A Conversation With God

A Conversation With God

My God,

I came into this world a product of circumstance. I wasn’t born perfect in the flesh but perfect to your creation. I didn’t grow perfect in the flesh, but perfect to your plan. The trials and pain would start early in my life, and I would suffer long. I cried to you many times to take me home, yet you did not answer. A lifetime crying to you, and never relieving me of my pain. I know you’re there because I feel your presence. I can hear your whisper in the wind, I can feel you when I wake, and I know that my faith is tested, oh is it tested.

It seems the darkness and I have been an enemy for years past. The darkness rises and I feel the winds of change, yet in the wind I am powerless to stop the coming storm. I cried aloud to you for protection and for guidance. When the storm hits I’m not ready for the impact it would have. I cried to you, and as I reached for you, I feel as if I slipped through your grasp and the Devil had me by the ankle, I slammed to the fire below and for the moment the darkness had me. The darkness that remained in my heart, the pain of the years of struggle, festering beneath the surface like a cancer, had control, and I wasn’t me for a moment.

When I succumbed to the darkness, you never left my side. As I slipped away your Angels swooped down from Heaven and grabbed me. I don’t know why you saved me, but here I am. It’s been over a year now, and I sit and wonder what’s next my Lord? I have devoted a year to teach and preach your word. I have continued now, and I pray to you to show me the next step. I have fear and doubt and I beseech you show me the way.

In my solitude I find my wandering mind goes to the past. I find myself facing the emotions from so many trials, that were buried, never to be thought of again. I feel wrestles, yet I can’t seem to find my motivation to stand up and walk. My eyes are stained with tears, crying for my losses. It’s felt like Heaven’s been so far away, and the pain inside seems like it’s lingered, and I struggle to find my way. I feel empty some days and I wonder where you’ve gone. I know it’s the lies from below. I have learned to praise you in the good days, and the bad. I have learned to praise you in the storm. I feel the cold creeping in, and in the howls of the wind and rain, I hear you in this storm. I lift my hands to you my Lord and I trust in you. I trust that no matter how battered and broken I feel you have never left my side. Every life has a purpose, even the bee that pollinates flowers, and makes us honey. Every Life is important, and I will remember it.

My God, I feel broken, please put me back together. Life is confusing right now, and I can’t find my way out of this forest. I feel lost and I can’t find my way. I know that in your time I will be delivered from this struggle, and that in all things your time is perfect. I put my faith in you my Lord, because I know this is not where I belong. Some days my Lord I feel alone, so please give me the strength for me to be the man you want me to be. Give me the strength to face this life, and to continue fighting for your word. Please give me the strength to be more then I am today. Show me the way, so I can be the Soldier you’d have me be. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. I know I don’t have to be strong enough all the time. Be my strength my Lord. I worship you for the answered and unanswered prayers. Today, tomorrow, until the time I come home.

Our Time

Our Time

When the morning sun rises over the horizon and you see the first rays of light, you don’t often question if it’ll be your last. We live by the minutes we have, but we rarely put thought into the actual thought of living. When you look at the sunrise and think how beautiful it is, or how you see the person you love, we don’t wonder if it’s the last time. There was a day so many years ago now, which brought all these questions to mind. As time has moved passed I often forget how quickly that life can be. In just a fleeting moment the world as we know it can be rocked by change, and how we are forever changed. As we wake this morning and we go about our day, for me today is a reminder to be vigilant in my thoughts. We suffer so much pain, and we suffer so much loss, but when we forget to live, that’s the true tragedy. How do we honor the dead? We honor the dead by fighting. We honor the dead by living, and to do so with thought. We cannot just wake up every day and exist, that we must truly live our lives. The day will come when we are called home, but if that day is not today, we must live life with zest. We must open our eyes every morning, and be grateful to the one who gives life. We live this life and this is our time, but it’ll never come again.

When the days are numbered, how can we say we lived our life? Will we count our days by missed opportunities? Will we count them by the number of lives we touched? Will we count them by the number of lives we destroyed? No matter the form of measurement in your life, be sure to live your life for the moment. Be sure that in that moment, the fleeting moments we are here, make a difference. Live a life that is full of love and a life that is pleasing to God. Be a beacon of hope in a world full of darkness. Live your life in the light so others can see. We only get one shot at life, and we never know when the day our ticket gets punched, so live every day with the heart for God. Live every day loving your friends, loving your family. Live every day with the thought, tomorrow may not come. Don’t live out your days thinking ‘I thought I’d have more time.’ Today is the day you have, and tomorrow isn’t promised.

John 10:7-15 “7 So Jesus again said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, I am the door of the sheep. 8 All who came before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. 9 I am the door. If anyone enters by me, he will be saved and will go in and out and find pasture. 10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. 11 I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. 12 He who is a hired hand and not a shepherd, who does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and flees, and the wolf snatches them and scatters them. 13 He flees because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep. 14 I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, 15 just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I lay down my life for the sheep.”

We are the lost sheep living this life, and a shepherd came to give us hope. In that hope we now live, no longer in the darkness, but the light of the world. Although we live dust to dust, we are more then the sum of our flesh. We have the living waters that flow over our hearts when we open them to the Lord. Genesis 3:19 “By the sweat of your face you shall eat bread, till you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken; for you are dust, and to dust you shall return.” No longer are we here to live and die, but instead we are here to live and live. We live this life so one day we can live in eternal life. Ecclesiastes 3:20-21 “All go to one place. All are from the dust, and to dust all return. 21 Who knows whether the spirit of man goes upward and the spirit of the beast goes down into the earth?” We are given the choice of how we want to live, and in that choice so shall we be judged.

