Evidence Isn’t Fact
What is evidence? Evidence:“the available body of facts or information indicating whether a belief or proposition is true or valid.” While this is true, one must consider that in a crime scene everything is gathered as evidence, and it’s weeded through to determine what is part of the case, and what isn’t.
For many years I’ve looked at a series of situations and placed a verdict based on the evidence, however, recently a new perspective was given to those situations and it’s fundamentally changed my view that all these years, I may have been wrong. In the book Cold Case Christianity By, J Warner Wallace explains the need to be objective when looking at the evidence at a crime scene. He describes a homicide and the importance of having an objective mindset free of any preconceived dispositions. I was looking at only one piece of evidence and I wasn’t examining the big picture. While the one small piece of evidence alone could have given me the end conclusion, those facts with other facts however offer a different explanation of the events. How foolish I’ve been for so long, believing I was the total cause. I put so much weight on the fact that just because I was present in different situations that I was the cause for those things to happen. I believed my self worth was based on the outcome of these cumulative events. I couldn’t have been more wrong.
I have spent years coming to a conclusion about myself, and while this new point of view is new, and exciting, change doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time to retrain your brain to believe something. Overwriting the original code isn’t easy, but when you consider your brain being a computer, and you need to change an idea, or a behavior, you must first learn how to hack in to the brain, and then you must learn to write new code to overwrite the old. This isn’t easy, and it takes time, but if it’s important to you, you can do it.
When you need to know what truth is, if you’re questioning where you stand, and you’re not sure where you should stand, scripture is clear, Romans 8:31“What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” God is always behind us, next to us, in front of us, protecting us and if we are listening guiding us to safety. We cannot stay in our pain or sorrow. We must not focus on the people that hurt us, or those who leave us. While it’s true, people may say things that are harmful, even walk away from a friendship because they are hurting, but all we can do is pray, try to realize it may not be at fault for their departure.
Having friends leave is absolutely heartbreaking, especially when there isn’t a clear reason. The pain felt as it feels that yet another person is abandoning what seemed to be a good relationship cannot be understated. While many may look at a departure as ‘their loss’ for me and my injuries over the years it’s harder for me to look at it that way because of the cumulative effect. Having to look back over the years and evaluate my part in failed friendships, relationships, marriages, I have to understand that that I may not be at fault in each instance. I need to understand that while there will be some culpability; it may not be more then 50%. The losses I’ve experienced just in the last seven days alone have been hurtful and have created a resurgence of a worthless stance of my self-esteem.
I’ve struggled a great deal with the wonder and question as to why so many have left. It’s been said that I feel more deeply than some, that I hold on tighter than others, and in that, I hurt so much more when people show I am not valued in their life. I turn to scripture for guidance and peace, and while wounds are fresh, it can be difficult to find comfort so quickly. But, as a faithful Christian, I know that God can heal, and help my soul, and mend my broken heart. Psalm 34:18 (NKJV)18 “The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit.” God is with me no matter the day, no matter the hour and it’s in His presence that peace will be given. 1 Chronicles 16:11 (ESV)“Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually!”
While I started writing about looking at the evidence as to why those have left my life, I was faced with that very thing in the writing of this post. I don’t know or understand why someone would leave when I thought my presence was actually wanted and appreciated in their life. I don’t believe I did anything harmful, or hurtful, or intrusive, but I cannot allow the actions of others to define who I am. I know I try to serve others by being there for them, by helping them, by being Godly counsel for them, and trying to be what I can to help. This help isn’t always wanted, and sometimes as I mentioned in yesterdays post https://thearrowpreacher.wordpress.com/2018/10/09/parasite/
Some people may come into your life and take all they can and leave when they’ve had their fill. This is an inevitable part of life as a counselor, pastor, or doctor. You won’t always be able to help everyone, you can’t always save everyone, and no everyone wants to be saved. All we can do is step back, and peal it off of our own hearts and give it up to God. This may be one of the hardest things to do as a Christian, and in a position where you are a giver and a protector to those in pain, hurting, and suffering. The evidence is, clear, and tallied, that sometimes you have done all you can and it wasn’t ever going to be enough because some things are just out of your control. A little boy left alone in a blood filled house, has no control over the actions of those around him. A girl who’s mother walked away and chose to have nothing to do with her daughter and the anger and resentment built over a lifetime, sometimes there’s nothing that little girl can do to fix anything when mom passes away unexpectedly. It hurts, and the pain and grief is very real. We all do things when we hurt, and sometimes we are just caught in the crossfire of life innocent and free from blame. Life up one another, and be there for one another. Don’t let time pass you by in anger because by the time you want to make amends, it may be too late. We may look at the evidence spread around us, but it takes a trained, unbiased eye to root out what is part of the incident, and what’s just there.
Go with God, and trust in God to see you through the darkest of storms. It’s hard to do, but seek Godly counsel, and friends who will help carry you through. God will always give us the tools we need to do any job, but we must look for them and put forth effort. No matter what happens, as time goes on, we will be faced with tough situations, and hard times, and it’s in those times when we are hurt we must forgive, and pray. We can’t allow the pain to build, along with the anger, to stay with us because it will affect every aspect of your lives, and mine as well. Walk in peace, and love, and forgiveness. Walk knowing we are forgiven for being sinners, as we will forgive others for sinning against us. We must ask for forgiveness for those we have wronged, and understand we aren’t always at fault for the things that happens to us. Don’t hold weight for things you aren’t responsible for, but be a Christian and take responsibility for what your actions have caused. Don’t get caught up in the past, and make sure you are looking at situations objectively.
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The Arrow Preacher 