Don’t Waste your Kindness
What kind of person are you? Lets take a look and let’s be honest and promise not to lie to one another. When we truly evaluate ourselves and how we treat others, do we truly fall on the side of light or dark? I’ve been told I’m overly forgiving. This isn’t exactly a bad trait, but when you allow someone to take advantage then a healthy line should be dawn. I’ve been told I’m to empathetic. I often give people chance after chance to come in and out of my life, but sadly I’m the one who always ends up hurt. I fail miserably in drawing healthy boundaries in the sand. I allow people to walk all over me and I often find myself wondering why me? This can lead to a hardening of your heart if you aren’t careful. Because of the constant painful experiences, and constant loss in the last year, I’ve questioned my policies, and my place in this world.
Philippians 2:3 [Let] nothing [be done] through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. We must remember to remain true to our walk with God. We must remember that we are to lift up with the tongue never to tear down. We are commanded to Love and love everyone. 1 John 4:8 “Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.” We must remember this that loving is a choice. I’m not talking about when you fall in love for someone and you love them romantically, I’m talking about loving in the love of all men/women. We have to keep the love in our hearts, and be empathetic and sympathetic to those in need. Ephesians 4:2 “2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love,” Having patience is a command, not a request. Knowing to be patient with people because people are human, and we are all full of Sin, and we are all going to make mistakes. Those mistakes are to be forgiven and we are to love the sinner. No matter the hurt we have a choice to make. How do we treat others, and how do we help those around us fall? Do we berate them? Do we abandon them? Do we help them in their time of need?
1 John 3:16-18 “16 By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. 17 But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? 18 Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.” We must remember to be there for those in need. We have to resist putting ourselves in harms way, but we must put ourselves out there. It’s a fine line and we have to keep our heads high. While everyone deserves a second chance because at any time during someone’s life they can turn around, we must pray and have hope. Everyone deserves kindness, everyone deserves to be loved and to have someone listen when they are in need.
My suggestion would be to find a balance between enabling someone and helping someone who genuinely needs it. I myself admit I’m easily taken advantage of. I become much less aware when I am going through hard times, or when I’m lonely, but in those times I seek attention and I often find the wrong type. I allow people to treat me badly over and over again because I feel I should look at the good they can be instead of seeing the vial they are being. I have to work on this, and I am working on finding healthier ways to interact with others. I cannot watch as friends come and go as they please so long as something’s in it for them. As I have watched many of my so-called friends leave in the last year and some change, I have come to realize that some people are only in a friendship so long as they get something out of it. Some people will come around and smile, and play nice because they want you for a particular reason, and once the status quo changes, they will leave. I have seen fair weather friends come and go and as it’s heart breaking. I know I need to draw a healthier boundary with people I come into contact with, and above all else, I think I need to not be so invested in others. I give my heart and I get crushed. I’ve been taking it personally, and there’s been a mixed opinion if I should or not, but I feel like I do. Don’t harden your heart to never be kind to others, just make sure that you are kind to everyone, but be cautious who you invest more then just kind words with.
The Arrow Preacher 