Today as I remember the dead, I recall the valley, which I gazed upon. I saw the face of evil and I will forever remember the horror, which lives in the hearts of man. The ability to take life, to extinguish a child of God, with no remorse or conscious, is truly a terrifying place. To witness such evils, reminds us that though Christ died to break the bonds of death, we still fight for the souls of the living. Not all who live shall live, and all the while not all that die shall die. If you are to live, live for love, live for Christ, and in Christ love all. Love all who live and pray for those whom you love, but in turn, pray for those whom wish to do hate. As it is said, love the sinner, and hate the sin. Today which is a day to remember, I pray for the souls of those who sought to do harm, and I pray with forgiveness in my heart, yet a prayer of God’s righteous vengeance. For it is not my place to judge the living, nor is it my place to judge the dead, but to love and pray for both. Romans 12:19 “Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.” I place my belief upon the Lord, and I pray for those who have trespassed against me, and I pray for my own heart that it be healed in my time of pain. I pray that I shall find peace in the knowledge that vengeance is not of my own hand, but in the hand of the Lord. I pray that we in this life find justice, not vengeance. Deuteronomy 32:35 “To me belongeth vengeance, and recompence; their foot shall slide in due time: for the day of their calamity is at hand, and the things that shall come upon them make haste.” Justice is restoring balance, and I trust in the Lord, which holds eternal balance in his righteous hands.

 

It’s Time To Live Again

It’s Time To Live Again

As I have struggled to find myself in the last year, I feel I’ve somehow gotten lost in the fog of life. I feel as if my days all blur together, and my nights are filled with less and less restful sleep. While there have been some changes lately, I find myself trying to figure out where to go next in my life. As I have questioned my next step, I have asked God to guide my next steps. As I have attempted to figure out my next steps, I have looked around and although things are tough right now, I’m very thankful to have the blessings I do have. I have a roof over my head, I have food in my fridge, I have a car, I’m debt free, and although my social life is in shambles, I have people to talk to from afar. The blessings I have are abundant, and should not be taken for granted.

We see in James 4:14 “yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.” When we become worried for tomorrow, and when it causes the anxiety to raise, we must remain focused on today, the hear and now. Of course we are to dream, and plan, but understand at the route of the day, God’s in control. Matthew 6:34 “34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” While I pray for changes, I understand that nothing will change without some work, and some grace. Colossians 3:23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters,” Our goals should always be to live our life pleasing to the Lord. Our goals should always be to bring Glory to our walk with Christ.

I find myself in the fog and I hope, no, I long for the day the fog lifts, and I can see clearly again. There are so many things I want for myself, and yet I find myself wondering if I’ll ever get back what I’ve lost. As I have wished for a family, a home of my own, a job that would sustain me, I find myself longing for the life I once had, yet very different at the same time. There are certainly primary characters from the Bible that have made horrible decisions, and have reaped the consequences. While not every bad thing that happens in our life is our own fault, we must learn to turn to God when we don’t know where to go. We must have faith that we cannot control every aspect of our lives. The fog will set, and then when it’s time, it will leave. As long as we can still see the light, there’s always hope for tomorrow. We need to remember where our true strength comes from. Have faith, the fog will lift, and in time, you’ll see clearly. Don’t chase the fog though, learn to live despite the fog. Learn to love despite the pain that can come from loving. Learn to allow God’s grace to be your guiding star and treat others the same.

 

 

 

 

Got a Problem? Bring it to me Sayath the Lord. 2 of 2

Got a Problem? Bring it to me Sayath the Lord. 2 of 2

1 Peter 5:7 “casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.” In all our times, our good moments, and our bad, we must first above all else, turn to the Lord with our praises, and with our worries. I believe this is the first step, but not the last. When we are in need of prayer we are taught to first turn to the Lord, bring our thoughts and our worries to the one who has all the power. However we are also told to share your thoughts and your burdens with others in Christ also. 1 Thessalonians 5:11Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do.” We are not told to hide away our burdens, instead we are told to lay them out, receive the grace upon which we ask for that help. To lift up the struggles in prayer, and expect brothers and sisters to pray along side you. Christianity isn’t about acting everything is just fine, it’s about facing the challenges, the burdens, and facing the reality that is life itself.

We need to turn to the Lord in our times of struggles, but we also need to be helpful for our neighbors when they are the ones in times of need. Matthew 11:28-29 (NIV), “Come to me, all you who are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart.” Bringing your troubles to the Lord first is the absolute best thing you can do. However, if you never put your requests out there your “Refusing to ask for help when you need it is refusing someone the chance to be helpful.”Ric Ocasek Are we behaving as Christ would? When someone brings their burdens to you, or when someone puts out there the need for help, are we rebuking them? James 1:5 If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.” The Lord never turns a back to us in our time of need, so why do we often turn our backs on others in need.

