Dishonor

Dishonor

“Dishonor, dishonor on your whole family, dishonor on you, dishonor on your cow!” (Mulon) We are brothers and sisters in the blood of Christ. We represent our beliefs every minute of every day. We are ambassadors of our Lord and Savior, and yet we go out and party and act a fool. We leave home and especially when we leave church we are completely different people. When we are at work, or with friends at the bar and being cruel drunkards, the question can be asked, ‘aren’t you a Christian, a follower of Christ?’ our response should really be ‘Christ who?’ It’s sad, but true. Do we truly walk in Christ everywhere we go, or just act like we should when it’s to put up a good front?

We use God as our cosmic 911. We call to God when our life falls apart. We expect God to fix our lives and save us from our trials. We have the blessings of free will, but how do we use it? In our country we have a promise, “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” Have you ever thought about what this really means? The promise of this country is two main points and one that is put on the individual. While we are free from persecution, we are able to protect our life, and our liberties, but while all will pursue happiness, some will never find it. Some of course will, but we must truly understand where happiness comes from. We are given a chance to pursue Christ, and enjoy the gifts of Heaven, but while many will come to the Father on the Day of Judgment, many will never enter and enjoy the true nature of happiness. Heaven is obtainable, but not for everyone.

When we don’t act like Christians we dishonor ourselves. When we make questionable decisions we bring dishonor on the name Christian. When we behave badly we bring dishonor on all of our brothers and sisters in Christ. Our brothers and sisters in the Lord are family. We are eternally bound by the blood of Christ, and yet, we are so selfish and narcissistic we think our actions affect no one but ourselves. That’s a lie straight from Hell. For every bad decision we make in the public eye, anyone who knows we are a Christian it hurts our witness. We can drive people away from Christianity by the way we act. We all act upright and proper in church but feel once we take off the tie, remove the church dress, we are taking the party animal, the sin nature out of the cage, and let it go wild. How we treat others, the language we use, the activity we take part in, all represents who we are inside. As Batman once said, “It’s not who I am underneath, it’s what I do that defines me.”What we do is a mirror of what’s on the inside though. Yes our actions are what defines us, but what drives us? If we are truly living in Christ we shouldn’t want to behave poorly. We should respect that salvation enough to try to avoid sin. We are all sinners and there’s no changing that, but it doesn’t mean we have to engage in sinful activities freely. We will be made to answer for our sins, and we can rest assured we won’t like the consequences.

2 Corinthians 5:10“For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things [done] in [his] body, according to that he hath done, whether [it be] good or bad.” If not even the Angels from Heaven received a reprieve for their actions, what do you think will happen to you, if you blatantly sin thinking there are no consequences? 2 Peter 2:9 “The Lord knoweth how to deliver the godly out of temptations, and to reserve the unjust unto the day of judgment to be punished:” We will all have to give an account of our sins. Will we admit to our sinful ways and ask for forgiveness, or will we argue and make excuses? God knows our hearts, we cannot hide anything.

 

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Patiently Waiting

 

Patiently Waiting

When Change happens unexpectedly we don’t always understand why. We can’t always see the reason for it, and we can only hope and lean back on faith to except what’s happened. We see in scripture over and over how patience is rewarded. We see the need to trust in God’s plan. We see in Galatians 4:21-22 the author is talking about the repercussions of not following the plan God lays out for us. Abraham was told he would sire children, but as his age increased he became more and more skeptical. He became impatient and took his wife hand madden into his bedchamber and she became pregnant. His actions once outside the will of God had dire consequences that have shaped the known world as we see it today. Eventually he would fall back to God and the promise made to him was kept. Him and his wife did have children.

