Insomnia

Insomnia

I lay away at night, so much on my mind, the days, the weeks the months. Bitter sweet for the end, the signature and ink on the line, and that’s it, all that time just vanishes. Was I a failure? I ponder the days that draw near, the move, and even maybe someone. It’s 0100 and I’ve been up for an hour. I slept for an hour and awoke for no apparent reason.

It’s not often I can’t sleep at night. They say when you can’t sleep write down what’s on your mind and get it out. While for me it’s very clear what it is, I have to keep in mind that this is a season of change for me. While there’s plenty in my life that’s a mile beyond complicated I am trying to stay focused on the things I can change, and let go of the things I can’t.

The serenity prayer has been influential tonight, but sleep still eludes me. What do some of you do when you can’t sleep? Do you try the warm milk, count sheep, get out of bed and pace around? Do you turn on the TV, or read, or write in a journal? I’m generally curious.

Philippians 4:6-7 “Never worry about anything. But in every situation let God know what you need in prayers and requests while giving thanks.  Then God’s peace, which goes beyond anything we can imagine, will guard your thoughts and emotions through Christ Jesus.”

1 Peter 5:7 “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

Proverbs 3:24 “When thou liest down, thou shalt not be afraid: yea, thou shalt lie down, and thy sleep shall be sweet.”

Psalms 4:8I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, Lord, only makest me dwell in safety.”

 A prayer for sleep: My God my God, I lay awake and worry has my mind. I ask for clarity and peace of mind to allow me to sleep tonight. I am thankful for the many blessings I have. I’m thankful for the new path in front of me, and I’m thankful for the special person you’ve put into my life. Even though I may be restless tonight, I am grateful for all I have. As tomorrow is the closing of an era, I pray strength to continue to move forward. While I will have more bad days to come, I know that peace can be found in knowing you’re still in control. For those who are broken and can’t find the strength to get up off the floor, I pray your peace finds them and me. The days come and go, and I know that though my road is long, the dawn will come and everything will be all right. We are more the choices that we make; we are more then the sum of our past mistakes. Through Christ we are forgiven and even when we don’t deserve that forgiveness, that grace, we are loved beyond anything we can ever understand. Don’t let worry and doubt, and regret keep you up at night. Breathe and let go. Now go get some sleep!

Rediscover

Rediscover

The song plays in the distance, Moon River by Melissa Benoist. I have a dream to cross over the rainbow to find my Oz. A journey of discovery to find who I’m meant to be, I walk a path that seems black and white and without color we aren’t truly alive. Over the rainbow lies a land of magic, of color, of wonders beyond our wildest imagination. How do I get there I wonder, how do I take the step, then the leap to see if I can fly? I find myself scared to do what is necessary. I struggle to think about what if I’m making a huge mistake? The butterfly’s in my stomach doing summersaults, and as I watch a part of my life close, I wonder how did all this happens, I’m left with no answers. Life was good, moving forward, and I liked where I was. It’s so difficult closing a book when it’s over. A book that caught you, that grabbed every bit of your essence, and knowing that it’s done, it’s hard to grasp the finality of what’s come to pass. It’s clear now, that where I’m meant to is not where I thought I’d be. My life changed in an instant and in a year I found myself fighting a duality. I feel as if I’ve been split into two people and I barely recognize either of them. The man I see in the mirror I don’t recognize. The family that never would be, the career that ended before it flew, the awards that now gather dust in a box, all for nothing.

I know I never followed the typical path, but now I question why. What is it about me that so much bad have happened in a single lifetime? I look down at the cross I wear on my finger. The words of the armor are the reminder to remain strong and to fight the urge to crumble. I take a deep breath and close my eyes, and the urge to cry comes. I don’t know what’s waitin’ round the bend for me, and I don’t know if I have a friend waiting for me. I feel like I’m falling apart. My resolve seems to be shaken, and now I question everything. Of course when the going gets tough the answers are found in only two places. 1. Scripture, 2. Godly counsel.

