Held by a Savior

Held by a Savior

In the last year my followers have seen that I have experienced some significant hardships, but the thing is, we all do. It’s not about the hardships, it’s about how we survive them. Everyone experiences their own trials, and their own troubles. We all have our tears that pour from our faces, and we all experience pain that while others may be able to sympathize, or empathize with us, it’s our own pain and no one knows exactly what we feel. We all have our stories that can be either inspiration as what to do, or not to. What is it to be a man? What is it to be a woman? I believe the truth is in how we handle our pain and how we endure the cross. Do we endure with dignity that would make people proud, or do we allow our lives to fall apart and crumble beneath our feet?

It’s a fine line I think between falling down, and throwing everything away. It’s okay to not be okay. I think those who actively follow a path of self-destruction are those who throw away. I think those who follow that path forgot how to live life. Life isn’t easy and it was never promised to be. Living life is knowing we have our issues, and finding ways to live our lives by embracing them and using them for the betterment of others, or learning to overcome them. I have PTSD and I am finding how to help others with it. I didn’t get here without falling down. I didn’t get to where I am today without facing down the wrong side life. We fall down and we get back up. We fall down and we have a choice, do we learn to ask for help, or do we try it our way? I don’t mean help by way of friends, family or professional help. I mean God. We are always going to be stumbling through life. We are always going to have one crisis after another, and every time we stumble or fall, we have an opportunity to learn how to ask God for help. True healing, true redemption is through Christ. The blood spilt on Calvary’s cross that day broke the bondage of slaves to sin, for a life free and full of choice to live in the light of Christ, or the shadows of the Devil.

Bad things happen to everyone, but we can choose to overcome. PTSD doesn’t define me, anxiety doesn’t define me, and no matter how much it hurts my childhood, and my divorces don’t’ define me. I didn’t ask for this life of pain and suffering, but here we are. I’m not perfect and I’ve made plenty of mistakes. I have not always held my tongue when I should have. I haven’t always said the nicest of words to my loved ones, but I try hard to be a man God would be proud of. I know my Savior is Christ, and I know that in his blood my mistakes are washed clean. I know that I will fall and make mistakes, but I know in God’s eyes my mistakes aren’t going to condemn me forever. We as a people should learn not to judge so quickly. We should learn to see the mistakes and keep an open mind. We are all human and we all screw up. Instead of a life of judgment, of ridicule, open your heart with love, and see through the eyes beyond the cover.

We have so many blessing in our life and we often overlook them in our waking moments. The gift of life, the breath we take and the days we have are the biggest blessing we take for granted. The poorest of the poor in this nation often have far more then those of other poor nations. We have food, and shelter, and we have people in our lives that care for us. As for me, I have more money then I need, maybe not as much as I want, but needs and wants are very different. I have my dogs, my mother, and I have a warm bed to sleep in. I have my car, and I am debt free. I don’t struggle with bills, and I don’t have to worry where my next meal is coming from. I have friends that care about me, and are there for me when I need them. I know that no matter how dark the darkest day, how deep my pain runs, and I know that no matter how bruised and bettered I become, Jesus is still right there going through it all with me. Jesus is my faithful friend, and the Abba of all is by my side.

I know this year’s been hard, and that I have posted about a lot of hardships and pain, but isn’t that what life is? It’s not about the hardships we endure; it’s how we endure them. Pain comes and when it does we are expected to use the sandals and dig in and hold our ground. Expressing hardships isn’t a sign of weakness or even a sign of complaining (in some cases) it’s about how we can find our strength to persevere in Christ our Savior. We know some days will be great, and others will bring more pain then we think we can handle. We will see the peace of the meadow, and we will face the valley of death, but no matter what our day is, we know one thing is absolutely certain, Christ our Savior is always with us. Psalm 23 “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.”

