoring my soul, my life.

Where are you and are you grounded in your faith? My Lord is the truth, the life the way. I rise today comforted in the love of Christ. I proclaim I am a sinner, a man of many faults, of many mistakes, but for every sin I make I am forgiven in pure love. My faith is strong because I’ve seen with my own eyes, my own ears, the senses of my body tell me the truth. God so loves me that each and every day I wake with a new chance to live my life in Christ. I have the chance to do God’s work. As I stand as just a man, the words I speak aloud as I stand are truth. I will one day great death with open arms as my corporeal body will wither away, but my spirit will go on and I will see the King who loves me.

The Good Shepherd

The Good Sheperd

John 10:11 “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.”

As we move into this Easter morning, I wanted to spend a few minutes talking about how important this holiday truly is. We as a nation have walked away from the Cross and have forgotten the true meaning of sacrifice. The Easter Bunny and eggs, and baskets have become the focus and while that stuffs fun, this day is about so much more. Good Friday is a day of pain, of suffering, of death and sorrow. A debt we could never fulfill, but one could. A bill that would come due, and no matter how much good intentions we had, it wouldn’t satisfy the bill, but one man could. See, Easter is about hope, love, and self sacrifice.

Jesus would be the man born from woman fathered by the Spirit of God. He would be raised humbly, and when he was ready his journey to ministry began. He would face many hardships along the way, and as the Sanhedren became growingly anxious about his rise, they feared that Jesus would try to take his place as King, thus crumbling their seat of power. Jesus would be betrayed by a close friend Judas, and for 30 pieces of silver the price was paid for the man the people were calling the messiah. Judas escorted the Roman soldiers to the garden where Jesus was with the rest of the apostils. A kiss of betrayal, and foreseen by Christ, the beginning of the end.

Jesus would be tried and convicted for crimes he never committed. His fate would be put to the people in exchange for a known murderer, and yet the people decided to kill Jesus instead. Jesus would offer no defense and would take the beating, which left him bleeding out, and nearly unrecognizable. He would carry his own cross to the place he would be hung. Matthew 27:45-4645 From noon until three in the afternoon darkness came over all the land. 46 About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eli, Eli,[a] lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”).[b]” This fulfilled the messianic prophecy from ancient biblical times. This moment God had separated from the man, and the man took the full wrath of God for the payment of sins. In that moment Jesus cries out John 19:30 “When Jesus had received the sour wine, he said, “It is finished,” and he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.” Tetelestai which means it is finished, complete, and at that moment the Earth shook, the sun was covered, the temple crumbled and the tapestry was split from top to bottom symbolizing the end of the separation from God and man. The death of Christ was the pure sacrifice, the blood debt that was paid for the sins of man past present and future.

Jesus would rise again Easter morning. The cloth, which covered his face, would be folded and in that time symbolizing he was done, finished, and he would show himself to many as the risen Christ. The end of the man had come, but the beginning of the living risen king had just begun. We celebrate the defeat over death, and know that one day we too will rise and join the paradise of heaven. We too will be given the gift of eternal life and we will be blessed in the life beyond. The person who believes in Jesus Christ and who is reborn with the Holy Spirit in their hearts will be awarded the key to heaven. To love Christ with all your heart, to love your neighbors and to live as Christ would want. We are a people of sinful desires, of a wavering heart, but if we stay true to Christ, admit our sins, and love the father then we shall defeat death. The bill’s already be paid for us, all we have to do is love. We have to believe with the entirety of our hearts.

On this Easter Sunday, I ask are you saved? Do you know your savior? Do you know the blood spilt for you that would break your bonds of sin forever, and in a moment of pure love, Christ gave up his life for you and me. It’s because of Jesus Christ we no longer live in darkness. It’s because of Christ we can wake up in the morning full of hope, and share that hope with others. Today is a day for hope, for praise that the savior defeated death and we to are given that blessing. Without Easter we would have no hope, no purpose, but we are told to go forth and to make disciples, to spread the word of Jesus, and to baptize all in the Holy Spirit. We are never alone because the God over all is with us every day. Celebrate this glorious day, and remember with every tragedy is a chance to rise.

 

 

Chasing Waterfalls

Chasing Waterfalls

I have spent years looking for what was right in front of me, but sadly I couldn’t see the things I needed the most in my life. The first thing I needed to find was my own place in God’s love. The second was to realize how in a fleeting moment I would loose the women I had loved with my whole heart. Although I always felt like I gave her everything I possibly could, perhaps there was one more thing I could have given to her, my fear. I never once thought the day would come when she wouldn’t be standing by my side so I never felt the need to be jealous, or concerned with other guys. I consider now the two things in my life I needed the most and yet now after I lost so much, it feels like I may be too late. If I only had a chance to say my hearts desire and have them be heard could I change my fate? Tomorrow the sun will rise and I will have one of my failings be placed on the right path, but the other, I have a heavy heart. The women I loved is still gone because of my own inaction, my own failures as a leader of my household, and I must accept the responsibility of her leaving. While I have been told time and time again I am not at fault, she was happy, and then she wasn’t. I cannot stand idly by and think there was nothing I could have changed. Still, in the here and now, all I have is my hope for her, and wish her the very best on her own path. If I could tell her how much she means to me, and how much I love her, I would. I don’t know if those words would ever mean anything anymore, but perhaps one day they might. I have my path I must walk, and though it saddens me we won’t be walking this path together, I pray that maybe a miracle may happen and she finds her way back to me. Today I find myself thinking of the resurrection of Christ, which is coming. I think of the pain and suffering Christ endured for the sins of man, and yet he took the pain, took the punishment for all of us. He alone carried the burdens of Sin and freely gave his life to give everyone hope. We could only be so lucky to provide hope to someone else.

