Tag: scars

The Light On The Hill

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The Light On The Hill

Surviving is something I don’t think we put enough emphasis on. We joke about stuff like, ‘I survived black Friday.’ And while this is true, technically and in some cases, legitimate, it most often, is an exaggeration of a set of circumstances. Once in a while though, someone will go something truly difficult and, in those difficulties, we often look inward, ‘am I a bad person?’ I have talked to survivors of rape and for many it took a long time for them to take the blame off of themselves and place it with the attacker. Survivors guilt is similar, ‘it should have been me.’ It seems, and this is of course from a layman’s perspective, that we tend to carry burdens that we should not. 

I’m very guilty of this and sadly not just once, but over and over in my life. Starting off from childhood, I blamed myself for the bad things that happened in my life, even to the ridiculous, where I would have had no way to stop the event from happening. In time I would be called on a habit, and that was living in a victim mentality. Not to detract from the events themselves, but a change in the frame of mind was needed. Technically it was true, I was a victim of a lot of very awful things. But when someone beats cancer we don’t call them a victim of cancer, no, we call them a survivor. We as a society have started shifting the mindset of surviving rape, instead of being a rape victim. We must truly start to look at our lives as what we have survived, thus looking at each event from a positive perspective, rather than a negative one. Now, please don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that just because you call yourself a survivor means it will heal every wound, it won’t. Healing takes time, and one thing that has been proven is by changing the mindset about an event, may help speed up the healing time, or, it may allow the wound to heal more thoroughly. 

Recently, I was given some advice. A few years back I made a choice, and that choice had dyer consequences. My choice, nearly cost me my own life, but it cost the relationship of nearly a dozen people in my life. I have shied away from talking about this even very often in general company. It’s both, not something I enjoy talking about, but also something that may bring a mix of emotions and judgments. This fear of rejection, and judgment has given me pause to discuss it. The thing is, the advice given was to use what happened, instead of hiding from it. Advise I analyze here. 

For so many, people are self-defined by their traumas. We often define ourselves by something, For years I defined myself as a veteran, or before that a soldier. I defined myself as married, divorced, married, divorced, broken, a Christian. Are you an athlete, an artist, a doctor, a teacher, etc. When we define ourself we risk writing in our brain of who we are, in a way the job we have, or some status is truly a defining feature of who we are. Our actions define who we are. What we do, not what we are underneath that defines us. Scripture tells us, Matthew 7:16“Ye shall know them by their fruits.” This is referring to the many people who would come, being false prophets, wolves in sheep’s clothing. Scripture goes on to say to keep an eye on the type of fruit being born of those kinds of works. I will say, while something may look good right away, give it time, allow the true nature to shine. People have gotten good at packaging an evil or corrupted message, to make it sound good, but over time the vinier fades, the rust shows up, and the light shines on the darkness revealing the secrets. 

We all have a chance, an opportunity to allow the awful things that happen to us, to be used for the glory of the Father. We all have the opportunity to use the pains we feel, and turn that pain into strength. So many people allow that pain to fester, to become an infectious agent inside their soul. When I think back to characters such as Jeremiah. Here you have a guy, he’s been faithful for a long time telling the people of Jerusalem the fate that will befall them after years of them failing to listen. Now the time of reconning comes, and the final warning Jeremiah gives is to the people is to surrender and live. Of course, this doesn’t go so well with the army and the officers tell the King, let’s kill this guy! The King of course did not want Jeremiah to die but also didn’t want to have the army officers turn on him, so the officers took Jeremiah and threw him in a well with no water, only mud, and he sank. This guy, trying to do the right thing, trying to proclaim the word of God, and what does he get for his trouble? He’s tossed into a well to starve to death. Eventually Jerusalem is captured and he survives the siege. 

Let us look at another character. Lets take a look at Paul. Paul is a man who was filled with anger, and hate, and with all that malice, he was given permission to hunt down and imprison, or kill, Christians in the city of Damascus. Paul, or as he’s called before Damascus, Saul, is blinded by the Lord and confronted by Jesus Christ. In the years following his conversion, Paul is faced with one horrific event after another. He would not only face emotional traumas, but physical as well. He would be beaten (multiple times), stoned, imprisoned (multiple times), ship wrecked, bitten by a viper, and eventually beheaded. Here’s a man who left wealth, prestige, power, and comfort, for what he knew to be the truth. He moved from comfortable to miserable, but in misery, he grew strong in faith. He never stopped sharing the love of Christ. He never stopped sharing the truth that is Jesus Christ. He was willing to die for that truth, and he knew through revelation he would die for the name of Christ, a fate he never feared. He chose to stand on his faith, no matter what the world would do to him. Christians are called to be Ambassadors, meaning we live here, but are not of here (Earth). Yes we are humans, but our place is in Heaven for eternity. Do we allow our light to shine despite the world? 

