Tag: Recovery

Bullies

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Bullies

Sometimes in life you will encounter a person in power and they will be more or less a bully. I’ve been in situations where I’ve had bosses or supervisors that no matter what I’ve done or tried to do, nothing was ever good enough. I think we’ve all encountered people in our professional lives that just made the work experience near unbearable. A friend recently told me, “you don’t quit jobs, you quit managers.” I had never thought of leaving a job like that before. When I put a little thought into it, I realize that most of the time when I have not liked a job, it turned out to be the boss that made it the worst.

The Devil is a bully. He will push you, lie to you, and attempt to break you. The Devil hates you for all that you are. Isn’t it wonderful though that we have a God that loves us for who we are? We never have to work for that love. We’re not judged with how much we work, or how many brownie points we can get. God is fully aware of what’s in our heart and our motives. It’s the love that matters.

When you encounter a bully in your life there are millions of ways people will tell you to handle them. In my own life I have heard the, ‘just ignore them.’ Advice. I have heard the, ‘make fun of yourself right along with the bully,’. I have heard ‘stand up for yourself, by any means necessary.’ While each one of these is very popular, I would suggest turning to the bible to find your true good advice Matthew 5:43-48“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’44 But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. 46 For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47 And if you greet only your brothers,[a] what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? 48 You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” We cannot allow ourselves to loose sight of God. We must not allow ourselves to succumb to the darkness. Anger, and hate lead to the dark side. We must stand firm. We must never loose control in anger. 2 Timothy 1:7“7 for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”

It’s easy to get wrapped up in our anger and that anger can blind us to the path that’s best for us. That anger and rage that can bubble up from years of torment, or physiological torture, can be hard to control. We must never set out to find our own vengeance though. Violence always begets violence. We cannot expect to change the world by physical means. Romans 12:19-20 “19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it[a] to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” 20 To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” If your bully attacks you, ask if you can pray for them. If they attack you, ask if everything’s okay at home. Bullies often have misguided anger or rage. Do not hate the bully nor pass judgment upon them. We never know someone’s circumstances, and while it never excuses their actions, it may provide some incite. Generally, hurting people hurt others. We cannot allow ourselves to let our tormentors to breach our heart with hate. We must not allow hate to take route in our souls. 1 John 2:9 “Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness.”

We must stand firm on love. Let love be our war cry and in everything we do, and everything we experience trust in the Lord to save you, and pull you through. Psalm 18:3 I ” call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies.” We have to trust in the Lord to deliver us from evil. There will always be bullies for as long as there is anger and hate in this world. Bullies feel the need to be in power. Bullies feel the need to be in control and those in control often feel they have to force their subordinates into submission. Matthew 5:38-41“I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies.” The bullies we have will beat you and hurt you emotionally. They will continue to try to break you down and look forward to seeing you breaking.

We have all encountered these people in our lives. Many have experienced bullying in school, and some in the adult world. Those difficult people are everywhere and in our struggle we must pray to be delivered from the hands of the enemy. Psalm 82:4 “Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked.” No matter the trials that befall you, you get back up and never let your own worth reside by the hands of your enemies. We must remain strong, and trust that we are worth more then what others can make us feel. Proverbs 24:16“for the righteous falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked stumble in times of calamity.” We must always get back up. We know that for every fall we rise in strength, and we can be stronger then before if we learn a lesion with each fall. Finally I will say do not attack your attacker. We must learn and I must reiterate the importance to not attack your attacker. I am not saying do not defend yourself in the event there is a physical altercation, but what I am saying is never attack out of anger. If you are being physically assaulted you should leave that situation and find help, or defend yourself and at the first chance remove yourself from your situation and again go find help. Stand firm in your faith and with love and compassion live your life. 1 Peter 3:8-9“8 Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. 9 Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.”

Which way do I go George?

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Which way do I go George?

Have you ever been in a situation where you didn’t know which way to go? When you’ve come to a point in your life when you decide to follow your own path rather then the Lords you are on a road to destruction. In Galatians 4:21-31 scripture talks about the promise verses the law. Are we following our path, or God’s promise? So many years ago Abraham decided God’s timing wasn’t good enough and took his hand madden and had a child out of wedlock. In Abraham’s impatience he didn’t follow God’s plan, and the repercussions from that has been over 2000 years of war. The descendent of that unholy union came Muhammad and thus the war between Muslims and Christians began. We can take a valuable lesion from this and realize since we only see a small sliver of the river, we need to take a step back from ourselves, and understand that God has a proverbial birds eye view of what’s to come, and he is not going to lead us astray.

 

Not to long ago I was in South Carolina and one of the exorcises we were doing was a trust exorcise in which someone was blind folded at a rock wall, and the person behind them was to guide them up the wall telling them where to put their hands and feet. For many reasons this was a very difficult event to accomplish. The fate of the exorcise was in someone else’s hands and that was one thing to let go of that control. The other was how well the person on the ground described the next step and how quickly they gave you the instructions. I don’t think I have to tell you if the person on the ground wasn’t quick enough, or not experienced in climbing, the task was near impossible.

