Tag: Nature

Don’t Be a Coward

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Don’t Be a Coward

It’s not easy following God’s plan, or the path in front of you. I have spent a long time trying to fit in with the crowd yet no matter how much I’ve tried I never quite did. Recently however, I found my place in a new crowd, and let go of some of my outer defenses. By the end of the week I was nicknamed preacher, and by the end of the weak I’d realized one thing, I became courageous. We are soldiers, every last one of us. We were made to be courageous, and we were made to fight a war. Every day the Devil wins a new soul, yet our fight doesn’t end with our own personal salvation. I would say the day we are saved is when the real fight begins. It’s time we stand up, and we get out of the shadows we’ve been hiding in for far too long. It’s time to realize who the true enemy is, and take the fight to him. Step out of your comfort zone and know that in all things God will make you strong, God will give you the courage, the strength to do whatever he, The Great I AM, wishes of you. I stayed in the shadows afraid to make my faith known for fear of being rebuked. I now realize that the thing that was missing in my life was the thing I had all along. Accepting my place in this world wasn’t being accepted by the people I was surrounded by, but accepting that I am not sheep, but a Shepard. God has called upon me to speak and preach his Holy Word. It’s me that he has called to stand tall, stand proud, and proclaim the word of God. I am humbled by the opportunities He has given to me to expand my voice as I proclaim the truth in ways others enjoy reading. When I finally accepted my roll, finally allowed myself to hear what God’s been saying all along, I had an overwhelming sense of peace. My own Odyssey wasn’t to find or make friends even though I did along the way, it was to find me, it was to find who I am meant to be. When I say I was transformed I cannot overstate the pure raw power I found within that single week.

Months ago I found a song that rang truth in my ears, and I sang it over and over again. I couldn’t hear the words I was singing. I couldn’t see the message that God had sent to me. I was blogging, and I was telling the word, and yet, I felt alone, lost and afraid. I couldn’t see that it wasn’t the world that was holding me back, it was me that couldn’t see how I fit into the world. I was holding back from God afraid to go into the deep end. I was afraid that if I let go of my fear and doubts, I would be mocked, ridiculed, and hated for my stance. In the years I’ve been a Christian I am finding now, it is I, myself that’s been my own worst enemy. The Devil’s lies would be strong, and I would be to weak to stand against them. I believed the lie and even more then believing the lie, I began years ago to live in that lie. I knew I didn’t fit it with my friends, my family, even the women I would love. I would know I was worthless, and a fraud, a poser, a coward. I believed the lies so much that in every aspect of my life I lived the lie. The old saying is true, that when you lie to yourself long enough you begin to believe it. It was no different with me, I believed I was a waist of flesh, and I didn’t deserve anything. I was a nobody lost in the waves, tossed around lost in my own pain. I wasn’t fit to wear the filthy rags of a beggar on the street. The truth was I am no one, without God we are nothing. The God who created the Heavens and the Earth says I am someone, I am his child. The King of all creation, and I was made for a purpose. I was created with love, and I live to serve, to not be a slave to this world, but the Shepard to leave the comforts of home to find lost sheep. I was not created to be a pastor, but I was created to spread and share the great news of Jesus Christ. I know where I belong and it’s to be in Heaven one day with the Father, but until that day comes, it’s my place to reach as many people as I can as often as possible.

The Devil wants me to fail; he wants me to loose hope, to distract me from the mission. For so long I was afraid to step out from that boat, and now when the Devil whispers in my ear I’m not strong enough to withstand the storm, I now whisper back ‘I am the storm.’ I challenge you all to find your courage to stand up and be loud and proud. We all have our gifts, and every last one of us can be a soldier for Christ. Do not be afraid of the Devil because he can’t do anything to remove your salvation. Do not be afraid of death for we all must meet our maker someday so even if the Devil puts me on the fast path to death, that just means I get to go home sooner. The voice of truth says do not be afraid, do not be dismayed for the Lord is with you. The voice of truth says the war is won, the Devil just doesn’t know it yet. Allow your pain and suffering to fuel your faith, to stand taller, to yell as loud as you can that the living waters of the Holy Spirit have washed you creating a new creation. Don’t just say what people want to hear, say what they need to hear. Don’t be a yes man, do what’s right. Sometimes doing what’s right is to say no. The Lord has seen fit to wash away the doubt I held in my heart, and the transformation within me has been nothing short of a miracle.

