Tag: scripture

Sacrifice

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Sacrifice

What would you be willing to give up for Christ? If you knew then entrance into Heaven was to give up something, a sacrifice of some great importance to you, what would that look like? When you look back at the Apostle Paul and you consider what he gave up, his sacrifice was extensive. To understand completely you first need to understand who Paul was. Prior to his conversion on the road to Damascus, he was a high ranking Pharisee. He had studied under some of the greatest priests, and had notoriety of celebrity proportion. Paul had power, he had authority, he had money, and he had a life of luxury. What would possess a man to give up all that for a life of beatings, of poverty, of torture, of prison time, in what we would call a dungeon by today’s standards. Paul would have had a life of comfort and as he had a reputation cruelty and hatred towards Christians he wouldn’t have much to worry about in the ways of suffering. That’s not what God had planned for him however. As he was known prior to Damascus as Saul, his transformation seen in Acts was not the following of someone looking to better their life with hope. Saul was living large and gave everything up because of what God had done to him on that dirt road. He would loose his sight for three days, and in the years following he would face persecution by those whom he at one time would have been looked up to. He gave up everything of comfort imaginable for a life of uncertainty, pain, and suffering. No one would do this if they weren’t absolutely sure of the truth.

Psalm 54:66 I will freely sacrifice to You; I will praise Your name, O Lord, for it is good.” David knew as King, he was promised the position by God, and by God it would be taken away. We see David fail in his responsibilities as King, and his choices lead to dire consequences. But in all things, David would understand eventually the error of his ways, and he realized he must sacrifice the sin nature that dwells within the heart, and trust in the Lord.

Isaiah 1:11“To what purpose is the multitude of your sacrifices to Me?” Says the Lord. “I have had enough of burnt offerings of rams And the fat of fed cattle. I do not delight in the blood of bulls, Or of lambs or goats.” God is telling Israel He doesn’t burnt offerings, he’s not looking for the outward symbols of sacrifice, what He wants is the inward sacrifice. He wants to see the hearts of his people change. To give up ones self to become something else.

Mark 12:33“And to love Him with all the heart, with all the understanding, [a]with all the soul, and with all the strength, and to love one’s neighbor as oneself, is more than all the whole burnt offerings and sacrifices.” It’s not a matter of what we do for the Lord. Someone can go to a soup kitchen every day and volunteer. They can go to Church and sing some songs, even give some sermons, but it’s about what is on the Heart, and God knows the heart.

1 Corinthians 5:7“Therefore [a]purge out the old leaven, that you may be a new lump, since you truly are unleavened. For indeed Christ, our Passover, was sacrificed [b]for us.” This is referring to dough, the leaven, used to make bread. This is saying the old dough is bad, it’s sour, and it must be thrown away. The new bread, is that created by the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, and knowing He is the only truth, the only way to life everlasting. We begin to understand what is meant by sacrifice.

Again when we think about what Christ asked of his followers, drop your nets, drop whatever it was you were doing and instead, pick up your cross and follow “me”. Christ was asking these men to leave the certainty of a solid days work, their homes, money, food, in exchange for truth. Some of the Apostils like Matthew who was a wealthy tax collector gave up a lot to follow Christ. Matthew much like Paul had money, and power, and a nice home, nice clothing, and never had to worry much about the ways of suffering. It takes a lot for someone to give up a life of luxury for a life of uncertainty and eventually pain and suffering.

I have often thought of superheroes as being good examples of righteousness looks like. This is especially true when you look at some of the more squeaky clean heroes, Superman, Spiderman, Captain America, etc. While there may not be as much of a physical toll for each of these characters, there are certainly emotional tolls; this is particularly true with their personal relationships. Something is always sacrificed when duty calls and the costume comes out. For characters like Batman, the toll is emotional, and physical. Bruce Wayne literally gives up his body to fight the good fight. So what is it that we sacrifice in our own lives? Do we give up our time to work for charities? Do we give up our money to tithes? What about our freedom? Would we be willing to give up our home, our jobs, our life in the name of Jesus Christ? For many people there are limits, there’s what’s okay to give up in the name of Jesus, and then what’s not, and sadly, I think the same goes within our own hearts. We are willing to give fractions of our heart to Jesus, but if we’re honest about it, do we truly give 100%? I think this is something we as Christians truly need to examine. To truly submit, there is going to be a little suffering along the way.

When we are truly ready to submit to the Lord, the idea of wealth, power, fame, control, the very essence of what was promised to Christ in the temptation of Satan, we would be more willing to endure that of Isaiah 50:6“I gave My back to those who struck Me, And My cheeks to those who plucked out the beard; I did not hide My face from shame and spitting.” No one truly wants to be beaten, or ridiculed, or imprisoned, but to sacrifice means, to give up the desires of the flesh, to be apart of this world, so that in Heaven we would be in the grace of the one true King. Jesus Christ came to serve his people, He came to be more then just a Leader, but to show us the nature of love, and the nature of humility. Matthew 20:28“just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.” The sovereign King of the universe allowed Himself to be beaten, tortured, spat on, ridiculed, nailed to a cross, and give up His life for us sinners.

Micah 6:8“He has shown you, O man, what is good; And what does the Lord require of you But to do justly, To love [a]mercy, And to walk humbly with your God?” We must learn to be humble, to lower ourselves before the Lord. We must learn to put God first, and then ourselves second. We must learn to trust in the Lord’s plan, and walk where we must, do what we ought to do, and serve where we are led to serve.