In the months after it happened, I found myself trying to move forward, trying to put my life back together but there was always something. I have wrestled with my place in this world and as I have found one of them, the other seems as elusive as a waterfall hidden in the deepest jungles. I have found peace with myself for the first time I can remember. I think it’s fitting that this weekend is about resurrection. I think it’s time for me to make some changes in my life. While I would like my life to go back to the way it was, I realize that can never happen. I’ve become a much better person now then I was back then. I have come to find my self worth and now find it’s a little easier managing being alone. I question what my future holds for me. I wonder if I’ll get my own home soon, find a new job, meet anyone special, and as I search for the answers to these questions, I remind myself to have faith, be patient, and above all, have faith in the plan that is beyond my understanding. Trusting in God isn’t always easy, but it’s something we all have to come to grips with at some point in our lives. Proverbs 3:5-6 “5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

I struggle with my own thorns, and in my struggle I lean upon the grace and mercy of the Lord. I cannot spend all my time chasing a waterfall I may never find. I must learn to let go of the things I cannot change and focus on the things I can. I cannot focus on the things I want and will never obtain. I find myself reciting the serenity prayer in my head often these days. I pray for my scenery to change and hope perhaps one day it shall. I cannot say what my future holds, but as for my past, maybe some things will never be as gone out of my life as they should be. Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” It’s time for me to stop chasing the waterfalls and to focus on what’s in front of me. It’s time I give myself the respect I deserve and stop allowing others to make me feel badly about myself. I have spent so long putting so much faith in people for my own personal validation of my own self worth that it’s no wonder I feel like garbage. If I spend my time with people who are selfish, leaches who are only in a friendship so long as they benefit, that’s on me to keep floating towards the edge of that waterfall. I have been washed down river more then once, swept over the cliff and yet I wonder why when it’s me all along. I cannot change others, but I can change my own part in it. I can stop playing so close to the edge. It’s up to me to stick closer to friendlier waters. No longer will I play in the waters edge. I cannot, I must not put myself through that any longer. God give me strength to walk away, strength to heal, to find peace.

Don’t Be a Coward

Don’t Be a Coward

It’s not easy following God’s plan, or the path in front of you. I have spent a long time trying to fit in with the crowd yet no matter how much I’ve tried I never quite did. Recently however, I found my place in a new crowd, and let go of some of my outer defenses. By the end of the week I was nicknamed preacher, and by the end of the weak I’d realized one thing, I became courageous. We are soldiers, every last one of us. We were made to be courageous, and we were made to fight a war. Every day the Devil wins a new soul, yet our fight doesn’t end with our own personal salvation. I would say the day we are saved is when the real fight begins. It’s time we stand up, and we get out of the shadows we’ve been hiding in for far too long. It’s time to realize who the true enemy is, and take the fight to him. Step out of your comfort zone and know that in all things God will make you strong, God will give you the courage, the strength to do whatever he, The Great I AM, wishes of you. I stayed in the shadows afraid to make my faith known for fear of being rebuked. I now realize that the thing that was missing in my life was the thing I had all along. Accepting my place in this world wasn’t being accepted by the people I was surrounded by, but accepting that I am not sheep, but a Shepard. God has called upon me to speak and preach his Holy Word. It’s me that he has called to stand tall, stand proud, and proclaim the word of God. I am humbled by the opportunities He has given to me to expand my voice as I proclaim the truth in ways others enjoy reading. When I finally accepted my roll, finally allowed myself to hear what God’s been saying all along, I had an overwhelming sense of peace. My own Odyssey wasn’t to find or make friends even though I did along the way, it was to find me, it was to find who I am meant to be. When I say I was transformed I cannot overstate the pure raw power I found within that single week.

Months ago I found a song that rang truth in my ears, and I sang it over and over again. I couldn’t hear the words I was singing. I couldn’t see the message that God had sent to me. I was blogging, and I was telling the word, and yet, I felt alone, lost and afraid. I couldn’t see that it wasn’t the world that was holding me back, it was me that couldn’t see how I fit into the world. I was holding back from God afraid to go into the deep end. I was afraid that if I let go of my fear and doubts, I would be mocked, ridiculed, and hated for my stance. In the years I’ve been a Christian I am finding now, it is I, myself that’s been my own worst enemy. The Devil’s lies would be strong, and I would be to weak to stand against them. I believed the lie and even more then believing the lie, I began years ago to live in that lie. I knew I didn’t fit it with my friends, my family, even the women I would love. I would know I was worthless, and a fraud, a poser, a coward. I believed the lies so much that in every aspect of my life I lived the lie. The old saying is true, that when you lie to yourself long enough you begin to believe it. It was no different with me, I believed I was a waist of flesh, and I didn’t deserve anything. I was a nobody lost in the waves, tossed around lost in my own pain. I wasn’t fit to wear the filthy rags of a beggar on the street. The truth was I am no one, without God we are nothing. The God who created the Heavens and the Earth says I am someone, I am his child. The King of all creation, and I was made for a purpose. I was created with love, and I live to serve, to not be a slave to this world, but the Shepard to leave the comforts of home to find lost sheep. I was not created to be a pastor, but I was created to spread and share the great news of Jesus Christ. I know where I belong and it’s to be in Heaven one day with the Father, but until that day comes, it’s my place to reach as many people as I can as often as possible.

