Walking Judgments

Walking Judgments 7-2-17

As I walk through my building with mud from my boots to my knees I am filled with so many negative judgments of myself. I get the impression the people in the building are staring at me. I imagine what they are thinking, and envision the thoughts of disgust and jokes. I felt insecure and embarrassed by my appearance. The more I walked through the building a second judgment started to creep into my mind. No one noticed, I think to myself. Was that true? Had no one noticed in 7 floors did no one notice my dreadful appearance? Then I try to imagine which one was worse, that fact those who did probably passed negative judgments, or that I am so insignificant at my job that no one would notice at all.

Bad judgments all around swirl in an out of thought with little regard of a purpose. It’s hard going through life always casting judgments around like a snow blizzard falling to the ground. We try and try to squish the uprising before they reach the surface, but always too little too late.

Checking The Facts:

 

  1. I was involved with the rescue of a man who was ejected from his vehicle.
  2. Without going home I was already doing to be 20 minutes late for work
  3. I did a good thing by stopping and helping.
  4. Negative judgments happen and we can’t always change that.

It’s hard to face when we think those thoughts and feelings control our day. The truth is, we often give away so much power to others, and we keep very little for ourselves. The pain we hold onto deep inside is often the reason we give up so much, and allow so much negativity to infect or infest our lives.

Are our biggest self-judgments linked to our biggest fear? I believe the answer is yes. For example my biggest fear is abandonment. When I am dating someone I feel I will not be good enough and they will leave. When I’m working I fear I won’t be good enough at my job, or not be needed at my position. The truth is when it comes to both the judgments of others shouldn’t affect me as much as they do. We obviously know the old saying “sticks and stones my break my bones but names will never hurt me.” We know that’s a crock of crap. We know that words do hurt because were human, and we have feelings. We know that bullying does hurt us, that someone we love when they say cruel things often cut the deepest. The key to overcoming that is repetitive action of telling yourself Jesus loves you, and the judgment of God is the most important thing. We cannot live our lives listening to the lies were told by the world.

Today’s society is obsessed by looks, everything on TV is about looking right, makeup, fashion, and as always TV shows must have the most attractive people on the planet. We watch this worldview all around us and it sinks in and when we look in the mirror we don’t see that perfect image. I myself have struggled with my limitations and even recently as I’ve tried to get back into the dating world, I see myself as a failure. It’s a tough pill to swallow and when it seems there’s so much against you it’s hard not to pass judgments upon yourself. I’m not very good at this myself; I’m not good at keeping a positive attitude about myself. I often think negative thoughts about my looks, my voice, my life, and I often think of myself as a failure in my love life and even my professional life. To top it off as more and more of my close friends are becoming parents I look at my own life and as 7 years with my ex wife came to a close and realizing I still don’t have the family I’ve always prayed for, the children I’ve always wanted, I judged myself to be a failure and I truly felt it deep down into my heart. I realize this isn’t Gods plan for me, and I realize the little voice feeding me the negative emotions, the harmful thoughts are Satan whispering in my ear, and it’s incredibly difficult to ignore.

As I confess my deepest fears, my deepest failings, I don’t do so to gather sympathy, but the opposite, to spread hope. As I have been faced with so much in the last year, and throughout my life, I know that God is still on my side, I know that all these years of pain God’s been there in the trenches with me. “I’ve paid my dues, time after time, I’ve done my sentence but committed no crime. And bad mistakes I’ve made a few. I’ve had my share of sand kicked in my face but I’ve come through… We are the champions, my friends, and we’ll keep on fighting ‘til the end.” We all know the song, we all know Queen’sWe are the Champions’. Let me tell you, as long as we have God on our side, we are the champions of this world, because we will live in Eternity with the creator of all. We will overcome all our trials, our troubles, and we will be dubbed champions over death, if we just allow Christ into our lives. In Christ we will always rise above hate, bigotry, fear, sorrow, loss, and disappointment. We never know what tomorrow will bring. We will always feel the rainbow of emotions, but we will always have help getting through the tough days we WILL have. Have faith in the lord. Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understand. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”

How do you communicate with God?

How do you communicate with God?