Do not mistake my words, I am not saying in any way that if you’ve not be flogged, or beaten, or became wealthy, or live in protective walls that you are somehow not sacrificing for God. What I am saying is make sure whatever you do, you do to bring Glory to our Father. We may not have physical scars of what we sacrifice for the Lord, but there should be some signs of that sacrifice. Paul gave up everything for what he KNEW to be the truth, and gave up everything for it to include his life. If Paul is willing to give up so much, what are we willing to give up? Galatians 6:17“17 From now on let no one trouble me, for I bear in my body the marks of the Lord Jesus.” What scars are we willing to bear in the name of Christ?

For me a reminder of sacrifice is my Gideons Bible. Just looking at it, you can see how worn it is, and for me this is a symbol of my willingness to sacrifice for the Lord. Doing what’s right even in the face of danger and facing our own potential mortality in the process, to put ourselves in harms way to be there for a brother. This beat up old bible is truly one of my most prized possessions. It wasn’t read as much as it should have been, but there are marks in its pages finding scripture to encourage during time of war. The whole Bible shows signs of abuse and water damage. That Bible was with me on every single mission in my left breast pocket of my uniform right under my ballistic vest. It was with me when I jumped into the water to retrieve the body of a friend killed in action. It was with me the day I witnessed Hell on earth. Every hot summer day, or cold winter night, it was by my side. That Bible is a representation of my body which I gladly put on the line to do what I felt was right in the name of Jesus Christ. Making a difference in a part of the world that hated me just for the flag I wore, and who was willing to kill me on live television. I carry my own scars in the name of Christ, and I shall certainly earn more before I go home in glory.

Rehashing the Past

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Rehashing the Past

From the time that we are born, to the time that we die, there are both good and bad things we experience. We know from scripture why bad things happen, and simply put it’s because sin entered the world, and good and evil are present every day. But what happens if we experience the bad and we do nothing about it? In the past, I’ve talked about the dangers of compartmentalization for coping techniques, for further read you can follow this link. https://thearrowpreacher.wordpress.com/2017/06/16/a-past-long-forgotten-the-dangers-of-compartmentalization/

Years later after I believed everything was tucked away in a nice box, sitting on a shelf somewhere inside my mind, where a closest door remained locked, bolted, and guarded, never to be reopened, a foul evil creature grew inside that closet and it was hungry for revenge. I realize the symbolism is a bit out there, but in all reality the events of September 16thwill forever be etched in stone as a dark mark on my reputation and my ego. That day left me with shame, guilt, and fear. As I have tried to move on from that day, it’s hard to imagine I was ever so low in my life. The thing about being low and never dealing with it is when that hidden monster comes back to exact revenge for being put away in the closet. So how do you make peace with that angry monster? You must be brave enough to confront the beast, to face your fears, and don’t back down when it gets hard.

In the next week I will be started a series of therapy sessions designed to manage particular traumatic events in my past to deal with and manage those events so I control them and they do not control me. Those memories are difficult to think about and while on the surface it looks like everything is just fine, if I’m truly honest with myself there are feelings buried deep down that I have gotten pretty good at hiding and masking. After two years ago however it’s time to finally face the monsters and be rid of them once and for all.

It is in scripture and therapeutic techniques I will find peace. I have been praying to God to prepare me for the trials ahead, and calm my heart, and allow me to see the light in such a dark place. Psalm 107:13-16“Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death, and burst their bonds apart. Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love, for his wondrous works to the children of man! For he shatters the doors of bronze and cuts in two the bars of iron.” It is in my heart the darkness rests, and for many years I have not allowed the pain to surface, but in an instant the defenses cracked and out came the monster angry and bitter, spreading lies and fear, and on that day, the monster won. Today however I am older, wiser, and more in control, I shall not fear the monster any longer, as I will fight the war on my terms. Psalm 91:4-6“He will cover you with his pinions, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and buckler. You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness, nor the destruction that wastes at noonday.” Jesus comforts me, and protects me. I know I am protected as I go forward. The past cannot hurt me anymore, and I will not allow it to control me. Isaiah 41:10“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

 For all who deal with past traumas, hardships, and pain, there is always hope. Tomorrow doesn’t have to be full of darkness and pain. In order to be rid of it, we must first see our enemy and rise to the occasion to face it head on. God is with you, so if you have a past, face that past in a controlled and safe environment, don’t wait till tomorrow, live in peace today.

Two Worlds Collide

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Two Worlds Collide

A while back I met someone who was a different denomination as myself. While I never put much thought into the many denominations of Christianity, it wasn’t long before I started noticing a lot of differences in the way we worshipped. She had said something to me that caught me off guard one day, she said, ‘so you’re going to stop talking to me now aren’t you?’ I was taken aback when I heard that. I had never known anyone to be so worried about how others saw them based on their personal worship choice. That was a couple months ago and I’m happy to announce we are still friends despite significant differences in worship style.

A few months ago I met someone else, but instead of being a different denomination, they were a different religion all together. Come to find out they were a practicing Pagan. Much to my surprise it’s more common then I thought it was. I had decided I wanted to judge them by the content of their personality and their character not by the faith they chose to follow. (Not that we should be judging anyone) I found they were sweet, and kind, and caring, and generous, and an all around lovely human being. We should never be so quick to judge someone because when we do, when we judge based on their faith, or the way they look, we take away the possibility to learn, to witness and to truly meet wonderful people in this world. (Disclaimer: Satan worshipers truly do frighten me.)