The Devil wants me to fail; he wants me to loose hope, to distract me from the mission. For so long I was afraid to step out from that boat, and now when the Devil whispers in my ear I’m not strong enough to withstand the storm, I now whisper back ‘I am the storm.’ I challenge you all to find your courage to stand up and be loud and proud. We all have our gifts, and every last one of us can be a soldier for Christ. Do not be afraid of the Devil because he can’t do anything to remove your salvation. Do not be afraid of death for we all must meet our maker someday so even if the Devil puts me on the fast path to death, that just means I get to go home sooner. The voice of truth says do not be afraid, do not be dismayed for the Lord is with you. The voice of truth says the war is won, the Devil just doesn’t know it yet. Allow your pain and suffering to fuel your faith, to stand taller, to yell as loud as you can that the living waters of the Holy Spirit have washed you creating a new creation. Don’t just say what people want to hear, say what they need to hear. Don’t be a yes man, do what’s right. Sometimes doing what’s right is to say no. The Lord has seen fit to wash away the doubt I held in my heart, and the transformation within me has been nothing short of a miracle.

I’m not a perfect man, but I strive to have my Father be proud of me. I strive for God to be pleased in what I say and what I do. I’ve seen the way I was, and the way I am, and that feeling of not fitting in was washed away. I know I will fail, and I know I will fall, but I know God will forgive my shortcomings, and I know that God will love me enough to scold me when I’m wrong, reward me when I’m good, and will over a hand when I need it. God is always with me, and I know now that sometimes being a believer in Christ may make me an outsider with man, but I will fit right in when I go home. When I expire I will leave this world, and leave this broken body for a life of beauty and perfection. I will be given a new perfect body where I will be beautiful and accepted for me. My journey didn’t end at my Odyssey, no, it was just the beginning, it was my beginning. I hope to stand tall, and stand proud proclaiming the one truth anyone will ever need. I will be attacked in the coming days, weeks, and years, by the Devil who will try to break me. I know the battle was won, but the war for me is far from over. Like so many greats before me, I could only dream of standing as tall as them. David, Esther, Moses, Paul, any of them I would gladly set as my inspiration to become more like. Each struggled with their own failings, but God has made ordinary people into legends. While I have no belief I will be remembered as a legend, I know that I can at the very least offer to leave this world a better place then where I found it. With every breath I take I now know my true place in this world. Hallelujah to the one above who helped me cut the last tie to a scared boy.

Zephaniah 3:17 “17 The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.” The Lord created you, gave you life, and in that life inlaid gifts, talents, and a soul to love. God loved us so much that in an act of love sacrificed his only son, to spare us the pain of total separation from the Father. Romans 5:8God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” It’s this love we see the true sacrifice made. We are not saved by works, but through God alone. Matthew 19:26 “But Jesus looked at them and said to them, “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” We are to live like Christ, and in that we are told to share and preach the Gospel. To gather followers, and baptize the world in the Holy Spirit, so we must be willing to follow as Christ walked. John 10:11 “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.” Do not just stand by and watch, get out there and get ready for the long road. We cannot stay in the shallow ends if we are to be the Shepard in Christ. Ready yourselves with the armor of God Ephesians 6:10-18. Stand tall, and find your courage. The world may hate you, friends may turn their backs on you, but God, God will never forsake you. I want to be remembered when I die for being a Godly man, who fought the good fight. I want to leave behind a legacy of Godly children who follow in dad’s footsteps. But if I’m a coward and I run from danger, I run away with fear in my heart, I’ll never achieve greatness. If I am to achieve any real measure of success it must be before the Lord all mighty, not the standards of man. Stand tall, and be courageous in your walk with the Lord. Do not be afraid if you stray a little along the way, God will help you back on course. The promise made by God is a tab that’s already been paid. The Blood of Christ spilt so our sins may be forgiven and that relationship with God no longer divided. Believe in yourself because God believes in you.

 

 

Let Go of Dead Weight

Let Go of Dead Weight

One thing I’ve always struggled with is learning when it’s time to let someone, or something go from my, especially if it’s bad or toxic for me to be around. I have often allowed people to come and go into my life when it suits them, and putting my own hurt aside I welcome them back, and wait for them to leave again. I am the type of person that when someone’s important to me I will attempt to move heaven and earth to help them, be there for them, do anything I could to be the best friend I could be. I think much of my problem has been the efforts I’ve put into being a great friend, trying to constantly please others; I have lost how to please myself. The vast majority of people I’ve had in my life are fake, sycophant, users, and as I’ve noticed I’m here to help people feel good. Once they feel good again they move on, and come back when they need a feel good pick me up. Very few people actually stick around because they want to, because they like my company. I’ve watched the vast majority of my so-called friends leave and most have never come back. When I’ve needed someone to lean on, or be there for me, I’ve found the choices are few, and slim.

