Stress – The Arrow Preacher

Rest

January 3, 2025January 3, 2025 thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

Rest

Sometimes we get so overwhelmed with life, so bogged down, so beaten down, we are either forced to rest, or we must get ahead of the game, and rest before we’re forced too. Now is one of those times. Since the hernia surgery in October, life has been fast and furious. The hernia surgery came, then the day later the gas was so overwhelming in my chest and shoulder, to find out about the enlarged aorta, to scheduling heart surgery, to all the appointments prior, and in less than a month the heart surgery. Once the heart surgery was over, the pacemaker, a nine day stay in the hospital, and then more to come. The infection that came, then the rear flank pain, that led to another ED visit, to find the fluid around the heart. The fluid turned out to be blood, meaning my heart was bleeding into the thin sack around the heart, which led to another five days in the hospital. Home life wasn’t restful either. The fireplace in the tent was not ready when I got home from heart surgery, due to a part delay. But then in reality the house itself wasn’t ready for my arrival. To top it off the day I went home from heart surgery, the car broke down and cost almost three thousand dollars to fix. Then the chimney had issues on the fireplace that needed to be fixed. Of course after heart surgery most of that I cannot do myself. in total, of course, none of which is restful. The God of the universe teaches us an important lesson in Genesis, and on the seventh day, God rested. We must take time to rest, to reflect, to give reverence to an almighty God who created the universe and us in it. Each of us, is created by God for a purpose. We are special because God ordained our birth. While we are cursed through sin to work and till the earth, we must also remember that God gave us a time to rest. In the Old Testament we read the Jews had rest on the sabbath. Today, we recognize Sunday as our day of rest. Sometimes though, we need more. So, this very day, I find rest. Rest, that is so needed, my body exhausted, my mind and heart heavy, rest is the cure for what ales me.

I know for some, rest is hard. Even now, I find myself awake in the middle of the night. What prompts this? Many things I suppose, but the biggest is my minds inability to shut down, and simply rest. I think back to everything I’ve gone through, and truly, there is only one bible chapter that comes to mind, Psalm 23 A Psalm of David.

The LORD is my shepherd,

I shall not want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures;

He leads me beside quiet waters.

He restores my soul;

He guides me in the paths of righteousness

For His name’s sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I fear no evil, for You are with me;

Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;

You have anointed my head with oil;

My cup overflows.

Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life,

And I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

— Psalm 23:1-6

Finding rest in a battle is a difficult thing. When I was in Iraq, sleep was never deep. When I was on mission, and on the longer ones when sleep was necessary, on the battle field, I would sleep with my rifle sling wrapped around my arms. The rifle held tight, and my Kevlar on, or nearby. The slightest sound would rouse me awake. My body was always in a state of vigilance and it’s what likely kept me alive. Home isn’t much different really. My vigilance is like a switch stuck in the on position. True rest comes seldom, but when it does, how sweet it is. We as a society don’t take rest seriously. One source shows 120,000 work related stress deaths per year, in the United States. It’s sad really, when you consider that, if we would just take better care of ourselves, many of our health issues wouldn’t be a problem. If we found a better home/work balance, we would see a drastic drop in illnesses.

How do we rest, and relax? Decompression is such an important part of life, yet, at least here in America, it is not something taught in school. We’re taught nothing but work, and work hard. We are taught to test, and every question has only one right answer. We are taught that downtime is bad, and nearly every minute of the day must be filled with something. Even today, we teach kids, that to keep themselves occupied, they watch screens. If you were to ask someone, how long do you sit outside, just to watch the sunset, I would presume the number of people who do, would be low. We don’t sit in nature without a task. Even though some may find it relaxing and decompressive, watching TV is not a great stress release, and here’s why. While I do this myself, we are constantly stimulated by whatever it we watch. The mind, doesn’t rest when we watch TV, or movies. So, in reality, while it may feel like we are decompressing, we truly aren’t. For me, I enjoy building Lego sets, or hiking, photographing very small things in macro settings. I enjoy picnics, and time with friends. I find writing to be fairly relaxing and therapeutic. The key, is to do something relaxing, without having to much stimulus for the mind to be ramped up. Some people enjoy knitting, or crochet. Other’s may enjoy coloring, or drawing. Another thing I enjoy is listening to music, but not with words, unless it’s something like Enya, but instrumental, calming music. Music from James Horner, who composed Titanic, and Braveheart, Beethoven, and other similar artists. When I need to rest, this is what I listen to, or Lofi-Cat on YouTube. I am also a fan of bon-fire’s, or looking into a flame, such as a candle.