Remember one thing if nothing else; we are never alone and we never know when our testimony will save someone else. We never know whom we may meet, and how we may affect their life. Let me help you if I can, let me be there for you if you need it. My email is always open if you need to talk about God. We are called to lean on one another and help lift each other up. We are called to bare one another’s burdens and use our tongue to lift up and never to tear down. We always have the opportunity to help our neighbors and I promise you, you don’t have to look far to find someone in need of love. Our world is a fallen one, shrouded in sin and pain. It’s the love we are taught to give that is our hope. We are told to Love as Christ Loved us, and we are told to do this to all of our neighbors, not just the ones we like. We cannot surly do this on our own and we were never expected to. We are taught to turn to one another, turn to God. We know that without Christ we are nothing and without the grace of God we cannot surely do anything. I know that today, yesterday, and tomorrow I’ve always needed my Lord. I am not strong enough alone. I am not brave enough on my own. I know that I didn’t survive Iraq without God’s protecting hands. I know the literal circle of protection surrounding my truck that day was nothing short of a miracle. I know when I was shot that without God’s grace I surly would have died. I know that I have needed God and I always will. The Lord is my Sheppard, my strength, my savior, and I know when I cannot stand I fall on the Lord. Jesus is the only hope I will ever truly need, and as my needs arise, I trust the Lord will provide, and provide always.

 

The Purge

The Purge

Job 2:11 “Now when Job’s three friends heard of all this evil that was come upon him, they came every one from his own place; Eliphaz the Temanite, and Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite: for they had made an appointment together to come to mourn with him and to comfort him.” They spoke out against him instead of offering comfort. While they never left Job they certainly weren’t the friends he needed in his time of sorrow and suffering. God would rebuke his friends for their handling of their good friends unfortunate situation.

What about when friends just up and leave? John 6:66 “From that time many of his disciples went back, and walked no more with him.” Jesus Christ had friends, followers that left him when he said something they didn’t like. When Christ told them the only way to the Father was through Christ, they ask no questions; they turn their backs and never returned. Later Jesus would be betrayed by Judas and sold him out to the Sanhedrin.

In the last year I’ve seen a major exodus from my life, friends that I never thought I’d loose, but many have walked away never to return. I’ve had friends blame me for my troubles, and I’ve had friends leave without a single word. It’s hard watching a purge like that in your life, but the truth is, in order for the forest to grow back greener, fuller, more beautiful then ever, sometimes purging fire is needed. This isn’t without sorrow and pain, but the truth is, sometimes the purge is exactly what’s needed.

Jesus knew many would flee from him because of what he was teaching. He taught regardless of the cost because what was needed is always necessary. The truth may not be popular but that doesn’t mean it isn’t true. It’s better to loose to truth, then to have in the lie. It’s better to have very little, but be blessed in quality, then to have plenty and be worth very little. No one wants to live in solitude, but sometimes we need to see the world through a different set of eyes. No one wants to be alone, but it’s better to be alone then to be with people who care nothing for you.

Would you stand with the crowd preaching lies, or stand alone on the truth? God’s word will stand against the raging tie because it’s the truth. Luke 13:24 “Strive to enter through the narrow door. For many, I tell you, will seek to enter and will not be able.” God’s word is the truth, and Christians will be persecuted through time and till the very end. You will loose friends, and you will watch as the world turns from you. It can be heart breaking watching close friends leave you, and it will hurt your feelings, but the truth is, if it’s so fragile that friends would leave for any number of reasons, the friendships weren’t that strong to begin with. As you walk in Christ you will find new friends, and hopefully one day a partner to worship along side. There’s more in life then we could ever see and we must have faith and trust in the Lord that brighter days are just around the corner. We never know how long the storm will last, but we know that one day the storm will end and the light from Heavens gate will shine the way home. When we go home this life and the friends we had, the friends we lost, none of it will matter. Have faith in the plan unseen, and even when you’re on your knees praying for relief, trust it will come. Never loose sight of the big picture and my prayers are with you, those who’ve lost friends. Those who have followed in the footsteps of Job, and those who’ve lost friends like Jesus. Remember the purge of old makes room for the new. Embrace the new as it comes. It will be different, and it might be hard, but change isn’t always bad. The change of your heart when you accept Christ will be foreign to many, and you won’t be recognizable anymore. Allow the old to burn away, and watch the beauty of the new budding relationships. Just have patience and breath. Trust always, and move forward.

 

 

 

Not Alone

Not Alone

Does it bother you when someone tells you you’re not alone? Does it bother you when you sit at home and wait for the phone to ring but never does? Does it bother you when you feel the only way people talk to you is because you talk first? Does it bother you when it doesn’t seem like there’s any conversation left between you and your friends? How often are you sitting at home waiting for anything to happen in your life?

