Making A Plan

Making A Plan

All my life I had a plan, I knew how the plan was going to go, I knew how my life was going to unfold, and I knew how to execute the plan. Well, a day before I graduated high school the plan fell apart. ‘The defense department regrets to inform you that you have be found ineligible for the selection into the United States Marine Corps. “ Well, there went my plan. I was so certain I would make it into the Armed Services I barely spent any time on my college testing, and I had only applied to two universities. Both of which I was accepted to, though, I hadn’t planned for how I was going to pay for college. So my plan flew off the rails before it even got going. After a year of moving around a bit, I got a job but wasn’t satisfied with life. I was terrified of college and failing so I ran away from that as fast as I could. It was just by pure coincidence (if there is such a thing) that I ran into an Air Force recruiter in the store. I had talked to him about my denial letter and re suggested I reapply. A few months later I moved back home to live with my Grandfather, and I talked to my local recruiter. Everything was looking good, the process was going along smoothly, and away to MEPS I went. Something was wrong though. I didn’t feel the choices in the Air Force fit my personality and my drive. When I got back from MEPS my recruiter wasn’t there at the recruiting station. I was really upset by that, and I stormed into the Army recruiting office and started talking to them. Within 10 minutes I was headed home with a list of Army jobs, and a slew of information. I had at least 13 jobs circled for further review within the 15-minute drive home. This looked promising I said to myself. I went to MEPS again for the final time before I would ship out, the rest of my testing was done; the job selection process came up. Cavalry Scout was the dream job. There was only 1 slot open so we had to write an essay between two of us candidates. Mine was chosen and I advanced to get a ship date, 6-month wait.

For the next 6 months I would train, and I would enjoy the time I had left with close friends. I would be headed to Fort Knox for one station unit training, and while I was there I would get my duty station. I had signed up for a 1-year hardship in Korea. I figured, if I was going to go to war at least I could have some training in the Army first. During basic I was doing well, I was getting faster, stronger, and testing well. I was moving along to graduate then all of a sudden I ended up with MERSA and I was hospitalized for 4 days. I missed out on vital training, so instead of graduating with my class, I would be recycled through to the next class to graduate. This hit me like a ton of bricks. The plan wasn’t cooperating. I would graduate 6 weeks later then planned. I went to Korea and placed in my unit up at Camp Casey. 1 year in Korea wasn’t going to be so bad. I had a plan, and if I liked it I might even stay one more year after that. Except the plan wasn’t going to cooperate again. We as a unit were being removed from Korea, sent to Iraq and our new home location would be determined while we were in theater. I choose Korea because hardship duty stations didn’t deploy to other combat zones, or they hadn’t in almost 50 years. All that time and effort I spent getting away from the war for a little while just vanished in front of me.

While in country I would get hurt (non combat related) I would loose friends (combat related) and I would endure hardships. I would get home and try my best to keep making plans. Relationships wouldn’t go to plan, I would end up having surgery on my knee, I would get married, then get out of the military ahead of schedule. I moved, and then moved to Europe as a civilian military spouse. I would loose that marriage to an affair. I met a wonderful woman, eventually would marry her and then in time watch as my life was torn apart by yet another grisly affair.

So, that’s pretty much the last 15 years. I look back and I snicker at how well my best laid plans would work. I heard a quote just a couple weeks ago Make the plan, Execute the plan, Expect the plan to go off the rails, Throw away the plan.” (The Flash) That statement couldn’t be truer. What does God think of our plans? Well, funny you should ask, Proverbs 15:22 “Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.” As we all know, even as much as we may want something, that doesn’t mean that’s what God has planned for us. Amos 3:7 “For the Lord God does nothing without revealing his secret to his servants the prophets.” Since we haven’t seen any prophets in a long time, it’s safe to say we often fly blind. Another saying to laugh about is “Tell God your plans and watch Him laugh.”

Living by following the cross, and doing our very best to listen to what God has planned for us is the closest we have to knowing plans will even partially work. When God closes a door we have a hard time understanding why, we have a hard time accepting no as an answer. For some it’s not a no, it’s just a not yet, but for others, their fate is down a different rabbit hole. We all know that the best-laid plan is to follow Christ. Read the scripture and the lessons left for us to follow and you can’t go wrong. Not all our plans are meant to work, some are because of our own doing, and some will fail because of others. The path your on doesn’t actually end, it just splits. It’s up to all of us to choose the path we feel lines closest to what God wants for us. James 4:13-17 “Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil. If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.”

