You Wanna Know How I Got These Scars?

You Wanna Know How I Got These Scars?

Have you ever looked in the mirror and noticed the scars you have? I have scars I see every day when I look in the mirror. My body is covered with scars from years of unfortunate accidents, injuries, and just a result of a rough life. I don’t just see the physical scars in the mirror but the emotional ones also. I was told recently that the traumas and trials I’ve faced are enough for maybe 3 peoples lifetimes. I had never really thought about it like that before. All I think about is how horrible it’s been sometimes, if I think about them at all. One of the things I was very good at was not dealing with my emotional pain. I tried to bury it and run away forgetting where I put it. Sadly, when it comes to grief and pain, you can’t outrun it. What you bury will come back to haunt you, and it’s usually pretty angry when it does. I recently wrote a blog post talking about running from grief. https://thearrowpreacher.wordpress.com/2018/05/29/man-on-the-run/ I won’t be rehashing an old topic. Instead in this post, I’ll be discussing how to use those scars to your advantage.

In 34 ish years I’ve seen a lot of things, and I’ve been to a lot of places. I’ve seen the world from the 3rdworldview, and I’ve seen the world from a luxury hotel downtown Chicago. No matter where I’ve gone one thing has been certain, the Holy Spirit has been right there with me the whole time. From the age of a little kid I have felt the Holy Spirit with me. I have moved through life feeling the Holy Spirit, yet running from an obvious calling within my life. Most of my life I have felt as if something were missing. I have felt a sense of lacking and never quite feeling useful. I have lacked purpose in my life. I thought my purpose was to be a good friend, a good husband, but although in my biased opinion, I am a good friend, and I am a good husband, or more accurately was a good husband, I now realize something new. For each scar I have a story. Each story is a chance to reach out to someone in need. Purpose will always be, where God is sending you. Today, I sit here thinking about each one of my scars mental and physical, and I have slowly started to realize what the purpose after all these years may have been.

When I think back to a man with scars I am reminded of the Apostle Paul. He suffered a great deal of physical torment throughout his ministry. Through the book of Acts you see Paul’s struggles. You see him get beaten, shipwrecked, stoned, hunted, imprisoned, and yet as he talks about how far he’s come. Galatians 6:17“17 From now on let no one cause me trouble, for I bear on my body the marks of Jesus.” I for one cannot imagine the pain he must have been in every day. In a time where most serious injuries would likely cripple or kill someone, he managed to keep going despite his injuries. It wasn’t as if they could go to the nearest CVS or Walmart and get Tylenol. Not being able to set broken bones, or take anti inflammatory, or even penicillin must have made healing very difficult. Here’s a man that literally took beatings and  torture for God, never once throwing up his hands and saying, ‘Nope, I made it all up, Jesus was a nobody.’ Even till Paul’s dying day, scars and all, he maintained his position that Jesus Christ was the Son of God, the truth the way the light. His scars were his testimony and what a testimony he had! I have spent a lifetime wondering why I’ve been through so much. I’ve often sat in the dark, yelling to God to answer my questions. After 34 years I may have finally gotten the answer I have been waiting for.

When you pick up your cross you will find persecution. In persecutions you will find both physical and emotional scars are part of the journey. Scars are sometimes badges of honor when we are a blessing to Jesus. Our scars are a reminder of where we’ve been, and a lesion learned no matter what caused the scar. Sometimes a scar is gained by playing with friends. Sometimes a scar is from someone doing unspeakable things to you. No matter where your scars are from, either good or bad, we can always take away some kind of lesson. I’ve seen many people after a trauma turn cold and bitter towards the people around them. I can’t say I’m innocent either. I have become angry when I’ve been hurt. I’ve seen people destroy lives, destroy families after suffering from loss. We will always have scars, but as a sword in the fire, we will either become brittle and break, or become strong and sharp. True courage is to face the pain, and face the troubled waters with honor and dignity and above all else, faith that God will use that pain for good, not for more suffering.

I have scars from surgeries, everything from knee, to hernia, to tonsillectomy, to cervical spine fusion, and more. I have emotional scars from death, from relationships, from war, and much more. When I look in the mirror I see a man who’s endured much, and yet I still stand. I face the world with hope, and with agape (love) in my heart for those around me. Even as I was going through a horrible divorce with my ex wife, and while there were things said and done that were beyond awful, I stood by her side and endured the pain and hardships. Now after all that time, we are talking, we spend time together, and we have a pretty amazing friendship. All the pain that was endured has allowed me to be there for her, now when she needs it. Living with Christ in your heart, loving deeply and not just what this world considers love anymore, is not an easy venture but God is watching and he will bless you for it. Pain is a hard thing to be stuck with, especially if you don’t know why, and you don’t know what to do with it. But I say to you, there is hope, and there is purpose. You will have to turn to God with love and prayer, and surrender in your heart. You will have to allow God to hold you up, and you will have to surrender over a piece of your self. Jesus Christ can heal your heart if you let Him. Jesus is always with you, and you just need to ask, and accept that without Christ we are nothing, but with Christ we are royalty to paradise. We are all soldiers, and with our scars of battle, we choose to surrender to the Devil, or fight for the throne in Heaven.