As it seems opportunities come into my life and leave just as abruptly, it’s a hard life longing for something so deeply and being told by god the time isn’t right. Watching as people come and go and yet as much as it pains me to see them leave, I am not and have always been powerless to stop it. As the rising tide of the flood comes it’s inevitable and we cannot stop it. We are powerless to stop the approaching tornado and the destruction left in it’s wake. We are told the trials would come and to be prepared for them. As I’ve noted there is a difference in training and then the actual mission. Before every mission we had a brief but rarely did the mission go exactly according to plan. We always had to adapt and overcome. We train to know how to react when the plan flies off the rails. Often time disaster strikes when we loose our patience and act impulsively. Life is not a sprint, yet in our time, everyone is in a hurry to get everywhere. We always want everything right away. The problem with patience is when you’re forced to play the long game, it can feel like an eternity when it’s something you desire most.

I’d say one of the hardest moments is when you know something wonderful has come into your life, and when the Devil destroys that hope. For me it feels like the Devil’s games have been never ending and designed to break my hope and my spirits. I won’t lie, the latest attack has taken a horrible toll for me. Just when life seemed to be turning around, and hope seemed stronger then it’s been in over a year, the Devil’s whispers, and fear caused a cascade failure, and everything went like Chernobyl. Sadly the Devil is meddling in my life and just won’t let me have any peace. Philippians 4:6-7 “do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” It’s been difficult for me to follow what I know to be true. The pain left from disappointment is so strong, it’s hard to remain focused on the big picture, and remember that God’s still in control, and his will, will be done, and eventually it’ll work out. Philippians 4:11-14 “11 Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. 12 I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. 13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me. 14 Yet it was kind of you to share[a] my trouble.” Paul knows the difficult road some of us were bound to endure. In his ministry he saw his on share of hardships from beatings, to shipwrecks, to what’s likely a physical ailment that plagued him for a long time. In all things though, and in all areas of his travels, and through all the hardships, he writes that he has found peace in knowing God is still in control, and nothing in this life can remove his salvation in the blood of Jesus Christ.

We must remember even in our impatience a Thanksgiving turkey will not cook faster because we try to will it to happen. The best things in life often take longer to have. We can try to speed up the process, but if we try to go against God’s plan or his wish for us, what we obtain will undoubtedly fail us. The pursuit to contentment starts with faith, prayer, and learning to live more in the moment and take your gaze away from tomorrow.

My Heavenly father, as I watch in disappointment at yet another failure, I lift my plea to you. Please look into my heart and if it be your will, please show me the path to get what I desire most. I have suffered much, and long, and I pray to you to remove this thorn from my side. Please help my broken heart mend, and provide me the courage and strength to keep up the fire, to face another day as I struggle with shame and guilt. My God please hear my prayer and rescue me from the darkness of despair. In your Holy Name, Amen.

Giving Yourself Away

Giving Yourself Away

It starts of small, just once, just a little bit, and that’s when it takes hold. We give up one small piece of our principles, and then another, and before long the black and white becomes gray. The fall doesn’t always happen quickly, sometimes it’s a slow moving enemy that creeps along scrapping at your heart a little at a time.

We often stand on our principles determined not to give in to temptations of this fallen world. We see the fall happening all around us. We see public figures from government to Hollywood getting caught with their principles around their ankles. We see politicians accepting bribes, actors turning to drugs and more and more sex candles rock the new like never before. We have watched as our nation endures the slow fade in what is now accepted on this earth and ignoring the once proud biblical principles we once stood strong on.

We face temptations and the first time we tell ourselves ‘It’s okay, just this once.” We have taken the step into the quicksand. Sin can be described many different ways. Sometimes a major event can alter perceptions, but I like to think those circumstances are more rare. I think sin is more like boiling a frog. The water is cool when the frog is dropped in so the frog doesn’t notice anything is wrong. As the water heats (as sing grows and spreads) by the time the frog realizes anything is wrong it’s too late, the damage is done. (We find ourselves buried under the mound of sin.)