I’m not a perfect man, but I strive to have my Father be proud of me. I strive for God to be pleased in what I say and what I do. I’ve seen the way I was, and the way I am, and that feeling of not fitting in was washed away. I know I will fail, and I know I will fall, but I know God will forgive my shortcomings, and I know that God will love me enough to scold me when I’m wrong, reward me when I’m good, and will over a hand when I need it. God is always with me, and I know now that sometimes being a believer in Christ may make me an outsider with man, but I will fit right in when I go home. When I expire I will leave this world, and leave this broken body for a life of beauty and perfection. I will be given a new perfect body where I will be beautiful and accepted for me. My journey didn’t end at my Odyssey, no, it was just the beginning, it was my beginning. I hope to stand tall, and stand proud proclaiming the one truth anyone will ever need. I will be attacked in the coming days, weeks, and years, by the Devil who will try to break me. I know the battle was won, but the war for me is far from over. Like so many greats before me, I could only dream of standing as tall as them. David, Esther, Moses, Paul, any of them I would gladly set as my inspiration to become more like. Each struggled with their own failings, but God has made ordinary people into legends. While I have no belief I will be remembered as a legend, I know that I can at the very least offer to leave this world a better place then where I found it. With every breath I take I now know my true place in this world. Hallelujah to the one above who helped me cut the last tie to a scared boy.

Zephaniah 3:17 “17 The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.” The Lord created you, gave you life, and in that life inlaid gifts, talents, and a soul to love. God loved us so much that in an act of love sacrificed his only son, to spare us the pain of total separation from the Father. Romans 5:8 “God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” It’s this love we see the true sacrifice made. We are not saved by works, but through God alone. Matthew 19:26 “But Jesus looked at them and said to them, “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” We are to live like Christ, and in that we are told to share and preach the Gospel. To gather followers, and baptize the world in the Holy Spirit, so we must be willing to follow as Christ walked. John 10:11 “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.” Do not just stand by and watch, get out there and get ready for the long road. We cannot stay in the shallow ends if we are to be the Shepard in Christ. Ready yourselves with the armor of God Ephesians 6:10-18. Stand tall, and find your courage. The world may hate you, friends may turn their backs on you, but God, God will never forsake you. I want to be remembered when I die for being a Godly man, who fought the good fight. I want to leave behind a legacy of Godly children who follow in dad’s footsteps. But if I’m a coward and I run from danger, I run away with fear in my heart, I’ll never achieve greatness. If I am to achieve any real measure of success it must be before the Lord all mighty, not the standards of man. Stand tall, and be courageous in your walk with the Lord. Do not be afraid if you stray a little along the way, God will help you back on course. The promise made by God is a tab that’s already been paid. The Blood of Christ spilt so our sins may be forgiven and that relationship with God no longer divided. Believe in yourself because God believes in you.

 

 

How Does It Feel?

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How Does It Feel?

Have you ever been in emotional distress? Have you ever been in a position where you were anxious but maybe you didn’t know why? Emotions can be powerful, and sometimes they can be overwhelming. In the first step of managing distress, we must first change the physiological response. There are several ways we can do this, and the first step no matter what it is, or the cause, is to stop and realize what’s going on. Moving out of emotion mind and moving into wise mind using reason mind to pull us to center. If you feel so mad you’re shaking, or you get so mad you fly off the handle and throw stuff, or you yell, or punch walls, it’s a good bet you’re in pure fledged emotion mind. Often strong emotions can be destructive, so when we find ourselves in that mindset, lets take a moment to realize where we are, and step back. From every thought there is a feeling, and with every feeling there is an action. We must learn to stop between the feeling and consider what that action may be. We must be able to recognize our actions and determine what the consequence will be. James 1:19 “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:” When we take a moment to listen to the Holy Spirit in our hearts, we should feel a conviction to calm ourselves or at least recognize the flesh/sin behavior in ourselves. Assess your thought into the feeling, and once the feeling comes, take a moment to pause before that feelings becomes an action. Remember, once something is said or done there is no rewind button. The things we say, and do may have a lasting effect upon our lives. For every opportunity we have to control our actions, we have the possibility to show our witness as living in Christ.