Exodus 18:14-15 When Moses’ father-in-law saw all that Moses was doing for the people, he asked, “What are you really accomplishing here? Why are you trying to do all this alone while everyone stands around you from morning till evening?” We don’t walk this world alone, so we should never expect to handle our struggles alone. I heard Dave Ramsey say one time, you would not go to a man who’s been divorced 18 times for advice on marriage. Or, you would not go to a 400 pound man for advice on how to loose weight. You must go to counsel to actually help you on your path. I believe it is folly to think it’s wrong to place your burdens in the same place you give your praise and hope. Your hope and your counsel is best given from a place where struggle and strife is overcome. I am not one to be so prideful that I don’t believe in the power of another’s helping hand. I will put myself out there to show others I need help and prayer. I am not weak because of this, and I do not believe anyone else is either. Psalm 10:4 “In his pride the wicked man does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God.” To shy away from your pain and to think that somehow if you show that pain, that struggle then others may not think you’re strong, I say shame on you. When we judge others on their struggles, or the trials they go through instead of being there to help shame on us. I wrote recently about placing yourself in another’s shoes. We have become so judgmental, and so high and mighty that we think we know what’s best. We tell others how best to live their lives, and we give the almighty opinion, when in fact there’s no scripture to back up that opinion.

When we finally stop spreading our opinion and allow scripture to speak for itself, and sharing the words of the Gospel we might actually be able to help others in need. There’s been some debate recently if I should publicly admit that I sometimes have high anxiety based on a personal negative feeling. The debate was if you post inspirational posts, and talking about anxiety in the same place, you are hurting your witness. I disagree and this is why. In my life I have had many hits and many struggles. I don’t hide this from the world, and I believe in some manor of decorum in the way I express my struggles makes a difference. The key however, is I am not allowing the struggles I face to keep me down. In those struggles I am using scripture, Christian music, and other means to work through them. Allowing others to see that I struggle and still maintain hope, and an uplifting attitude for the Lord, shows commonality. I believe to allow others to see me struggle not only builds a connection to others who struggle through that commonality, but also that there is always hope. Allowing others to know I struggle, to open the floor for prayer, and guidance, and Godly counsel is exactly what we are supposed to do. Don’t sit back and allow the weight of your struggles to bury you, instead learn to rise above and although the world is heavy at times, as was Jesus’s cross, we will always have help to lift it, when we ask for Godly help.

Got a problem 1

Bring all your troubles to the Lord, but also seek help from your brothers and sisters. Galatians 6:2 Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.” Be helpful to those in need of spiritual prayer and guidance. Lift up one another and trust that the Lord hears all prayers. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!” We are told to help lift up our brothers and sisters in times of need. When we approach someone going through trials, are we careful with our words? Are we being uplifting in our approach, or are we doing more harm? We must learn to follow James 1:19 Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;” When someone’s trying to help we must be able to see the meaning in their heart. We must figure out if what they are saying is out of spite or love. Don’t be so quick on the draw into judgment. Remember the tongue is a powerful tool, it can lift up or tear down. Be cautious how you use it. Remember what we say may have the best of intentions, but if our delivery is wrong, it can have lasting effects. Above all, don’t forget to take your sorrows, your pain, and your worries to the one with the real power, Jesus Christ. While it’s good to lean on your neighbors for help, people are people, and they will let you down. Don’t be too hard on them when they do. Remember to love and forgive, and don’t dwell on the past. Move forward with love and grace in your heart.

 

 

 

Letting Go of Spiritual Debt 1 of 2

Letting Go of Spiritual Debt 1 of 2

Do we hold onto our spiritual pain? Do we allow ourselves to let our pain pile up and one day realize we’re being crushed by it? We’ve built up our spiritual debt, and it’s time we start cutting those cards and be rid of them. Has our pain been marketed that we must keep it all to ourselves? Have you been told, a man doesn’t talk about his feelings because if he does he’s not a real man? Even women today don’t talk or express their emotions. We have gotten to the point where we hold onto that pain, and we allow ourselves to throw it in the closet and we don’t deal with it. I’d like to point out that the Devil is the lender of bad feelings, the bank that holds the negative spiritual debt. Proverbs 22:7 “­­­­­­The rich rules over the poor, and the borrower is the slave of the lender.” When we allow those feelings of loss, the feelings of self worth, the feelings of worth, all the negative feelings we have we have become slaves to the Devil. This is not just hyperbole, but in fact we have become a slave to those feelings, and we cannot see the love if we don’t pay down those feelings, and learn, we don’t need them in our life. We must count on scripture and we must remember that the Lord says loosely in Jeremiah 1:5 “I have loved you before you were born.” The battle within often considered as the battle of good and evil is a challenging thing. While we will always struggle with the good thoughts, the negative ones will also be there. The battle within is ongoing, and we must learn to handle them, and face them, head on.

I myself have found I am a slave to those feelings. I have struggled with all of those feelings and I have learned that those feelings are exactly what the Devil wants from me. The Devil has taken control of those negative thoughts and if we are to truly be free of two masters, we can only have one, Jesus Christ. While I’m not saying we will never have those negative feelings, what I’m saying is, don’t allow yourself to be stuck in those feelings. If we are to get into scripture, we will find that many figures in scripture suffered with depression. David, who wrote the majority of the Psalms, suffered through great amounts of depression. All feelings have a place in this world, but we can’t allow ourselves to be sucked into the lies of this world.

The Devil wants us to be held down in those chains. The Devil wants us to believe the lies, and instead, what we need to do is realize that we’re being lied to, and focus on the Love and Importance of our lives to God. We need to recognize the Lord’s value for us is far beyond anything we could ever imagine. The Lord wants us to be able to face our challenges, face our crucibles, and understand that if we can get through them, we can share our crucibles with others. Allow ourselves to make it through the fire with our head held high. If we allow our self to be slaves to the fear, to the feelings of worthlessness, the feelings of self loathing, we will be buried under them, and we cannot be a good witness to those around you. Let me explain this for a moment. Feelings are normal, and sometimes you will have feelings of depression, and that doesn’t make you a bad Christian. Feeling down, and the occasion question of your own self worth, those are lies, and we all get off track sometimes. When those feelings come up, if you sit back and you allow yourself to be buried under them, that’s when you face the problem. When you are hit with those feelings, but you are making progress to get yourself out of it, and you force the Devil away, that’s the difference.

