Rest

Rest

Sometimes we get so overwhelmed with life, so bogged down, so beaten down, we are either forced to rest, or we must get ahead of the game, and rest before we’re forced too. Now is one of those times. Since the hernia surgery in October, life has been fast and furious. The hernia surgery came, then the day later the gas was so overwhelming in my chest and shoulder, to find out about the enlarged aorta, to scheduling heart surgery, to all the appointments prior, and in less than a month the heart surgery. Once the heart surgery was over, the pacemaker, a nine day stay in the hospital, and then more to come. The infection that came, then the rear flank pain, that led to another ED visit, to find the fluid around the heart. The fluid turned out to be blood, meaning my heart was bleeding into the thin sack around the heart, which led to another five days in the hospital. Home life wasn’t restful either. The fireplace in the tent was not ready when I got home from heart surgery, due to a part delay. But then in reality the house itself wasn’t ready for my arrival. To top it off the day I went home from heart surgery, the car broke down and cost almost three thousand dollars to fix. Then the chimney had issues on the fireplace that needed to be fixed. Of course after heart surgery most of that I cannot do myself. in total, of course, none of which is restful. The God of the universe teaches us an important lesson in Genesis, and on the seventh day, God rested. We must take time to rest, to reflect, to give reverence to an almighty God who created the universe and us in it. Each of us, is created by God for a purpose. We are special because God ordained our birth. While we are cursed through sin to work and till the earth, we must also remember that God gave us a time to rest. In the Old Testament we read the Jews had rest on the sabbath. Today, we recognize Sunday as our day of rest. Sometimes though, we need more. So, this very day, I find rest. Rest, that is so needed, my body exhausted, my mind and heart heavy, rest is the cure for what ales me. 

I know for some, rest is hard. Even now, I find myself awake in the middle of the night. What prompts this? Many things I suppose, but the biggest is my minds inability to shut down, and simply rest. I think back to everything I’ve gone through, and truly, there is only one bible chapter that comes to mind, Psalm 23 A Psalm of David.

The LORD is my shepherd,

I shall not want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures;

He leads me beside quiet waters.

He restores my soul;

He guides me in the paths of righteousness

For His name’s sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I fear no evil, for You are with me;

Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;

You have anointed my head with oil;

My cup overflows.

Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life,

And I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

— Psalm 23:1-6

Finding rest in a battle is a difficult thing. When I was in Iraq, sleep was never deep. When I was on mission, and on the longer ones when sleep was necessary, on the battle field, I would sleep with my rifle sling wrapped around my arms. The rifle held tight, and my Kevlar on, or nearby. The slightest sound would rouse me awake. My body was always in a state of vigilance and it’s what likely kept me alive. Home isn’t much different really. My vigilance is like a switch stuck in the on position. True rest comes seldom, but when it does, how sweet it is. We as a society don’t take rest seriously. One source shows 120,000 work related stress deaths per year, in the United States. It’s sad really, when you consider that, if we would just take better care of ourselves, many of our health issues wouldn’t be a problem. If we found a better home/work balance, we would see a drastic drop in illnesses. 

How do we rest, and relax? Decompression is such an important part of life, yet, at least here in America, it is not something taught in school. We’re taught nothing but work, and work hard. We are taught to test, and every question has only one right answer. We are taught that downtime is bad, and nearly every minute of the day must be filled with something. Even today, we teach kids, that to keep themselves occupied, they watch screens. If you were to ask someone, how long do you sit outside, just to watch the sunset, I would presume the number of people who do, would be low. We don’t sit in nature without a task. Even though some may find it relaxing and decompressive, watching TV is not a great stress release, and here’s why. While I do this myself, we are constantly stimulated by whatever it we watch. The mind, doesn’t rest when we watch TV, or movies. So, in reality, while it may feel like we are decompressing, we truly aren’t. For me, I enjoy building Lego sets, or hiking, photographing very small things in macro settings. I enjoy picnics, and time with friends. I find writing to be fairly relaxing and therapeutic. The key, is to do something relaxing, without having to much stimulus for the mind to be ramped up. Some people enjoy knitting, or crochet. Other’s may enjoy coloring, or drawing. Another thing I enjoy is listening to music, but not with words, unless it’s something like Enya, but instrumental, calming music. Music from James Horner, who composed Titanic, and Braveheart, Beethoven, and other similar artists. When I need to rest, this is what I listen to, or Lofi-Cat on YouTube. I am also a fan of bon-fire’s, or looking into a flame, such as a candle. 

Some people drink warm tea, and others have many different things they do. Some like bubble bath’s with candles. Some like to go for a run, or go to the gym. No matter what it is you do, that’s a healthy release of stress, we need to normalize taking time for ourselves. This is not a selfish thing to do, but rather one of physical necessity. Stress is a very real killer in our society, and we don’t do a good job, especially as men, in finding ways, healthy ways, to rest, and relax. If we do not relax, stress not only kills us, but shortens our natural life. We need to remove things from our life if we need to, but it’s important we find and make the time to rest and relax. We must take time to pray, and be in prayer to our almighty Heavenly Father. We must take time for ourselves, because if we don’t, the alternative could be disastrous. 