Deuteronomy 31:6 “Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”

 My Lord, you must think I’m strong because I feel like the weight of the world is crushing me. Where is the light at the end of these hard times? Where’s the grace when the world isn’t fair? Where’s the faith I need to stand strong in the raging storm?

Rediscover 3Looking back at the person I once was I liked who I was back then. I look back and see the strength to take on the world, to overcome anything that came, and I was. I was a happier person, I was full of joy, and life. Today I feel so removed from then. I feel like the scars have built up and now I don’t see who I was any longer. I survived a war and through that I felt more me then I do now. The suffering from combat left me looking at the person in the mirror and I saw someone new. Now I look into the mirror and I see so little of my old self-looking back. It looks like me, but broken, fogged over through the steam that covers the glass. I wipe away the dew on the glass and I see the mask looking back at me.

God, I am broken today. I feel lost and I feel broken. My God I ask for healing today, and could healing happen today? My Lord on high you’ve watched me fall, you’ve seen me cry, you’ve seen me bleed, so I ask you on this day, to stand here with me broken together. Help pick me up and guide me along the right path. I don’t know which way’s up, or which ways down, I’m lost at sea with no stars to guide me. My fairy tale has broken down and like Humpdy Dumpdy I thought maybe I couldn’t be put back together again. Today I fall to my knees and I pray and pray, and I know that there’s only one hope for me, God’s love and God’s healing grace. I know that in this trial I’ve been tested. As many have before I me, I lean upon the words of prophesy.

Revelation 2:10 “Do not fear what you are about to suffer. Behold, the devil is about to throw some of you into prison, that you may be tested, and for ten days you will have tribulation. Be faithful unto death, and I will give you the crown of life.” God you’ve never left my side even in the storm, even as I faced death, you carried me back on wings of grace. You saved me for a purpose and even when I don’t know what that is, you do. You have given me a second chance to praise you in the storm, and no matter the waves that pound against me I won’t back down, I won’t stop fighting. My God my God, you have seen me through the war, you have seen me loose it all, you’ve seen me stumble, you’ve seen me fall, but today as I cry and feel like I can’t go on, I feel the strength come from above. As I sit and write I cry and the moment I start my dog lays her head in my lap. You use her to remind me you’re still there.

I am reminded that I need you Lord because the worlds to big. I stop and I listen, I quite my mind, and I reach down deep to hear your voice again. It’s with me always but sometimes I forget. Lord you cover me with the grace of your Angels, you protect me from harm, and you lift my soul. You rescue me from the Devil’s snare and one day you will call me home. While today is not that day, and nor was it yesterday or the times before, you have watched over me.

While I sit and seek tomorrow I pray the rainbow is bright. I see my wonderland and through the keyhole I ask if I seek, someday will I find, someone to watch over me. The future is a question we can’t be afraid of. We must grab life by the horns and must learn to leap so we may fly. While I’m not sure where I’m going, or what I’m doing, I know that I must take the leap of faith, and I know this journey will be one for me to rediscover who I am. Often when a chapter ends, or even the book the next phase is to relearn, rediscover who you are, or who you’re meant to be.

Rediscover 2

I Can Go The Distance

I have often dreamed of a far off place
Where a hero’s welcome would be waiting for me
Where the crowds would cheer, when they see my face
And a voice keeps saying this is where I’m meant to be

I’ll be there someday, I can go the distance
I will find my way if I can be strong
I know every mile would be worth my while
When I go the distance, I’ll be right where I belong

As I keep going in this life, I know I will one day find that welcome. I remain on the path, and one day I will finish the song.

I will search the world, I will face its harms
‘Till I find my hero’s welcome waiting in your arms

 

 

 

 

Falling For You

Falling For You

Giving us a choice, we walk our path alone, but for how long? The blood spilt on hallowed ground, the choices we make from then on out is our cross. Can’t say what tomorrow will bring, can’t say what’s in our future, but as we grow, I want you in it, my Lord my God, show me the way.

