Tag: the storm

Holding On Too Tight

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Holding On Too Tight

In the movie Top Gun, (spoilers ahead) Goose dies after a tragic training accident. Maverick is stricken with guilt and remorse and can’t move forward. He’s told by Viper, “You gotta let him go.” We often hold on so tightly to the things in this life, we struggle to move forward. I’ve seen this with the death of friends, relatives, loosing jobs, etc. I’ve seen what holding on does to people, and I’ve watched as it destroyed lives. On the flip side I’ve also seen what holding onto power does to you. The Bible is littered with Kings and Stewards that abused their power, and God showed them the arrogance of their ways.

2 Chronicles 10:6-11“6 Then King Rehoboam took counsel with the old men,[a] who had stood before Solomon his father while he was yet alive, saying, “How do you advise me to answer this people?” 7 And they said to him, “If you will be good to this people and please them and speak good words to them, then they will be your servants forever.” 8 But he abandoned the counsel that the old men gave him, and took counsel with the young men who had grown up with him and stood before him. 9 And he said to them, “What do you advise that we answer this people who have said to me, ‘Lighten the yoke that your father put on us’?” 10 And the young men who had grown up with him said to him, “Thus shall you speak to the people who said to you, ‘Your father made our yoke heavy, but you lighten it for us’; thus shall you say to them, ‘My little finger is thicker than my father’s thighs. 11 And now, whereas my father laid on you a heavy yoke, I will add to your yoke. My father disciplined you with whips, but I will discipline you with scorpions.’”

Had Rehoboam took the counsels advice and lowered the taxes and spoke kindly to them; the people would have loved him forever. Sadly he turned to his friends, who were Godless sinners, and he followed their advice. The whole of the nation rose up in violent rebellion forcing the King to flea. How we hold onto our principles, which may not even be Godly. We are stubborn and we are prideful. We ourselves our sinners, but how rarely do we actually seek and follow the counsel of Godly advisors in our lives? We turn to power and greed instead of the Lord. We’ve all heard the saying, “Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.”Which for most I’d say that’s true. We look at most of the Kings and Lord throughout history, not even just in the Bible and we can see how power grows paranoia, and with it, cruelty. Scripture is full of this, and we saw Kings like Harod, and how his rule was terrifyingly brutal. The events in 2ndChronicles highlights two major points. 1stpower is dangerous if we remove God from our presence. 2ndseeking wise Godly counsel is important because without it Sin has a way of interfering in making the right decisions. Both of these are important not just in positions of influence, but also our everyday lives.

When we are leaders within our household especially men, what kind of leader are we? Do we run our house with an iron fist? Do we hold on so tightly that no one has any room to breathe? Remember the other well known saying, because it’s just as important, “With great power comes great responsibility.” (Spiderman) It’s important that we allow the creative mind to grow and prosper. The innovations to all aspects of life is so important because it allows for personal growth. We are not just drones to be bossed around or controlled. Often times in home or our work environments and overbearing individual may eventually push everyone under them to leave abruptly because they feel suffocated. This kind of leadership doesn’t usually allow for fresh innovative ideas or creativity to flourish. They are close-minded, and often fail to recognize others for their achievements. Negative reinforcement is rarely affective and should be used sparingly, but with micro managers, it’s the first go to for most. Same thing applies with parents who are that way.

We see in children who are raised in overly strict homes, the first taste of freedom they receive, they are more likely to get themselves into trouble. So how do we realize we’re holding on to tightly? Well, the first thing we need to do is evaluate our words. When we talk to those around us do our words edify them? There is a difference between correcting bad behavior and being controlling. We must remember, we are to train up a child in Christ. So when he or she is older they shall not depart from it. But we as adults don’t like the idea of being told what to do. We don’t like the idea of God pushing us or correcting us. We must learn respect and that’s for everyone. God may move our course by putting someone in our path who will correct our bad behavior, and if we are to grow, we should be receptive of ideas, and not so quick to dismiss them. We must have faith that God is always trying to teach us, so we need to let go of the reigns a little and let God drive, and we need to let go of some control in order to take a good look around. If you let power drive you, next thing you know, you’ve snapped your fingers and half the universe is gone.

 

To All: I want to thank each and every one of you who read my posts. For those of you who are regulars my heart goes out to you in deep gratitude. For those who are new, I’d like to thank you for taking the time to read my work. As a token of my appreciation, I’d like to share a free 30 day trial to a travel shopping website. Use the promo code, and take a look. 

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Also, I will be on vacation for a few days. My next post will likely be Sunday the 20th. In the mean time, please feel free to go back and read older posts. Comments are always welcome. 

Got the Blues

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Got the Blues

Psalm 42:9-11“I say to God, my rock: “Why have you forgotten me? Why do I go mourningbecause of the oppression of the enemy?” 10 As with a deadly wound in my bones, my adversaries taunt me, while they say to me all the day long, “Where is your God?” 11 Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.”