Someone told me recently I shouldn’t publicly talk about going through high anxiety, and at the same time trying to inspire others. Here’s where I stand on that; those who go through struggles and can still get up every day, and still talk about the graces of God and what God’s done for them, is so important. Make no mistake, BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO CHRISTIANS! Sometimes bad things happen often, and sometimes the season lasts a while. Bad things happen long enough and people loose hope. Here’s the thing, I have endured a long time going through more bad then most people go through in a lifetime. Now my life hasn’t been as bad as many others, but I understand that it’s in those struggles, regardless of the length, that we should be able to share the most for others to see. In those struggles that we all go through, we share our struggles with others, and then we show one another how to carry on. We must not loose our hope. We must be the Gazelle and run for our lives. We must learn to run from the cheetah and have the motivation to run from the Devil who’s trying to eat you for dinner. If you want to survive the struggles, share them with others, ask for prayers, get help when you need it, but don’t allow yourself to get caught and eaten. If you are going to outrun the Devil let go of the weight on your shoulders. Bad things happen to everyone and if we are to hold weight in our world, we need to be able to relate. God sent Jesus as a baby to live and grow as a mortal man. He experienced life in all it was. We relate to Christ because we can relate to those struggles. Don’t hide your struggles because it’s in the troubles others can look upon you and say, ‘If they can do it with their struggles, so can I!” Turn to others, and ask questions, find out how they made it through the crucible. Your heavenly father loves you, and is rich beyond our comprehension. Pray for your salvation free from the bondage of sin. Pray for your emotions that they line up with the Love God Has For You! Don’t fall victim to the Devils lies. Share your experiences and lift others up with Hope and Love, and the Word of God. Pay down your spiritual burdens, and overcome. Do not feel you must go forth and manage your burdens alone. Do not feel you must struggle to carry your cross by yourself. Do not judge me because I have troubles; instead judge me because I stand in spite of my troubles. When you are in the middle of spiritual warfare find others to help lift you. Find those who will guide you in the ways of the truth, and the light, and of Jesus Christ.

Do not judge others by a snapshot of their life. Do not rebuke others because of their troubles, instead help lift, and guide, and show grace, and mercy and above all show Love. Be a beacon of hope in another life and share wisdom and comfort in others time of need.

Stay Tuned, Same Blog Time, Same Blog Channel. Tomorrow we’ll talk about how to take your problems to the Lord, and how to get help carrying your burdens. The nutshell “Got a Problem? Bring it to me sayath the Lord.”

 

 

I’ll Be There For You

I’ll be there for you

Though time has passed and you’ve been gone, I just wanted you to know I’ll be there for you. No matter how far you’ve traveled, or how deep you’ve sunk, just know I’ll be there for you. We know that in life nothing last forever, except our salvation in the blood of Christ. We know that the good will come, but we have to endure the bad to grow, and to appreciate the good. The relationships we have may not last forever, but you have to know that no matter how far down the road we travel God will always welcome us when we repent, and ask for the forgiveness we need. Why should we be any different? I know I have often opened my life up to those who’ve come seeking my audience. I have watched the same friends come and go for years. I’ve suffered through the loss of friends as they have decided to walk away and cut ties, and years later they reemerge with an apology, and an open heart. I’ve not once seen a friend that has done that, not to do it again. But, regardless of their intent, or intentions, I have to remember we are all human. People follow their heart which is easily swayed by the Devils schemes, tricks, and lies. Someone once asked me why I would let my ex-wife stay in my life after all the cruel things she did to me. The answer was easy, we are told to forgive, and we are told to lift up, and not tear down. We are told to love our spouse and never give up on them. While we are told that there’s only one due course to divorce, I found it in myself to move beyond and hope and pray to repair the damage done. 18 months later, that didn’t happen. In that time I have watched as some of my friends have left and haven’t returned. I’ve dubbed this season the exodus named after the time Moses led his people to the Promised Land.

I consider myself a loyal friend, and perhaps to much of a bleeding heart for the plight of others. I have often put myself out there to the point of deep pain upon myself. I have suffered great loss, and as difficult as it is for me to guard and protect myself from pain like this, I can’t seem to shut that part of my personality off. I think about the line from The Dark Knight. Alfred tells Bruce that Batman can be the one to take it. He would have to endure the attacks. I believe that once in a while a person can endure the great hardships because they must. I believe it’s in those people that truth, and love can shine. There’s no doubting the trials I have endured, but knowing that I can endure them, and be there for my friends present, past, and future, I believe shows the world what love and forgiveness can be. While I’m not perfect, and sometimes I stay stupid things, and I do stupid things, I try hard. I am not free from sin, nor do I make anyone try to believe that, but I do have an understanding of human behavior, and the human condition. I’ve tried to be the best friend anyone could ever ask for. I’m trying very hard to be a consistent friend, a friend to be depended on. I want people to know I am loyal and dependable.

I'll be there for you 2

Proverbs 25:13 “Like the cold of snow in the time of harvest is a faithful messenger to those who send him; he refreshes the soul of his masters.” One translation of this verse I found says a reliable friend is like a cold drink in the sweltering heat. I believe we should all aspire to be a friend that people turn to in times of trouble. I believe everyone should be a friend that can joke with the best of them. We should be a shoulder for those of our friends in need, and we should be able to provide scripture to help them along their way. I have always tried to follow the scripture in Proverbs 18:24 “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” It’s important to be a good character. If we are to walk in Christ we should be able to do so in confidence.

