Tag: love

All our Hope

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All our hope

All we can do is drop to our knees and pray, placing all our hope in Jesus. I know I’m not worthy to inherit the Kingdom of Heaven, but God is big and I am small. Some people are cruel, and manipulative. Pray to God for their souls, pray to God for the change that needs to happen.

I’ve been down on my knees a lot lately. I’ve been taken to the emotional woodshed, and all I can say is Thank God yesterday’s gone. Im no stranger to pain, no stranger to heartache and heartbreak, but I’m free and I’m saved in the Blood of Christ. We can be beaten, tortured, we can loose it all on this world, and we can be broken down, we can be so hurt we may not feel like we can breathe anymore, but if you can still draw breath, then the hope in Christ, all our sins are forgiven, our tears will one day be wiped away, and the pain of yesterday will be gone.

There’s nothing anyone can do to take your salvation away. Your heart for Jesus will outlive your pain, the attacks you will face daily. ‘If you can take it you can make it’ unbroken.

A Journey In The Darkness

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A Journey in the darkness

Psalm 91:4 “He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.”

The joys of this life can be easily snuffed out in the mists of dark days, of struggles, and of heartbreak. When the days get you down you have to be strong. It’s so easy to fall into darkness and despair. I’ve seen it happen in my own life, and in the lives of many that I know. Despair is a dangerous and sometimes deadly trap. Despair can easily turn into quicksand and drag you down, and must like the Dementors in the famed Harry Potter books, it can suck the happiness right out of your lungs and make you feel like you’ll never be happy again. One thing in my own life I’ve found is how fickle some friends can be. Since my gun shot wound a year ago I’ve found more and more friends are fickle and come around only when they want something, or they are bored and know you’ll be there as a last resort.

While there’s no doubt that this hurts, and I know I can’t be the only person that goes through this, what hurts the most is the exodus that’s occurred. While I realize that bullet changed my life, and while I am responsible, the feeling of loss from the mass abandonment that was left behind is heart breaking. Now over a year later, I’ve had another exodus from obvious different causes, but never the less the pain is the same. This presents a new kind of struggle, and yet again staring at the brink of darkness, and once more unto the breach. The war continues and as there is a great sense of loss, I am left with one undeniable fact, that I am not alone. Though the case may be that while physically and emotionally I am or feel alone, God is always there with me. While this doesn’t take away the desire and drive to meet someone special, or want to make new local friends, it does prevent me from falling into complete and total despair.

I know at the end of the day when I’m feeling down and I’m feeling blue, I know that my future is much brighter then it appears because I know that my Abba is looking out over me. I swore no matter how bad it got I would never stair down the wrong side of that circumstance again, and that I would be an advocate for finding another way. There is always hope as long as we breath, and while I am lonely, while my Christmas wish is to find love, and to not being alone anymore, and to make some good local friends, I know that God is with me and in time, those things will be mine, because it’s what my deepest desire is from my heart. I may not always makes the right choices, but I try to.

If you’re feeling despair this season reach out, find someone. If you’re happy as can be this holiday season, reach out to your friends or family that are having a hard time. Don’t forget this is both the happiest time of year, and often the saddest. Faith is so important, and even when it’s sometimes hard, don’t loose hope, and never give up. Don’t ever forget that you can be protected under Angels wings, and your God, the King of all is powerful enough to handle any situation, every tear, every cut, you aren’t suffering through it alone. God is not just watching, God experiences it all with us. Rest assure you will make it out, and one day you will make it home, a home of pure perfection.

 

 

 

Breaks my Heart

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Breaks my Heart

Going into this holiday season it breaks my heart to think about all those people out there who are suffering, who’ve lost everything, who feel hopeless. It breaks my heart to think about all those people who are without homes, without family, and have so much less then I do. I was just in Hawaii and the number of homeless is staggering. I’ve been all over the world and I’ve seen what poverty looks like up close. I’ve seen homes made of mud and no floors. I’ve seen houses made of scrap metal and tin, and we in America take for granted many of the gifts we have. It breaks my heart those who suffer from heartbreak this time of year. How many people suffer through divorce, or death, or loss of jobs this time of year? This time of year is hardest on people, and also the most joyful, but we can’t forget what it’s all about.