 Have you ever been stuck and you don’t know where to go? Have no fear for God has a plan. Even David a man after Gods own heart felt deep depression and he was King of a nation. He had wealth, power, women, friends, and yet depression still taunted him like a splinter. We will have feelings come and go. Depression is often from a chemical imbalance, not a lack of faith. There are ways to combat depression and it starts in the word. We must study the word but we must practice what we hear and learn. If we hear but not do, it’s meaningless. James 1:22-24 “But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. 23 For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. 24 For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like.” We must always pray but do. We cannot sit and just expect something to change. This isn’t to be confused with having patience. Patience is a state of mind, moving carefully, strategically. Isaiah 26:3-4“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. 4 Trust in the Lord forever, or the Lord God is an everlasting rock.” We must have peace in our minds, and put our faith and trust in all things in the Lord. If we start saying things like, “this problems to small for God to worry about.” Or “This problems to big, God can’t help me with this.” We don’t understand God.

Depression can come for anyone of us. It’s a silent assassin that attacks from the darkness in our minds. It’s destroyed homes, families, friendships, and is completely indiscriminant. Attacking your mood, your body, your joy, it leaves destruction in its wake. The devastation of depression is very real and very tangible. When bad things happen because of your depression, it can pile more negativity and often makes matters worse. Let me tell you though, there is hope and it’s your for the taking.

The first thing to do is seek medical attention. The mind is as fragile as any bone and when a trauma happens it’s important to do the same triage as any other injury. We all suffer from pain and doubts. We all have insecurities, but where there is pain, there is also hope. Never forget the saving power of Christ. Never forget where true peace comes from. Jesus Christ is the rock in which we build our foundation.

Remember the Lord is with you, in that foxhole. When the war comes to your front door the Lord forever stand by your side. Deuteronomy 31:8“8 It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” When your heart cries to the Lord, do not feel abandoned if your prayers aren’t answered as fast as you’d like. In God’s time and in God’s way He will give you what you need. Not necessarily what you want. Psalm 34:17“When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles.”

 I think one big thing we do when we’ve got the blues is push everyone away. We say no one knows us, or understands our pain. We push away and we stay in the anguish. We must learn to use every resource God gives us because it’s a gift from God. God created people to understand the mind, who understands how to fix cars, who understands the human heart, and thus gives us people we need to get better. At the top of all things we need is Jesus Christ. We are nothing without Christ, and we cannot truly find what we seek without Him. We can try, but we will always fail. We will find temporary fixes, solutions, but they are worldly and thus will eventually fail us. Find peace in the Lord and watch as He gives us exactly what we need. Just because it seems like all the odds are against you, and just because it doesn’t seem like there’s anyway to win the battle, never stop fighting. With God on our side even when it’s 1000 to 1, we have the sovereign of the universe on our side, so never give up.

Freedom Hymm, By: Austin French

I push, I pull

Go back and forth finding myself pounding on a locked door

I try to make it out alone without your help

But I know I’ll never win this war

I can never be, never be, free without you

I can never be, never be, me without you

This is the sound of chains breaking

This is the beat of a heart changing

This is a song of a soul forgiven

This is my freedom hymn

This is my freedom hymn, my freedom hymn

This is my freedom hymn, my freedom hymn

I breathe the air of freedom in knowing my life

Is better off in Your hands

The past is gone, what’s done is done

Now I’m alive

And I’m never gonna look back

I can never be, never be, free without you

I can never be, never be, me without you

 

 

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Baby Don’t Hurt Me No More

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Baby Don’t Hurt Me No More

Hebrews 11:1-3“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. 2 For by it the people of old received their commendation. 3 By faith we understand that the universe was created by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things that are visible.” We walk by faith because our eyes deceive us. We walk by faith because sometimes we have nothing else. When the world is tops turby and we cannot see, we must trust in the Lord to deliver us. Wherever God has us go we must trust our divine purpose. More then trust the where, is the why. It’s hard, and we often cry out in pain, and we beg it to stop, but in the words of Captain James T. Kirk. “I need my pain!” (The Final Frontier) 

Pain comes to all who walk this Earth. Pain is an inevitablility that we don’t like to think about, but it’s an undeniable reality. Since the fall of Eden in Genesis 3: 19b“till you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken: for you are dust, and to dust you shall return.”And further Genesis 3:24“24 He drove out the man, and at the east of the garden of Eden he placed the cherubim and a flaming sword that turned every way to guard the way to the tree of life.”God said we would suffer for food for what we have we must forever work hard, Genesis 3:6-7.It wasn’t just sin that entered the world with the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge, it was also evil. Now it must be understood that evil existed prior to the fall from Eden. This is seen in the conversation between Satan and Eve. Sin is the gateway to evil in many ways. It’s largely in our own pain comes. When selfish desire out weighs love, people get hurt. When we no longer take into account how our actions affect others, people close to us can get hurt.