It isn’t easy to smile in the face of steep opposition. It isn’t easy to be positive when a hurricane takes your home. It isn’t easy when the coworker lies and gets you fired. It isn’t easy when your ex-wife is so angry she makes decisions that truly have the potential to destroy everything you’ve ever worked for. It isn’t easy when the husband has an affair and rips a family apart. It isn’t easy when cancer take the life of a loved one. The list of course is endless, to the potential life changing, devastating events that happen to people around the globe every single day. No matter what the event is, at the end of the day, regardless of the pain you feel, if you wake up at the next sunrise, you have survived. I am in no means down playing the hurt, the physical feeling that the emotional can leave behind. I have been in several of those examples I gave, plus others I did not list. I know full well, and good, how hard it is. But, what I do know is the Devil has not taken one thing from me, my salvation. The Devil will lie to you, and tell you all kinds of things about how you’re not good enough, or no one can ever love you now, or you’ll never make it to heaven with the past you have, etc. The Devil cannot steal your joy, and thus, cannot snuff out your light. Does the light go out on some Christians? Sure, it does, but here’s why. Spiritual warfare is an every day battle. If you don’t wear your armor every day, and if you are not in the word of God, allowing Him to renew your spirit, yes, the world can be heavy. If you do not buckle in for the long road, you can be beaten down, stepped on, crushed under the weight of the world. The Devil cannot steal your joy if you guard your heart. Your joy should shine the light of Christ, and it should do so as a survivor. We saved, are promised eternal salvation, a fate we did not earn, one we don’t deserve, but through grace we are saved from the fate we do deserve, death. See, we are survivors, we survive the grave, we survive the eternal death, the damnation promised for those who deny Christ. If we are truly survivors, and have survived the worst outcome of all, why then do we choose to remain labeled as a victim. Never once did Paul call himself a victim of such events. 

2 Corinthians 11:22-31 22 Are they Hebrews? So am I. Are they Israelites? So am I. Are they the seed of Abraham? So am I. 23 Are they ministers of Christ?—I speak as a fool—I am more: in labors more abundant, in stripes above measure, in prisons more frequently, in deaths often. 24 From the Jews five times I received forty stripes minus one. 25 Three times I was beaten with rods; once I was stoned; three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I have been in the deep; 26 in journeys often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils of my own countrymen, in perils of the Gentiles, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren; 27 in weariness and toil, in sleeplessness often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness— 28 besides the other things, what comes upon me daily: my deep concern for all the churches. 29 Who is weak, and I am not weak? Who is made to stumble, and I do not burn with indignation?

30 If I must boast, I will boast in the things which concern my [d]infirmity. 31 The God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who is blessed forever, knows that I am not lying.

Never once does Paul complain about his suffering in the name of Jesus, because he knew, as I am trying to tell you, Gods got better plans for you after this life. You can look out your window and see a world on fire, I think we’ve all seen what’s been going on in this world right now. We see a world torn, on fire, divided, famine, storms, but through it all, this broken fallen world, is not the end for us. We must be the beacon on the hill. We must be the light that snuff out the darkness, not the production of the light, but we are the moon to Christ’s sun. If Christ is the light, we must be the reflection of that light in the darkness. We must be the hope people in darkness sees. We must look different and every chance we get tell people why. We must remain lit, not hiding under the bed, not under the basket, but held high. We must not allow our joy to be extinguished. Stay firm in the Armor of God, and get ready for darker days ahead. We are survivors, not victims. We must tell the world, tell everyone, and be a billboard the Truth, Jesus Christ is Lord and Savior. Jesus saved a wretch like me, deserving nothing, deserving death, but instead through the blood, I am given new life. Those who accept Jesus, repent and put away the old selves, shall have eternal life with God. Survivors. We all have hardships, and yes those hardships leave scars, and like a cast for a broken bone, sometimes we need to get help for the emotional scars also. Remember though, Christ is the ultimate healer, the great physician. 

