The Longest Road
Sometimes God sets us on a path where we walk alone. Not alone in the sense God is not with us, but in a sense where the word friend seems far away, and acquaintance is a stretch. In today’s world where we can facetime, call, text, message, or email, the idea of communication seems foreign. When was the last time friends got together for dinner or lunch? When was the last time you checked on a friend? It seems as time ticks by, the inevitable fall off occurs. I remember a song many years ago, called Friends by John Michael Montgomery.
Friends
Get scattered by the wind
Tossed upon the waves
Lost for years on end
Friends
Slowly drift apart
They give away their hearts
Maybe call you
Now and Then
But you wanna be
Just friends
The truth is, this isn’t just something that happens to ex-couples, but friends in general. I’m curious though, what about in scripture? 2 Timothy 4:16 16 “At my first defense no one supported me, but all deserted me; may it not be counted against them.” Paul here is gracious to not place blame, or even hold a grudge. It’s sad really that he would be left for his defense alone. At some point, we all are. In 2016 when I put that bullet through my shoulder, I felt alone. The truth was, I had people I could have called, but didn’t feel they’d be of much help. I was in crisis and obviously wasn’t thinking straight anyway. Today, while I am not in crisis, I do find myself feeling more and more alone as the weeks go by. Who do I turn to when I feel like I’m fighting these demons daily. Who do I have to help me bare my burdens. The one solace I have is knowing Christs words he spoke to the Apostles are just as relevant for me as they were them. “Lo, I am with you always, even till the end of the age.” Matthew 28:20B. I will admit, while I have grown in my faith, my understanding of scripture, and my trust in God, it’s still hard sometimes seeing Him in my life. In recent months, even when I know God was at work, there has been so much hardship. Sadly, between the hardships, and the mysterious disappearance of those whom I used to have to talk to in my life, I have looked to find empty chairs. I have often heard you should have that one friend you can call at two in the morning and they’d be there no questions asked. Perhaps I just don’t see it, but I don’t believe I have that person.
As I have felt the deepening loneliness since I found out about my father was no longer alive, and the failure of life I feel crushing down upon me. He’s dead and he died without ever knowing me. He died the same year I joined the military. His family knows nothing of me, minus the two people distantly related to him. Even they don’t speak to me. I am left to navigate my feelings, which I have safely locked away in a closet so I don’t have to deal with them right now. With everything going on with my surgery, and complications after it, and the tent having major issues, and not being able to afford to get my own place to live, I feel so many awful, negative emotions, that I struggle to breathe. Recently after having a hard day, I ended up having a panic attack. It had been years since I had one, which of course compounded the negative feelings I was already having about myself. The struggle is very real, and while I know this is all spiritual warfare, the feelings I have are very much real. The question I suppose is the most relevant, is what do I do about it?
Count it all joy, is what James wrote, James 1:2. Sometimes it’s hard to count all trials as joy. When the isolation is very real and the silence is loud, it’s hard to sit down and watch the days tick by, as if I am spending a life sentence in isolated prison. When the only communication you get these days is from people looking for something. How can I be the person people turn to for money? How is it, I am the one with the bleeding heart to help others, when I can’t even help myself? I have been to the darkest of places and back and I know that even though this life is bleak, God is with me. People will fail you, as they have failed me, but the poor reflection of Christ in this world, is not a representation of how good God is. Satan has found a way to isolate me from others, outside of my efforts, and I know that while I do feel the loneliness, and I do see it in the reality that is my life, I stand here strong in my faith, and resolute in my convictions. I see this isolation as a victory over the deceiver as I realize this is his feeble attempt to break my spirits. The more I preach and teach about God, the more I try to interrupt his business, the more he will lash out at me and my family. I’ve stood in absolute darkness alone at the end of my life, and God saw it fit to pull me back from death, and give me a new path. God breathed life back into my broken body, and spared me for a purpose. While I do not know what that may be, I know that I will continue to serve Him, a righteous and Holy God, because He is the only one worthy of praise and worship. Do I feel alone on this road? Sure I do. My phone barely rings, and when it does, it’s mostly people seeking something I don’t have.
When did we become a society where friendship no longer holds any meaning? When did we become a society where we forsake one another and turn to cliché’d excuses. Most of those excuses are “I’ve been so busy”, “I forgot”, “I haven’t seen my messages”. These excuses on the surface seem innocent enough, but in reality, they become the go-to message to lighten the blow of apathy, or negligence. Most people today fall within the two categories. We as a society have become apathetic to the needs of others, or we simply have become neglectful of them. The third option is people just don’t care anymore. Either way you put it, we have become bad at lifting up one another. We’ve become intentionally ignorant so that we would not be drug down by the struggles of others. In my own life I have heard “I just don’t want to be around negativity.” I heard this while I was struggling through an affair my ex-wife had, and I was losing my home, and had major neck surgery all at the same time. Their excuse was that I was being negative. To me, that would be like if Job’s friends stepped out because of what he was going through. Sometimes negative things happen, and people just need support while dealing with it. The truth is today, we as a people, and sadly even as the church, would rather stay out of it, we would rather look the other way, than to stand with someone in their struggles.
Sometimes things happen, and people do leave, for whatever reason. No matter the reason, assuming you’re not the actual cause for it, if you find yourself alone, remember that God is with you, and you do not walk alone. God has sent many angels to be with you, and to help you through. You may not see them, but they are there. God has used angels since the dawn of people, to help them, to minister to them, to reprove them when necessary. God also sends the Holy Spirt to be with you, to dwell inside your heart. You are not alone and while you may not have anyone to talk to in the way of a person, you can always talk to God. We have a misunderstanding today of what prayer is. Praying doesn’t always look like the Lords Prayer
Matthew 6:9-13
9 “Pray, then, in this way:
‘Our Father who is in heaven,
Hallowed be Your name.
10 ‘Your kingdom come.
Your will be done,
On earth as it is in heaven.
11 ‘Give us this day [a]our daily bread.
12 ‘And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
13 ‘And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from [b]evil. [For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.’]
While this is only a template for your prayers, this is simply giving you an outline for your prayers. We can talk to God like we’re talking to anyone else. We can let God know what’s bothering us, what we hope for, what we’re thankful for. Walking alone is like the footprint’s poem. Just because you can’t see God’s footprints doesn’t mean He isn’t with you. We must take a moment and think about this. The sovereign of the universe is right there with you. You cannot see him, but he’s there. God takes time to be with you, to listen to you, to comfort you, and sometimes He sends help from the most unusual ways. Let us hear God, and know that sometimes we do walk the road alone, and no one is with us, but when no one’s with us, that gives us the perfect time to talk to the Lord over all. It’s hard living life without other people in it, but God is never far away.
Be with God, and let God be with you. Rejoice in your blessings, and count them one by one. Sing praises to the Lord even for things we may perceive as bad. We really don’t know good or bad, but God knows. Love God, and love yourself. God made you beautiful and in his own image. He pieced you together in your mothers womb for a purpose. Live your life because it does have meaning, even when you endure hardships. Go in peace and in love. Life is but a journey home, embrace the journey.
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