I was thinking back to an old post I wrote, and an old Sermon by Dr. David Chambers of my church. Why was our savior brought into this world as a baby? It was so that he would grow, and live among us, so we could relate to Him on a deep intimate level. His life had pain, and losses, and poverty, just like many of us. He survived the baby massacre, and then lost his Dad Joseph early in his life. He would grow to preach and teach God’s word, and when the time came he was tortured horribly, to just an inch of his life, and then he carried a heavy tree for a few miles, just to be placed on that tree and hung for all the world to see. Christ suffered horribly for each and every one of us, so we may one day live to live in eternal salvation. “Living is not for the weak.” (Arrow)It takes great courage to live with pain. It takes courage to find a path where you can use your pain for good rather then evil. How many stories have you seen or heard that started off with the villain saying ‘I was done wrong, so I’m going to make them pay.’ Or something along those lines anyway. Emotional pain is a strong motivator and it can cause good people to do awful things. Every one of us is capable of great things, or completely evil things. When we use our pain to heal from the truth written on those pages in scripture, then we are on the path to enlightenment.

Under the right situations your pain and suffering may be used to inspire and help others. I for one am starting to realize that all my life has been training. All the hardships I’ve faced and it being mostly traumatic incidences has given me the unique perspective to understand the nature of that kind of pain. I understand the pain of loosing a loved one to divorce. I’ve lost people in my life before, but my marriage this time was one of the hardest. The unfortunate event that occurred the day I found out my wife was leaving would forever be a day of great tragedy for me. That fateful day I succumbed to the pain and suffering that I spent so much effort running from. I’m ashamed of myself, and I still have a hard time believing it was me that day, but I have the scar to show for it. Today when I think back at my scars, I think now, how can I help others? How can I help prevent what happened to me, happen to anyone else? As I have been looking into my future since my security job imploded I have been led to believe ministry is my true calling. For years I looked at the ministry to be for someone much smarter, much braver, and much more people friendly. God uses the most unlikely of people sometimes to do His work. I have heard from many in ministry about running from their calling and how miserable their life was the whole time. Ministry is perhaps one of the hardest things to do, with some of the most stress in any job. Ministry comes with some of the most emotional drain out there, but people are genuinely happier, despite the level of stress that comes with.

I realized my traumas have been preparing me to help others get through theirs. Through most of my incidences I didn’t have a therapist, or a chaplain there to help me through. I was left to navigate the minefield, and as it became more and more dense with each passing trauma, I was bound to step on a landmine. When I finally stepped on one, and I ended up in the hospital, I was faced with a fundamental change in my life. It was the beginning of the end of a path I had been on for 7 years of a career, and 32 years of my life. Through it wasn’t easy for me to face facts, eventually, that closure would come from God as my job in security would end abruptly and with finality. I know many of you have endured great pain and suffering, and you can’t see any reason why you were made to suffer. First off let me say that there are a lot of reasons we are hurt. Sin is the most likely for most. Health is next in line. Then lastly personal choice to make bad decisions causes many of our struggles. No matter what flavor of pain you have, know that it is up to you to find a scriptural purpose for it. I have decided that my vast knowledge of all kinds of different pain and trauma makes Christian Crisis Counseling a perfect job for me. I can use my pain and suffering to inspire and guide others through their crucibles. I have chosen to embrace my pain instead of running from it. I have chosen to use my pain instead of burying it. If I can use my experience to help God’s people, it would be a sin not to.

I have run from God’s calling into ministry my whole life, and there’s always been something missing. I’ve always struggled with depression, and even though I’m not perfect and sometimes I still have my bad days, I am driven to continue my growth in the Lord. I pray to God to continue to show me my path, and to give me grace and mercy along the way. I fully expect the Devil to try and break me down during my journey, and any journey towards chaplaincy or pastoral ministry is going to fall under attack by the Devil. If we are going to follow in Christ we must live differently, so we can show others a different way to live. We must be productive in our faith, and not squander our experiences. I think of the things a father teaches a son. A father teaches their child how to treat others, how to be a responsible person, and how to love. They teach them how to do things around the house, how to hunt, and fish, and throw a baseball. But more importantly a Christian father will teach their kids, rather train their kids to be in Christ. I didn’t have a father growing up and I missed out on a lot of important lesions and experiences, but now I look to my Heavenly father for guidance and love, and approval. I have hidden behind my scars for so long, now I have to learn to embrace them and use them to help others. It won’t be an easy road, and I suspect there will be days when I will feel the weight of my decisions, but as Paul said to Timothy, I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. I too shall join that fight in ministry as I start my path to chaplaincy, and God willing maybe more.

There are days when my scars hurt, but I know God won’t ever leave me, He won’t ever forsake me, and I know now, my scars were not in vein. We must learn to see beyond our own pain, and trust that in all things we go through God is working it out so we may find peace, not sorrow. We live in a fallen world so pain and trials will come, but we don’t have to let it destroy us. I challenge each and every one of you to go out there and find your purpose in Gods plan. It’s likely your scars are for a purpose and that you can use them for good. Your scars can give you strength and understanding in areas perhaps others cannot. I challenge you to stop running from God and embrace your gifts and your life experiences. Pass on what you have learned, and remember failure is the greatest teacher you will ever have. Use your failures to help others see. Never give up on yourself because Christ wont’ ever give up on you.

 

 

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God Are You There?

God Are You There?