I’ll leave you with this story as a close. August 2012, just three months before I was scheduled to be married I was out with my girlfriend and her father. She had just got a new Smith & Wesson Bodyguard semi automatic pistol. It’s a little .380 about the size of my hand. We’d been out shooting for a little while and I opted to shoot last. I was testing out the built in laser and I went to a knee to see how accurate it was. I held the gun steady and I squeezed the trigger. It jumped like no tomorrow as I felt a huge wave of air on my face. It felt like a book had been waved in front of my face, then hit me. I went to stand up, but I couldn’t see completely. My face was red hot, and I could feel the warm hot liquid poor from my face. I could feel it on my hand when I touched my face, and it was at that moment I realized I was in need of help. I turned around and dropped to a knee. We would later find the bullet casing had exploded in the chamber. It buckled the guns plastic, and peppered my eye protection with bits of shrapnel. Sadly my glasses didn’t protect my entire face and my cheek, nose, and forehead weren’t so lucky. My vision was saved due to the glasses, but to this day a piece of shrapnel still remains in my right cheek as the surgeon was unable to remove the tiny fragment in fear of doing more harm then good. Every day we went shooting we always planned and executed safety as best we could. On this particular day it happened to be, I was doing what I was supposed to, I wore what I was supposed to, but I was still injured. Thankfully the shrapnel wasn’t lower and it didn’t go through the artery in my neck. Even the best laid, most carefully thought out plans can quickly go to all Hades. Just remember that sometimes, when our plans go off the rails THAT may be part of the bigger plan after all.

Lift up Don’t Tear Down

Lift up Don’t Tear Down

Brothers and sisters in Christ we have a commandment we often fall short on. John 13:34-35“34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. 35 By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” I have been listening to a song lately I know was not meant to be a Christian song, but I hear it as such. God Gave Me You, the version I have is Dave Barnes. “God Gave me you for the ups and downs.” When I think of who that is I think of Christ. I know that Christ above all else is there for me no matter what situation I’m in, where I am, or how far off the path I’ve gotten. Something I’ve struggled with as of late is how individuals have been treating me. I have had several friends turn their backs on me, and walk away for one reason or another. I have put a lot of thought and self-reflection as to why that might be. I often think back to Job. As Job looses everything one by one he asks his good buddies to come over to his house. We all want to be around people to just lean on when things are tough. We expect our friends to help us bare our crosses, help us get through. When you’re single you expect your friends to get you out of the house. When you’re grieving for the loss of loved ones you expect your friends to be there as a shoulder to cry on. We expect people to be there for us not just because we feel it’s the right thing to do, but it’s actually what they are supposed to do. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 “Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do.” Why is this so difficult for some to do?

I know a doctor trained in Dialectible Behavior Therapy, and I asked why as a people do we focus so much on the negative rather then the positive. The answer was fairly straight forward, she said, our brains have a natural response to negative because that’s what keeps us alive. The negative actions stand out because it goes against the grain. Driving along going home you pass by a dozen cars doing the right thing, but then a car cuts you off. You won’t remember the 12 cars doing the right thing, that 1 car however will be what stands out. The more I thought about what she said the more it made sense.

I have been using Facebook lately to spread the word of this blog. I post once or twice a day, and as I have felt my blog has been doing well, I’ve noticed amongst my Facebook friends it’s not really picked up. I went about 2 months without posting anything except the auto post of my blog. I had a rough day and I posted something about manners, how some people will just leave you high and dry and how rude I felt that was. My page exploded with angry posts about how people are busy, and I shouldn’t be shaming my friends, and how I should keep those types of posts to myself. I was in shock to see such feedback. I post some beautiful pieces of writing, highly uplifting, and scripturally based, and I don’t get more then maybe 1 thumb up 4-5 if I’m truly lucky. Of all things to get noticed this one factual and understandable frustration gets all the attention. I thought to myself, what about everything else I’ve done? The fact is that it matters to the people who read it, and those who don’t see only what they want to see.

