Moving Forward Always – The Arrow Preacher

Held by a Savior

In the last year my followers have seen that I have experienced some significant hardships, but the thing is, we all do. It’s not about the hardships, it’s about how we survive them. Everyone experiences their own trials, and their own troubles. We all have our tears that pour from our faces, and we all experience pain that while others may be able to sympathize, or empathize with us, it’s our own pain and no one knows exactly what we feel. We all have our stories that can be either inspiration as what to do, or not to. What is it to be a man? What is it to be a woman? I believe the truth is in how we handle our pain and how we endure the cross. Do we endure with dignity that would make people proud, or do we allow our lives to fall apart and crumble beneath our feet?

It’s a fine line I think between falling down, and throwing everything away. It’s okay to not be okay. I think those who actively follow a path of self-destruction are those who throw away. I think those who follow that path forgot how to live life. Life isn’t easy and it was never promised to be. Living life is knowing we have our issues, and finding ways to live our lives by embracing them and using them for the betterment of others, or learning to overcome them. I have PTSD and I am finding how to help others with it. I didn’t get here without falling down. I didn’t get to where I am today without facing down the wrong side life. We fall down and we get back up. We fall down and we have a choice, do we learn to ask for help, or do we try it our way? I don’t mean help by way of friends, family or professional help. I mean God. We are always going to be stumbling through life. We are always going to have one crisis after another, and every time we stumble or fall, we have an opportunity to learn how to ask God for help. True healing, true redemption is through Christ. The blood spilt on Calvary’s cross that day broke the bondage of slaves to sin, for a life free and full of choice to live in the light of Christ, or the shadows of the Devil.

Bad things happen to everyone, but we can choose to overcome. PTSD doesn’t define me, anxiety doesn’t define me, and no matter how much it hurts my childhood, and my divorces don’t’ define me. I didn’t ask for this life of pain and suffering, but here we are. I’m not perfect and I’ve made plenty of mistakes. I have not always held my tongue when I should have. I haven’t always said the nicest of words to my loved ones, but I try hard to be a man God would be proud of. I know my Savior is Christ, and I know that in his blood my mistakes are washed clean. I know that I will fall and make mistakes, but I know in God’s eyes my mistakes aren’t going to condemn me forever. We as a people should learn not to judge so quickly. We should learn to see the mistakes and keep an open mind. We are all human and we all screw up. Instead of a life of judgment, of ridicule, open your heart with love, and see through the eyes beyond the cover.

We have so many blessing in our life and we often overlook them in our waking moments. The gift of life, the breath we take and the days we have are the biggest blessing we take for granted. The poorest of the poor in this nation often have far more then those of other poor nations. We have food, and shelter, and we have people in our lives that care for us. As for me, I have more money then I need, maybe not as much as I want, but needs and wants are very different. I have my dogs, my mother, and I have a warm bed to sleep in. I have my car, and I am debt free. I don’t struggle with bills, and I don’t have to worry where my next meal is coming from. I have friends that care about me, and are there for me when I need them. I know that no matter how dark the darkest day, how deep my pain runs, and I know that no matter how bruised and bettered I become, Jesus is still right there going through it all with me. Jesus is my faithful friend, and the Abba of all is by my side.

I know this year’s been hard, and that I have posted about a lot of hardships and pain, but isn’t that what life is? It’s not about the hardships we endure; it’s how we endure them. Pain comes and when it does we are expected to use the sandals and dig in and hold our ground. Expressing hardships isn’t a sign of weakness or even a sign of complaining (in some cases) it’s about how we can find our strength to persevere in Christ our Savior. We know some days will be great, and others will bring more pain then we think we can handle. We will see the peace of the meadow, and we will face the valley of death, but no matter what our day is, we know one thing is absolutely certain, Christ our Savior is always with us. Psalm 23 “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.”

