Hope Rises

Hope Rises

Hope rises from the ashes of despair. The burnt remains of a life now long forgotten. When the pieces of your life go up in flames it feels like you may never be happy again. Divorce and loss are hard to handle. It can feel like all the air has been taken from your lungs. It can feel like all the joy is gone from the world and that there’s no reason to move forward. Betrayal and loss are some of the worst feelings you may ever experience. When you care so much about someone and in the blink of an eye that feeling is gone, lost forever, the feeling is indescribable. How do we overcome such loss? When you love someone so dearly and they pass away, how do we handle the destruction of our broken heart? The answer is neither simple, or easy, but the path to recovery is in front of us, we just need to learn to take the first steps.

John 14:6 “Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” We see this as the path, the first sign on the long journey home. The rest of the journey is faith, patience and love. 1 John 5:1-5 Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ has been born of God, and everyone who loves the Father loves whoever has been born of him. By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and obey his commandments. For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome. For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world except the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?” The road isn’t easy and was never promised to be. Every step of the way we will be traveling through the thorns and thistles. We have been told the world of man is a fallen world, one of pain and suffering. John 16:33 “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” In the world of troubles there is a light along the way. Matthew 16:24-2524 Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. 25 For whoever would save his life[a]will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”

Deuteronomy 31:6 “Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.” Faith isn’t easy, but those who are willing to walk the hard path are promised a second life full of peace and perfection. In our walk we know that no matter the pain we are in the future is still bright. There may be days when we feel we just can’t take another step and on those days we must reach out. On the days when the world’s too heavy for our shoulders and we feel weak we know where to turn. God will always give us the tools we need to carry on. We must turn to God in our bad times but also our good. We must always remember to give thanks for the blessings, and understand our hardships serve a purpose. We don’t have to always be the toughest, the smartest, or the strongest. “Don’t try to be a great man, just be a man, and let history make it’s own judgments.” (Zefram Cochrane) We are called to serve and follow the light. In our life we will be given every tool we need. We will be given the renewed hope every day. Jesus Christ is our strength, our hope, and our truth. We will seek for years looking for truth, seeking external happiness, only to find the answer was with us all along. Do not mistake me when I say happiness to mean a perpetual state of bliss. There are forces in life that will be a challenge. Happiness as I mean it is more like contentment. We will find days when we are saddened by life, saddened by loss, saddened by hurt and loneliness, but it’s in those days when we need to seek refuge under the wings of the angels.

We will travel this world seeking companionship, and sometimes we will find the one who will be with us till the day we pass, and sometimes those relationships are fleeting like sand in the wind. We need to recognize that life isn’t what it once was. As the Devil grasps hold on society people’s moralities change. Greed, selfishness, lustful intentions, and hate have now crept into every corner of our lives. To resist these things is a rare quality, and when you find it, hold onto it. For everything we endure there’s something out there that’s meant for us. Our path takes courage and trust in the Lord. We need to learn to see the gifts in our lives, and trust God’s plan. Don’t pass up opportunities the Lord gives you. I heard a saying once, “A man stood on his roof watching the encroaching flood on him home. He waited there for God to arrive. A boat came up to the house and they offered a place for him. He turned them down saying ‘no, it’s okay God will save me.’ The waters continued to rise and now he was standing at the very peak of the home. Soon a coast guard helicopter arrive overhead and a ladder was lowered for him to grab. He waves them off saying, ‘it’s okay, God will protect me from the waters.’ Sadly the man drowned, but went to Heaven. When he got there he asked God why God didn’t save him. God responded, ‘I sent a boat and a helicopter, you refused my help.’” The moral of the story is, God will help you when you need it, it just may not be the way you expected. Rest assured though that God will provide for you always. This doesn’t mean sit back and do nothing, but with work, effort, and faith, God will give to you what you need, and the faithful will receive the desires of ones heart.

I will leave you with this final passage. Matthew 6:25-34 “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?[a] 28 And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, 29 yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. 34 “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”

 Embrace the gifts you have, the joys in your life. Change your focus away from the things you don’t have and focus on the things you do. The desires of your heart if God willing will come to you with work and effort, but do not wish for the unobtainable. Embrace the blessings and take them not for granted. Every sunrise is a new day, and when the boat comes in seize it. Don’t be afraid to take chances, and always have faith and trust in God. Remember to always Carpe Diem Seize the day, and also Carpe Cras, seize tomorrow.

 

Held by a Savior

Held by a Savior

In the last year my followers have seen that I have experienced some significant hardships, but the thing is, we all do. It’s not about the hardships, it’s about how we survive them. Everyone experiences their own trials, and their own troubles. We all have our tears that pour from our faces, and we all experience pain that while others may be able to sympathize, or empathize with us, it’s our own pain and no one knows exactly what we feel. We all have our stories that can be either inspiration as what to do, or not to. What is it to be a man? What is it to be a woman? I believe the truth is in how we handle our pain and how we endure the cross. Do we endure with dignity that would make people proud, or do we allow our lives to fall apart and crumble beneath our feet?

