Tag: scripture

No I Won’t Back Down

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No I Won’t Back Down

The fallen world will push you, beat you, kick you when you’re down and just when you think it’s getting better, you’re hit by a sneak attack. It doesn’t feel good when you’re under constant attack. You get tired, discouraged, worn out and completely drained. Romans 12:2“Do not be conformed to this world,[a] but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

It’s important to stay the course. It’s important to fight the good fight as Paul did. It’s such a powerful testament to what a person can endure and still conduct themselves with honor and distinction. Paul was a wanted man, and hated by the Romans and anyone who rejected the Savior Jesus Christ, they chased Paul around the known world and despite many hardships and tragedies Paul remained faithful right up to the very end. Isaiah 40:31“but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” Paul would write to Timothy with a proud proclamation of keeping his faith throughout everything he had endured. 2 Timothy 4:7“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.”

 When we reach our limit, do we withdraw from God or do we run to him in need of shelter? We must remember who the real enemy is. We must always look to our calamity and ask what it is. Are we away from God and that’s what caused this? Is this an attack from the Devil, or is this the doing of other sinful people? No matter what it may be we need to look at every hardship as a chance to grow, to learn, and most importantly as a chance to praise the name of God. In every situation both good and bad God is working it out for the smooth path ahead. We just need to keep the faith and remain patient. This of course is easier said then done but we need to work at it every day. Never stop moving forward and don’t forget who the real enemy is. The Devil is a patient hunter. He will wait and stalk his prey. He will study you, and learn your weaknesses. He is calculating and manipulative. If you are going to place blame on your misfortunes at least place your complaint in the correct mailbox.

 

Run Barry, Run

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Run Barry, Run

Pain is always going to be apart of life. I was asked recently why bad things happen to good people. I took a moment to contemplate an answer. Eventually I said, “We learn more from our hardships and failures then we do when life is smooth sailing. We cannot truly reach our potential unless we are put to the test.” As most of my readers know I am a super hero graphic novel fan. One thing I like about my favorite heroes is most come through horrible tragedies and rise above. During Flashpoint Paradox Barry Allen runs back in time to save his mother from being murdered. Without living through his tragedy he never grew up to be a hero. Peter parker wouldn’t be Spiderman had it not been for him loosing his parents and Uncle Ben. Bruce Wayne wouldn’t be Batman without loosing his Parents. Most heroes rise above and grow to reach their full and true potential through tragedies.

I have often used the sword metaphor for facing trials and tribulations. In order to make a sword, steel must go through fire. It must undergo a rigorous process of heat and pounding, over and over to remove the imperfections and to make the sword ready to withstand battle. What happens if the sword is not properly tempered? What happens if the sword is taken into battle early? The sword is a soldiers weapon, they rely on it to withstand the rigors of battle. If not properly prepared the sword could break when it’s most needed. When we are forced with grief or tragedy it’s just as important because if we do not face grief or tragedy it can come back to haunt us when it’s least convenient. I recently saw and episode of the Flash where Leonard Snart, AKA Captain Cold told Barry Allen, “You can’t outrun grief.”This actually hit me hard. I’ve always struggled with loss. In my life I’ve always said I was to busy to grieve or deal with the horrible traumas I faced. The problem was eventually my grief caught up to me, but all at once. I thought if I ran long enough I could leave the past behind me. Sadly I couldn’t have been more wrong. “If you don’t confront your feelings, your feelings will confront you.”(Leonard Snart)

Psalm 34:18“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” The beautiful thing about the God on high is it’s something we can count on. If we’re high on life, or down in the deepest pit of despair, Jesus is right with us. We cannot fathom the love God has for us. When we hurt, God hurts but when we are broken, God begins to mend us. Psalm 147:3 “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” When we struggle with the natural progression of our life, all we can do is know that Jesus will be there with us. Our body crumbles and ages, but tomorrow God’s still there waiting on us. Psalm 73:26 “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” If we have Jesus the pains we feel will diminish over time. Trusting in the Lord and having faith in his glory and trust in the plan, we can begin to heal, if we face our hardships.