It’s important for us as Christians to understand something; we are not to spend all of our time just hanging out and fellowshipping with other Christians. We cannot evangelize, we cannot minister, we cannot witness to unbelievers if we never go out of our own church. The Great Commission was very clear, “Go Forth to ALLthe nations of the world and baptize.” Given the opportunities in my life I’ve been able to share the gospel to many different faiths in my life. I have witnessed to Pagan’s, Muslims, Atheists, and while I don’t know if I’ve ever had an impact on their salvation, what I do know is it’s not my job to convert people. My job is to share the Gospel and the Truth of Jesus Christ, and to witness and love my neighbor. Once I do that the rest is in God’s hands. We can’t pick and choose who we want to talk about the Gospel to, we must understand that it’s never our place to judge others, and it’s important to know that while we may not be the direct link in the chain that causes someone’s heart to change, we must trust in God’s will, and God’s plan, and leave it up to faith.

In the past year however, I have also met a few different couples that their marriage is in trouble. It always hurts my heart knowing that marriages suffer, largely because I have been married twice, and both times I have been left standing alone trying to pick up the pieces of both a broken heart, and a broken life. The first time I got married, I married into a family that was completely non-religious. They weren’t atheists but I wouldn’t exactly call them Christian either. Sadly, at that time in my life, I was less concerned about differences in faith, than I was with being alone in life. When that marriage ended with an affair, and then the following destruction of everything I had I soon realized how important it was to not get into a relationship with someone who had a completely different set of morals than myself. My next marriage would be to a woman who’s family were devout Christians. I spent time getting to know them, watching them at church, seeing how they lived their lives, and even though no one’s perfect, I saw enough faith to determine I shouldn’t base someone’s past mistakes on their current standing with God. While that marriage also ended due to an affair, I have to acknowledge we as humans do become lost and walk on poor paths. I have learned my vetting process needs to be a lot more stringent and I need to focus more on how they worship, how they behave, and truly dive into their moral compass. That leads me to the next major point, the marriages that I have witnessed recently have been very unequally yoked.

Scripture tells us it’s not good for believers to be with unbelievers. 2 Corinthians 6:14“14 Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what [a]fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what [b]communion has light with darkness?” I am a firm believer that a persons faith is strongly tied into their moral compass. While this isn’t always the case, it will undoubtedly always create conflict. A persons faith will always come into play later in life, when it comes to children, or going to church, or even how we choose to treat one another. Generally when worlds collide it isn’t as epic as say a DC-Marvel cross over. While sometimes people of different faiths and religions, and cultures can get along great, that isn’t always the case. It’s important to be a united front in your life concerning your spouse. If you’re not on the same page it can cause a great deal of conflict, but even more so, if you’re not in the same book at all. I have often been a firm believer that you can “Love” someone, but that doesn’t mean they are right for you in a relationship. Love is a strange thing and while we may fall in love with someone of a different faith, or even someone whom we share nothing in common, we must realize that it takes more then LOVE to make a marriage work. Marriages that work are built from commonality, meaning similar interests, beliefs, goals, etc. Take out to many similarities and you may still love, but problems generally arise as cracks in the foundation become apparent. So what I’m trying to say is this, love everyone because it’s what we’re told to do. Be quick to listen and slow to speak. Learn and observe and always be respectful of those people you meet, even if they come from a different walk of life. Be careful of love that isn’t built on a well balanced foundation because if you jump into a marriage before the foundation is inspected, you may find that there are cracks and an uneven slab. You can’t build a house on a bad foundation. It’s okay to be friends with people of different faiths because it always gives us an opportunity to witness, so long as everyone is respectful and willing to listen. But most importantly, don’t sacrifice your own faith and love of Jesus Christ to try and make a relationship work. Our lives always have to love God first, then the rest follows. Jesus Christ always has to be our first love no matter how low we get, or how lonely. Always put your faith and trust in Christ and never sacrifice that belief for anyone.

 

 

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Rude

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Rude

2 Timothy 3:2-5“2For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, 3Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, 4Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; 5Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.”

The night is quiet as I’m the only one in the house. The white noise of the fan is the only sounds made in the whole house. The dogs are asleep, the cats too. While the world around me is calm, the same cannot be said for inside my mind tonight. As I have sat here facing one trial after another, I know that this is my trail, but the part that’s bothered me is how other people have been treating me. I have faced the new trend ‘ghosting’ and in this time of digital friendships, I have found that people have become selfish, rude, and the thoughts and feelings of others are little concern anymore.

We are told not to conform to this world, and as we look at our society now we see how many traits are actually called out in 2ndTimothy. In my struggle of frustrations, I realize that as much as it hurts sometimes all we can do is step back and pray for each situation. We cannot actually change the hearts of people. All we can do is have faith in the Lords plan and believe in the Holy Spirit’s healing and changing powers. Remember though that people are people and people make mistakes. We must try to give the benefit of the doubt and work with love in our hearts.

While I wish people would be more loyal, and that they would stick more to their word, but ultimately people will do and follow a path they see best fits them. The only way we can combat that kind of behavior is through love. It’s hard for us to manage being hurt and going through that sometimes regularly, but Love must be the first last and only line of defense. We must be gently but firmly honest with loving overtones.

