Tag: the storm

The Dark

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The Dark

The darkening cave surrounds you, the air thick and heavy, the pounding in your ears and the fear takes hold. Close your eyes, and extend your hand. Even in the darkest of days, a connection with faith, and you can be pulled from the deepest abyss. I have often felt as if my solitude were some kind punishment. I felt as if my inability to explore and make friends was something I had done wrong. Nothing seemed to be working and I felt as if I were in a cave all-alone. I have felt as if the darkness was overtaking me, and I never knew how far I’d slip. As the darkness spread it seemed as if most of the areas in my life would be affected. The truth was, and is, when pain is what causes the darkness it’s hard to find the light. The darkness is like an infection. Once it gets inside it’s hard to be rid of it. There are many things that can cause the darkness, insecurities, jealousy, and several forms of fear. There’s a fear in me of being alone. I fear I will be along for a long period of time. One of my biggest issues is basing my self worth on what others perceive in me. I have always allowed others acceptance of me to bring me down when they don’t.

The loneliness I’ve been dealing with seems to be a lingering problem. I know for sure, an undoubted fact that the Devil has been working overtime lately, feeding me lie after lie. I have sunken into a more depressed state, feeling alone, and questioning my own mortality. I’m not talking suicidal thoughts, but the wondering motif of the past, and thinking I missed out on a more deserved fate. These lies come straight from the pits of Hell, and it’s important to at least realize the source if we are to better fight against it. The Devil will try to attack you, finding the cracks to get in. Once the Devil gets in, the small speck turns like a seed to a plant spreading it’s evil fines throughout your life. What line of defense do you have to protect yourself from the trails and tribulations that will befall you? We know that scripture teaches us to turn to God for our strength. We are taught to guard our heart, and protect our mind. We are taught to use the armor of God and not allow ourselves to fall victim to the spiritual warfare that we are actively engaged in. The dark cannot exist when you shine the light on it. The light can only exist if you choose not to sit in the darkness. You have to choose to leave the darkness behind and fight to stay in the light.

Fighting depression, anxiety, hopelessness isn’t ever easy, but it’s something we must endure, and learn to fight back against. The darkness is in all of us. We all have the ability for great evil, but also great love. We will always have a choice in this life to follow the path of light or dark. We will make choices every day, and sometimes we may actually believe that what we are doing is what’s best, but I heard a sermon recently, your heart can be deceived and therefore you shouldn’t trust it. The heart can be fooled into feeling a great many things, and it’s in Christ we find our Godly wisdom. We won’t always make the best of choices, and we won’t always follow the right path, but if we truly trust in the Lord, and believe that we are doing what would be bring glory to God, then we stand a chance to living our life in the light, and not the dark. I’ve seen men and women walk a path, and just at the snap of your fingers something or someone comes along, a viper in the weeds to lure them to the dark side. Lust presents itself as love, and how often do we as a people try to do what’s best for us in the name of love? When we are fooled by the feel good emotions, the drug in which many marriages, and friendships have fallen into ash, then we see the darkness that has covered our very world.

While I find myself fighting the darkness from rising, and I have considered myself a failure by all right, I know where those lies come from. The struggle is real regardless. Your feelings should always be lined up with the situation to know that your feelings are validated. We all have good and bad feelings, and sometimes our life’s struggles cause us to feel badly about ourselves. It’s hard to manage what you feel, and what you know you should feel. I know I shouldn’t feel worthless, and I know I shouldn’t question my own mortality. The fight is real, and the challenges don’t necessarily get any easier as time goes on. We know we need to turn to others in our time of need, but more importantly the Lord. We know we can’t keep ourselves on our own island, keeping us secluded. Isolation is unhealthy and we are easily picked off when we’re alone. We are weakest by ourselves, and we need to find strength in numbers. Don’t keep yourself secluded, go out and find yourself in the light. Stay out of the darkness because the darkness can take hold, and if we aren’t careful, it doesn’t let go easily.

The Face of Evil

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The Face of Evil

Does the face we show the world reflect the heart within? Does the soul we have look dark, shrouded in shadow? I’ve lived only a little while on this earth by some standards yet in that time I’ve seen the face of evil more then once. I’ve watched as men killed one another over religious ideologies. I’ve see the horrible things that come from war as people smile to your face, but in their hearts, they want to kill you. I have watched as loved ones who claimed to be loving, and devoted to me have turned their backs on vows and promises, and oaths, and instead while on the outside I see the loving face, the kisses, the hugs, on the inside the plots begin, and horrible things loom. The treachery that looms within a person can lay dormant for years, but as the Billy Joel song goes, “We all have a face that we hide away forever.” Sometimes we come home to a face we don’t recognize, but that’s because some people hide who they are and try to be something they aren’t. How do we handle when the world of people changes right before our eyes? Does the change in a person break our foundation? For a moment to long it broke mine. I fell and when I did the whole world seem to break and fall apart. I let myself be fooled by my own blindness and the day the truth came out, I fractured and fell into the deepest despair I could ever imagine.

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The day the shot rang out changed everything for me. My entire outlook on life changed, along with my outlook on people. In the year that’s followed I have seen more hateful, more hurtful, more disgraceful behavior come out of the people that were supposed to be my closest friends. I have seen the good in people, the generosity, the love, but sadly the bad has far outweighed the good. The end though is one day the end will come for us all, and we will be judged not by the works we’ve done, or the money we have, or the kittens we’ve saved out of trees, the judgment at the foot of the cross will be on the content of our hearts. Isn’t it the judgment within ourselves we should be focused on most though? I’ve struggled with taking the blame for things I really didn’t have anything to do with. I’ve watched as my world fell around me and I held myself to blame. As I have watched a utter change up in my life in nearly every category,

When I have my bad days, I often feel the pull of the Devil inside my head. I feel the darkness creeping in telling me lies, and telling me I’m not worthwhile. While the world can be unfair and cruel, we can’t allow ourselves to succumb to it. We cannot allow ourselves to harden our hearts, and become cold and cruel. We can’t be the villains in our story. There are a few quotes I remember that make me think about this topic. “All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy. That’s how far the world is from where I am. Just one bad day. You had a bad day once, am I right? I know I am. I can tell. You had a bad day and everything changed.” (Joker) While Batman’s bad day led him to the roll of hero, I can’t say that happens to everyone. I think more often then not, people’s bad days lead them down a darker path. I think for most people it follows this “As you know, madness is like gravity…all it takes is a little push.” (Joker) When we think about it, aren’t we fragile creatures? The mind is a fragile thing. The Devil prays on that weakness, he prays on our insecurities, and our shortcomings, and in that we must learn to take our lows to the Lord. Do not allow yourself to fall pray to the darkness. Fight the Devil and remember to always keep your mind to the Lord.