Isaiah 53:4-6 “Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted 5 But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed. 6 All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned—every one—to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.” When we look at what Jesus did for us, and we think of our grief, can we take ourselves out of our own pain, and realize we aren’t the only ones going through pain. Jesus endured enormous amounts of pain and we think we are good and we don’t deserve it. John14:1“Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God;[a] believe also in me.” If we truly believe in the Lord, then while grief is a natural part of life, it shouldn’t destroy us. When bad, horrible things happen, yes, we all have emotions, and we need to deal with them, face them in a healthy way. Those emotions are given to us for a reason and we have to trust that. But pushing them away like they don’t’ exist, and pretending that everything’s okay when surly it’s not, it’s just a recipe for disaster. In closing I will leave you with this, Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” This is a command, not a suggestion, not a piece of advice, this is from God himself telling us not to give into fear, not to be dismayed by the trials we will face, but to pick ourselves up and carry on. We are told our strength comes from the Lord and the faithful can move a mountain. Death and grief aren’t always tragedies, but even when they are, trust in God’s purpose and have faith that the end of suffering and trials is over, and hopefully they are in a better place. Trust in the Lord and face your struggles head on so one day they don’t knock you to the ground and pound you into the pavement.

 

 

Explosive Memories

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Explosive Memories

I try not to think about it most of the time. I remember the sounds, the sights, even the smell of sulfur. I can remember each incident and as much as I try not to think about it, there are days. The struggle for veterans returning home from war can vary differently from one to the next. For me I have spent years facing my demons. Behind every uniform is a story. My story hasn’t ended, but my time in uniform has. The wounds left behind leave scars and those don’t ever go away. I can remember one explosion after another, and from the way it feels as the blast goes through you. I remember the fear I would face while on patrol, trying to stay focused, but in those memories, I sadly brought them home with me. My time in war fundamentally changed me, and because of that, because of how I was changed, I find some days I struggle to enjoy some of the same things other people like.

The other day I was driving to work and found myself in a traffic jam. Most people would perhaps be a little frustrated, but me, there’s a level of fear, and that fear turns to anger. I am terrified of sitting in traffic because I am not in control at all. I am afraid of being caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. I am afraid of the trash on the side of the road. I’m afraid of the crowds I encounter while I’m out in public. I’m afraid of the movie theater. I’m afraid of the mall. I’m afraid of being caught ill prepared. In my life I have spent a lot of time focusing on the what ifs, planning for the emergencies to be as prepared as possible. I have to hope that in the darkness of this world, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Revelation 21:4“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

 John 16:33“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” In my day, I am haunted by the memories of my past. I have struggled to let go, and remember that Christ overcame the world. His blood set me free, and though my trials my be today, my Heaven is tomorrow. Living with PTSD isn’t always easy, but we keep pushing forward. Dealing with the day-to-day strife can lead your heart to feel heavy. We must not focus on the cant’s, or why something is too hard, we need to focus on what we can do. John 14:1“Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me.” Though my past and my grief haunt me, I must thank the Lord for the love and mercy that’s placed upon me every day. Jesus has offered me everything, and I can’t let the pain of yesterday turn my focus. The Devil tries to distract me, lie to me, prey on my weaknesses, and I will admit, some days he gets his claws in and it’s all I can do to push him away. Don’t forget the purposes of our true journey. Keep pushing forward and focus on today, not yesterday.

I think back to the day I was something in my own eyes, and when the tornado struck my life and ruin was left in it’s wake, I think back to how foolish I was to think my happiness could last. I placed my self worth on those around me. I placed my happiness in the hands of others, to include family, friends, and my wife. I trusted all the wrong people, and putting my faith in the world, thinking if I walked the walk, talk the talk, prayed the prayers, that I might be spared the hardships of another divorce or worse. The thing is when you are strong in your faith, the Devil attacks, and he attacks, and he’s relentless to see how long he can push you till you break. How much  can you take before you curse God, turn your back, and walk deeper down the dark path.

No matter the hardships you’ve endured, the horrors you’ve seen, you need to remember who the true enemy is at the end of the day. Put not your faith in man for we are fickle and swayed easily, but put your faith in the Lord for God is never changing, and always we are found in God’s love and grace. The road is long, but the blessings of tomorrow outweigh the pain of today.

My God

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My God

I just wanted to take a moment to tell people about me. As many of you may or may not know, I have experienced a great many tragedies in my life. I’m not a perfect man, and I’ve struggled sometimes. I have watched as those I loved the most betrayed me, turned on me, and followed the ways of lust, anger, and hate. No matter the pain I’ve experienced being in the military, or in my childhood, and now into my adulthood, the thing I’ve tried to do is not let anger and hate flood into my heart. I’ve been seen through the storm time and time again. I’m alive, and I continue to breathe even though I should have died from a gun shot wound a year and a half ago. I have suffered a great many times, but in all of that suffering I have found peace in knowing God is still with me, still in control, and knowing that Jesus friend of man, savior and the defeater over death, is holding my hand walking with me.

