HOLD ME

 HOLD ME

My God my God I need your love. I need your grace, and I need your mercy. My God my God, I am lonely at night, and I need your love. My God my God, I’m afraid at night even though I fight with all my might. The silence in my world, I hate these silent nights. I want to calm my heart from the storm inside. My God my God, I’m on my knees, I’m praying to you oh Lord. Wrap me in your arms tonight and protect me. My God my God I trust in you, I believe in you. My God my God you can protect me from all these problems, you can free my soul, and bring me peace today.

My God my God please Hold Me today for I am weary. My God I read your words, and I hear your voice. I know of Isaiah 41:10Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” I feel you here, and I stay on my knees. I know you Love me my God, and I know I am safe. I know that in time this nightmare will leave me.

Oh my God I trust in you. Ephesians 3:17-19So that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.” When the storm inside is strong, and it thunders so loud in the silence, I pray to you my Lord. Quiet the storm and protect my spirit.

My enemies are vast oh Lord, but not of man, of the loneliness I feel. Romans 5:8But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” I know you gave me so much Lord, and I know I should not ask, but put your arms around me Lord and protect me this day. 1 John 4:16So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.”

 Today, or this night my Lord, you will provide me happiness in your Holy Name. I trust in you, and I know that in my heart you are with me. One day I will find what I seek according to your will my Lord. You will raise me up, and protect me. You will give me serenity in my time of crisis. I do not hate my enemies Lord, and I pray for those who’ve brought forth pain unto me. I believe in you, and your commandments my Lord. 1 John 4:19We love because he first loved us.”

When I rest my head to sleep, I trust in you to give me peace. When I rest my soul I know where my truth resides. I tear down my walls and trust in you. I’m not looking for a miracle, just looking for some peace of mind. I know all things are possible Lord and in your time. Hold me tonight let me know it’s going to be all right. I am on my knees praying for a win, praying for a change, and I know it’ll happen. You gotta have faith, and I’ve got faith.

 

I’m not going back

I’m not going back

 We can’t live our lives in the past. We can’t focus on the shoulda’s, the coulda’s, the woulda’s. When the bad things in life come and go we can’t stay in the past. We can’t focus on the negatives; we can’t focus on why things happened, or the how. We can evaluate the problem and create a solution to prevent it from happening again, but once created you have to implement, and move forward. Living in the past is unhealthy, and dangerous. When we live in the past we never live in our present, and damage our future. When we put the past in a box and never deal with it, like the left over’s in the box in the fridge the past will come back to haunt you with a vengeance.

When you find Jesus in your life it’s like the veil has been removed, taken off forever. Why would you want to go back? Why would you want to live under the thumb of Satan? When your heart opens to God, you can’t put that gene back in the box. When you are convicted with the Holy Spirit it changes everything about you, the who you are, the what you do, the why you do it, the how you do it, everything, every cell in your body feels supercharged and altered forever.

When the past is gone, and you wish you go back to an event, a time, a long lost love, a last conversation with a friend before he died, a loved one before she left on a trip and that was the last happy day, we all feel this way. When we have our ghosts in the past, and we can’t seem to move forward, we can’t seem to breath, we need to remember that the past is gone, but we can choose to turn around and move back to God.

We can never take back the things we say, the things we do, but we can repent for them. I will never go back to the old me. I will never fall victim to pain and suffering like I did again. I know where my home is now, and I know that His love won’t ever let me fall again. I know I’m not alone. I know my blessings are many and the Lord is my Savior, my one true King. I know that God has given to me the best friends anyone could ever ask for. I’ve got the best pastors a man could ever have for spiritual guidance. I have what’s important in my life and I won’t ever sacrifice my self-respect again. When someone hurts you, you don’t stick around for him or her to do it gain. No future is without pain, no future is without trials but the world can only do so much when we have faith.

With my eyes and heart open to Jesus I know that my soul is safe. I am the most humble, the most stable, the most clear-headed I’ve ever been, and with this being the toughest trials in my life, I’m free. I would choose the “red” pill every time. I want to see how deep this rabbit hole goes, and I absolutely don’t want to take the “blue” pill “wake up in my bed and believe whatever I want to believe.” (matrix) It’s true though. God cannot be kicked out once in. Once that connection is made it can be pushed out but the damage is severe. Our father is a loving God, but sometimes loving your children takes punishing them for being bad. Feel free to try and go head to head with God…. Pretty sure you’ll loose.