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The pain will come I can whittle away pieces of your heart if you’re not careful. We don’t want that bad day to come when we give up who we are, and forsake everything we’ve built. I’ve seen marriages fall apart because of one big bad day. One thing, one major event can shake your and crack your foundation if you aren’t careful. As Frank Castle once told DareDevil, ““You know, you’re one bad day away from being me.” We don’t want to the one to destroy everything around us. Sadly I had a bad day once and I would loose what was most important to me. 18 months later I’m still trying to put the pieces back together in my life. While I’m not perfect I was recently told I’ve made great improvements in a years time. The thing is, progress no matter how slow is progress. We must continue to move forward. People will come into your life and they will be whatever they are going to be. Some will be kind and sweet, others will be the face of evil and sadly we will feel the pain from lies, betrayal, and loss.

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Don’t quit on yourself, and don’t loose your way. Stay on your path with Jesus and don’t let the masks hurt you, don’t let the masks lie to you. Don’t don your mask and be something you’re not. Devote your heart to the Lord and let that be your world. Stay away from the faces of evil. Keep fighting the good fight, and the day you finish the race, you’ll have something to be proud of. Love Jesus and let the light be in you always.

 

 

 

How Do You Feel?

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How Do You Feel?

We are a nation, a society of shielding ourselves from real feelings. We are no longer a proactive society. We allow ourselves to be shielding from our feelings by way of relationships, money, and even sometimes our jobs. We no longer talk on the phone, instead we text and often people we may never meet in person. It’s easy to walk away because people don’t become attached, they don’t feel the connection. Money is the same way. We no longer feel the loss of money when we spend by just swiping the card. Instead of using the feeling of cash between our fingers we swipe the plastic and never see the connection between our money and us. We mismanage our lives poorly. We handle our money poorly, and we handle and manage our personal relationships. We don’t manage the gifts we are given by God. We don’t feel appreciative of the little things God gives us. We don’t feel that connection to our earthy gifts from our heavenly Father.

When we receive our gifts from God how do we look at those? Are we feeling our gifts, and are we any good at it? When we appreciate our gifts, when we actually have our feelers in the mix we take care of what we are given. When God gives us friendships, when God gives us people in our lives and we should cultivate those relationships. We should cultivate the money we are given, and ensure that we are using that gift to glorify God. When we feel nothing to let friends go, we must look at why we feel nothing. When we feel nothing for the money you spend, and you overspend, or use credit cards like it’s free cash, we see a society of foolish people growing.

When you look at your life and you look at what you have how do you feel? When you look at your life are you satisfied with the friends in your life? Are you satisfied with how you ended friendships? Do you feel badly with how you treated your coworker last week? How did you treat the waitress at the restaurant yesterday? If someone from the outside looked in on your life, would you be able to call yourself a Christian, or not? We all make mistake, but it’s important to understand the mistakes we are making. It’s not easy to evaluate our lives and figure out if we’re doing something right or wrong. Do we complicate our lives? Remember someone’s struggles, someone’s hardships do not constitute complications.

When we see something complicated in our society the natural reaction is to run away. We are a feel good society and we want to feel good. We want to rid our lives of anything that makes us feel anything but good. We want to emotionally spend even if we don’t have the money. We spend on credit cards because we deserve to have whatever it is we seek because we’ve earned it. We’ve had a hard day, or a hard week, and it’s decided we can indulge now, and deal with the implications latter. 1 Timothy 5:8 “But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” If we provide for our household with finances we should be willing to help the rest of our family with love and support. We are a family in Christ and therefore we should be willing to provide what’s needed for those in trials to succeed. When we look at our loved ones, or friends who are going through a hard time, and we decide that dealing with them is just bringing you down, we use our feelings and yet we aren’t behaving as Christians. We don’t talk about things that are hard because it brings negative emotions that we no longer know how to manage in our lives.

We must learn to understand that both positive and negative feelings are important. How do we appreciate our positive feelings if we never allow negative feelings to be felt? If we run away from anything negative we miss the message in scripture. Scripture teaches us we WILL face hardships. Not only are we going to face the hardships, we are also told our brothers and sisters will also face hardships. This isn’t a suggestion, but we are told to raise one another, we are told to help carry the burdens of those in need in our lives. The thing is, if we feel the need to allow those to fall around us, and we don’t pick up their cross to help them, who’s going to help you? If you were in the crowd and you watched the Lord of all things fall, bleeding, and we choose not to help Jesus Christ lift and carry his cross because we don’t want to get involved, we don’t want the negative vibes to infect, to infest our good feelings, how do we feel? You see, when we abandon those in our lives because they have some drama, or they have hardships going on in their lives, leaving them to fend for themselves is not scriptural. Now, I will say some people choose to stay in their fire. They choose not to help themselves and they bring upon their own burdens. Those people can be difficult and it can be hard to keep them in our lives. Leeches are not what I’m talking about. Helping others is a scriptural principle that is non negotiable. We must help, but we are also told to use our gifts wisely. When we help those in need especially financially we must be good stewards of what we have.

I would like to think most people do not bring their own burdens upon themselves. But if they do, we must try to show the love of Christ. We must attempt to help show them a better way. We must be willing to put ourselves out there a little to help save them. If we were in a house with a fire would we not want a firefighter to come in to the house to save us? They put themselves at risk to save us from the fire. We can all be firefighters, or rescue swimmers, and help those in crisis. We can’t expect the fire never to come because it does. I challenge you all to take a good long hard look at yourselves and see if you have been allowing someone close to you to carry his or her cross alone. Have you turned your back on someone that reached out to you for help? Have you walked away from friendships because they had too much going on? Be good stewards, and walk in Christ in your every day. Be thankful for your gifts, but those gifts may not always be there if you are not walking in Christ. If you do not use the gifts of God to glorify God, you can’t expect the gifts to keep coming if we aren’t walking with the Lord in other areas of our lives. We feel all kinds of things in our life, but we must learn to feel the grace of the Holy Spirit. That grace is important because when we allow the Holy Spirit to be in us, we will feel more empathy for others. We will often feel more sympathy for the blights of others when we are more in tuned with the thoughts and feelings of those around us. We are all in this together, and we need others to help us sometimes and it’s important to realize that love is a give emotion. We are told to love our brothers and sisters and that means being there for them when we need to. Let go of your selfish desire to rid yourself of all negativity. Negative events will happen, and it’s not about if but when. We have insurance because we want it when something goes wrong. The thing is, when the fire comes we don’t want to have to face putting it out on our own. We call for the fire department and we appreciate them being there. Our friends are the same way. We should feel the pain of others and we should be driven to help when we can. Believe it or not, when we are able to help someone through a crisis, how we feel will actually be positive making a change to someone’s life. Love all, cherish all, and be good stewards of God’s gifts. 1 Peter 4:16 “Yet if anyone suffers as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God in that name.”