It’s a fine line I think between falling down, and throwing everything away. It’s okay to not be okay. I think those who actively follow a path of self-destruction are those who throw away. I think those who follow that path forgot how to live life. Life isn’t easy and it was never promised to be. Living life is knowing we have our issues, and finding ways to live our lives by embracing them and using them for the betterment of others, or learning to overcome them. I have PTSD and I am finding how to help others with it. I didn’t get here without falling down. I didn’t get to where I am today without facing down the wrong side life. We fall down and we get back up. We fall down and we have a choice, do we learn to ask for help, or do we try it our way? I don’t mean help by way of friends, family or professional help. I mean God. We are always going to be stumbling through life. We are always going to have one crisis after another, and every time we stumble or fall, we have an opportunity to learn how to ask God for help. True healing, true redemption is through Christ. The blood spilt on Calvary’s cross that day broke the bondage of slaves to sin, for a life free and full of choice to live in the light of Christ, or the shadows of the Devil.

Bad things happen to everyone, but we can choose to overcome. PTSD doesn’t define me, anxiety doesn’t define me, and no matter how much it hurts my childhood, and my divorces don’t’ define me. I didn’t ask for this life of pain and suffering, but here we are. I’m not perfect and I’ve made plenty of mistakes. I have not always held my tongue when I should have. I haven’t always said the nicest of words to my loved ones, but I try hard to be a man God would be proud of. I know my Savior is Christ, and I know that in his blood my mistakes are washed clean. I know that I will fall and make mistakes, but I know in God’s eyes my mistakes aren’t going to condemn me forever. We as a people should learn not to judge so quickly. We should learn to see the mistakes and keep an open mind. We are all human and we all screw up. Instead of a life of judgment, of ridicule, open your heart with love, and see through the eyes beyond the cover.

We have so many blessing in our life and we often overlook them in our waking moments. The gift of life, the breath we take and the days we have are the biggest blessing we take for granted. The poorest of the poor in this nation often have far more then those of other poor nations. We have food, and shelter, and we have people in our lives that care for us. As for me, I have more money then I need, maybe not as much as I want, but needs and wants are very different. I have my dogs, my mother, and I have a warm bed to sleep in. I have my car, and I am debt free. I don’t struggle with bills, and I don’t have to worry where my next meal is coming from. I have friends that care about me, and are there for me when I need them. I know that no matter how dark the darkest day, how deep my pain runs, and I know that no matter how bruised and bettered I become, Jesus is still right there going through it all with me. Jesus is my faithful friend, and the Abba of all is by my side.

I know this year’s been hard, and that I have posted about a lot of hardships and pain, but isn’t that what life is? It’s not about the hardships we endure; it’s how we endure them. Pain comes and when it does we are expected to use the sandals and dig in and hold our ground. Expressing hardships isn’t a sign of weakness or even a sign of complaining (in some cases) it’s about how we can find our strength to persevere in Christ our Savior. We know some days will be great, and others will bring more pain then we think we can handle. We will see the peace of the meadow, and we will face the valley of death, but no matter what our day is, we know one thing is absolutely certain, Christ our Savior is always with us. Psalm 23 “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.”

Remember one thing if nothing else; we are never alone and we never know when our testimony will save someone else. We never know whom we may meet, and how we may affect their life. Let me help you if I can, let me be there for you if you need it. My email is always open if you need to talk about God. We are called to lean on one another and help lift each other up. We are called to bare one another’s burdens and use our tongue to lift up and never to tear down. We always have the opportunity to help our neighbors and I promise you, you don’t have to look far to find someone in need of love. Our world is a fallen one, shrouded in sin and pain. It’s the love we are taught to give that is our hope. We are told to Love as Christ Loved us, and we are told to do this to all of our neighbors, not just the ones we like. We cannot surly do this on our own and we were never expected to. We are taught to turn to one another, turn to God. We know that without Christ we are nothing and without the grace of God we cannot surely do anything. I know that today, yesterday, and tomorrow I’ve always needed my Lord. I am not strong enough alone. I am not brave enough on my own. I know that I didn’t survive Iraq without God’s protecting hands. I know the literal circle of protection surrounding my truck that day was nothing short of a miracle. I know when I was shot that without God’s grace I surly would have died. I know that I have needed God and I always will. The Lord is my Sheppard, my strength, my savior, and I know when I cannot stand I fall on the Lord. Jesus is the only hope I will ever truly need, and as my needs arise, I trust the Lord will provide, and provide always.

