Tag: TEST

The Rugged Path

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

The rugged path

A path we walk so deep into the wilderness. The stones piled high to block the traveler. Trucks and sticks, thistles and thorns, are but some of the dangers set upon the traveler. The nighttime brings the howls and the moon. What little chance does the traveler have against the predators of the dark to navigate the path with so many hazards? The traveler’s alone no partner or friend, no one to navigate, no one to bare the truths. The path at night is scary and brings a fright. The traveler walks and fear both good and evil takes hold. Fear can paralyze us, stop us from moving, fear when unchecked unmatched can bury us in our tracks. The path’s dangers are many, and we stub our toe, we scrape our knees, we take thorns to the face, but we keep driving on. Fear of death can push us to continue, and fear can keep us fighting if we only see right now. Of all the things we fear on the path, the internal battle is often more scary and more dangerous. What if we fail and we can’t figure out how to get back up? What if we are doomed to walk this earth alone because someone left us? What if loss is our fate and we will never be happy again? Fear can be manifest on our path, fear of all these things can present themselves as stumbling blocks, thorns, wolves, and darkness. The fear we have are lies from the deceiver himself. Some way, some how, we must learn to light up our path, and allow the light to reveal the secrets of the dark.

2 Corinthians 4:6 “It started when God said, “Light up the darkness!” and our lives filled up with light as we saw and understood God in the face of Christ, all bright and beautiful.” We must have faith in the Lord. We know that God lit up the darkness, and we know that we lived in darkness till we were saved by it. John 1:5 “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” Jesus Christ gave us the hope we didn’t have since the fall from Eden. We know that Abba (father) is kind and just. We know that Christ made the winds stop and the storm to pass. Isaiah 26:7-11 “Lord, you make the path smooth for good people; the road they travel is level. 8 We follow your will and put our hope in you; you are all that we desire. 9At night I long for you with all my heart; when you judge the earth and its people, they will all learn what justice is. 10 Even though you are kind to the wicked, they never learn to do what is right. Even here in a land of righteous people they still do wrong; they refuse to recognize your greatness. 11 Your enemies do not know that you will punish them. Lord, put them to shame and let them suffer; let them suffer the punishment you have prepared. Show them how much you love your people. “ We know that our fate was sealed but the innocent blood of Christ saved us. We know that now our fate is within our own power of free will. We know the power of God to shape our path is stronger then we could ever possibly hope to imagine. Isaiah 40:4 “Every valley shall be lifted up, and every mountain and hill be made low; the uneven ground shall become level, and the rough places a plain.” Light up the path, remove the stones, the thistles, the thorns, the trunks that would reach up and grab you and hold you down will withers and flatten out.

Having faith and letting go of the pain, the suffering within our heart, is hard, but we can overcome the darkness inside us if we work on it daily, practice it and telling ourself every day that we can put one foot in front of the other. Sometimes one foot in front of the other is all we can do. Every single day we must ask God to take that pain, take the traps on the path we walk and remove them from our hike through the world. Our faith is something we must continue to work on, every day we will find ourselves under attacked from the Devil’s lies, the Devil’s tricks, the Devil’s temptations, and we must allow ourselves to fight the fight with the help of God. We cannot fight the Devil alone and we will loose if we choose to get into the ring with Him and try to go one on one. We must always keep in mind we are nothing without God, we achieve nothing without the grace of God and we cannot make our way through the rugged terrain without the blessings God bestows upon us. This path we walk there will be bloodshed, there will be tears and no matter how the path gets us down, allow God to pick you back up always, and you will see that even in the hardships you will feel the grace of God.

 

 

 

 

Do you have your passport?

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

Do you have your passport?

John 14:6 “Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.’” We know that the only way to heaven is to believe in the Son Jesus Christ. I have traveled over a large portion of the world and during those travels I had to use my passport to do so. When we die we have a choice of where we want to travel next. When we live our lives our actions will dictate where we go. Just like our passport to travel abroad, our passport doesn’t always give us the ability to travel to any country they want. Parts of China, Russia, and North Korea for instance are not permissible with a passport alone.

In Romans 10:9 it reconfirms the point that you cannot travel to Heaven without the relationship with Jesus Christ. “Because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” The point is simple, we have straightforward rules to follow and if we do that, if we give our lives to Christ and accept that we are small in the grand scheme of life.