So many marriages that end due to affairs you see the near identical timelines. “It started off very innocent and we were just friends.” The slow draw of sinful lust can creep in untamed yet slowly as to not draw attention to the danger ahead. Most affairs could be snuffed out with a single choice to walk away. The little steps that make the right and wrong to an ambivalence for those their actions may affect. The truth is sin attacks at each of our hearts differently. The choices we made “there’s a price to be paid, people never crumble in a day.”(Slow Fade, Third Day)

I’ve lived with a broken heart twice as I’ve seen thoughts betray a promise made but not kept. I’ve watched the life I had crumble away. The heart was betrayed, lied to by desire, fooled by lust, and choices made destroyed so much more then a home. I’ve seen drugs take hold of people’s lives with the lies and promises that the substance make them feel better. But eventually the affects of the drugs wear off and more is needed. Then more, and before you know it you’re chasing one high to the next unable and unwilling to handle life. What seemed benign at first slowly turned to tear down the walls of everything you held most dear.

Do now allow the darkness to grab hold. Don’t allow yourself to fall victim to the thoughts that pull you away from Christ. Once down the dark path though hope is never lost, you don’t want the veiled promises. You can’t trust the lies, the whispers from the Devil. The price paid for the retched path is high. “The bill comes due, always.” (Dr. Strange) We don’t need to face those horrible consequences if we stay on the path laid out by Christ. Turn away form lies, and turn away from adultery. Stay away from hate, and don’t give into the fear. We must learn to praise God in the sun, or the rain. We must pray joy, peace, love, but if there’s a storm we must we must pray that no matter where we find ourselves we do it all for the glory of God.

God shines down from heaven today, and no matter what your situation is on this day, raise your hands to the sky, praise Jesus for the life we have. Find hope that the storm will settle, or the meadow is peaceful. Wherever the road takes you today, trust and praise Jesus. While you draw breath there is always hope. Never give up hope on God for the calm waters might be just around the river bend.

Hello, Is Anyone There?

Hello, Is Anyone There?

What do we want, what we really, really want? We want attention. We want to feel accepted, and to feel wanted. We want to feel like we are important, and yet in our lives, how often do we make anyone feel important to us? We want to know God’s listening to us, and that God loves us, but how often do you give anything back? How often do you make your decisions based on what would bring glory to God?

When things don’t go your way do you throw a tantrum like a little child? Do you stomp your proverbial feet, and huff and puff? I’m sure at some point we all have. It’s easy to be distracted by life and take our focus away from God. It’s easy to wonder when we will get our blessings, and we expect to be rewarded for a job well done. Even in my own career when I don’t receive adulation I become frustrated and I feel like my skills or experience is being taken advantage of or under utilized.

God wants our attention and if needed He will get your attention, but you probably won’t like how. We must learn to focus our time and energy better. We must learn to take the time to bring glory to the father and trust in his will.

I have walked away along my own path before and when things went badly because I thought I could do it my way, I got frustrated and had a frank conversation with God. We’ll obviously the big guy upstairs gave me the best Red Forman I’d ever seen as I didn’t just get the smack upside the back of the head, but I got the boot too. We can try to do it our way, but don’t get mad when you ignore the warning and stick your finger in a light socket.

We want people to notice us and we often go to great lengths to make noise for people to see us. How many kids get in trouble at school just so someone will notice them? How many mass shooting/suicides are done by those who lived as loners, who wanted people to love them and pay attention to them? The numbers are staggering when we realize that if we just loved a little more, most major tragedies could be avoided.

I say this to you, the only thing that truly matters is the love of the Lord. We can walk with people all day long, but people are cruel, and judgmental, and are often self-centered. The cost for not turning to the Lord can be high, and in most cases much higher then we’re willing to pay. Though we’re not willing to pay it, but when we spend so much time ignoring God can we truly be surprised by the consequences of our own actions? You can spend far less time and energy loving God and walking on God’s terms, then the misery you’ll find yourself in and the effort you’ll spend trying to fix your life when it all goes to Hades. Do it right the first time and God won’t have to smack you on your head. You have attention, but you just need to focus on where it’s coming from. If you don’t feel like you belong keep searching because somewhere, there’s a place you’ll call home. It’s not always easy to find, but God wants you to be around like minded Christian folks. Keep searching and never give up hope. Go outside your comfort zone and put your feelers out and God will lead you where you have to go. You have to have faith. Keep pushing forward and listen to God and you’ll find your way.