Have you ever prayed and wondered if your prayers are being heard? In my life I’ve wondered just that. Scripture tells us that God hears every thought, every whisper, every cry, and angry outburst, but sometimes it’s felt as if my pleas have landed on deaf ears. I’ve been down to the woodshed more times at the receiving end of life’s cruel lessons. I’ve been beaten, betrayed, and kicked while I was down. Through it all I’ve prayed, and still I was burdened with shackles of pain and suffering. I have called upon my Heavenly father time and time again, and I have waited for an absolution, sometimes that would never come.

I have walked a long way, and still I have struggled from time to time to trust in where God leads me. I feel as if I’m lead into the valley more often then I am peaceful streams, or green pastures. I have tried to live a life as a sinner in a world where I would still make Abba proud of me. I have prayed for many years for the blessings in my heart, and yet still to this day I am missing desires. I turn to scripture in my time of need in hopes to find what I seek. James 1:5 “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.”We must have trust in the Lord that despite our shortcomings, and despite the hardships we face, the Lord our God is always by our side. 2 Chronicles 7:14“if my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.” God will bless us, but first we need to realize how important that open door relationship is.

God is not first and foremost a cosmic genie for our amusement. God is not a universal Santa Clause to give us the gifts of our hearts whenever we ask for them. God is our father, our creator, and should be treated as such. God answers to no one, and we are but a speck of infinitesimal dust to God. God loves us, but we must first open the door. When we are frustrated, scared, or hurting it’s almost a normal reaction to turn to God, but how often do we as a people pray when things are good? How often do we pray to praise and worship our Lord, in times of celebration? “How am I supposed to show love for somebody, over and over and over, who constantly rejects me?”(Fireproof) Is the cross offensive to us? Do we truly understand the Lord and the sacrifice made of us? I understand what was done for me, and I still struggle some days. God is always there waiting for us, but it’s hard sometimes for God to help us when we don’t want His help. We are stubborn, we are ungrateful, and we rarely show God the gratitude of a people that has been given life itself.

We expect God to be there for us in our times of crises but we reject him every other day of the year. We expect God to grant us our selfish desires, our prayers, which we pray for the wrong reasons. Luke 18:1“And he told them a parable to the effect that they ought always to pray and not lose heart.” We must not loose heart for the Lord to hear us when we pray for the right reasons. We must not be selfish in our lives, but servants of Christ. We must try to be pure of heart, and when we come to allow Jesus into our hearts, then, the Lord will be there to bless us for our hard works in his name. It’s not about how much we put into a plate, or how many times we go to the homeless shelter, it’s the reasons we do it. Are we doing it to try to rack up cosmic brownie points, or do we do it because we are truly called to do so? Pray and be faithful to the Lord, and never loose heart. Pray and be heard when you remove yourself and let God in. James talks about praying with the wrong motives and how dangerous it can be. We must turn to God every day in the storm, in the celebration, in the sun or in the snow. Pray because as Jesus commended his Spirit to the Lord for us, we should be on our knees in gratitude because we would be nothing but walking dead had Jesus not given his blood for us. God’s there, and He’s listening, but are you asking the right questions? God’s always there for us, but are we letting God into our hearts? It’s a choice we must make, and when God calls upon us, do we look at the number and decide to ignore the phone? I’d be willing to guess, most people do. Imagine how much better this world would be if we would take a moment and let God speak to us. The choice is yours though, the power of free will says you don’t have to listen to God at all, but what an opportunity you’re missing out on. Pick up the phone, and listen when God calls.

 

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Got the Blues

Got the Blues

Psalm 42:9-11“I say to God, my rock: “Why have you forgotten me? Why do I go mourningbecause of the oppression of the enemy?” 10 As with a deadly wound in my bones, my adversaries taunt me, while they say to me all the day long, “Where is your God?” 11 Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.”

 Have you ever been stuck and you don’t know where to go? Have no fear for God has a plan. Even David a man after Gods own heart felt deep depression and he was King of a nation. He had wealth, power, women, friends, and yet depression still taunted him like a splinter. We will have feelings come and go. Depression is often from a chemical imbalance, not a lack of faith. There are ways to combat depression and it starts in the word. We must study the word but we must practice what we hear and learn. If we hear but not do, it’s meaningless. James 1:22-24 “But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. 23 For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. 24 For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like.” We must always pray but do. We cannot sit and just expect something to change. This isn’t to be confused with having patience. Patience is a state of mind, moving carefully, strategically. Isaiah 26:3-4You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. 4 Trust in the Lord forever, or the Lord God is an everlasting rock.” We must have peace in our minds, and put our faith and trust in all things in the Lord. If we start saying things like, “this problems to small for God to worry about.” Or “This problems to big, God can’t help me with this.” We don’t understand God.

Depression can come for anyone of us. It’s a silent assassin that attacks from the darkness in our minds. It’s destroyed homes, families, friendships, and is completely indiscriminant. Attacking your mood, your body, your joy, it leaves destruction in its wake. The devastation of depression is very real and very tangible. When bad things happen because of your depression, it can pile more negativity and often makes matters worse. Let me tell you though, there is hope and it’s your for the taking.

The first thing to do is seek medical attention. The mind is as fragile as any bone and when a trauma happens it’s important to do the same triage as any other injury. We all suffer from pain and doubts. We all have insecurities, but where there is pain, there is also hope. Never forget the saving power of Christ. Never forget where true peace comes from. Jesus Christ is the rock in which we build our foundation.