 

When we are at a cross roads in our life, are we listening to God or are we going to do it our own way? I have been single now for some time after my wife left, and I have found that the physical intimacy in a relationship is something I miss. I miss the cuddles on the couch watching a movie. I miss the conversations in bed before falling asleep. I miss the gentle kisses before a good night sleep. While I miss these things a great deal, I have decided to not rush into anything with anyone. While some of the physical intimacy could be found, and probably more, I have decided to listen to the voice in my head that is God telling me to wait. The sins of the flesh have a strong pull, but choosing God will undoubtedly be the better path to travel. We can wonder which way to go, but when we pray about it, and when we take our time, be patient, and trust in the Lord the way will be made clear. We must understand that not every answer or every path will come as quickly or decisively as we’d like. We may not get a giant neon sign flashing which way to go, but if we are in scripture, and we are studying, and we are making decisions based on biblical teaching, the decisions we make should be easier.

 

Having faith in the midst of trouble can be difficult, but no matter what the case may be, we must have faith, have trust, have patience, and be deliberate in our walk with Christ. Trials will come in our life, but every trial is an opportunity to show those around you what walking with Jesus looks like. We are representatives of God’s love and grace, and that comes with a measure of responsibility. Our God is gracious, loving, giving, faithful, trustworthy, and great beyond any measure of human comprehension. Which way do you go? That’s easy, go towards Jesus and never stop. In every decision be intentional and don’t loose sight of our Heavenly Father. He will never leave nor forsake you, so never give up hope. Our way will never end well, but God’s way is always the best way to go. God’s way may not be the easiest way, but it’s the right way. Doing what’s right isn’t always the easiest, but it’s better to make the hard choice to do the right thing, then to forsake your morals and do the easy wrong.

Hands Off, Verses Hands On

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Hands Off, Verses Hands On

Dealing with change can be difficult. My new job is very different from what I’m used too and is very hands off. I’ve gone from wearing a duty belt for nearly 7 years to nothing on the belt, no clips, no flashlight, nothing. Even medical response is no longer a job for security. While I’m struggling to get used to the new status quo and forget everything I’ve learned over the years I’ve been in security, I am not opposed to learning a new job.

We often wonder if God is a hands on or hands off God. Does he meddle in everything, even the little stuff? Is he more of an observer that watches the stupidity of man? While we do believe miracles come from above, and all good things are gifts from the heavens, we don’t truly know the extent of God’s involvement. Free will plays a big role in our paths, decisions choices, ideals and goals. We decide what kind of person we will be. Do we want to be hands on or hands off Christian?

Growing up, I found myself wishing someone would come to my rescue, to save me from the hands of just one of the many bullies I ran from. I recently watched an episode of Young Sheldon where Sheldon is facing being bullied. He considered himself prey and I found this a very interesting analogy for the bullies and the bullied. As we grow in our Christian faith do we actually change positions? We often watch and stand idly by as injustice springs up all around us. We watch poverty stricken families to suffer and say, ‘that’s a shame what happened.’ We rarely offer help or substance in our condolences. We watch as the Devil pounces on people or families, destroying everything they have, and we do nothing. We as Christians were supposed to help the poor, help those underpaid, or underworked. We as Christians were supposed to help the single mothers, help the widows, and the widowers, but now we stand by and watch the suffering through the window but never lend a helping hand.

When we ourselves are the ones that have become pray for the Devil. Do we actually stand up for ourselves or do we roll over and play possum hoping for the Devil to pass over us? Do we sit back and wait for someone to save us, or do we get our hands dirty and attempt to climb out of the hole we find ourselves in. We cannot expect someone to come to our rescue, instead we must call upon the one true savior to free us from our trials. We must worship and pray earnestly, and put our hands in the mud, and boots on the ground and work to free ourselves. When I was in the military one of the things we learned about being held captive was to never stop trying to escape. We were ordered to never give up hope and never ever quit. We as Christians often give up hope that change will come. We sit back and wait for God to fix our situation but we do nothing to change it ourselves. We expect someone else to do the work for us just because we’ve prayed about it. We cannot sit by and expect the world to change if we are not willing to make the change ourselves.

I don’t know about sitting back and taking a hands off approach in my job regarding some of the ideals they have about security. For now I will pray about it, and I will consider both sides, but when the time comes, I hope to do what’s right before God, and let the chips fall wherever they may land. Doing what’s right isn’t always following the rules. We answer to God first, and then to the laws of man. We must be willing to do what’s wrong before man, to live and be judged by God. We must not turn our backs on those in need, and we must not turn our backs on the Lord. We must remain faithful no matter the pain we face. We wait on the Lord as we move and we must be bold in our obedience to the Lord. Wait for grace because the Father loves us. We must worship while we wait, but never stop moving. Keep running towards the Lord and don’t let the world stand in your way. Your heart can be deceived, and we can fall to the lies of this world, and we must trust in the Lord. Serve the Lord, serve your community, and never stop fighting the battles that will come. Life is about getting your hands dirty. Life is about taking the fight to the Devil and don’t sit back and wait for the fire to break out. Life isn’t fireproof, but you never ever leave your wingman. Jesus Christ is our wingman in this fight against sin. We can always count on the Lord to be by our side, but we have to want to work with Jesus not against. We must want to serve as humbly as we can. We will get hurt along the way, but we can be healed through Christ. We will see pain and suffering from others and we should be willing to rush into the fire and help whenever we can.