Explosive Memories

Explosive Memories

I try not to think about it most of the time. I remember the sounds, the sights, even the smell of sulfur. I can remember each incident and as much as I try not to think about it, there are days. The struggle for veterans returning home from war can vary differently from one to the next. For me I have spent years facing my demons. Behind every uniform is a story. My story hasn’t ended, but my time in uniform has. The wounds left behind leave scars and those don’t ever go away. I can remember one explosion after another, and from the way it feels as the blast goes through you. I remember the fear I would face while on patrol, trying to stay focused, but in those memories, I sadly brought them home with me. My time in war fundamentally changed me, and because of that, because of how I was changed, I find some days I struggle to enjoy some of the same things other people like.

The other day I was driving to work and found myself in a traffic jam. Most people would perhaps be a little frustrated, but me, there’s a level of fear, and that fear turns to anger. I am terrified of sitting in traffic because I am not in control at all. I am afraid of being caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. I am afraid of the trash on the side of the road. I’m afraid of the crowds I encounter while I’m out in public. I’m afraid of the movie theater. I’m afraid of the mall. I’m afraid of being caught ill prepared. In my life I have spent a lot of time focusing on the what ifs, planning for the emergencies to be as prepared as possible. I have to hope that in the darkness of this world, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Revelation 21:4“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

 John 16:33“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” In my day, I am haunted by the memories of my past. I have struggled to let go, and remember that Christ overcame the world. His blood set me free, and though my trials my be today, my Heaven is tomorrow. Living with PTSD isn’t always easy, but we keep pushing forward. Dealing with the day-to-day strife can lead your heart to feel heavy. We must not focus on the cant’s, or why something is too hard, we need to focus on what we can do. John 14:1“Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me.” Though my past and my grief haunt me, I must thank the Lord for the love and mercy that’s placed upon me every day. Jesus has offered me everything, and I can’t let the pain of yesterday turn my focus. The Devil tries to distract me, lie to me, prey on my weaknesses, and I will admit, some days he gets his claws in and it’s all I can do to push him away. Don’t forget the purposes of our true journey. Keep pushing forward and focus on today, not yesterday.

I think back to the day I was something in my own eyes, and when the tornado struck my life and ruin was left in it’s wake, I think back to how foolish I was to think my happiness could last. I placed my self worth on those around me. I placed my happiness in the hands of others, to include family, friends, and my wife. I trusted all the wrong people, and putting my faith in the world, thinking if I walked the walk, talk the talk, prayed the prayers, that I might be spared the hardships of another divorce or worse. The thing is when you are strong in your faith, the Devil attacks, and he attacks, and he’s relentless to see how long he can push you till you break. How much  can you take before you curse God, turn your back, and walk deeper down the dark path.

No matter the hardships you’ve endured, the horrors you’ve seen, you need to remember who the true enemy is at the end of the day. Put not your faith in man for we are fickle and swayed easily, but put your faith in the Lord for God is never changing, and always we are found in God’s love and grace. The road is long, but the blessings of tomorrow outweigh the pain of today.

Bullies

Bullies

Sometimes in life you will encounter a person in power and they will be more or less a bully. I’ve been in situations where I’ve had bosses or supervisors that no matter what I’ve done or tried to do, nothing was ever good enough. I think we’ve all encountered people in our professional lives that just made the work experience near unbearable. A friend recently told me, “you don’t quit jobs, you quit managers.” I had never thought of leaving a job like that before. When I put a little thought into it, I realize that most of the time when I have not liked a job, it turned out to be the boss that made it the worst.