In the New Testament we often see Jesus taking naps. I imagine the effort and energy that flows through a human body, would make him tired. I don’t know what it felt like to be fully God, and fully man, but I can understand him wanting to take naps. After everything I’ve been through since Oct, I feel my body weighing me down. There is no time during the day something doesn’t hurt. My shoulder, my neck, my back, and most recently pain in my stomach right under my ribs. Resting is what’s needed. If we do not take time to take care of ourselves, no one will. Our bodies age, and as we get older, sometimes require a bit more thought and care. We must take time for ourselves. We must put down the world, lay the cell-phones down, and relax. We cannot expect our bodies to heal, and recover if we run them to the ground, yet we don’t take time apart. Don’t underestimate how important it is to rest. So, from me to you, rest. I hope, and pray you find peace and rest this 2025. Lets start off strong, and continue the fight. Rest when you can, and know peace in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. May His peace be with you. May His strength be with you. May His joy be your joy. Rest well my friends. Rest well. 

Rested

Rested

 After a year and some change of writing it became clear to me a vacation was needed. I only intended to post for a year and one day, but as fate would have it, when that time came I was compelled to write and post. God however is not without a certain sense of humor. 16 days after my last blog I was suppose to write I was selected to attend a project Odyssey, hosted by Wounded Warrior Project. What I had planned was to write and blog my experiences, but instead I found poor cell phone signal, and no Internet. Fate it seems was for me to take a vacation like it or not.

The week would be a week I will not likely forget anytime soon. I found something along the way, and lost something also. I would face many challenges along my journey, my own odyssey. As I would go from day to day I would face it and it forced me to search and dig deep inside myself. While the physical challenges wouldn’t come till Wednesday, the emotional gut check started nearly right away. The entire Odyssey I would face my emotional challenge of not withdrawing into myself. I have always felt that I never truly fit in, even around people I knew for years. Finding my place has always been a challenge for me. For me the trials it seems has been in my own head, and not founded in reality. I didn’t realize this until September 21st 2016. I was faced with this reality and it forced me to do some deep internal soul searching. As my journey to find and make new friends seemed to be failing, God again, is not without a sense of humor. In one week I would make 13 new brothers, and find my own place within the group. I would go from Mango to Preacher. I would make a transformation and I would realize that I have a place in this world. I would meet a man that I would have such a close connection to because of our personal connection. We have influenced one another’s lives despite not ever meeting. It’s clear to me that God has been working in my life to bring a thousand pieces together.

Sometimes in our life we need to take a step back, and refocus our place. For me, this week gave me the opportunity to learn from others going through similar and worse situations then myself. The ability to step back and learn what it means to be a child of the King is so important. We are all important to God and how we choose to act, and behave is important. I hope in the following weeks I’m able to take what I have found and what I’ve learned, and put it to use within my daily blogs and more importantly my daily walk in Christ. Going forward without the set standard to post daily, now I will post when I am ready to post. Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” I know finding rest in today’s world is hard. We are a go society, and the idea of actually taking time off to rest, for many is a foreign ideal. The thing is we can easily become wrapped up in life and forget to live.

For years I have struggled to find myself, and feel at peace with the battle waging within. I saw myself in the mirror and questioned much. Facing the pain of if I fit in or not, and questioning my own self worth, I came to find peace this week. It’s not easy to live in the positivity and forcing a change in personality to be a person of light instead of darkness. From the time we have a thought, to the feeling, to action, we have the ability to make a choice to how we allow something to affect us. We are faced with perspective all the time in life, but with practice we can get better with not letting as much bother us, or at the very least, how long we allow it to stay in our lives. Peace, is a blessing, and a gift when it comes. Psalm 4:8 “In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, LORD, make me dwell in safety.” Jesus Christ is the way, the truth, the life, and in our life, our faith will be what we have to grip to when the road gets bumpy. When you are lost, you must first rest to collect your thoughts. Take time to meditate on the word, slow your breathing, and re-center. When you are lost and weary rest your head on the lap of Abba. I went seeking friendship, but what I found was a friend within myself. I found a piece of myself that I thought was long forgotten. I am a warrior and I’m a warrior for Christ. I am worth more then I think I am, and in Jesus I am going to inherit paradise. I have been saved by the blood, and living in the living waters of the Holy Spirit gives me peace. Find your grace and peace. Find your breath, and follow the light. Take time every day to rest your mind in prayer and meditation. I think every day we need to take a short time and focus on our mental health. Give our brain time to rest. Don’t get lost in the world, get lost in the Word of God. I now have 13 Brothers to hold me accountable. I found more on my Odyssey then I ever imagined I could. I am worth while, I am a Warrior, and I am a child of the King.