Romans 12:2 “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” When we look to the world for answers we will always get the wrong ones. We always ask the world for guidance to our problems, the thing is, the world doesn’t conform to scripture. When we have questions we need to turn to God, and turn to those who would give us scriptural guidance. I often question if my advice to others is good enough, but it’s in that advice I find my place with God. As I have watched friends leave for new adventures, I find myself questioning if it’s me, if it was something I said or did. I have found that as it may be me, it might be my reliance on God and scripture that’s pushed others away. Sadly when you live a life following in the light of Christ, you will loose people you were once close to. All we can do is try to live a life pleasing to God. Be a light for those around you, and never give up hope. People will undoubtedly leave you, but God will always stay. While many people will grow further away from you, you have to remain faithful to the Lord. Don’t loose hope, and try to be the best friend you can, while you can.

For those whom I have, and those whom I have lost, God loves you, and I do too. We never know the road we may end up on, but the journey is far from over. We aren’t perfect but true friends stick through tough times. Loyalty, honesty, openness is all part of being good close friends. Be kind, and realize that not all situations will be positive or provide good feelings, but friendships should be held to a higher standard. Friendships are an important part of our life, and having people to count on in our journey is important, and not to be taken lightly. I hope my friends know how loyal I am, and how important it is to me for those I call friends to be there for them, good and bad.

 

Divided

Divided

Who are we to judge others? Who are we to hold bigoted ideas and thoughts in our hearts? No matter if you’re on the left side liberal, the right side conservative, or somewhere in the middle, we are a nation divided. We no longer love one another under the same roof. While division has always been there in some way in our country, it seems now more then ever it’s more widespread then ever before. We have gotten so far into the darkness the light is a dim speak at the end of the tunnel. It’s not likely that we as a nation will fall to an outside source, however it’s more likely we will ultimately destroy ourselves. The divided nation we are weak, and yet, we have become more divided in the recent years. We don’t look to our neighbors with love and acceptance. We have eyes of hate and resentment. We are jaded and unforgiving. The battles wage on in the streets, and the hearts and minds of our people. In these times we must turn to scripture.

Those who wish to create dissention have always been around. The Devil’s influence can be seen all the way back in scripture to Adam and Eve. The half-truth in the Garden. Genesis 3:4 And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die:” While the punishment was not literal death that very moment, it was the division from God and Man. Man could not live in the garden with Sin in their hearts. The first division of a long cruel existence, and it all started with a smooth talker, a master of deception.

We have a responsibility to be observant in our life. We have a duty to be on guard for the influence of the Devil in those around us. Romans 16:17-18 “I appeal to you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have been taught; avoid them. For such persons do not serve our Lord Christ, but their own appetites, and by smooth talk and flattery they deceive the hearts of the naive.” Those who wish to do harm will do it on the wings of change. Those who wish to do harm will be smooth talkers, who will quietly sew in dissention and in the name of women and children this is something we ‘must’ do, because otherwise they will never be safe, or some other clever line to pull at your heart strings.

How often are we drawn into foolish debates, and foolish pitfalls from those who crave power and drama? We cannot allow ourselves to be drawn into the foolish arguments of those in our path. 1 Corinthians 1:10-13 “I appeal to you, brothers, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be united in the same mind and the same judgment. For it has been reported to me by Chloe’s people that there is quarreling among you, my brothers. What I mean is that each one of you says, “I follow Paul,” or “I follow Apollos,” or “I follow Cephas,” or “I follow Christ.” Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Or were you baptized in the name of Paul?” It’s sometimes hard knowing that we are actually perpetuating the cycle in which we are trying to avoid. How we vote, and how we treat others in our journey are clear problems we face every day. Looking at the state of our nation and the dissention from the top down, we are divided.

I was recently involved in a foolish debate over the legitimacy of a movie quote. I knew I was correct because I had ample evidence to prove it. However, when that evidence was presented the person became upset and as they were in a position of power, removed me and the evidence to show their very power in the situation. The truth became apparent that this person would be drunk on power, and in their error, decided to wipe the evidence away. Sadly, I didn’t realize the situation I was in until it was too late. I didn’t follow the words in Titus 3:9-11 “But avoid foolish controversies, genealogies, dissensions, and quarrels about the law, for they are unprofitable and worthless. As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him, knowing that such a person is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned.” I failed to realize those who seek power often hold onto it at all cost. The division cost me, and reminded me that even proclaimed Christians fall to the sin nature, and fail to walk and live scripture daily.

As I have watched this nation over the last 10 years, I have seen battles in the streets, destruction of property, families ripped apart, and friendships destroyed, all in the name of division. We no longer look to one another and see a person, we see the world as we want to see it. The liberals, the conservatives, the Muslims, the Christians, the Atheists, the color of our very skin, all of this now determines who we are. Recently, I saw a post that said anyone who voted for Trump was stupid, they were hateful bigots, and that that person hated each and every one of us, along with America. I must be honest, the words kind of shocked me. The left claims to be a group of acceptance, of loving everyone, and are the more evolved. Sadly, I don’t see that as the case. While I won’t get into politics, what I will say is we have become so focused on the division that that’s all we do now, is divide further. In the Shakespeare play The Merchant of Venice you see this famous quote “ If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?” This entire play is about the division between Christians and Jews. We are all human, and yet, we don’t treat one another as such. We do not reach for Christ as we should, and we allow ourselves to be consumed by hate no love. Jesus Christ saw everyone the same, from the Sanhedrin, to the beggar on the street. Everyone is a sinner, everyone in need of the flowing waters of the Holy Spirit. The women at the well, a women who laid with men in adultery yet, no stone was thrown according to the law. The law that called for her death doesn’t make the law just. Men create laws, and men create the atmosphere of our own struggles. We all wake up the same, we all bleed the same, eat the same, and yet we cannot see beyond the flesh. Shame on us for allowing our world to fall into such chaos, to allow so much hate to fill our hearts and we see this on the streets to often. If we cannot get our own house in order we will be doomed to watch it fall. Luke 11:17But he, knowing their thoughts, said to them, “Every kingdom divided against itself is laid waste, and a divided household falls.”