We are children of the King and thus comes with responsibilities to our brothers and sisters. We must consider that God is there for us, but are we open to being there for others being God’s hands and feet. When we preach the word we let the Holy Spirit work through us, so why do we turn our eyes away from those in suffering. We must be different, we must be better, because the world will only change if we work to change it. We must represent our Heavenly father to the best of our ability and never stop working to better yourself, and help better those around you. Don’t be a hands off Christian, no, get your hands dirty in works for the Lord. Rise above the world, rise above the troubles of our own life, and be willing to serve, stop expecting to be served. We may hurt, but we can heal. When we offer ourselves as a servant, we will understand what it means to live in Christ, at least a little.

Keeping you Down

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Keeping you Down

Have you ever looked at your life and thought, ‘I just can’t get ahead.’? Have you ever thought why that might be? I have a theory on that, and if you’d like to hear it, keep reading.

Our own sinful nature is often a good place to start when it comes to keeping us down. The second place to start is temptations. If you’re an angry child and you don’t get your way you throw a temper tantrum. You make a scene so everyone around can witness the injustice you’ve been dealt. In this case the Devil is the angry child throwing the tantrum. Know that the God who sits on the throne in heaven does not ever tempt us to do wrong. James 1:13 “When tempted, no one should say, ‘God is tempting me.’ For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone” We must learn to see with the eyes gifted by the Holy Spirit and become wise of scripture. Do not allow the ideals of this world to confuse you on the truth. God will allow us to enter into a trial for us to turn to Him, for us to turn to scripture, and for us to call upon the Holy Spirit to guide us in the ways of Christ.

If you are following the path of Sin and constant temptation you are allowing the Devil to tempt you and thus you are not walking in the Lord. If you are not walking in the Lord you have essentially turned your back to God and decided you wanted to do things your own way. If you feel you are not being blessed by  God and God isn’t hearing your prayers perhaps the first thing you need to do is ask if you’re truly walking with Christ or are you walking in the ways of the world. I would hypothesize that most people who are being kept down are actually there of their own accord. I believe that most people who are suffering through hard times, though not all, are actually suffering because of a choice or choices they have made that have led them down that path. Let me us this as an example:(You’re a wife and you decide to have an affair. You decide not to put your marriage first but your lust of another. Then when that fails you decide not to return to your husband who’s waiting with open arms, but continue on the path away from your marriage. You enter into an inappropriate marriage, which could affect your job. You make bad choices with that new person and eventually it costs you your job. From there you then turn to substance to help deaden the pain you face, and eventually leads to a traffic stop in which you are caught. This in turn affects your ability to get a new job, and affects where you live, and even when your husband still accepts you home, you choose not to return.) In this situation it’s clear some bad choices were made, but the biggest thing to take away is the path away from God. God wants a relationship with you, but he will never force his will upon anyone until he decides it’s time to punish his children. Punishment for disobedience will come, and when it does we cannot get mad at the father, we must look to ourselves to ask why we were in a position to get punished. God will never punish us for doing good or for following his path. If we choose to allow the Devil to tempt us, to draw us away then we are allowing ourselves to be drawn down a dark path. We ourselves will be the ones holding back from the blessings of God. The Devil wants to tempt us away, lure us into the van with a yummy piece of candy. The Devil wants to destroy our relationship with the Father because he was God’s favored child till he created humanity. He became jealous and when he turned on God he vowed to rise up and destroy him. He is a jealous son, and he is taking it out on humanity.

If you feel you are being kept down, perhaps you need to evaluate your current situation, your current choices, and then decide if you are walking with God or not. We must accept that our choices will have consequences. Those choices may have a lasting effect on our life and we can’t blame God when things don’t go well. We must understand that we can be the maker of our own struggles and accept that finding a path out may not be easy, and sometimes a choice may haunt us for the rest of our life. We can avoid that if we just walk with God and not the flesh. We often bring most of our own hardships upon ourselves, but not all. Life can be a cruel place and it can be a challenge to live in a peaceful state here on Earth. Have faith in the Lord and be sure to study scripture. Be sure to live in the world but never conform to it. Be sure to praise God for the good and bad, because in the bad we will often learn our most valuable lessons. Do not fear the storm, instead embrace it and come through better then you were. Fight the fight with Jesus by your side and you will find God will never leave you nor will he forsake you. Hold your head high even in the battles, and if you follow God, in time, you will be delivered from the fire and green pastures will be your resting place. Faith is not easy, and living in this fallen world isn’t easy. Temptations are everywhere you turn but learning to see them, and learning to avoid them will be a big step in your Earthly happiness.