I can’t go back to where I was before, I wish I could some days, but had I not gone through that crucible I wouldn’t be where I am today, I wouldn’t be writing this blog, I wouldn’t be reaching lives, preaching the good wood, and teaching. The path behind me is closed and moving forward is the only way. Put it into high gear and watch as the lights fly by you. Jump onto this one way street.

The Passage of Time

The Passage of Time

We are all here for a time. We never know how long we have, or even how to spend the time we have. We are often plagued with missed chances, regrets can plague us, regrets of the things we do, and the things we don’t do. What drives us to go to bed and wake up every morning? We wake up in the morning because of Romans 5:6 “For while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.” We aren’t helpless anymore. We are free from our chains, of our bondage, and we are still just as free to make our decisions as we ever were. Of course however for every action there is a reaction, a consequence. Our actions in this world have consequences and we will one day be led to answer for them. Galatians 6:99 And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.” If we spend our time treating others badly it’s only a matter of time before that catches up with us. If we pursue Godly avenues and Godly pursuits, we will be blessed by it.

Ecclesiastes 9:12 “Moreover, man does not know his time: like fish caught in a treacherous net and birds trapped in a snare, so the sons of men are ensnared at an evil time when it suddenly falls on them.” The only thing we know is death is certain. We will never know the when, or how, but one day our hearts will stop, our eyes will close. When that day comes and we are face to face with the creator and we are put on trial for our sins, how will we say we used our time?

No matter the distance we’ve traveled, what’s important is how we’ve handled the travel. Have faith that no matter what happens good or bad in our lives, 1 Peter 5:66 Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time:” We should not find ourselves impatient. Things may not go as fast as we’d like them to go, but we do live in a fast food society. We want everything right now, and we want it our way. We are spoiled. We need to find patience for our patience. It may not be in our time, but it’ll be the right time.

In God We Trust

In God We Trust

 Do we trust in the Lord? Do we have faith that God is not only in control of the big picture, but the little stuff as well? Does God fit inside the little box we’ve created for Him? Joshua 1:9 “9 Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.” It’s easy to say not to be afraid, but are we really free from that servitude? Are we slaves to fear, are we slaves to worry, I believe we are. Matthew 6:24 “No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.” Mammon is wealth, or money. The interesting thing about money is the saying on our own money that often goes unnoticed or forgotten.

Do we really give our all to Christ? Are we faithful in our giving, are we faithful in our love, are we faithful in our prayers, our empathy? Psalm 37:4-6 “4 Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. 5 Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring [it] to pass. 6 And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday.”

 During the three years Jesus taught, it’s said a minimum of 4 times ‘Ye of little faith’. There is no doubt that we do not have the strength we should. We allow the world to beat us down, to torture us and we give reaction to it. Sure we feel pain, we feel sorrow, but if we have enough faith to trust what we can’t see, trust what we don’t understand, we may actually find peace in our day.

What is peace? Peace is a state of mind, not just peace or war. Finding peace is obtainable in this world, but we must be in a state of constant vigilance. Peace doesn’t mean that war won’t come it just means that when it does it won’t destroy who you are. Be at peace with yourself, and know that God’s will can turn any heart, heal any ailment, forgive any sin, and save any life. 2 Thessalonians 3:16 “Now the Lord of peace himself give you peace always by all means. The Lord [be] with you all.” The Lord gives us the ultimate peace, the peace of forever, eternal salvation.

The final word I leave on this is John 16:33 “These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” Peace is not of this world, it’s of eternity and that is why no matter the trial we face in this world, we can handle with grace and dignity.

I myself have not always handled every situation that way. I’ve been known to over react from time to time. I’ve had times where the world felt like it was falling down upon my head, where I would never be able to breath again, but God as my witness, even when death seemed to be knocking at my door, the post card was sent to death apologizing for the inconvenience, but my reservation had to be postponed once more. The day may come when my body sleeps and wakes no more, but God willing, not any time soon. Sorry death, not today.

From the Ashes

From the Ashes

 Even through the most gut wrenching tragedies we can find comfort in the ashes that are left behind. If a house burns to the ground, as long as the foundation is solid you can rebuild. I’m by no means saying this is an easy or short process, but nothing in this life worth having is easy to get.