If you’ve asked yourself any of these questions, you’re not the only one. I’ve struggled with these very same questions, and I have even seen it go a little further. My job, the people that are supposed to be there to help you won’t even call me back. It’s not because I’m a bad officer, I’m not, in fact I’m a decorated officer. I think the key to anyone being happy is realizing the world isn’t a fair place. You won’t get a fair chance, you won’t get what you want half the time, and people are generally just as bad. It’s a difficult place to be when you’re the one waiting for your phone to ring. When you question if you’ve made any difference in anyone’s life. I ask myself that very question fairly often. As I have sat waiting for my messenger to ding, or my phone to ring, I have questioned if anyone would miss me if I were gone. When you leave a job and no one misses you. When you stop being the first one to text and realize the only reason you talked every day was because of you. This realization is of course sad, and potentially heart breaking, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t true.

No matter what your currently loneliness looks like, we al must come to the conclusion that while yes in this life you may not have as many people in your life as you’d like, the fact is there are more people that care about you then you realize, they just can’t talk as much as they would like. It’s not an easy task weeding out those who are just there, and those who actually care. I’ve had my fair share of fair weather friends, but trust me when I say, when the going gets tough you will have at least a couple people there for you. I know for a fact I have a few friends that have bailed me out when bad things have happened to me. Those friends aren’t going anywhere, and even when I don’t see them often, they are still around.

I think where the line gets burry is when we don’t have many people to talk to. I think there’s a distinct difference between care, and communicate. The age of communication is over. People today don’t know how to make conversation. We are quickly becoming a society of introverts. We went from texting over talking, and from there we went from texting to Facebook messenger, to now people only share funny gifs, or meme’s. The age of talking seems to have died, and with it the care to actually get to know anyone, or getting past the surface fluff.

It’s a dark place out there and in the world, and sadly most people are lonely. Most people are seeking for a connection and that connection sadly is more and more difficult to come by. Yes you probably are alone in the way that you live a meager solitary life. You probably only have a few people to talk to, and sometimes none at all. If you’re anything like me most of my friends have abandoned ship this last year and in doing so revealing the fair weather friends and weeding through them. Those left are the ones I know I can count on, and having friends that I can count on is more important then meager chitchat.

When you dig deeper and you scrape away all the nonsense the gold is really buried under the trash. You truly aren’t alone because God will never leave or forsake you. Hebrews 13:5 “Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” God’s love for you is eternal. God will always walk with you no matter what season you’re in. Some times the teacher must let the student take the test alone, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t in the room. God wants what’s best for us and even when things go badly we must understand that there will always be tests, and there will always be sin mixed in with free will. Other people will do you wrong, and other people will try to ruin things for you. We are sometimes our own worst enemy and we must learn to overcome. While some days loneliness will feel so heavy you can’t seem to move, but trust me when I say, the Holy Spirit is always with you. Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

We stray away and we forget but no matter how far we go we know that the love of our Abba (Father) will be with us no matter how far we fall, or how deeply we fail. A father’s love is something one can never under estimate. Our Father told us all we’d ever need to know when he sent his only Son to be born, live, grow, and suffer and die for our very sins. To be forgiven no matter what we do if we seek the forgiveness and ask for our chance to be redeemed.

Love without End, Amen

Let me tell you a secret about a father’s love
A secret that my daddy said was just between us
He said daddies don’t just love their children every now and then
It’s a love without end, amen

 We may not see the world as it is, but only our small piece of it. It’s hard not having someone to talk to when you feel alone, but if you look hard enough you will find. Pray from the depths of your heart and your needs will be met. Don’t get lost in the forest of lies and don’t let the Devil win. You matter and your contributions to this world matter. Don’t rest your self worth on others, instead allow yourself to see that your self worth is held by our Father. The creator of all things made you and there’s a reason, a purpose for it. We may not always understand or see, but pray for a moment to see the way God see’s. Everything will be alright and just keep the faith. You haven’t failed, people have failed you. Remember that the next time you feel alone in your room. Jesus a master of the universe, the true King, knowing and understanding the secrets of the universe, had to walk every day with by his point of view simpletons that wouldn’t ever truly understand what he knew. Having the comfort that the Father was watching over Him every day is peace of mind you can’t buy. Never give up on yourself because you have so much to live for, so much to do. Find your mission, your purpose and God will help you along the way.