Do not spend time pitying yourself, stand up, dust off, and rise up with Christ beside you. No matter where you are, shine brightly with the Lord with you, shining, always be the reflection of the Son, who died and rose for you. 

Sacrifice

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Sacrifice

What would you be willing to give up for Christ? If you knew then entrance into Heaven was to give up something, a sacrifice of some great importance to you, what would that look like? When you look back at the Apostle Paul and you consider what he gave up, his sacrifice was extensive. To understand completely you first need to understand who Paul was. Prior to his conversion on the road to Damascus, he was a high ranking Pharisee. He had studied under some of the greatest priests, and had notoriety of celebrity proportion. Paul had power, he had authority, he had money, and he had a life of luxury. What would possess a man to give up all that for a life of beatings, of poverty, of torture, of prison time, in what we would call a dungeon by today’s standards. Paul would have had a life of comfort and as he had a reputation cruelty and hatred towards Christians he wouldn’t have much to worry about in the ways of suffering. That’s not what God had planned for him however. As he was known prior to Damascus as Saul, his transformation seen in Acts was not the following of someone looking to better their life with hope. Saul was living large and gave everything up because of what God had done to him on that dirt road. He would loose his sight for three days, and in the years following he would face persecution by those whom he at one time would have been looked up to. He gave up everything of comfort imaginable for a life of uncertainty, pain, and suffering. No one would do this if they weren’t absolutely sure of the truth.

Psalm 54:66 I will freely sacrifice to You; I will praise Your name, O Lord, for it is good.” David knew as King, he was promised the position by God, and by God it would be taken away. We see David fail in his responsibilities as King, and his choices lead to dire consequences. But in all things, David would understand eventually the error of his ways, and he realized he must sacrifice the sin nature that dwells within the heart, and trust in the Lord.

Isaiah 1:11“To what purpose is the multitude of your sacrifices to Me?” Says the Lord. “I have had enough of burnt offerings of rams And the fat of fed cattle. I do not delight in the blood of bulls, Or of lambs or goats.” God is telling Israel He doesn’t burnt offerings, he’s not looking for the outward symbols of sacrifice, what He wants is the inward sacrifice. He wants to see the hearts of his people change. To give up ones self to become something else.

Mark 12:33“And to love Him with all the heart, with all the understanding, [a]with all the soul, and with all the strength, and to love one’s neighbor as oneself, is more than all the whole burnt offerings and sacrifices.” It’s not a matter of what we do for the Lord. Someone can go to a soup kitchen every day and volunteer. They can go to Church and sing some songs, even give some sermons, but it’s about what is on the Heart, and God knows the heart.

1 Corinthians 5:7“Therefore [a]purge out the old leaven, that you may be a new lump, since you truly are unleavened. For indeed Christ, our Passover, was sacrificed [b]for us.” This is referring to dough, the leaven, used to make bread. This is saying the old dough is bad, it’s sour, and it must be thrown away. The new bread, is that created by the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, and knowing He is the only truth, the only way to life everlasting. We begin to understand what is meant by sacrifice.

Again when we think about what Christ asked of his followers, drop your nets, drop whatever it was you were doing and instead, pick up your cross and follow “me”. Christ was asking these men to leave the certainty of a solid days work, their homes, money, food, in exchange for truth. Some of the Apostils like Matthew who was a wealthy tax collector gave up a lot to follow Christ. Matthew much like Paul had money, and power, and a nice home, nice clothing, and never had to worry much about the ways of suffering. It takes a lot for someone to give up a life of luxury for a life of uncertainty and eventually pain and suffering.

I have often thought of superheroes as being good examples of righteousness looks like. This is especially true when you look at some of the more squeaky clean heroes, Superman, Spiderman, Captain America, etc. While there may not be as much of a physical toll for each of these characters, there are certainly emotional tolls; this is particularly true with their personal relationships. Something is always sacrificed when duty calls and the costume comes out. For characters like Batman, the toll is emotional, and physical. Bruce Wayne literally gives up his body to fight the good fight. So what is it that we sacrifice in our own lives? Do we give up our time to work for charities? Do we give up our money to tithes? What about our freedom? Would we be willing to give up our home, our jobs, our life in the name of Jesus Christ? For many people there are limits, there’s what’s okay to give up in the name of Jesus, and then what’s not, and sadly, I think the same goes within our own hearts. We are willing to give fractions of our heart to Jesus, but if we’re honest about it, do we truly give 100%? I think this is something we as Christians truly need to examine. To truly submit, there is going to be a little suffering along the way.