Some people drink warm tea, and others have many different things they do. Some like bubble bath’s with candles. Some like to go for a run, or go to the gym. No matter what it is you do, that’s a healthy release of stress, we need to normalize taking time for ourselves. This is not a selfish thing to do, but rather one of physical necessity. Stress is a very real killer in our society, and we don’t do a good job, especially as men, in finding ways, healthy ways, to rest, and relax. If we do not relax, stress not only kills us, but shortens our natural life. We need to remove things from our life if we need to, but it’s important we find and make the time to rest and relax. We must take time to pray, and be in prayer to our almighty Heavenly Father. We must take time for ourselves, because if we don’t, the alternative could be disastrous.

In the New Testament we often see Jesus taking naps. I imagine the effort and energy that flows through a human body, would make him tired. I don’t know what it felt like to be fully God, and fully man, but I can understand him wanting to take naps. After everything I’ve been through since Oct, I feel my body weighing me down. There is no time during the day something doesn’t hurt. My shoulder, my neck, my back, and most recently pain in my stomach right under my ribs. Resting is what’s needed. If we do not take time to take care of ourselves, no one will. Our bodies age, and as we get older, sometimes require a bit more thought and care. We must take time for ourselves. We must put down the world, lay the cell-phones down, and relax. We cannot expect our bodies to heal, and recover if we run them to the ground, yet we don’t take time apart. Don’t underestimate how important it is to rest. So, from me to you, rest. I hope, and pray you find peace and rest this 2025. Lets start off strong, and continue the fight. Rest when you can, and know peace in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. May His peace be with you. May His strength be with you. May His joy be your joy. Rest well my friends. Rest well.

This Old Elf

January 25, 2024January 25, 2024 thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

This Old Elf

Four decades, or forty years. Time slips by in what seems like an instant, but as anyone can see just by looking around them, time is better for some people than others. If I was not a faithful, God-fearing man, I would say time hated me. As one friend put it, ‘if it weren’t for bad luck, I wouldn’t have any luck at all.’ Time has been hard on me all these years. I have spent much time recently looking back and reviewing my four long decades on this earth. The passage of time is a strange thing, since sometimes it goes slow, and others we seem to miss it in the blink of an eye. But in reality, time moves the same speed today, as it did in the 80’s, 90’s and even the time just after Adam and Eve were banished from Eden. If I was a betting man, I would say, what I’m feeling is fairly common for a newly turned 40-year-old. I’m not sure if most people do this, but in the recent days I’ve been reflecting over my life.

I don’t believe anyone would say I’ve had an easy life. I have been blessed, and am currently blessed, but that does not mean life is without issues. There is certainly something to be said about a family member battling dementia, and the family left to help navigate the stormy waters. Some days are decent, while others are not. When the relationship is already tumultuous, turbulent, it makes that navigation like a first year Lieutenant on a land nav course.

Are we ever where we thought we ‘d be? Generally, the answer to this question is no. I’d say the vast majority of people’s lives are so far off the track from what they originally attempted to navigate. This doesn’t mean life is all difficult, but I do think reflection can be both helpful and hurtful depending on the circumstances. Reflection is important so we can take a long hard look and perhaps gain some perspective. However, if we stair to long, we may get lost in the despair of rejection, heartache, and disappointment, that may come from looking back. I have a few big moments in my life I have considered what would have happened if I had just made a different choice. Some say our choices define us, and while that’s true, sometimes it feels they often condemn us. The last thing I want in my life is to forever be stuck. I look at my current situation and it’s hard not to feel stuck. It’s no secret that I live in a tent behind my mother’s house. Having needing a place to live after my back injury, my house was packed into boxes and while in need of a place to store it, mothers house was that place. What was meant to be a short stay, has now turned into seven years. In need of some privacy the tent was placed near the house to have power, a larger bed than a twin, a small place to put a desk to work, and some privacy. But it was in no way expected to be a long-term solution. Three years later. Now, when one looks at the current mortgage rates, I cannot pay half or more than half of my income to a house payment. A disabled veteran is hard pressed to own a home on their income alone. Am I a failure? At 40 years old, living in the back yard of their aging parent whose battling dementia, a house badly designed and laid out, making living very difficult, and stressful, and frustrating, I feel as if I have failed. It is my responsibility to take care of and provide for my family, and while yes, there is a roof over our heads, and food on the table, I am able to provide the bare minimum. Am I being too hard on myself? Perhaps.

I pray that in my current state in my life, that this is not a representation of me:

Proverbs 13:4

4 The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing,

while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied.