The Lord is the way, the color red in the blood that was shed to literally bring us together. Jesus blood split the tapestry a symbol that the road to God was now open, and in the forgiveness of sins and the one true way to Heaven in Jesus Christ, division is now only of our own doing. Jesus saw past the color of our skin, and only judged by the content of our hearts. Are we living in love or hate? Are you empathetic, and sympathetic to the blights of others, or are you cold and cruel? Do you quarrel just to create division, or do you bond in love and grace? Proverbs 6:16-19 “There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers.” The wicked hearts will be found, and the righteous will rise. In the eyes of the Lord all sin is created equal at the foot of the cross. Hatred is spreading like a plague in this nation and we all need to realize we are on the same side.

Bleed the Same By, Mandisa (ft Toby Mac)

Tell me, who are we
To judge someone
By the kind of clothes they’re wearing
Or the color of their skin?

 Are you black? (black)
Are you white? (white)
Aren’t we all the same inside? (the same inside)
Father, open our eyes to see!

 We all bleed the same (we all bleed the same)
We’re more beautiful when we come together
We all bleed the same (we all bleed the same)
So tell me why, tell me why
We’re divided
If we’re gonna fight
Let’s fight for each other (fight for each other!)
If we’re gonna shout
Let love be the cry (be the cry!)
We all bleed the same (we all bleed the same)
So tell me why, tell me why
We’re divided

 Only love can drive out all the darkness
What are we fighting for?
We were made to carry one another
We were made for more, said
Only love can drive out all the darkness
What are we fighting for? yeah
We were made to carry one another
We were made for more!

We have one thing in common and that’s Jesus loves us all. The truth is we need to come together and let go of our stigma’s, our judgments, and our hatred. We cannot think there will be no judgments from the Father, and that our actions will not have severe consequences. We cannot hope to have success when we are divided as a people. I can’t verify if this quote is real or not, but regardless of it’s validity, it’s truth. “the people who were trying to make this world worse are not taking a day off.  How can I?” (Bob Marley) We live in a dark world and we must allow the Light of Christ to shine through us brightly. Rid yourself of hate, and spread love wherever you may go.

 

The Dark

The Dark

The darkening cave surrounds you, the air thick and heavy, the pounding in your ears and the fear takes hold. Close your eyes, and extend your hand. Even in the darkest of days, a connection with faith, and you can be pulled from the deepest abyss. I have often felt as if my solitude were some kind punishment. I felt as if my inability to explore and make friends was something I had done wrong. Nothing seemed to be working and I felt as if I were in a cave all-alone. I have felt as if the darkness was overtaking me, and I never knew how far I’d slip. As the darkness spread it seemed as if most of the areas in my life would be affected. The truth was, and is, when pain is what causes the darkness it’s hard to find the light. The darkness is like an infection. Once it gets inside it’s hard to be rid of it. There are many things that can cause the darkness, insecurities, jealousy, and several forms of fear. There’s a fear in me of being alone. I fear I will be along for a long period of time. One of my biggest issues is basing my self worth on what others perceive in me. I have always allowed others acceptance of me to bring me down when they don’t.

The loneliness I’ve been dealing with seems to be a lingering problem. I know for sure, an undoubted fact that the Devil has been working overtime lately, feeding me lie after lie. I have sunken into a more depressed state, feeling alone, and questioning my own mortality. I’m not talking suicidal thoughts, but the wondering motif of the past, and thinking I missed out on a more deserved fate. These lies come straight from the pits of Hell, and it’s important to at least realize the source if we are to better fight against it. The Devil will try to attack you, finding the cracks to get in. Once the Devil gets in, the small speck turns like a seed to a plant spreading it’s evil fines throughout your life. What line of defense do you have to protect yourself from the trails and tribulations that will befall you? We know that scripture teaches us to turn to God for our strength. We are taught to guard our heart, and protect our mind. We are taught to use the armor of God and not allow ourselves to fall victim to the spiritual warfare that we are actively engaged in. The dark cannot exist when you shine the light on it. The light can only exist if you choose not to sit in the darkness. You have to choose to leave the darkness behind and fight to stay in the light.

Fighting depression, anxiety, hopelessness isn’t ever easy, but it’s something we must endure, and learn to fight back against. The darkness is in all of us. We all have the ability for great evil, but also great love. We will always have a choice in this life to follow the path of light or dark. We will make choices every day, and sometimes we may actually believe that what we are doing is what’s best, but I heard a sermon recently, your heart can be deceived and therefore you shouldn’t trust it. The heart can be fooled into feeling a great many things, and it’s in Christ we find our Godly wisdom. We won’t always make the best of choices, and we won’t always follow the right path, but if we truly trust in the Lord, and believe that we are doing what would be bring glory to God, then we stand a chance to living our life in the light, and not the dark. I’ve seen men and women walk a path, and just at the snap of your fingers something or someone comes along, a viper in the weeds to lure them to the dark side. Lust presents itself as love, and how often do we as a people try to do what’s best for us in the name of love? When we are fooled by the feel good emotions, the drug in which many marriages, and friendships have fallen into ash, then we see the darkness that has covered our very world.