 

Tough Changes

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Tough Changes

Have you ever been in a situation where you dreaded to face changes? I recently experienced the need to change my cell phone case. It wasn’t allowing me to use the functions as they should have been and it became more of an inconvenience then the protection it added. I think tough changes are hard for many people to go through. Changes at your job can be tough, and stressful. Changing schools can be tough for many. Moving out of your parents house and getting your own place can be an incredibly hard change to go through. All of these things are easy or difficult depending on each individual person. While for each situation everyone’s reaction is drastically different, and while some love change, and others loath it, one of the biggest things to change is our actions.

A popular saying is “some people never change.” Another popular saying is “once a cheater, always a cheater.” While both of these are very popular, how true do you personally think these sayings are? From my personal experience I believe they are right on the money. I think the hardest thing we will ever do is change our personality to change our actions. I’ve always said humanity would never change without a major outside force. I always figured a global extinction event such as asteroid, or drought, or contagion would be the most likely just behind nuclear war. Alien invasion (less likely) could potentially bring humanity together to face a common enemy. That being said, most people do not change without something big, and life changing occurring within their life or someone very close to them. Cancer, or a near death accident has a way to change someone’s perspectives. While we often see a spiritual change in some during these times, it doesn’t always stick. The biggest change most will ever experience is the coming to the savior Jesus Christ. It’s the change in the heart that can change a man completely.

Romans 12:1-2“I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” In the Lord we are born anew. In the Holy Spirit the soul is reborn in fire. When the Lord takes hold of our hearts, we cannot not be changed. We must push forward in the Lord and we must face that like the Phoenix, we are reborn in the burning fires of the Lord, and in our new selves we are compelled to repulse the desire of the sinful flesh. 2 Corinthians 5:17“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”

Change isn’t always easy, and even when you begin the following of the Lord, change isn’t always easy even after choosing the Lord. In our struggles though we should turn to our siblings in Christ and ask for them to help keep us accountable and true. We grow and we sprout from seeds in Christ and grow into a wonderful flower. The beauty in this world is only limited by our own stubborn selves. We often want to stay in our struggles because we are unwilling to change our own actions. We must change our lifestyles if we are ever expecting to change our own lives. I have watched my life grow and change in my financial walk with the Lord, my spiritual walk with my God, and even how I treat my friends. While life is full of tough challenges, changing our hearts to follow the Lord, and living in love, and denouncing hate shouldn’t be so hard, but the draw of sin is strong. Keep your faith, and keep your eyes on Jesus and always strive to change yourself to better please the Lord to what we see in scripture. Never give up hope on those around you who may be stuck in sin, and who don’t treat others with respect or love. It

Hope in a Hero

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Hope in a Hero

 John 16:33“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

 Who’s been down to the bottom of the barrel? We all have our struggles and our trials. Have you put your hope or prayers in someone? If you’re anything like me you’ve put your hope and faith in a person and that person dropped the ball. For me, I have been down to the woodshed of life a few times. I’ve been down and broken more then a time or two, but I’ve always managed to get back up. I can honestly say I didn’t get back up on my own. I have struggled with my wounds, and I’ve been struck a time or two. My whole life I wanted a father. My whole life I wanted an earthly father to look up too, someone to teach me what it was to be a man. I have found in my life one man who I had, for a while, then like many others, in the blink of an eye, that man was gone. I placed my faith in a man and when the time came they were gone. I placed my love and faith in a woman and in the blink of an eye she was gone leaving the family broken. My life was shattered and I laid there trying to find who I was. I was a let down to those around me. I was a failure, and a nobody. Recently someone I looked up to told me I was selfish because I needed, wanted a friend to be there for me. Some would say I haven’t learned anything in the last 20 months. While I will admit perhaps it’s true, perhaps I am selfish, perhaps my ex-wife was right and I am a selfish, arrogant, egotistical, narcissist.

I don’t know what I am, and to be honest, I often think my place in this world is a mistake. While I don’t have much faith in myself, I have to believe that God wouldn’t make a mistake. I know Jesus was a hero of man, a savior to be a great gift to humanity when we didn’t, we couldn’t ever disserve it. Jesus was a superhero among men and came with unlimited cosmic power but was no Genie. He came with a big heart and mercy we could never understand.

When the world has beaten me down and I’m covered in the lies, I know I need you. When the days are dark, and I have no faith, I know I need a hero. I wait for a hero and I know, when I pray, just barely a whisper and the hero of the universe hears my cries. I need a hero to save me tonight, and I know that the hero of my dreams will be right by my side. What is a hero, but a savior who comes in the darkness? Someone who saves you from the hopeless and who saves you when the wolves come howling and growling in the night. God is our Hero and the breath of God lives in each and every one of us. Because God lives in each of us, sometimes God calls us to be heroes among men but we are nothing without God. When we look to the Lord we know that through us God will do great things. God calls on us when the time comes to rise above the darkness and shine a light down for others to see. We must not run from God because we already have the second chance and we can’t waste it.

