Accused and Apathy

Accused and Apathy:

Recently I was accused of being a bad friend. I was accused of not being a good Christian man. If we’re honest about the good and bad in life I will say I am human and I will always fall short. Now, that being said I will always admit to my mistakes, but these recent accusations were completely and utterly unfounded. People often say things under the umbrella of emotions and when they do there’s really no telling what may come out.

Often when the truth is uttered those who hear and feel a conviction will lash out in anger. They are not slow to speak and they cause destruction left behind after the sound waves of their voice subsides. The wicked tongue is plentiful today. It’s all around us in the music we listen to on the radio, the movies and TV shows we watch, and even the voices heard in our very homes. Proverbs 21:23“Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.” No one seems to care anymore that communication is slowly dying. I’ve watched as excuse after excuse comes across my phone screen as to why a message was ignored for days, weeks, and sometimes longer. I’ve gotten every manner of excuses and while some are absolutely legitimate others are not. My biggest frustration is when I get the simple excuse I’ve just been busy. This verbiage, busy, doesn’t usually mean busy, it means ‘you weren’t a priority.’ Thus the excuse given really comes from a place of apathy. For those of you who don’t know what that means, I’ll give you the definition, Apathy: lack of interest, enthusiasm, or concern. There was no concern on how someone would feel being left hanging, dangling there for weeks before a response was finally given, and that response never actually held an apology. See, what most people fail to realize is just as dangerous as the tongue is, as it’s probably the most dangerous weapon on the planet, it has the power to build, or destroy. Matthew 15:11“It is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth; this defiles a person.”

I have a good friend who has a few kids. He has often told me about his policy with the kids, the punishment for wrong doing will be equal to the crime, but the punishment for a lie on top of the crime, much more severe. This makes sense because we as Christians know we will make mistakes. We know that it’s not about if we screw up but when. The thing with those mistakes is using the tongue along with actions to try and make amends for that mistake. So many people are afraid to stand up and speak the truth, but more are perfectly content living in a world where they never have to face the consequences of their actions. So many now lash out, out of anger and never fully see the ramifications of those words because now everything is done over non-verbal, or vocal communications. People now are so quick to anger, so quick to shoot off a ill thought out text that things are said without thought, and likewise in that anger it’s so easy to hit a couple buttons and poof, that persons gone from your life. People in droves make rash, hurtful remarks and then run away before any defense can be made, thus destroying the very foundation of friendships, and relationships. Proverbs 12:18“There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”

Proverbs 18:21“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” When we consider the power of the tongue and what we say, how it affects people in our life, we hold such power just a few inches from our brains. Many have little concern now about who they hurt, what they say, or why. On top of a lack of caring how our words affect people, the effect goes far beyond just what we say. A general apathy has sprung up in people all over the world. Since we have gotten to the point now where we don’t care what we say, how we say it, the other side of that coin is we don’t truly care about others. I’ve been in the online dating world for quite some time now, and I have noted on multiple occasions in the last 24 months that people just stopped caring about anyone but themselves. There’s no thought to the curtsey given to how we treat people. We ignore messages, we lie about the excuses to cause long delays in communications, and that’s if communication doesn’t stop abruptly without warning. I’ve always prided myself as being a very understanding person. I’ve watched people do horrible things that affected me and it wasn’t the mistake that hurt the most, it was lying to me about it. If someone doesn’t have the desire to have fluid communication often, a simple text to inform me of that would go a long way. James 3:10“From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so.” When will we finally realize how our words and actions affect other people?

Something I’ve often wondered is when we are quick to anger and that anger leads to a wicked tongue, how then can that very same person say to the accused “You’re not a Christian man?” I have pondered this very thing for a little while now, and as I’ve gone back over conversations for a long while involving many people, I have come to a sad realization; the term Christian is perhaps the worst Apathy of all. How many Christians or self proclaimed Christians are there all over the world? How many of them would say, “I’m Christian, but it’s not important.”? How many would say they are Christian on Christmas, Easter, and maybe one or two sprinkled in the rest of the year? We see less then 19% of Christians now are involved Christians meaning, fewer then 19% open and read there Bibles more then 3 times a week, most far less if ever. How can someone stand there and pass judgment about doing nothing but stating facts, with no emotional bias, even if those facts don’t show someone in an appealing light? The answer is convictions. When we are confronted with our own shortcomings and we become angry we say and do things that are within its very nature, Sinful. We live in a world where truth is something convenient we don’t like to face.