Remember one thing if nothing else; we are never alone and we never know when our testimony will save someone else. We never know whom we may meet, and how we may affect their life. Let me help you if I can, let me be there for you if you need it. My email is always open if you need to talk about God. We are called to lean on one another and help lift each other up. We are called to bare one another’s burdens and use our tongue to lift up and never to tear down. We always have the opportunity to help our neighbors and I promise you, you don’t have to look far to find someone in need of love. Our world is a fallen one, shrouded in sin and pain. It’s the love we are taught to give that is our hope. We are told to Love as Christ Loved us, and we are told to do this to all of our neighbors, not just the ones we like. We cannot surly do this on our own and we were never expected to. We are taught to turn to one another, turn to God. We know that without Christ we are nothing and without the grace of God we cannot surely do anything. I know that today, yesterday, and tomorrow I’ve always needed my Lord. I am not strong enough alone. I am not brave enough on my own. I know that I didn’t survive Iraq without God’s protecting hands. I know the literal circle of protection surrounding my truck that day was nothing short of a miracle. I know when I was shot that without God’s grace I surly would have died. I know that I have needed God and I always will. The Lord is my Sheppard, my strength, my savior, and I know when I cannot stand I fall on the Lord. Jesus is the only hope I will ever truly need, and as my needs arise, I trust the Lord will provide, and provide always.

Driving Force

What pushes you? Do you have a motivation to push yourself because of a desire to be the best? Do you push yourself to provide for others? Do you do it out of greed, or a need to make the world a better place? We all have our dreams, but how do those dreams affect those around us? We want what we want, but at what cost? The life I’ve lived I have learned to weigh the good of the mission, verses the good of what’s truly important.

In our life we may only get a few chances to finally and fully meet our better half. How often does life get in the way, and divide the home. All I ever wanted in my life was to be remembered for something great. I wanted to make a difference and to leave a legacy for my children to have. I wanted to have a bunch of kids and in that hope and that dream my soul purpose was to make a happy home. All I wanted to do was come runnin’ home to the woman I loved. I tried every day to be a good man, a good husband, a good Christian. The days that unfold in front of us don’t always play by the rules, and we aren’t always given the fair shot.

See, the thing is, for some people the hard work that gains them notoriety, the success and happiness in life, comes with a measure of ease that’s not often true for everyone. No matter the hard work, sometimes things just go badly. What can a man do when he marries a girl, lives a good life, and looses her? When he picks up the pieces and starts over, meeting a new girl, spending more time together, getting married, and when you feel like you’ve got the keys to the city, so many blessings, what can you do when it explodes in your face? The explosion sends shrapnel through your body and you feel like your insides are oozing out onto the ground. How do you triage the worst of the worst and bandage yourself up? There’s something inside us all that forces us to pick ourselves up, and even if we limp on, we still move. For every one of us that driving force is different.

For me, it was God. God spoke to me, and although the words were about forgiveness the act itself was very clear. Go and make disciples. Go and expand the flock, spread the Gospel and fight the good fight. With the hardships of Job, and the mission of Paul, who said this life would be easy? The thing that most people miss when they say they are alone, and although they may be in this world, God is always with them. God is with us when we are broken, and if God spoke to all of us, I’m sure He’d say we are “Broken Together” How many of us wish in adulthood we could go back to simpler times. I myself have been thinking a lot about my time in high school and how simple it was. Do the homework, go to the club meetings, and try to keep up with friends. Friends, seems that concept gets lost as time moves us along. As friends get scattered by the wind it’s harder and harder to keep track of where they go, or rather, they stop keeping track of you. I have stumbled and I’ve fallen, and now I’m at the precipice of my life changing forever and I can’t hear what I’m supposed to do. I’ve tried to quiet my mind and listen, but the storm’s so loud I can’t hear. I’ve doubted myself, I’ve doubted my resolve and now that the time is upon me, I don’t know if I’m making the right choice. The prayers I’m sure are being heard, but I suppose at some point I have to just take the leap, plunge into the darkness and pray that the light of the Lord will shine brightly if nothing else through me. I know that no matter where I am the Lord is with me, and no matter how bad it gets, no matter how bad I feel, no matter the despair I’m in, God is always with me.