Many people have scoffed at my belief, but I have felt the presence, heard the voice, and lived when I should have died. My God is faithful and has never abandoned me. Who am I to deserve this kind of grace and mercy? I am no one, my works are trash, my mistakes are many, my sins run deep, and yet through it all, God’s grace and love have never stopped flowing towards me. Every day I walk in the Lord I hope to be better then I was the day before. Every day I walk in the Lord I need to ask for guidance, and forgiveness. Every day I struggle with sin, and I struggle with my own wants in life. Every day for a while now I struggle with loneliness, and I wish for companionship. My God tells me to be patient and trust in his plan for me. Some day I don’t know which way to go, and some days I don’t think I can make it through, but when I feel lost, I close my eyes, and I focus on getting back to God. The path to darkness is slow and can go unnoticed, but those who give themselves to the evil ways of sin, make choices and the price to be paid is high. Because I’m not willing to pay that price, I’m not willing to wait around for that bill to be due, I turn back to Christ everyday, who waits for me, who accepts me with open arms, and I know that my sins are washed away.

Jesus changes my life every day. Even when I feel lost and saddened by my day, I know that Jesus is there with me. Even when I feel low and depressed, knowing that Jesus is with me helps. I may never know or understand why I have been forced to go through some of my struggles, or endured some of my heartbreak, but I trust my God. Everything I go through I learn from. Every struggle I’ve faced has prepared me for the battles I will face tomorrow. Every lesson we experience is an opportunity to take something positive away from it. We must go into each challenge with an open mind and an expectation that life won’t always be what we want. Life won’t always be easy, but my God promises me that my struggles won’t be in vein. My God promises me this suffering is only but a fleeting moment in the path towards eternity. I shall live my life and then as dust to dust my body shall parish, but my soul will ascend into heaven and I will sit with Jesus. My suffering today is nothing compared to what will happen if I don’t trust in the Lord. Jesus said I am the way the truth and the light, no one gets to the father except through me. Where is your heart, as for me, I trust in the Lord.

I’m Invincible

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I’m Invincible

Romans 8:31 “What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?”

 Who am I, when someone asked me in the past I didn’t have an answer, but now I do. I’m a champion, I’m a soldier for the Lord. I’m invincible before the Lord. The Devil attacks and knocks me down, but I get back up. I have the power of the Holy Spirit in my corner and I can take whatever the Devil sends. The power of the Lord and King are on my side and with it, I’m unstoppable. The Devil will hit me but he can’t hurt me, because from this day forward I’m a fighter and I will stand my ground. My whole life I’ve been training for this moment, and in this time I will no longer take the punches, it’s about time I start to fight back. My whole life I have taken the punches and felt the pain and curled up and cried in my corner. From this time forward I will no longer feel the shame and I will wipe my eyes, and stand tall. I will be a champion for the Lord, and I will light the fires and send out the call.

We are soldiers for Christ and we are the front lines of the war against our very souls. What’s at stake is eternity. We must stand tall and fight for what we believe in, and the truth is something worth fighting for. We must buckle up as this world gets darker every day, and be ready for the fight to come. Will you feel the flame from the Holy Spirit and sit back with it, or will you stand tall and scream it from the highest mountaintops? Will you be a man of the cross and share the gospel with others or will you hide away from the world a coward? Stand tall and take the punches like a man, and be the champion.

Champion by: Carrie Underwood (feat. Ludacris)

The C is for the courage I possess through the drama
H is for the hurt but it’s all for the honor
A is for my attitude working through the patience
Money comes and goes so the M is for motivation
Gotta stay consistent, the P is to persevere
The I is for integrity, innovative career
The O is optimistic, open and never shut
And the N is necessary ’cause I’m never giving up