In my personal life I have often asked Abba to deliver me from my pain. I have gone to Him in prayer, and begged for absolution. I have often wondered how long I would be made to wait. How I could get to where I needed to be, so I could walk on the right path? I’ve come to realize perhaps my path is to wait. Perhaps what I desire most hasn’t come into my life yet because whomever it is may not be ready in their walk. Realizing this, and trying to look at the bigger picture of life as a Chess game, I realize that in order to mount an attack, or even a defense, pieces need to be moved to the right place, and that doesn’t happen all at once. So I now sit, more patient in my self, and more trusting of the greatness that is God’s plan. Waiting is always the worst and hardest part, especially for those personality types that feel they have to be moving, doing things in order to get what they want.

Being hurt in a relationship is hard. When it seems a love has been destroyed by lust and lies and others sins, it’s impossible not to feel pain. I have a secret for you. Pain can be managed and will diminish in time. When we put our faith in God and trust a path, we can begin to heal. Forgiveness is a big part of healing, but also a major roll in relationships. Without forgiveness, scores are kept, and when arguments ensue that thing you forgot to do 6 years ago is now being used as a weapon. When we feel wounded or trapped we as humans like to lash out with insults designed to cut the deepest. If you don’t want to hurt anymore, I’m sorry to say there’s no quick fix. I recently knew someone that was going through a divorce. They thought they were ready to move forward, and I was sure to ask multiple times if they were ready for that, and every time was a yes. Sadly when the time came and they were connecting with someone they met, the cold feet, fear, and doubt crept in. they bowed out abruptly, and sadly leaving hurt feelings behind.

We may not be able to avoid pain from others all the time, not if we want to actively engage in human relationships. We can however be more careful with whom we get close to. When living in sing actively, it’s like playing hot potato with a grenade. It’s going to go off and anyone in the area will be affected. Ownership of the grenade doesn’t matter anymore because it affects everyone around. Much of our anguish is brought on by our own decisions. When I worked security at a local mall I often saw teenage girls crying in the office waiting for local law enforcement. They were caught shop lifting and now they were going to face those consequences. If you don’t want the pain and embarrassment perhaps doing sinful things isn’t for you.

Our paths change with every decision we make. Our choices are the rudder of our ship. When we sin in a big way we are thrown off course in a big way, but it’s because we threw the wheel knocking ourselves off course. If someone else sins it’s like being hit by a wave. Of course the bigger their sinful choice the bigger the wave. No matter the impact we are still captain of our own ships. We choose how we live our lives by the decisions we make. How we deal with the storms when the come, is still on us, and how well we manage our own ship. While a storm may damage your ship, Jesus says to ‘not to be afraid, for the Lord is with you.’ Do not doubt but be courageous in your walk. Trust in the Lord to lead you wherever you are meant to be. You may travel to the ends of the Earth and fight mighty battles, but god is with you. Do not get stuck in the pain. Instead learn to forgive and keep marching on. Do not grow weary in your grief instead turn that into motivation. Embrace the pain because you must face it to deal with it. One day the pain of this world will end and the day Jesus calls you home. Genesis 15:1“After these things the word of the Lord came to Abram in a vision: “Fear not, Abram, I am your shield; your reward shall be very great.” Let God be your shield, your protection, your rock, your foundation.

 

 

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Setbacks

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Setbacks

“Make a plan, execute the plan, expect the plan to go off the rails, throw away the plan”(Captain Cold)The path we follow and the plans we lay, one brick at a time on that yellow brick road, can only go so far so long as God wants us to follow that path. I don’t know what to say exactly except Captain Cold was a wise, wise man. I have laid the foundation to walk and expecting I knew my plan, but God had other plans. While I can’t say I understand, because Lord knows I don’t, I now have to throw away the old plan, and begin the research for a new one. I can’t say with any level of honesty I’m not hurt by recent events. Although that new job started off rough, it was just starting to smooth out, and I was excited for the prospects that by the end of the year I’d be able to follow through with my home buying goals. Now, I must figure out a new plan, and hope I am able to remain positive.

I’m not trying to make excuses but I find this kind of set back frustrating. Largely I am annoyed because I just can’t seem to go 10 feet without being knocked back 6. I have given my all to the Lord, and I am preaching and teaching every chance I get. I’m not engaging in reckless behaviors. I’m going to church regularly, and yet I just can’t seem to get to a point where I am in the life I have always dreamt of. I know that God has a plan for me, and my faith tells me to be strong, but the personality type doesn’t do well without closure, without answers. I am a logical planner and I need to know the why when something fails because without the why I don’t know what it is I’m to learn. I have struggled in the past with my faith and trusting in the Lord to lead me out of the struggle. I’ve never stopped believing in God, but I won’t lie, God and me haven’t always seen eye to eye. Obviously I have never won any arguments. I feel a little like Bruce trying to figure out why I keep rolling snake eyes, getting the worst of the luck, and having plan after plan fail in front of me. The future is as blurry to me now as it ever has been. All I can do now is dry my eyes, tighten my boots, and get ready to start a new trek.