When we think about eternity why are we so stubborn to face the facts of life like a good honorable person? Sometimes in life it’s difficult to keep ourselves focused on the big picture. We often want the feel good medicine. We give up our morals, our compass that points to God for the things that give us worldly gratification. We often fall short in our walk with Christ, but thankfully the gatekeeper of Heaven is an understanding guy. Heaven is a place for those who are proclaimed sinners, people who know they’ve done wrong, and in the midsts of those mistakes try to pay the penance for them, they try to redeem themselves, and ask God for forgiveness for the sins committed, a person who tries to do the works for the pleasure of God. We cannot get to heaven through good works, but in our love of Christ, we are compelled to do good works because we are the hands and feet of Christ Jesus.

Make sure that as you live your life just like your drives license and your passport, you keep your faith renewed. Knowing Jesus and knowing that through Him is the only way into heaven that’s your passport. Make sure you keep it with you in your daily walk. Make sure you keep it updated by reading your bible, spending time with other Christians, loving your neighbors, and doing the works God has placed on your heart. Have faith in the Lord and you will be rewarded with a one way trip to eternal grace.

 

 

The Good, The Bad, The Ouch

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

The Good, The Bad, The Ouch

No matter how nice you may be, no matter how much you do for someone, sometimes people just suck. Yes that’s my official position. Sometimes people are just mean. Sometimes there isn’t a reason for the good and the bad people do. Sometimes people just want to watch the world burn, even if it’s just a small corner of it. Satan loves chaos, he’s the prince of darkness, and the stain of that chaos rings throughout the entire world.

t’s a sad day when some people’s humanity seemed to be stripped away. Some people change and when they do it’s not for the better. When I returned home from Iraq I knew I had changed. The way I looked at the world was different, the way I looked at relationships and love where all different. I came so close to death I gravitated to people and when I cared for someone I cared deeply because I had realized I never knew when the end would come. Because of that I often held on much tighter then those around me. I don’t know if that’s why I’ve struggled to find and keep the love of another in my life, but the heartache and heartbreak that have plagued my life keep things very difficult for me to continue moving forward.

No matter how far someone falls we must always keep hope that redemption is possible. We must always remember that God is always working on every situation and one-day justice will prevail. Patience is something we all struggle with from time to time. As the struggles come to keep the wound sewed shut on my pieced together Frankenstein Monster looking heart, the day will come when the blessing of the Lord will make the wait worthwhile.

While patience of the heart may be the toughest thing we face, we often don’t have a choice. The day will come when the blessings of the Lord will be gifted to the faithful. Proverbs 10:22 “The blessing of the LORD makes rich, and he adds no sorrow with it.” We may suffer but it can’t be forever. As much as the pain hurts, you must remember to reach out and continue to reach out until the pain is bearable again. Every day I wake I feel the sharp stabbing pain in my chest. I feel the burden of my cross so heavy I feel like it’s dragging me to my knees. No matter how hard I’ve tried this last year I still feel like the wound is fresh and not healing at all. I’ve attempted, but I feel as if I’m floating in stagnant water, barely keeping my head above the murky water. I feel like I’m drowning every day of my life, and every attempt I’ve made at making my life better, and every attempt to improve my path have failed and have left me searching for answers, searching for an absolution.

 

Finding my Black Canary

thearrowpreacher2 Comments

Finding my Black Canary

Do many of you often wonder where you other half is? As I have often wondered what the next step in my life may be, I question the range of relationships. While I’ve wondered why the women I have loved have decided to move on with their lives and leave the life built behind them, I consistently struggle with the reason for this particular path. While the why isn’t the focus here the focus is how do we move forward? Sometimes we love and loose, how do we begin to fix our broken hearts?