Remember the Lord is with you, in that foxhole. When the war comes to your front door the Lord forever stand by your side. Deuteronomy 31:8“8 It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” When your heart cries to the Lord, do not feel abandoned if your prayers aren’t answered as fast as you’d like. In God’s time and in God’s way He will give you what you need. Not necessarily what you want. Psalm 34:17“When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles.”

 I think one big thing we do when we’ve got the blues is push everyone away. We say no one knows us, or understands our pain. We push away and we stay in the anguish. We must learn to use every resource God gives us because it’s a gift from God. God created people to understand the mind, who understands how to fix cars, who understands the human heart, and thus gives us people we need to get better. At the top of all things we need is Jesus Christ. We are nothing without Christ, and we cannot truly find what we seek without Him. We can try, but we will always fail. We will find temporary fixes, solutions, but they are worldly and thus will eventually fail us. Find peace in the Lord and watch as He gives us exactly what we need. Just because it seems like all the odds are against you, and just because it doesn’t seem like there’s anyway to win the battle, never stop fighting. With God on our side even when it’s 1000 to 1, we have the sovereign of the universe on our side, so never give up.

Freedom Hymm, By: Austin French

I push, I pull

Go back and forth finding myself pounding on a locked door

I try to make it out alone without your help

But I know I’ll never win this war

I can never be, never be, free without you

I can never be, never be, me without you

This is the sound of chains breaking

This is the beat of a heart changing

This is a song of a soul forgiven

This is my freedom hymn

This is my freedom hymn, my freedom hymn

This is my freedom hymn, my freedom hymn

I breathe the air of freedom in knowing my life

Is better off in Your hands

The past is gone, what’s done is done

Now I’m alive

And I’m never gonna look back

I can never be, never be, free without you

I can never be, never be, me without you

 

 

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Baby Don’t Hurt Me No More

Baby Don’t Hurt Me No More

Hebrews 11:1-3“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. 2 For by it the people of old received their commendation. 3 By faith we understand that the universe was created by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things that are visible.” We walk by faith because our eyes deceive us. We walk by faith because sometimes we have nothing else. When the world is tops turby and we cannot see, we must trust in the Lord to deliver us. Wherever God has us go we must trust our divine purpose. More then trust the where, is the why. It’s hard, and we often cry out in pain, and we beg it to stop, but in the words of Captain James T. Kirk. “I need my pain!” (The Final Frontier) 

Pain comes to all who walk this Earth. Pain is an inevitablility that we don’t like to think about, but it’s an undeniable reality. Since the fall of Eden in Genesis 3: 19b“till you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken: for you are dust, and to dust you shall return.”And further Genesis 3:2424 He drove out the man, and at the east of the garden of Eden he placed the cherubim and a flaming sword that turned every way to guard the way to the tree of life.”God said we would suffer for food for what we have we must forever work hard, Genesis 3:6-7.It wasn’t just sin that entered the world with the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge, it was also evil. Now it must be understood that evil existed prior to the fall from Eden. This is seen in the conversation between Satan and Eve. Sin is the gateway to evil in many ways. It’s largely in our own pain comes. When selfish desire out weighs love, people get hurt. When we no longer take into account how our actions affect others, people close to us can get hurt.

In my personal life I have often asked Abba to deliver me from my pain. I have gone to Him in prayer, and begged for absolution. I have often wondered how long I would be made to wait. How I could get to where I needed to be, so I could walk on the right path? I’ve come to realize perhaps my path is to wait. Perhaps what I desire most hasn’t come into my life yet because whomever it is may not be ready in their walk. Realizing this, and trying to look at the bigger picture of life as a Chess game, I realize that in order to mount an attack, or even a defense, pieces need to be moved to the right place, and that doesn’t happen all at once. So I now sit, more patient in my self, and more trusting of the greatness that is God’s plan. Waiting is always the worst and hardest part, especially for those personality types that feel they have to be moving, doing things in order to get what they want.

Being hurt in a relationship is hard. When it seems a love has been destroyed by lust and lies and others sins, it’s impossible not to feel pain. I have a secret for you. Pain can be managed and will diminish in time. When we put our faith in God and trust a path, we can begin to heal. Forgiveness is a big part of healing, but also a major roll in relationships. Without forgiveness, scores are kept, and when arguments ensue that thing you forgot to do 6 years ago is now being used as a weapon. When we feel wounded or trapped we as humans like to lash out with insults designed to cut the deepest. If you don’t want to hurt anymore, I’m sorry to say there’s no quick fix. I recently knew someone that was going through a divorce. They thought they were ready to move forward, and I was sure to ask multiple times if they were ready for that, and every time was a yes. Sadly when the time came and they were connecting with someone they met, the cold feet, fear, and doubt crept in. they bowed out abruptly, and sadly leaving hurt feelings behind.

We may not be able to avoid pain from others all the time, not if we want to actively engage in human relationships. We can however be more careful with whom we get close to. When living in sing actively, it’s like playing hot potato with a grenade. It’s going to go off and anyone in the area will be affected. Ownership of the grenade doesn’t matter anymore because it affects everyone around. Much of our anguish is brought on by our own decisions. When I worked security at a local mall I often saw teenage girls crying in the office waiting for local law enforcement. They were caught shop lifting and now they were going to face those consequences. If you don’t want the pain and embarrassment perhaps doing sinful things isn’t for you.