Love is harder then hate. Thinking positive is harder then negative, and those who do think positive have to work harder. If it’s true that our brains are naturally wired to focus on the negative things for whatever reason, being negative is the easy way out. Learning to focus on God, and do Gods will is a difficult road. As many of my so called friends have abandoned ship, I find it interesting that they do so when I fully devote my life to Jesus. It seems my life is going through a process of cleansing, weeding out those who are of little use to my ministry. The ones left in my life will be the ones who’ve helped me bare my cross when it was too heavy to carry. We must learn to walk with patience and love for our brothers and sisters who’ve yet to realize the true power of the Holy Spirit. The Cross is heavy for us all to bare and for some the cross can be so heavy we collapse under the weight of it. We have to have more patience with our loved ones, and understand that how we treat someone when they are going through a hard time is going to be remembered. How do you want to be treated with your life is in shambles? Make the choice to lift up your neighbors and help them in their time of need. No they may not take your advice, but if you just offer an ear, just be there to let them know you care, that itself will go a long way. We aren’t always there to fix their problems, often just to be a listening post, and a shoulder. Be kind because it only takes a moment without hope to watch the candle be extinguished. Remind people by your actions that good people still exist. Remind them that love is still stronger then hate. And if you ever have a problem you just can’t carry, lean on me.

Finding Happiness

Finding Happiness

This seems to be a pursuit that most people are on for the vast majority of their lives. It’s strange how hard it is. We often look for happiness in items, in trinkets or people. I have always struggled with this aspect of my life. Even when I have everything I could ever need, I am always looking towards the horizon. I guess a part of me always felt to be happy meant to be improving my situation, making more friends, finding more people to talk to, always building my marriage. I guess I could have been considered to be Debby Downer for at least a good portion of the time. What is it I was seeking I wonder, what was it that kept me looking for more? The truth is there was something missing in my life, Jesus. When I realized I hadn’t given myself up to the Lord, not completely, by the time I did it was too late, my life, as I had known it was over. I put so much into my worldly possessions, my wife, my home, my job, and my friends, that in one big event, my very foundation cracked and toppled my own personal city. The changes in my life would be abrupt and violent. They would reshape my personal universe and it would never be the same again.

What’s the trick though to finding that happy place? In Peter Pan it’s finding a happy memory, one memory that stands out of pure joy to hold on to. Even in the midst of so much pain and anguish we are surely able to come up with something. One thing I’ve found is we place so much on the world, that we forget this isn’t the end. Sure we don’t want to be miserable day in and day out either, but it’s more about the mission, the journey, the race, then it is about today. When we change our mindset to the present, the mission Jesus gave to us, and we take heed to the lessons Christ taught us and the teaching of the disciples, we will find that happiness is rejoicing in the Lord and the Lord alone. There will be trouble but in that trouble we can use those times to show the kind of person we are. We can make those horrible situations into a teaching lesson for others, and show how God wants us to behave even when the odds are stacked against us, even when their looks to be no worldly hope, because to say there’s no hope is a lie. There were many times when King David had the odds stacked against him, but it was through the grace of God that he emerged victorious. Philippians 4:6-7 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” It’s not an easy thing to be content when you’re in suffering. It’s harder to find happiness in the midst of want and destruction. Philippians 4:11 “Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.” Human nature is to want and want more, want what we can’t have, and often take what we want even if it’s not ours to have.

2 Timothy 3:1-7 “3 But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people. For among them are those who creep into households and capture weak women, burdened with sins and led astray by various passions, always learning and never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth.” When we go through life taking what we want no matter the consequences we find ourselves destroying the very fabric of order in the world. I was recently the victim of something like this. With no limit to the amount of pain one feels when something near and dear to them is taken away, alas the pain is more when it’s done so by more then one party. The sad truth is greed and desires of the worldly flesh now resonate with the world. Paul Harvey did a report on ‘If I was the Devil.” During this little expo he noted that if he was the Devil he’d convince the world that drugs are okay, that swinging is more fun, that hard work is no longer the wave of the future.