We are made in the fires of the Holy Spirit, forged to be strong, to withstand anything the Devil throws at us, so be the faithful soldiers of Christ and prepare your minds, your bodies, and your souls for the battles. To be a champion of Christ we must take scripture to heart, we must learn it, lean on it, allow it to fill our hearts, and when we are attacked, scripture is the only weapon we will need. Philippians 2:10-11 “10 so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” What more is needed in this life to live in peace? We must learn to be the ambassadors of the Lord. We must learn when to use diplomacy, and learn when to strike the Devil head on with the sword of truth. In this life we can be strong or we can be weak. We can be winners, or we can be losers. If you are to live in Christ you shouldn’t be focused on everything that goes wrong, but figure out what the attack is, and mount a counter attack. Every challenge is an opportunity to grow and learn, and teach, and preach the Gospel. The world will turn on you, and friends will abandon you, but in all things God is always with you. No matter the trials that comes this life is always going to be temporary, God is eternal. What side do you want to fight for, the winners or the ones that will forever live in torment? We faithful have already won the war, we just need to keep strong and spread the word from the front lines. This war to win the hearts and minds must continue with us. You will take every punch, every kick, every evil trick the Devil has, but you were made to win, you were made to stand tall, and you were made in the Glory of the Holy Spirit. God has created you and God doesn’t make mistakes. God has more faith in you then you’ll ever have of yourself, so stop doubting and get up and be a Champion. You can’t be beat so long as God’s on your side. Be invincible, be unshakable, be an immovable object, and laugh as the Devil tries and tries to break you, and with each stone thrown it just bounces right off you.

Do not be conformed to the lies this world will spread. Do not fall for the tricks of the Devil because for every soul brought to Christ their name echoes in the halls of Heaven. They are celebrated, as they will one day go home. The perseverance we will show will one day pay off as we walk into Heaven and we lay our gifts at the feet of our King and Savior. We were made for this, and we were born to win, so hold your head high, today and forever as a natural born winner. Fight for what you believe in, and know that to believe in Christ is to be the greatest winner on Earth. A Champion, a Soldier for Christ. With God in my corner I can’t loose, I can’t fail, and I will hold my hands high and I will forever be in the winner’s circle.

 

 

Risen For You

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Risen For You

Matthew 28:6 “He is not here, for he is risen.” Are you offended by the cross and the word faith? Are you afraid of your true place in this world? What have you been seeking all this time? Whether it be pain, suffering, or depression, hate and resentment slowly creep into our hearts. Could you imagine being whipped and beaten to an inch of your life? Flesh torn from your skin, whip after whip, and can you imagine being blinded in the red of blood spilt down your face from a crown of thorns? Can you imagine your arms being stretched out nearly pulled from the sockets, while your body weight pulls you down while your grasping for air as you suffocate slowly under your own weight? Our works here on earth are like filthy rags to God. We cannot earn our way in good works. All we can do is sacrifice our old self, let it die away and what’s left is the heart loving God. When we give all of ourselves to follow Christ we are forever changed. A sinless man died on the cross. Our salvation wasn’t free but our totality of sin was washed away. We watched over 2000 years ago as the blood stained the ground, stained the cross and the flowing of blood out of the righteous man who took the beating, he took the thorns, he took the nails, he took the hell we all deserve. We must repent, to change, to run from our sinful ways. As our savior is not a dead man, but risen through God. God so loved the world he gave his only begotten son.

We worship not a dead martyr but a risen savior in which even the grave, death could not hold him. The temple broken, the stone ropes cut, the seal broken and the resting place of Christ empty, lest the facial napkin folded as a symbol of a mortal life ending. Christ though would live on, showing his risen self to the masses. Even Thomas doubted till he could put his fingers into the wounds. Jesus said to him, ‘You doubt yet you see with your own eyes. Imagine those who will never see with their own eyes.’ Rome wanted to prove the conspiracy yet failed to do so. Rome would hunt and eventually kill nearly all the Apostils, but despite torture not one recanted their eye witness account of the risen Christ.

2000 years later the Holy Spirit moves our hearts and we still remember the sacrifice made on that day. Will we allow our saviors sacrifice to be in vein? How can we deny you my Lord? My God you gave up your own son for me, a willing sacrifice and yet we cannot let go of our own sins. We cannot, we will not soften our hearts to you. We are so lost, but the light shines brightly down on us. We are not saved on one day a year but in your holy decree we not live each and every day. Jesus Christ the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world. We have the cross, no longer a symbol of torture and punishment, but one of hope and eternal life. How then will we live? Will we remain hateful and bitter in our hearts, or will we learn to forgive and love? Will we hold onto the grudge of those who’ve trespassed against us? Our own grudges will seal our own fate. Scripture is clear, judge not yet you will be judged. Forgive not and you will not be forgiven. We must find the balance and the balance we seek is Jesus, the life, love and grace and mercy of God, God who washes away our transgressions when we accept and repent.