 

The Raging Sea

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The Raging Sea

My Lord,

I have often questioned why the life I’ve lived had to be so hard. I’ve questioned why I lived through such troubles. My God I have looked to you for answers to questions that aren’t easy. I’ve asked questions that haven’t been answered, and as the raging storm continues, I try to remember the truth, the Living God is still in power.

The storm comes in, almost like it formed in an instant and struck the world with a ferocious appetite. The storm churns the water and bounces and raises the waves, taller then the boat, and crashes down and fills your lungs, it fills my lungs and makes me choke under the pounding water.

My Lord, as the sea rages down and the skies are black and loud, and no matter the waves, the falling down upon my head, I know that there is still hope, there is still joy to be had. In the storm I find peace in the knowledge that God is with me. Finding truth that I will be fine in the end. The storm can’t last forever, and I know that I will endure, I will remain kind to others, I will remain loving and spread that love in the storm.

Galatians 5:22-23 “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.” No matter if we are living through the worst hell on earth, or if we have everything we could ever want, we must learn to truth in the Lord, and be faithful servants of the Lord. We must learn to love our neighbors. We must learn to have our patience with people, and patience in our trials. We must understand that we should be faithful friends, and not just friends of convenience. Are we only friends when things are shiny, or are we there in the storm? In the last several months I’ve lost friend after friend because they don’t want to be surrounded by negative ‘vibes’ as they’ve put it. That tells me that they have no desire to watch or be apart of the struggles of someone else’s life, a fair weather friend. We aren’t faithful friends, we fall short and we let our brothers in need down. We show our ‘friends’ they can’t depend on us, and if we are not allowing our brothers and sisters to lean on us, we aren’t following the word of God. We do not exude patience in our lives, because if we only show our impatience no one wants to be around someone who lets their impatience shine through rather then love, and calm.

What if God was as faithful to you, as you are to him? The truth is, in the Storm, when we are in struggle, how do people view us? I have found that people have little patience for someone in struggle. I have found myself struggling to maintain my own patience in the storms. I have found myself falling short in the words of Galatians. However, I know that where I have not fallen short is my love for others. I maintain my hope for tomorrow, and I have maintained my support of my friends. I have given grace, and love to those who would do me harm. I have shown my self-control when all I wanted to do was scream and yell, and let loose. It’s not easy doing the right thing sometimes, but in that moment I do let my voice raise, I instantly feel badly about it. I have found that I cannot rest until I make a heartfelt apology. We will be judged by how we act in the storm more so then when it’s clear skies. We must show our witness as genuine, we must be kind and caring not just when the world is bright, but in all times.

In the world of darkness are we the lighthouse shining as exemplas to our friends who are in the storm? Are we willing to jump into the waters to help save our friends in need? I think of the rescue swimmers in the Coast Guard, willing to leave the safety of the helicopter and plunge into the icy waters. They jump from safety to risk it all for those in need. They put everything on the line to be the hope for someone afraid, someone alone in the waters in the middle of the worst storm they’ve ever seen. The rescue swimmers are there to be the hope, be the light because they can swim longer, be stronger, be the hope and light in the darkest of nights. When we need hope are we left alone in the waters by ourselves, or do we have loved ones jump in to be with us to help us through?

When the raging waters are crushing the people we care about, are we there to help them, or do we stay dry. I have heard people tell me they don’t want to be apart of the negativity, they don’t want the drama in their life so they stay away. As a Christian we aren’t taught to play it safe. We aren’t taught to stay on the sideline, to keep our feet dry. Matthew 14:28-33 “And Peter answered him, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” 29 He said, “Come.” So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind,[d] he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.” 31 Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”32 And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. 33 And those in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.” We know the storm will happen. Are faithful that we will remain afloat in the eyes of danger, or do we doubt and fall into the abyss? Where do you fall today? Are you a faithful Christian with hope and love in your heart, or are you sinking under the waves? Are you a friend who would jump in the icy waters to save someone you claim to care for, or are you going to stay in the warmth of the helicopter? When the storm is raging and you need a friend, no matter if your earthly friends are there or if they have abandoned you, remember that God will never leave or forsake you. The Lord is your Sheppard, and he will be all you need. You will lay in the meadow; he renews your strength and will guide you. You will walk through the valley, and no matter what, the Lord will be there and you will be in Gods amazing grace always.

No matter where you are we know that we can always turn to God. If we are weak in our walk we can grow strength by opening our heart to the Holy Spirit. If we are walking in darkness and we reject the Holy Spirit, it’s never too late to change that. If we are forsaking our friends and turning our back on them when they need us, shame on us for it. If we are the ones being forsaken, pray earnestly for them. WE as Christians need to pray for our loved ones, we must pray for our enemies, and in all things have faith and pray for the storms all around the world to dissipate. Pray for peace, and joy. Pray for those who struggle with loss, with sickness, with pain in their hearts. For just one moment try to look through the eyes of our Heavenly Father. Try to look upon those around you with the love and compassion of the Lord. Try to see beyond our own piece of the pie and give grace and love to others. Not everyone has the strength to be a rescue swimmer, but we can all be the lighthouse on the shore. We may not be able to jump into the fray, but we can still be a beacon of hope. We can still shine with the light of the Lord in our hearts, and at least show there is still hope to those lost at sea. When we are lost, when we are in pain, don’t we want that? Don’t we want someone to remind us we aren’t alone, and that one day the storm will subside?