Things aren’t always easy, and life hasn’t turned out the way I thought it would. The struggles I’ve faced are not easy, but nowhere near the worst they could be. Even with the recent and long-term struggles, I have to find my situation blessed. While I struggle every day with a slew of chronic issues, I know my situation could be worse. I have acknowledged at my current place; I am in no way of fixing or changing anything. It is for this reason, I know that all I can do is pray about where I am, and know that God is in control. Some have called this kind of acknowledgement the serenity prayer. While yes, I am aware of it, I will say, knowing and understanding, does not make the day-to-day choices any easier.

As I turned forty, I’m not sure what I expected from the day, but I wish I could say it went well. Sadly, the day started off rough, and periodically went downhill. I found myself battling my own disappointments, strong negative emotions, and by the end of the night being hurt and disappointed by the words of others. A day that should have been happy and a celebration, did not turn out that way. I often wonder if people consider the amount of pressure a man has on his shoulders. I wonder if people truly consider how difficult it is for a man to have the weight and responsibility of his family’s spiritual walk, the financial responsibilities for the family, the maintenance and heavy lifting for the family. After all that, you add the man’s hopes and dreams, and know that he will often put those aside for the health, and welfare of his loved ones, he walks alone, silent in his struggle.

But God, hears his cries. While he does not speak allowed his hurt, God knows and hears the cries coming from his broken heart. Turning 40 isn’t the end of the road, it’s merely the middle. One could say it’s the beginning, since every start around the sun is a new starting point. Every day waking up is a fresh start, as the sun rises over a blank canvas, we have the ability to let God paint us a new portrait. Today isn’t the end, and while it did not go as I hoped, and at the end of the day I am hurt, and disappointed, God knows and if it be His will, He will work it out. I started off the day whimsical and excited. As I end the day, I do so in silence, alone by candle light. How I wish I could boldly go on a starship and explore strange new worlds, and seek out new life. I find myself longing for life among the stars where the motivation of human society is no longer the accumulation of wealth but rather the betterment of all mankind. Where hunger, and homelessness is no longer a thing, and people have their needs and wants met, while exploring and growing humanity. Even being lost in the Delta Quadrant on Voyager doesn’t seem so bad. Perhaps one day. For now, look to one another and show kindness, respect, and above all, show love. We are to love our neighbor as God has loved us. Are we loving, and caring, sharing the truth of the Gospel? Hardships come and all we can do is trust in God, let go, and in all we do, all we say, do so to the Glory of the one who created it all, do so to bring a smile upon God’s face. Let’s release our selfishness and ask how we can serve others, and find joy in bringing happiness and love to a world around us that desperately needs it.

Live Long and Prosper my friends. Go in Love.

God is Good

September 6, 2018 thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

God is Good

This seems like such an easy message, but so few truly understand just how impactful it can be, God is good, and God is good all the time. I have been down and from the deepest pits of despair I have know that God is still there. I may not have always been on speaking terms with God for my own selfish, lost reasons, but God as Abba (Father), has never turned His Holy back on me. When we are upset and angry with God it’s us that walks away. We are children who storm off and slam the door to our rooms. I was an angry person for so long I ran from God. We would fight constantly. I felt like I was being taken out to the whipping shed so often I couldn’t sit down anymore. What I couldn’t understand was it wasn’t God, God wasn’t the source of my pain, the Devil was.

It’s easy to feel like you’re alone, but the truth is we are never alone. Romans 8:28 ESV“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” We know that no matter what we are going through God is there. Psalm 31:19 ESV“Oh, how abundant is your goodness, which you have stored up for those who fear you and worked for those who take refuge in you, in the sight of the children of mankind!”

Living life with depression isn’t easy. Living life with severe depression can be debilitating. Knowing God is there is sometimes the only hope people have that suffer from depression is trusting God is still there. I’ve spent time laid up in my bed and the only thought that’s gotten me up is knowing that I need to post a blog entry, or homework, or to go to church. Knowing these things are to bring glory to God is often the only thing that gets me moving. I can’t imagine how people who believe in nothing find anything hopeful when things in life don’t go very well. Worse, when people suffer traumas and if not one, or three, or even five traumas later if they believe in nothing, how they manage to keep moving forward is something I will never understand. Psalm 145:9 ESV“The Lord is good to all, and his mercy is over all that he has made.” Knowing everything the light touches, and everything it doesn’t is all under the mercy of God is such a warm thought. Knowing that everything in my heart is touched by God, and every sorrow I feel Jesus Christ felt and took it for me. Knowing that the love of Jesus Christ is what lights up the darkness. The darkness that covers those with true horrors in their life is lit up by the grace of God.