Jesus Christ is alive and will live forever and so can I. That cold dark grave could not hold the power of the Holy Spirit and that gift betwoed on you and me if you j ust believe. Let the Holy Spirit flow through you and death will one day come for you, but will not hold you. The empty tomb, cold, but the day Jesus would go to heaven the bright sun shown down. If you are to cry, cry only tears of joy. Do not be afraid for the King lives and so shall you. If you cannot feel Jesus with you, I dare say you don’t want to. I’ve heard the voice as I neared my own death, and the jolt of the Holy Spirit flowed over me restoring my soul, my life.

Where are you and are you grounded in your faith? My Lord is the truth, the life the way. I rise today comforted in the love of Christ. I proclaim I am a sinner, a man of many faults, of many mistakes, but for every sin I make I am forgiven in pure love. My faith is strong because I’ve seen with my own eyes, my own ears, the senses of my body tell me the truth. God so loves me that each and every day I wake with a new chance to live my life in Christ. I have the chance to do God’s work. As I stand as just a man, the words I speak aloud as I stand are truth. I will one day great death with open arms as my corporeal body will wither away, but my spirit will go on and I will see the King who loves me.

The Good Shepherd

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The Good Sheperd

John 10:11 “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.”

As we move into this Easter morning, I wanted to spend a few minutes talking about how important this holiday truly is. We as a nation have walked away from the Cross and have forgotten the true meaning of sacrifice. The Easter Bunny and eggs, and baskets have become the focus and while that stuffs fun, this day is about so much more. Good Friday is a day of pain, of suffering, of death and sorrow. A debt we could never fulfill, but one could. A bill that would come due, and no matter how much good intentions we had, it wouldn’t satisfy the bill, but one man could. See, Easter is about hope, love, and self sacrifice.

Jesus would be the man born from woman fathered by the Spirit of God. He would be raised humbly, and when he was ready his journey to ministry began. He would face many hardships along the way, and as the Sanhedren became growingly anxious about his rise, they feared that Jesus would try to take his place as King, thus crumbling their seat of power. Jesus would be betrayed by a close friend Judas, and for 30 pieces of silver the price was paid for the man the people were calling the messiah. Judas escorted the Roman soldiers to the garden where Jesus was with the rest of the apostils. A kiss of betrayal, and foreseen by Christ, the beginning of the end.

Jesus would be tried and convicted for crimes he never committed. His fate would be put to the people in exchange for a known murderer, and yet the people decided to kill Jesus instead. Jesus would offer no defense and would take the beating, which left him bleeding out, and nearly unrecognizable. He would carry his own cross to the place he would be hung. Matthew 27:45-46 “45 From noon until three in the afternoon darkness came over all the land. 46 About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eli, Eli,[a] lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”).[b]” This fulfilled the messianic prophecy from ancient biblical times. This moment God had separated from the man, and the man took the full wrath of God for the payment of sins. In that moment Jesus cries out John 19:30 “When Jesus had received the sour wine, he said, “It is finished,” and he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.” Tetelestai which means it is finished, complete, and at that moment the Earth shook, the sun was covered, the temple crumbled and the tapestry was split from top to bottom symbolizing the end of the separation from God and man. The death of Christ was the pure sacrifice, the blood debt that was paid for the sins of man past present and future.

Jesus would rise again Easter morning. The cloth, which covered his face, would be folded and in that time symbolizing he was done, finished, and he would show himself to many as the risen Christ. The end of the man had come, but the beginning of the living risen king had just begun. We celebrate the defeat over death, and know that one day we too will rise and join the paradise of heaven. We too will be given the gift of eternal life and we will be blessed in the life beyond. The person who believes in Jesus Christ and who is reborn with the Holy Spirit in their hearts will be awarded the key to heaven. To love Christ with all your heart, to love your neighbors and to live as Christ would want. We are a people of sinful desires, of a wavering heart, but if we stay true to Christ, admit our sins, and love the father then we shall defeat death. The bill’s already be paid for us, all we have to do is love. We have to believe with the entirety of our hearts.

On this Easter Sunday, I ask are you saved? Do you know your savior? Do you know the blood spilt for you that would break your bonds of sin forever, and in a moment of pure love, Christ gave up his life for you and me. It’s because of Jesus Christ we no longer live in darkness. It’s because of Christ we can wake up in the morning full of hope, and share that hope with others. Today is a day for hope, for praise that the savior defeated death and we to are given that blessing. Without Easter we would have no hope, no purpose, but we are told to go forth and to make disciples, to spread the word of Jesus, and to baptize all in the Holy Spirit. We are never alone because the God over all is with us every day. Celebrate this glorious day, and remember with every tragedy is a chance to rise.

