Mud – The Arrow Preacher

Walking Judgments 7-2-17

As I walk through my building with mud from my boots to my knees I am filled with so many negative judgments of myself. I get the impression the people in the building are staring at me. I imagine what they are thinking, and envision the thoughts of disgust and jokes. I felt insecure and embarrassed by my appearance. The more I walked through the building a second judgment started to creep into my mind. No one noticed, I think to myself. Was that true? Had no one noticed in 7 floors did no one notice my dreadful appearance? Then I try to imagine which one was worse, that fact those who did probably passed negative judgments, or that I am so insignificant at my job that no one would notice at all.

Bad judgments all around swirl in an out of thought with little regard of a purpose. It’s hard going through life always casting judgments around like a snow blizzard falling to the ground. We try and try to squish the uprising before they reach the surface, but always too little too late.

Checking The Facts:

I was involved with the rescue of a man who was ejected from his vehicle.
Without going home I was already doing to be 20 minutes late for work
I did a good thing by stopping and helping.
Negative judgments happen and we can’t always change that.

It’s hard to face when we think those thoughts and feelings control our day. The truth is, we often give away so much power to others, and we keep very little for ourselves. The pain we hold onto deep inside is often the reason we give up so much, and allow so much negativity to infect or infest our lives.

Are our biggest self-judgments linked to our biggest fear? I believe the answer is yes. For example my biggest fear is abandonment. When I am dating someone I feel I will not be good enough and they will leave. When I’m working I fear I won’t be good enough at my job, or not be needed at my position. The truth is when it comes to both the judgments of others shouldn’t affect me as much as they do. We obviously know the old saying “sticks and stones my break my bones but names will never hurt me.” We know that’s a crock of crap. We know that words do hurt because were human, and we have feelings. We know that bullying does hurt us, that someone we love when they say cruel things often cut the deepest. The key to overcoming that is repetitive action of telling yourself Jesus loves you, and the judgment of God is the most important thing. We cannot live our lives listening to the lies were told by the world.

Today’s society is obsessed by looks, everything on TV is about looking right, makeup, fashion, and as always TV shows must have the most attractive people on the planet. We watch this worldview all around us and it sinks in and when we look in the mirror we don’t see that perfect image. I myself have struggled with my limitations and even recently as I’ve tried to get back into the dating world, I see myself as a failure. It’s a tough pill to swallow and when it seems there’s so much against you it’s hard not to pass judgments upon yourself. I’m not very good at this myself; I’m not good at keeping a positive attitude about myself. I often think negative thoughts about my looks, my voice, my life, and I often think of myself as a failure in my love life and even my professional life. To top it off as more and more of my close friends are becoming parents I look at my own life and as 7 years with my ex wife came to a close and realizing I still don’t have the family I’ve always prayed for, the children I’ve always wanted, I judged myself to be a failure and I truly felt it deep down into my heart. I realize this isn’t Gods plan for me, and I realize the little voice feeding me the negative emotions, the harmful thoughts are Satan whispering in my ear, and it’s incredibly difficult to ignore.

As I confess my deepest fears, my deepest failings, I don’t do so to gather sympathy, but the opposite, to spread hope. As I have been faced with so much in the last year, and throughout my life, I know that God is still on my side, I know that all these years of pain God’s been there in the trenches with me. “I’ve paid my dues, time after time, I’ve done my sentence but committed no crime. And bad mistakes I’ve made a few. I’ve had my share of sand kicked in my face but I’ve come through… We are the champions, my friends, and we’ll keep on fighting ‘til the end.” We all know the song, we all know Queen’s ‘We are the Champions’. Let me tell you, as long as we have God on our side, we are the champions of this world, because we will live in Eternity with the creator of all. We will overcome all our trials, our troubles, and we will be dubbed champions over death, if we just allow Christ into our lives. In Christ we will always rise above hate, bigotry, fear, sorrow, loss, and disappointment. We never know what tomorrow will bring. We will always feel the rainbow of emotions, but we will always have help getting through the tough days we WILL have. Have faith in the lord. Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understand. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”

The Right Place At The Right Time

This morning I woke up a little before my alarm and decided to get out of bed instead of snoozing a little longer. I got ready and left 20 minutes earlier than normal. I wasn’t more then 10 minutes from the house when I saw headlights in front of me flashing at me. I could see debris in the road and that’s when I saw the car upside down. I pulled over as soon as I could, grabbed my duty belt and ran to the car. The woman who flagged me down was on the phone with 911. I had my flashlight and I started to search for the driver, but they weren’t in the car anymore. I franticly searched the surrounding area and that’s when I saw a man lying on his back in the grass. He was bleeding from him nose, mouth, and several other places of exposed skin. At the time he looked as stable as he could be so I knew not to touch him or move him. You could see he was breathing so that was a good sign. As I realized the 911 dispatcher could get a name using the plate I asked the woman to let me talk to 911. I gave the plate number and that’s when I saw it, in the backseat under the crushed metal of the SUV an infant car seat. My heart fell to the floor as I choked out what I saw to the dispatcher. I handed the phone back to the woman and began looking for a possible infant somewhere in the huge field the car crashed in to.

After a little while of searching the field I returned to the man and found his breathing had changed. He became erratic and it almost sounded like a bit of gurgling coming from his chest. It wouldn’t surprise me if he broke a rib and deflated a lung in the impact. The car from what it looked like impacted about 100 feet away or so against the fence and the embankment and flipped, eventually hitting the fence again in another spot, and flipped once or twice more before impacting the tree where the vehicle settled on it’s roof. The man was roughly 20 feet or so from the vehicle, surprisingly still breathing. The woman and I could hear the sirens now and as the deputy was the first on scene I flagged him down. Within a minute later the ambulance arrived. I left my flashlight on the fence providing light for them to work. As he started to move around a bit, I held is head in place and waited for the paramedics to get all the trauma gear they needed. When they arrived they took over and I went to help the deputies search the field more for the possible injured child.

After 45 minutes on scene the man was long gone as cleanup started. The woman and I waited for the State Troopers to arrive, which sadly didn’t happen before I decided to leave and come to work. I know I was in the right place at the right time, I know that all the mud on my pants and boots tell a story. I know that God placed me right where I needed to be and when. Today I had Gods eyes to see what I needed to, and his Heart so I had the compassion to stop. I had my duty belt with me and I had the gloves, flashlight, everything I needed for the day. God wants us to listen to that little voice in our heads to do something. I left for work 20 minutes earlier than I usually do and now I realize why. Are we listening to the Holy Spirit in our lives? Are we going where we are driven to, listening to that little voice inside us to allow ourselves to be used for the good of Gods will? Galatians 5:25 “If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.” We must listen for the voice, listen for the word. Psalm 25:4-5 “Make me know Your ways, O LORD; Teach me Your paths. Lead me in Your truth and teach me, For You are the God of my salvation; For You I wait all the day.” Our souls can catch the fire, the fire rises in us and we are consumed by the Holy Spirit, and we know we are walking with God.

We never know why something happens the way it does, but we know that in all things God’s working for our good even if we can’t see it. Praise God in the greatness of the day, and the sorrowful of the night for we are never alone.