Sometimes in life when you need to fix something, you have to make a mess before you build it back up and make it pretty. The human heart, and the psyche are sometimes the same way. In trauma therapy you often need to talk about the worst things in your life you you’ve ever experienced, and you talk about it some more, and then some more, and each time it feels like the wounds are fresh, just as painful as the first day it happened. Going over the events, and talking about them, and talking about the emotions in a particular way is how we slowly start to clean up the mess. Knowing that God is there keeping you safe, keeping me safe, has been a comfort. Knowing I am broken to pieces right now, is only a temporary thing because I know that one day God will use me to help others and bring precious glory to His holy name. Trusting in the Lord and that He has plans for me keeps me fighting and moving forward. Even when I don’t think much of myself, I know that the Lord loves me. Jesus Christ died for me, and I know that one day I will leave this broken life behind, and I will go home to where I truly belong, and why, is because God is good all the time. God is Love, God is Grace, God is Joy, and God uses broken things just like me. If God can use a broken man like myself to spread the Gospel, God can use anyone to show others hope and joy, and faith that tomorrow will be better because this life is only temporary. We have work to do in this world, and we can’t let the Devil win. We must hold strong, and never give up. If God never gives up on us, we can’t give up on ourselves either, and we certainly can’t give up on God. We are never alone.

Lego Therapy

January 3, 2018January 3, 2018 thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

Lego Therapy

Some days are harder then others. For whatever reason we as people have different ways of handling stress, or negative emotions. Some people turn to liquor, some turn to being workaholics, some turn to gambling, or drugs, and while some things are absolutely okay in moderation, some things are not. I’ve known people who’ve turned to drugs, and I’ve known people who’ve turned to sex to hide the pain they are in. I’ve known others who have gotten so involved with work that they no longer make time for anyone or anything else in their life. Obviously some of these are better then drugs, and others in some ways are just as bad.

Last year when I was going through some of the worst emotions I’d ever faced in my life, I found poor relief in alcohol and Ambien. At night when work was over, or even on my days off before I’d go to bed, I would mix the two and would proceed to black out for hours. I wouldn’t remember anything from the night before. I’d wake up in the morning and find I would record myself talking incoherently, sending gibberish texts, and sadly making everything public on Facebook. Obviously in a time of crisis my decisions were less then desirable. I made poor life choices for about 3 months. Eventually my situation would escalate to a boiling point and things would get worse.

Now, when I’m in high stress times, or feeling depressed I turn to Lego’s. For one person I know, she colors to help her relax and face stress. Now when I have a hard day, or I just need to have a distraction for a couple hours I get a new set, and I build. I put in a movie, and I start building. For me it gives me a chance to clear my mind, and focus on a goal. I have found that even a short term, but a very achievable goal helps me to let go of the things that are bothering me. It releases the stress to see what I can do, what I can create with my own hands. I think it’s important for all of us to find something. There are always productive, healthy ways to handle stress, to handle the worries of the world.

Finding peace in troubled times can be difficult. Finding comfort in ways that are healthy can be even more troublesome. We often desire things with our hearts that are just out of reach. We allow emotions like pain, and guilt and shame to be the driving force of our decisions and we can easily be led astray in the midst of what can only be described as spiritual warfare. We cannot hope to win the war if we don’t understand how to rest and reset ourselves when we can. James 1:2-4 “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” We know that Jesus is the one true way, and when we are able to rest our minds, our bodies, and our souls from the weary days, we can follow the words in Luke 21:19 “Stand firm, and you will win life.” The war is never an easy place to be, but war isn’t easy. Those who are faithful, who are living the life, are always going to be the ones targeted most. This isn’t to say others won’t endure hardships also, but the ones who have Jesus in their heart will be targets for the Devil and the temptations of the flesh start. Psalm 94:19 “When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.”

War is Hell, and enduring the pull to the dark side is tough. The power of flesh is strong, and the desires we often hide deep down can surface. Know though, that we are all human and we all make mistakes. I have found new ways to deal with my stress, deal with my pain that led me so far astray, but damage was done. I can only hope that in my day-to-day life now, those mistakes of the past aren’t how I’m defined forever. In our pursuit to find our way we will follow the wrong path and find comfort in all the wrong places. No one wants mistakes to be how they are defined or seen, so we must learn to forgive. We must trust those around us who mean for us to be happy, and healthy and safe. Have faith in the Godly council, and have faith that God will give us what we need, when we need it. That includes people in our lives, the tools we need to succeed, and eventually flourish. We just need to be able to move day to day, and come what may. Find ways to handle stress that is productive and doesn’t harm yourself or others. Find the courage to resist what you must, and embrace what you should.