I think the pursuit of happiness falls within each moment. I believe that to truly find it you need to learn to change your mindset away from the pain and suffering and embrace them. How we embrace our pain is hard. How we find contentment even in the center of the worst storms we may face is never an easy task. For every situation however there must be at least something that is positive, there must be at least some light at the end of the tunnel. We often spend so much time focused on the negative part of a tough spot that we fail to look at the positive situations and be thankful for them. For me this has been a long hard struggle and I am by no means perfect at this, but everyday I try to work towards this goal. Am I happy every day and do I find joy in my sufferings, of course not. But what I do find is a little bit of peace knowing that God is in control over everything I am going through, and when others hurt me, or forsake me, I know that God has not. People will say and do mean things to you for a variety of reasons, each more plausible as the next. As much as it hurts that trust and loyalty may be broken, know that through this situation you will learn, you will grow, and you can make your tomorrow a better place. When a forest grows to big purging fires must take place in order for the forest to grow back and regain some of what was lost. Our lives it seems are much in the same. Sometimes we must let go of the baggage that weighs us down. We must learn to let go of people who are always bringing us down. Now, I will say this, when I say bringing us down, I don’t mean people who are going through rough times. What I mean by that is when people actively say things to you to bring you down, or are negative and hurtful. If someone is not actively trying to be there for you, to lift you up, to help you get out of the hole you’re in, those are the people you don’t need around anymore.

Don’t fall victim to your own pain, don’t let your pain or your own struggles from finding the happy places in your life. When we truly embrace and accept that bad things will happen, and truly embrace the fact that God is sovereign we can let go of many of the pessimistic views we once held. We all loose friends, we all loose our jobs, our families, our loved ones; it’s a matter of life following its natural evolution. Be glad for the positive things you can take out of your memories, and cast away the sorrows. Don’t let life pass you by in misery; it’s too short to do so. Don’t be a slave to this world. Don’t let the world dictate who you are. The world cannot define you, only you can do that. You have the power to show the people around you how you handle each situation, and in every case you are the only one who can show who you are. As one of my favorite quotes go, “It’s not who I am underneath, it’s what I do that defines me.” (Batman Begins)

 

When The Sun Sets, Resetting for Tomorrow

When The Sun Sets, Resetting for Tomorrow

Have you ever sat and watched a sunset? How does the sun setting make you feel? I have always loved it because of the colors it creates on the clouds, watching it change almost every minute. The sight of the stars coming out, the moon shining, the vastness of the night sky reminds me of how vast God is, and how small we really are. When I say small I don’t mean insignificant. I have come to realize that every life is extremely valuable and significant. There is so much to be thankful for by the end of every day. Even when we’ve had a horrible day the blessings that continue to flow through our path is immeasurable.

I’m sure you’ve all heard the saying ‘never go to bed angry.’ That’s great advice. Usually when we go to bed angry we sleep horribly. There is merit to the thought process of not doing this. There are a few things to keep in mind. First, what is there to be gained by continuing the fight with whoever you’re arguing with? Second, is the argument something you’d argue with yourself? Lets start with the 2nd one. If you are with someone and you argue, and yell and scream you’re really only hurting yourself. The Devil wants to create a wedge in your happiness and when you cannot have a reasonable conversation anymore you’ve gotten to the point where you are not just hurting yourself, but your significant other, and God. When you marry you become one flesh. You must remember how important it is to be that united body under God. Now onto the 1st point, negotiation is a lost art it seems. Why do we not learn to negotiate and compromise earlier in a fight? Why do we not find a way to prevent the argument from occurring in the first place? People will always disagree that’s the nature of individuality and opinions, but that doesn’t mean arguments can’t be avoided. We need to remember that God brings us together to better ourselves.