Isaiah 35:8“A highway will be there, a roadway, And it will be called the Highway of Holiness The unclean will not travel on it, But it will be for him who walks that way, And fools will not wander on it.” Even though I wander, and I don’t know my path, I trust in my God. That does not take away the pain, but it means I can keep going. I feel like anyone else, and I have my questions, and sometimes I question God, but He’s always understanding. 2 Corinthians 5:7“7 for we walk by faith, not by sight.”  Though I don’t know my direction I walk strong and tall. I’ve got pain by my Lord heals my wounds. I walk in the darkness and I cannot see my way, but I feel the warmth of Jesus as the light guides my way. I don’t know where I am, and I don’t know where I’m going, but I know my way home. My savior promised a paradise waiting for me one day. I believe I am saved in the blood of Christ, and I know that no matter where my steps take me, one day I’ll reach that golden finish line. Isaiah 43:2 “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they will not overflow you When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, Nor will the flame burn you.”

Today I don’t feel strong. Today I don’t feel courageous, so my God give me faith. My God give me courage. My God show me the way so I may walk without fear. My God today I feel alone, and today I am lost, so my God my God please stay with me tonight. I feel broken, and I don’t know where to turn. I have walked through the valley, and I have pain coming from every direction, and I feel as if the whole world is standing against me today. My God you protect me when I face my battles. My God your love is pure light, and my God I need faith to trust in you tonight. I feel the storm it’s all around. I know you have the power to calm the waters, to be fear for the storm, and you could make it all go away. My God can you stay with me, I will lift my hands, I will praise you, I will worship you. Tonight I’m on my knees and my tears flow to the ground, and I need you with me today.

If you feel like me, and the world is just heavy, take a moment to step back and pray. Every day we need to remember that attacks will come and if not towards us, then those whom we care for. We must remain vigilant and keep the word in our hearts. The world is designed to break us, to tear us down, and pull us away from Christ.  “Why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.”  (Alfred, Batman Begins)We will have setbacks in our life, and we will fall. We will encounter struggles we never imagined, and we will face a world we don’t recognize. Our true strength doesn’t come from our own determination, but from the Lord above. Our true purpose is to Love our God and to do the works God would have us do. “Whatever you do, remember that. You’re going to make a difference. A lot of times it won’t be huge, it won’t be visible even. But it will matter just the same. Don’t do it for praise or money, that’s what I want to tell you. Do it because it needs to be done. Do it to make your world better.” (Ed Brubaker, Gotham Central, Book One: In the Line of Duty) Every day you wake is a new day to get out there an make a difference. Quitting is letting the Devil win, so keep pushing, keep moving, keep fighting, and don’t ever doubt who’s in your corner.

Don’t Be Something You’re Not

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Don’t Be Something You’re Not

My dog Cooper lies in the sun like a lizard. He lays on the blacktop and soaks up the rays. He reminds me of a lizard under a heat lamp. If it’s just a little cool he shivers. He’s a big, thick dog and you would think he’d be hot, but no, he embraces the high North Carolina temperatures and humidity. My other dog Riley hates the heat. She takes after me, embracing the cool, and stays out of the high humidity. A lot of Christians are like this. They claim to know Jesus but truly, if they understood what happened on Calvary’s cross and truly respected that sacrifice their actions would be so deplorable. If you’re going to call yourself a Christian, at least act like it.

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People often try to adapt to their surroundings. I’ve seen friends change in a day because who they were, depended largely on what group of friends they were hanging out with. When people change their behavior to be accepted they are putting on a mask and lying to themselves. What is your true self? Who are you really? For myself, I’ve always had a strong desire to fit in. I’ve struggled for years to find the place where I belong. It’s not easy for some people. Recently I took a test to learn a little more about myself. I wanted to be able to examine and study who I am and why. In the 16 different personality types I’m what’s known as an INTJ or also known as an Architect. Apparently it’s one of the more rare personality types. For the purposes of this post we will focus on relationships.