When you feel the strong emotions inside you building, step back and find a way to temporarily lower your physical response. An ice pack below your eyes onto your cheeks can lower your response. There are many steps you can take to help lower your distress. You can do 20 minutes of extensive exorcise or physical activity. We want to make sure these things are healthy. No punching walls is not healthy, nor is punching people, pets, or any other nonsense like that. Deep breathing techniques are a favorite of mine. I often mix this with muscle relaxation. This is the process of tightening muscle groups on the inhale, and relaxing them on the exhale. This works from head to toe. There are other things we can do, such as stepping out of our stressor for a few moments and breathe. We can phone a friend to help calm down, or engage in something we know for a fact relaxes us. Disclaimer, I am not talking about substances such as drugs or alcohol. This is using your mind and body to help heal itself in distress.

These things take time and when they are put into practice and grow in skill, you will find what works better, and what doesn’t. As I mentioned breathing and muscle works well for me in the moment, but if I am feeling stressed, or anxious, if I can, I try to build a Lego set, or go for a walk, play a video game, or read. If we are honest with ourselves, we don’t have to keep our cups (of stress) full. I was told recently how PTSD is like climbing a mountain. While we may never reach the top there will be moments when we reach plateaus, but more importantly, what we choose to carry in our rucksack is entirely up to us. There will be things from our past that many of us carry with us, but if we’re being honest we don’t have to. Some things that shape you, you need with you, so some things in your pack are mandatory, but others are entirely optional. It’s taken me years to start getting to a healthy weight in my own pack, but for the first time in my life, I feel lighter then I’ve been in a long time.

We must learn the heart of Christ. In Christ we must learn that our lips, our tongues. We are ambassadors of Christ and we must be honest with ourselves and find who we are again. Managing your PTSD, anxiety, depression is an Odyssey of your own. The journey may not be a quick and easy one, but with time, effort, endurance, and patience you too will one day make it home. PTSD, or any of the other ailments people may suffer from does not define you. If anyone is like me I was always worried how people would treat me if they knew what I suffered with. I was always worried how I would be judged, and even though Jesus on more then one occasion told us not to judge one another. Even though I like to think I follow that code, others don’t. We are a judgmental people, and my flesh desire to fit in has kept me in my own pain for a long time. Once I finally admitted to myself that I was honestly the one holding myself back by forcing myself to stay trapped in my own negative judgments. This was depression, a lack of motivation, staying in the house, avoiding social events, and trying to make connections online because it was easier then facing people directly afraid of rejection. When I realized I was keeping myself stuck on the side of the mountain, my rucksack heavy, weighing me down, I was unable to pick myself up to continue on. Are we holding onto guilt, and shame, fear, and loss on our daily walk? How much pain are we holding onto? When will decide to finally let it go, and live in our moment? I know when I was on a ruck march in the military I loved the feeling of finally releasing those straps and feeling the weight of my ruck leave my shoulders. When we hold onto all those things, every day we are adding more stress, more anxiety, more troubles, and more trials to our bags. We can allow the weight to crush us, or we can drop the stuff we don’t need today, and drive on. Our mission is to keep working our way up the hill, and we must learn to pack the mission essentials, and drop everything else.

Allow yourself to feel and to live in the moment. Allow your sins to flow to God for forgiveness and don’t hold onto them anymore. Make amends for wrong doings, and then move forward. Philippians 3:13-14 “13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” There was a famous monkey one time that had great advice. “The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it.” (Rafiki) The message is so plain and simple, yet one of the hardest things we may ever try to put into action. The concept of dealing with your past and not holding onto it is centuries old. Isaiah 43:18-19 “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. 19 See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”

So how do you feel? Do you feel like you’re in control over your emotions, or do they control you? Do you feel you are in control over your own weight you carry, or is crushing you? If you don’t have control fear not, you can gain control. You have the power to rise above your self. Don’t be a slave to your own mind any longer. Trust in the healing power of God, and go to God with your prayers of healing, and your gracious gratitude for the many blessings we all have. No day is without them for each morning we draw breath is a gift. Have faith in yourself to be able to overcome and push forward. Do not doubt yourself, and do not doubt the healing power of the Holy Spirit. Never quit, and never give up. Keep pushing up that hill.