When we are truly ready to submit to the Lord, the idea of wealth, power, fame, control, the very essence of what was promised to Christ in the temptation of Satan, we would be more willing to endure that of Isaiah 50:6“I gave My back to those who struck Me, And My cheeks to those who plucked out the beard; I did not hide My face from shame and spitting.” No one truly wants to be beaten, or ridiculed, or imprisoned, but to sacrifice means, to give up the desires of the flesh, to be apart of this world, so that in Heaven we would be in the grace of the one true King. Jesus Christ came to serve his people, He came to be more then just a Leader, but to show us the nature of love, and the nature of humility. Matthew 20:28“just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.” The sovereign King of the universe allowed Himself to be beaten, tortured, spat on, ridiculed, nailed to a cross, and give up His life for us sinners.

Micah 6:8“He has shown you, O man, what is good; And what does the Lord require of you But to do justly, To love [a]mercy, And to walk humbly with your God?” We must learn to be humble, to lower ourselves before the Lord. We must learn to put God first, and then ourselves second. We must learn to trust in the Lord’s plan, and walk where we must, do what we ought to do, and serve where we are led to serve.

Do not mistake my words, I am not saying in any way that if you’ve not be flogged, or beaten, or became wealthy, or live in protective walls that you are somehow not sacrificing for God. What I am saying is make sure whatever you do, you do to bring Glory to our Father. We may not have physical scars of what we sacrifice for the Lord, but there should be some signs of that sacrifice. Paul gave up everything for what he KNEW to be the truth, and gave up everything for it to include his life. If Paul is willing to give up so much, what are we willing to give up? Galatians 6:17“17 From now on let no one trouble me, for I bear in my body the marks of the Lord Jesus.” What scars are we willing to bear in the name of Christ?

For me a reminder of sacrifice is my Gideons Bible. Just looking at it, you can see how worn it is, and for me this is a symbol of my willingness to sacrifice for the Lord. Doing what’s right even in the face of danger and facing our own potential mortality in the process, to put ourselves in harms way to be there for a brother. This beat up old bible is truly one of my most prized possessions. It wasn’t read as much as it should have been, but there are marks in its pages finding scripture to encourage during time of war. The whole Bible shows signs of abuse and water damage. That Bible was with me on every single mission in my left breast pocket of my uniform right under my ballistic vest. It was with me when I jumped into the water to retrieve the body of a friend killed in action. It was with me the day I witnessed Hell on earth. Every hot summer day, or cold winter night, it was by my side. That Bible is a representation of my body which I gladly put on the line to do what I felt was right in the name of Jesus Christ. Making a difference in a part of the world that hated me just for the flag I wore, and who was willing to kill me on live television. I carry my own scars in the name of Christ, and I shall certainly earn more before I go home in glory.

You Wanna Know How I Got These Scars?

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You Wanna Know How I Got These Scars?

Have you ever looked in the mirror and noticed the scars you have? I have scars I see every day when I look in the mirror. My body is covered with scars from years of unfortunate accidents, injuries, and just a result of a rough life. I don’t just see the physical scars in the mirror but the emotional ones also. I was told recently that the traumas and trials I’ve faced are enough for maybe 3 peoples lifetimes. I had never really thought about it like that before. All I think about is how horrible it’s been sometimes, if I think about them at all. One of the things I was very good at was not dealing with my emotional pain. I tried to bury it and run away forgetting where I put it. Sadly, when it comes to grief and pain, you can’t outrun it. What you bury will come back to haunt you, and it’s usually pretty angry when it does. I recently wrote a blog post talking about running from grief. https://thearrowpreacher.wordpress.com/2018/05/29/man-on-the-run/ I won’t be rehashing an old topic. Instead in this post, I’ll be discussing how to use those scars to your advantage.

In 34 ish years I’ve seen a lot of things, and I’ve been to a lot of places. I’ve seen the world from the 3rdworldview, and I’ve seen the world from a luxury hotel downtown Chicago. No matter where I’ve gone one thing has been certain, the Holy Spirit has been right there with me the whole time. From the age of a little kid I have felt the Holy Spirit with me. I have moved through life feeling the Holy Spirit, yet running from an obvious calling within my life. Most of my life I have felt as if something were missing. I have felt a sense of lacking and never quite feeling useful. I have lacked purpose in my life. I thought my purpose was to be a good friend, a good husband, but although in my biased opinion, I am a good friend, and I am a good husband, or more accurately was a good husband, I now realize something new. For each scar I have a story. Each story is a chance to reach out to someone in need. Purpose will always be, where God is sending you. Today, I sit here thinking about each one of my scars mental and physical, and I have slowly started to realize what the purpose after all these years may have been.