Psalm 34:18 “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”

Psalm 147: 3 “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

Romans 8:39 “nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

1 John 4:10 “In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.”

Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

 When we are down and broken we know that the Lord is with us and our crushed spirits. We can only rely on the spirit to pick us back up. The Lord starts to heal us the instant the stab to our heart happens. Just because wrongs are done, and they may be done by us, or to us, neither wrong can separate us from the Lord. Jesus is hand in hand with us no matter what. The God above, the creator of heaven and earth, forgives our sins and it is the love of God that give us strength. We are nothing without God, and without God’s grace. Everything we have is a gift. Either God gives us our gifts, or sends us along our path. Either God sends us our pain, or allows our pain to happen. No matter what the case may be, all things happen with the blessing of God. God only allows us to travel a path as long as He deems fit. Sin will only be tolerated in our lives for so long before we will be punished by our Father. How long will we blatantly Sin in our lives before we realize we are wrong and fix it?

Psalm 71:20 “You who have made me see many troubles and calamities will revive me again; from the depths of the earth you will bring me up again.” No matter how far we fall, no matter how deeply we hurt, God will lift us up again and help us heal. We aren’t meant to be alone. Isaiah 43:2 “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.” No matter our situation we shouldn’t allow ourselves to become overwhelmed. We need to learn to let go of our sorrows and allow the Lord to take care of them. We must endure our crucibles to survive them. We must learn that our gifts will far outweigh our pain and suffering.

For me I believed I had found my Black Canary to my Green Arrow. I believed I had found the woman who completed me. I never wanted anyone else. I felt in my days like I was missing something, like I needed friends to complete what I perceived as missing. The fact was I wasn’t truly looking for friends the truth was I was still dealing with the ramifications of multiple posttraumatic events in my life. Loosing the woman I loved, the woman I would have done anything for and fought to give anything I could. There were many reasons she left, most of which I don’t know, and even to this day don’t understand. However, as broken as I am, I feel badly for her. As I pray one day she may remember the spark that led us together to start with, allow us to rekindle what was damaged. Anything is possible if you believe in Christ. While I have struggled with my ability to move on I have to have faith in the unknown. I believe that no matter the time that goes by if two people are meant to be together life will somehow draw them back together. Love is undying, love is forever, but everything is in God’s time. Some day I will find my woman in a mask to match my own. One day I will find a woman who will don the mask and put on the jacket. I will keep the faith as all of you out there have lived through loss and divorce. Divorce doesn’t have to be the end. Trust in the Lord and in Him your future will be, as the sun shall rise. We must learn patience and in that patience trust that in God’s time someone will come into your life. Remember to put God first, and always. Believe in the Lord and don’t forget to pray. I myself struggle with the patience of such things. Even with that struggle I pray and know that prayer is important in our daily relationship with the Lord our Father. 1 John 5:14-15 “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.” Have trust in our prayers being heard for Abba is with us always.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Promise

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

The Promise

 You know what really bakes my noodle? It bothers me when people make promises and break them. As a young child people often made promises to me only to break them over and over again. As I got older it became very important to me to keep my promises. I’m not one to make a promise and not fulfill it or come through. However, it seems that’s not a very common trait for most. The Bible has scripture about keeping your word or promises. 1 John 2:5 “But whoso keepeth his word, in him verily is the love of God perfected: hereby know we that we are in him.” The Lord does not take promises and oaths lightly. Matthew 5:33-37 “Again you have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not swear falsely, but shall perform to the Lord what you have sworn.’ But I say to you, Do not take an oath at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, or by the earth, for it is his footstool, or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. And do not take an oath by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil.” To break your word is a Sin. A promise and oath are forever. Your word is your bond. Your word and if you are a trustworthy person are important to image.

Psalm 89:34 “I will not violate my covenant or alter the word that went forth from my lips.” When we make a promise to someone it’s not to violate our word. Matthew 5:33 “Again you have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not swear falsely, but shall perform to the Lord what you have sworn.” When you make a promise to someone God looks on that promise like you’re making a promise to Him. James 5:12 “But above all, my brothers, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or by any other oath, but let your “yes” be yes and your “no” be no, so that you may not fall under condemnation.” Do not condemn yourself into wickedness by allowing yourself to speak untruths. People who listen to you, do you want them to look at you with untrusting eyes? Do you want to be the type of person that no one believes a word you utter? Don’t hide behind excuses or lies, as sure as the seasons will pass and the snows will melt, the truth will always have it’s day.