“They spend a tremendous amount of time and energy trying to understand why and how things go wrong, especially if they’ve devoted themselves to the relationship, and they certainly hurt deeply when things fall apart.”(16 Personality Types/ Architect)We Architects prize open and honest communication. While I do stand a part a bit from the average INTJ, I’m a bit more centered with my emotions, except for painful ones. This type gave me the ability to compartmentalize very well. My downfall is in the negative feelings in life. I tend to hurt more, but hide it when bad or traumatic things happen to me. My moral compass is in Jesus, so when the profile says we architects do what’s right, to me Jesus is what’s right. Now let me stop for a moment. I’m not saying I’m perfect, not by a long shot, but what I am saying is that’s what I aspire to be. I will almost always choose to do what’s right, based on known facts. I tend not to make many emotional decision. Because I use facts to make a decision, sometimes that comes across as impulsive, or that I haven’t moved to quickly into something. The truth is, I haven’t. I have on occasion gone against my better judgment in the attempts to give someone the benefit of the doubt. Needless to say, had I listed to my younger self, I could have very well saved me from a lot of heartache.

In Relationships I look for tangible connections. I desire to grow in my social life, however I want deeper connections, not surface fluff. One main addition to the contrary of emotional support average for INJJ, I have had life push me into a position where It’s vital I am empathetic and understanding. When it comes to helping others I’m far better at helping others then myself. One interesting trait for the INTJ is our sarcasm, dark humor and our story telling. I suppose that’s why I got into writing. “Architects have exacting expectations for intellectual prowess, uncompromising honesty and a mutual desire to grow and learn as sovereign individuals. Architects are gifted, bright and development-oriented, and expect and encourage their friends to share this attitude.” (16 Personality Types/ Architect)

 In My career I have found I work best either alone or in small groups. One thing I’ve found to be true is when I look at my supervisor and see a lack of maturity or incompetence, or their style to be ineffective I loose respect for them. This is a common quality in the INTJ. Very rarely have I ever rebuilt what was lost. I always want to grow, evolve, and improve upon situations and never do I settle for becoming stagnant or complacent. I have always said “If I can’t trust you with the freedom and space to do the job your own way, you wont’ be here.” I am not a micro manager. I expect the task to get done, to be done well, and right the first time. I care little how that’s accomplished. I realize we are all different and our creativity and resourcefulness is important to who we are. I strive for efficiency and expect my subordinates to do the same. “They have the ability to both develop and implement a plan for everything, including their own personal growth, moving forward with the strength of will that can both amaze and frighten those around them.” (16 Personality Types/ Architect)

I have always tried to fit into what I believed was the accepted norm. I look at Chandler from ‘Friends’ as kind of being like me. I am a joker, but a fierce friend. I value a small close relationship with people. I value people I can have deeper conversations beyond the basic surface stuff. I live by a simple code, live life as Christ would have you. Love and respect those with whom you come into contact. Be understanding with an open mind and try to live in a judgment free zone. I value truth, openness, honesty, and compassion for others. Respect is to be earned and needs constant effort. We are all people created differently by God, and for a different reason. We have different passions, different opinions, different lives, but we all have one thing in common. We are all Human Beings that sin. We are all saved under the blood. Galatians 3:28 “28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave[a] nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” We shouldn’t try to chase the love and admiration of other. Be the best you, you can be, that was created by God for a particular purpose. Galatians 5:22-25“22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. 24 And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit.” We must assess our gifts and find our path in God. Seek wise counsel when needed. Proverbs 11:14“Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” We will always fail when we don’t trust God’s path for us. Do not try to bulldoze your way through a problem. Pray, retreat, ponder, seen counsel, and trust in the Lord. Psalm 23:2-3“He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters.[a] 3 He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness[b] for his name’s sake.” Be who God intended you to be and stop trying to be what you’re not.

 

 

 

Patiently Waiting

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Patiently Waiting

When Change happens unexpectedly we don’t always understand why. We can’t always see the reason for it, and we can only hope and lean back on faith to except what’s happened. We see in scripture over and over how patience is rewarded. We see the need to trust in God’s plan. We see in Galatians 4:21-22 the author is talking about the repercussions of not following the plan God lays out for us. Abraham was told he would sire children, but as his age increased he became more and more skeptical. He became impatient and took his wife hand madden into his bedchamber and she became pregnant. His actions once outside the will of God had dire consequences that have shaped the known world as we see it today. Eventually he would fall back to God and the promise made to him was kept. Him and his wife did have children.

As it seems opportunities come into my life and leave just as abruptly, it’s a hard life longing for something so deeply and being told by god the time isn’t right. Watching as people come and go and yet as much as it pains me to see them leave, I am not and have always been powerless to stop it. As the rising tide of the flood comes it’s inevitable and we cannot stop it. We are powerless to stop the approaching tornado and the destruction left in it’s wake. We are told the trials would come and to be prepared for them. As I’ve noted there is a difference in training and then the actual mission. Before every mission we had a brief but rarely did the mission go exactly according to plan. We always had to adapt and overcome. We train to know how to react when the plan flies off the rails. Often time disaster strikes when we loose our patience and act impulsively. Life is not a sprint, yet in our time, everyone is in a hurry to get everywhere. We always want everything right away. The problem with patience is when you’re forced to play the long game, it can feel like an eternity when it’s something you desire most.