It’s our job as Christians to ensure we do not fall into the sin Paul writes about in Timothy. While the world will tell you, ‘the only one who will ever look out for you, is you.’ While this is potentially true, it teaches a self-centered point of view. Life isn’t always sunshine and roses and we must accept that people sometimes struggle. That doesn’t mean we need to push anyone away just because they are having troubles. Our place is to love, and to be there in people time of need. But if YOU happen to be the one being rude and ghosting, and being selfish, knock it off, it’s not nice, and it’s not Christ like at all.

Why Can’t I Drive The Car?

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Why Can’t I Drive The Car?

Have you ever wondered why your parents told you, ‘no you can’t drive the car.’? The answer is pretty obvious, you’re not ready. We are equally young in our faith. We start off as it says in scripture on the milk, and eventually work our way up to the meat and potatoes. When we are but babies in our mothers arms we are cared for and provided for in everything we may need. When we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior, John 3:16“16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” This is just the skim of scripture, the milk as it were. This is what you must understand as a baby Christian, but this isn’t where your journey ends, it’s only the beginning. When you become a Christian your true life starts, and everything before it was merely just learning blocks in preschool preparing you for life as a Christian. I myself have experienced many tragedies, traumas, hardships, and heartbreak. There’s also been much joy, and happiness, and blessings along the way. Each and every event in my life at some point in time can be used for me to further the gospel of Jesus Christ. We all have experiences that mold our perspective, and in that we all have our own vantage points, and that uniqueness is a gift from God.

1 Corinthians 12:1-11”12 Now concerning spiritual gifts, brethren, I do not want you to be ignorant: 2 You know that[a] you were Gentiles, carried away to these dumb[b] idols, however you were led. 3 Therefore I make known to you that no one speaking by the Spirit of God calls Jesus [c]accursed, and no one can say that Jesus is Lord except by the Holy Spirit. 4 There are [d]diversities of gifts, but the same Spirit. 5 There are differences of ministries, but the same Lord. 6 And there are diversities of activities, but it is the same God who works [e]all in all. 7 But the manifestation of the Spirit is given to each one for the profit of all: 8 for to one is given the word of wisdom through the Spirit, to another the word of knowledge through the same Spirit, 9 to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healings by [f]the same Spirit, 10 to another the working of miracles, to another prophecy, to another discerning of spirits, to another different kinds of tongues, to another the interpretation of tongues. 11 But one and the same Spirit works all these things, distributing to each one individually as He wills.”

With each of our gifts and ministries we can be apart of, because we are but babies fresh into the faith, we aren’t ready to focus on our gifts and ministries. It takes time, but we jump in right away and test the waters. As part of our path we are to grow in our walk with Christ, and also in our own gifts. Like any pro athlete, or musician, practice, repetition, and guidance must be used to grow in skill, and to become proficient. Scripture is the same way. We cannot truly excel if we never move beyond the milk. If we are content in baby stage are we truly doing all that we can to bring glory to God?

1 Corinthians 12:12-14 “12 For as the body is one and has many members, but all the members of that one body, being many, are one body, so also is Christ. 13 For by one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—whether Jews or Greeks, whether slaves or free—and have all been made to drink [g]into one Spirit. 14 For in fact the body is not one member but many.”We must understand that before a baby can walk first it must develop strong kneecaps, and the muscles in its legs and hips must grow and develop. As a child grows we accept that we start off slow, and work our way to harder things along the way. Our brains grow and develop as we learn new things, experiences in life form us, shape us, and hopefully we have a strong spiritual family to shape us as God fearing children. But what does this have to do with driving the car? If God wanted us to get right to going out and telling people about Jesus Christ and share the hope and love to all, we would be gifted with all the right things to say, all the scripture we’d ever need, and we’d have all the answers. That’s not the case though. You wouldn’t let a 10 year old drive you to Walmart because they aren’t mature enough, their brains haven’t matured yet, even their size may not be mature enough yet. But when the time is right they will one day come to you and want to learn how to drive and that’s when you look at them and start to train them on drivers safety. The key word in that sentence is train them. When Paul was blinded on the road to Damascus he was gifted by God, the Holy Spirit, and yet he went to be vetted, and trained by the Apostles for 3 years before he started to evangelize, preach, and teach. We must be trained in the ways of the Lord, and we get there by reading, studying, learning about God, and using our trails to help build us for trials down our path that will be harder then before.

With every passing day of doing Yoga the workout will get easier and easier. Eventually I will no longer get anything from them and I can either sit idle, or I can move on to the next step. I wouldn’t want to start off at level 3 or 4, but it forces me to continue to grow. The key word in that sentence is grow. Every day we are on this planet we are given the opportunity to grow closer to God. Every trial we face, every love we have, every skinned knee, job, and loss, and anything else you can think of is an opportunity to grow closer to our Father. We can look at our lives with frustration, and anger, and bitterness if we want to, but ultimately that will not change your situation, nor will it bring you closer to God. If we truly hated our children we could give them the keys at 10 years old and tell them to knock themselves out, and they likely would, literally. The disaster that would come from allowing your child to go through such an experience when they were clearly not ready for it, all you would do is set them up to fail. While there is a lesson for failure, this is not the context for that lesion. All of you new age Yoda fans, sorry, not today. Being good stewards of our gifts, and not squandering them, not being foolish and careless, and being wise and deliberate with the spiritual gifts, and most importantly the gift of life is by far the most important lesion we could learn. Each lesson we face we should try to find the good in it, and understand that our lessons may be a chance to witness to others, or a chance to grow to God, or an attack of the Devil, or an attack of this world. It’s even very possible that the hardships or lessons of your own doing. We are often our greatest enemy causing our own pains along the way. God will usually try to get us to stay away from a particular path, but if we ignore the warning signs and choose to drive straight for the cliff, that’s on us. So before you start throwing a temper tantrum about how unfair God is, ask yourself how you can serve God no matter what circumstance you may find yourself in. And don’t rush into things you’re clearly not ready for, that’s one of those signs saying ‘cliff ahead’, but if you like cliff jumping, by all means, jump away. Just remember, sometimes God will stop you from splatitng on the rocks below, sometimes he wont.