My God,

You are the ultimate lighthouse in the storm. You are the hand to lift us out of the dark, icy waters, and you give us warmth. You hold us and protect us from the evil all around us. You showed us a better way, a way of peace and love, rather then hate and despair. I believe in you my risen King, Jesus who died for me. I believe the power of the blood saved me, and all. I know I shall one day pass beyond this world, and see the gates of paradise and although that day may not be today, I know that the rain will pass, and the sun will shine. I hurt, and in my pain, I know that you are sitting on this couch right next to me. My God I know so many in pain, so many who are hurting and need you. I pray they open their hearts to you, and that they will find peace in the unrelenting screams of the ocean. When I was in the waters all alone you came to me and you showed me this life isn’t the end. You showed me a better path out of the darkness, and for that, I cry, I weep for those who have not seen you. I cry for those who have not felt the warmth of your grace, your forgiveness, your love. The peace comes and calms the waves, and the sun shines again. My God thank you for your unyielding love and grace. I will never be worthy of such things, but nevertheless I have it. I pray for those whom I’ve lost, and those who’ve gone their own way. I pray for those whom I love deeply, may you guide and protect them in the dark woods in which they roam. You my God, you are my guide, and I shall follow you till the day I breathe my last. The living water that flows over me, and pushes away the clouds, I feel you today. Though it may be raining outside, and the storm might be raging inside, the light still shines, and one day, one day soon, the storm shall pass, as according to your will. In all things to your grace my Lord.

Amen

 

 

 

 

Shadows In The Dark

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Shadows In The Dark

Have you ever lain in your bed, the room dark, with shadows dancing around the walls? The fear those shadows instill in a young boy. The constant terror a child will face, afraid of the monsters looming around the void of light. We grow up and we learn that some of those shadows are no more then the tree outside dancing in the wind. We learn not to let our imagination run wild in the dark. What if some of those shadows weren’t shadows at all, but the Devil and his minions, his Demons from Hell that are taunting you, playing with your emotions, and bringing you the fear. As we get older temptations and fear, and even the lies people will utter have a deep impact on us and our fragile sensibility. When someone spreads lies about you it hurts your feelings. When people are cruel for no reason but their own insecurities it doesn’t feel good. Over the years I’ve lost many of my friends due to the insecurities of others. The struggle to maintain friendships as you get older has gotten harder then ever. When Facebook released I thought keeping and maintaining friendships would have been easier, instead I think it’s gotten harder. The problem is, with the invent of social media, and apps, the secret life has become very common. I think the paranoia of everyone has in fact infected everyday relationships. The truth is, the Devil has found new and creative ways to break into the hearts and minds people everywhere.

It’s difficult when you are trying to make friends. There’s so much fear, and insecurities, and distrust in the world today it makes it hard to make and keep friends. We see the scripture actually talks about social media in a way. 1 Corinthians 15:33 “Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.” Social media has given the ability to now hide communication, and lie and cheat your way through life. As friendships come and go today we find ourselves in a world that cares very little for truth, honesty, or loyalty. It’s important that we look to those in our lives that are closest to us. We need to find our brothers and sisters in Christ. It’s in that, that we will find those who will not just be a friendly hello, but those who will be there for us in our times of adversity. Proverbs 17:17 “A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” Friends will come and go, but those friends who become more, that become like family, those are the people that you need to water and cultivate and allow it to grow and flourish. Proverbs 18:24 “A man [that hath] friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend [that] sticketh closer than a brother.”

Don’t let the shadow overtake you. The struggle of loosing your friends, your loved ones, is very real and it happens to many. The storms will come and go, the trials, and the turbulent weather will toss you around like a dogs chew toy. The war for our hearts and minds is fought in the shadows. The war for our very soul is fought every day in the darkness. We must remember that the Devil will sway those away from us, and when that happens all we can do is pray for them, and move forward in our lives. There are plenty of new flavors to allow the Devil his tricks, but we have to be strong and fight the fight. We have to continue to fight and never let go. The last thing we want to do is be one step away from turning the corner we can’t turn back from. We can only do so much to help those who’ve fallen victim to the lies. We have to keep pushing forward and try to bring the light to the darkness. I’m reminded of the Jorker from The Dark Knight. Are we just one bad day from crossing the line? Are we one bad day from embracing the darkness? We must continue to fight against that and remember Jesus is the light of the world and is always with us.

 

What’s In Your Heart?

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What’s in your heart?

17 months and I haven’t had any nibbles. I realized for every one worm there’s 15-30 fish. The women just dangle the worm and doesn’t have to do anything. So women, they get to pick the biggest shiniest fish out there. The thing with social dating sites is the emphasis on the physical attraction, and what’s written in the profile is glazed over. While we know what scripture says about your outward appearance, and what God thinks is most important. People will judge others, while God judges the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7 “But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” Why can’t we look beyond the flesh to the soul within?

I was told recently that in all of the dating apps out there women are focused on the looks, and because they get so many men to choose from those who look like models are often picked up first, and those who do not, well, they fall to the wayside. Sadly it seems my fish analogy is spot on. While I change my photo’s regularly, and I update what’s written often, as to keep my profiles lively. This however hasn’t changed the outcome, or my luck.

For several or more years I have often been guilty of allowing those who’ve hurt me to remain in my life after a period of time. Someone hurts me and months or years later they pop back up into my life, and once again I allow them access to my life. More often then not, over time that renewed friendship is broken and often in the same it was broke the first time. I have always believed that people are human and they make mistakes. We look only to our own pleasure, the pleasure in someone’s looks, or the pleasure they bring to our lives, and when that pleasure is gone, we as a people move on. I have always tried to look into a person’s heart and see the best in them. We should always learn to seek the heart after God, and not the outer shell. We should always seek ones true self, the actionable, the outward appearance of one’s inner self. True people will hurt you, people will make mistakes, but it’s important not to be taken advantage of.

Learning what’s in someone’s heart is important. It’s important not to be unequally yoked. 2 Corinthians 6:14 “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?” In all the time I’ve been trying to get back into dating I have maintained my search for a Christian women to give my heart too. While I have found myself wrestling with my current situation I find that in my heart I am becoming weary. I am tired of seeking people only to be lied to, and dismissed. The thing with our society these days is based so much out the outward appearance. The sad thing about that is, looks fade. Love no longer matters, and people are so easily offended and scared away, that it makes communication a dying art. We don’t take the time to get to know anyone anymore. We don’t take the time to learn about someone, ask them questions, have long heart felt talks, and more importantly, to bond with someone. I’ve found friends that come and go so easily aren’t truly happy with themselves. Lovers who leave for no reason, who give up everything once worked for, are truly broken inside.