When we are weak and downtrodden, when we feel we have lost and forgotten, remember, people are people, and we should never put our hopes, or faith in people. Hebrews 12:1 “Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,” We must not hold onto the baggage of regret, of loss or even grief. We must not hold onto those who drag us down and never lift us up. People are fickle creatures, and in an instant, or on a whim people can change their path and we can see the wreckage for miles of what’s left behind. There is hope though when we remember that God our father is always with us. He is always watching and in all things, the good and the bad, even in the worst of situations God is working to make something good come from it. In the book of Esther a man named Haman wanted to destroy the Jews and specifically kill a man named Mordecai. The right person was in the right place at the perfect God appointed time, Esther. Esther was to be a Queen and using her influence as she rose from nothing to be queen she found the plot to kill her Uncle and informed the King of Persia. Instead of Satan killing Mordecai and the Jews, the attack never came and Haman was killed, Mordecai was appointed second in command. We see this again in the death of Jesus Christ. Satan wanted Jesus dead and the war to end, but instead God raised Jesus from the grave and defeated sin once and for all.

We will all face people in our life that try to use and abuse our kindness. We will all face people who want to come and go when it suits them and hurt on their way out. While I firmly believe we should put the needs of others first, I point to ourselves as ambassadors of Christ. We must be good stewards of Gods gifts and love. If we are to give our love and attention to people, give them to people who truly need it, not those who wish to do harm with it. Philippians 2:3-4 “Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” Give to others what you would want to receive, and when we give love to all, it matters not if that love is returned, because it’s returned from our Father in Heaven. Surround yourselves with believers, those who love and fear the Lord. 1 Corinthians 15:33“Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.” Walk away from those who intend to do harm. Walk away from those who are unequally yoked as you. Never stop loving, and praying, and never close the door to present the gospel to those you encounter. Sometimes people do change, and no matter how many times someone walks away show them love, show them compassion, and always show them forgiveness for their transgressions. People will sin, and will make bad decisions, but we are all sinners, we all make poor choices, and we all deserve a chance to prove we’ve changed. If we are washed in the blood of Christ no longer bound to sin, no longer doomed to suffer the consequences of our actions through our sorrow of sin and our desire to repent and make amends for our actions, so shall we accept apologies, and forgive freely. No one can earn forgiveness, it’s for us to give freely. Just because we forgive doesn’t mean we must carry that weight. Just because we walk away from bad relationships, doesn’t mean we are closing a door forever. Nothing in this world is certain except God’s love for us, and our sins that have been washed by the Lamb of God.

Proverbs 13:20 “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.” Walk with those who are wise in the Lord. Walk with those who love themselves and others. Follow the love for your fellow man by the words in, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” Love comes from within and goes to all whom we come into contact with. Respect one another, and respect our differences. Do not be cruel or hurtful. When we face the pain from others yes it will make you angry, yes it will hurt, but remember, hurting people hurt others. Do not put your pain upon others in the way of hate or anger. Love all, and pray for those in need of Jesus’s love and mercy. Don’t loose hope because where there is God there is always hope.

 

 

 

 

When Pride Kills

When Pride Kills

How do we treat those in our relationships? Do we take constructive criticism well? How about when we’ve actually done something wrong, do we attack those who are just trying to talk about a problem? When we are so prideful we are unable to hear or acknowledge that we might be doing something wrong or hurtful to someone we care about is not just a problem in relationships, but work, and other relationships we may encounter. Pride can be the downfall in many relationships, and effects virtually every aspect of our life. Pride can be a beautiful thing, and in the right amount it can give a sense of accomplishment when we achieve something wonderful. James 4:10 “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.” In everything we achieve it’s not us, but through and by the grace of God. We are nothing without the Lord. Nothing happens without the Lord allowing it to happen.

1 John 2:16 – For all that [is] in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. “The heart of pride is focused on “self.” Prideful people believe they deserve better than what life has brought them. They become sorrowful, resentful, and even jealous of other people and their successes. Pride breeds self pity, which is a major component in depression. Typically, people who struggle with pride will live life based on how they feel and expect everyone else to accommodate them and adapt to their moods.” The Bible is full of examples of how men have fallen to their own selfish pride. “But when [Nebuchadnezzar’s] heart became arrogant and hardened with pride, he was deposed from his royal throne and stripped of his glory. He was driven away from people and given the mind of an animal; he lived with the wild donkeys and ate grass like cattle; and his body was drenched with the dew of heaven, until he acknowledged that the Most High God is sovereign over the kingdoms of men and sets over them anyone he wishes.” Daniel 5:20-21 (NIV) Pride is at the heart, a heart problem. Something most likely happened to wound you early in life, and now you feel life owes you one. You’re over compensating for your feelings of inadequacy. You lash out at those around you who try to help you, if it doesn’t conform to what you want to hear. When people point out things you may have done to hurt them, with actual events, you will blame everything else instead of just owning up to it and trying to make it right. Pride’s very existence when being used to guard ones self is the shield to prevent helpful, and respectful conversation from happening in a relationship. Pride, vanity, selfishness, are all very real, and when looked at in depth, the result of something usually happening during the ages of 8-16 years old. While pride can destroy new relationships or old relationships, it can be combated.