In the universe there is no one stronger, fiercer, more powerful then our God. We sing our praises to the Lord and believe in the power and love of our God. No greater love then our God. If we are to hope we must hope in our God because there is no other true hero. God makes heroes and those who raise up earthly heroes is a hero above all others. God is a healer, a mercy that’s unfailing, a place for the weak, a place to take refuge from the storm. A hero that can calm any storm, restore any soul, but a stopper in death, and a God that is faithful to a covenant that was paid for in blood. My Hero my God that saves me from the darkest of nights, the deepest of holes, and the strongest of oceans, and I am lifted to safety. I lift my hands to the true Hero in my life. I may not have ever had a Dad, but in my Lord I find my Abba, my Father. My father gives me strength. He teaches me how to be a man, and I will not let people tear me down. I will not let the hurtful words break me. If I am wrong I will listen and make things right, but the judgment and approval I seek is that of my one true Abba. I am waiting on my Hero my Lord to save me. I wait through the storm, I will wait through the pain, and I will keep my faith, keep my footing and trust in my service to the Lord while I’m waiting to be delivered from my pain. Please my God, do not let me fail, do not let me fall. Please my God hold me up and hold me tall. I’m waiting for my time my Lord to show me the way out of this darkness. I am not perfect Lord but please give me strength, give me the guidance, show me my path, and I will take the steps in obedience while I wait for you my Lord, my King, my Abba. I’m not worthy, and I never will be, but my Lord I’m waiting, I’m holding out for a hero to save me.

The Table

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The Table

A man of authority asks you kindly to join him at his table for good conversation, good food, and one more thing, eternal salvation. The price for this salvation is only your trust and heart to this man. This man has an open invitation and all are welcome. This man’s name is Jesus Christ. All are welcome, sinners, and saints alike. This invitation has no ethnic restrictions; no restrictions of class, or wealth, all are welcome. We aren’t perfect by any means, and even with our imperfections, Jesus Christ despite the constant abuse and attacks by the Sanhedrin, Jesus Christ would consistently tell them the only Judge who could pass judgment on sinners was God almighty.

I don’t deserve a place at this table with the king but I’ve been invited. I do not have to sit. Those who sit will eat the bread of life. Those who sit will drink the cup of the spirit. We do not have to take the bread, and we don’t have to take the cup. We are not only invited to the conversation which we don’t have to enter into, but we are then invited further to eat and dine with the Savior of all of our sins. Our savior doesn’t want slaves. He wants a relationship among friends.

I’ve recently found that there are a lot of misconceptions about who Christ is. While I’m not going to get into an education lesson here, I will say 11 men saw what they saw and were willing to die horrible gruesome deaths, that started with the worst kinds of torture the Romans knew how to inflict at the time. Who goes through that for a lie? Who’s willing to give up their life for a lie, and even if someone would, you would have thought that one of the 11 would have. No one, not one single man recanted his eyewitness account of Christ. The table that was offered to those 12, before Judas betrayed him, was open to all who would follow.

I for one know, I’m not perfect, but I know where I want to sit. I want to accept the invitation of my King to eat, and enjoy paradise for eternity. I want to be with my savior in Heaven, and the only thing I need to do is accept my Lord and Saviors invitation. How hard is that? I’m an imperfect sinner, unworthy of God’s love and grace, but I have it regardless of the fact I’m not deserving of it. That is grace, and that is love. When you give love so freely, so willingly that you are able to look beyond someone’s imperfections to allow into your perfect home, we are the beggar in filthy rags about to sit on a $5000 couch in the most pristine immaculate mansion on the planet and we still wouldn’t paint a picture of what our sin would look like in Heaven. Thankfully before we get to sit down at Christ’s table we are washed with the waters of the Holy Spirit, washed by the Blood of Christ and we are made to be a new creature.

I intend on going to Heaven to sit down with my Lord and Savior and accept his invitation into perfection. I hope each and every one of you will join me in Heaven. I hope each and every one of you knows why Jesus died on the Cross, and why he rose again. We have the dinner invitations, and the angels are singing Be Our Guest. Will you be going to the party, or am I going alone? You decide.

Expectations

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Expectations

There are things in this life I grew up knowing, believing with all my heart and soul. I believed in the Holy Spirit, I believed in the power of God, and the mercy of judgment that would one day befall me, and those I know. I spent my life wondering where I would be, and try to be the man God would see me be. I wanted to be a good Godly man. I wanted to be someone important to someone else. I wanted to be loved by someone as much as I loved them. I am the kind of man who expects myself to stand tall and firm that this life is precious and short. Our time here is not determined by our own making much of time, but that line is determined by God almighty. I can remember events in my life that shaped my understanding of life, and it quickly reminded me that this life is both short and important, and we as brothers and sisters in Christ must stand tall and be there for one another. I am the type of man that if a few days goes by that I don’t hear from a close friend I reach out to them. I am a man that I will send over a dozen hello’s to people just to let them know I was thinking of them and that they are important to me. All of God’s children are important, who are we to forget that it’s the fellowship, the relationships in this life that’s what’s truly important. We share the Gospel, and we rejoice the Lord with one another. Who are we if we forget our friends?