What about when we are having a bad day, a string of bad luck, we feel like we can’t just catch a break? Life isn’t a video game, there’s not reset button, there’s no saving and picking it up later, but what we do have is sleep, rest, and a new day. What a crazy idea it would be if we could actually let go of our troubles, and start the next day with a fresh perspective, a fresh start, and actually allowing yourself to actually hit the reset button. Really, it’s not so far fetched. If we learn to pray and meditate every night before bed when we pray for peace, pray for wisdom, and pray for the answers to whatever situation you find yourself in. No matter the situation we can use a few simple tools on our tool belt. First, allow yourself to decide what mindset you’re in. Are you in wise mind, or emotion mind? We can often find ourselves in a predicament where we are stuck. We’ve lost the ability to rationalize and be more self aware of the feelings and emotions that are activated in our times of stress. Learning to radically accept, changing your mindset, negotiating, compromising, and in general learn how to be reasonable without passing harmful judgments, time and again making things worse.

The new day gives us a ability to attack a problem differently. The new day gives us a fresh start and when we trust in the Lord to take away or lighten our load nothing is too difficult for our God. 2 Corinthians 4:16 “For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward [man] is renewed day by day.” We pray to God every night for renewed spirit and we shall have it. Luke 1:77-80 “77 To give knowledge of salvation unto his people by the remission of their sins, 78 Through the tender mercy of our God; whereby the dayspring from on high hath visited us, 79 To give light to them that sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace.” We must understand that every day we pray and we as for the Spirit to bless us, its just a matter of letting yourself have faith that God is in control. You may wake up in the morning and find yourself continuing to deal with the same situation you were when you went to bed. If the problem still persists try to change your perspective. Try to find the lesson you are to learn. Try to solve the problem using scripture, finding the solution God would be most pleased with. Allow your soul to catch fire with Christ. Allow yourself to embrace your cross with zeal. With every sun rise is a new page, a new chapter and since we never know what our future holds, why not try to embrace the sunrise and see where the wind takes you.

No matter the situation, the hardships, the horrors you may be facing in your life, there’s always hope. Proverbs 24:14 “Know that wisdom is such to your soul; if you find it, there will be a future, and your hope will not be cut off.” This sentiment is echoed again in Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. “ We may have troubles, but if Christ suffered during the crucifixion a little suffering on our own is nothing. 1 Corinthians 15:19 “If in Christ we have hope in this life only, we are of all people most to be pitied.” As Christians we know we will endure persecution and hardships. We know because we’re told we would time and time again throughout the New Testament. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18  “So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” This is not an easy thing to do, and it will take time to learn. Because Christ lives we know that we can overcome the toils of the world and reach for the sky every day. We can face tomorrow with fresh tenacity because our God says Christ died so we could live. With each new sunrise we have a fresh start to reach others, minister the word, preach the Gospel, and make the world a better place. Proverbs 27:1 “Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring.” When we take each day by it’s appropriate action we find that we put to much stock in our own plans. We try to plan every detail of our lives and how rarely are we correct. James 4:14 “Yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.”

In closing let the night wash away the mistakes of the day. Let the sleep and rest you find renew your spirit for the Lord. As the sun rises the next morning and wipes away the stars, so shall it wipe away your tears and worries. Have faith in the dawn, and have faith that in and through God all things remain possible.

 

 

The Search For a Unicorn

The Search For a Unicorn 

Have you ever considered what you may be looking for or hoping for just isn’t out there? Waiting it seems is a constant throughout the world, one that we all despise but all must learn to live with. Some of us do this with more flair then others, some of us do this poorly. What is it about waiting we don’t like. Speaking from experience I don’t like to wait for long. I think I have a bit longer then some, but far shorter fuse then others. I’m not as short as to say I am a part of the instant gratification group, but I don’t think I’m that far off either. I’ve heard a great many people tell me I need to be patient, I need to just give it time, I need to stop looking because when you stop that’s when what you will show up, when you least expect it too.

 

It’s been 8 months of healing, of recovery, of self-reflection, life reflection, and rebuilding. 8 months may not seem like a lot to some people, but to me it’s been an eternity. My particular situation has been of isolation (not entirely by choice) and loneliness. I have found that the quiet of the house isn’t as bad as it used to be. Early in the process I felt as if I would never again be happy, that I would never again see the light at the end of the tunnel, but as time moved on, and I continued to breathe, wake up in the morning, and go about my day to day responsibilities the loneliness became a bit more tolerable. Fast forward 8 months, and that forward momentum and progress seems to be slowing down. Now 8 months later as I’ve continued to improve myself, spending more time in my Bible, making new friends (albeit internet friends) I find myself struggling to find tangible friendships, or even, the ever elusive date.