The Devil is a bully. He will push you, lie to you, and attempt to break you. The Devil hates you for all that you are. Isn’t it wonderful though that we have a God that loves us for who we are? We never have to work for that love. We’re not judged with how much we work, or how many brownie points we can get. God is fully aware of what’s in our heart and our motives. It’s the love that matters.

When you encounter a bully in your life there are millions of ways people will tell you to handle them. In my own life I have heard the, ‘just ignore them.’ Advice. I have heard the, ‘make fun of yourself right along with the bully,’. I have heard ‘stand up for yourself, by any means necessary.’ While each one of these is very popular, I would suggest turning to the bible to find your true good advice Matthew 5:43-48“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’44 But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. 46 For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47 And if you greet only your brothers,[a] what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? 48 You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” We cannot allow ourselves to loose sight of God. We must not allow ourselves to succumb to the darkness. Anger, and hate lead to the dark side. We must stand firm. We must never loose control in anger. 2 Timothy 1:7“7 for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”

It’s easy to get wrapped up in our anger and that anger can blind us to the path that’s best for us. That anger and rage that can bubble up from years of torment, or physiological torture, can be hard to control. We must never set out to find our own vengeance though. Violence always begets violence. We cannot expect to change the world by physical means. Romans 12:19-20 “19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it[a] to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” 20 To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” If your bully attacks you, ask if you can pray for them. If they attack you, ask if everything’s okay at home. Bullies often have misguided anger or rage. Do not hate the bully nor pass judgment upon them. We never know someone’s circumstances, and while it never excuses their actions, it may provide some incite. Generally, hurting people hurt others. We cannot allow ourselves to let our tormentors to breach our heart with hate. We must not allow hate to take route in our souls. 1 John 2:9 “Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness.”

We must stand firm on love. Let love be our war cry and in everything we do, and everything we experience trust in the Lord to save you, and pull you through. Psalm 18:3 I ” call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies.” We have to trust in the Lord to deliver us from evil. There will always be bullies for as long as there is anger and hate in this world. Bullies feel the need to be in power. Bullies feel the need to be in control and those in control often feel they have to force their subordinates into submission. Matthew 5:38-41“I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies.” The bullies we have will beat you and hurt you emotionally. They will continue to try to break you down and look forward to seeing you breaking.

We have all encountered these people in our lives. Many have experienced bullying in school, and some in the adult world. Those difficult people are everywhere and in our struggle we must pray to be delivered from the hands of the enemy. Psalm 82:4 “Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked.” No matter the trials that befall you, you get back up and never let your own worth reside by the hands of your enemies. We must remain strong, and trust that we are worth more then what others can make us feel. Proverbs 24:16“for the righteous falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked stumble in times of calamity.” We must always get back up. We know that for every fall we rise in strength, and we can be stronger then before if we learn a lesion with each fall. Finally I will say do not attack your attacker. We must learn and I must reiterate the importance to not attack your attacker. I am not saying do not defend yourself in the event there is a physical altercation, but what I am saying is never attack out of anger. If you are being physically assaulted you should leave that situation and find help, or defend yourself and at the first chance remove yourself from your situation and again go find help. Stand firm in your faith and with love and compassion live your life. 1 Peter 3:8-9“8 Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. 9 Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.”

Born a Slave, Die as Royalty

Born a Slave, Die as Royalty

A baby is born on a beautiful night. The silence of 400 years was broken with a babies cry. This baby would be born into a world where his coming would upset the status quo. He would be hunted for being heir to the throne. He would grow up learning scripture, studying both God, and hard work. He would be a carpenter like his step dad, and would dedicate his life to be a servant. He would serve and heal the sick, give hope to the hopeless, and when he revealed himself as the Son of God, he would be revered as royalty. He was of the royal bloodline of David the rightful heir of Jerusalem. Jesus was so much more then an earthly king. He was the savior of mankind. He was the blood sacrifice that would cover the earth, close the gap between God and man, and forever bring hope upon mankind.