Our paths change with every decision we make. Our choices are the rudder of our ship. When we sin in a big way we are thrown off course in a big way, but it’s because we threw the wheel knocking ourselves off course. If someone else sins it’s like being hit by a wave. Of course the bigger their sinful choice the bigger the wave. No matter the impact we are still captain of our own ships. We choose how we live our lives by the decisions we make. How we deal with the storms when the come, is still on us, and how well we manage our own ship. While a storm may damage your ship, Jesus says to ‘not to be afraid, for the Lord is with you.’ Do not doubt but be courageous in your walk. Trust in the Lord to lead you wherever you are meant to be. You may travel to the ends of the Earth and fight mighty battles, but god is with you. Do not get stuck in the pain. Instead learn to forgive and keep marching on. Do not grow weary in your grief instead turn that into motivation. Embrace the pain because you must face it to deal with it. One day the pain of this world will end and the day Jesus calls you home. Genesis 15:1“After these things the word of the Lord came to Abram in a vision: “Fear not, Abram, I am your shield; your reward shall be very great.” Let God be your shield, your protection, your rock, your foundation.

 

 

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Giving Yourself Away

Giving Yourself Away

It starts of small, just once, just a little bit, and that’s when it takes hold. We give up one small piece of our principles, and then another, and before long the black and white becomes gray. The fall doesn’t always happen quickly, sometimes it’s a slow moving enemy that creeps along scrapping at your heart a little at a time.

We often stand on our principles determined not to give in to temptations of this fallen world. We see the fall happening all around us. We see public figures from government to Hollywood getting caught with their principles around their ankles. We see politicians accepting bribes, actors turning to drugs and more and more sex candles rock the new like never before. We have watched as our nation endures the slow fade in what is now accepted on this earth and ignoring the once proud biblical principles we once stood strong on.

We face temptations and the first time we tell ourselves ‘It’s okay, just this once.” We have taken the step into the quicksand. Sin can be described many different ways. Sometimes a major event can alter perceptions, but I like to think those circumstances are more rare. I think sin is more like boiling a frog. The water is cool when the frog is dropped in so the frog doesn’t notice anything is wrong. As the water heats (as sing grows and spreads) by the time the frog realizes anything is wrong it’s too late, the damage is done. (We find ourselves buried under the mound of sin.)

So many marriages that end due to affairs you see the near identical timelines. “It started off very innocent and we were just friends.” The slow draw of sinful lust can creep in untamed yet slowly as to not draw attention to the danger ahead. Most affairs could be snuffed out with a single choice to walk away. The little steps that make the right and wrong to an ambivalence for those their actions may affect. The truth is sin attacks at each of our hearts differently. The choices we made “there’s a price to be paid, people never crumble in a day.”(Slow Fade, Third Day)

I’ve lived with a broken heart twice as I’ve seen thoughts betray a promise made but not kept. I’ve watched the life I had crumble away. The heart was betrayed, lied to by desire, fooled by lust, and choices made destroyed so much more then a home. I’ve seen drugs take hold of people’s lives with the lies and promises that the substance make them feel better. But eventually the affects of the drugs wear off and more is needed. Then more, and before you know it you’re chasing one high to the next unable and unwilling to handle life. What seemed benign at first slowly turned to tear down the walls of everything you held most dear.

Do now allow the darkness to grab hold. Don’t allow yourself to fall victim to the thoughts that pull you away from Christ. Once down the dark path though hope is never lost, you don’t want the veiled promises. You can’t trust the lies, the whispers from the Devil. The price paid for the retched path is high. “The bill comes due, always.” (Dr. Strange) We don’t need to face those horrible consequences if we stay on the path laid out by Christ. Turn away form lies, and turn away from adultery. Stay away from hate, and don’t give into the fear. We must learn to praise God in the sun, or the rain. We must pray joy, peace, love, but if there’s a storm we must we must pray that no matter where we find ourselves we do it all for the glory of God.

God shines down from heaven today, and no matter what your situation is on this day, raise your hands to the sky, praise Jesus for the life we have. Find hope that the storm will settle, or the meadow is peaceful. Wherever the road takes you today, trust and praise Jesus. While you draw breath there is always hope. Never give up hope on God for the calm waters might be just around the river bend.

Explosive Memories

Explosive Memories

I try not to think about it most of the time. I remember the sounds, the sights, even the smell of sulfur. I can remember each incident and as much as I try not to think about it, there are days. The struggle for veterans returning home from war can vary differently from one to the next. For me I have spent years facing my demons. Behind every uniform is a story. My story hasn’t ended, but my time in uniform has. The wounds left behind leave scars and those don’t ever go away. I can remember one explosion after another, and from the way it feels as the blast goes through you. I remember the fear I would face while on patrol, trying to stay focused, but in those memories, I sadly brought them home with me. My time in war fundamentally changed me, and because of that, because of how I was changed, I find some days I struggle to enjoy some of the same things other people like.