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You entered my life and I wasn’t prepared for it. You wore down my defenses, and without a word you got in beyond the shield, beyond the moat, beyond the walls. I don’t know how I feel, but what I feel I feel for you. You’ve changed my life in a day, a gift from above. My God was looking out for me, I was given a gift a beautiful flower plucked from the darkness and brought into the light. You’ve given me no other choice but to love. I don’t know my future but I know my past. All I know is I don’t want to live in the dark anymore. The light in my heart shines brighter. You’ve altered my life, and you’ve made me better. You smile at me, and you’ve created much glee.

When things were so dark and gloomy you put a little love in my heart. I don’t know tomorrow, or the part you play, but you’ve changed in me a big,  big way. As the light may shine bright, and even if you leave, you leave me in a better place. God brought you into my life just like Jesus said. We just need to wait and see but the love that floats around cannot be taken for granted. Making the world a better place one day at a time.

Even if you leave tomorrow I will forever hold you tight. We never know how long we have, or what we need to do. Loving this day is all we are asked to do. Knowing what’s in the air and following the rose petals that life lies down, we can only do one thing, appreciate the day we have.

Jesus gave us life, gave us hope, and we cannot walk away from the truth. In the darkness we find light and the darkness runs in fear. The case is you’re my super friend. Jesus the first superhero, He defeated death itself, and gave us the love we needed but never deserved. So from that cue, we have what we need, right when we need it. I am meant to be wherever you are next to me my Lord. All my life I promise to keep running towards you my grace. I pray you grant me a love that will last, a love that stands apart. I pray for the woman to be my partner and my best friend. When you give me her, I promise to always run home to her, to cherish her and love her as you so loved us. I may not be worthy of such love, but I know one day when you see fit, you’ll give me that gift. To love and to hold, as you loved us. 2 Corinthians 9:7-9 “Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency[e] in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work. As it is written,”

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The day grows dark, the hate rises from the depths of Hell, and all we can do is put love in our heart. It’s time to let go of the yesterday, be free from the pain that shackled you down, grow, and take a look around at the love that surrounds you. Make the world a better place and start with you. Be the light in your friends life, be the grace that people see, and know that Christ is working through you. Don’t let the perpetuation of hate continue in your life. Don’t let fear and doubt stain your sword. What more is there in this life that stands above love? Be the joy because Jesus lives in your heart and teaches you love.

While I search my heart for the right words, I’m left on the precipice looking over the wonders of the world. When I can think of nothing better then your presence, your smile, I know that you are more, you’re special in some way. No matter the time that passes I know you’ve forever changed me. Just as Christ has taken residence in my heart, you hold a place now too. Today, tomorrow, and always a difference forever made.

A little love

A little love

Wake up in the morning and all you see is death and destruction on the TV. How do we stand the sights we see, and how do we keep living our live the same way? Someone asked me and said why would God allow such tragedies. Someone else told me Sin had nothing to do with this tragedy in Vegas, and that the Bible was a fictional piece of work written by man during a time period to control the masses. While I can argue a whole blog on the validity of the Bible and also Christ, this post will be about doing something. It’s time to stand up and fight back.

Tomorrow can feel to strong, it can feel crushing, and in those times you should fall back and take a breath, pray to Jesus and don’t worry about tomorrow, God’s already there. The Bible shows us the way, and just because we know the way doesn’t mean that path is an easy one to walk.

Waking up in the morning to heartbreak and death even if not related to us, can still affect us. During 9/11 I struggled holding back tears of sadness and anger. A few days ago when I saw the news about Vegas I was sick to my stomach. I had to remind myself that God’s still in control and no matter what happens, I have to understand the puzzle is bigger then me. I may never see or understand the hurt in this world. The only thing I can do is worship to my God that’s still on the throne. When the days are long and the road is still far, worship His holy name. His heart is kind and no matter the horrible things that happen God sees all, He feels all things and even in our suffering God is with us. 2 Corinthians 7:6-7 “But God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the coming of Titus, and not only by his coming but also by the comfort with which he was comforted by you, as he told us of your longing, your mourning, your zeal for me, so that I rejoiced still more.” Knowing that the Christ, the Savior of our sins came and bled and died for us. This should provide comfort knowing that tomorrow will come.