In our pop culture we have many examples of what it means to carry on the family business. Clark Kent, or Kal-El, is the last son of Krypton. He is the hope of the justice league. He is the representation of his people, a people who have long been gone. He represents his race. Bruce Wayne represents his parents, his fallen parents who died tragically when he was just a boy. He stands a figure head of Wayne Enterprises to change the world as a business leader. At night he funnels his rage to find justice for his parents. Diana Prince, the princess of Themyscira. She’s the representative of her people, and she also brings hope to the people, a shining light, a beacon of a brighter tomorrow.

No matter what  profession you belong to, we are all people, born under the father, cleansed by the blood of the savior Jesus Christ. We are responsible for our actions, and as Christians we should be ashamed of how we treat our brothers and sisters. We should feel ashamed with how we represent our birthright. We are children of God, and thus we are royalty. We are heirs to heaven, the kingdom, and we owe it to ourselves to step forward in the best light we can. How the world sees a Christian can change the direction for even one person. We must always put our best foot forward as we carry on the legacy of Christians. We have big shoes to fill, as the Apostils before us gave everything to get the truth of Christ into the world. When was the last time we risked anything to tell others about our Lord and Savior? When was the last time we stood tall on our beliefs? When was the last time we sacrificed anything to get the truth out into the world? We must do better, but more importantly if we are truly to consider ourselves saved by our savior, shouldn’t we want to do better? Shouldn’t we be better in the ways we treat others, and the ways we treat ourselves? Shouldn’t we want to show the world that as a Christian we genuinely are different?

 

It’s time we started acting like royalty instead of the selfish, spoiled brats we act like now. Be the change in this world. Change the world by changing yourself. Change the world by having other see something special in how you act every day. Change yourself, and the rest will follow. Galatians 4:7 “So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God.” Heaven is not just a place, but as a rightful heir to it as a son of God, we have responsibilities to live in Christ, and a commandment we are given is to love our brothers and sisters, love Christ, but also to share the good news with everyone, and spread the word throughout the globe in the Great Commission. We fight a spiritual battle, and much like Superman fighting for Truth, Justice, and the American way, or Batman bringing fear who pray on the fearful in his quest for justice, or Wonder Woman who fights for love, and peace. We who live our life in Christ are heroes to God, and if we can share a little love, inspire just one person, help bringing just one person to the Lord, we are heroes in heaven, and it’s something to rejoice over. Don’t give up hope, keep moving forward, forward always. We are all born into this world as a slave. I myself was born a slave, lived as a soldier, and I will one day die as royalty. Jesus shed blood so we would all be gifted salvation, a blood bond, that would give us heaven, we are children of the King which makes us royalty.

 

 

Which way do I go George?

Which way do I go George?

Have you ever been in a situation where you didn’t know which way to go? When you’ve come to a point in your life when you decide to follow your own path rather then the Lords you are on a road to destruction. In Galatians 4:21-31 scripture talks about the promise verses the law. Are we following our path, or God’s promise? So many years ago Abraham decided God’s timing wasn’t good enough and took his hand madden and had a child out of wedlock. In Abraham’s impatience he didn’t follow God’s plan, and the repercussions from that has been over 2000 years of war. The descendent of that unholy union came Muhammad and thus the war between Muslims and Christians began. We can take a valuable lesion from this and realize since we only see a small sliver of the river, we need to take a step back from ourselves, and understand that God has a proverbial birds eye view of what’s to come, and he is not going to lead us astray.

 

Not to long ago I was in South Carolina and one of the exorcises we were doing was a trust exorcise in which someone was blind folded at a rock wall, and the person behind them was to guide them up the wall telling them where to put their hands and feet. For many reasons this was a very difficult event to accomplish. The fate of the exorcise was in someone else’s hands and that was one thing to let go of that control. The other was how well the person on the ground described the next step and how quickly they gave you the instructions. I don’t think I have to tell you if the person on the ground wasn’t quick enough, or not experienced in climbing, the task was near impossible.