 

 

Lego Therapy

Lego Therapy

Some days are harder then others. For whatever reason we as people have different ways of handling stress, or negative emotions. Some people turn to liquor, some turn to being workaholics, some turn to gambling, or drugs, and while some things are absolutely okay in moderation, some things are not. I’ve known people who’ve turned to drugs, and I’ve known people who’ve turned to sex to hide the pain they are in. I’ve known others who have gotten so involved with work that they no longer make time for anyone or anything else in their life. Obviously some of these are better then drugs, and others in some ways are just as bad.

Last year when I was going through some of the worst emotions I’d ever faced in my life, I found poor relief in alcohol and Ambien. At night when work was over, or even on my days off before I’d go to bed, I would mix the two and would proceed to black out for hours. I wouldn’t remember anything from the night before. I’d wake up in the morning and find I would record myself talking incoherently, sending gibberish texts, and sadly making everything public on Facebook. Obviously in a time of crisis my decisions were less then desirable. I made poor life choices for about 3 months. Eventually my situation would escalate to a boiling point and things would get worse.

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Now, when I’m in high stress times, or feeling depressed I turn to Lego’s. For one person I know, she colors to help her relax and face stress. Now when I have a hard day, or I just need to have a distraction for a couple hours I get a new set, and I build. I put in a movie, and I start building. For me it gives me a chance to clear my mind, and focus on a goal. I have found that even a short term, but a very achievable goal helps me to let go of the things that are bothering me. It releases the stress to see what I can do, what I can create with my own hands. I think it’s important for all of us to find something. There are always productive, healthy ways to handle stress, to handle the worries of the world.

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Finding peace in troubled times can be difficult. Finding comfort in ways that are healthy can be even more troublesome. We often desire things with our hearts that are just out of reach. We allow emotions like pain, and guilt and shame to be the driving force of our decisions and we can easily be led astray in the midst of what can only be described as spiritual warfare. We cannot hope to win the war if we don’t understand how to rest and reset ourselves when we can. James 1:2-4 “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” We know that Jesus is the one true way, and when we are able to rest our minds, our bodies, and our souls from the weary days, we can follow the words in Luke 21:19 “Stand firm, and you will win life.” The war is never an easy place to be, but war isn’t easy. Those who are faithful, who are living the life, are always going to be the ones targeted most. This isn’t to say others won’t endure hardships also, but the ones who have Jesus in their heart will be targets for the Devil and the temptations of the flesh start. Psalm 94:19 “When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.”

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War is Hell, and enduring the pull to the dark side is tough. The power of flesh is strong, and the desires we often hide deep down can surface. Know though, that we are all human and we all make mistakes. I have found new ways to deal with my stress, deal with my pain that led me so far astray, but damage was done. I can only hope that in my day-to-day life now, those mistakes of the past aren’t how I’m defined forever. In our pursuit to find our way we will follow the wrong path and find comfort in all the wrong places. No one wants mistakes to be how they are defined or seen, so we must learn to forgive. We must trust those around us who mean for us to be happy, and healthy and safe. Have faith in the Godly council, and have faith that God will give us what we need, when we need it. That includes people in our lives, the tools we need to succeed, and eventually flourish. We just need to be able to move day to day, and come what may. Find ways to handle stress that is productive and doesn’t harm yourself or others. Find the courage to resist what you must, and embrace what you should.

 

New Years Eve, A Year Remembered

New Years Eve, A Year Remembered

In the last year I’ve gone through and lost two positions within my company for one reason or another. I have had major losses with my friends. I suffered a major back injury resulting in surgery. I moved out of my home to sell it. I ended up living with my mother. I became debt free. I was able to travel to Hawaii for a veteran’s clinic. I met a wonderful friend in Indiana. Since February I have written and published 381 posts this year and only God knows what 2018 has to offer

We may not always have the year we hoped, but it’s the year we have. We can only hope that as we say goodbye to 2017 that we say hello to 2018 with zeal. We must look to the future with hope and optimism. While 2017 was possibly one of the worst years I’ve ever had with just a few moments of joy sprinkled around. It’s been a long road getting from there to here but as 2018 pops up, we can only pray that the winds of change have come and have faith, that tomorrow will be a brighter future. There will always be ups and downs, and sometimes life is a big mess, but as we ring in this New Year, sing praises to the Lord. God gave us Jesus to wash away the dismal future we once had, and in our life we have hope.