 

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God Said and We Must Trust

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God Said and We Must Trust

Genesis 2:1818 And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”

Some days when I feel alone, when I feel discouraged, I think back to what God said and I know that in this season I may be alone, but I must put my faith in God that He has a plan bigger than I can see. It’s not easy going through life without the things we desire most, but if something is truly good for us the Lord will provide when the time is right. Being patient is one of the hardest things we as humans have to do. There are a lot of things I am patient with, but being alone is not one of them. While some people can go their entire lives alone, some people are wired for those human connections. Be strong in your faith, and trust in the Lord. Walk closely with Christ and listen to what the Holy Spirit is telling you. Find your purpose God has planned for you, and always trust in the process. God doesn’t make mistakes, and for every hardship, tragedy, struggle, God is with you working out the details. Do not loose hope, and do not despair, Jesus Christ is the truth, the way, the life. In his death we were given eternal hope, so never fear tomorrow, focus on today, and trust the plan. God

I Don’t Have The Answers

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I Don’t Have The Answers

With so much pain in the world, and so much selfishness, I can honestly say I don’t have all the answers. I see people when they are low, and I see people when they are on top of the world, but the only answer I have is Jesus Christ. The only hope I have is knowing that I’m not alone and even at times when it feels like the whole world is against me, I know I have Christ in my corner. There’s never been a moment I have been without Christ. I have been through Hell, and I’ve seen horrible things happen to people all around me. The only answers I have are those I find in the Holy Book. I have walked this walk for so long and doing it my own way only led to disaster. Trying to rebuild from catastrophe after catastrophe is exhausting. While I may not have all the answers, I can say with authority what not to do. I can say what I’ve ended up with, and if I’m being completely honest I have lost nearly everything, twice. I know that Satan pushes us, Sin pushes us, the world pushes us, and God pulls us. We are fools if we don’t seek Godly counsel in our paths. Proverbs 12:15 15“The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, But he who heeds counsel is wise.”In my walk I found I had gotten lazy. I put off going to church, I put off my studies, and shortly after my life fell apart. As soon as I put down my armor the attack came and I was ill prepared to face it. My lack of preparedness was evident as my fall from the tower I had built.

Life is hard, and it can be cruel and unforgiving. Mistakes can haunt us for the rest of our lives, and we sometimes have to live with the foolish decisions we’ve made. What I can say is we must turn to God in our foolishness and ask for forgiveness. We must repent with our hearts, and trust that God will take us just the way we are. When we accept Jesus into our lives, He changes us. We are reborn like the phoenix, the fire burns away the old self leaving what God put in us all along. 1 John 4:1“Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world.” When we follow Christ we are often tested, and people may come into our lives as part of that test. We must realize that not everything is as it appears. Some things that may look like blessings on the surface may not truly be, and it’s up to us to test that. Do not be caught unawares. Be careful whom you become attached to. I have failed in this more time then I care to admit, and each time I have felt the sting of rejection, and it’s led me to a dark place inside myself. Not everyone we meet will lift us up, some are there to tear you down. It’s up to us to let scripture and the Holy Spirit guide us. When we stand apart from the world, it will be harder to find those to lift us up. Do not allow your loneliness to compromise your integrity for the companionship and lure of the flesh you so long for. Be earnest in your prayers to God, follow His plan for you, trust in Him, and submit yourself to know when the time is right, God will take care of you.

The Devil Attacks In The Night

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The Devil Attacks In The Night

I lay awake, the pain shoots through my body, waking me in a fit of coughing. I breathe heavily, and gasp for air. The memory of thoughts I had come rushing back. The voice in my head spreading lies and hoping I break. The lies tell me I’m worthless and I’m not someone anyone could love. The lies tell me I’m always going to be alone. The Devil tries to convince me God has forsaken me and that he no longer loves me. The Devil tells me God is withholding this blessing I pray for every day. I’m weakened by many hardships in recent weeks and some of the lies deep through the cracks in the armor.

 

Alone at night and with nowhere to turn I cry. I feel the anger bubbling inside as the voice of Yoda rings in my mind. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering. That is the voice of truth. I have become angry, and as I struggle with the lies and the truth, and the logic somewhere mixed in, I’m left with a mixed bag of complex emotions. What would Jesus say to me if he were here with me? I believe he would tell me to have faith. I believe he would tell me to hold onto his robe and trust that even though I can’t see it there’s a plan. He would tell me that though this trial is a horrible one to trust in Him and believe that I’m not alone. I believe Christ would tell me to resist the lies from The deceiver and cast Satan away. I believe Christ would tell me how special I am, how important I am, and how loved I am. I believe Christ is with me in this dark room, adding light to my despair.