Knowing the knife is no longer there it feels as fresh as the day it plunged into my heart. I recently received a small set of cheap throwing knives. I figured I’d expand my list of talents in the hopes of adding more useless bullets to my growing list of useless talents. Knife throwing doesn’t exactly win you prizes with the ladies fathers, and it certainly doesn’t give you a good bullet for a resume. While I wasn’t expecting to be great, I wasn’t expecting to be horrible either. Boy was I wrong. I threw the knife twice, missed the box the first time (my aim sucked) and then threw a second time, and I’m pretty sure I hit the box with the handle side of the knife. For the record I watched an 8 minute video on knife throwing, and I was pretty sure I had a good handle on it, no pun intended. Sadly it started to rain and as I was throwing into a cardboard box, I decided to call it quits. I cleaned off the knife and placed it back in its sheath. While I was sitting here on the couch pondering the nature of this blog, it occurred to me that life is a lot like that experience. I failed my first two tries, but that doesn’t mean I will never get it. Sure the first video isn’t appealing, but neither was the first time I picked up my recurve bow, the arrow completely missed the target bag. You have to keep trying and practicing to be good at something isn’t life the same way? We can’t be expected to get life right all the time. We stumble, we fall, we crash, we love, we loose, and through it all, the only thing we can do is sleep, and wake up the next day and try again. Anything is possible if we only believe, and we have to have the faith in God that anything can be remade. Anything in our life can be fixed, and we can if we have the blessings from God to do so.

Broken Together by Casting Crowns

How I wish we could go back to simpler times
Before all our scars and all our secrets were in the light
Now on this hallowed ground, we’ve drawn the battle lines
Will we make it through the night?

It’s going to take much more than promises this time
Only God can change our minds

Maybe you and I were never meant to be complete
Could we just be broken together
If you can bring your shattered dreams and I’ll bring mine
Could healing still be spoken and save us
The only way we’ll last forever is broken together

I was told recently we could never go back to the way things were. While that’s true, fixing what’s broken isn’t impossible. Though the broken, or shattered lives of the past may never be put back together, all we can do is focus on how we can pick ourselves up. See that’s what the driving force is all about isn’t it? What drives you to get back up when you’ve been knocked down? Why do you get up time and again, why do you stay in the fight? I think it’s important for all of us to review those traits inside each and every one of us. We must know what we fight for, what we want, what our personal code is, and live by it. My code aligns with Gods word the truth. I fight for justice; I fight for truth because truth is sometimes all we have in this world. I don’t like bullies and I stand firm against them even at the cost of myself. I pick myself up because I don’t like the idea of being seen as weak. I don’t like the idea of being deemed a failure. This last year I’ve fought to redeem myself. I fell hard last year, and I lost what I felt was my entire credibility. I felt as if my actions would be the doom of my life forever. While this may or may not be the actual case, some of the facts are undeniable.

Remember though, it’s okay to fall, and it’s okay to get knocked down. The Devil will try to keep you there, and what you need to do is listen to the voice of truth.

Voice of Truth by Casting Crowns

But the waves are calling out my name
And they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I’ve tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again. “Boy, you’ll never win!”
“You’ll never win!”

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says, “Do not be afraid!”
The voice of truth says, “This is for My glory”
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

Don’t listen to the lies, the half-truths, or the feelings of worthlessness the Devil tries to tell you. You know you were perfectly made, and that is what’s important. You need to get back up because even if you’re broken, God uses broken people the most. You may be broken, but you can change the world even when you don’t know how to fix yourself. There’s a song that the Angels sing, and they sing for you. You can be the redeemed and through Christ made new. What drives you? Jesus, Jesus drives me to get back up and to always try to be better. You may not be good at everything, but there’s something you can do and be the best at. Find it, use it, and glorify God with it. Be the best at something, and if you’re going to take a beating in this life at least do it for God. Stand up, and look the Devil straight in the eyes and say, “I can do this all day!” (Captain America)