We may need to change things about ourselves to find success. We may need to go to great lengths, but if the juice is worth the squeeze then it’s worth it. If we think we’ve lost our way, turn to the Lord and find our way back. Don’t dwell on the setbacks this last year. Focus on the possibilities and embrace the fire needed to make it happen. Set your goals and go for it. Set your sights, breath, aim, shoot, and you can hit your target God willing.

While I am not sure what or where my future holds, I know I will be taken care of because I have faith in the Lord. I have the utmost faith that I will be provided for, and that God will not forsake me. Say goodbye to the year, and celebrate that you are still here. You’ve survived, you’ve overcome, you’re still fighting, and have optimism for tomorrow.

Be the Hero

Be the Hero

God is King and as king He needs warriors to fight the forces of darkness. As King the wishes of a king are not requests, but a call to serve. To honor your king and to be obedient you are to serve to the best of your ability. God has endowed each and every one of us with a gift, something that makes us stand out, unique, and something that we are capable of beyond those around us. A hero doesn’t have to wear a cape, but if we are soldiers for Christ our capes may not be seen by us, but they are there. A hero can be anyone who endures, who puts on the brave face every day.

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“What is it to be a hero, look in the mirror and you’ll know. Look into your own eyes and tell me you’re not heroic, that you’ve not endured, or suffered, or lost the things you care about most. And yet here you are….” (Karen Page/ Daredevil)

In this world cowards don’t last long. In this world, some ‘bloody their fists’ (DD) to keep the world safe, some write, some talk, and others remain in the shadows but without them, the ones in the light couldn’t do what they do. Without the every day service and sacrifice of so many people within our church, from those who take out the trash, to the ones in the pulpit, no matter who you are, your service counts. Each and every one of us has the opportunity to spread the Gospel every day. We don’t have to be literary experts to talk about Jesus Christ and what affect Christ has had on our lives.

It doesn’t matter how far you’ve gone down the wrong path, you can turn around any time, and Jesus will be right there waiting for you. You all probably know someone whose just one step away from turning around. How many lives can one person save in eternity by sharing the gospel to friends, coworkers, and even random strangers at times? We all have the ability to be heroes for Christ. When we lay down our old chain and we take up a new name in Christ, we are given the power, the grace, the courage when we need it to look at Satan in the face and laugh. We don’t have to fear the Devil and his lies. We don’t have to fear the persecution of our peers because no matter what happens in this life, we are given the promise of forever. No matter the day, the month, the year you’ve had, good, or bad, the Lord is still working to bless you. “Living is not for the weak” (Arrow) As long as you walk this earth you are not done fighting.

Everyone in this world makes a difference in their own way. Everyone’s contributions to the Lord will never go unnoticed. While man may not see it, or even appreciate it, the Lord is the one opinion that matters. If you live your entire life and you’ve lived with Christ, if you’ve breathed the Holy Spirit, if you’ve suffered the cross, and if you’ve cried to God that you need saving deep down in your soul, you have been broken the chains of death. The weak, the small, the big and the tall, Jesus calls to all.

Look in the mirror and tell me you haven’t endured. Look in the mirror and tell me you haven’t survived this far. No matter what you’ve been through you made it. You’ve overcome hardships, and pain, and while those scars will forever be with you, tomorrow the pain will be a little less. No one, and nothing can ever make the scars go away, but in some way you can use those scars. God doesn’t let anything go to waist. You have been given life, given the breath and the strength to carry on through whatever you’ve made it through.

I’ve seen friends die, and I’ve seen friends fall. I’ve seen friends get lost, and ones who’ve found the way. I’ve seen friends suffer through loss, and rape, and those who’ve faced death. There’s one thing they all have in common, they all woke up this morning. When you have the strength to get up and step back into the world for another day there’s always hope because God is still working on whatever pain you have. You’re stronger then you know because God is still standing with you. When you hurt God hurts, and when you cry God cries. Heroes stand tall and sometimes they fall, but no matter what, a hero never stops fighting the fight. Your heart may be broken, your bones may fail you, and your heart may often heavy as bricks but your life is worth more to God then you can ever know.