In our time of grief let go of the hate, let go of the fear, let go of the war mongering. Playing political cards for political gain isn’t appropriate. At some point a conversation will be had, but in the mean time, it’s time to heal. Ask God for guidance and allow room in your broken heart. When your heart is in pieces, and the darkness feels like it’s filling up your mind, when you need a helping hand, put a little love in your heart.

“If you want the world to know

We won’t let hatred grow

Put a little love in your heart

And the world will be a better place

And the world will be a better place

For you (for you)

And me (and me)”

“Think of your fellow man,

Lend him a helping hand!”

The world can be such a better place for you and me if we just love the love scripture speaks of. Love concurs all, and we just need to push past the hate, push past the lies the deceit and when we can do that we might be able to overcome some of the worlds problems. Put a little love in your heart.

22279259_10159298296620304_4133294_oNo matter if you’re feelin blue, always be true to you, gotta find some joy and happiness. When you’re feelin low take it nice and slow. When the days are hard, always take a start, and feel the love. Put it all away when your feelin gray, and put a little love in your heart.

 

 

5.56

5.56

 5.56 is the size of the bullet used in both the AR-15 semi automatic rifle and the M-16, M4, military service rifle. A rifle that is semi automatic with single shot capability is not an assault weapon, it’s merely a rifle. The Assault weapon is defined by more then a single bullet per squeeze of the trigger. Full Auto weapons are not easily purchased and it takes a special federal stamp to do so. Though not incredibly difficult to do, it is impossible without the machinery and know how, the alteration when done with this particular weapon can shoot full auto, it can also hold up to a 100 round drum. The 5.56 is currently known to be the most popular rifle in America and leading rifle in home defense, though not considered to be a very good hunting rile. Sadly this is also the number 1 rifle used in mass shootings, just like the mass shooting that occurred in Las Vegas recently.

At approximately 2208 on October 1st of 2017 shots rang out at a concert in Vegas. 5.56mm rifles were used, .308 rifles were used, and possibly others that have not been released yet. It’s easy to want to respond with hateful rhetoric. It’s easy to attack a certain group of our society, gun owners, or even a political side. It’s easy to allow hate an anger to run wild during times of tragedy. We must remember to love, and to spread that love. Placing blame and getting angry doesn’t help anyone during these hard times.

Ephesians 4:17-19 “Now this I say and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds. 18 They are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to their hardness of heart. 19 They have become callous and have given themselves up to sensuality, greedy to practice every kind of impurity.” We are all sinners, and those who have rebuked or denied Christ are more in the dark then the rest of us. While this is hard to understand sometimes that darkness will lead people down a path of hate and destruction. In every tragedy there is also opportunity, opportunity to show love, to shower the grieving with the word of God and show the grieving that there is light at the end of their pain.

Politicians will often use these tragedies to attempt to expand on their own personal agendas. While law enforcement is trying to put the pieces together, politicians are licking their chops and the plotting and planning begins. We must not allow the tragedies of this world to be exploited for personal gains or interest. We must instead fall onto scripture to help guide us in our grief. Psalm 34:18 “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”

We won’t always understand how someone can be so evil in life, and do so much harm to others. We don’t always understand why innocent people can be caught up in such evil on earth. No matter what we may feel or the questions we may have, know that God is always on the throne. Bad things happen because of sin. God’s heart breaks in such tragedy. We don’t know what God has planned, but we must have faith that God’s plan even if it seems horrible to us, is still perfect. Our hearts may break, our tears will flow, and our dreams be crushed, but God’s perfect plan will happen with our without our consent.

I myself once owned at 5.56mm rifle and I considered it one of my prized possessions. I believe fully in a persons right to choose a weapon to protect their own home, to shoot for fun, to hunt with. While this is a tragedy, and the pieces will be placed together to see the full picture, the debate will once again be raised on gun rights vs. gun control. The point I will leave is, people are evil, cruel, and sinful, and when a person wants to do others harm there will always be a way. No matter the means, no matter if it’s guns, explosives, knives, using motor vehicles, people will harm others to achieve their sick demented ends. The only way to snuff out darkness is by spreading the light. Jesus Christ is the only light we can ever depend on.