If you want to look at someone’s heart, you should look to how they’ve handled rejection. Look at how they handle conflict, and dealt with difficult people. It’s in those moments when they are forced to make a choice. We have both light and dark inside us, and we are always capable of both extraordinary love and compassion, or deep-seated hate and resentment. When you look at someone’s behavior you will get a glimpse of who they are. Sure people are human and there will be times when they don’t put their best foot forward, but when you look at an overall representation, you will see that when the heart is tested, the true nature will rear it’s head. A person who out of anger slashes someone’s tires, or makes up stories and lies, or sells a house full of items behind someone’s back, that person is angry, and vengeful. On the other hand, a person who gives friendly gifts, or offers a shoulder to cry on, or rescues someone from a current boyfriend who’s beat them, regardless of the things done, you can see the difference in the heart. People most always disserve a second chance. People always disserve forgiveness. When we are looking for friends, or for love, we need to remember to look at actions, and look at patters to show one’s heart. “It’s not who I am underneath, it’s what I do that defines me!” (Batman Begins)

 Show your heart and make no mistake that you are beautiful on the inside. There’s a line from the suicide squad that got me thinking. Captain Boomerang (Digger Hartness) was talking to Harley Quinn, he said this, “You know, outside you’re amazing. But inside, you’re ugly.” (Suicide Squad) The thing is when we judge a book by its cover we never truly see what lies beneath. When we look only at what’s on the outside we will often miss the beauty that God created on the inside. Someone as beautiful as Harley Quinn is perfect on the outside but on the inside she’s as broken as they come, and crazy isn’t a strong enough word to describe her. We as Christians need to do better with how we treat others. We need to do better with that big J word that’s floated around and we claim we never do, but we do, and that’s pass judgment. We do it every time we look at someone, every time we talk with someone, and it’s caused a lot of pain and heartache for people. It’s time we learn to look beyond the outer shell, and look more deeply. We should be curious to get to know our brothers and sisters. We should be curious to connect and reach out, and help those in need. We cannot sit idly by and do nothing when our neighbor’s heart is broken. We must share in the joy of life, and help when that joy is broken. We should want to extend our hearts to those in need, and stop judging people by what we see.

I have learned a hard lesson in the last year, and that’s people aren’t what I thought. I never realized how shallow, and selfish people can be on the whole. While I’m obviously not talking in absolutes, black and white, I am talking about the majority, or at least from my vantage point. See we can only come to conclusions based on what we see, what we experience, and although that may not be a fair assessment, it’s the only one some people have. In my experience online dating is a farce, and people are shallow and cruel. While I hope one day to be proven wrong, thus far, the evidence I’ve gathered doesn’t show that. A 30 something, white male, with average looks, and a standing Christian, just doesn’t seem to be what attracts women these days. Now let me say this, attraction is very important in any relationships, and marriage. This cannot be the soul purpose to a relationship though. Looks fade and we must trust in the heart over the eyes. While I have undoubtedly not raised many eyebrows, I realize I cannot give up hope. Every day is a new chance, a new opportunity, and in my search for my counterpart, I realize that in all things we must understand that it’s God’s schedule, not our own that matters. Patience and understand are virtues we must learn to embrace. If you’ve have trouble finding love as I have, don’t give up hope. Remember that prayer alone is not everything, but action is just as important. We must learn to allow prayer and guidance to move our feet in the right direction. We can pray for money, but if we don’t work towards it, it’s not going to show up on our doorstep. Love is the same way. We must go out and be apart of the world. We can’t just sit by and hope it comes to us. We have to have faith, but have action. Show others what’s in your heart, and don’t hide away from your true nature just because you want people to like you. If someone doesn’t like you because you’re a nerd, or you’re a Christian, or you build Lego sets for fun, then they aren’t right for you. Stay strong in your search, and don’t forget to pray about it. Don’t forget to thank God for what you have, and never give up hope. One day your waiting will pay off, and the right things will come to you.

 

 

 

Play the Long Game

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Play the Long Game

I was thinking recently about prayer. Why do we pray to God, and how do we think about that relationship? I’ve recently found myself frustrated that after all this time my prayers hadn’t been answered. I found myself thinking I had done something to upset God and therefore I wouldn’t be getting His grace. I kept thinking to myself ‘I spend all this time lifting others up, I help people and I guide them in the light of the Lord. So why am I left without the one thing I really want in this world?” While this question taunted me in both my dreams and my waking moments, it finally dawned on me. I remembered when I was younger. I was 15 years old and I was having some family problems. Long story short I needed to change my situation and I needed to make a move that would be permanent. With few options I realized I might have to move in with my Grandfather. With a little effort the move with my Grandpa was rather seamless. His house had 3 bedrooms so size wasn’t an issue. The school there was rumored to be a great school and smaller, much smaller so that would actually work out for me. The thing is, Grandpa had been trying to sell his house on and off for a few years and had absolutely no luck. Had his prayers been answered I wouldn’t have had a place to go in my time of need. For me moving to Big Rapids was the best choice I could have ever made. See, unanswered prayers were by design within the long game, and perhaps in the short term an inconvenience, but God doesn’t play the short game.

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2 Timothy 4:7 “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” When you train for a marathon you learn to take your time, we learn to pace ourselves and see the bigger picture within our race. We always want so badly to finish the race and get the prize, but we don’t want to work to get there. On this long road we find ourselves on, do we get impatient when it comes to our prayers? I have been praying for the same thing for nearly 18 months now and my prayers have yet to be answered. I have asked why, and I have I fallen on my knees as tears fall from my face begging for my prayers to be answered and still I am met with silence.

Lord, I need you, BY: Matt Maher

Lord, I come, I confess
Bowing here I find my rest
Without You I fall apart
You’re the One that guides my heart

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

See the thing about prayer, and the thing about God is there’s a plan, and His plan isn’t always our plan, in fact his plan is never our plan. I have tried to remember on this lonely path of mine that sometimes we must learn to rest our minds and give it up to God. Prayer comes with one thing that’s so important and that’s faith. When we pray we are asking God to take care of said prayer. Whatever it is desired in our hearts that we take to God we must have Faith that those things are being taken care of, even if it’s not to our speed, or our liking. When we are hurting, or when we are lonely in our own time facing those valleys it can feel like an eternity. When we face our eternity the storm is terrifying, and we question how we can ever make it through. We question how we’re ever going to be strong enough to survive such a terrible storm. When you feel like you’ve lost your way, and you don’t know what to say, just remember that God gave us Christ, and in that we will always have hope. No matter the length of our prayers, the time we wait will not be for nothing.