Proverbs 18:24 “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” We love Christ but we forsake our brothers. We should be ashamed of how we treat our friends. When we have so many ways in this generation to connect with others, we find ourselves busier and busier and no longer find or make the time for the important people in our lives. Luke 6:31“Do to others as you would have them do to you.” I don’t want to be remembered as the kind of man who let evil happen to my friends without ever stepping in to tell them they are loved by me and God. I want to be the man that reminds them they are loved as often as I can. This world is a cold place, and the least we can do is add a little love to those around us. The few seconds it takes to send a text, or a message, or a phone call, it’s truly a shame people have let life, let the Devil pull us apart. We must change our ways, and we must do better. We must be better because Jesus commanded us to strengthen your brothers. Luke 22:32“but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.” We are told over and over to stand watch, to help carry the cross. Galatians 6:2 “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” We don’t truly know the hell someone’s going through, and we won’t know if we don’t make connections.

We must fervently love to bring light to a dark world. We must live in Christ and trust the Holy Spirit to guide us in the direction we must travel. While today I admit I truly struggle with the lies of the Devil, I find myself harassed with tears, and feeling lost in the woods by myself. I have cried now for two days straight as I have been assaulted and beaten down. I have felt abandoned and forsaken by those with whom I had given my heart. I trusted, and put my own heart on the line with someone and that heart is broken. Despite the time I’ve spent trying to heal, every now and then something happens to open that wound. I searched for over an hour to find someone to call, so I could hear a friendly voice. Sadly, after all my time searching, I eventually gave up hope on anyone taking the time to answer my request. No one would and two hours later I would fall asleep to my own tears, with just a prayer and my dogs to comfort me. Now I realize how far we’ve come away from the Lord. I realize now how the only true blessing we can count is that of Jesus Christ and the blood to renew us from sin. This life will end one day, and the tough lessons learned, Jesus is the only true place we can put our hope. Love people but understand they are human, and we all fall short to the glory of God. We all fail our brothers and sisters, and while we hope to be there, the truth is, the only true thing we can depend on is God’s love.

 

 

 

 

 

Who Are You?

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Who Are You?

I’ve been putting a lot of thought into labels. “Please Lord Help Me Get One More!” (Pvt Doss) Who are we in the Lord? I have gone one day after another moving through life, and from one day to the next I have gone from one label to the next. I have searched for my place in this world, and growing up I felt lonely. I felt hallow year after year. As time went on I would find myself in labels. I became a vice president of SADD, a boyfriend, an actor, and as time went on a soldier, and a veteran, and a husband. One by one those labels would pass away into memory and would no longer hold any significance in my life. As time moved on and as one by one the label that once defined me became meaningless, just a memory. After my first divorce I never imagined I would ever have to go through that kind of pain or suffering again. As I fell in love and moved towards marriage again, I trusted I wouldn’t be forced to relive that kind of pain. The label I most relate to now, is broken. I’m a two time divorced thirty something year old man, physically broken, emotionally broken, and in between my own moments of clarity, a reminder of how fragile that peace truly is. A lie here, a deceit there, and a broken heart, a hole ripped open and not filled. A wound that heals, and before it’s done, it’s ripped open again. So, who am I, the truth, I don’t know. I don’t honestly know who I am anymore. I’ve been in this fire, this crucible for so long now I don’t know how to get out.

I’ve struggled a long time with heartbreak; I have struggled a long time with a point in time where I got stuck. Some days I feel like I’ve taken such great steps forward, and then without warning, I’m right back there. A record scratched unable to play through the song. I know my pain is real, and yet, I feel like I am weak because I haven’t been able to move forward and radically accept the world as it is, accept my new path, and accept to move forward. I pray daily to the Lord on high to take my pain away, but here I am, so many months later, crying, unable to face the pain I feel deep inside. I feel as if I will break apart over and over if I let myself go. I am afraid of myself, and I’m afraid of what my future might hold if I let the gates open.

The world isn’t a fair and just place. The world is governed by sin, led by the Devil to break us down, to push us and try to sway us away from God. What happens when we suffer in pain? What people go through is horrific, it’s unimaginable, it’s a struggle sometimes just to breath, but what is that pain really mean? Pain is the result of something upsetting the balance of our lives in a negative way. Pain is a change from our comfort forcing to manage an event that is horrible. What happens to people that causes pain is the work of evil. There is no promise to a pain free life. As long as there is free will in the world evil will find a way. Bad things happen to a lot of people, a lot of good people who perhaps the evil things happening is unfair, but we live in a world fallen from grace, and this life, for better or worse is our test. Evil exists in the world because free will allows us to follow our own path, and deviate from the path of God. God is with us every moment of every day in our walk, and yet, when the pain happens the emotions we feel is still very real. We cannot expect to turn them off and pretend like the traumas didn’t happen. There’s something we need to do, something we all must do in order to bring balance, to bring closure, and to move forward.