In loosing your house the things inside may not all be replaceable, but the true meaning is that which you hold in your heart. Its just stuff, and that stuff can be replaced. The important thing is you have your life. The same goes when a relationship figuratively burns to the ground. We must realize that from those ashes new beginnings, a new stronger, better relationship awaits us. As we all want comfort in this world, we all want to feel loved, the comfort of another person cannot come first. Our first relationship must be, and always be Jesus.

Jesus is the one relationship we must have. Jesus must come first and the rest will fallow. Fallow faithfully and God will not let you down. The people on Earth may, things may not always go the way you want it, but if you lift your heart, and let heaven rule over you, that foundation will not be cracked or broken in anyway.

God’s alive in our hearts, and shows us his power every day. As David wrote Psalm 23 23 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.”

 No matter the trials we face, or the hurt we survive, we must always rise out of the ashes from our lives stronger, more beautiful and better then before. Sometimes the best survival stories are those that the heart is all we have left. With our heart centered on God we can overcome anything. Just as Job’s life was destroyed, everything he held most dear, everything he loved was taken from him. Job 42:6 “Wherefore I abhor [myself], and repent in dust and ashes.” Within scripture there is one story after another but things working out, happening right when it’s supposed to. People are right where they need to be when they need to be there. Look in Esther, she was in the right place at the right time to save her people to help her Uncle unveil a treacherous plot.

Ephesians 2:8 “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God,” In this it’s Gods time and grace that saves us. When hope is gone, when flesh has failed, when love is lost, when death is all around you, when fear fills your lungs and every breath.

As I stated earlier Psalm 23:3-4He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.” Do not be afraid of the fire. Do not be afraid of the ashes. Embrace the fire, and rise above. Climb up through the filth and survive and thrive. Make new what was once lost. Rebuild better, rebuild the way you want your life. If you are living with God by your side, being the person God wants, the future holds endless possibilities.

Heartbreak

Heartbreak

The word isn’t one to get tossed around lightly. I believe there are different kinds of pain associated with loss, and even that loss has different levels. When we loose a loved one, family, we feel the sinking hole left in their absence. What happens when the loved one is a spouse? This type of loss can be the most painful. There’s a difference in pain from where they die, and lost by personal choice. That is a different kind of pain entirely.

When you find yourself in deep love with someone, and you believe in your heart that love is by definition 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 “4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, 5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; 6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; 7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. 8 Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.” The only source of truth that’s suitable is this. Love is a tricky thing. We all say we feel love, but I dare say most do not ever live up to 1 Corinth. I would say the biggest issue is that of loyalty. When the loyalty fails, the so called love one used to feel disappears, and all that’s left is the bitterness of years passed, a pesky reminder that’s more like limb or appendage being removed by force.

After 7 years and overcoming as many obstacles as any family could, it would seem that the journey to creating a family would finally be on its way when fate it seems would hold a different direction indeed. We never truly know what would happen in given situations, but rest assured, when the time comes to be tested, sometimes a bad situation a dire event can cause a chain of events that are capable of taking everything you’ve ever built to the bedrock. It’s in those moments when your character is most tested.

After one set back after another, one crushing blow following another, the heart can only break so much before rebuilding must occur. Many people deal with heartbreak in different ways. Some will recluse themselves from the world. They hide in their comfort zone for how ever long and they don’t let anyone in to help them. They want to be alone in their pain, and for some this is okay. Others bury their pain and seek comfort in others. Some seek sexual comfort in many partners, and they do this long enough till one day they find themselves out of control, or worse pregnant or an unexpected father. Some people choose substances to hide or manage their pain. Substances like prescription pills, alcohol, or elicit drugs to name a few. Other forms of addiction may form, this includes gambling, throwing themselves into sports or video games, some instances sex becomes the addiction. Regardless, these addictions, these methods of coping do nothing but hurt in the long run.

Some resort to self inflicted harm. Most women use small razors to cut themselves, the legs, arms, some place that can be easily hidden from the world. Self-harm or mutilation is an extreme coping mechanism. This also is the unhealthiest one. Men however use more violent measures, guns, different kinds of pain.

No matter the form of coping you find yourself in, no matter how far along you’ve gone down a road of self destructive behavior it’s never too late to change your life. The road to recovery especially when we are hurt intentionally over and over again can be incredibly difficult and time consuming.

There are many passages of scripture that can be found to help those in need, those who suffer from a broken heart.