 

The darkness can come at any time, and when you’re down, and depressed the evil will creep in and capitalize on that fear and doubt. My fear is a dent that would cause any para-demon to salivate over. I would lure them in and be forced to face Stepenwolf himself. I know that fear leads to anger, because I want to scream, and yell, and cry. I take a moment and hold my anger in and pray instead. Jesus be with me to calm my spirit, heal my heart, and quiet my mind. I know deep in the storm I will be rescued because God doesn’t make mistakes. I was saved from death for a reason, and though the Devil would like me to forget, the scar on my shoulder reminds me that Jesus is with me always.

 

If you feel like I do don’t worry for Jesus loves you too. Never fear of being alone for simply believing in Christ and he’ll be right by your side. Don’t give up hope because so long as you breathe there will always be hope. Jesus is Pure light and darkness cannot survive in the light. I’ve been so angry I want to scream and hit stuff. I’ve been so down I want to cry and never get out of bed. The doubt I have about myself is strong, and the horrible thoughts of the past run through my mind. All are lies from the Devil.1 Peter 5:8 “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:” We must remain strong and resist the lies that are whispered. The Devil wants you to believe you’re all alone in your struggles. The Devil wants you to believe that if you put yourself before all things, all things will fall into place. The Devil wants you to believe that it’s in the one thing we want that will make us happy. The Devil wants you to believe that what you can see, touch, taste, feel, is all we will ever need. Lastly, the Devil wants you to believe you’ll never be good enough. These are the lies of the Devil, and they hit us all in a very real, very tangible war. The struggles to fight this kind of war can be difficult, especially when loneliness and isolation begin. How do we fight such attacks, and what do we do when the attack comes?

 

The Devil has seen to it that in the last two years I’ve been isolated and has blocked every chance I’ve had at meeting new people, making new friends, and perhaps even finding love again. The Devil has been planting lies in my head and after two years of fighting, I have seen the cracks appear in the armor. I have wavered in my defense against the darkness, and slowly it creeps in covering my eyes. The thought has crept in that maybe, just maybe it would have been better had I not survived my horrific accident nearly two years ago. The lies have become shrouded in half-truths. The lies have been based on fact, twisting the cause, making me question who I am, my purpose in life, and my self worth. The doubts about myself have been strong, and it feels like the push against my shield is forcing me back towards the ledge, my spiked sandals buried into the ground trying with everything to hold my ground. How long can I hold out against such an attack, I ask myself. How long can I fight the Devils onslaught? That’s when it occurs to me, the truth, the truth enlightened my eyes, the truth from God.

 

I am under attack because I am moving in the right direction. I am under attack because I am sharing the Gospel every day. I am under attack because I am in training. I am Luke Skywalker on the Death Star facing against the darkness, listening to the Devil lie to me, fueling my anger, fueling my hatred, that’s the dark side of the force I feel, and I will not be tempted by it. I will not succumb to it. I will resist with the strength of the light and I will not give the Devil the satisfaction of winning this war. I am a threat to the Devil and I know it. I have the ability given to me by God to deliver scripture to others. I have been blessed by God for a purpose, for a mission that I have now chosen to accept. I couldn’t figure out why this depression had set in, why I had felt so lost, and alone, why so many rejections have been all around me. I realize now, it’s the attack I thought I had prepared for. I knew when I started the Devil would come for me, and it happened so slowly I hadn’t realized I was under attack. The Devil is cunning, and slippery, and determined, but ultimately, the Devil is desperate. The Devil is sad, and broken, and knows He’ll never win the fight. The Devil wants others to join in his misery, his tormented heart. Misery loves company, and he tries to bring others down with him. I felt the draw to the darkness, and for weeks I’ve fought the hopelessness, the hurt, the fear. I truly believed it would have been better off if things had gone differently two years ago. (Not saying I’d do anything now, now worries)The Devil uses anything he can to sway his argument, and he uses our pain, and our fears against us. The fight must continue on, we must remain strong, we must not give in to the darkness. Stand firm, and use the shield and the Armor of God Ephesians 6:10-18 to get you though some of the worst spiritual warfare you’ll ever experience. There is always hope, just follow the light, the light of Jesus Christ.

 

 

When the World Is Just Weird

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When the World Is Just Weird

I was talking to someone very important in my life today. They stood up for me in a big way, and said some very nice things. I don’t generally get a lot of positive reinforcement in my life, and over the last two years of so many rejections I’ve lost count, I have come to appreciate the positive stuff when it does come my way. Sometimes our blessings can come from the strangest of places. Once in a while a hidden gem shines through and the brilliant light that glimmers is a reminder that God is always working even when times seem the most bleak. It’s not always easy to see the silver lining in the storm. Sometimes we get so overwhelmed with the bad things, the continual crashing of the waves as we are just bobbing in the water trying to stay afloat. When all we can taste is the salt, and the roar of the waves drowns out our own screams for help, we have to remember that somewhere out there is a rescue swimmer ready to pull us out. I heard a saying one time that God is doing one of three things. 1. He’s walking along side you. 2. He’s pushing you along. 3. He’s dragging you out of the battle zone. See, we aren’t ever alone, and even when we feel like we are, we don’t know who’s about to come into our lives, or what’s going on in someone’s life to give you a little encouragement.

