Fortune Favors the Bold

Fortune Favors the Bold

We stand before giants and we prepare for battle. We are toe to toe every day with the Devil and we stair down the taunting nature, the temptations, and the blatant attacks from the devil. On the path following Christ there are some distinct signs you’re doing it right. If you don’t have the Devil nipping at your heals, that means you’re not a threat, and he doesn’t need to knock you off your kilter. But for those who are under constant attack you must learn to be bold. Proverbs 28:1 “The wicked flee when no one is pursuing them, but the righteous are as bold as a lion.” When you look in the bible there are several names that stood tall in favor of being bold, and that boldness paid off. Philemon 1:8 “For this reason, although I have great boldness in Christ to command you to do what is right.” Ruth from the book of Ruth stood up to the enemies of her people, fought the fight, and saved thousands from being slaughtered. King David before he was king, stood toe to toe with Goliath and because he was bold and he had God on his side history favored him.

2 Corinthians 3:11-12 “So if the old way, which has been replaced, was glorious, how much more glorious is the new, which remains forever! Since this new way gives us such confidence, we can be very bold. Because of Christ and our faith in him, we can now come boldly and confidently into God’s presence.” No matter what situation we find ourselves we know we can be confident and rest assured that no matter where we may find ourselves, when we follow Christ no matter what we have God on our side. Romans 8:31 “What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” While this won’t always fix everything, and it might not always make us feel better, we can always find at least some peace knowing we are Gods children.

Hebrews 13:6 “So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.” Following Christ means we can be persecuted for our beliefs. The day may come when to follow Christ means to die for that belief. No matter what man may do to us, we know that we still have Heaven. We still have paradise, and when this world passes away, a new life is waiting for us. A life with no more tears, no more sorrow, no sadness, only joy, and perfection, and that has to give at least some comfort during the storm. So when the devil knocks at your door, when the wolf howls and tries to huff and puff and blow the house down, follow 1 Corinthians 16:13 Remain alert. Keep standing firm in your faith. Keep on being courageous and strong.” Don’t back down when the Devil attacks, stand your ground. Fortune favors the bold, and it takes a bold stance to stand up to Satan and endure the attacks that come when you are steadfast in your faith.

 

My Super Power

My Super Power

So this may come as a complete shock to most of you, but I have a super power. In the last year and after an exhaustive amount of time on dating sites, I have come to find I am invisible. The amount of greetings I’ve sent in a year verses the amount of new friends or relationships I’ve made being under 5 shows me I am likely to be invisible to most people. In my mind the more dating sites I joined the better my odds were at making friends, and finding a relationship.

When you send more then a dozen greetings in a day and yet I receive no replies. The truth is in today’s world online dating stinks. The internet is littered with people who try to con you, who try to use you, and that’s if you warrant the attention. Finding the frauds is more and more difficult as their game has changed. While their game changes it’s also important for mine to change.

For many people invisibility is a real annoying truth. Going all day with few people making an attempt to reach out, and not being able to make new connections, it’s been a long road. When you look at how those sites work they are largely looks based to start with. If you aren’t a 10 in this world you don’t get far. This world has become shallow and no longer cares about the deeper parts of a person, instead it’s worried about the way people look. The old saying never judge a book by its cover obviously never caught on. The point is, don’t lower your own standards to fit into the world. Never give up on your own biblical principles just because the world has. Never give up on your moral compass to fill the void you may have. It’s easy to get lonely and start to think of ways to fill that void, but the feeling that comes from putting your beliefs aside to make your worldly desires feel better is horrible.

It’s not easy spending the holidays alone, especially two in a row. It’s not easy to be lonely, it’s not easy to feel left out, or abandoned. It’s not easy feeling like there’s a void deep within your heart, but there’s hope. John 15:18-19 “If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.” It’s not easy being lonely day in and day out.

People in this life can be mean and cruel. They can try to use you, abuse your kindness, try to take advantage, and with all of that, the things some people say to you just hurts. I was talking with someone and offered to show them around town because they were new to the area. They wanted something from me, and when I refused they said my ex wife made the right choice in leaving me, that I wasn’t worth sticking around. Even though she was a stranger, the words still hurt. While it’s very common to run into people on the internet who try to scam you, or pray on your naivety, you have to have your wits.