Who are we? We are men, women, children, fathers, and mothers. We are cooks, and poets, painters, and singers. Craftsman of all kinds whether it be of young minds as a teacher, or protectors of others as military, or police. Whatever we are as a profession, that’s not the label we should identify with. We are children of the king. We are sinners, and we are royalty to paradise. Some choose a path that does not include God. Some choose a path that includes a false idol. We are all judged equally at the foot of the cross, the very spot where blood was spilt to redeem us of our sinful nature. The blood that was spilt bridged the chasm that had existed for so long with a bridge of light and love. Jesus was the sacrifice for the world to break the chains that held us to damnation. I was asked recently how God could make Jesus die on the cross for our sins; God didn’t make anyone do anything. Free will has existed and if Jesus wanted to rule the world as an overlord, he could have. God was Jesus, and took the punishment for sins in a moment of divine separation from God to man. The blood spilt from the cross to the ground covered the earth and released us of the ramifications that sin forever separated the Father and us. Sin remains but we have the choice to follow Christ and allowing the Holy Spirit, which rose from death to cover the world in light. We were bought at a high price, a sacrifice from our father to take upon the punishment needed for sin, instead of having us take that punishment on ourselves. We would never be able to pay the debt needed to wipe away sin. Jesus Christ died for us, to give us a chance at paradise, but we have to make the choice ourselves. One thing with choice, and this may be the hardest thing we will ever do, forgive those who’ve hurt us. Forgive those who have brought pain like we wouldn’t believe is possible. Forgiveness is never excusing someone for his or her actions. It’s never absolving them of the justice that is due, but it brings balance to our hearts when we give up our own selves, and allow God to be the judge of the sinner not us. Sinners cannot judge other sinners. At the foot of the cross each of us is guilty, none of us is deserving of the grace and mercy that was bestowed upon us, but in that grace and mercy comes trust. We go through life with our pain, our struggles, and the only way for us to find true healing and peace is to give it up to God. We were never meant to carry such burdens in our lives and that’s why God wants us to come to him and give them to him. Forgiveness is the hardest thing some of us will ever have to do in our lives. Facing such deep pain, deep anger, deep resentment towards a person or people for the actions that have in some way hurt or wronged us is quite possibly the hardest thing a person can do. Forgiveness is about healing. It’s about finding closure and learning how to move forward with our lives. Vengeance is mine sayath the Lord. We cannot understand how one sin is just as bad as the next, and in our own pain we are faced with a choice, one that we must make every day, move forward with forgiveness in our hearts. “Nobody gets away with anything. Everything here has consequences.”(The Shack) “I’m not asking you to excuse what he did, I’m asking you to trust me to do what’s right, and to know what’s best… ‘then what’ ‘forgiveness doesn’t establish a relationship, it’s just about letting go of his throat.” We get stuck in our pain because we won’t, not because we can’t.

In our walk of forgiveness we don’t have to do it alone. Every day we must learn to say it out loud. We must look at our pain and focus on the grace of God and believe that God is working even in the midst of the worst tragedies of our lives. “I’m still angry.’ Of course you are, no one lets go all at once. You might have to do it a thousand times before it gets any easier, but it will.” (The Shack)

The who is a child of the King. We are blessed with a God who loves each and every one of us in an individual way. We are more then the failures we make, or the wrongs we have done. We are more then whatever labels we have put on ourselves, and we are more then the pain we’ve endured. Don’t let that pain keep your from experiencing love, and joy again. Don’t allow your anger and pain, and guilt to rob you of a life in the love of Christ and others. Find yourself in the grace and love of Jesus. In all things good, and bad, and ugly Jesus said he would always be with us. When we suffer, we do not suffer alone. This life is the test for eternal life. The saying goes, you only live once, and while that’s true, it’s in this life we make choice after choice that will determine where we spend it. Every tear I cry God holds my tears as He’s always by my side. When my strength is almost gone and I wonder how I will carry on, I know, I remember that God is with me, side by side. Though I can’t feel the hand of God, I trust that it’s on my shoulder when I cry alone in a dark room. Having faith when you are broken isn’t easy. Having faith that those who’ve wronged you will be dealt with by Abba, it’s hard to not turn our focus to vengeance. Philippians 3:14“14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” We are called to give ourselves freely to Jesus. We are called to love our neighbors and in that love we are connected.

Every day you wake up is a blessing and a gift. It’s an opportunity to go out into the world and share the good new of Christ with people you meet. Some days, you may wake up and the pain you feel makes your legs led weights and it’s all you can do to get out of bed. When those days happen, just remember that God has chosen you for a purpose. We are many things in this life, but the one that stands above the rest is a warrior for Christ. To be a Christian is to be a soldier for the Lord. As the Lord has chosen different people from all walks of life, it’s sometimes hard to accept that we of all people are chosen for the tasks God has set out for us, but as those before us, God equips us for the mission and we must trust in the Lord to see us through. Judges 6:14“And the Lord turned to him and said, “Go in this might of yours and save Israel from the hand of Midian; do not I send you?” The Lord chose a young man named Gideon and as it happens nearly every time, Gideon told God he’s got the wrong guy. Much like those before me, I have often said God had the wrong guy, that I was a nobody, I wasn’t fit to fill this position, but God sees the whole picture, while we only see a small puzzle piece. We are to inherit the royal kingdom of Heaven, so we are groomed from conception to be a champion.