Psalms 147:3 “He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.”

 Psalms 73:26My flesh and my heart faileth: [but] God [is] the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever.”

1 Corinthians 13:7Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.”

Psalms 55:22Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.”

 Whichever course your life has gone down, whatever coping mechanism you have, however deeply you’ve been wounded know there is always help out there for you. The future though cloudy and uncertain for us all may not be what you had envisioned, but you can build any future you wish. It’s said God does not close a door unless it’s for a good reason, and with that reason a window shall be open for you instead. It’s not for us to know why sometimes, bad things happen, but instead embrace them. Today’s pain may lead to great and wonderful things tomorrow. God isn’t Santa but with prayer and showing we can handle the blessings, the many gifts God has to offer us, we may find joy once more.

The pain felt in a single message can be horribly tender to our heart. The heart can ache with an intensity we may feel is never going to go away but in reality it always heals, even if the scar is an unsightly one. The sorrow from knowing she’s at the very least on the surface happy is a tough pill to swallow. How can we expect to live a happy life when the little things remind us so much of what we’ve lost, what we had? Distance yourself from external pain sources, but remember we can rebuild, and we can build new memories. Love is a cherished emotion, but it’s not something to come around lightly. God doesn’t want us to be alone, but understand the time and place far better then we do. Love if we are not ready for it will just turn out disastrous. Love when we are susceptible for great things, will be a beautiful gift.

No matter where you are in the process, just remember we must grow we must be ready for love and believe when it’s our time we will not fail. Love is a gift, and we should not be too impatient, even if that’s all we want to do. The future may not be in focus, but the turn around the bend may be greater then you know. Have faith.

 

 

Pushing Buttons

Pushing Buttons

Do you ever push someone’s buttons just to see where it goes? Do you ever try to get under their skin because you can? Do you ever get them aroused because you can? What about someone you aren’t close to anymore. Do you try to hurt someone out of spite? When you love someone how does that love turn to contempt? What happens to someone to create so much anger or hatred or contempt?

Ephesians 4:22 “You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires;”

Ephesians 4:29Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.”

Anger breeds from sin. Anger can also come from your own dislike or hatred for yourself. Being miserable in your own life can cause you to lash out at others. James 1:20 “Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.”

 Proverbs 16:7 “When a man’s ways are pleasing to the Lord, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.” No matter the buttons that are pressed or the anger that it may bring, conduct yourself with honor and a manner pleasing to God. Remember to love thy enemies, and take no vengeance for yourself. Romans 12:10 “Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.” Loving your enemies is possibly the hardest things you will ever do. Luke 6:27 “But I say to you people who are listening to me, love your enemies. Do good to those who hate you.” Matthew 5:44But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”

 No matter the pain inflicted, as much as we can love one another, forgive like Jesus asked to have us forgiven. As we did not deserve the forgiveness of our Father we received it just the same. Never give up on love, and never give up on those who hurt us. A lifetime is a long occasion, and through God all things are possible. People can change through Christ. Have faith, and pray. All our life will be accounted for and we must answer to the Lord for everything we do, every word spoken. Be right with God for we never know when the day of judgement will arrive.

Don’t Let Life Pass You By

Don’t Let Life Pass You By

So many times in life we miss opportunities or chances to do things we want. When opportunities in life slip through our fingers the regrets that are left behind can be powerful. It’s hard to ‘live life’ without regrets. Sometimes we regret doing things, or regret not doing things. It’s tough though struggling with your decision one way or another. We can’t let ourselves be directed by fear, or controlled by indecision.

There are a vast number of things we regret not doing, we don’t kiss the girl, we don’t sky dive, we don’t ask out that boy we like, we don’t try out for the position or ask for the raise we want. What prevents us from reaching out is fear, fear of rejection, ridicule, or failure. There are a lot of sad truths out there but we rarely swing for the fence afraid of striking out. When we are too scared to try, we will never succeed.

James 4:14 “Whereas ye know not what [shall be] on the morrow. For what [is] your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.”

 Do not be foolish with the gifts God has given to you, but don’t be afraid to take risks either. To be a leader takes courage and risks. As Captain Kirk said to Captain Harriman “Risk is part of the game, you want to sit in that chair.” We only know how far we can go if we take the risks to get there. We don’t know where the frontier is and the great things we can accomplish if we don’t step out of our comfort zone. One of my favorite songs ‘What if I gave everything; by Casting Crowns’ “So afraid of what it might cost to follow you. I’d walk by faith if I could get these feet to move.”