 

It’s hard being alone not having someone to share this time of year with. I miss going Christmas shopping, and cuddling by the fire watching Christmas movies. I miss sharing a glass of eggnog, and awaiting the look on my love’s face when they open the perfect gift. It’s a hard time for me this year, and even as hard as it is for me, I know others, many, many others, have it so much then myself. I feel more connected to the suffering of others this year then I have in the past.

 

This time of year we remember the goodness in our lives. We remember that the Son of the Lord was born and we celebrate the birth of our Savior. We celebrate the birth of a Child that would grow to take our sins upon himself and pay for our sins in innocent blood. The Lord blesses us every day and we often take those blessings for granted. When I look at all the suffering in this world I feel so small, what can I possibly do?

 

When I was in Hawaii recently I looked around and realized how blessed I was. I was in a wonderful place, with beautiful caring people, and I thought about those who where far worse off then me. All we can do is believe that God’s in charge and have faith that it’s working out. We have the ability to change the lives of those around us, if we just have the eyes and the heart to fight for change. We can’t always change or save everyone, but we can try.

 

Remember this time of year isn’t about the shiny baubles, the gifts, the shiny lights and colors, it’s about the good will towards your fellow neighbors. It’s about celebrating the birth of our savior Jesus Christ. We need to take a step back from the commercials, the drive to shop till you drop, and all the other things that draws your attention from the true beauty of our holiday. Of course enjoy the holiday and all that goes will, just make sure you don’t loose that focus. Take a little thought and pray for those who are less fortunate. It’s cold this time a year and there are families without food, without heat, and many without a home. Pray for them, and do something nice. Good will towards your fellow humans. Be kind, and be generous.

The Real Superhero’s Thanksgiving

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The Real Superhero’s Thanksgiving

What are we thankful for? This last year has been one of the hardest of my life. In that struggle however, I’ve had many blessings, and I’ve found great strength in Christ. It’s in that strength that we find ourselves thankful. What are we thankful for? Me personally in this last year I find myself thankful for my mother who’s been an incredible help to me this year. I am debt free which is an amazing feeling. 1 have been blessed getting so much worked out this year. I’ve gotten my finances finalized as I’m not Debt Free! I’ve gotten a slight increase in my VA disability, and I’m safe and sound in a home.

While not every plans works out to our likening, we must still be thankful for what we have, and what we don’t. God turns our mess into a message. We can take comfort knowing that no matter what happens good or bad, we can be thankful for the sacrifice Christ made for us and know that our salvation came at a great cost, and yet it was paid in full. No matter the dark skys, the storms that rage, you need to ride it out, and when the wave comes you need to take the opportunity to pop up and ride it. The storms will split and the SON is still just beyond the clouds always there.

Be thankful to the real superhero Jesus Christ. He fought and overcame death itself. But in our lives, I want to remind everyone to give thanks to those in harms way today. Our military, law enforcement, first responders, and firefighters are all part of our nations superheroes. They are working today to ensure everyone is safe. While they are away from their families today say a prayer for them and be thankful. I challenge everyone to find the smallest things to be grateful and list them out. You can find thanks in everything we have big and small. No matter the season, set that aside today, and be thankful. Enjoy the festivities of today even if things aren’t perfect for you.

I know all too well how it can be sad, but there’s worst things in this life. I have family, my dogs, and things aren’t bad. I challenge you all to post a comment about what you’re thankful for today.

Back To Life

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Back to life

The return to my normal life came back like a kick in the face. Less then 24 hours after my return I find myself right back in the war. My first appointment was supposed to be easy and straight forward and yet the VA’s propensity for failure is never without a small sense of irony.

While the appointment wasn’t a total loss, it was a quick reminder I’m no longer in paradise and I needed to be ready to pick up arms again and be ready for the impending fight.

When you return from a vacation, or in my case an intense clinic of physical and psychological exorcises designed to push, motivate, and rejuvenate your soul, it’s a challenge returning to life and watching as the difficulty continues.