While I find myself fighting the darkness from rising, and I have considered myself a failure by all right, I know where those lies come from. The struggle is real regardless. Your feelings should always be lined up with the situation to know that your feelings are validated. We all have good and bad feelings, and sometimes our life’s struggles cause us to feel badly about ourselves. It’s hard to manage what you feel, and what you know you should feel. I know I shouldn’t feel worthless, and I know I shouldn’t question my own mortality. The fight is real, and the challenges don’t necessarily get any easier as time goes on. We know we need to turn to others in our time of need, but more importantly the Lord. We know we can’t keep ourselves on our own island, keeping us secluded. Isolation is unhealthy and we are easily picked off when we’re alone. We are weakest by ourselves, and we need to find strength in numbers. Don’t keep yourself secluded, go out and find yourself in the light. Stay out of the darkness because the darkness can take hold, and if we aren’t careful, it doesn’t let go easily.

The Face of Evil

The Face of Evil

Does the face we show the world reflect the heart within? Does the soul we have look dark, shrouded in shadow? I’ve lived only a little while on this earth by some standards yet in that time I’ve seen the face of evil more then once. I’ve watched as men killed one another over religious ideologies. I’ve see the horrible things that come from war as people smile to your face, but in their hearts, they want to kill you. I have watched as loved ones who claimed to be loving, and devoted to me have turned their backs on vows and promises, and oaths, and instead while on the outside I see the loving face, the kisses, the hugs, on the inside the plots begin, and horrible things loom. The treachery that looms within a person can lay dormant for years, but as the Billy Joel song goes, “We all have a face that we hide away forever.” Sometimes we come home to a face we don’t recognize, but that’s because some people hide who they are and try to be something they aren’t. How do we handle when the world of people changes right before our eyes? Does the change in a person break our foundation? For a moment to long it broke mine. I fell and when I did the whole world seem to break and fall apart. I let myself be fooled by my own blindness and the day the truth came out, I fractured and fell into the deepest despair I could ever imagine.

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The day the shot rang out changed everything for me. My entire outlook on life changed, along with my outlook on people. In the year that’s followed I have seen more hateful, more hurtful, more disgraceful behavior come out of the people that were supposed to be my closest friends. I have seen the good in people, the generosity, the love, but sadly the bad has far outweighed the good. The end though is one day the end will come for us all, and we will be judged not by the works we’ve done, or the money we have, or the kittens we’ve saved out of trees, the judgment at the foot of the cross will be on the content of our hearts. Isn’t it the judgment within ourselves we should be focused on most though? I’ve struggled with taking the blame for things I really didn’t have anything to do with. I’ve watched as my world fell around me and I held myself to blame. As I have watched a utter change up in my life in nearly every category,

When I have my bad days, I often feel the pull of the Devil inside my head. I feel the darkness creeping in telling me lies, and telling me I’m not worthwhile. While the world can be unfair and cruel, we can’t allow ourselves to succumb to it. We cannot allow ourselves to harden our hearts, and become cold and cruel. We can’t be the villains in our story. There are a few quotes I remember that make me think about this topic. “All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy. That’s how far the world is from where I am. Just one bad day. You had a bad day once, am I right? I know I am. I can tell. You had a bad day and everything changed.” (Joker) While Batman’s bad day led him to the roll of hero, I can’t say that happens to everyone. I think more often then not, people’s bad days lead them down a darker path. I think for most people it follows this “As you know, madness is like gravity…all it takes is a little push.” (Joker) When we think about it, aren’t we fragile creatures? The mind is a fragile thing. The Devil prays on that weakness, he prays on our insecurities, and our shortcomings, and in that we must learn to take our lows to the Lord. Do not allow yourself to fall pray to the darkness. Fight the Devil and remember to always keep your mind to the Lord.

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The pain will come I can whittle away pieces of your heart if you’re not careful. We don’t want that bad day to come when we give up who we are, and forsake everything we’ve built. I’ve seen marriages fall apart because of one big bad day. One thing, one major event can shake your and crack your foundation if you aren’t careful. As Frank Castle once told DareDevil, ““You know, you’re one bad day away from being me.” We don’t want to the one to destroy everything around us. Sadly I had a bad day once and I would loose what was most important to me. 18 months later I’m still trying to put the pieces back together in my life. While I’m not perfect I was recently told I’ve made great improvements in a years time. The thing is, progress no matter how slow is progress. We must continue to move forward. People will come into your life and they will be whatever they are going to be. Some will be kind and sweet, others will be the face of evil and sadly we will feel the pain from lies, betrayal, and loss.

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Don’t quit on yourself, and don’t loose your way. Stay on your path with Jesus and don’t let the masks hurt you, don’t let the masks lie to you. Don’t don your mask and be something you’re not. Devote your heart to the Lord and let that be your world. Stay away from the faces of evil. Keep fighting the good fight, and the day you finish the race, you’ll have something to be proud of. Love Jesus and let the light be in you always.

 

 

 

How Do You Feel?

How Do You Feel?