We know that this life isn’t easy, and that sometimes it’s just downright unfair. The thing about life though is we are told from the beginning that it’s not fair, and we should expect it. 1 Peter 4:12-13 “12 Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you; 13 but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ’s sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy.” Partaking in Christ’s sufferings… That’s a powerful statement, and one I would say we miss more often then not. When we think of the crucifixion we think of the beating Christ took. Most of us has seen The Passion of the Christ, and how brutal the Romans were. The fact is, Christ did endure the worst kind of torture any of us could imagine, and then was forced to carry his own cross for miles to the place where he would be nailed and tied to it before being lifted up where his full weight would be pulling down causing extreme agony, and a struggle to breathe. All of this however isn’t the true suffering. While this was an attack on his physical body, the attack of the soul was far more upsetting. Christ was both son of, and God at the same time. These are 3 distinct parts of the trinity when added to the Holy Spirit. Each of the parts separate, but together as one. We have a hard time understanding this concept, but in reality, if mortals could understand it, then God wouldn’t be God. Jesus grew up his whole life as part of that Holy Trinity. While we don’t know much about his early life, we do know he was teaching at the Temples early in his life. He spoke with the authority of a high priest, yet only a boy with such knowledge and understanding of the Holy Scriptures. We don’t know if he showed divine powers as a child or if they manifested when he was ready. We do know that before Christ started his ministry he attended a wedding in which the wine ran out, and his mother Mary, asked him to perform a miracle and turn that water into wine. She knew he had the power to do so, or she wouldn’t have asked. So here’s a man roughly 34 years old who’s been God on earth feeling, and growing as a mortal man, but hanging on that cross something had to happen in order for our sins to be paid for by the ransom in blood. Christ must be made apart so the full divine wrath could be poured out onto him in payment for the sins of all mankind. Going from divine to mortal in the blink of an eye, and then feeling the full wrath of God attacking your very soul. How much emotional suffering that must have been for Christ? Another avenue to consider is how difficult it must have been for Christ to stay on that cross? Christ being God he could have turned every last Roman into morning doves, or even a single celled ameba’s. He had to make a choice to endure the pain, the suffering the ridicule. A choice he knew the consequences to. Love concurred over hate that day on Skull Mountain. From the fall from grace mankind has watched as hate covered the land in darkness. Greed, perversion, anger, hatred, selfishness, all the deepest darkest recesses of our brains and our hearts laid out in the most horrific acts imaginable. Today we see child rape, murders, wars, thievery, forced slavery, selfish dictatorships, and a plethora of other horrible displays of man’s wickedness. Christ knew and saw our future, and there were times when he told the Apostles about our future and yet he made the choice, the most unselfish choice anyone would ever make, “to lady down their life for a friend.” Christ not only voluntarily endured the worst pain and torture by man imaginable, he chose to endure the wrath of the Father completely for the sins of man. We as people can barely give up a few dollars to help the beggar on the street corner let alone forgive all of mankind for the worst traits imaginable.

We think it’s strange sometimes the little things we do for one another, and here’s our Lord and Savior that has done the unthinkable, and we are so small we can’t understand the magnitude of what this truly meant for us. It certainly shows how ungrateful we are. We have so many opportunities to share the Love of Christ with others and how often do we let it slip down the drain? We watch as a fallen world is plagued with death, and rape, and mass killings, and bombings, and weapons of mass destruction, and yet when we get the opportunity to give a little peace, to show a little love, to lift someone up, are we taking those chances? Sometimes the least likely people or person lifts us up in our lives. Last year around Christmas time I was in the Wal*Mart parking lot and a truck pulled up, the man driving asked me to come to the passenger door, and when I did he handed me an object. The object was a $100 dollar bill. I couldn’t believe it, but there it was in my hand, the generosity of a stranger, in the Wal*Mart parking lot. While I can go on and on about the wonderful things a few people have done. We are so surprised when random acts of kindness pop up in our lives, but if we were to truly think about it, why is that? Why do these acts of kindness happen so infrequently? In a world where Jesus told us to go forth baptizing all the people of the world, to spread the word the hope and love of Jesus Christ, and to love our neighbors as ourselves, can we honestly say we are doing that? When was the last time any of us did a random act of kindness for a stranger? I’m blessed to have some great friends who do nice things for me pretty often. I try within my means to do nice things for them in return just as often. I try to be nice, and kind, and respectful to everyone I meet. But when we look at acts of kindness as weird or bizarre, I would say that we as Christians have failed in the mission we’ve been given by Christ. Acts of kindness should be commonplace not a rarity. Showing love to those around us shouldn’t be reserved for those people we know, but for everyone we meet. When we look at the sacrifice made for us, and yet we can’t even do the one small thing Christ asked us to do, shame on us. We need to do better. Now don’t get me wrong, we are told to be good stewards of our gifts from God so please use a little common sense and verify your kindness isn’t going to be taken advantage of.

It’s not a hard thing to do to be nice to others. Today when I was told such wonderful things from one of the most unlikely of places, it reminded me that there is love in this world even if we don’t see it often. Today I saw many acts of kindness come my way, and as I’ve been actively trying to fight the onset of depression, those random acts of kindness went a long way. There are so many things we can do for others, hold the door, give the right away while driving, saying please and thank you, asking someone how their day went, and so many more. We never know how just the smallest act of kindness can change someone’s entire day. Do something unexpected, do something wonderful, and remember if Christ was willing to take on everything He endured, the least we can do is put a little love back into this world.

 

 

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 What Gets You Excited?

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 What Gets You Excited?