The first step of releasing your pride is first realize that you are truly nothing without God. We must humble ourselves to the Lord. We must learn to be slow to speak and swift to listen. We must learn that love is about hearing the truth sometimes and accepting that it’s coming from a place in the heart, not to tear down, but to try and lift up. Truth, and I mean truth, not opinion, but the cold hard facts, are there and when they support a conclusion, should be considered with open ears, and a slow tongue. In our lives we can make or break relationships by one tiny little thing that can do so much damage in an instant, the human tongue. People say things in the heat of anger, in the moment of pride fullness, and it can do more harm then most can fathom. We all find ourselves on the defensive when a loved one says something about our personality. The truth is, we have become a very sensitive people. We no longer wish to better ourselves, we believe that we are perfect just the way we are. We don’t want to hear the truth anymore, and we’re willing to live in a world where it’s all about us, and we put little thought into how our actions affect others. We have lost the compassion in our hearts. People are living in a world where it’s better to walk away from a friendship then to admit you may have been wrong.

It truly is a sad time we live in when friendships mean so little that people are willing to walk away instead of having a conversation. People will walk away from friendships, relationships, and marriages, all because of pride. When we can’t admit we may be the problem, we can’t admit our faults, we can’t face our own mistakes, we tend to run away because it’s easier then having to deal with the wrongs, or even the pain we’ve caused. We need to let go of our self and find God in our hearts. God can heal the wounded, repair the damage done to the heart, and allow forgiveness, and joy to return. Don’t let pride destroy your home, or your friendships. Don’t let your own inability to admit your faults, your shortcomings, stop you from having heartfelt conversations meant to build, not to tear down. Grown in the military was to tear down to rebuild. You must allow your defenses to be lowered and then you can start working on facing the issues at hand. There’s nothing wrong with showing a little pride in moderation. There’s nothing wrong with a little competition and being proud of winning. There’s nothing wrong with showing pride in your kids, or spouse for something they accomplished. Don’t let your pride get to your head. Stay grounded and stay humble on God’s word. The Lord Giveth, and the Lord can Taketh away. Remember people are not usually out to get you. Just because they make something you’ve done a point of conversation doesn’t mean they hate you and doesn’t mean they are attacking you. I generally want to believe the best in people, and when they care about you, they are just trying to make a bad situation better. I don’t think people always intend to hurt others, and in a relationship communication must be free from worry and concern to be healthy. Don’t give up on each other, and don’t loose hope, the Holy Spirit is forever with you.

Pride can both be horrible and left to grow it can grow out of control. Pride can destroy relationships if one cannot move beyond their own ways. Pride can be a great strength and a great weakness. There is a healthy balance, and we must learn to find that balance. We do not want to allow pride to tear apart families, or damage work relationships, and most importantly we don’t want pride to damage our relationship with God. Let go of self, and look to what you say, and how you say it to the people in your life. Be humble and remember that God allows all things and is sovereign. It’s okay to feel pride, just make sure it stays in check. Pride of winning a game, or accomplishing something wonderful, either is okay, but keep it in check. Remember God gives, and takes away. Don’t let pride be what tears you down or stops you from reaching the top.

 

(n.d.). Retrieved March 27, 2018, from http://biblicalcounselingcoalition.org/2014/03/05/the-prideful-heart/

God, the Ultimate Dungeon Master

God, the Ultimate Dungeon Master

If any of you are like me then at some point in your life you sat around a room with a whole bunch of weird looking dice, a character sheet, some assorted books, and a ton of caffeine, enough to fuel an army for two days. I was a Dungeons & Dragons nerd growing up. Recently I was talking to a good friend of mine about the difference between Calvinism, and Arminianism. Without getting to much into the theological debate which I am just now starting to understand, it’s basically predestination, or free will. Where are we in our faith? While this point isn’t really important in the grand scheme of things, it’s trusting in God and knowing the path to salvation. While I do believe people have free will and we are not predestined in every aspect, I do believe some events are going to happen no matter what you do. As I stated in my recent conversation, “Kinda like an RPG. You’re gonna face the dragon, what you do is up to you.” (Arrow Preacher) Isn’t it an interesting thought that God is a master mathematician? In our life the vast majority of everything we see and touch can be found in math. If God were able to decide the percentages on every single decision you make by a percentage chance, and thus the future is slightly altered to suit God’s inevitable plan. But then my favorite theory, is actually the multi-verse theory. For every conceivable action we can make we do, and so on and so forth. A string followed by God who has the ability to pier through the looking glass past present and future. While all of this is purely personally theoretical, I will say for sure, God is the Alpha and the Omega. God see’s all and whether God is more of a hands off God, or God’s influence is in every single decision we make, it really makes no difference. God is God, Jesus Christ is our Savior, and in His blood we are washed of our sins.