 

 

Chasing Waterfalls

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Chasing Waterfalls

I have spent years looking for what was right in front of me, but sadly I couldn’t see the things I needed the most in my life. The first thing I needed to find was my own place in God’s love. The second was to realize how in a fleeting moment I would loose the women I had loved with my whole heart. Although I always felt like I gave her everything I possibly could, perhaps there was one more thing I could have given to her, my fear. I never once thought the day would come when she wouldn’t be standing by my side so I never felt the need to be jealous, or concerned with other guys. I consider now the two things in my life I needed the most and yet now after I lost so much, it feels like I may be too late. If I only had a chance to say my hearts desire and have them be heard could I change my fate? Tomorrow the sun will rise and I will have one of my failings be placed on the right path, but the other, I have a heavy heart. The women I loved is still gone because of my own inaction, my own failures as a leader of my household, and I must accept the responsibility of her leaving. While I have been told time and time again I am not at fault, she was happy, and then she wasn’t. I cannot stand idly by and think there was nothing I could have changed. Still, in the here and now, all I have is my hope for her, and wish her the very best on her own path. If I could tell her how much she means to me, and how much I love her, I would. I don’t know if those words would ever mean anything anymore, but perhaps one day they might. I have my path I must walk, and though it saddens me we won’t be walking this path together, I pray that maybe a miracle may happen and she finds her way back to me. Today I find myself thinking of the resurrection of Christ, which is coming. I think of the pain and suffering Christ endured for the sins of man, and yet he took the pain, took the punishment for all of us. He alone carried the burdens of Sin and freely gave his life to give everyone hope. We could only be so lucky to provide hope to someone else.

In the months after it happened, I found myself trying to move forward, trying to put my life back together but there was always something. I have wrestled with my place in this world and as I have found one of them, the other seems as elusive as a waterfall hidden in the deepest jungles. I have found peace with myself for the first time I can remember. I think it’s fitting that this weekend is about resurrection. I think it’s time for me to make some changes in my life. While I would like my life to go back to the way it was, I realize that can never happen. I’ve become a much better person now then I was back then. I have come to find my self worth and now find it’s a little easier managing being alone. I question what my future holds for me. I wonder if I’ll get my own home soon, find a new job, meet anyone special, and as I search for the answers to these questions, I remind myself to have faith, be patient, and above all, have faith in the plan that is beyond my understanding. Trusting in God isn’t always easy, but it’s something we all have to come to grips with at some point in our lives. Proverbs 3:5-6 “5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

I struggle with my own thorns, and in my struggle I lean upon the grace and mercy of the Lord. I cannot spend all my time chasing a waterfall I may never find. I must learn to let go of the things I cannot change and focus on the things I can. I cannot focus on the things I want and will never obtain. I find myself reciting the serenity prayer in my head often these days. I pray for my scenery to change and hope perhaps one day it shall. I cannot say what my future holds, but as for my past, maybe some things will never be as gone out of my life as they should be. Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” It’s time for me to stop chasing the waterfalls and to focus on what’s in front of me. It’s time I give myself the respect I deserve and stop allowing others to make me feel badly about myself. I have spent so long putting so much faith in people for my own personal validation of my own self worth that it’s no wonder I feel like garbage. If I spend my time with people who are selfish, leaches who are only in a friendship so long as they benefit, that’s on me to keep floating towards the edge of that waterfall. I have been washed down river more then once, swept over the cliff and yet I wonder why when it’s me all along. I cannot change others, but I can change my own part in it. I can stop playing so close to the edge. It’s up to me to stick closer to friendlier waters. No longer will I play in the waters edge. I cannot, I must not put myself through that any longer. God give me strength to walk away, strength to heal, to find peace.

Let Go of Dead Weight

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Let Go of Dead Weight

One thing I’ve always struggled with is learning when it’s time to let someone, or something go from my, especially if it’s bad or toxic for me to be around. I have often allowed people to come and go into my life when it suits them, and putting my own hurt aside I welcome them back, and wait for them to leave again. I am the type of person that when someone’s important to me I will attempt to move heaven and earth to help them, be there for them, do anything I could to be the best friend I could be. I think much of my problem has been the efforts I’ve put into being a great friend, trying to constantly please others; I have lost how to please myself. The vast majority of people I’ve had in my life are fake, sycophant, users, and as I’ve noticed I’m here to help people feel good. Once they feel good again they move on, and come back when they need a feel good pick me up. Very few people actually stick around because they want to, because they like my company. I’ve watched the vast majority of my so-called friends leave and most have never come back. When I’ve needed someone to lean on, or be there for me, I’ve found the choices are few, and slim.