The other day I was driving to work and found myself in a traffic jam. Most people would perhaps be a little frustrated, but me, there’s a level of fear, and that fear turns to anger. I am terrified of sitting in traffic because I am not in control at all. I am afraid of being caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. I am afraid of the trash on the side of the road. I’m afraid of the crowds I encounter while I’m out in public. I’m afraid of the movie theater. I’m afraid of the mall. I’m afraid of being caught ill prepared. In my life I have spent a lot of time focusing on the what ifs, planning for the emergencies to be as prepared as possible. I have to hope that in the darkness of this world, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Revelation 21:4“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

 John 16:33“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” In my day, I am haunted by the memories of my past. I have struggled to let go, and remember that Christ overcame the world. His blood set me free, and though my trials my be today, my Heaven is tomorrow. Living with PTSD isn’t always easy, but we keep pushing forward. Dealing with the day-to-day strife can lead your heart to feel heavy. We must not focus on the cant’s, or why something is too hard, we need to focus on what we can do. John 14:1“Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me.” Though my past and my grief haunt me, I must thank the Lord for the love and mercy that’s placed upon me every day. Jesus has offered me everything, and I can’t let the pain of yesterday turn my focus. The Devil tries to distract me, lie to me, prey on my weaknesses, and I will admit, some days he gets his claws in and it’s all I can do to push him away. Don’t forget the purposes of our true journey. Keep pushing forward and focus on today, not yesterday.

I think back to the day I was something in my own eyes, and when the tornado struck my life and ruin was left in it’s wake, I think back to how foolish I was to think my happiness could last. I placed my self worth on those around me. I placed my happiness in the hands of others, to include family, friends, and my wife. I trusted all the wrong people, and putting my faith in the world, thinking if I walked the walk, talk the talk, prayed the prayers, that I might be spared the hardships of another divorce or worse. The thing is when you are strong in your faith, the Devil attacks, and he attacks, and he’s relentless to see how long he can push you till you break. How much  can you take before you curse God, turn your back, and walk deeper down the dark path.

No matter the hardships you’ve endured, the horrors you’ve seen, you need to remember who the true enemy is at the end of the day. Put not your faith in man for we are fickle and swayed easily, but put your faith in the Lord for God is never changing, and always we are found in God’s love and grace. The road is long, but the blessings of tomorrow outweigh the pain of today.

Bullies

Bullies

Sometimes in life you will encounter a person in power and they will be more or less a bully. I’ve been in situations where I’ve had bosses or supervisors that no matter what I’ve done or tried to do, nothing was ever good enough. I think we’ve all encountered people in our professional lives that just made the work experience near unbearable. A friend recently told me, “you don’t quit jobs, you quit managers.” I had never thought of leaving a job like that before. When I put a little thought into it, I realize that most of the time when I have not liked a job, it turned out to be the boss that made it the worst.

The Devil is a bully. He will push you, lie to you, and attempt to break you. The Devil hates you for all that you are. Isn’t it wonderful though that we have a God that loves us for who we are? We never have to work for that love. We’re not judged with how much we work, or how many brownie points we can get. God is fully aware of what’s in our heart and our motives. It’s the love that matters.

When you encounter a bully in your life there are millions of ways people will tell you to handle them. In my own life I have heard the, ‘just ignore them.’ Advice. I have heard the, ‘make fun of yourself right along with the bully,’. I have heard ‘stand up for yourself, by any means necessary.’ While each one of these is very popular, I would suggest turning to the bible to find your true good advice Matthew 5:43-48“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’44 But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. 46 For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47 And if you greet only your brothers,[a] what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? 48 You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” We cannot allow ourselves to loose sight of God. We must not allow ourselves to succumb to the darkness. Anger, and hate lead to the dark side. We must stand firm. We must never loose control in anger. 2 Timothy 1:7“7 for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”

It’s easy to get wrapped up in our anger and that anger can blind us to the path that’s best for us. That anger and rage that can bubble up from years of torment, or physiological torture, can be hard to control. We must never set out to find our own vengeance though. Violence always begets violence. We cannot expect to change the world by physical means. Romans 12:19-20 “19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it[a] to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” 20 To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” If your bully attacks you, ask if you can pray for them. If they attack you, ask if everything’s okay at home. Bullies often have misguided anger or rage. Do not hate the bully nor pass judgment upon them. We never know someone’s circumstances, and while it never excuses their actions, it may provide some incite. Generally, hurting people hurt others. We cannot allow ourselves to let our tormentors to breach our heart with hate. We must not allow hate to take route in our souls. 1 John 2:9 “Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness.”

We must stand firm on love. Let love be our war cry and in everything we do, and everything we experience trust in the Lord to save you, and pull you through. Psalm 18:3 I ” call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies.” We have to trust in the Lord to deliver us from evil. There will always be bullies for as long as there is anger and hate in this world. Bullies feel the need to be in power. Bullies feel the need to be in control and those in control often feel they have to force their subordinates into submission. Matthew 5:38-41“I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies.” The bullies we have will beat you and hurt you emotionally. They will continue to try to break you down and look forward to seeing you breaking.

We have all encountered these people in our lives. Many have experienced bullying in school, and some in the adult world. Those difficult people are everywhere and in our struggle we must pray to be delivered from the hands of the enemy. Psalm 82:4 “Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked.” No matter the trials that befall you, you get back up and never let your own worth reside by the hands of your enemies. We must remain strong, and trust that we are worth more then what others can make us feel. Proverbs 24:16“for the righteous falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked stumble in times of calamity.” We must always get back up. We know that for every fall we rise in strength, and we can be stronger then before if we learn a lesion with each fall. Finally I will say do not attack your attacker. We must learn and I must reiterate the importance to not attack your attacker. I am not saying do not defend yourself in the event there is a physical altercation, but what I am saying is never attack out of anger. If you are being physically assaulted you should leave that situation and find help, or defend yourself and at the first chance remove yourself from your situation and again go find help. Stand firm in your faith and with love and compassion live your life. 1 Peter 3:8-9“8 Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. 9 Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.”