I’d say one of the hardest moments is when you know something wonderful has come into your life, and when the Devil destroys that hope. For me it feels like the Devil’s games have been never ending and designed to break my hope and my spirits. I won’t lie, the latest attack has taken a horrible toll for me. Just when life seemed to be turning around, and hope seemed stronger then it’s been in over a year, the Devil’s whispers, and fear caused a cascade failure, and everything went like Chernobyl. Sadly the Devil is meddling in my life and just won’t let me have any peace. Philippians 4:6-7 “do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” It’s been difficult for me to follow what I know to be true. The pain left from disappointment is so strong, it’s hard to remain focused on the big picture, and remember that God’s still in control, and his will, will be done, and eventually it’ll work out. Philippians 4:11-14 “11 Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. 12 I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. 13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me. 14 Yet it was kind of you to share[a] my trouble.” Paul knows the difficult road some of us were bound to endure. In his ministry he saw his on share of hardships from beatings, to shipwrecks, to what’s likely a physical ailment that plagued him for a long time. In all things though, and in all areas of his travels, and through all the hardships, he writes that he has found peace in knowing God is still in control, and nothing in this life can remove his salvation in the blood of Jesus Christ.

We must remember even in our impatience a Thanksgiving turkey will not cook faster because we try to will it to happen. The best things in life often take longer to have. We can try to speed up the process, but if we try to go against God’s plan or his wish for us, what we obtain will undoubtedly fail us. The pursuit to contentment starts with faith, prayer, and learning to live more in the moment and take your gaze away from tomorrow.

My Heavenly father, as I watch in disappointment at yet another failure, I lift my plea to you. Please look into my heart and if it be your will, please show me the path to get what I desire most. I have suffered much, and long, and I pray to you to remove this thorn from my side. Please help my broken heart mend, and provide me the courage and strength to keep up the fire, to face another day as I struggle with shame and guilt. My God please hear my prayer and rescue me from the darkness of despair. In your Holy Name, Amen.

Giving Yourself Away

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Giving Yourself Away

It starts of small, just once, just a little bit, and that’s when it takes hold. We give up one small piece of our principles, and then another, and before long the black and white becomes gray. The fall doesn’t always happen quickly, sometimes it’s a slow moving enemy that creeps along scrapping at your heart a little at a time.

We often stand on our principles determined not to give in to temptations of this fallen world. We see the fall happening all around us. We see public figures from government to Hollywood getting caught with their principles around their ankles. We see politicians accepting bribes, actors turning to drugs and more and more sex candles rock the new like never before. We have watched as our nation endures the slow fade in what is now accepted on this earth and ignoring the once proud biblical principles we once stood strong on.

We face temptations and the first time we tell ourselves ‘It’s okay, just this once.” We have taken the step into the quicksand. Sin can be described many different ways. Sometimes a major event can alter perceptions, but I like to think those circumstances are more rare. I think sin is more like boiling a frog. The water is cool when the frog is dropped in so the frog doesn’t notice anything is wrong. As the water heats (as sing grows and spreads) by the time the frog realizes anything is wrong it’s too late, the damage is done. (We find ourselves buried under the mound of sin.)

So many marriages that end due to affairs you see the near identical timelines. “It started off very innocent and we were just friends.” The slow draw of sinful lust can creep in untamed yet slowly as to not draw attention to the danger ahead. Most affairs could be snuffed out with a single choice to walk away. The little steps that make the right and wrong to an ambivalence for those their actions may affect. The truth is sin attacks at each of our hearts differently. The choices we made “there’s a price to be paid, people never crumble in a day.”(Slow Fade, Third Day)

I’ve lived with a broken heart twice as I’ve seen thoughts betray a promise made but not kept. I’ve watched the life I had crumble away. The heart was betrayed, lied to by desire, fooled by lust, and choices made destroyed so much more then a home. I’ve seen drugs take hold of people’s lives with the lies and promises that the substance make them feel better. But eventually the affects of the drugs wear off and more is needed. Then more, and before you know it you’re chasing one high to the next unable and unwilling to handle life. What seemed benign at first slowly turned to tear down the walls of everything you held most dear.

Do now allow the darkness to grab hold. Don’t allow yourself to fall victim to the thoughts that pull you away from Christ. Once down the dark path though hope is never lost, you don’t want the veiled promises. You can’t trust the lies, the whispers from the Devil. The price paid for the retched path is high. “The bill comes due, always.” (Dr. Strange) We don’t need to face those horrible consequences if we stay on the path laid out by Christ. Turn away form lies, and turn away from adultery. Stay away from hate, and don’t give into the fear. We must learn to praise God in the sun, or the rain. We must pray joy, peace, love, but if there’s a storm we must we must pray that no matter where we find ourselves we do it all for the glory of God.