 

Dating it seems has become something of a skilled endeavor. I was listening to K-Love the other day and they said that the number 1 way to meet new members of the opposite sex for dating was still the old fashioned way, through mutual friends. The number 2 way was now online dating. The online dating world isn’t news to me. As I found early on in my 8 month journey my friends in this instance weren’t likely to provide any fruit. So I turned to the online dating apps and as I am now moving into my 8 month mark, I can safely say I have very little to show for it. The results of 8 months’ worth of exploration has been a few online friends, but nothing that has led to dating. I have estimated sending out over a thousand messages of greetings over several dating platforms, and sadly have come up with the big bubkus. Why has it been so difficult to find even a single date? As I have continued to reflect on this I haven’t been able to come up with very many reasons, and most of the reasons aren’t looking too favorable for myself as far as self-esteem is concerned. Is it me? Is it my looks, or my approach? For the vast majority of my life, my looks have been something of a rough topic for me. All my years I was told I wasn’t handsome enough, and many have gone further to say I’m just plan ugly. While I don’t strictly think this is true, I have come to the mindset that I am not all that attractive in the grand scheme of things. This however doesn’t prevent me from trying. I have not reclused myself and given up hope. The next possibility is that God doesn’t want me to right now. As this line of thought brings up a dozen questions, the basic answer is, it doesn’t matter. God’s design is far beyond our understanding and thus the rest is just a formality.

 

I have put lots of thought into the last part of that and have questioned why God wouldn’t want me to date. Could it be that there hasn’t been 100% resolution between me and my ex? Could it be because where I’m living isn’t where I’m meant to be? Could it be that I am somehow not ready for something, someone else to come along? It seems my search for a companion, or even just a friend to go out and spend time with has become a hunt for the elusive unicorn. As I have now been the victim of, or rather the survivor of 2 horrible affairs leading to being treated horribly in divorce, I now question if the person out there for me is there, or some mysterious unicorn that I may spend a lifetime looking for.

 

There are several verses I consider when I think about the amount of time I’ve had to wait and it seems still have to wait. 2 Samuel 5:4 “David was thirty years old when he became king, and he reigned forty years.” David was promised the throne early in life. He waited nearly 20 years before God gave to him what was promised. Romans 12:12 “Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.” We struggle with this concept, especially in America because of everything we have to receive instant gratification. Romans 8:25 “But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.” No matter how long we wait, we must understand there is purpose to it. There is purpose to our waiting, to our suffering, to or tribulations, but in that we can always have faith that God will never forsake us, and God always hears our prayers and knows our suffering. Philippians 4:6 ”Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” We may think but God already knows what we want, knows our hearts, knows our desires, knows our suffering, and while that is true, the concept here is prayer. We must always pray, always keep that line of communication open with God. You may not always feel as if God is listening, but He is. We may not always hear our path, but no matter what we think or feel, God is right there next to us.

 

It’s a hard concept for sure, and one I myself have daily struggles with. When life is going well and it seems we have everything we want it’s easy to move along and forget about anything about our joy. It’s in our struggles we wish for more, we wish for the time of suffering to be as little as possible. Sure, no one likes to be miserable or hurting especially when it’s matters of the heart. The only thing we can do is keep trying, keep moving forward, and never allow the Devil to influence us to take the easy way out. Instant gratification is not the prescription for long term relief. In fact, that instant gratification will likely be the cause of more hardships later on in life. Keep moving forward, keep praying to God, and if you’re like me, if you’re lonely and you feel as if your loneliness will never go away, have faith, and someday your prince, or princess will come. Your unicorn may seem like a myth right now, but keep your ear to the ground, and your faith strong with Christ, and some day, your fairytale will come true.

Through the Wilderness

Through the Wilderness

We trek and we wander, but do we ever know what we are looking for, what we are hoping for? The life of a broken man the pains the suffering are only a part of the trials. A man of dignity will slow down and in times of trouble ask God for direction. A man will be calm in the storm, cool in the fire, strong when others are weak. A true man will be a leader when times call for it. The never-ending supply of love and guidance from God will always get the faithful through the toughest of situations.