We are a nation, a society of shielding ourselves from real feelings. We are no longer a proactive society. We allow ourselves to be shielding from our feelings by way of relationships, money, and even sometimes our jobs. We no longer talk on the phone, instead we text and often people we may never meet in person. It’s easy to walk away because people don’t become attached, they don’t feel the connection. Money is the same way. We no longer feel the loss of money when we spend by just swiping the card. Instead of using the feeling of cash between our fingers we swipe the plastic and never see the connection between our money and us. We mismanage our lives poorly. We handle our money poorly, and we handle and manage our personal relationships. We don’t manage the gifts we are given by God. We don’t feel appreciative of the little things God gives us. We don’t feel that connection to our earthy gifts from our heavenly Father.

When we receive our gifts from God how do we look at those? Are we feeling our gifts, and are we any good at it? When we appreciate our gifts, when we actually have our feelers in the mix we take care of what we are given. When God gives us friendships, when God gives us people in our lives and we should cultivate those relationships. We should cultivate the money we are given, and ensure that we are using that gift to glorify God. When we feel nothing to let friends go, we must look at why we feel nothing. When we feel nothing for the money you spend, and you overspend, or use credit cards like it’s free cash, we see a society of foolish people growing.

When you look at your life and you look at what you have how do you feel? When you look at your life are you satisfied with the friends in your life? Are you satisfied with how you ended friendships? Do you feel badly with how you treated your coworker last week? How did you treat the waitress at the restaurant yesterday? If someone from the outside looked in on your life, would you be able to call yourself a Christian, or not? We all make mistake, but it’s important to understand the mistakes we are making. It’s not easy to evaluate our lives and figure out if we’re doing something right or wrong. Do we complicate our lives? Remember someone’s struggles, someone’s hardships do not constitute complications.

When we see something complicated in our society the natural reaction is to run away. We are a feel good society and we want to feel good. We want to rid our lives of anything that makes us feel anything but good. We want to emotionally spend even if we don’t have the money. We spend on credit cards because we deserve to have whatever it is we seek because we’ve earned it. We’ve had a hard day, or a hard week, and it’s decided we can indulge now, and deal with the implications latter. 1 Timothy 5:8 “But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” If we provide for our household with finances we should be willing to help the rest of our family with love and support. We are a family in Christ and therefore we should be willing to provide what’s needed for those in trials to succeed. When we look at our loved ones, or friends who are going through a hard time, and we decide that dealing with them is just bringing you down, we use our feelings and yet we aren’t behaving as Christians. We don’t talk about things that are hard because it brings negative emotions that we no longer know how to manage in our lives.

We must learn to understand that both positive and negative feelings are important. How do we appreciate our positive feelings if we never allow negative feelings to be felt? If we run away from anything negative we miss the message in scripture. Scripture teaches us we WILL face hardships. Not only are we going to face the hardships, we are also told our brothers and sisters will also face hardships. This isn’t a suggestion, but we are told to raise one another, we are told to help carry the burdens of those in need in our lives. The thing is, if we feel the need to allow those to fall around us, and we don’t pick up their cross to help them, who’s going to help you? If you were in the crowd and you watched the Lord of all things fall, bleeding, and we choose not to help Jesus Christ lift and carry his cross because we don’t want to get involved, we don’t want the negative vibes to infect, to infest our good feelings, how do we feel? You see, when we abandon those in our lives because they have some drama, or they have hardships going on in their lives, leaving them to fend for themselves is not scriptural. Now, I will say some people choose to stay in their fire. They choose not to help themselves and they bring upon their own burdens. Those people can be difficult and it can be hard to keep them in our lives. Leeches are not what I’m talking about. Helping others is a scriptural principle that is non negotiable. We must help, but we are also told to use our gifts wisely. When we help those in need especially financially we must be good stewards of what we have.

I would like to think most people do not bring their own burdens upon themselves. But if they do, we must try to show the love of Christ. We must attempt to help show them a better way. We must be willing to put ourselves out there a little to help save them. If we were in a house with a fire would we not want a firefighter to come in to the house to save us? They put themselves at risk to save us from the fire. We can all be firefighters, or rescue swimmers, and help those in crisis. We can’t expect the fire never to come because it does. I challenge you all to take a good long hard look at yourselves and see if you have been allowing someone close to you to carry his or her cross alone. Have you turned your back on someone that reached out to you for help? Have you walked away from friendships because they had too much going on? Be good stewards, and walk in Christ in your every day. Be thankful for your gifts, but those gifts may not always be there if you are not walking in Christ. If you do not use the gifts of God to glorify God, you can’t expect the gifts to keep coming if we aren’t walking with the Lord in other areas of our lives. We feel all kinds of things in our life, but we must learn to feel the grace of the Holy Spirit. That grace is important because when we allow the Holy Spirit to be in us, we will feel more empathy for others. We will often feel more sympathy for the blights of others when we are more in tuned with the thoughts and feelings of those around us. We are all in this together, and we need others to help us sometimes and it’s important to realize that love is a give emotion. We are told to love our brothers and sisters and that means being there for them when we need to. Let go of your selfish desire to rid yourself of all negativity. Negative events will happen, and it’s not about if but when. We have insurance because we want it when something goes wrong. The thing is, when the fire comes we don’t want to have to face putting it out on our own. We call for the fire department and we appreciate them being there. Our friends are the same way. We should feel the pain of others and we should be driven to help when we can. Believe it or not, when we are able to help someone through a crisis, how we feel will actually be positive making a change to someone’s life. Love all, cherish all, and be good stewards of God’s gifts. 1 Peter 4:16 “Yet if anyone suffers as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God in that name.”