Psalm 135:6 “Whatever the LORD pleases, He does, In heaven and in earth, in the seas and in all deeps.”

Psalm 115:3 “But our God is in the heavens; He does whatever He pleases.”

 Daniel 4:35 “All the inhabitants of the earth are accounted as nothing, But He does according to His will in the host of heaven And among the inhabitants of earth; And no one can ward off His hand Or say to Him, ‘What have You done?’

 Matthew 19:26 “And looking at them Jesus said to them, “With people this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

 We must learn to be steadfast in our life toward God. While each and every day we are faced with new challenges, new obstacles, we must always look to the Dungeon Master and when we are given the choice how we are going to behave, we need to remember the DM is always watching. If we are to live our lives on our path, we need to focus on what kind of character in God’s game we want to be. We have our option to how we behave. There are several alignments in the world of D&D, and when we look them over, what type of person are we? Personally I would fall in Neutral Good. I believe sometimes the law does not offer the need to do the right thing in every circumstance. I believe if a true vigilante or hero type person were to rise, I would support that. I think sometimes in the pursuit of justice a particular eye should be viewed. Man often makes laws that don’t follow God’s laws. Once upon a time worshiping Christ was against the law in some ancient countries, and believe it or not, there are still countries today where the church is still persecuted. Thus I hold fast to the need to be Neutral Good. If Christianity were to become illegal I would continue to sidestep the law in the pursuit to worship. I believe sometimes the law doesn’t hold what’s morally right based on scripture. When you follow the Lord and stay true to the Gospel you can’t go wrong.

Man is fallible but the word of God is enduring. While we are told to follow the law of the land I don’t believe this was a black and white standing. While early Christians were following the rule of Rome, they practiced their faith some in private so they weren’t hunted. This tells me that not all laws made are justified laws, and yet we must respect God’s decisions to allow the leaders to be leaders. That being said, as a Christian I believe we must always put the word of God before the laws and words of men, and thus, Neutral Good. Sometimes bending or breaking the laws of man for the good of God’s word is necessary. Have faith and follow God. Remember when you get to your dragon, you alone have the choice as to what you are going to do.

The Thorn

The Thorn

We all have something I hope that keeps us grounded to not boast of ourselves being conceited. I hope we all have something that keeps us in our place and reminds us that we are nothing without Christ. For me, I do not know what my thorn in, but I know what I loose, and every time I think I’ve begun to gain, I loose again, and again, and again, friendships. I have struggled with my loneliness, and my self worth that has been reliant on the approval and acceptance of others. The problem I had faced was not realizing when I had actually been accepted. I set my standards so high, even I’m not sure anyone was able to reach them. I think growing up I put so much weight on the friendships I saw on TV. I think back to the show ‘Boy Meets World’, where I put so much on the friendship between Cory and Shawn. Two peas in a pod, and yet I don’t know if I ever felt that kind of friendship with anyone. Now, looking back, I consider the relationship between Cory and Tapanga, and though I’ve been married twice, I don’t know if either wife has ever felt for me the same as I did them. I don’t believe, now I’m looking back, that anyone has felt for me the devotion perhaps they should have in order to get married. The thorn in my side is my faith in people and being let down over and over by the failures of those people in my life. It isn’t about the small mistakes people make, it’s how easily people walk away like the relationship, or me in particular didn’t mean anything to them. This of all things has been my biggest struggle, my biggest reminder of where I am. 2 Corinthians 12:7-9 So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations,[a] a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

 I’ve been held in the grasp of fear, and loss, and rejection for far too long. I have given time, effort, and energy on people who have shown little respect for me. I have considered my life and experience to teach me how important close bonds are. I have had so many near death experiences I have figured out I view life and friendships and even more important, relationships as being so important in our life. I have always viewed that first thing in your life is God, and then second is those around you. With good friends and a good significant other you can actually achieve almost anything. It’s not about the quantity but the quality of the people you keep in your circle. For me, I have spent a lifetime trying to feel like I belong someplace. I have spent a lifetime feeling like an outsider, like I never fit in. To be honest I felt like young Hercules in the Disney film. The song ‘Go The Distance’ has been my theme song for many, many years. It’s kept me grounded to this world, and has kept me in perpetual agony all these years. Why couldn’t I find my place in this world? Why would everyone up and abandon me when the road got a little bumpy? I found the silence in my life to be defining, loud in my ears. The silence allowed my thoughts to be heard at a mile a minute. I couldn’t find how to silence them. The quiet turned my thoughts into a barrage of noise I couldn’t block out. The silence was a constant attack that would force me to listen to something, anything, just to drown out my own thoughts. The truth is though, it’s up for me to slow down, to focus, and pick and choose what I allow in. While I can’t say for sure if we can control our thoughts, we can control how we let them affect us.