In a lot of early tribes a boy was placed in the wilderness and tested to survive. This test of bravery, intuition, resourcefulness, and a will to survive is what they determined a man. Today, we no longer have these rights of passage. A boy turns 18 and poof, he’s a man. No test of bravery, of skills, just an age. Sadly today, we call a man, a man, but often, they don’t act like a man, but a boy instead.

Today a male will lay with a female and when she gets pregnant the boy will leaver her high and dry. Being able to make a child does not make you a man, taking care of your responsibilities, being a father to your child, that’s what makes you a man.

Sometimes bad things happen, and sometimes people make bad choices. Even when there is a difference of opinion, or a falling out, how you move forward how you behave in the day-to-day decisions will tell the world the type of people you are. I asked a friend yesterday in fact, “In our life, how often does someone view us as the villain in our story?” I find that to be an interesting conundrum. A matter of opinion, perspective can change how someone is viewed. I am of firm belief that when the majority sides with you you’re probably doing it right. What do we do when we are tested, when we are baited to stoop to someone’s level, how will we manage the temptation. It’s easy to let selfishness, greed, wants and self gratification take over and drive you from decision to decision.

I never imagined seeing the downward spiral so closely in my life. The evil deeds of someone can easily come about anytime. It’s a hard balance to know the monster from within can surface at any time. It’s so important to maintain a sense of dignity and Christian moral values in times of stress and distress. Proverbs 6:12-16 “A worthless person, a wicked man, goes about with crooked speech, winks with his eyes, signals with his feet, points with his finger, with perverted heart devises evil, continually sowing discord; therefore calamity will come upon him suddenly; in a moment he will be broken beyond healing. There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him:” God does not approve of evil or wicked actions. Ecclesiastes 12:14 “For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil.”

 Some day you and all will have to answer for your sins. Each and every thought, every action, will be accounted for at the Day of Judgment. When you are standing before God and you realize you’ve done wrong that is too late. You must repent prior to death. Acts 3:19 “Repent therefore, and turn again, that your sins may be blotted out,” No one is free from knowing their sins and doing the sinful nature anyway. “17 So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.” Time on earth is finite. We never know how long we have, but if we wait till our dying breath, saying you’re sorry isn’t the same as repenting. Repenting is actually changing behavior. One of my best friends and my Pastor put it this way, “Anyone can say they are sorry and mean it to a degree. Repentance is an action in which you take steps specifically to right the wrong that was committed to the best of your ability. I can say I’m sorry I broke your Arrow Funko Pop. Repentance is replacing it with a new one plus Slade, and specifically not breaking something else of yours again.” (Rev. Glen Newsome, Jr.) How many times have you or someone you know apologized and went right on doing the same behavior they just said they were sorry for? In time that ‘sorry’ no longer means as much as it once had.

Sadly, as we find our way through the wilderness of life we must learn to grow into manhood, womanhood, but also grow in our faith and live our lives as good faithful Christians. No matter the hurt someone places on you, forgiveness is not optional. It doesn’t matter if there is an apology or repentance. Forgiveness is something we are told we must do and do with all our hearts. Never forget that.

Tighten

Why am I still standing here? Being called out is something not for the weak. So many times in our lives are we afraid of change, afraid of the future, afraid we aren’t good enough, afraid we did something wrong to deserve the pain and suffering were going through. What kind of faith does it take to walk to the top of that mountain? What kind of faith does it take to run into danger? What kind of faith does it take to take that punch and stand back up? There will be obstacles that laugh at us, that try to hold us down, hold us back, but the truth is God is with us, God is for us, and it’s our choice to let God be in our corner. We have been given the greatest gift, Love. The first place to start is to love Jesus Christ. Then it’s to love ourselves, and then once we learn how to love ourselves we love our neighbors. Have the faith to move that mountain, have the faith to step out into the storm, have faith to fight that giant in front of you. Tighten up that armor, put that helmet on straight, and hold that shield tight. You can change the world with one testimony at a time. veni vidi vici

Way Down in The Valley

Way Down in The Valley

Way down in the valley I heard a mighty rawr, that rawr I hear is the lion, the lion of lions, the king of kings. I’ve been in the valley several times. I’ve been down where evil lays, the valley of death, the valley of darkness. We never know when we may slip into that valley, but when we do, finding our way out, who do we call?