It’s a sad reality to know that most people on these dating sites are out to get you. The vast majority of the people in my experience that have talked with me desire something. iTunes gift cards, transfer money through western union, or any number of other means. While it hurts to know I’m either invisible, or people think I’m easy prey. Regardless, it doesn’t make life easy when all your met with on your quest is negativity, and rejection. Both of them hurt, and when people don’t get what they want and they take a stab at hurting you, it’s a tough pill to swallow. The key is to remember that though you may be invisible to people because lets face it, people aren’t very nice sometimes, you’re never invisible to God. You are His creation, and he is our (Abba) father. He cares about you, he cares about your happiness, and your well being, so when people hurt you, God hurts for us. God is never not with us, and you will always be a priority for God. Both good and bad, God wants us to be happy. God wants us to have a relationship with Him. Yes it’s hard to be alone during the holidays especially, but in that time alone, at least try to take some comfort knowing that the Father of the universe, the King on the throne, the creator of life and Heaven, knows you and loves you. You can’t deny how amazing that is, that even in our tiny little lives, God loves us so much, that Jesus Died for our, and even if it was just one of us, Jesus would have given His life.

My super power may be invisibility at the moment, but one day, my kindness, my generosity, my love and compassion will pay off, and my obedience to the Lord, my love for people, and my steadfast stance against the Devils attacks, I will be rewarded in abundance for my actions. And to borrow a line from the Dark Knight himself, “It’s not who I underneath, but what I do that defines me!” Don’t let other people’s opinions destroy you. Yes it hurts, yes, the words sting and you will feel it, but don’t let it break you. You aren’t trash because God doesn’t make trash. You aren’t a mistake because God doesn’t make mistakes. You are perfectly made, and somewhere out there, there’s someone perfectly made for you. Don’t give up hope, and never quit.

All our Hope

All our hope

All we can do is drop to our knees and pray, placing all our hope in Jesus. I know I’m not worthy to inherit the Kingdom of Heaven, but God is big and I am small. Some people are cruel, and manipulative. Pray to God for their souls, pray to God for the change that needs to happen.

I’ve been down on my knees a lot lately. I’ve been taken to the emotional woodshed, and all I can say is Thank God yesterday’s gone. Im no stranger to pain, no stranger to heartache and heartbreak, but I’m free and I’m saved in the Blood of Christ. We can be beaten, tortured, we can loose it all on this world, and we can be broken down, we can be so hurt we may not feel like we can breathe anymore, but if you can still draw breath, then the hope in Christ, all our sins are forgiven, our tears will one day be wiped away, and the pain of yesterday will be gone.

There’s nothing anyone can do to take your salvation away. Your heart for Jesus will outlive your pain, the attacks you will face daily. ‘If you can take it you can make it’ unbroken.

A Journey In The Darkness

A Journey in the darkness

Psalm 91:4 “He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.”

The joys of this life can be easily snuffed out in the mists of dark days, of struggles, and of heartbreak. When the days get you down you have to be strong. It’s so easy to fall into darkness and despair. I’ve seen it happen in my own life, and in the lives of many that I know. Despair is a dangerous and sometimes deadly trap. Despair can easily turn into quicksand and drag you down, and must like the Dementors in the famed Harry Potter books, it can suck the happiness right out of your lungs and make you feel like you’ll never be happy again. One thing in my own life I’ve found is how fickle some friends can be. Since my gun shot wound a year ago I’ve found more and more friends are fickle and come around only when they want something, or they are bored and know you’ll be there as a last resort.

While there’s no doubt that this hurts, and I know I can’t be the only person that goes through this, what hurts the most is the exodus that’s occurred. While I realize that bullet changed my life, and while I am responsible, the feeling of loss from the mass abandonment that was left behind is heart breaking. Now over a year later, I’ve had another exodus from obvious different causes, but never the less the pain is the same. This presents a new kind of struggle, and yet again staring at the brink of darkness, and once more unto the breach. The war continues and as there is a great sense of loss, I am left with one undeniable fact, that I am not alone. Though the case may be that while physically and emotionally I am or feel alone, God is always there with me. While this doesn’t take away the desire and drive to meet someone special, or want to make new local friends, it does prevent me from falling into complete and total despair.