Born a Slave, Die as Royalty

Born a Slave, Die as Royalty

A baby is born on a beautiful night. The silence of 400 years was broken with a babies cry. This baby would be born into a world where his coming would upset the status quo. He would be hunted for being heir to the throne. He would grow up learning scripture, studying both God, and hard work. He would be a carpenter like his step dad, and would dedicate his life to be a servant. He would serve and heal the sick, give hope to the hopeless, and when he revealed himself as the Son of God, he would be revered as royalty. He was of the royal bloodline of David the rightful heir of Jerusalem. Jesus was so much more then an earthly king. He was the savior of mankind. He was the blood sacrifice that would cover the earth, close the gap between God and man, and forever bring hope upon mankind.

In our pop culture we have many examples of what it means to carry on the family business. Clark Kent, or Kal-El, is the last son of Krypton. He is the hope of the justice league. He is the representation of his people, a people who have long been gone. He represents his race. Bruce Wayne represents his parents, his fallen parents who died tragically when he was just a boy. He stands a figure head of Wayne Enterprises to change the world as a business leader. At night he funnels his rage to find justice for his parents. Diana Prince, the princess of Themyscira. She’s the representative of her people, and she also brings hope to the people, a shining light, a beacon of a brighter tomorrow.

No matter what  profession you belong to, we are all people, born under the father, cleansed by the blood of the savior Jesus Christ. We are responsible for our actions, and as Christians we should be ashamed of how we treat our brothers and sisters. We should feel ashamed with how we represent our birthright. We are children of God, and thus we are royalty. We are heirs to heaven, the kingdom, and we owe it to ourselves to step forward in the best light we can. How the world sees a Christian can change the direction for even one person. We must always put our best foot forward as we carry on the legacy of Christians. We have big shoes to fill, as the Apostils before us gave everything to get the truth of Christ into the world. When was the last time we risked anything to tell others about our Lord and Savior? When was the last time we stood tall on our beliefs? When was the last time we sacrificed anything to get the truth out into the world? We must do better, but more importantly if we are truly to consider ourselves saved by our savior, shouldn’t we want to do better? Shouldn’t we be better in the ways we treat others, and the ways we treat ourselves? Shouldn’t we want to show the world that as a Christian we genuinely are different?

 

It’s time we started acting like royalty instead of the selfish, spoiled brats we act like now. Be the change in this world. Change the world by changing yourself. Change the world by having other see something special in how you act every day. Change yourself, and the rest will follow. Galatians 4:7 “So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God.” Heaven is not just a place, but as a rightful heir to it as a son of God, we have responsibilities to live in Christ, and a commandment we are given is to love our brothers and sisters, love Christ, but also to share the good news with everyone, and spread the word throughout the globe in the Great Commission. We fight a spiritual battle, and much like Superman fighting for Truth, Justice, and the American way, or Batman bringing fear who pray on the fearful in his quest for justice, or Wonder Woman who fights for love, and peace. We who live our life in Christ are heroes to God, and if we can share a little love, inspire just one person, help bringing just one person to the Lord, we are heroes in heaven, and it’s something to rejoice over. Don’t give up hope, keep moving forward, forward always. We are all born into this world as a slave. I myself was born a slave, lived as a soldier, and I will one day die as royalty. Jesus shed blood so we would all be gifted salvation, a blood bond, that would give us heaven, we are children of the King which makes us royalty.

 

 

Which way do I go George?

Which way do I go George?

Have you ever been in a situation where you didn’t know which way to go? When you’ve come to a point in your life when you decide to follow your own path rather then the Lords you are on a road to destruction. In Galatians 4:21-31 scripture talks about the promise verses the law. Are we following our path, or God’s promise? So many years ago Abraham decided God’s timing wasn’t good enough and took his hand madden and had a child out of wedlock. In Abraham’s impatience he didn’t follow God’s plan, and the repercussions from that has been over 2000 years of war. The descendent of that unholy union came Muhammad and thus the war between Muslims and Christians began. We can take a valuable lesion from this and realize since we only see a small sliver of the river, we need to take a step back from ourselves, and understand that God has a proverbial birds eye view of what’s to come, and he is not going to lead us astray.

 

Not to long ago I was in South Carolina and one of the exorcises we were doing was a trust exorcise in which someone was blind folded at a rock wall, and the person behind them was to guide them up the wall telling them where to put their hands and feet. For many reasons this was a very difficult event to accomplish. The fate of the exorcise was in someone else’s hands and that was one thing to let go of that control. The other was how well the person on the ground described the next step and how quickly they gave you the instructions. I don’t think I have to tell you if the person on the ground wasn’t quick enough, or not experienced in climbing, the task was near impossible.