Romans 12:2 “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” The whispers in our ear might be one of two things, the Devil’s lies and temptations, or the Holy Spirit guiding you. We often let our imagination run wild, and allow the worst thoughts to flood our minds. Those thoughts bring horrible feelings and anxiety, and with that it can bring depression, self-doubt, and a spiral downward we may not be able to stop. It’s in those moments I would implore you to focus on the moment. Proverbs 4:25 “Let your eyes look directly ahead And let your gaze be fixed straight in front of you.” Do not be fooled by the thoughts of tomorrow for you cannot control life moment to moment, only your own actions. We have two ways we can set our intentional focus. We can set them in the words of Mark 7:21 “For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed the evil thoughts, fornications, thefts, murders, adulteries,” Or we can focus on the words found in, Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.” Each is a choice of constant effort in perspective. Do not allow the thorn to be stuck in your side as a negative thing. Instead remember it keeps you grounded and humble in front of the Lord. Praise God for all things, the good and the bad. Praise God for the successes we have, and also the failures, which bring us to our knees. Do not be made a victim of the lies of this world, instead be a light that shines above the darkness. Use that thorn to push you, to drive you to be better, not to succumb to its effects. I am moving in a positive direction with my own struggles, and I know with time, energy, and lots of prayer, you can too. Never give up hope, and never stop trying to focus on the positive lessons we can learn.

 

Hope When You’re Down

Hope When You’re Down

The end of the road comes quicker then you’d think. The signs were there, but it seemed like the road would keep going. It seemed like a dream, never truly feeling real, yet, something, there was always something; maybe it was hope that it wasn’t real. How could so much pain befall the same person over and over in ones life? In my life I have watched many horrors as I’ve lost many in my life. In 2012 I thought for sure my next phase would be the longest and all apart of the final stage. I believed I’d finally reached the end of my struggles, but in fact, it was just setting me up for the biggest let down I’d face. I cannot express the pain that I felt, the pain that I feel, but what I can express is that my story isn’t done yet, no, it’s just beginning. I will not allow my life to fall to ruins. I will not allow my pain to keep me chained down. I will not allow my rucksack from keeping me from the top of the hill. I have seen the angel of death, I have passed through the brink, and I have not fallen to memory. In my darkest hour I have reached for the Lord and the Lord has responded with grace and mercy. Above all else, the Lord has given me love in which I never deserved, nor earned. The Lord is merciful, and kind, generous, and never failing.

Though I am still climbing my mountain I have found strength I never knew I had. That is not to say, I don’t feel low, and that I don’t often feel the weight pinning me to the ground, but like all good fighters, I have always found a way, I have always found the strength to keep moving my feet. Like a good soldier I have kept true to my creed. I have never quit, and I have not surrendered to the darkness. When I felt as if I was held captive I never stopped trying to escape the clutches of the Devil. Today I say marks the beginning of the end, and as this chapter moves to close, I can’t help but feel the sorrow in my heart. Often times pain comes from the places we never imagined they would. The pain that springs up from the depths of the ground beneath you, pushing us aside as we fall to the ground watching everything crumble around us. When we curl into a ball trying to avoid the fallout, all we can do sometimes is hang on for dear life, and pray.

In my life I have prayed for many things but never before had I prayed as earnestly, prayed as forcefully, prayed with all of my heart. My prayers were not answered, and now I stand again on the ledge looking over the valley in which I came. I can turn around and see the mountain, and I know I am not ready, but it matters not what I am ready to do, the time has come to start the climb once again. I have found my before, I shall find my way again. I search my heart for my path, and I hear scripture in my head. Proverbs 3:6 “In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.” I trust in the Holy Spirit to guide me when I feel lost. I trust in my God to not forsake me when I am lost in my own sight. I trust because I’ve seen. I believe because I feel. I hope because I know. Proverbs 3:7 “Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the LORD and turn away from evil.” I know truth from faith, I know fact from fiction, and I cannot deny my own experience. I know the senses of my own body, and what has been experienced by this feeble body of mine. The Lord is not something that is some story told to bring comfort to those seeking some understanding. The Lord is real, felt with my own flesh, heard with my own ears, and in the darkness of the night, the light the washes over my pain is unyielding. The voice that I heard was real, and the death that didn’t happen was quantifiable. While I do not know my way, I believe God will never set me on the wrong path. Proverbs 3:5 “Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding.” Faith for me is not something blind, but instead it’s because I’ve seen, I’ve experienced, that I have faith.

In my sorrow my tears have been used to wash away the old. In my joy the laughter has been used to rebuild the home of my heart. My heart which was broken is now mending. We all have wounds and in time they heal. Often in our wounds a scar remains to remind us of our past. Not to keep you chained to it, but instead to teach us lessons, not to repeat. I know that in my walk with the Lord that I will have my stumbles, and I will sometimes slip down the mountain, but I will always be caught and placed back on the trail. I may not always know how to climb the wall, but closing my eyes and keeping Jesus in my heart, I know my feet will remain secure, my hands will find their place. Proverbs 4:26 “Watch the path of your feet And all your ways will be established.” In all things we must remember that even broken, we aren’t done yet.

How Does It Feel?

How Does It Feel?