I know at the end of the day when I’m feeling down and I’m feeling blue, I know that my future is much brighter then it appears because I know that my Abba is looking out over me. I swore no matter how bad it got I would never stair down the wrong side of that circumstance again, and that I would be an advocate for finding another way. There is always hope as long as we breath, and while I am lonely, while my Christmas wish is to find love, and to not being alone anymore, and to make some good local friends, I know that God is with me and in time, those things will be mine, because it’s what my deepest desire is from my heart. I may not always makes the right choices, but I try to.

If you’re feeling despair this season reach out, find someone. If you’re happy as can be this holiday season, reach out to your friends or family that are having a hard time. Don’t forget this is both the happiest time of year, and often the saddest. Faith is so important, and even when it’s sometimes hard, don’t loose hope, and never give up. Don’t ever forget that you can be protected under Angels wings, and your God, the King of all is powerful enough to handle any situation, every tear, every cut, you aren’t suffering through it alone. God is not just watching, God experiences it all with us. Rest assure you will make it out, and one day you will make it home, a home of pure perfection.

 

 

 

Back To Life

Back to life

The return to my normal life came back like a kick in the face. Less then 24 hours after my return I find myself right back in the war. My first appointment was supposed to be easy and straight forward and yet the VA’s propensity for failure is never without a small sense of irony.

While the appointment wasn’t a total loss, it was a quick reminder I’m no longer in paradise and I needed to be ready to pick up arms again and be ready for the impending fight.

When you return from a vacation, or in my case an intense clinic of physical and psychological exorcises designed to push, motivate, and rejuvenate your soul, it’s a challenge returning to life and watching as the difficulty continues.

It’s important to stay focused and realize that just because there are hiccups in the road doesn’t mean all is lost. I’m finding myself in a struggle to manage the emotional roller coaster, but as far as frustrations go, breaking out in chronic hives is high on my list. Breathing and trying to recall the serenity prayer is a big step for me to remaining focused on the big picture.

Finding your center

Finding your center

Sitting on the side of the ledge of the island looking at the sunrise, the waves glistening from the sunlight making the water look like diamonds. The breeze tropical, the smell of the salt, the few clouds occasionally making the sun playing peek-a-boo with the ground below, the only thing you can think about is how wonderful life is. While this can sometimes be an allusion, the fact remains, you must learn to find your center in any situation you may find yourself.

As a Veteran I’ve had to place a lot of energy into keeping the anger built up to be subdued, and while for me particularly angry out bursts are rare for some, it’s an everyday occurrence. It’s so important to learn how to keep yourself centered and grounded. The Bible tells us to Love our neighbors as ourselves. If we are to love, that means we much learn to love others as we are taught what love is, and that’s patient, kind, not boastful, it doesn’t keep score, it doesn’t boast, and if we can find that love for one another, we would be much more in tuned, and we would find that we can live more harmoniously with those around us.

Through prayer and meditation, we can accomplish so much. We can truly allow our bodies to heal better, and we can find ourselves having a better grasp on mental health then before. While this isn’t something that comes easily for everyone, it is something that just like practicing at any sport it takes time, energy, focus, and practice. Allow yourself to reconnect with yourself, and be kind to yourself, and your surroundings. Peace can be found with a little love in your heart.

While this is my last post from the beautiful state of Hawaii, I find myself both sad and excited. I have felt a rejuvenation deep down into my soul and I know I needed this trip. The Aloha (Love-Kindness) I have felt since I’ve been here has been so warm, and kind, and even a little unexpected. This is an island where there’s a lot of beauty, and awe, and love. Nearly everyone I met greets with a hug, some even from strangers a kiss on the cheek, and the generosity of the people from this island has been beyond amazing. The lessons for surfing and all the surf boards were donated time even as last minute as it was, just because of what CORE stands fore. The amazing things these guys are doing, helps us find something we’ve been missing, and sometimes lost. The Canoe lessons were also free, both times. This has defiantly had an impact on me, and I hope to find a way to pay it forward. God has placed me in paradise at a time in my life when I couldn’t have needed this more.