Do you have anything that attacks your senses and just gets you 8 years old excited? For me there’s few things in life that get me excited. I am not usually excited by much as I’ve gotten older. As more tragedies have occurred in my life more and more joys have been snuffed out. I no longer look forward to holidays as I used to, and slowly even television shows I once loved would soon just be watched out of habit, not out of excitement. I still get excited when I hear the new theme from the 2009 Star Trek. I find that excitement in my stomach happens at the theme, and it reminds me of a time period in my life when it provided comfort, and hope. In your life, what gives you comfort and hope? What about the hope that Jesus Christ offers you? Does the blood that gives us everlasting life comfort you?

How do we know what true hope is? Do we find our hope in people? Do we place our happiness and sense of belonging or self worth in the hands of sinful people? Human Beings are all sinful no matter how upright, or righteous anyone is. While years may pass before anything happens, so one can go their entire life without making a mistake. Sinful behavior happens within all of us, and thus at some point we will undoubtedly hurt those around us. In my own life I have often placed my self worth in what others thought of me. In the last few weeks I’ve had several big upsets in my social (if you can call what I have social) circle. Most of my relationships are digital ones and sadly most digital relationships, or so-called friendships are barely friendships. While this is not a blanket black and white statement I do believe it’s generally accurate. I believe most people aren’t looking for anything real, that they just want filler in their lives. I believe most people only want positive and uplifting conversation. At the first sign of any conflict people will leave without a word. At the first disagreement over anything they leave. I’ve been ghosted or abandoned enough times that in my life I can honestly say I have seen this first hand. As I have struggled with keeping friends in my life, I have often asked myself why people don’t like me, or don’t want me around. I have watched this in my life over and over and as I’ve struggled to change the outcomes but in each situation I’ve failed to change the end result. The impact on my self-esteem has been drastic. The change in my mood has been so drastic in the last few weeks it’s caused a mild depression to set in. The fact that I have allowed my feelings to be impacted so heavily by people I’ve never met is foolish at best. The desire to make friends has led me to different phone apps, different websites, different Facebook pages, and I have yet to have many positive experiences in the last two years. I’m not saying depression can always be avoided, but for me, if I were to stop placing my value in the hands of others, I would probably be much happier. What does scripture say about having hope?

Romans 15:13“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” During the old testament scripture is filled with God’s disappointment with the way in which Israel conducted itself. Within the messianic prophesies the Jewish people were looking forward to the savior that would come and save them from the hands of their enemies. What they would fail to realize was the hope they would have would not be to save them from their enemies, the Romans, or any other aggressor, it would be to save them from eternal death. In our time we look back to the Cross for our hope, and we know and understand that it was the blood shed on the cross that gave us hope. What’s hard for us in this life is dealing with the hurt, the pain, the suffering brought on by a sinful, fallen world. Heaven is more then our minds can comprehend and we see life as fair or unfair based on our particular point of view. Growing up I often felt that life was unfair. I watched others with more money wear nicer clothes, had bigger Christmas’s, and were more involved in school. I watched as popular kids had parties, and had plenty of friends. I suffered from a semi rare birth defect that left me self conscious and different. I struggled as over the years I would be forced to take time off from school to undergo a surgery. Having to explain my absence to other students became difficult at best. Not having a standard childhood I struggled with simple concepts of emotions. I spent time in church and during that time as scattered as my teaching was, I held hope that God had a plan for me. As more and more trauma’s and struggles happened to me I felt I had done something wrong and I was being punished by God as Israel had once been.

Growing up I sometimes had the gift to see events before they happened. I would see things in dreams, or sometimes just strong feelings before an event. When I was in Iraq I knew there was an IED near an area. I sensed it, and even though my feelings were dismissed I would find out not 15 minutes later I was right. In that attack four soldiers; four friends lost their lives. That was the last time I ever had a premonition of the future. I thought for the longest time I was doomed to suffer this whole life. I struggled for years thinking God was angry with me, and I would eventually give up on feeling better. It would be years before I felt God had finally given me a gift. I cherished the love he had given me, and I made my way back to church and back into God’s word. I learned in time that it isn’t God that brings us pain, it’s people, it’s sin, it’s personal choice, but in all things God gives us hope. Romans 12:12“Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.” We are along on this ride, this roller coaster and we never know what surprises we might find. We cannot see the future and we must just accept that in this life it’s a blessing to wake up every day. It’s only by grace that we have life, and we must above all else be thankful that while we are ambassadors of this life that means this isn’t home. We have a brighter tomorrow once this life has ended. Isaiah 40:31“But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” It’s not easy, but we must find our joy within Christ. We must find our peace within the knowledge that this life isn’t everything. While it may be difficult at times, we must allow ourselves to keep pushing forward. Do not fear tomorrow, do not dread it, for we have a promise from God. Deuteronomy 31:6“Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”

While I cannot say I have mastered the art of not worrying about tomorrow, I can say the hope and love of Christ is what keeps me waking up in the morning. I can say that even on my darkest of days when I feel like everyone has forsaken me, I know that I still have Jesus Christ. While I do hurt from a lack of companionship, I know that the future can hold anything. God’s blessings are endless and I cannot loose sight of that hope. If we could understand and comprehend God, the entity we know as God wouldn’t truly be God. We cannot comprehend the perfection of Heaven. We cannot understand the complete nature of grace, and we can never understand the true level of Love shared by God. That being said, it’s in that love we must find excitement, find joy, and find the strength to carry on no matter how dark the path may seem.