When I think back to a man with scars I am reminded of the Apostle Paul. He suffered a great deal of physical torment throughout his ministry. Through the book of Acts you see Paul’s struggles. You see him get beaten, shipwrecked, stoned, hunted, imprisoned, and yet as he talks about how far he’s come. Galatians 6:17“17 From now on let no one cause me trouble, for I bear on my body the marks of Jesus.” I for one cannot imagine the pain he must have been in every day. In a time where most serious injuries would likely cripple or kill someone, he managed to keep going despite his injuries. It wasn’t as if they could go to the nearest CVS or Walmart and get Tylenol. Not being able to set broken bones, or take anti inflammatory, or even penicillin must have made healing very difficult. Here’s a man that literally took beatings and  torture for God, never once throwing up his hands and saying, ‘Nope, I made it all up, Jesus was a nobody.’ Even till Paul’s dying day, scars and all, he maintained his position that Jesus Christ was the Son of God, the truth the way the light. His scars were his testimony and what a testimony he had! I have spent a lifetime wondering why I’ve been through so much. I’ve often sat in the dark, yelling to God to answer my questions. After 34 years I may have finally gotten the answer I have been waiting for.

When you pick up your cross you will find persecution. In persecutions you will find both physical and emotional scars are part of the journey. Scars are sometimes badges of honor when we are a blessing to Jesus. Our scars are a reminder of where we’ve been, and a lesion learned no matter what caused the scar. Sometimes a scar is gained by playing with friends. Sometimes a scar is from someone doing unspeakable things to you. No matter where your scars are from, either good or bad, we can always take away some kind of lesson. I’ve seen many people after a trauma turn cold and bitter towards the people around them. I can’t say I’m innocent either. I have become angry when I’ve been hurt. I’ve seen people destroy lives, destroy families after suffering from loss. We will always have scars, but as a sword in the fire, we will either become brittle and break, or become strong and sharp. True courage is to face the pain, and face the troubled waters with honor and dignity and above all else, faith that God will use that pain for good, not for more suffering.

I have scars from surgeries, everything from knee, to hernia, to tonsillectomy, to cervical spine fusion, and more. I have emotional scars from death, from relationships, from war, and much more. When I look in the mirror I see a man who’s endured much, and yet I still stand. I face the world with hope, and with agape (love) in my heart for those around me. Even as I was going through a horrible divorce with my ex wife, and while there were things said and done that were beyond awful, I stood by her side and endured the pain and hardships. Now after all that time, we are talking, we spend time together, and we have a pretty amazing friendship. All the pain that was endured has allowed me to be there for her, now when she needs it. Living with Christ in your heart, loving deeply and not just what this world considers love anymore, is not an easy venture but God is watching and he will bless you for it. Pain is a hard thing to be stuck with, especially if you don’t know why, and you don’t know what to do with it. But I say to you, there is hope, and there is purpose. You will have to turn to God with love and prayer, and surrender in your heart. You will have to allow God to hold you up, and you will have to surrender over a piece of your self. Jesus Christ can heal your heart if you let Him. Jesus is always with you, and you just need to ask, and accept that without Christ we are nothing, but with Christ we are royalty to paradise. We are all soldiers, and with our scars of battle, we choose to surrender to the Devil, or fight for the throne in Heaven.

I was thinking back to an old post I wrote, and an old Sermon by Dr. David Chambers of my church. Why was our savior brought into this world as a baby? It was so that he would grow, and live among us, so we could relate to Him on a deep intimate level. His life had pain, and losses, and poverty, just like many of us. He survived the baby massacre, and then lost his Dad Joseph early in his life. He would grow to preach and teach God’s word, and when the time came he was tortured horribly, to just an inch of his life, and then he carried a heavy tree for a few miles, just to be placed on that tree and hung for all the world to see. Christ suffered horribly for each and every one of us, so we may one day live to live in eternal salvation. “Living is not for the weak.” (Arrow)It takes great courage to live with pain. It takes courage to find a path where you can use your pain for good rather then evil. How many stories have you seen or heard that started off with the villain saying ‘I was done wrong, so I’m going to make them pay.’ Or something along those lines anyway. Emotional pain is a strong motivator and it can cause good people to do awful things. Every one of us is capable of great things, or completely evil things. When we use our pain to heal from the truth written on those pages in scripture, then we are on the path to enlightenment.