Finding your center 2

I’m able to close my eyes and see Diamond Head in the distance, across the water the giant peek springs from the ocean towards the sky. Its beauty is unmatched. I can only hope to keep that place in mind, and allow myself to reach back to the moments I gazed upon the stunning sight, and I am able to remember the ocean sounds and breeze, and find a sense of peace. Finding ones center, and reminding myself, there is still beauty in this world, even when we can’t see it.

Overcome

Overcome

Yesterday I did something I never thought I’d be able to do, I went and successfully surfed at North Beach in Hawaii. I was instructed, and taught, but the more important thing was I didn’t let my physical challenge to get in the way. Now, within reason of course, this can be a good and bad thing, but the risks, and the soreness from after the fact aside, I was able to surf after having major back surgery. Now the day after, sure I’m sore, but my heart feels good. The things I saw while on the water blew my mind. I have heard of people being able to overcome amazing injuries, but what I saw, renewed my hope and my spirit that anything is possible.

One of the guys I’ve had the pleasure spending time with is an Iraq war amputee. He suffered a major injury from an IED blast and after struggling with that injury ended up having his leg cut off from slightly below the knee. He is one of the guys I was able to go surfing with, but it’s not just that, he bikes, he skateboards, and yea, he surfs too. How amazing is it, that a guy with only one leg, a piece of modern technology, and a will, a drive to accept his situation, and allow himself to overcome the challenges of this world to live out a dream! Watching him get up on the surfboard and ride some pretty good size waves and doing it with grace and finesse was truly an amazing sight to see.

When we have major things happen in our life, it’s so easy to say we’ll never be able to again, or it’s to hard, or it’s to difficult, or even, it’s impossible. Yesterday I saw what it means to throw the word impossible and destroy it. Every single one of the Veterans, every one of us was able to get up and ride the waves. All of us has our own distinct physical limitations. All of us have suffered major injuries, and while back surgery and amputation are the worst of them, we all hurt on a daily basis. Now I’m not saying be reckless, but know your limitation. It’s okay to push the boundaries a little. It’s okay to follow your dreams, and when it comes to the body, it’s okay to know in your heart you can push it, and not hurt yourself. None of us pushed too hard, just enough to feel that sense of accomplishment and satisfaction.

In life we will always be hit with problems that seem so large we have no idea how to solve them. We see life and we feel it’s too big, and much like Luke Skywalker and the X-Wing in the swam at Deghoba, it’s just to big to lift. But Yoda a third of Luke’s size lifts it out of the water and moves it to a safe place. Why can’t we attack life’s problem in the same way? The lies the devil throw’s at us is one to keep up subdued. It’s meant to stop us from being able to thrive in this world. There are always options open to you, and sometimes it’s not pretty, but we always have a way through the darkness. When bad things happen we must find a way to change our circumstances and use that for good. It’s so often I hear the word can’t from everyone in this walk of life, and even myself have used the word can’t. Let me explain, first off, I have used the word can’t often after my back surgery. I have said I can’t go rock climbing anymore, and I can’t do push ups or sit ups anymore, but the truth is, even though I shouldn’t, that’s not to say I can’t. I have major back degeneration and I need to know the limits as to not hurt myself. That in no means, means I can’t do it. Should I surf every day when I know I have a bad neck? Nope, of course I shouldn’t do it every day, but taking opportunities, and living life is part of the wonders God created in this world. 4 months ago when I had surgery, I never would have imagined I would be on a beach, in Hawaii, and surfing, along with learning how to sail, learning how to canoe with a big group, bike riding around parts of the island, it’s truly an amazing feeling to know I have safely been able to push the bounds and continue on.

