Set a Star and Sail Away
Sometimes people will say things that are painful when they get angry. Sometimes we allow our own insecurities to take over and dictate our thoughts even to the point of how we feel of ourselves. Projecting is a part of life from time to time, but that never excused someone from saying things just to hurt someone else. I cannot hide from the truth, and I won’t. I will not allow someone to drag me down to their level. I had a moment of weakness in September and I did something horrible that affected my entire life. I have never intended harm on anyone else, and even when I was treated horribly I maintained respect and love. But I am not going to gravel for peoples attention. I am not going to give and fight for something that should be inherently given. If you care about someone you make sure they know it. If you love someone that person should be a part of your thoughts and prayers. If I am not desirable to someone as a potential love interest then I can do better. I refuse to be beaten down any longer. I refuse to settle because my fears tell me too. I refuse to believe I am sub standard because others have treated me as such. I refuse to not seek for that person who will complete me. I know that for every person God has someone out there for you, so why have I allowed in my life people to degrade me and disrespect me. I myself have failed but within that failure has never been a point where I was willing to abandon those I care about. I refuse to allow anyone to hurt me like this again and I refuse to settle for someone who doesn’t share the same beliefs and interest as myself. This post is directed towards myself and my own inability to reach for what I deserve. I have interests, and dreams, and goals, and I have yet to find someone who shares those with me. Not anymore. I will not settle just so I am not alone. If someone cares for me for who I am I hope they might speak up. Make themselves known. I for one have kept quiet too often in my life and let opportunities slip by me. Well I am not doing that anymore. The fear of abandonment and the fear of rejection will no longer dictate my path. Anyone who drags me down will be cut from my life. I will not allow anyone to sink my ship. I am who I am and if you don’t like it, you can get off my bridge. I am in command of this vessel and I choose the course, I choose the crew that will help me along my way. God is my star and I will set sail by that light. Don’t like it, too bad.
The Arrow Preacher 