 

Push Yourself

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Push Yourself

We are often pushed in our lives to do things we do, or maybe things we don’t want to do. People afraid of heights for instance, but with proper motivation you can actually achieve anything. In Christ we are told anything is possible. Life will always challenge us. We need to focus on growth and not to be the stagnant water. Look deeper and see beyond your labels. Look beyond what the average eye sees, macro photography for instance is about more then what the average eye sees, it’s about looking deeper. We are all something, and in that something we have at some point fallen into that particular label. There’s one label that is above all else the most important, Christian. In my life I’ve been many labels, son, student, employee, boyfriend, soldier, fiancé’, husband, but when all of those things were taken away what was I? When my labels crumbled like loose sand in my hands, I was left in a state of freefall. Fear of not knowing who I was, fear of not knowing who we are is a big motivator to self destruction. Fear makes people do all kinds of strange things, but we have the opportunity to dig deep, find something new, find something real, and change our tomorrow. We need to do one thing first, and that’s push yourself.

Push Yourself

I’ve never been afraid of most things other people are. Heights, water, spiders, snakes, or other things like that have never bothered me. My fears have always been strange. I had a fear when I was younger of stuff falling out of my pockets into the water. I grew out of that, but over time, one loss after another I would fear above all else abandonment. One after another the losses I faced forced me to hold on just a little tighter to the next person. I wasn’t ever jealous or controlling but I would talk often via text, or call. Since my wife left, now ex wife, I have found those whom I’ve been romantically interested in, hasn’t stuck around long. This experience that’s repeated over and over has left me doubting myself. Thus, the nature of this post. When we get to a point in our lives when we doubt ourselves we must learn to push beyond so we can grow. How do we grow if we don’t push ourselves past the limits of our own minds?

Fear can be a good thing, it can let us know when we are in real danger, but in some ways, fear is a prison within our own mind. Fear of something bad happening to you when in reality there’s very low likelihood anything will happen. I have been uncomfortable going into crowded stores ever since I returned from Iraq, but if I go with a battle buddy I’m okay. I know people who are afraid of heights, and the ocean, and spiders, and snakes, and I would surmise most fears are based on our own mortality. If you trust in God, have faith in your salvation, then are you really afraid to die? How do we push beyond our fears and end the prison we’ve remained in? When I was in South Carolina I found my battle buddies facing off with some of their biggest fears. Some guys were terrified to open up about their experiences. Some were afraid of heights, and some were afraid of rafting. Each and every man faced some fear, some big challenge and come out on the other side a different person. When we push our faith to our limits will we crack under the pressure, or rise above and grow. 2 Peter 3:18 “18 But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen.”

Push yourself 2

We should walk with the knowledge that we may need to remove ourselves from our own heads, and focus on the tasks at hand. We can’t allow ourselves to freeze with fear, because someone’s counting on you. We have an obligation to push past the fear. “There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.” (John Lennon) Do not run from that danger, run towards it. Brace yourself for it, take a big breath of air, and dive right in. Plunge into that fear and show it who’s boss. “We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.” (Plato) We as adults have learned to concur some fears, and yet some remain intact. When we trust in the Lord and we are able to look at life without a fear of the end because when the end comes we know where we are headed. “I’ve known fear. It’s a very healthy thing, most of the time. You warn us of danger, remind us of our limits, protect us from carelessness. I’ve learned to trust fear.” (Captain Kathryn Janeway) If we are to be completely honest with ourselves why is there fear? As I mentioned earlier, fear can be a great tool to tell us when there’s danger, limits, etc. But in the end, most things I would say are left for one thing and one thing alone, concurred. “You know as well as I do that fear only exists for one purpose: to be conquered.” (Captain Kathryn Janeway)