For new Christians I’ve heard this question asked many time over, ‘How do I talk to God?’ I’ve always thought of God as an unquantifiable being that deserved the utmost respect. When I talk to God I feel as if I’m talking to an old friend, but the truth is, if we follow scripture we need to remember our place. Philippians 4:6 “Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.” In all things be thankful to God. Thank God for the good and the bad knowing that even in the bad there is hope and there is purpose. We may not understand the purpose but the understanding though it would be nice, isn’t required of us. Luke 11:9 “And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.” Do not mistake this verse. This verse is talking about heaven and the Holy Spirit. The God of all is King over all. We need to remember that when we ask, we ask humbly. God is not Santa Clause and doe not ‘owe’ you anything. We were not owed eternal salvation; it was given, and given at a high cost. If God never gave us anything we ever asked for we would still have more then we deserved in the grace of Heaven.

We as Christians are called to do more then pray. While we do pray for everything under the sun, and not just our galactic wish list, we are supposed to pray for one another. More then just praying for one another we are supposed to confess to one another. James 5:16 “Confess [your] faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.” Part of our communications is talking with and praying for other Christians. We are part of the 3-way call and although our generation rarely uses the phone to ‘TALK’ to anyone, back in the day we used to talk to more then one friend in a conversation over the phone. While no one on this early plane can absolve you of your sins, we are still supposed to encourage others by knowing when they failed, lift them up and help them seek the right path. Knowing when people fail doesn’t make them any less worthy. We all fail on different levels, but no matter what it is, failure happens. It is in our failures we learn the most, so as Christians we are commanded NOT to judge, not shouldn’t judge, and it’s in this moment we turn to the Lord in prayer and as for the forgiveness of sins.

“Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need” Hebrews 4:16 Pray with conviction, but with respect. Pray for answers when you are lost and do not know the way. Allow the questions to come forth, and allow the Lord to answer and teach you. Even if we do not know the words or how to explain it, God knows. We need only to thank God for being in our lives, thank God for the blessings and respect the phenomenal cosmic power. We know God is more then just a genie to come to our beckon call. First God can and has brought people back from the dead, and no I don’t mean Zombie. Second, although God doesn’t and wont force love because of the nature of free will, God will do everything to place you in favorable situation to meet the right person for you. And well, how you handle it whether you blow it or not is on you.

Either way you look at it, God is our King. God is our Abba (Father) and should be treated with the fear and respect you would have for anyone that could squish the whole earth like a Vader force choke in a second. Have respect, but always approach God with everything on your heart.

 

Why I became The Arrow Preacher

Why I became the Arrow Preacher

A question I’ve been asking myself is why this path? Why have I chosen to dawn the hood, teach myself to be an archer, learn the Bible and teach others. I don’t know the path I live on, or where it will take me. All my life I’ve felt out of place, I have felt like something was wrong. The only part of my life that makes sense, the only part of my life that seems to be going well, knowing that I am writing and making a difference. It feels good knowing that I am in some small way doing God’s work.

For so long in my life I wished I could be someone else, anyone other then who I was. I dreaded every day I would wake up and head out into the world. I never cared for what I saw in the mirror, or the pain and suffering I had in my heart every day. I had always had a love for archery and characters that were archers. One in particular the Green Arrow became a quick favorite of mine. For years I would dress as the character for Halloween. I continued to train myself with my bows and as time went on, more and more people started to call me the Arrow.

During the time I spent under the hood it became clearer I was more comfortable under the hood then that everyone saw me as every day. As I began to write on Facebook the more I wrote the more people started to gravitate to it. In time the suggestion would start to come that I create my own blog, separate from Facebook, A place where my voice could and would be heard. Eventually I would be told by the right people, at just the right time in my life to start this blog.

Over the last few months as I’ve seen my blog take flight, I now find myself evaluating where I’m going. I find myself comfortable in my reasonable success with my blog and finding a sense of pride with each new country my blog is viewed from.

These days my persona feels more real then my life. I feel I am doing my best work when I am writing and reaching out to others. God has blessed me with some wonderful abilities, and I am thankful every day for them. To allow my pain to reach others and not let that pain destroy me I can only praise God. My pain the suffering I’ve endured has taught me much it will not be in vein. If I can reach others in similar pain, those who’ve gone through depression, anxiety, divorce, self loathing, the thoughts and feelings we all have at some point. God has blessed me with a great deal over the years. As I have survived on setback after another in my life, it is always God who’s lifted me out of the shadows, brought me back into the light, brought me back to life. The war is far from over, and as I see myself a warrior for Christ I will not give up till my last breath is taken to bring others unto his flock.

I will continue to use my gifts, use this hood and this mask, and to use my bow to reach others any way I can. This blog is an outlet for the daily struggles I face, along with things I know others have and are facing. I can only hope to reach as many people as possible. For all of my followers, THANK YOU! I am so grateful for each and every one of you. I am honored so have such wonderful followers.