Have you ever been in emotional distress? Have you ever been in a position where you were anxious but maybe you didn’t know why? Emotions can be powerful, and sometimes they can be overwhelming. In the first step of managing distress, we must first change the physiological response. There are several ways we can do this, and the first step no matter what it is, or the cause, is to stop and realize what’s going on. Moving out of emotion mind and moving into wise mind using reason mind to pull us to center. If you feel so mad you’re shaking, or you get so mad you fly off the handle and throw stuff, or you yell, or punch walls, it’s a good bet you’re in pure fledged emotion mind. Often strong emotions can be destructive, so when we find ourselves in that mindset, lets take a moment to realize where we are, and step back. From every thought there is a feeling, and with every feeling there is an action. We must learn to stop between the feeling and consider what that action may be. We must be able to recognize our actions and determine what the consequence will be. James 1:19 “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:” When we take a moment to listen to the Holy Spirit in our hearts, we should feel a conviction to calm ourselves or at least recognize the flesh/sin behavior in ourselves. Assess your thought into the feeling, and once the feeling comes, take a moment to pause before that feelings becomes an action. Remember, once something is said or done there is no rewind button. The things we say, and do may have a lasting effect upon our lives. For every opportunity we have to control our actions, we have the possibility to show our witness as living in Christ.

When you feel the strong emotions inside you building, step back and find a way to temporarily lower your physical response. An ice pack below your eyes onto your cheeks can lower your response. There are many steps you can take to help lower your distress. You can do 20 minutes of extensive exorcise or physical activity. We want to make sure these things are healthy. No punching walls is not healthy, nor is punching people, pets, or any other nonsense like that. Deep breathing techniques are a favorite of mine. I often mix this with muscle relaxation. This is the process of tightening muscle groups on the inhale, and relaxing them on the exhale. This works from head to toe. There are other things we can do, such as stepping out of our stressor for a few moments and breathe. We can phone a friend to help calm down, or engage in something we know for a fact relaxes us. Disclaimer, I am not talking about substances such as drugs or alcohol. This is using your mind and body to help heal itself in distress.

These things take time and when they are put into practice and grow in skill, you will find what works better, and what doesn’t. As I mentioned breathing and muscle works well for me in the moment, but if I am feeling stressed, or anxious, if I can, I try to build a Lego set, or go for a walk, play a video game, or read. If we are honest with ourselves, we don’t have to keep our cups (of stress) full. I was told recently how PTSD is like climbing a mountain. While we may never reach the top there will be moments when we reach plateaus, but more importantly, what we choose to carry in our rucksack is entirely up to us. There will be things from our past that many of us carry with us, but if we’re being honest we don’t have to. Some things that shape you, you need with you, so some things in your pack are mandatory, but others are entirely optional. It’s taken me years to start getting to a healthy weight in my own pack, but for the first time in my life, I feel lighter then I’ve been in a long time.

We must learn the heart of Christ. In Christ we must learn that our lips, our tongues. We are ambassadors of Christ and we must be honest with ourselves and find who we are again. Managing your PTSD, anxiety, depression is an Odyssey of your own. The journey may not be a quick and easy one, but with time, effort, endurance, and patience you too will one day make it home. PTSD, or any of the other ailments people may suffer from does not define you. If anyone is like me I was always worried how people would treat me if they knew what I suffered with. I was always worried how I would be judged, and even though Jesus on more then one occasion told us not to judge one another. Even though I like to think I follow that code, others don’t. We are a judgmental people, and my flesh desire to fit in has kept me in my own pain for a long time. Once I finally admitted to myself that I was honestly the one holding myself back by forcing myself to stay trapped in my own negative judgments. This was depression, a lack of motivation, staying in the house, avoiding social events, and trying to make connections online because it was easier then facing people directly afraid of rejection. When I realized I was keeping myself stuck on the side of the mountain, my rucksack heavy, weighing me down, I was unable to pick myself up to continue on. Are we holding onto guilt, and shame, fear, and loss on our daily walk? How much pain are we holding onto? When will decide to finally let it go, and live in our moment? I know when I was on a ruck march in the military I loved the feeling of finally releasing those straps and feeling the weight of my ruck leave my shoulders. When we hold onto all those things, every day we are adding more stress, more anxiety, more troubles, and more trials to our bags. We can allow the weight to crush us, or we can drop the stuff we don’t need today, and drive on. Our mission is to keep working our way up the hill, and we must learn to pack the mission essentials, and drop everything else.

Allow yourself to feel and to live in the moment. Allow your sins to flow to God for forgiveness and don’t hold onto them anymore. Make amends for wrong doings, and then move forward. Philippians 3:13-14 “13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” There was a famous monkey one time that had great advice. “The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it.” (Rafiki) The message is so plain and simple, yet one of the hardest things we may ever try to put into action. The concept of dealing with your past and not holding onto it is centuries old. Isaiah 43:18-19 “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. 19 See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”

So how do you feel? Do you feel like you’re in control over your emotions, or do they control you? Do you feel you are in control over your own weight you carry, or is crushing you? If you don’t have control fear not, you can gain control. You have the power to rise above your self. Don’t be a slave to your own mind any longer. Trust in the healing power of God, and go to God with your prayers of healing, and your gracious gratitude for the many blessings we all have. No day is without them for each morning we draw breath is a gift. Have faith in yourself to be able to overcome and push forward. Do not doubt yourself, and do not doubt the healing power of the Holy Spirit. Never quit, and never give up. Keep pushing up that hill.