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When you feel like you are in the storm and you feel broken, and lost, wandering around in the worst pain you’ve ever felt, remember that in our sorrows, we turn to the one place we can find truth, real answers, and we will be renewed in our strength.

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God of All My Days By: Casting Crowns

 I came to You with my heart in pieces
And found the God with healing in His hands
I turned to You, put everything behind me
And found the God who makes all things new
I looked to You, drowning in my questions
And found the God who holds all wisdom
And I trusted You and stepped out on the ocean
You caught my hand among the waves
‘Cause You’re the God of all my days

 Each step I take
You make a way
And I will give You all my praise
My seasons change, You stay the same
You’re the God of all my days

 I ran from You, I wandered in the shadows
And found a God who relentlessly pursues
I hid from You, haunted by my failure
And found the God whose grace still covers me
I fell on You when I was at my weakest
And found the God, the lifter of my head
And I’ve worshiped You
And felt You right beside me
You’re the reason that I sing
‘Cause You’re the God of all my days

 

Worship is hard sometimes when you hurt. The road is long, but the “juice is always worth the squeeze” when God is concerned. God will never leave nor will He forsake you. We cannot see the joys that are coming in our life, but when we walk with God our blessings will be endless. We long for things in our heart, and when the time is right for us, we will be granted those things if they are to lift us up. The Lord can give and take away anything. I know for me, I long for the love of another. I feel alone most of my days and I struggle to find the joy in the things around me. I have prayed till my tears would flow no more. I have prayed with everything I had and yet no answer. It’s not easy to quiet your mind and allow the world to happen all around you, and find yourself content. It’s not easy being bombarded with lies from the Devil telling you, you’re not good enough. Lies telling you that you’ll never be loved, never be wanted. The Devil tells you lies like you’re worthless, and helpless. The Devil tells you, you deserved the pain that was brought down upon you. When we are in our own pain, it’s hard to see the way out of that. Sometimes the pain we’re in lasts a long time. Sometimes the heartbreak we feel goes far beyond what we ever expected it would. The long game though, a journey of thistles and thorns, the trials of fire to forge you into something more. You must be broken down to be built up stronger as something else. When you don’t know how to stand, don’t, fall to your knees and pray. When you don’t know how to walk anymore, crawl. When you can’t see your way, stop and close your eyes. When you can’t move, learn to be still. When your world is upside down, learn to pray, learn to cry, learn to be exactly wherever you are. God will allow you to go through Hell to get to Heaven. You’re stronger then you know, because if you have God in your heart you can achieve greatness. You’re a child of the King and if that’s the truth, then you have the winning side in your corner. Have faith and keep your sight on the Golden Ring.

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My God,

You have seen it fit to allow me to walk this path alone on this earth. You have seen it fit to give me just what I need to keep moving forward. My God you have seen it fit to leave me alone with no companion. You’ve seen it fit to allow my body to fail me, and with no sign of reprieve I ask you my God to take me out of the shadows. My God I ask for you to remove this pain from my heart and show me the sun once more. I pray to you to take me out of this storm and give me rest. My God you are the God of all the hills and valleys and I pray to be laid beside the green meadows, and no longer in the valley. I have trusted you my Lord and as I still do I know that in all things you have the power and the will to change anything. My God I ask to help my friends who are suffering this night. I pray you give them rest, and peace where they need it. I pray to rise me up to the top of the mountain and give me the strength to stand, and run, free from the shadows that taunt me at night. I know I’m not alone even though I often feel like it. Protect me from the lies I hear in the dark. Protect me from the attacks I face day in and day out. I know my God someday I will move forward, and I know that even though I feel like I’m going backwards, and I know I’m not home yet. I know I have more to do, and I pray for the wisdom to see it through to the end. I pray to have the strength and wisdom of my brother Paul who was your beautiful Child, who ran the race, and taught and preached your word. I see so much, and I pray I see through your eyes. I know that today isn’t the end, and even though I feel tired, and I feel weak, I know that you will strengthen me to finish strong. Guide me through this storm, and allow me to continue to do the works you have me do. Allow this little Blog to grow and spread further into the world. Allow my struggles to be someone else’s strength. Give me guidance and if your will is to answer my prayers I understand it will be in your time. In all things I give thanks and I pray for peace and joy upon my friends and family. “I’ll live this life till this life won’t let me live here anymore.” (Big & Rich) Your will be done my Lord, my King, my Abba.

Amen.

 

 

 

 

WALK A MILE

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WALK A MILE

Don’t judge because you don’t know what someone’s been through. I’ve seen it a lot where people pass judgment on others, and even on me. I have lost many friends in my life because of one sad thing, judgment. Don’t we judge the homeless man? Don’t we judge the person with tattoos all over their body? Don’t we judge others based on what we see, or what we think? When we judge based on what we think, lest not we be judged. Matthew 7:1-3 ““Judge not, that you be not judged. 2 For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. 3 Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?” We don’t know what someone’s going through, and we don’t know how or why they are in their own situation that you are judging them. When we decide to leave someone because they are going through a hard time, think about how you would feel if you were in their shoes. If you spend a little while walking a mile in someone’s shoes, know that the truth is, you never know how you would respond, and yet you are so quick to condemn others when you have no idea how they feel, or what they are going through.

What It’s Like

We’ve all seen a man at the liquor store beggin’ for your change

The hair on his face is dirty, dread-locked, and full of mange

He asks a man for what he could spare, with shame in his eyes

“Get a job you f***** slob, ” is all he replies

God forbid you ever had to walk a mile in his shoes

‘Cause then you really might know what it’s like to sing the blues

We think we know, and we think we see the truth, but the fact is we really don’t. When experience is unique based on a lifetime of compound experiences, how dare us for thinking we have any right at all to judge anyone for the precarious predicament someone finds themselves in. That drunk outside the store, maybe he’s a Vietnam veteran, and maybe he has nightmares and flashbacks of being a soul survivor in an ambush in the jungle. Maybe he drinks to hide away from the pain. I’m not condoning drinking to hide from anything, nor am I condoning self medicating, but what would you do? If you had lived through something like that, how would you handle it? When you put a little perspective on why he’s in that situation it changes your response, or at least it should.