While there are physical issues that come from pushing those boundaries, that’s all part of the game. Cause and effect, which is why you need to know your limitations, but always push yourself. Don’t do it and over do it, but don’t stop living life either. God wants for us to enjoy the beauty and wonder of this world, and if you never dare to dream big, then you will be the one to hold yourself back. Doing the impossible is only impossible because of how we hold ourselves back. Don’t allow yourself to fall into depression from an injury, learn to see it for what it is, and learn how to use it. I most certainly won’t be doing things to hurt myself, but it’s in those times where I can go and find a new way. I can’t run anymore, but I can swim. I can’t lift weights anymore, but I can do yoga. I can’t to push ups anymore, but with the right bike I can ride. All of these things I can do of course I have to be careful of doing in moderation. It’s all about how much we do it, and to know when to stop so we don’t overdo it.

In the Army we are taught to read a situation, adapt and overcome. We never know why some things happen, but even in the worst of tragedies there is hope and beauty. We can’t loose sight of it and don’t allow whatever obstacles you face to be the end all for you. Never quit pushing, and never quit trying. There is always a path for you and though it may not be easy to find, God’s got something planned for you. This week I have seen the beauty of perseverance and great kindness from total strangers. Watching them overcome what they have been through and thrive. Many of us have very little money, struggles with work, struggles with relationships, but they are happy, and thriving. Don’t allow yourself to struggle forever. Find your way, and follow what God wants for you. As it’s said, I have plans for peace. God will allow us to go through trials, but ultimately, if it destroys you, it’s on you. Pick yourself back up, brush yourself off, wipe the tears from your face, and drive on.

Life’s Winding Road

Life’s Winding Road

While in life it’s interesting how we can see the curve in the river behind us, and then we can’t see beyond the curve in front of us. Have you ever seen the river from the sky? When you look down sometimes it looks like the river is going to wrap back to itself, but it doesn’t, and it slinks and slithers along the ground. Isn’t it how we look at life? The life I have lived has seemed to be like the winding river. It’s sometimes unforgiving, and it’s winding and twisting, and sometimes it seems completely random.

It’s easy to look at life and feel hopeless, and helpless. It’s in those moments when it looks like your river is now a waterfall to your own demise. For me, only once did I get to a point when I felt there was no hope, no way out, and it nearly destroyed me. The faith it takes to carry on and continue to move forward, allowing the river to naturally take its shape, it’s own course.

Much as when we are on the river we can’t truly wrap our heads around the intricacies, the beauty of the winds and curves, how are we so certain in our lives things will never get better. Our view is so small, and yet when something bad happens to us, the end of the world is upon us and we just can’t see the way out. We have to remember that the river continues to move, and we must move along with it.

Life isn’t an easy path, and it certainly isn’t one that will always go the way we have planned, but when we trust in the Lord to guide us, navigating the river will be easier. It’s about having the faith to trust in the twists and curves and remember that no mater what twists and turns exist, we will always make it off the river to the vast ocean, and in our case, that’s Heaven.

If we remember that the road isn’t the most important aspect, and we truly remember to focus on the things we have the ability to change, and let go of the stresses and worry for those things in which we have little to no control over, we would actually be much happier. Remember whatever we are going through today, God’s still in control, still on the throne, and we still know how the story ends. That should give us comfort and although it won’t always provide the comfort it ought to, I urge you to reach out to a fellow Christian and allow them to help you bare your cross.

Don’t short change yourself, and allow yourself to focus on the long game. Life’s about the long trek down the river, not the speed boat rout. Believe in yourself, and help others along their path. You will always find help when you need it. God will always give you what you need. Always.

Mile High

Mile High

Here I sit, the roar of the engine echos throughout the cabin. The ground is obscure by a thick layer of fluffy clouds. The sky is a pink with the morning sunrise. How beautiful is God’s creation from this perspective. How blessed I am to be given the chance to see this sunrise. The start of my journey, one I hope to be one of self exploration, a journey to find something within myself perhaps I’ve not lost, by merely misplaced.

It’s so easy to allow the world to distract from the beautiful chance we have to live. Living as it’s said is not for the weak. It seems almost unfair that we live our whole lives to work, to make money, to pay bills, and we can get stuck in a place within our lives where we are merely existing, not truly living. Someone asked me not to long ago where all I’ve been. As I began to think about it I had to check the map to actually make a solid list. Now as I’m flying over the beautiful blue planet of ours I find myself thinking how many places I’ve gone on the silver wings. Even if I were to die tomorrow, I’d would go with peace knowing I had seen much, experienced a great many wonders, and have loved deeply.