We’ve become so consumed with self that we have such a deep apathy for other people. We don’t care how we hurt someone, or why. We don’t care to lead someone along only to drop them from the side of the cliff. Apathy my friends is a disease that is plaguing our society. The invention of texts, and online dating have created a gap in the human condition that now allows people to do what they wish and never having to see the fallout from their actions. Being accused recently of being a bad Christian, and treating my friends badly, is obviously coming from someone who is hurting badly themselves. Truth however, no matter how painful is always the best way to go. The truth is, people can be cruel, and manipulative and hold nothing but apathy for you. All we can do is love, pray, and continue to lean on God’s word the best we can. We are people and we will make mistakes. People always need to be forgiven for their trespasses, and thus we must always ask for forgiveness of our trespasses. Never loose sight of the hope that springs in the horizon every day. We may be accused but our accusers who flee before a defense do not seek answers or retribution. Those who spit venom and run away are nothing shy of cowards. Those who hide behind technology afraid to face their own fallout are cowards. Do not worry yourself with these types of people, no, I say to you my brothers and sisters, forever pray that God opens their eyes to see, warms their hearts to feel, and blesses their souls with empathy and love. Are you the sword or just a poor reflection? Don’t loose hope for, while God is still sovereign over all, there will always be hope.

 

 

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Change of Plans

Change of Plans

 People keep asking me what my plans for the future are. Now that everything in my life has fallen to pieces, the time has come to come up with a new plan. What do we do though when life doesn’t go according to our own ideas? The case can be made that since we are just pieces on the board we cannot see the whole board. The day may come when the strength of this man may fail, but I will not allow failure for as long as I draw breath, or at least that’s my plan.

God however has a different perspective. Proverbs 16:9 “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” We take our life one step at a time, one small journey or adventure at a time. I often feel as if I am wondering in the woods alone and lost. As time ticks away I have to remind myself that I am not in control, and I must ask for guidance, ask for help, seek wise counsel. The fear that comes knowing we are not to be in command of our own destiny, but the Lord above has all the power.

Lately that worry and concern seems to have consumed my everyday waking thought. I have been left with the difficult task to force myself to trust in God. The constant undertaking to believe in the plan that I myself cannot see, is hard to say the least. The end may come, but we will never be alone. Lost we may feel, but truly we are not.

Someone asked me once how God could allow so much bad to happen in this world. Why children who’ve not yet grown should die early in life. The impact of one life can change the course of a life beyond our understanding, beyond our wildest dreams. One stone may not change the course of the river, but that same stone on a narrow wooded path can change ones footing, and that could change a great deal in that regard.

My goals in life where to get married and have kids to carry on my family name and blood, but as I am now older each major step in that direction has failed, I sadly question the why. I have lost two great loves in my life, and now as the change affects me more and more every day, I wonder what is the next step for me. As this blog has been a major outlet for me, and an outreach to others, I pray that I can continue to reach others in Christ’s name. We are but pieces on the board, but what piece are we? Look at some of the greatest most influential people in history, I am sure growing up they had no idea how important they would be in history.

We cannot judge our own importance because we ourselves are too close to fully understand our worth. The plans we have for ourselves are always going to change, they are always going to adapt, and sometimes we just need to let go of the reins and let God handle the details. The amount of faith it takes to uproot and move across the country, across the world, is great. Sometimes it’s necessary to do so without a plan, without a long-term objective, but that’s what faith is sometimes. A blind leap and pray that God will catch you before you hit the bottom. Proverbs 19:21 “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.” The final word I give to you is that of Philippians 4:6-7 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”