A while back, I was told by one of my best friends that I deserved my ex wife having an affair. I deserved her leaving and all of the horrible things she did to admittedly try to get me to hate her. When judgment was passed upon me, I fought back. See, I think one of the biggest things we sinners do is forget that when we are in pain, we often project that pain onto others. We don’t treat others in pain very well. We don’t place our selves before we decide guilt. We come to conclusions without the facts, and we condemn before we understand. We are blind and we often chose not to see. We don’t see truth; instead we make up our own truth. We decide that we have to be right because what else could it be? We never think beyond our own little box. We believe that anyone who doesn’t prescribe to our own thought processes must be wrong.

(God’s Not Dead 2 Spoilers)

In the movie God’s Not Dead 2, the pastor is removed as a juror in the trial because he needs surgery. In his place an alternate, a young girl with a skater look, piercings, and not at all someone you’d ‘think’ would swing to the defendants side. When the trial is over you see her walk by the defendant who was just found not guilty, and on the back of her neck a tattoo of a cross. She was the swing vote, and a voice for God. I’ve seen men with tattoo’s up and down their bodies preach the gospel louder then those who grew up in the church. I’ve seen men with sorted pasts, criminal pasts, who are the voice of the bible as they are firm believers. We just don’t know what someone’s going through. We don’t know what someone’s gone through in their past. We see with our own eyes, and we should try to see with God’s eyes.

Give Me Your Eyes, By: Brandon Heath

Step out on the busy street.
See a girl and our eyes meet.
Does her best to smile at me.
To hide what’s underneath.
There’s a man just to her right
Black suit and a bright red tie.
Too ashamed to tell his wife he’s out of work, he’s buyin time.
All those people going somewhere, why have I never cared.

 We see the world through sinners eyes and we are blind to the truth. We make up our own truth, and we sin when we pass judgment upon others. Are we so self righteous that we think we are the gold standard for good behavior? We have no business, or right to think our moral judgment stand above God’s. Everyone’s pain is different and unless we’ve lived someone’s life, we have no right to do anything but lift up, to help, to guide those we come in contact with. When we pass our own conclusions we become hypocrites. We become no better then the Pharisees Jesus spoke out against. We become no better then the one-sided news agencies we argue about. We become no better then crooked politicians and when we look upon someone with the contempt that comes with judgments we are looking at them with darkness in our heart. We do not show or share compassion like we should.

We all need to face a hard reality check. John 8:4-9 “4 they said to him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. 5 Now in the Law, Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?” 6 This they said to test him, that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. 7 And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8 And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground. 9 But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him.” Jesus is not condoning her actions, he is not condemning her either, he is looking upon her with compassion and forgiveness. He teaches us to not be so quick to condemn others for their mistakes, or their sins. Instead help those in need, guide those who sin, and be a light for them. “Go forth and sin no more.” He tells her. He shows her kindness and empathy. We must learn to love the sinner, hate the sin. We must learn to hold everyone in our hearts and spread the gospel.

If we spent as much time spreading the word of God to those around us, as we do looking upon others with contempt, imagine how many lives we could touch with the word of God. If we spent as much time in self-reflection as we spend criticizing others, we would have a far better walk with God. We need to take that gaze and turn it inward and then we will find we might not like what we see. Once the gaze is on ourselves we can better ourselves to have a far better walk with Jesus. The only judgment that will ever matter is that of the Lord, and that in which the Lord sees within us. If we are pure in heart, and faithful to the word of God we will find our actions will become pleasing. We should walk and talk in the reflection of Christ. We must learn that in all places, and to all people we are loving and compassionate. Do not seek conflict, and do not think you know what’s best for everyone. Find your faith that in all things God is working behind the scenes, and things will always work out to glorify our God. Before you judge be sure to walk that mile in someone else’s shoes. Then, you may understand what they are going through.

 

 

 

 

 

When the Struggles Comes

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When the Struggles Comes

Bad things happen to everyone, that’s a fact that is undeniable. The common saying is ‘why do bad things happen to good people?’ The fact is, no matter who you are, or how good of a person you are, no matter the good deeds you do, the lives you touch or save, you are not immune from the Devil, or the Devil’s impact or influence. Bad things happen because of Sin entering the world. People who sin affect those around them, and sin has a way of snowballing downhill. When the bad things happen there’s only a few ways to look at it, A: what did I do to bring this upon myself. If you were not the cause of the bad thing, then move onto B: What did someone else do around me to cause this? The final choice if neither A nor B is choice C: Usually medically related and we don’t have a good answer why babies get cancer, or why a mother dies early in life, we just don’t know the bigger plan or purpose. The simple fact is, we are always being bombarded by sin all around us, and at some point in our lives, just like the big earthquake, the big one will hit. What have you done to prepare for it, and how will you handle when it does?

Everyone has a story, and that story is unique and special. No matter what trials you’ve been through, what trauma’s, or even the joys and travels you’ve experienced, you are what your history has made you. No one person is less or more important. Everyone we encounter will have an effect on our lives, and everyone we encounter will have an equal affect. Though the effect we have changes with each person we meet, we need to realize not everyone will appreciate you, accept you, or even like you, but what really matter above all else, is that God accepts you. What can we learn from the experiences of others? I think we’ve become a society that shy’s away from embracing the suck. We shy away from our traumas because it hurts; it’s painful to think about, and sometimes even more so to talk about. What impact could we have on others if we shared our experiences instead of running away from them? I know for me reliving my trauma’s has never been a joy, and sometimes they keep me up at night. While I am still struggling to find my way, I realize that no matter how low I feel, I have to lift my worries, my concerns and my pain to the Lord.

We naturally shy away from things that make us uncomfortable, but I think the biggest tragedy is when we push people away who are the ones going through the tough time. There are instances I can understand when we walk away from someone, such as a person who takes and takes, who brings negativity by abuse or cruelty. Those kinds of people it can be unhealthy to keep them around. We never turn our backs on them, but we must also protect ourselves. The difference is when we push someone away who is legitimately going through a hard time in their life that isn’t of their own doing, or even if it is, someone who’s trying to make it right by actively trying to change their situation. When we cut contact or ties to rid ourselves of the negative vibe we are actively going against God’s command. Galatians 6:2 “2 Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” When we are in need, when we are enduring pain and suffering we should be able to turn to our brothers and sisters to be lifted up, to help us bare the weight of the cross we carry. Likewise we are told to bear those burdens, 1 Thessalonians 5:11 “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.” A persons hardships are a blessing and when we survive the flame we will see the fruit that is made. When we realize there is always a bigger picture and when we can use our tragedies to lift up those who come after us, we will continue to spread the will and love of God.