It’s important to stay focused and realize that just because there are hiccups in the road doesn’t mean all is lost. I’m finding myself in a struggle to manage the emotional roller coaster, but as far as frustrations go, breaking out in chronic hives is high on my list. Breathing and trying to recall the serenity prayer is a big step for me to remaining focused on the big picture.

On the water

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On the water

While plans may change sometimes suddenly, the key to happiness is not letting those things knock you off your keel. You need to remain solid in your footing and learn to brace with the waves. When life’s gets into rough seas you have to learn how to deal and adapt to the changing winds and learn to navigate without your ship sinking. While there will always be times when you may loose a lot, always hope and continue to sail the open seas.

Be sure to remain flexible, but firm. Stand your ground against the sin, and relax when you can about the small stuff that really doesn’t matter. While plan A, and plan B fell through today, plan C actually worked out pretty darn well. While we are on this great adventure I find myself being reconnected to people, and for me, since it’s been too long, feels great. I haven’t felt connected in a long time.

We must learn to take advantage of the ups when we are there, and much like surfing, use the wave to propel you but never stop paddling till you stand up to ride it. When we get the perfect ride we can’t miss those opportunities. Never give up hope your wave will arrive, you just have to be patient and it’ll come. Have faith in the Lord and when it’s your run, you’ll be given the perfect ride.

There’s some peace on the water that you don’t usually find in other places. The only other place I found peace was at the top of the mountain looking over the earth from such a high place. In the grand scheme of things you are so small in comparison, and instead of feeling small and insignificant, it made me feel so much more important because if the world is truly so big, and I am so small, how special am I to know that the King of all things took the time to create me, to look out for me, who hears my prayers, and provides in all aspect of my life. I am grateful to my King my Abba that I am special enough that I have been given beyond my wildest dreams opportunities like the one I find myself on this week. The ability to travel to the other side of the world, and enjoy such a beautiful and wonderful magical place has been more of a blessing then I ever deserved. I’ve had people tell me these last few days that I have deserved this trip, and I question what exactly I’ve done to deserve this kind of blessing. The truth is, it doesn’t matter, what does is that I have been given this blessing, and that I don’t waist it. I use it, and I move forward with this blessing and use it to the betterment of those who I connect with. Paying forward is such an important aspect of Christianity, and we often fall short in doing that. \

I think one of the biggest things we need to do in our lives is find our thing. Find the thing that can reconnect you. Find it, whether it be meditation, hiking, running, reading your bible, whatever it may be, find that thing, and do that thing often. There are plenty of things that are safe and within reason that will ultimately change your life. Keep yourself in tune with God, and keep yourself in tuned with the beauty of this planet and treasure it because it’s the only one we get. We have been given such a beautiful place to enjoy our lives, I think it’s about time we get back to actually enjoying it. Bad things happen to everyone, and we can either let them hold us back, or push through, and find our joy again. Find your joy in the gifts God has given you. Enjoy the beauty.

Hawaii

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Hawaii

One of Gods greatest gifts to us, Hawaii is both tropical, and relaxing, yet connects you to nature and love like I’ve never seen. The warmth of the people here is beyond reproach, and although my experience may be a little skewed because of the nature of my visit here, Hawaii has shown me a new appreciation of Aloha. While I’ve been here I’ve noticed the pure beauty of the people on this island. They are both physically very attractive, but the spiritually very connected to both the energy of the island and the needs of the waters surrounding them. I’ve never seen a people so consumed with the preservation of a wonderful way of life. From the oceans to the trails, to the city itself I’ve seen so many concerned with cleaning up after themselves, and even down to the sunscreen people wear and being concerned with how the oils in the cream not only affect the body, but also the damage it’s doing to the natural reef surrounding the island.

God has certainly blessed me on this trip, and I could never have imagined how wonderful this experience would be. I’ve been able to see and do things I’ve never thought I could. I have surfed, I’ve 6 man canoed, I’ve sailed, I navigated hairpin turns in a sailboat, I’ve seen octopus, I’ve done yoga looking out into the Pacific, and we’ve got so much more planned before this trip is over.