 

 

 

 

Jumping into the unknown

Jumping into the unknown

 In a matter of weeks I will embark on an adventure all on my own. In the last year of my life I’ve suffered loss, and some joy along the way. While in every adventure there can be no growth without setbacks. While the journey is far from over it seems glimmers of light can now be seen at the end of a yearlong journey. The light I see at the end of the tunnel isn’t the headlamp of a fast approaching train. It’s finally come and while I know there will be future setbacks I’m prepared to face them head on.

In the last few weeks I’ve faced major opposition from the Veterans Administration and have had to point out gross negligence on their part. This battle has come at the cusp of my life finally being set on a particular track in a particular direction. This set back has minimized my ability to get my train up to full speed. Sadly while this causes undo stress, and might I point out needless stress, I will continue to try and face it with respect and dignity.

We may only get an opportunity once in a lifetime to leap. I’m not saying leap without looking, of course not, but sometime you need to take a leap of faith, and that leap may not always be with sight we understand. Sometimes we just don’t know what’s just around the bed, or just over the side of the next cliff. How can the eagles soar above the clouds if it doesn’t first take the leap? When we love we must first fall, a leap to let a part of ourselves go to allow for someone else to come in. When we love Jesus we must allow a part of our self to be burned away to make room for the light of the world. Loving another person is taking a chance. Rejection in life is always a possibility. Rejection from those whom we love is possibly the most hurtful thing we can ever endure. The fear of that rejection however, the fear of failure, cannot be the reason we don’t try. What if we allow ourselves to be ruled by our fear? What happens to our life, our happiness when we don’t allow ourselves to feel happy?

Genesis 2:18 “And the LORD God said, [It is] not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” We aren’t meant to be in this world alone. We aren’t meant to take the journey solo. We are made to be creatures that desire and need others. While some people are loners and some may desire their solitude that’s not the general idea for the human race. We often hide away after we are hurt, but we cannot live in the cave we’ve built forever. Even when we are broken hearted we must allow the Lord to rebuild us, to help us heal. Psalms 34:18 “The LORD [is] nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.” When the right person comes along falling in love will be effortless, it will be like slipping into a warm bath. It will be like being wrapped in joy itself. The euphoria that comes with the act of falling in love is spectacular.

Sometimes we are forced to move, forced to change and we must be ready to embrace that change. Sometimes we must take a leap of faith and the trust comes later. I was watching the “Man of Steel” and while Clark was debating on his decision, he talked with a priest. During that conversation Clark stated he wasn’t sure if he could trust mankind. The priest replied that sometimes you have to take a leap of faith and trust later. Sometimes we must take the deep breath and dive into the deep water. We may not find our gold right away but if we continue to seek, one day we shall find.

As I have no clue what my future has in store for me, I can only hope and pray my future is brighter then the past. While I have seen glimmers of hope, and perhaps even love in my future, I proceed cautiously. I’ve seen and felt hope before only to be destroyed by it. This time around I am more cautious then I was before. This time also, I’m in a much better position. My faith is strong and when I needed proof the answers were given to me. We only need to have faith, and we too can see the truth. While we may not always get what we want, we will be given what we need. We must learn to understand the wants and the needs, and to also understand the repercussions of decisions. Many of our hardships will be a result of our own choices and thus we must remember we always reap what we sew.

Tomorrow’s answers will come when tomorrow does. Worry not about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry for itself. If we spend all our time worrying about our possible failures, or our possible rejections, if we never take that chance, or the leap we will truly never fly. You can’t live life with training wheels on your bicycle so take them off, put on your big boy pants or your big girl panties, and be ready for the world as it comes. Just remember though, a leap of faith doesn’t mean jumping without a parachute. Try to have at least some slight idea so you don’t fall to your own doom. Take the idea, and have faith that God will help guide you to work out the details. Trust in the Lord with thine whole heart and lean not unto your own understanding, but have faith in the truth and the light, and your way, your path shall be lit for you.