 2 Corinthians 5:7 7 “For we walk by faith, not by sight.” If we gave it our all, our best every day, if we learn to take risks, and learned to swim beyond what we felt was far enough, fear wouldn’t control us.

In this life we only get one shot sometimes to be great, to get the girl, to get the job, to have the experience of a lifetime. We must learn to fly. Romans 8:31 “What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?” If God is on our side the worst that can happen is failure, rejection. It’s in those times we learn the most. We cannot live in fear, we cannot live in doubt, so take a chance, and see how far you can get. Greatness starts with that first step outside your door, but you have to take that chance. No time like the present. Everything in this life takes work to get. Follow by faith.

Take Aim

Take Aim

The Devil targets the strongest of Gods warriors to try and break them down, break the bond with God. The Devil is relentless, never resting to destroy all we have worked for. The mistakes we can make can change our lives forever. The Devil can only win if when he knocks you to the mat you stay down. Draw that breath, and like an arrow, when life draws you back, prepare to fly by never giving up. Never surrender to the Devil and always draw your bow and shoot forward. Dig in your boots and prepare for the storm. If God is for us who then will be against us. Take aim and like your arrows, you can fly through the air to hit your target. Gods love and grace is where our aim should be. We may not always hit our target, we may not always be able to withstand the attack and stay on our feet, but with the whole armor that our Lord and Savior has given us we too can stand as soldiers for God. We can fight the fight everyday. When you get knocked down, never be afraid to extend your hand to God to help lift you back up. God will never leave you, God will never forsake you. God loves his children.

The Rain

The Rain

The rain brings forth life, it makes the grass grow, the plants flowers, it fills the wells with the water we drink. When we think of relationships, life, we are left with images of sunny days, and to represent the bad, stormy ones. The rain comes all the time. It is feared by some that the rain will take everything, and sometimes it does. Are we afraid of the changes that come from a long rain? The flood, the raging waters that can destroy everything we hold most dear. Matthew 7:25-27 “25 Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. 26 But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. 27 When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.” We must learn to build our lives on a solid foundation. Do not fear the rain for if you know your stance, know the platform in which you live your life, nothing can destroy you.

 There’s a saying in the military ‘Embrace the suck’. It means own the struggles. Embrace the hardships, the heartbreaks, the tragedies, and learn how to turn the horrible things into advantages. Akido and Jujutsu are very common martial art forms that use an enemies energy and movements against them. In such fashion I believe we can use the attacks of the Devil to our advantage. If we loose our job because of someone, or the whiles of the Devil are playing games with you, find a better one. Change your direction. If a relationship falls apart then find one that suits you better.

If we embrace the rain and use it, let the terrible things give us strength. Own the anger and don’t let it rule you. Habakkuk 1:2-4 “O Lord, how long shall I cry, and thou wilt not hear! even cry out unto thee of violence, and thou wilt not save! 3 Why dost thou shew me iniquity, and cause me to behold grievance? for spoiling and violence are before me: and there are that raise up strife and contention. 4 Therefore the law is slacked, and judgment doth never go forth: for the wicked doth compass about the righteous; therefore wrong judgment proceedeth.” The question is why does God allow this to happen. God answers in verse 5 “Behold ye among the heathen, and regard, and wonder marvelously: for I will work a work in your days which ye will not believe, though it be told you.” Being prepared for more, the battle the awaits us, is it possible that the rain is perhaps a blessing and we just can’t see it? I’m sure if we look hard enough we can actually see our blessings even in the deepest of tragedies.

After the hardest rains we are left with beautiful sunshine, beautiful rainbows, and a sense thanks to have survived it. When it rains go out into it and dance. Have faith you will not be harmed, have faith that in this life there are simple truths. Those truths are this life is but temporary in nature. When this life ends the rain is no more and sunshine is all we will know. If we do not embrace our challenges how do we know our true potential? You may not have ever liked the rain, but now I urge you to look at your challenges, your personal rain clouds differently. What is it doing for you, find the lesson to be learned, the changes you can make. Instead of sitting inside and being sad about the rain go out into it and dance and sing. Not saying every challenge is easy to overcome, but at the very least try.

Lamentations 3:22-23 22 Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. 23 They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”