 

When we are at a cross roads in our life, are we listening to God or are we going to do it our own way? I have been single now for some time after my wife left, and I have found that the physical intimacy in a relationship is something I miss. I miss the cuddles on the couch watching a movie. I miss the conversations in bed before falling asleep. I miss the gentle kisses before a good night sleep. While I miss these things a great deal, I have decided to not rush into anything with anyone. While some of the physical intimacy could be found, and probably more, I have decided to listen to the voice in my head that is God telling me to wait. The sins of the flesh have a strong pull, but choosing God will undoubtedly be the better path to travel. We can wonder which way to go, but when we pray about it, and when we take our time, be patient, and trust in the Lord the way will be made clear. We must understand that not every answer or every path will come as quickly or decisively as we’d like. We may not get a giant neon sign flashing which way to go, but if we are in scripture, and we are studying, and we are making decisions based on biblical teaching, the decisions we make should be easier.

 

Having faith in the midst of trouble can be difficult, but no matter what the case may be, we must have faith, have trust, have patience, and be deliberate in our walk with Christ. Trials will come in our life, but every trial is an opportunity to show those around you what walking with Jesus looks like. We are representatives of God’s love and grace, and that comes with a measure of responsibility. Our God is gracious, loving, giving, faithful, trustworthy, and great beyond any measure of human comprehension. Which way do you go? That’s easy, go towards Jesus and never stop. In every decision be intentional and don’t loose sight of our Heavenly Father. He will never leave nor forsake you, so never give up hope. Our way will never end well, but God’s way is always the best way to go. God’s way may not be the easiest way, but it’s the right way. Doing what’s right isn’t always the easiest, but it’s better to make the hard choice to do the right thing, then to forsake your morals and do the easy wrong.

Hands Off, Verses Hands On

Hands Off, Verses Hands On

Dealing with change can be difficult. My new job is very different from what I’m used too and is very hands off. I’ve gone from wearing a duty belt for nearly 7 years to nothing on the belt, no clips, no flashlight, nothing. Even medical response is no longer a job for security. While I’m struggling to get used to the new status quo and forget everything I’ve learned over the years I’ve been in security, I am not opposed to learning a new job.

We often wonder if God is a hands on or hands off God. Does he meddle in everything, even the little stuff? Is he more of an observer that watches the stupidity of man? While we do believe miracles come from above, and all good things are gifts from the heavens, we don’t truly know the extent of God’s involvement. Free will plays a big role in our paths, decisions choices, ideals and goals. We decide what kind of person we will be. Do we want to be hands on or hands off Christian?

Growing up, I found myself wishing someone would come to my rescue, to save me from the hands of just one of the many bullies I ran from. I recently watched an episode of Young Sheldon where Sheldon is facing being bullied. He considered himself prey and I found this a very interesting analogy for the bullies and the bullied. As we grow in our Christian faith do we actually change positions? We often watch and stand idly by as injustice springs up all around us. We watch poverty stricken families to suffer and say, ‘that’s a shame what happened.’ We rarely offer help or substance in our condolences. We watch as the Devil pounces on people or families, destroying everything they have, and we do nothing. We as Christians were supposed to help the poor, help those underpaid, or underworked. We as Christians were supposed to help the single mothers, help the widows, and the widowers, but now we stand by and watch the suffering through the window but never lend a helping hand.

When we ourselves are the ones that have become pray for the Devil. Do we actually stand up for ourselves or do we roll over and play possum hoping for the Devil to pass over us? Do we sit back and wait for someone to save us, or do we get our hands dirty and attempt to climb out of the hole we find ourselves in. We cannot expect someone to come to our rescue, instead we must call upon the one true savior to free us from our trials. We must worship and pray earnestly, and put our hands in the mud, and boots on the ground and work to free ourselves. When I was in the military one of the things we learned about being held captive was to never stop trying to escape. We were ordered to never give up hope and never ever quit. We as Christians often give up hope that change will come. We sit back and wait for God to fix our situation but we do nothing to change it ourselves. We expect someone else to do the work for us just because we’ve prayed about it. We cannot sit by and expect the world to change if we are not willing to make the change ourselves.