When we are weak and downtrodden, when we feel we have lost and forgotten, remember, people are people, and we should never put our hopes, or faith in people. Hebrews 12:1 “Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,” We must not hold onto the baggage of regret, of loss or even grief. We must not hold onto those who drag us down and never lift us up. People are fickle creatures, and in an instant, or on a whim people can change their path and we can see the wreckage for miles of what’s left behind. There is hope though when we remember that God our father is always with us. He is always watching and in all things, the good and the bad, even in the worst of situations God is working to make something good come from it. In the book of Esther a man named Haman wanted to destroy the Jews and specifically kill a man named Mordecai. The right person was in the right place at the perfect God appointed time, Esther. Esther was to be a Queen and using her influence as she rose from nothing to be queen she found the plot to kill her Uncle and informed the King of Persia. Instead of Satan killing Mordecai and the Jews, the attack never came and Haman was killed, Mordecai was appointed second in command. We see this again in the death of Jesus Christ. Satan wanted Jesus dead and the war to end, but instead God raised Jesus from the grave and defeated sin once and for all.

We will all face people in our life that try to use and abuse our kindness. We will all face people who want to come and go when it suits them and hurt on their way out. While I firmly believe we should put the needs of others first, I point to ourselves as ambassadors of Christ. We must be good stewards of Gods gifts and love. If we are to give our love and attention to people, give them to people who truly need it, not those who wish to do harm with it. Philippians 2:3-4 “Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” Give to others what you would want to receive, and when we give love to all, it matters not if that love is returned, because it’s returned from our Father in Heaven. Surround yourselves with believers, those who love and fear the Lord. 1 Corinthians 15:33“Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.” Walk away from those who intend to do harm. Walk away from those who are unequally yoked as you. Never stop loving, and praying, and never close the door to present the gospel to those you encounter. Sometimes people do change, and no matter how many times someone walks away show them love, show them compassion, and always show them forgiveness for their transgressions. People will sin, and will make bad decisions, but we are all sinners, we all make poor choices, and we all deserve a chance to prove we’ve changed. If we are washed in the blood of Christ no longer bound to sin, no longer doomed to suffer the consequences of our actions through our sorrow of sin and our desire to repent and make amends for our actions, so shall we accept apologies, and forgive freely. No one can earn forgiveness, it’s for us to give freely. Just because we forgive doesn’t mean we must carry that weight. Just because we walk away from bad relationships, doesn’t mean we are closing a door forever. Nothing in this world is certain except God’s love for us, and our sins that have been washed by the Lamb of God.

Proverbs 13:20 “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.” Walk with those who are wise in the Lord. Walk with those who love themselves and others. Follow the love for your fellow man by the words in, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” Love comes from within and goes to all whom we come into contact with. Respect one another, and respect our differences. Do not be cruel or hurtful. When we face the pain from others yes it will make you angry, yes it will hurt, but remember, hurting people hurt others. Do not put your pain upon others in the way of hate or anger. Love all, and pray for those in need of Jesus’s love and mercy. Don’t loose hope because where there is God there is always hope.

 

 

 

 

When Pride Kills

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When Pride Kills

How do we treat those in our relationships? Do we take constructive criticism well? How about when we’ve actually done something wrong, do we attack those who are just trying to talk about a problem? When we are so prideful we are unable to hear or acknowledge that we might be doing something wrong or hurtful to someone we care about is not just a problem in relationships, but work, and other relationships we may encounter. Pride can be the downfall in many relationships, and effects virtually every aspect of our life. Pride can be a beautiful thing, and in the right amount it can give a sense of accomplishment when we achieve something wonderful. James 4:10 “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.” In everything we achieve it’s not us, but through and by the grace of God. We are nothing without the Lord. Nothing happens without the Lord allowing it to happen.