The Want, The Need, The Fall

The Want, The Need, The Fall

When you are living life there are things we absolutely need, then there’s things we want. What’s the difference between the two, and why is it dangerous to pursue our wants? When we are moving along there’s things we need, food, shelter, water, and protection. We need to make money to pay the bills and make a living for ourselves. Everything else is a want in life, I want a new phone, a new computer, a new TV, whatever new gizmo, or gadget fancies our attention, the truth is we often place wants more then our needs.

I was reading the news the other day and this mother went to Europe for several days while leaving her children at home alone to fend for themselves. She left 2 12 year olds, a 6 year old and a 7 year old, while she traveled through the EU. Report said she was there sometime prior to the 21’st and not scheduled to return till Oct 1st. Now, what kind of mother does this? This is someone who has no regard for need, instead only considers the want.

What happens when a wife gets bored with her life? When she is no longer satisfied with her life and for some reason she’s compelled to seek out something more, something erotic, she’s willing to put aside every ounce of what’s right, and every shred of decency to throw it out of the window and leave it behind. Peoples wants can be healthy, or they can be destructive. The key is where the heart is and the motives behind the want. I want to make the world a better place for people so I write this blog. I want to reach as many people as I can with the word of the Lord, but as much as I’m compelled to do it, it’s not a need, even if some days it feels like I need to spread the Gospel.

When the selfishness of someone takes over and blinds us from what we should be doing we can see how the want in our life can affect the fall into pure sin. When sinful desires take over we will always be found going down the wrong path, one of destruction. Philippians 4:11-13 “Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.”

 The heart that cannot feel content will always want. When marriage isn’t enough and more is wanted, it’ll never be enough. The new car will never be new long but will only satisfy but a moment. The newest best and brightest is only a fleeting moment but when the neighbor gets the new, newest thing the envy and greed takes over the mind and soul.

How quickly do we forget Proverbs 14:30 “A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.” We will never be at peace when all we want is more. The truth to happiness is to be content. We will always have dreams and hopes, and there are always things that would be nice to have, but when that is what consumes our drive we will surly fall. Be at peace with life, learn to love it for what it is. When you are faithful to Love and faithful to God you will be blessed beyond your dreams. Sometimes it just takes patience. It takes great skill to be still in the storm.

 

 

The Tower

The Tower

We feel powerful looking down over the world. Being high up in our tower we feel safe, disconnected from the world below. How fake we are. An illusion of safety and reassurance to let us sleep soundly at night. A king sitting on the very thrown we created, ignoring the struggles and the suffering of the peasants left upon the earth far away from you in your ivory tower. The corruption of selfishness, the fall of man is when the heart fails to self and no longer others. Galatians 6:8 “For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.”

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 Romans 12:2 “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” We often allow ourselves to be the masters of our own universe and when we do that we loose sight of those around us. We forget how to be empathetic to those less fortunate then ourselves.

When we forget those around us we can often leave lives in ruins. Being selfish, and vain, we can destroy everything we held onto that was once important to us. When I think about how the tower of success can change someone, I think of the fall of King David. When David was on that roof watching Bashiba bathing, so many events started to fall like dominoes and instead of doing the right thing, he plotted and schemed, he cared little for the outcome, and it eventually turned from bad to grotesque. When you sleep with someone’s wife, get them pregnant, plot to cover it up, then plot to have them murdered, and so on, you see what living with power can do over time. If the axiom is true and “Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely” then those who reign high in their corporate ladders, or in positions of power within the government, it’s easy to see how and why they forget what it was like to be the little guy at the bottom.

The sad thing is it doesn’t have to be someone in a tower to forget what’s important. When marriages fall from affairs, when family breaks over the contents of a Last will and testament, or when best friends crumble out of existence, the power we hold can have lasting and damaging consequences. How quickly we forget how powerful that little thing called a tongue can be. The fact is the self can destroy everything, it can bring upon horrible actions and with very little effort ruin lives.

Be careful for the power you wield no matter if you’re the CEO, or just someone friend, very little said or done can be devastating. Remember to remain true to kindness and love. Put a little love in your heart, and if you do make it to the top of that tower and when you’re looking down at how small everyone else seems, don’t forget the perspective. Just because we may look small at the bottom, doesn’t mean we are, and it doesn’t mean we don’t matter.