It’s important to only make a promise if you are going to keep it. You must remember what you promise to do all you can to keep it. When you vow to do something you should do everything in your power to do it. When you make a vow you must remember that a vow in a bond, more then simple promise. An oath is a covenant unbreakable. Marriage for instance, how simple it’s become to marry, swear a vow to one another, create the covenant before God and yet not only do you break that before your spouse, but you break it before God as well. Do not allow yourself to be ruled by the wicked of the world. There is nothing OKAY with divorce. There’s nothing okay with breaking your promise to anyone. There’s nothing okay with breaking someone’s heart or turning yourself into a liar. What’s worse is when you become a habitual liar. To sin is bad, to sin habitually is worse. Do not allow the world to dictate what you do and the things you lie. Let your yay be yay, and your nay be nay. Speak from the heart and with truth. Don’t hide yourself behind lies. The truth will always set you free.

 

Why do I feel the way I do?

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

Why do I feel the way I do?

I’ve been considering an awful lot about my future these last few weeks I’ve been in recovery. I’ve been wondering why it’s been so hard to meet new people. I’ve been wondering why every plan I’ve had since my separation started has blown up in my face. I’ve been wondering why every new potential lady I’ve met has ghosted me. What does that say about me? Am I being prepared for something more in the future, or something I’m supposed to learn right here and now? While of course I won’t ever have an answer the questions come regardless.

A verse that popped out at me today Hebrews 4:12 “For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.” While I have begged for a change of heart, a change in the way I feel in certain circumstances, I have yet to overcome a particular character flaw, or at least what I perceive as a flaw. God can see what is in our heart of hearts. He sees beyond the mask we wear and show those around us. God sees everything and knows our deepest thoughts, even the ones we may bury so deep we ourselves don’t see them. The truth in the word can often cut us deep to the bone. My personal experience has led me to feel the conviction on more then one occasion. There was a major event last year that touched me. There was a sermon on forgiveness that I needed to hear just one day after I found out about a serious wrong against me by someone I cared for.

Hebrews 4:13 “Neither is there any creature that is not manifest in his sight: but all things are naked and opened unto the eyes of him with whom we have to do.” God knows what we need and when we need it. The right message at the perfect time and when we don’t listen to the word the message is sent to us one way or another, and perhaps by force. The Father wants what’s best for us, and sometimes when the father wants to teach children a particular lesson you have to have a more stern teaching method. Though I’m not a father, and I never had a father, I pay attention to the fathers of my close friends. As I have often felt bitter about the way my life has gone, the hardships I’ve faced and I am forced to remind myself that scripture is full of those who went through so much pain prior to death. Moses, Joseph, Stephen, Paul, David (Prior to becoming King), and of course the suffering and crucifixion of Jesus Christ. If my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ could go through torture, relinquishing any pride, and knowing what was at stake, our immortal souls free from eternal damnation.

Knowing all of this, why do I still feel like I’m not good enough? Romans 7:14-20 “For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am of the flesh, sold under sin. 15 For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. 16 Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good.17 So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. 18 For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.” Knowing I am special and unique because I am of God’s creation does not stop my own self worth being in question. Perhaps the biggest issue is the built in flaw that we see as a flaw, but what if that flaw isn’t a flaw at all. 2 Corinthians 12:7 “So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited.” While I am always willing to admit I’m wrong, and I may be on the built in flaw aspect, it would make sense to ensure we aren’t conceited. For me my biggest failing is my self worth, and the need for social interaction. I guess one of the biggest things to face is the problem, and admitting there is one, or at least something to work on. While it’s very possible that these flaws are there to give us something to always work on. None of us are perfect because we can’t be. Sin prevents perfection and the sooner we realize what our flaws are, accept them, and focus on fixing them to the best of our ability we can realize we are exactly as God created us.

Every waking day we fight because the battle doesn’t stop just because we don’t want to fight anymore. While I would love nothing more to drop off the grid, if I could manage the solitude I have often questioned if anyone would miss me. I have often questioned if I could get over my social requirements if I could actually survive out on my own. I have questioned if I could manage to live on a boat by myself on the sea, in a cabin in the woods, and just survive without the influence of the world. The world beats us down and some people have more struggles then others. The path and struggle although painful and full of sacrifice, the end result is something more. We can either embrace the fire or run from it. I feel the way I do because the world has been a cruel and unforgiving place full of pits and spikes, and flaming arrows that have burned down my life more then once. The house can always be rebuilt if the foundation is strong. A tree can be cut back and cut back, but with strong roots it can grow again. When the world burns down the house to the foundation rebuilding takes time. So long as we realize rebuilding can’t and won’t happen over night, we can be in the right mindset that rebuilding is a chance to change, a chance to fix mistakes, make things bigger and stronger then they were before. To purge the old and make way for the new, but there will be hardships along the way, there will be tests, but know that God never allows you to go through the tests until you’re ready to overcome them. Be brave and keep calm, buckle your armor and prepare for the next step, the next chapter and face the enemy head on.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Cage