God shines down from heaven today, and no matter what your situation is on this day, raise your hands to the sky, praise Jesus for the life we have. Find hope that the storm will settle, or the meadow is peaceful. Wherever the road takes you today, trust and praise Jesus. While you draw breath there is always hope. Never give up hope on God for the calm waters might be just around the river bend.

Run Barry, Run

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Run Barry, Run

Pain is always going to be apart of life. I was asked recently why bad things happen to good people. I took a moment to contemplate an answer. Eventually I said, “We learn more from our hardships and failures then we do when life is smooth sailing. We cannot truly reach our potential unless we are put to the test.” As most of my readers know I am a super hero graphic novel fan. One thing I like about my favorite heroes is most come through horrible tragedies and rise above. During Flashpoint Paradox Barry Allen runs back in time to save his mother from being murdered. Without living through his tragedy he never grew up to be a hero. Peter parker wouldn’t be Spiderman had it not been for him loosing his parents and Uncle Ben. Bruce Wayne wouldn’t be Batman without loosing his Parents. Most heroes rise above and grow to reach their full and true potential through tragedies.

I have often used the sword metaphor for facing trials and tribulations. In order to make a sword, steel must go through fire. It must undergo a rigorous process of heat and pounding, over and over to remove the imperfections and to make the sword ready to withstand battle. What happens if the sword is not properly tempered? What happens if the sword is taken into battle early? The sword is a soldiers weapon, they rely on it to withstand the rigors of battle. If not properly prepared the sword could break when it’s most needed. When we are forced with grief or tragedy it’s just as important because if we do not face grief or tragedy it can come back to haunt us when it’s least convenient. I recently saw and episode of the Flash where Leonard Snart, AKA Captain Cold told Barry Allen, “You can’t outrun grief.”This actually hit me hard. I’ve always struggled with loss. In my life I’ve always said I was to busy to grieve or deal with the horrible traumas I faced. The problem was eventually my grief caught up to me, but all at once. I thought if I ran long enough I could leave the past behind me. Sadly I couldn’t have been more wrong. “If you don’t confront your feelings, your feelings will confront you.”(Leonard Snart)

Psalm 34:18“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” The beautiful thing about the God on high is it’s something we can count on. If we’re high on life, or down in the deepest pit of despair, Jesus is right with us. We cannot fathom the love God has for us. When we hurt, God hurts but when we are broken, God begins to mend us. Psalm 147:3 “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” When we struggle with the natural progression of our life, all we can do is know that Jesus will be there with us. Our body crumbles and ages, but tomorrow God’s still there waiting on us. Psalm 73:26 “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” If we have Jesus the pains we feel will diminish over time. Trusting in the Lord and having faith in his glory and trust in the plan, we can begin to heal, if we face our hardships.

Isaiah 53:4-6 “Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted 5 But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed. 6 All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned—every one—to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.” When we look at what Jesus did for us, and we think of our grief, can we take ourselves out of our own pain, and realize we aren’t the only ones going through pain. Jesus endured enormous amounts of pain and we think we are good and we don’t deserve it. John14:1“Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God;[a] believe also in me.” If we truly believe in the Lord, then while grief is a natural part of life, it shouldn’t destroy us. When bad, horrible things happen, yes, we all have emotions, and we need to deal with them, face them in a healthy way. Those emotions are given to us for a reason and we have to trust that. But pushing them away like they don’t’ exist, and pretending that everything’s okay when surly it’s not, it’s just a recipe for disaster. In closing I will leave you with this, Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” This is a command, not a suggestion, not a piece of advice, this is from God himself telling us not to give into fear, not to be dismayed by the trials we will face, but to pick ourselves up and carry on. We are told our strength comes from the Lord and the faithful can move a mountain. Death and grief aren’t always tragedies, but even when they are, trust in God’s purpose and have faith that the end of suffering and trials is over, and hopefully they are in a better place. Trust in the Lord and face your struggles head on so one day they don’t knock you to the ground and pound you into the pavement.

 

 

Hello, Is Anyone There?

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Hello, Is Anyone There?

What do we want, what we really, really want? We want attention. We want to feel accepted, and to feel wanted. We want to feel like we are important, and yet in our lives, how often do we make anyone feel important to us? We want to know God’s listening to us, and that God loves us, but how often do you give anything back? How often do you make your decisions based on what would bring glory to God?

When things don’t go your way do you throw a tantrum like a little child? Do you stomp your proverbial feet, and huff and puff? I’m sure at some point we all have. It’s easy to be distracted by life and take our focus away from God. It’s easy to wonder when we will get our blessings, and we expect to be rewarded for a job well done. Even in my own career when I don’t receive adulation I become frustrated and I feel like my skills or experience is being taken advantage of or under utilized.