We don’t want to be someone who always focuses on the negative, but we must understand that the negative does happen. We must learn to listen with the heart and embrace those who seek us to help carry their cross. Do we turn them away in their time of need? Do we lift them up with encouragement, or do we tear them down even further? Truth is truth and facts are facts, and we must learn to listen with open ears, and open hearts. We cannot push people away in need. We must respect the natural order of things and realize that hardships come to all. If your number hasn’t come up yet it will. Pain comes to all it’s just a matter of time. Who will be there for you when your number’s pulled?

When the struggle comes you will learn who your true friends are, and who’s a fair weather friend. You will find yourself struggling from time to time, but fear not, the Lord is always with you. Matthew 11:28 “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” The Lord will never forsake us and even in the darkest of days, the fiercest of storms, we need to know and remember the God who created us and Loves us unconditionally. God who is always watching over us will always provide to us what we need, when we need it. God will also give to us the people who we can count on to be there for us. We may not see it sometimes, and we may not want to, but our will, our wish, or our own desires may not fall within the will of God. When we walk a different path from God we will often miss out on our blessings. Have faith and see the joys in the blessings we are given. Love and friendship are a rare thing sometimes. It’s so easy for us stupid humans to take that for granted. I know I have taken my blessings for granted and when they were taken away from me, it crushed me, nearly destroyed me, and rebuilding from nothing is far worse then realizing what’s there and embracing the joy of our beautiful gifts that come from our Abba (father). God will rebuild our lives when it crumbles, but we must remain faithful, and loyal to the word. Never give up hope for as long as you draw breath, as long as there is strength in your heart, hope is eternal. Tomorrow may be the change you were waiting for, and perhaps, if you’re lucky, that change may come today when you least expect it. Don’t let your pain rule over you. Don’t let your sorrow blind you from the truth in front of you. You’re not alone, not today, not tomorrow, not ever. Love will always find you.

 

 

Find your Place

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Find your Place

I’ve had a lot of people tell me lately how lost they are. It’s not easy when you feel like you’re floundering around in the open sea. The feeling of being in the ocean alone, in the darkness of the night, bouncing around, not sure what’s going to happen to you, if you’ll be alright, or how you’re ever going to make it. Sometimes the truth doesn’t make it any easier. “Neo, sooner or later you’re going to realize just as I did that there’s a difference between knowing the path and walking the path.” (Morpheous) When we are in a place of pain, it can be hard to think straight. When we are lost in the woods it’s hard to tell that the path is just next to us. When we are walking aimlessly and lost sometimes it takes a new perspective. From a birds eye view you can easily see the path of the maze, but when you’re walking inside of it, it can be scary, and unforgiving. The lost can be scared, and when we don’t know where to go, fear can be overwhelming. Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare[a] and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Hope springs eternal, and sometimes what we need is right in front of us all along.

Go The Distance, By: Micheal Bolton
I have often dreamed of a far off place
Where a hero’s welcome would be waiting for me
Where the crowds would cheer, when they see my face
And a voice keeps saying this is where I’m meant to be
I’ll be there someday, I can go the distance
I will find my way if I can be strong
I know every mile would be worth my while
When I go the distance, I’ll be right where I belong

When we’re lost and we are in seek of something, or someone there’s something we have to remember. 1 Peter 5:7 “casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.” We spend so much time allowing our anxieties to rule our lives, but what if we spend even a fraction of that time worrying about our path with God? We know that scripture tells us that we shouldn’t worry because God’s grace and control is over everything. We must learn to have trust and faith, and let go of our worries. Isaiah 41:10 “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” The Lord will strengthen us when we are weary from our journey. When we thirst we need only to go to the living water of life.

I have found that goals are important in our walk. When I am lost I first turn to God and pray for guidance. Then I sit down and I pen out my goals, my wants, my passions, and after I write down how to get there. Where do I start, and what path do I take? While I realize penning out your life doesn’t exactly seem practical it forces you to think and realize what’s possible and what’s not. Brainstorming is an important aspect of life, and when we take the time to put it out there, we may very well stumble onto what we were looking for all along. 1 Corinthians 10:31 “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” If we are following God in our heart then the world will be a better place. If you put a little love in your heart, and you follow that love, follow the love of what God has planned for you to good work, and you’ll find your path. I know a guy who can sculpt wood so well it’s unbelievable, and he does it to help the healing process for veterans who’ve passed on. I know people who can sing, and dance, and draw, and when we focus on our gifts, our talents, and use them to glorify God the rest will come. While I’ve yet to find my place in this world, I’m starting to get the bigger picture. I know it’s not easy to change jobs, or to leave something you’ve done for so long, but I know that although change is hard, sometimes it’s needed. Change can be scary, and just like the maze you never know what’s lurking in the dark, but prepare mind, body, and soul, and you can face off against any monster or demons that may be lurking around the corner. With God on your side you cannot be stopped from the inevitable outcome. We learn from failure, and that’s when we grow the most. Don’t be afraid to take a chance just because you may fail. We need to fail in order to learn life’s greatest lessons. Failure is okay as long as you don’t stay down when you get punched. Learn to take life by the horns and fight back. This is the only life you get, so go out there and make the best of it.

Lord, I feel the storm raging inside and I don’t know where to go. Lord I feel the darkness and it scares me. The journey seems folly and I can’t find my way. Lord save me from my sorrow, save me from my pain, save me from my loneliness that plagues me. Lord my Lord, the world has hurt me, and I don’t know what else to do. The storms so loud in my head I can’t hear you, but I know you can hear me. Lord my Lord, guide me and protect me. Please my God end this storm and show me the sun again. The pain inside is deep and I can’t feel the pain anymore, I just feel numb. I cry and I cry, and I know you hear me in this storm. My God my God please hear me now, please watch over me and guide me to where I’m meant to be. You made me and I know you have a purpose and although I can’t see it, please release me from this pain. If this is punishment please forgive me. If this is a test, please show leniency. Please my God show me the way through this storm that I’ve been in so long now. My God you are wonderful, and giving, kind, and true, I trust My Lord, I trust in you. Amen