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

The Cage

You lied to me and then you left. My heart was cracked and broken, and all this time it feels like it’s still held captive behind a cage. Unable to be free, unable to heal, the barbed wire tears it apart with each attempt to escape the torture. For how long will you have the power over my heart? For how long will you break my heart again and again?

The day has to come when the power breaks. Nothing can last forever. Once upon a time I thought you were my angel sent to me by God, the reward for a life of hardship. Once upon a time I thought you were my sign that life would forever be a blessing and I foolishly believed that love, the love we had would be the forever kind. I believed with all my heart that no matter what came our way I wouldn’t have to worry. But I underestimated the devils cry. I didn’t see the attack before it was too late, and then, you were gone.

I didn’t fight in time. The Trojan horse got in, and I watched it come. I took the horse for a horse not a trap. I rose no defense, I sounded no alarm, and when the night came the true nature of the horse was revealed and by then the fight was over.

My love was all I had to give. I gave the world I could, but that love wasn’t strong enough. Without that love I questioned everything in my life. I fell into a caged despair. I gave my everything, but like some soldier going toe to toe with Hercules I was swatted away like a fly, not chance at all. I stood no chance against the giant and I fell easily.

There’s nowhere to run, there’s no place to go, I can only surrender what’s left within me to the alter of the one above. I beg and plead to put the pieces back together. I beg and plead to make me whole. The one above is powerful and through the grace of His love and peace, the pieces can be made whole again. God above will mend the heart, but the scars will remain. As Christ rose from the dead for the defeat of eternal death, the scars remained, proof of the past, so thus we must keep our scars.

I question my past and my present yet no answers come. I never thought the day would come when the world would crack in two, but on the day it did I cried to the heavens I was sorry for any mistakes I made, I was sorry for my part in the tragedy. The Lord above forgives the repenting heart. The Lord above feels what we feel, sees what we see, and when we break He breaks.

With my still broken heart, the good Lord heals, but the mending of a broken heart takes time. We feel so deeply sometimes and it takes time to mend, to fix the broken code in the programming. When you feel like you’re crashing make sure you reach towards the Lord. When my day came, when I crashed, I hit Cnt-Alt-Del, and watched as the lights went out.

“At first I was afraid, I was petrified, kept thinkin’ I could never live without you by my side, but then I spent so many nights how you did me wrong, I grew strong, and I learned how to get along.” (I Will Survive)

I will survive. One day my prison will crumble and I will yet again have freedom. When that day comes it will be a sigh of relief. Remember that the true freedom is the freedom over sin, the blood that was paid for, for our sin by our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. While we are told we will face our own trials, we will have to take up our own cross, we too our promised our battled and our own scars. The scars will always be there as a reminder of where we came, and what we’ve survived. Embrace the scars because no matter how bad it was, you survived and now have a story to tell.

One day I will tell my story, and while it will have its ups, it’ll have its downs, it’ll have it’s laughs, and it’ll have it’s tears, but it will always have God at the center. The day will come when the morning comes and the chains will burn away and the pain won’t be able to keep you bound anymore. “All I know is I’m not home yet, this is not where I belong. Take this world and give me Jesus, this is not where I belong.” (Building 429)

My heart shattered that day, the world shook and went dark, the blood was spilt, the tears flooded the ground, but the hand of Jesus was there reaching down towards me and lifted me up. Never stop fighting the fight, never stop healing, and never stop moving forward. The power of the Lord can heal any wound and we need that healing touch.

Lord you made me feel so shiny and new, you picked me up, dusted me off and stood me up. While I may be within my own cage, while I am still watching from behind these chains, I know that one day they will fall away. Faith, it’s what we have, it’s what I have. One day the Son will return and when the day comes, I will be ready to return home.