From a mile high or several, or somewhere in between, I am full of comfort and joy that God has blessed me. Even though I don’t make the best decisions always, I have always attempted to live a life that would bring a smile to the King.

Sometimes to gain a little perspective you just need to gain a little altitude. Let us all remember that in the weeks coming into the Holiday season. Don’t let the negativity the Devil loves to send as gifts to all, get you down. Rejoice that even in the darkness we’ve seen in our nation as of late, that Gods still in control, and even when it’s hard to see, have faith that it’ll all work out.

I know many of you are entering into, or have been on a season of hardship, but no matter the storm, it will pass. Storms always do and even if they leave a wake of distraction, know that you can rebuild. No it may not be easy, and yes there will be stumbles along the way, but you can build if your foundation is solid. Let your foundation be the God that makes all things new. Trust in the Lord and let God take your hand and guide you through whatever storm you face. If God doesn’t call the storm there’s a reason. If God keeps you in the storm, find the why. Learn, and grow, and be at peace, because no matter what, the sun will rise tomorrow.

As cloudy as it is on the ground beneath me, from where I sit the sun rises. The colors are bright, and here shows the truth, God’s Kingdom is beautiful and His Son, did rise and from a mile high, there is no doubt.

When Dreams Come True

When Dreams Come True

We never know what God has in store for us, or what’s waiting just around the bend. Sitting on my couch just last night I was sure I knew how my week was going to go. I was going to make some phone calls, sleep late, watch some game shows, maybe talk to a few friends here and there, probably go to Walmart once or twice, and that was about it. That is until I received a fairly cryptic message. “Are you clear to fly?” See after having back surgery I have been on very restrictive orders for months. Even now there are a great many things I still cannot do, and even more that I shouldn’t do. But one thing I can do is fly. Of course I answered yes, that I was cleared and I waited for the answer. The next message wasn’t an answer but another question. How would I feel to go sailing in Hawaii in less then two days, all expenses paid? I looked at it, read it twice, and a third time, just to make sure I read it correctly, but sure as I was still breathing, the opportunity of a lifetime fell into my lap. Without any reason to say no, I stomached through my initial terror of doing anything like this, and said yes.

The following 24 hours would be a whirlwind of getting ready, buying new luggage, organizing, and sorting through the needs and wants for the trip. It had been a long time since I planned a trip like this, and although flying to Hawaii isn’t like going to another country, it mine as well be. I suppose one of the biggest struggles was getting my prescription filled in a quick manner. The rest wasn’t difficult just time consuming. Getting ready wasn’t the problem, the biggest problem was telling myself to go. There’s an interesting battle that wages inside. When I was younger I used to go out all the time, and often alone. In the last few years that’s been more and more of a struggle. As much as I hate being home alone all the time, I usually sit around and wait till about the time to get ready. That’s when the sinking feeling hits me. I think to myself ‘do I really wanna go? Do I have to? What if I just stay home?’ I of course get ready and go, but it’s a challenge all the time. The more that time passes the less motivated I am to go out and do things. I don’t know the cause, and I dare say laziness, but I feel it’s something more.

It was strange how I was just praying about my current situation and needing some kind of reprieve. Even though I feel this is a horrible time for a vacation or retreat like this, I suppose when opportunity comes knocking it’s time to open the door. The way I see it, a week on the island of Honolulu and meeting new people, relaxing with no worries, and no responsibilities for a week. All I can do is say thank you and enjoy the gift. The time to go is quickly approaching, and the sun shall rise on a new day, a day of grace, a day of continued hope, and love. We may not have everything we want, but I know I have what I need. So from the bottom of my heart, can’t say how the days will unfold, but I’m so thankful my God’s still on the throne, and still looking out over me. Can’t ask for anything more, especially since I’m not worthy of such love, and I don’t deserve it, but Jesus died for me and that means I’ll be okay.

God Bless