 Do not fall victim to your own fears. Learn to rise above and to push yourself because when you do, the sense of pride, and accomplishments will replace that fear. The day may come when you’re faced with a challenge and that challenge may bring you tremendous amounts of fear. In that time I challenge you to face your fear, dig deep and rise above. Allow the Holy Spirit to enter your heart and know that you will be carried through. We can concur anything because we’ve already concurred death through the blood of Christ. What more do we need to fear in the end when we know what awaits us past the fields of green? I know my own fear of abandonment runs deep, and I know one day I will have to face it, and I pray for strength when that day comes. I don’t want to be alone my whole life. I don’t want to fail my family in having kids to carry on the family line. I don’t want to be a failure in this life, and my battles I face aren’t in the physical world, but the battlefield in within my own heart. The battle that has been waging for many years between the Devil’s lies, and the voice of Jesus. In my heart the war wages on and some battles are won by the light, and others the dark, but as I grow in my faith, more and more battles score the win for my Savior. I’m not perfect and I have my struggles like anyone else, but it’s in those struggles I choose to never quit, never surrender, and I never, ever back down from a fight with the Devil. One loss after another, the Devil has now grown to fear me. The attacks come more frequently then they used to, but when we feel cornered we feel desperate, and the Devil’s desperate to trap me, and all of you in his snares. The Devil is loosing ground every time someone drops to their knees and prays. The Devil lashes out for every person saved, for every marriage reunited, for every forgiving heart that lets go of the wrongs from a loved one. The Devil fears the Christian heart, and thus the Devil turns that fear into rage. When we face fear with love, with hope, we can climb that tallest mountain and see the wonders of this world. Face your fears and grow beyond them. Push yourself to new limits, and watch as the things you thought you could never do now become milestones for you to break through. Fear not for the Lord is always with you. John 14:27 “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” Face your fears, face yourself, and you can rise to new levels. Courage is the remedy for fear. Courage in the face of fears is rising above and not allowing fear to drag you down. Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” Trust in the Lord, and believe that if the day comes, the Lord will either protect you, or bring you home to paradise. Either or, the outcome is pretty nice. Isaiah 35:4 “say to those with fearful hearts, “Be strong, do not fear; your God will come, he will come with vengeance; with divine retribution he will come to save you.”

 

A Conversation With God

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A Conversation With God

My God,

I came into this world a product of circumstance. I wasn’t born perfect in the flesh but perfect to your creation. I didn’t grow perfect in the flesh, but perfect to your plan. The trials and pain would start early in my life, and I would suffer long. I cried to you many times to take me home, yet you did not answer. A lifetime crying to you, and never relieving me of my pain. I know you’re there because I feel your presence. I can hear your whisper in the wind, I can feel you when I wake, and I know that my faith is tested, oh is it tested.

It seems the darkness and I have been an enemy for years past. The darkness rises and I feel the winds of change, yet in the wind I am powerless to stop the coming storm. I cried aloud to you for protection and for guidance. When the storm hits I’m not ready for the impact it would have. I cried to you, and as I reached for you, I feel as if I slipped through your grasp and the Devil had me by the ankle, I slammed to the fire below and for the moment the darkness had me. The darkness that remained in my heart, the pain of the years of struggle, festering beneath the surface like a cancer, had control, and I wasn’t me for a moment.

When I succumbed to the darkness, you never left my side. As I slipped away your Angels swooped down from Heaven and grabbed me. I don’t know why you saved me, but here I am. It’s been over a year now, and I sit and wonder what’s next my Lord? I have devoted a year to teach and preach your word. I have continued now, and I pray to you to show me the next step. I have fear and doubt and I beseech you show me the way.

In my solitude I find my wandering mind goes to the past. I find myself facing the emotions from so many trials, that were buried, never to be thought of again. I feel wrestles, yet I can’t seem to find my motivation to stand up and walk. My eyes are stained with tears, crying for my losses. It’s felt like Heaven’s been so far away, and the pain inside seems like it’s lingered, and I struggle to find my way. I feel empty some days and I wonder where you’ve gone. I know it’s the lies from below. I have learned to praise you in the good days, and the bad. I have learned to praise you in the storm. I feel the cold creeping in, and in the howls of the wind and rain, I hear you in this storm. I lift my hands to you my Lord and I trust in you. I trust that no matter how battered and broken I feel you have never left my side. Every life has a purpose, even the bee that pollinates flowers, and makes us honey. Every Life is important, and I will remember it.

My God, I feel broken, please put me back together. Life is confusing right now, and I can’t find my way out of this forest. I feel lost and I can’t find my way. I know that in your time I will be delivered from this struggle, and that in all things your time is perfect. I put my faith in you my Lord, because I know this is not where I belong. Some days my Lord I feel alone, so please give me the strength for me to be the man you want me to be. Give me the strength to face this life, and to continue fighting for your word. Please give me the strength to be more then I am today. Show me the way, so I can be the Soldier you’d have me be. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. I know I don’t have to be strong enough all the time. Be my strength my Lord. I worship you for the answered and unanswered prayers. Today, tomorrow, until the time I come home.