 

 

The Serenity Prayer

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
As it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
If I surrender to His Will;
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life
And supremely happy with Him
Forever and ever in the next.

Amen.

We in our life often have a hard time with many of our daily trials. I have often found comfort in the Serenity Prayer. First, what does serenity mean? The online definition is “he state of being calm, peaceful, and untroubled.” Even those who are devout Christians can have a hard time letting go of the stress and worry that come with tough situations. While we all have our day to day struggles, some people deal with ‘stress’ better then others. I’ve had my share of exemplary displays of problem solving, and I’ve had some very atrocious displays. We know that we will face trials, those trials will place us on a path to either teach us something, prepare us for something later on down the line, or alter our path. In some scientific circles there’s a theory that for every possible outcome that could happen, actually does happen. While this may or may not be true, if you are God, and you allow mankind to have free will, then there has to be some aspect of that, that might be true, even if God is the only one that can see every possible outcome. We have the opportunity every instance to make Godly decisions. No matter how far down a path, you can choose a different path. There are always options even if we don’t see all of them. Think about what God sees. He wants us to give us every opportunity to follow Him. He wants us to have a relationship with Him so envision every possibly action you may make, and consider the eyes of God seeing every path all at once. How big God is compared to us. I’ve often thought that God will always attempt to get you back on track by giving you chance after chance to get back on track, but with freedom of choice, multiple outcomes must be available, which means God can see every possible outcome, which means, every possible outcome must exist.

Now that I’ve gotten off on a major tangent, I’ll get back to my original point. I often hear people say I don’t have a choice, or I didn’t have a choice, and me myself have said and gone done that road more often then I would care to admit. One thing I’ve learned, even if I don’t always put it into practice is, just because we can’t see an outcome, or see the many paths in front of us, doesn’t mean they aren’t there. We can never know how every situation will end, and we never know truly what tomorrow will bring. We must learn to live our lives one day, one moment at a time. Be proactive sure, but always try to make your choices based on a Godly path. Surrender your worries, your doubts, and your troubles to the Lord. Ask constantly for guidance and believe that the path will illuminate before you when you are truly seeking a righteous path. The right path won’t always be the path of least resistance, but when we follow the Lord we will be given the compass to follow.

Getting rid of worries, and doubt, stress, and frustrations, isn’t easy. It helps to remind yourself daily of the serenity prayer like using the same muscle over and over again, you will eventually build muscle memory and it will become easier. Don’t live your life under a permanent cloud of misery. Allow yourself to be free from that and find the joy in life no matter what situation you find yourself in. Philippians 4:11 “Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.”

 

 

 

 

Blind Spot

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

Blind Spot

For the last year I have had a blind spot when it comes to one facet of my life. I have apparently duplicated my suffering by not learning a lesson years ago. My hope has always been to see the best in people, even when the best in them has not been shown. I have put aside pain, suffering, wicked behavior, I have allowed lies to pass through my ears and still I have given the benefit of the doubt.

Over the majority of my life I have often allowed people more then one chance at my heart. In fact to be brutally honest with myself, I’ve allowed a few people more then several chances. I’ve been hurt more then my share by people I’ve continued to allow being in my life. While I would have been considered to be the one at fault for allowing someone who had a history of ‘flip flopping’ their position, yes, when it comes to love, I would say I am stubbornly blind.

While 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 speaks about what love truly is, it’s also important to know that at some point while we may love our neighbor, while we may love someone, when that person does nothing but hurt you over and over again, you must learn, like I am still trying to learn, to let them go. We must learn how to not force our will upon others, we must learn to be patient and allow God’s will to come to fruition. I don’t know what the path I’m on is meant to accomplish, but having faith in the creator of the plan, I must realize I’m just a character in someone else’s book. Like it or not I am not in control of the vast majority of what goes on within my life. All I can do is learn to react to each changing moment and try must best to be a Godly man.