Under the right situations your pain and suffering may be used to inspire and help others. I for one am starting to realize that all my life has been training. All the hardships I’ve faced and it being mostly traumatic incidences has given me the unique perspective to understand the nature of that kind of pain. I understand the pain of loosing a loved one to divorce. I’ve lost people in my life before, but my marriage this time was one of the hardest. The unfortunate event that occurred the day I found out my wife was leaving would forever be a day of great tragedy for me. That fateful day I succumbed to the pain and suffering that I spent so much effort running from. I’m ashamed of myself, and I still have a hard time believing it was me that day, but I have the scar to show for it. Today when I think back at my scars, I think now, how can I help others? How can I help prevent what happened to me, happen to anyone else? As I have been looking into my future since my security job imploded I have been led to believe ministry is my true calling. For years I looked at the ministry to be for someone much smarter, much braver, and much more people friendly. God uses the most unlikely of people sometimes to do His work. I have heard from many in ministry about running from their calling and how miserable their life was the whole time. Ministry is perhaps one of the hardest things to do, with some of the most stress in any job. Ministry comes with some of the most emotional drain out there, but people are genuinely happier, despite the level of stress that comes with.

I realized my traumas have been preparing me to help others get through theirs. Through most of my incidences I didn’t have a therapist, or a chaplain there to help me through. I was left to navigate the minefield, and as it became more and more dense with each passing trauma, I was bound to step on a landmine. When I finally stepped on one, and I ended up in the hospital, I was faced with a fundamental change in my life. It was the beginning of the end of a path I had been on for 7 years of a career, and 32 years of my life. Through it wasn’t easy for me to face facts, eventually, that closure would come from God as my job in security would end abruptly and with finality. I know many of you have endured great pain and suffering, and you can’t see any reason why you were made to suffer. First off let me say that there are a lot of reasons we are hurt. Sin is the most likely for most. Health is next in line. Then lastly personal choice to make bad decisions causes many of our struggles. No matter what flavor of pain you have, know that it is up to you to find a scriptural purpose for it. I have decided that my vast knowledge of all kinds of different pain and trauma makes Christian Crisis Counseling a perfect job for me. I can use my pain and suffering to inspire and guide others through their crucibles. I have chosen to embrace my pain instead of running from it. I have chosen to use my pain instead of burying it. If I can use my experience to help God’s people, it would be a sin not to.

I have run from God’s calling into ministry my whole life, and there’s always been something missing. I’ve always struggled with depression, and even though I’m not perfect and sometimes I still have my bad days, I am driven to continue my growth in the Lord. I pray to God to continue to show me my path, and to give me grace and mercy along the way. I fully expect the Devil to try and break me down during my journey, and any journey towards chaplaincy or pastoral ministry is going to fall under attack by the Devil. If we are going to follow in Christ we must live differently, so we can show others a different way to live. We must be productive in our faith, and not squander our experiences. I think of the things a father teaches a son. A father teaches their child how to treat others, how to be a responsible person, and how to love. They teach them how to do things around the house, how to hunt, and fish, and throw a baseball. But more importantly a Christian father will teach their kids, rather train their kids to be in Christ. I didn’t have a father growing up and I missed out on a lot of important lesions and experiences, but now I look to my Heavenly father for guidance and love, and approval. I have hidden behind my scars for so long, now I have to learn to embrace them and use them to help others. It won’t be an easy road, and I suspect there will be days when I will feel the weight of my decisions, but as Paul said to Timothy, I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. I too shall join that fight in ministry as I start my path to chaplaincy, and God willing maybe more.

There are days when my scars hurt, but I know God won’t ever leave me, He won’t ever forsake me, and I know now, my scars were not in vein. We must learn to see beyond our own pain, and trust that in all things we go through God is working it out so we may find peace, not sorrow. We live in a fallen world so pain and trials will come, but we don’t have to let it destroy us. I challenge each and every one of you to go out there and find your purpose in Gods plan. It’s likely your scars are for a purpose and that you can use them for good. Your scars can give you strength and understanding in areas perhaps others cannot. I challenge you to stop running from God and embrace your gifts and your life experiences. Pass on what you have learned, and remember failure is the greatest teacher you will ever have. Use your failures to help others see. Never give up on yourself because Christ wont’ ever give up on you.