Never stop believing in yourself. Never stop trusting in the Lord, and believing you are who God see’s you as. We all make mistakes, but if we are a champion, then we can make it through any challenge, we can survive any obstacle, and we will always come out on top because we have the strongest force around, the almighty father. We will all fall into many labels through our life, but the only one that truly matters is the champion for Christ. When we find ourselves low, and questioning who we are, where we have fallen to, or when we are trying to dig ourselves out of the rubble that is our life, we know that the storm is temporary. Heaven is eternity. God’s love and grace is never ending and we need to have faith in the plan we cannot see. Do not listen to the lies of the Devil who will try to make you believe you’re something you’re not. You’re not a looser, you’re not a failure, you’re not worthless. These things are not to be believed. We all fail sometimes, we all fall short of expectations, but that doesn’t mean we are forever in that position. In time we shall rise above, and knowing that Jesus is with us, holding our hand, guiding us, we need to listen to the spirit. Follow the guidance and rise and thrive. That’s who we are, we are warriors, and we never quit.

 

 

 

Extinguish the Fire

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Extinguish the Fire

We always talk about fire both being life saving and life destroying. I know for me, I came to God in pieces, and was healed. I found a God who loved me and forgave me of my sins. I trusted in the Lord and the Lord has led me to a brighter, healthier life. I felt the fire in my heart, and every day I take time to add logs to fuel that fire, to keep it burning bright. Our faith should be a raging fire in our very souls. Our faith should have us on fire for the Lord, and we should be burning with desire to spread and share the Gospel to all we encounter. We sing to praise the Lord. We dance to praise our Lord. We fellowship, and give to praise our Lord, because the God above is a loving God, full of Mercy, and Grace, and Redeeming power. We must continue to add fuel to our fire, we must stay in the word, stay in fellowship as to not let our fire go out. We must be revived every day by the burning love of the Holy Spirit.

Many of us, especially men, especially veterans who live with PTSD, anger, sadness, despair, hopelessness, and so many other emotions are floating around either at the surface, or just beneath the surface hidden from sight. How do we manage to fight feelings when we aren’t sure are even there? We must learn to face our fears, stop allowing our emotions to control us. We must learn to identify our feelings and find ways to manage them. We cannot expect to be without our feelings. They are apart of us, and we need to have them. We mustn’t forget we are people, we can be wounded, and we must understand that it’s in those times we need help in our journey, our Odyssey of healing. Check the facts and question if the facts support your feeling. We must learn to understand why we feel the way we do. We must learn to expect sometimes with PTSD our feelings aren’t justified, so we must learn why and how to change that. We must learn to pray for the peace we seek. We must learn to turn the other cheek and be better at controlling the anger that most of us feel inside. Feelings of inadequacy, guilt, or even self loathing can cause feelings of anger, or the opposite cold and numb. We cannot allow ourselves as heads of our households to be consumed by PTSD. We must learn to rise above and come to grips with the past and chose to no longer allow it to direct your path. You are in control, and you are strong enough to face the wounds and start the healing process. When you are feeling anger we can use distractions, meditations, opposite actions, self-soothing, breathing, and a plethora of other ways that are healthy and effective in changing the nature of the distressing emotion.

Learning skills and putting them into use is never easy. Learning how to reprogram your brain to handle intense emotions more effectively is perhaps one of the hardest things you’ll every challenge yourself to achieve. Therapies such as DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) Or CBT (Cognitive behavioral therapy) can be highly effective if the effort is put into use. Like anything else the brain takes repetition to learn, and if done enough correctly, your brain will learn the muscle memory and will slowly begin to alter your perception. Studies also show that a person who has a stronger faith will recover from tragedy much faster then those without. Psalm 93:4“4 Mightier than the thunders of many waters, mightier than the waves of the sea, the Lord on high is mighty!”The Lord is power, and with great power, the Lord is merciful and loving. We are loved and by grace we are saved. In our journey to find emotional enlightenment, and peace, I would recommend understanding that this journey is a difficult one, and once you learn the tools, putting them to use is the key. Just like a newborn in your faith, it takes time and energy. Proverbs 9:10“10 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight.” Start the journey and stay on track. You’ll have your moments where you get off the rails, but that’s to be expected. Find brothers and sisters in Christ and ask them to help you on your journey, and to help keep you accountable. We have the ability to let go of some of our emotional baggage, so we need to learn how to drop that weight. Focus on the good and positive things even in the midst of crisis. Never forget that it’s okay to fail as long as you learn, and it’s okay to fall as long as you get back up. Put out the fire of the anger and hate in your heart, and replace it with the burning fire of the Holy Spirit. Find your inner peace by opening your heart and mind to the Lord. Find peace in the love that was shed for all of us in life, overcoming death. Be deliberate in your feelings, and loving others as we are also loved. God bless.