While my hope for others and the ones I care about may not be the smartest thing I’ve done, I often see the worst in the world, but see the best in my love, and ignore the bad they do. I can no longer sit idly by and allow myself to be put into harms way over and over again. I have failed myself and the heartbreak I have led myself to over and over again must stop. Divorce is hard on anyone. Perhaps that this is my second divorce, and the second affair I’ve weathered, the family I lost, and the hopes I had to rebuilding it are now utterly gone. For every winter there becomes a spring, and with that spring fresh life. Sometimes in our lives we have to take the blinders off and see the world and ‘someone’ for who and what it really is. We must learn to see the world beyond our narrow view. We must learn to see people for who they are and not who we want them to be.

“You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.” (Dark Knight Return) While I firmly believe the idea that this may be the case, it certainly has been in my life. The hero’s in my life have become the villains in my story. (Excluding Jesus) Never forget the true hero in our life died upon the cross to save us all from a horrible forever death. While in our life we may meet police officers, firefighters, or soldiers, all of which could be considered heroes, eventually all manner of men will fail you. Sometimes in life the Devil wins and as any true strategist knows, some battles once lost cannot be salvaged. If a battle cannot be won sometimes a retreat and regroup must be made in order to win the war. Never forget the bondage of sin may have been broken, but the war is far from over. Remember to fight the good fight and win what we can. As for me, I know that no matter how dark and cold the winter is, there’s always a way to get colder, and darker. I’m not certain if my winter is over, or if the deepest winter is still coming, but either way, God will provide the path and the direction, and any and all of us can follow, when the blinders come off.

 

Trust But Verify

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

Trust But Verify

In the last year in my life I have been seeking some sign, any sign to show me I’m not what I thought about myself after my separation. Often times when you are the victim of an affair you question your self worth. You question if anyone would ever love you. You question what was wrong with you, what you could have done that was so bad to push the one who loved you away.

In the time I’ve been alone I have met a few people on social media, a variety of social dating sites. A couple years ago I made the mistake of trusting someone I met online. I considered myself a smart person. I was asked for help and I said I wouldn’t do anything to put my family or me at risk. I was told the money would be transferred into my account, and I’d just have to send the cash western union. When the cash arrived in the account I waited 2 weeks the first time before I touched it. The way the scam works is send some ligit money to gain trust. The next deposits wouldn’t be watched so closely, and the withdrawal would happen sooner. The banks would catch the fake funds and the bank would blame the account that was overdrawn, not the depositing source. Ever since then I have believed heavily in the phrase “Trust But Verify”. Coincidently that phrase is also routed in scripture. 1 John 4:1 “Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world.”

The wolf looking for pray will often look and sound like a sweet innocent sheep. What looks like a gift from God may not be a gift at all, but a message from Satan. Even when the most sincere looking person comes into your life and it feels like the greatest gift in the world, I would say the same, trust but verify. If life has taught me anything when you’re a soldier for Christ you never know how long the Devil will try to infiltrate into your life. Even if you are able to verify someone’s motives, the Devil’s motives will always remain. He tries to defile the righteous and sometimes he is able to sway the hearts and minds of those we care about. While I firmly believe in everyone’s ability to change and seek redemption that isn’t always the case. The truth is war changes a person. Sometimes in war there are casualties, but in this war there are no innocent lives. This war for the very souls of mankind the Devil takes no prisoners and no one is safe. Once the Devil finds a loose thread he pulls until an entire life is unraveled. He thrives in the chaos and the rubble that’s left behind after his well-placed sabotages are implemented.

When we are given a gift from God we must cherish it, nurture it, guard it, protect it every day to try our best from allowing the thing that we love the most in this world from being used against us. This is a hard lesson I’ve had to learn. Just because something is a gift doesn’t mean one mans gift isn’t another’s weapon. One man turned my ex wife, but the strings being pulled were the Devils. Sure there’s always free will, but the Devil knows our hearts and He knows just how to get to each of us. The Devil fights to pull us away by using our weaknesses against us. For me that was the need to be accepted, and the need to be loved by family and friends. Take that away from me, and you find me where I was in September of last year. Lost, broken, and alone. The deceiver knew just how to hurt me the most, and hurt me He did. For that instant I fell to my knees and looked at my life without hope. The pain caused was more then I felt I could bare and we can’t survive long without hope.

Look toward heaven and thank God for the blessings in your life. When a gift shows up in your life, do your due diligence to verify it’s origin. Not all may be as it appears. We are taught to have faith in the things that we cannot see, but no where does it ever say to have blind faith.