 

When we are at a cross roads in our life, are we listening to God or are we going to do it our own way? I have been single now for some time after my wife left, and I have found that the physical intimacy in a relationship is something I miss. I miss the cuddles on the couch watching a movie. I miss the conversations in bed before falling asleep. I miss the gentle kisses before a good night sleep. While I miss these things a great deal, I have decided to not rush into anything with anyone. While some of the physical intimacy could be found, and probably more, I have decided to listen to the voice in my head that is God telling me to wait. The sins of the flesh have a strong pull, but choosing God will undoubtedly be the better path to travel. We can wonder which way to go, but when we pray about it, and when we take our time, be patient, and trust in the Lord the way will be made clear. We must understand that not every answer or every path will come as quickly or decisively as we’d like. We may not get a giant neon sign flashing which way to go, but if we are in scripture, and we are studying, and we are making decisions based on biblical teaching, the decisions we make should be easier.

 

Having faith in the midst of trouble can be difficult, but no matter what the case may be, we must have faith, have trust, have patience, and be deliberate in our walk with Christ. Trials will come in our life, but every trial is an opportunity to show those around you what walking with Jesus looks like. We are representatives of God’s love and grace, and that comes with a measure of responsibility. Our God is gracious, loving, giving, faithful, trustworthy, and great beyond any measure of human comprehension. Which way do you go? That’s easy, go towards Jesus and never stop. In every decision be intentional and don’t loose sight of our Heavenly Father. He will never leave nor forsake you, so never give up hope. Our way will never end well, but God’s way is always the best way to go. God’s way may not be the easiest way, but it’s the right way. Doing what’s right isn’t always the easiest, but it’s better to make the hard choice to do the right thing, then to forsake your morals and do the easy wrong.

Keeping you Down

Keeping you Down

Have you ever looked at your life and thought, ‘I just can’t get ahead.’? Have you ever thought why that might be? I have a theory on that, and if you’d like to hear it, keep reading.

Our own sinful nature is often a good place to start when it comes to keeping us down. The second place to start is temptations. If you’re an angry child and you don’t get your way you throw a temper tantrum. You make a scene so everyone around can witness the injustice you’ve been dealt. In this case the Devil is the angry child throwing the tantrum. Know that the God who sits on the throne in heaven does not ever tempt us to do wrong. James 1:13 “When tempted, no one should say, ‘God is tempting me.’ For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone” We must learn to see with the eyes gifted by the Holy Spirit and become wise of scripture. Do not allow the ideals of this world to confuse you on the truth. God will allow us to enter into a trial for us to turn to Him, for us to turn to scripture, and for us to call upon the Holy Spirit to guide us in the ways of Christ.

If you are following the path of Sin and constant temptation you are allowing the Devil to tempt you and thus you are not walking in the Lord. If you are not walking in the Lord you have essentially turned your back to God and decided you wanted to do things your own way. If you feel you are not being blessed by  God and God isn’t hearing your prayers perhaps the first thing you need to do is ask if you’re truly walking with Christ or are you walking in the ways of the world. I would hypothesize that most people who are being kept down are actually there of their own accord. I believe that most people who are suffering through hard times, though not all, are actually suffering because of a choice or choices they have made that have led them down that path. Let me us this as an example:(You’re a wife and you decide to have an affair. You decide not to put your marriage first but your lust of another. Then when that fails you decide not to return to your husband who’s waiting with open arms, but continue on the path away from your marriage. You enter into an inappropriate marriage, which could affect your job. You make bad choices with that new person and eventually it costs you your job. From there you then turn to substance to help deaden the pain you face, and eventually leads to a traffic stop in which you are caught. This in turn affects your ability to get a new job, and affects where you live, and even when your husband still accepts you home, you choose not to return.) In this situation it’s clear some bad choices were made, but the biggest thing to take away is the path away from God. God wants a relationship with you, but he will never force his will upon anyone until he decides it’s time to punish his children. Punishment for disobedience will come, and when it does we cannot get mad at the father, we must look to ourselves to ask why we were in a position to get punished. God will never punish us for doing good or for following his path. If we choose to allow the Devil to tempt us, to draw us away then we are allowing ourselves to be drawn down a dark path. We ourselves will be the ones holding back from the blessings of God. The Devil wants to tempt us away, lure us into the van with a yummy piece of candy. The Devil wants to destroy our relationship with the Father because he was God’s favored child till he created humanity. He became jealous and when he turned on God he vowed to rise up and destroy him. He is a jealous son, and he is taking it out on humanity.

If you feel you are being kept down, perhaps you need to evaluate your current situation, your current choices, and then decide if you are walking with God or not. We must accept that our choices will have consequences. Those choices may have a lasting effect on our life and we can’t blame God when things don’t go well. We must understand that we can be the maker of our own struggles and accept that finding a path out may not be easy, and sometimes a choice may haunt us for the rest of our life. We can avoid that if we just walk with God and not the flesh. We often bring most of our own hardships upon ourselves, but not all. Life can be a cruel place and it can be a challenge to live in a peaceful state here on Earth. Have faith in the Lord and be sure to study scripture. Be sure to live in the world but never conform to it. Be sure to praise God for the good and bad, because in the bad we will often learn our most valuable lessons. Do not fear the storm, instead embrace it and come through better then you were. Fight the fight with Jesus by your side and you will find God will never leave you nor will he forsake you. Hold your head high even in the battles, and if you follow God, in time, you will be delivered from the fire and green pastures will be your resting place. Faith is not easy, and living in this fallen world isn’t easy. Temptations are everywhere you turn but learning to see them, and learning to avoid them will be a big step in your Earthly happiness.