While on this trip I’ve met vets from all walks of life. Sailors, surfers, artists, actors, and we all have one major thing in common, our ability to adapt through our pain, our suffering, our disabilities, and we are able to find the joy for life, and the love of helping and spreading the good will towards other vets, especially those who are less fortunate then us. We all want to raise awareness for the suffering of veterans, who come back and don’t know how to cope with their demons, and often find themselves in isolation mode pushing away everyone around them. Veterans who become displaces can only hope to survive for a short while when they feel they have no hope left. Events like this one that I’m on can and will open the eyes to the veterans who can reconnect with people, work as a team, and feel useful again. The idea of CORE and many of the other organizations out there is to show veterans that despite their disability, or even the severity of them, they can still thrive. While on this trip each of us has different disabilities ranging from leg amputees, moderate PTSD, hip injuries, near blindness, wounds from IED’s, even an RPG blast. Not one of these men I’ve met allow their injuries to prevent them from doing what they love. Each of us has found a way to do what we love doing within reason to be sure to take care of our bodies, but in a way that we don’t continue to exasperate our injuries.

In the few days I’ve been here in some ways I’m sore, but in others I’m more loose then I’ve been a year. My neck has felt the most relaxes then it’s been since the surgery. I’ve pushed myself, but I’ve learned new stretches, and along with the motion, and the Yoga, I feel more alive then I have in years. My connection with the water, the sea, the boats, and the social connection I’ve made here will be one experience that will last me a lifetime. I know now that God had planned to have me come here all along, and just that everything fell into place when it did, and I was able to come even with less then 48 hours notice, I know that miracles are real, and in this time on the majestic island, I have found a new sense of calm and peace I’ve not known in years, perhaps I dare say a lifetime. Even with feeling slightly under the weather with my sinuses, and my chronic hives, I’ve not let that slow me down, and I’ve been able to enjoy every second of it. I love the experience and the blessings that have been bestowed upon me. I can never repay the kindness that’s been places on me this trip, but I can share the story, and raise more awareness, and spread the blessings.

Life’s Winding Road

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Life’s Winding Road

While in life it’s interesting how we can see the curve in the river behind us, and then we can’t see beyond the curve in front of us. Have you ever seen the river from the sky? When you look down sometimes it looks like the river is going to wrap back to itself, but it doesn’t, and it slinks and slithers along the ground. Isn’t it how we look at life? The life I have lived has seemed to be like the winding river. It’s sometimes unforgiving, and it’s winding and twisting, and sometimes it seems completely random.

It’s easy to look at life and feel hopeless, and helpless. It’s in those moments when it looks like your river is now a waterfall to your own demise. For me, only once did I get to a point when I felt there was no hope, no way out, and it nearly destroyed me. The faith it takes to carry on and continue to move forward, allowing the river to naturally take its shape, it’s own course.

Much as when we are on the river we can’t truly wrap our heads around the intricacies, the beauty of the winds and curves, how are we so certain in our lives things will never get better. Our view is so small, and yet when something bad happens to us, the end of the world is upon us and we just can’t see the way out. We have to remember that the river continues to move, and we must move along with it.

Life isn’t an easy path, and it certainly isn’t one that will always go the way we have planned, but when we trust in the Lord to guide us, navigating the river will be easier. It’s about having the faith to trust in the twists and curves and remember that no mater what twists and turns exist, we will always make it off the river to the vast ocean, and in our case, that’s Heaven.

If we remember that the road isn’t the most important aspect, and we truly remember to focus on the things we have the ability to change, and let go of the stresses and worry for those things in which we have little to no control over, we would actually be much happier. Remember whatever we are going through today, God’s still in control, still on the throne, and we still know how the story ends. That should give us comfort and although it won’t always provide the comfort it ought to, I urge you to reach out to a fellow Christian and allow them to help you bare your cross.

Don’t short change yourself, and allow yourself to focus on the long game. Life’s about the long trek down the river, not the speed boat rout. Believe in yourself, and help others along their path. You will always find help when you need it. God will always give you what you need. Always.