I’ve been taken to the woodshed by life more then once. I’ve faced death and I’ve faced loss. I have seen the Devil, I have seen war, I have experienced the worst kinds of loss, and yet here I am. I have sinned, I have made mistakes, I have hurt people I love, and I have been in my own purgatory of my mind, and yet, here I am. God has forgiven, and strengthened me. If you can stand you can fight. If you can see you can fight. If you can hear you can fight. Stand for the Lord and you can hold your head high. If you can see God in your heart then you can hold true when the Devil attacks your heart. If you can hear the Angels calls you can drown out the whispers and lies of Satan. Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”

 When the skies fall down around you, when the world you know it is gone, remember that you are still breathing. No matter the storm, or the fight that may lie ahead, the King of all is still in control. If you’re still breathing there’s always hope. Faith is hard, but to trust in the Lord is sometimes all we have left. Let God be in control of your life. Let God be the star in which you guide your ship. Those who stand to fight along side Christ are the heroes of today, like the heroes of old we are in heavenly company. Like Moses, and David, Joseph, and Esther, the Apostils and Job, Daniel, and Stephen, we serve the Lord with our hearts, and we will one day walk with angelic company.

We all have the capacity for both great good, or terrible evil. We all have a choice who we are, and how we live, so if you had to make a choice, and you do, what side are you on? Be a hero for Christ. Look in the mirror and be the change. Let go of the selfish love, let go of the hate, the doubt, and with the Armor of God, don the heroes cape and join the greats of the bible. “Start with the man in the mirror… If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make that change.”(Michael Jackson)

 Let the regret and worries of this year pass away. Let them fade from memory and remain in the present, and prepare for the future. Let God be in control and “Lead us not into temptation, and deliver us from evil.”

 

A Miracle for my Heart

A Miracle for my Heart

It’s been so long now, and while I feel beaten, I feel bloody, I feel broken, I know that you still want me my Lord. I know that while in this life my body may fail, my heart may be broken, and the scars I have may not make me attractive to others, but to you, I am beautiful. I trust in you my God to use me how I am. I trust in you that you want me for the man I am, and if I am obedient, if I am faithful to you, you will bless me when my day comes.

My God, it’s been so long now and I feel lost some days. I feel as if I am trapped in a dark room unable to find my way out. I sing praises to you my Holy King of all Kings. I know that the sun dawns every day, the darkness falls, and I am still here on this earth breathing. I trust in you and trust there is just cause for my unanswered prayers. You’re rich in love my Lord, and I must remember to trust no in my own understanding, but to trust in you alone. While I feel like I am walking in the shadows, I know I have walked in the valley of death, and here I stand. I have lain in green pastures, which you have blessed and allowed my life, my love the flourish. I have seen so much death, and yet lived so little.

The darkness tries to lie to me. It tries to cheat me, and promise me so much, but I know the truth. It’s been so long since I felt the light, and I fear I’ve forgotten the warm of love. The path seems so dark and with the fog of war covering my eyes, I close them to trust in you my Lord. I know that my decisions of old haunt me. All I can say is I know my Sins are forgiven, and I’ve been set free from the mistakes of yesterday. I’ve been stuck and I pray to be set free. I don’t want to go back, I don’t want to be in the purgatory of my own mind. I trust in you my Lord, and let this new upcoming year be something special. I pray to put this behind me and move forward, new, washed clean, and unburdened.

I know I’m not strong enough to be everything I need to be. I know that I am nothing without you my Lord because I’m weak on my own. I know that through Christ I can do all things. I don’t have to be alone in this world and I pray you my Lord would see it fit to end that period in my life. I pray you give me the guidance to better my life, to find a better purpose. I don’t know what else I can do, but I know you have the power to change things for me. My God my God, please change my life.

From the outside

From the outside

Sometimes it’s a struggle watching the world form the outside looking in. What’s even worse is sometimes you’re on the inside and you can’t see the world at all. It’s been so long since I felt like I was making a difference. This last year is never without a challenge for me to wake up every morning, pull up my big boy pants and continue to fight the fight every day.