1 John 2:16 – For all that [is] in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. “The heart of pride is focused on “self.” Prideful people believe they deserve better than what life has brought them. They become sorrowful, resentful, and even jealous of other people and their successes. Pride breeds self pity, which is a major component in depression. Typically, people who struggle with pride will live life based on how they feel and expect everyone else to accommodate them and adapt to their moods.” The Bible is full of examples of how men have fallen to their own selfish pride. “But when [Nebuchadnezzar’s] heart became arrogant and hardened with pride, he was deposed from his royal throne and stripped of his glory. He was driven away from people and given the mind of an animal; he lived with the wild donkeys and ate grass like cattle; and his body was drenched with the dew of heaven, until he acknowledged that the Most High God is sovereign over the kingdoms of men and sets over them anyone he wishes.” Daniel 5:20-21 (NIV) Pride is at the heart, a heart problem. Something most likely happened to wound you early in life, and now you feel life owes you one. You’re over compensating for your feelings of inadequacy. You lash out at those around you who try to help you, if it doesn’t conform to what you want to hear. When people point out things you may have done to hurt them, with actual events, you will blame everything else instead of just owning up to it and trying to make it right. Pride’s very existence when being used to guard ones self is the shield to prevent helpful, and respectful conversation from happening in a relationship. Pride, vanity, selfishness, are all very real, and when looked at in depth, the result of something usually happening during the ages of 8-16 years old. While pride can destroy new relationships or old relationships, it can be combated.

The first step of releasing your pride is first realize that you are truly nothing without God. We must humble ourselves to the Lord. We must learn to be slow to speak and swift to listen. We must learn that love is about hearing the truth sometimes and accepting that it’s coming from a place in the heart, not to tear down, but to try and lift up. Truth, and I mean truth, not opinion, but the cold hard facts, are there and when they support a conclusion, should be considered with open ears, and a slow tongue. In our lives we can make or break relationships by one tiny little thing that can do so much damage in an instant, the human tongue. People say things in the heat of anger, in the moment of pride fullness, and it can do more harm then most can fathom. We all find ourselves on the defensive when a loved one says something about our personality. The truth is, we have become a very sensitive people. We no longer wish to better ourselves, we believe that we are perfect just the way we are. We don’t want to hear the truth anymore, and we’re willing to live in a world where it’s all about us, and we put little thought into how our actions affect others. We have lost the compassion in our hearts. People are living in a world where it’s better to walk away from a friendship then to admit you may have been wrong.

It truly is a sad time we live in when friendships mean so little that people are willing to walk away instead of having a conversation. People will walk away from friendships, relationships, and marriages, all because of pride. When we can’t admit we may be the problem, we can’t admit our faults, we can’t face our own mistakes, we tend to run away because it’s easier then having to deal with the wrongs, or even the pain we’ve caused. We need to let go of our self and find God in our hearts. God can heal the wounded, repair the damage done to the heart, and allow forgiveness, and joy to return. Don’t let pride destroy your home, or your friendships. Don’t let your own inability to admit your faults, your shortcomings, stop you from having heartfelt conversations meant to build, not to tear down. Grown in the military was to tear down to rebuild. You must allow your defenses to be lowered and then you can start working on facing the issues at hand. There’s nothing wrong with showing a little pride in moderation. There’s nothing wrong with a little competition and being proud of winning. There’s nothing wrong with showing pride in your kids, or spouse for something they accomplished. Don’t let your pride get to your head. Stay grounded and stay humble on God’s word. The Lord Giveth, and the Lord can Taketh away. Remember people are not usually out to get you. Just because they make something you’ve done a point of conversation doesn’t mean they hate you and doesn’t mean they are attacking you. I generally want to believe the best in people, and when they care about you, they are just trying to make a bad situation better. I don’t think people always intend to hurt others, and in a relationship communication must be free from worry and concern to be healthy. Don’t give up on each other, and don’t loose hope, the Holy Spirit is forever with you.

Pride can both be horrible and left to grow it can grow out of control. Pride can destroy relationships if one cannot move beyond their own ways. Pride can be a great strength and a great weakness. There is a healthy balance, and we must learn to find that balance. We do not want to allow pride to tear apart families, or damage work relationships, and most importantly we don’t want pride to damage our relationship with God. Let go of self, and look to what you say, and how you say it to the people in your life. Be humble and remember that God allows all things and is sovereign. It’s okay to feel pride, just make sure it stays in check. Pride of winning a game, or accomplishing something wonderful, either is okay, but keep it in check. Remember God gives, and takes away. Don’t let pride be what tears you down or stops you from reaching the top.

 

(n.d.). Retrieved March 27, 2018, from http://biblicalcounselingcoalition.org/2014/03/05/the-prideful-heart/