 

 

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Would You Love Me If I Was Broken?

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Would You Love Me If I Was Broken?

A few days ago I was listening to a song by Matthew West called Broken Things. When I listened to this song I started to wonder why anyone would love me. I started to question my future relationships and question why anyone would want me with my baggage I carry. There’s a line in the song that stuck out to me,

“That it’s never the perfect; it’s always the ones with the scars that You use It’s the rebels and the prodigals; it’s the humble and the weak The misfit heroes You chose Tell me there’s hope for sinners like me”

 If my baggage is heavy then I need to learn to let it go. It’s not about the relationship with another person; it’s about the relationship with God. If you have pain, if you have scars, those are the people God uses the most. If God can use you because you let Him, then it’s only a small step to think you will be blessed for it. If you can use those scars and that bit of baggage to glorify the Father then someone out there will accept you baggage, scars, pain and all. The only truth that should remain is through God all things are possible. The God of peace and love loves us even when we are bent and broken. We can’t be expected to walk through the fire and not get burned. Walking in the life of Christ is burning away our old self and forging a new one. This process is painful and will leave scars, but the scars tell a story. That story is our testimony to how great God is.

You can meet 100 people and in those 100 people you may not find one person that sees you for you but only the pain you carry. We all have our burdens, but when the time is right God will give you someone to help you pick up that cross. God loves us no matter how bent or broken we are, and God will use you just as God uses horrible things for Good. The day of peace will come but not on this world. The world shall pass away and Heavens gates will open to those who followed. I think of dating and looking for that person to complete us like Thomas Edison’s comment on the first incandescent light bulb. “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

While some people will see your scars and might get scared off because of them, someone, the right someone, will look at your scars and see how you’ve endured despite them. If you’re like the Heath Ledgers Joker and your scars made you absolutely crazy, then perhaps that’s a different topic for a different blog, but if your scars have built you up to be stronger in your faith, given you hope for the future, and taught you valuable lesions to help others around you, those are honorable traits. Even the broken deserve someone to love. Even when the world around you feels like it’s falling down God’s with you always and that’s the love that truly matters. When the time is right God will bless you with someone who would be willing to put in a little work to glue that cup together and will accept Christ above all else. Don’t give up hope, someone out there will love you and accept you even if you are a little rough around the edges. 1 Peter 4:19“Therefore let those who suffer according to God’s will entrust their souls to a faithful Creator while doing good.” 

“We want to avoid suffering, death, sin, ashes. But we live in a world crushed and broken and torn, a world God Himself visited to redeem. We receive his poured-out life, and being allowed the high privilege of suffering with Him, may then pour ourselves out for others.” ~ Elisabeth Elliot 
“Your most profound and intimate experiences of worship will likely be in your darkest days – when your heart is broken, when you feel abandoned, when your out of options, when the pain is great – and you turn to God alone.” ~ Rick Warren

 You may feel broken, but God loves you just the same. God loves us the scars and all. Have faith and know that God will bless you, for He blesses those who remain faithful. Your days of fire may not be over, just know that even in the fire God’s with you being burned along side you. That’s Love, that’s what our love for one another should be.

 

 

The Wounded Warrior

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The Wounded Warrior

The scars inside so deep they hide,

The pain holds on, we keep marching on,

A nightmare, we cannot share,

No one knows, no one understands, the worlds out there so full of foes,

The endless noise found deep within, perhaps it’s time to pay for the sin,

Are we wrong, they keep playing my song,

 

The call goes out, the scouts give a shout,

The call to ride, to be by my side,

The belonging of family, I never saw it within me,

The all gather round, no dry eye to be found.

We love you they say, for this I could never repay,

They sacrificed much, what a loving touch.

 

The pain inside, I cannot hide,

The pain lets go, it must be so,

The nightmare remains, but it breaks the chains

They all know and they all understand, the ejection of ones cargo.

The loudest noise found deep within, praising songs with cheer and a grin

We were wrong, it’s time to change the song.

 

To all Veterans who suffer from pain and suffering mind body and soul, know that you are never alone. There are always people out there who want to help, who are willing to help. Reach out and never feel you have to fight alone. We may have taken a country, but it wasn’t alone. Our pain is shared pain, and never forget we are warriors together. We are all warriors in Christ so never forget to pray and pray for others.