It’s hard to get out of bed some days. Some days I struggle to find the motivation to do much of anything. With each passing day I am forced to face my demons. With every hour I face my fears. Some days I emerge the victor, other days I fall in defeat. The thing is, it’s not about if you have days where life’s brought to your knees. If you’re on your knees then praying is what you should be doing.

The Lord will give you strength when you feel weak. The Lord will give you courage when you feel afraid. The Lord will give you stamina when you feel tired. The Lord will provide you shelter when it’s cold outside. Troubled times will be in the future and for all who walk this earth among the living. Suffering is something we all have but we have a say in how bad we’re affected by it.

Even as a devoted Christian man I still struggle some days, as we all will. The Devil will always be nipping at your heals hungry to devour you whole. The challenge is to get back up when you fall. The challenge is to have faith beyond our limited sight and trust in the Lord. It’s not easy, but anything worth having is never easy. Find the strength to keep going and pick yourself up every day. I know better then most how hard life can be, but I also know how giving and caring some people can be. I know that when you need it God will provide it to you. You have to have and keep the faith. You can’t give up hope, and in this time of celebration, remember the Savior, our King of the universe is still okay.

I Am One With The Force, The Force Is With Me

I Am One With The Force, The Force Is With Me

Being a child of the King I know where my worth is. Knowing I belong to God sets me free in so many ways from the bonds of darkness I once lived in. Being a child of the King gives us forever hope. No matter what happens to us in this life we will always have eternal salvation in the end. Romans 8:31 “What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” No matter how bad things seem to be we have hope. Psalm 71:14 “But I will hope continually and will praise you yet more and more.”

The Devil will try again and again to break you, and to bring you to your knees in defeat. The Devil wants us to fail, he wants us to step away from God, to blame Him for our sorrow. The Devil will try and sway us, to persuade us that the darkness is better then the light. The Devil wants to try and hide in the shadows, that our sin if no one knows is okay, and it’s better to indulge and be free of worry. That’s when you look at the Devil and respond “Every word that you just said – is wrong.” (Luke Skywalker) We have to have faith in the Lord. We have to have faith the lure of the Dark Side is not stronger, that we can overcome the pull and remain in the light. Ephesians 6:13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm.”

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As long as God is with me, I know I am one with the force for good. I cannot be defeated so long as I keep God in my heart. When you feel as if you’re about to crumble under the pressures of this world close your eyes, take a deep breath and feel the light of the world inside you. Feel it flowing through you. The Holy Spirit is all around us, it is inside of us, and when you open yourself to it, it can help guide you through any struggle you may encounter. There is no greater force in this universe, but the force and power of Christ. I know I am one with the force, and the force is with me.

Rough Sleep

Rough Sleep

Waking up this morning I realized I haven’t slept well in days. I feel tired and sluggish each day. There are so many reasons someone may not sleep well. There could be chemical issues, to much salt, sugar, caffeine, or even a lack of self made melatonin. There could be Apnea issues, and then there could be a lot of stuff on your mind, which is where I think I am.

Some times when you wake up and you’re exhausted still you have to muster through. The days will come and go, and sleep health is the most important thing you may face in that time. I know for me this year sleep has been hit or miss. I can only remember a small handful of times I woke up feeling bright eyed and bushy tailed.

We should try to focus on the things we need in our life. We often overlook things in our life we need to spend more time on. Sleep in something in this country we don’t focus on much. “More than a third of American adults are not getting enough sleep on a regular basis” (https://www.cdc.gov/media/releases/2016/p0215-enough-sleep.html) The problem with not getting enough sleep is everything that sleepless nights can cause. “Sleeping less than seven hours per day is associated with an increased risk of developing chronic conditions such as obesity, diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, stroke, and frequent mental distress.” (CDC)

We should wake up every morning and start off with praying to God for a great morning, another morning we’ve woken up. The night should be met with some quiet reflection after the TV goes off, put away the phone, and focus on the breath you take.

1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

 

Proverbs 3:24 When thou liest down, thou shalt not be afraid: yea, thou shalt lie down, and thy sleep shall be sweet.

 Don’t let the weight of the world keep you weighted down during your night sleep. Let go of the worries of the day, and let yourself float to the pillow as light as a feather. Relax and let yourself rest.