 

 

Evil Shinnanigans

Evil Shinnanigans

The days come without fail, still no closer to the apocalypse but despite the spinning of our world, the life we live continues on. It’s been no secret the Devils been working overtime this last year to break me, to drag me down to the ground, and it seems more likely he’s trying to put me 6 feet under. While I’m sure He would love nothing more then to take me off the board permanently, I’m afraid to say the rumor of my demise was greatly exaggerated. While this year has been a challenge, I’d say very little difference in my year and the life of Job.

 

It seems that the Devil is up to his old tricks yet again, knocking at my door trying to trick me into opening it, blindly, but that’s not how I do things. You see, in the fight against good and evil the fight doesn’t end till the day we draw our last breath. The day may come when we loose our strength, when we loose our faith in mankind, but today is the day we continue to stand and fight, uphold our beliefs in the Light of the Lord, and continue to walk in the darkness of this world, with our flashlight in hand. Believing in Christ and allowing the light of the world to shine through us. Having Christ working through us is like having a military grade Tac-Light verses that cheap mini mag-light they sell at Walmart.

 

The Devil is like a B-Villian in a superhero show. One who’s just really a useless entity, one that tries and tries to win the battle, but knows deep down, He’ll never win. We may get caught in the wake of the war but only as collateral damage. When we have our foundation set in the Lord, built upon the Rock of Christ.

 

Continue to have faith, and never give up hope. The war is long, but it takes time to build courage, it takes time to learn, to strategize. No matter the pain we feel in the moment of our blows, the losses we will have, the hurt of our broken hearts even when the world itself crumbles to dust, we can always rebuild, we can always overcome. The Devil and His Evil Shinnanigans cannot keep a good Christian down. We are never alone in our fight. We must just look at our neighbors in joint faith and love. Stronger together.

Knowing Your Weaknesses

Knowing Your Weaknesses

While I was watching one of my shows recently I confronted a question within myself. What’s something I’m afraid of, what’s something I would consider a weakness within myself? As I watched the show The Flash I found it interesting how his worst enemy is cold, it’s ice because of how it slows down the molecules within his body. The Flash has to be careful with the numerous enemies, villains that he encounters that use cold/freezing powers. You see, knowing your weakness can help save you from whatever may come.

Ephesians 6:12 “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high [places].” The Devil will search your very soul to find your chink in the armor. Some people can go for a long time without knowing their true weaknesses. The problem is, without knowing your own faults, your own short comings, the Devils ability to find that weakness and exploit it becomes much simpler. You have to be able to mount defenses where flaws might lay.

In any defense of a castle, strategic placements of archers, of cavalry, of spearmen, and of course the knights that defend the gate, all these areas are defended because there can be potential breaches. During the battle of Helms deep for instance, the caldron at the base of the wall, although small, left a weak point in the wall, which using explosive could exploit the fault, and once detonated blew a hole large enough for the advancing army to enter without much effort. This however was not planned for and thus little defense was available to defend an all out ground invasion. While the battle was won the damage done was near catastrophic.

2 Corinthians 12:10 “Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.” Knowing that we are not perfect at that we have shortcomings we are able to anticipate the attacks and plan for them, prepare for them. Then, and only then will you be able to do what is needed to defend yourself.

The Devils attacks will come at any time at any day, and we must be ready to fight. While the enemy we face is that of the spiritual and not of the flesh (at least not most of the time). I know that my weakness is a fear of being abandoned. I fear my loved ones leaving me never to return. In the last year that fear was brought to life and when I was down on the ground and I thought I’d never be able to get up again, Christ lifted me and gave me time to heal from my wounds. When you get knocked down it’s easy to forget what the true importance of our life. Jesus Christ is the light and the only way. Find strength in the word, find hope in the light, because no matter what even the smallest amount of light makes the darkness scurry away. Only in Christ are we strong enough to fight the battles we wage every day. Doing it on our own we are surly destined to fail. Don’t get lost in an infinite loop