My Care Factor
If you don’t like the truth that’s not my fault. I didn’t choose the rules, or do I pretend to understand why, but the evidence is tallied up and it’s undeniable. The anger that has filled this world and the attacks that fly in the dark, guess what, I’m not getting into the ring with you anymore. I’m not going to be your punching bag all because you can’t handle your own life. I am sick and tired of being the bag and I’m not going to continue to duct tape my leaks. I’m going to move on and pray for the souls of the lost. Hatred, anger, even ignorance isn’t an excuse, and I’m not going to allow you to sit in my life and say my faith is “B**********”. I’m not going to allow someone to disrespect my faith and think that’s ever okay. I have far too much respect for God then to sit back and be okay with that. I didn’t write the rules; I didn’t decide what was okay, and what wasn’t. I won’t allow myself to give up. I won’t allow my night to fade away without fighting back. I will stand and fight, and no matter the chains I’m tied in, I will push myself harder, I will push myself farther, and my God is my faith, my strength, my joy, and no one can steal that from me. When my care factor runs to empty, my Lord restore my cup, fill my chalice till it overflows, for you are great, you are holy, and I am your faithful servant.
As I’ve been considering my position in this life I am realizing I’ve allowed people to sit in it, and talk to me however they want, and I overlook it. I am a human being and I have feelings. I sit here looking at my life and realizing “I would rather stand with God and be judged by the world, than to stand with the world, and be judged by God” It can be a lonely place dealing with the fallout, but as I have come to understand what’s going on in my life, a wildfire purge has started and though I don’t know when it’ll end, I have to have faith that the ground will be fertile and spring forth new relationships, and they will flourish. Romans 12:2 (NKJV)2 “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” Trusting in the Lord and having faith that all things will work out and people are always going to fail you is something one cannot forget. Scripture is clear about putting your faith in the hands of man.
Knowing the reality of this world and facing the real consequences are two different things. The cuts come deep when feelings are dismissed, when words are thrown, and you are no longer a person, but something expendable. I feel lost and discouraged, and I try to shut my feelings off but they come and come, and I face the day one moment at a time. I know God is good to me, and as my frustrations boil over, I trust that God has plans for this time. I will not allow this world to defeat me. I will not back down, and I will say goodbye to any who things I can be disrespected and do nothing. I will not be that person any longer. I will have respect for myself for the first time in my life. I will hold myself higher because no one else will. Today I am weak, but I know I will overcome. I have God on my side, and I will fight these demons that rise up against me.
If you have people who come to use you, to treat you as a punching bag, to only take parts of you and ignore others, then it’s time to set healthy boundaries. It’s time to have respect for yourself, and treat yourself better by not allowing yourself to be beaten down by others. I have open wounds and one by one salt is poured in. I call to my Father to save me, to deliver me from the evil that surrounds me. I call upon my Lord to strengthen me, to show me the sun in the darkness. I will not give in because I have a reason to fight. The darkness will fall and I must wait for the third day for the sun to rise on the East. Things are changing all around me, and I am not sure what to expect tomorrow. As I say goodbye, I know that my Father will never say goodbye to me. The exodus continues, as God has started the wildfire burning down the old. Faith, is all I have.
The Arrow Preacher 