God wants our attention and if needed He will get your attention, but you probably won’t like how. We must learn to focus our time and energy better. We must learn to take the time to bring glory to the father and trust in his will.

I have walked away along my own path before and when things went badly because I thought I could do it my way, I got frustrated and had a frank conversation with God. We’ll obviously the big guy upstairs gave me the best Red Forman I’d ever seen as I didn’t just get the smack upside the back of the head, but I got the boot too. We can try to do it our way, but don’t get mad when you ignore the warning and stick your finger in a light socket.

We want people to notice us and we often go to great lengths to make noise for people to see us. How many kids get in trouble at school just so someone will notice them? How many mass shooting/suicides are done by those who lived as loners, who wanted people to love them and pay attention to them? The numbers are staggering when we realize that if we just loved a little more, most major tragedies could be avoided.

I say this to you, the only thing that truly matters is the love of the Lord. We can walk with people all day long, but people are cruel, and judgmental, and are often self-centered. The cost for not turning to the Lord can be high, and in most cases much higher then we’re willing to pay. Though we’re not willing to pay it, but when we spend so much time ignoring God can we truly be surprised by the consequences of our own actions? You can spend far less time and energy loving God and walking on God’s terms, then the misery you’ll find yourself in and the effort you’ll spend trying to fix your life when it all goes to Hades. Do it right the first time and God won’t have to smack you on your head. You have attention, but you just need to focus on where it’s coming from. If you don’t feel like you belong keep searching because somewhere, there’s a place you’ll call home. It’s not always easy to find, but God wants you to be around like minded Christian folks. Keep searching and never give up hope. Go outside your comfort zone and put your feelers out and God will lead you where you have to go. You have to have faith. Keep pushing forward and listen to God and you’ll find your way.

Explosive Memories

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Explosive Memories

I try not to think about it most of the time. I remember the sounds, the sights, even the smell of sulfur. I can remember each incident and as much as I try not to think about it, there are days. The struggle for veterans returning home from war can vary differently from one to the next. For me I have spent years facing my demons. Behind every uniform is a story. My story hasn’t ended, but my time in uniform has. The wounds left behind leave scars and those don’t ever go away. I can remember one explosion after another, and from the way it feels as the blast goes through you. I remember the fear I would face while on patrol, trying to stay focused, but in those memories, I sadly brought them home with me. My time in war fundamentally changed me, and because of that, because of how I was changed, I find some days I struggle to enjoy some of the same things other people like.

The other day I was driving to work and found myself in a traffic jam. Most people would perhaps be a little frustrated, but me, there’s a level of fear, and that fear turns to anger. I am terrified of sitting in traffic because I am not in control at all. I am afraid of being caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. I am afraid of the trash on the side of the road. I’m afraid of the crowds I encounter while I’m out in public. I’m afraid of the movie theater. I’m afraid of the mall. I’m afraid of being caught ill prepared. In my life I have spent a lot of time focusing on the what ifs, planning for the emergencies to be as prepared as possible. I have to hope that in the darkness of this world, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Revelation 21:4“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

 John 16:33“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” In my day, I am haunted by the memories of my past. I have struggled to let go, and remember that Christ overcame the world. His blood set me free, and though my trials my be today, my Heaven is tomorrow. Living with PTSD isn’t always easy, but we keep pushing forward. Dealing with the day-to-day strife can lead your heart to feel heavy. We must not focus on the cant’s, or why something is too hard, we need to focus on what we can do. John 14:1“Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me.” Though my past and my grief haunt me, I must thank the Lord for the love and mercy that’s placed upon me every day. Jesus has offered me everything, and I can’t let the pain of yesterday turn my focus. The Devil tries to distract me, lie to me, prey on my weaknesses, and I will admit, some days he gets his claws in and it’s all I can do to push him away. Don’t forget the purposes of our true journey. Keep pushing forward and focus on today, not yesterday.

I think back to the day I was something in my own eyes, and when the tornado struck my life and ruin was left in it’s wake, I think back to how foolish I was to think my happiness could last. I placed my self worth on those around me. I placed my happiness in the hands of others, to include family, friends, and my wife. I trusted all the wrong people, and putting my faith in the world, thinking if I walked the walk, talk the talk, prayed the prayers, that I might be spared the hardships of another divorce or worse. The thing is when you are strong in your faith, the Devil attacks, and he attacks, and he’s relentless to see how long he can push you till you break. How much  can you take before you curse God, turn your back, and walk deeper down the dark path.

No matter the hardships you’ve endured, the horrors you’ve seen, you need to remember who the true enemy is at the end of the day. Put not your faith in man for we are fickle and swayed easily, but put your faith in the Lord for God is never changing, and always we are found in God’s love and grace. The road is long, but the blessings of tomorrow outweigh the pain of today.