Show Some Respect

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Show Some Respect

As a friend, how do you treat your friends? How respectful are you towards your friends? What kind of person are you? Are you a friend who drops everything when you’re needed? Are you a friend who goes to great lengths to check on your friends when you know they are in need? Are you a friend who helps others financially, spiritually, or emotionally? Are you the type of person that pays forward good deeds? Or, are you the kind of person that accepts those good deeds but never repays them? Are you selfish and you take for granted those people in your life that are always there for you? How do we as a people look to Jesus Christ? Are we appreciative of the sacrifice Christ made for us?

When you have much to offer, people will flock to you in droves. When Christ was healing everyone, handing out free food, lifting everyone up, the people loved him. When he started talking about everyone being sinners, and heaven wasn’t achievable for everyone because of our love of Sin, they turned on him. They threaten to stone him, and ran him out from one town after after. This is the savior and only when it suited us, did the people appreciate the truth, no, they preferred to live happy in a lie, instead of face the bitter truth.

( Spoilers Ahead for The Matrix)

I’m reminded of the first Matrix movie. The Matrix a prison meant to enslave the human race by keeping their minds trapped inside a digital construct, while harvesting a human being to essentially be living batteries. A soldier for the cause for the revolution against the machines Morphious In the first film one of the freed mines, a man named Cypher betrays the crew and causes a lot of problem. When the betrayal is discovered Cypher describes how he’d rather live in ignorance, and the joys of the Matrix, rather then suffer and live with the truth.

Proverbs 10:9 “He that walketh uprightly walketh surely: but he that perverteth his ways shall be known.”

Luke 8:17 “For all that is secret will eventually be brought into the open, and everything that is concealed will be brought to light and made known to all.”

Aren’t we the same way? We look at Jesus as the answer to the problem. We sin, but it’s okay because we are forgiven, so it doesn’t matter what we do, as long as we say we’re sorry once in a while, and we keep living our lives. Yeah, see, that’s not how this works at all. Hebrews 10:26 “For if we go on sinning deliberately after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins,” It’s said that when we take the Holy Spirit into our hearts the idea of sin becomes so repulsive we don’t do it intentionally. While we will always have moments where the flesh takes over and we Sin, the guilt we should feel when we do is where the repentance comes into the picture.

We are responsible for our own sins. We are responsible for how we treat others around us. We are responsible for the kindness in our own hearts. We are responsible for the selfishness in our hearts. The taking of Bashiba by King David was a knowing sinner at the time he took her into his bed. He knowingly sinned as he plotted the death of her husband. He knowingly sinned as he attempted to plot and scheme to hide his own sin. How appreciative of someone who picks up our tab at dinner? Now think about it, how appreciative are we now when we think about our eternal salvation? Do we live like someone who has been freed from an eternal death sentence? There’s a price for our sin, there’s a price for our actions, how we treat someone, and “The bill comes due, always” (Dr. Strange)

 

 

 

 

Return of the Hives

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Return of the Hives

Have you ever had something happen in your life over and over again? A few years ago I was diagnosed with chronic urticaria and angioedema. After years of trying to figure out the cause we came up with absolutely nothing. The solution came in the form of a monthly shot. This was not to cure the cause, only to subdue the effect. Whatever was causing the reaction to create the hives would be simply put, shielded. The histamines that were bursting from whatever was attacking them are shielded with the shot, and prevents the histamines from being destroyed. With the mistakes the VA created, my monthly shot was canceled and now after 3 months with no shot, the hives came back.

Have you ever been hopeful something came back? Have you ever wished for something to go back to normal? All we can do is pray for the return of the King. The King of all Kings God is always on the throne. Some day Jesus will return and that’s a return we can hope for and look forward too. While I battle these hives again, and might feel the strain of stress weighing on me, the faith in the Lord outweighs the frustrations of the worldly ailments.

Keep the faith and pray about the things that concern or bother you. You may never be rid of those things, but this life is only temporary, salvation is forever. Don’t give up hope.