I don’t know about sitting back and taking a hands off approach in my job regarding some of the ideals they have about security. For now I will pray about it, and I will consider both sides, but when the time comes, I hope to do what’s right before God, and let the chips fall wherever they may land. Doing what’s right isn’t always following the rules. We answer to God first, and then to the laws of man. We must be willing to do what’s wrong before man, to live and be judged by God. We must not turn our backs on those in need, and we must not turn our backs on the Lord. We must remain faithful no matter the pain we face. We wait on the Lord as we move and we must be bold in our obedience to the Lord. Wait for grace because the Father loves us. We must worship while we wait, but never stop moving. Keep running towards the Lord and don’t let the world stand in your way. Your heart can be deceived, and we can fall to the lies of this world, and we must trust in the Lord. Serve the Lord, serve your community, and never stop fighting the battles that will come. Life is about getting your hands dirty. Life is about taking the fight to the Devil and don’t sit back and wait for the fire to break out. Life isn’t fireproof, but you never ever leave your wingman. Jesus Christ is our wingman in this fight against sin. We can always count on the Lord to be by our side, but we have to want to work with Jesus not against. We must want to serve as humbly as we can. We will get hurt along the way, but we can be healed through Christ. We will see pain and suffering from others and we should be willing to rush into the fire and help whenever we can.

We are children of the King and thus comes with responsibilities to our brothers and sisters. We must consider that God is there for us, but are we open to being there for others being God’s hands and feet. When we preach the word we let the Holy Spirit work through us, so why do we turn our eyes away from those in suffering. We must be different, we must be better, because the world will only change if we work to change it. We must represent our Heavenly father to the best of our ability and never stop working to better yourself, and help better those around you. Don’t be a hands off Christian, no, get your hands dirty in works for the Lord. Rise above the world, rise above the troubles of our own life, and be willing to serve, stop expecting to be served. We may hurt, but we can heal. When we offer ourselves as a servant, we will understand what it means to live in Christ, at least a little.

Sleep Deprived

Sleep Deprived

I cannot stand on my own two feet.

I fall to my knees and raise my hands.

I cannot see through my tears but I know you’re there.

I struggle to see myself the way you do.

I believe because I’ve felt.

I trust because I believe.

I have hope because I know.

I ain’t the same as I was yesterday.

 

I have wondered lately where I’m going, and if my new path is the right one. I have prayed about it, and even then, I’ve not found the answer to my prayer. I’ve been so tired I can’t concentrate completely. I have felt doubt about myself in my ability to work, in my personal life on many fronts, and my place in this world. The things that have been said to me this week have left me wondering much about myself. I’ve never thought of myself as selfish, and yet, to be called selfish by someone so close to me and so special to me, hurts me deeply. I don’t have many male roll models and for one that I look up to yell at me that I’m a selfish person, hurts. I cannot seem to get beyond the things said to me, and especially after all this time I felt like I had been growing, now I question if that’s true. What if I’ve been wrong about myself? I guess, what I’m saying is even the strongest of us needs prayers some times. So today, I shall take a step back and ask for those prayers. Pray for me that I find the wisdom in those around me. Find the path that God has for me. Pray for the strength to fight the spiritual warfare and come out believing in myself.

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Today…. Today I don’t feel like a hero. Today I don’t feel like a winner. Today I find myself broken, and downtrodden. Today, I find myself in need and reaching out. Today I feel like I have failed and that I have achieved nothing. Today, I feel as if I’ve failed God. Today I feel as if I’ve failed my friends. Today I feel like my faith is shaken, and I don’t know how to find it. I read the words, and I say the prayers, but as I hold back my tears, I find myself loosing myself in despair. Today, my faith needs more faith. Today, I find myself hurt and low. Today, I feel like I’m standing still and if I move I’ll shatter, and I won’t be put back together again. Today my heart’s in pieces.