Am I pretty?
Have you been judged by the way you look? Most of my life I have been judged by my looks and I’ve struggled to make peace with the horrible experiences I’ve had. No matter how much I change my look, change my approach, I have been left with a simple truth, it’s not God’s plan. I have struggled making that peace, and when I look in the mirror I don’t see the man I once knew. Just over two years ago, I looked in the mirror and saw a husband with a beautiful wife, and I knew we weren’t perfect, but I was happy. I allowed myself to break and crumble and as I have put myself back together it’s a fractured mirror. Recovery takes time and one of my biggest failings is caring so much about what other people think of me. I have allowed people to dictate my value, and I know that me believing in that is believing the lies Satan is feeding me. The hard part is not knowing they are lies, it’s being able to change my perception. Of course when we are met with questions in life the only true way to find answers is to go to scripture.
Although this message was for wives I believe men can also learn from it. 1Peter 3:3-4“3 Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— 4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the [a]incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.” We must focus on the inward appearance and ensure that we are beautiful people in spirit and personality. We must trust and have faith that God will one day put the right person in our path to accept us who we are. Relationships aren’t about changing someone; they are about accepting someone for who they are, faults and all. When you’re in the right relationship you will naturally become your best self.
It’s not easy when you’re rejected because no one likes to feel unwanted. In the last several months I have begun talking with people who rejection seems to be all they know. One thing I’ve been learning about ministry is your message is best received from those whom you can relate. After two affairs, and two years of non-stop rejections, I find I am being placed on a path where I have yet to learn the object of the lesson. I firmly believe that if you are experiencing the same thing over and over again it’s either, you’re making the same mistakes, or, God’s trying to teach you a lesson. I’m reminded of an episode of Arrow. Oliver Queen is trying to teach his new recruits on object lesson and the object is to learn the object of the lesson. In life we must understand that for every situation we encounter a lesson can be learned. Something can be taken away and used in every instance. Nothing in our lives should be wasted.
No matter what the world tells you, you are beautifully created. External beauty is in the eye of the beholder and you will be beautiful to someone. Don’t allow your identity to be defined by others. God has made you, and God doesn’t want us to be alone. Someone is out there for each of us. We need to make sure we are living in the will of God, and when the time is right, and we are actively serving God, good things will happen. I know I struggle with patience and I absolutely hate being single, but I know that God is working things out for me. I know I need to ignore the rejections, and the never-ending lonely nights. I need to ignore those who feel the need to ghost people, and those who are selfish and shallow. I need to accept who I am, and who God has made me to be. I cannot change it so much like the serenity prayer“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.”
The Arrow Preacher 