When the darkness of death surrounds us, when we are at the height of despair who do we turn to? No matter how deep in the trenches you’re in, there’s always a path back to safety. When we’re in trouble we call 911. We rely on our emergency responders from the dispatchers that take the call to the paramedics and first responders, the law enforcement, and fire fighters that risk their safety to ensure our own. The emergency responders are rarely respected as they should be, and often go without the thanks they deserve. Our military run head long into danger and face the evils of this world, and do so, so our families can sleep safely at night. Psalm 23:4 “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.”

We all know the Psalm, we have all heard it time and again. I’ve seen war, and I’ve seen death. I myself have faced the valley and traveled down its treacherous slopes many times. I’ve heard the sound of the trumpets of war as the end was near. The protection of the Angels wings would shield me and protect me in the midsts of danger. The fact that war is dangerous, the valley of death is not only dangerous by traditional means, there are many traps and pitfalls that await us. The part of Psalm 23’s  verse that is sadly not heard often of is Psalm 23:1-3 “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.” It isn’t just about the Valley we fight in, it’s about the peace of mind that God is with us even in the midst of battle.

Revelations 21:4 “And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.” The followers of Christ will have sanctuary in Heaven. If you are not, the future doesn’t look so bright. Revelation 21:8 “But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.”

No matter the fear, or the sorrow we face, know that God is always with us. Our choices may be difficult, and we may not always know the direction to take, but it is in these moments we must seek Godly counsel and find our path. Every time I was close to death, or I found myself under attack, I knew that God was with me. I could feel God’s presence, and I knew that I had the protection of the Angels around me. In those moments of terror, it is then you know how far your faith will take you. It is then my belief would become unwavering. As I found myself feeling eerily calm, and the fear was near non-existent, the only thing I could think of was God protecting me. When danger is staring us in the face, stair back with conviction knowing that God is with you, always.

 

 

 

Clouds

Clouds

Clouds come in rolling like thunder, the crashing waves onto the beach. No matter how cloudy the sky gets know that eventually they will part, and the rays of sunshine will once again light up your day. It can take a lot of faith to weather a storm especially when it seems like it would never dissipate. Job 37:16 “Dost thou know the balancings of the clouds, the wondrous works of him which is perfect in knowledge?” Only God knows the balance of joy and suffering. The faith it takes to muster through, knowing that God is standing with us, and that in time, the seas will calm. We must not fear the storm instead we must embrace them. Storms give needed water to the world, the constant recycling of moisture that without it brings forth death.

Without the storms in our lives, without the trials, we never know our truest potential if we are never brought to the breaking point. It may not seem fair, or just, but the fact remains it is necessary in order for us to truly grow with God. It’s easy to Love and cherish God when the times in our lives are great and when we have no toils at all. Leaning on God when everything is taken away is our true acts of faith. The faithful will be blessed, and this is a promise that God won’t break.

The Wounded Warrior

The Wounded Warrior

The scars inside so deep they hide,

The pain holds on, we keep marching on,

A nightmare, we cannot share,

No one knows, no one understands, the worlds out there so full of foes,

The endless noise found deep within, perhaps it’s time to pay for the sin,

Are we wrong, they keep playing my song,

 

The call goes out, the scouts give a shout,

The call to ride, to be by my side,

The belonging of family, I never saw it within me,

The all gather round, no dry eye to be found.

We love you they say, for this I could never repay,

They sacrificed much, what a loving touch.

 

The pain inside, I cannot hide,

The pain lets go, it must be so,

The nightmare remains, but it breaks the chains

They all know and they all understand, the ejection of ones cargo.

The loudest noise found deep within, praising songs with cheer and a grin

We were wrong, it’s time to change the song.

 

To all Veterans who suffer from pain and suffering mind body and soul, know that you are never alone. There are always people out there who want to help, who are willing to help. Reach out and never feel you have to fight alone. We may have taken a country, but it wasn’t alone. Our pain is shared pain, and never forget we are warriors together. We are all warriors in Christ so never forget to pray and pray for others.