 

Lego Therapy

Lego Therapy

Some days are harder then others. For whatever reason we as people have different ways of handling stress, or negative emotions. Some people turn to liquor, some turn to being workaholics, some turn to gambling, or drugs, and while some things are absolutely okay in moderation, some things are not. I’ve known people who’ve turned to drugs, and I’ve known people who’ve turned to sex to hide the pain they are in. I’ve known others who have gotten so involved with work that they no longer make time for anyone or anything else in their life. Obviously some of these are better then drugs, and others in some ways are just as bad.

Last year when I was going through some of the worst emotions I’d ever faced in my life, I found poor relief in alcohol and Ambien. At night when work was over, or even on my days off before I’d go to bed, I would mix the two and would proceed to black out for hours. I wouldn’t remember anything from the night before. I’d wake up in the morning and find I would record myself talking incoherently, sending gibberish texts, and sadly making everything public on Facebook. Obviously in a time of crisis my decisions were less then desirable. I made poor life choices for about 3 months. Eventually my situation would escalate to a boiling point and things would get worse.

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Now, when I’m in high stress times, or feeling depressed I turn to Lego’s. For one person I know, she colors to help her relax and face stress. Now when I have a hard day, or I just need to have a distraction for a couple hours I get a new set, and I build. I put in a movie, and I start building. For me it gives me a chance to clear my mind, and focus on a goal. I have found that even a short term, but a very achievable goal helps me to let go of the things that are bothering me. It releases the stress to see what I can do, what I can create with my own hands. I think it’s important for all of us to find something. There are always productive, healthy ways to handle stress, to handle the worries of the world.

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Finding peace in troubled times can be difficult. Finding comfort in ways that are healthy can be even more troublesome. We often desire things with our hearts that are just out of reach. We allow emotions like pain, and guilt and shame to be the driving force of our decisions and we can easily be led astray in the midst of what can only be described as spiritual warfare. We cannot hope to win the war if we don’t understand how to rest and reset ourselves when we can. James 1:2-4 “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” We know that Jesus is the one true way, and when we are able to rest our minds, our bodies, and our souls from the weary days, we can follow the words in Luke 21:19 “Stand firm, and you will win life.” The war is never an easy place to be, but war isn’t easy. Those who are faithful, who are living the life, are always going to be the ones targeted most. This isn’t to say others won’t endure hardships also, but the ones who have Jesus in their heart will be targets for the Devil and the temptations of the flesh start. Psalm 94:19 “When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.”

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War is Hell, and enduring the pull to the dark side is tough. The power of flesh is strong, and the desires we often hide deep down can surface. Know though, that we are all human and we all make mistakes. I have found new ways to deal with my stress, deal with my pain that led me so far astray, but damage was done. I can only hope that in my day-to-day life now, those mistakes of the past aren’t how I’m defined forever. In our pursuit to find our way we will follow the wrong path and find comfort in all the wrong places. No one wants mistakes to be how they are defined or seen, so we must learn to forgive. We must trust those around us who mean for us to be happy, and healthy and safe. Have faith in the Godly council, and have faith that God will give us what we need, when we need it. That includes people in our lives, the tools we need to succeed, and eventually flourish. We just need to be able to move day to day, and come what may. Find ways to handle stress that is productive and doesn’t harm yourself or others. Find the courage to resist what you must, and embrace what you should.

 

Be the Hero

Be the Hero

God is King and as king He needs warriors to fight the forces of darkness. As King the wishes of a king are not requests, but a call to serve. To honor your king and to be obedient you are to serve to the best of your ability. God has endowed each and every one of us with a gift, something that makes us stand out, unique, and something that we are capable of beyond those around us. A hero doesn’t have to wear a cape, but if we are soldiers for Christ our capes may not be seen by us, but they are there. A hero can be anyone who endures, who puts on the brave face every day.

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“What is it to be a hero, look in the mirror and you’ll know. Look into your own eyes and tell me you’re not heroic, that you’ve not endured, or suffered, or lost the things you care about most. And yet here you are….” (Karen Page/ Daredevil)

In this world cowards don’t last long. In this world, some ‘bloody their fists’ (DD) to keep the world safe, some write, some talk, and others remain in the shadows but without them, the ones in the light couldn’t do what they do. Without the every day service and sacrifice of so many people within our church, from those who take out the trash, to the ones in the pulpit, no matter who you are, your service counts. Each and every one of us has the opportunity to spread the Gospel every day. We don’t have to be literary experts to talk about Jesus Christ and what affect Christ has had on our lives.

It doesn’t matter how far you’ve gone down the wrong path, you can turn around any time, and Jesus will be right there waiting for you. You all probably know someone whose just one step away from turning around. How many lives can one person save in eternity by sharing the gospel to friends, coworkers, and even random strangers at times? We all have the ability to be heroes for Christ. When we lay down our old chain and we take up a new name in Christ, we are given the power, the grace, the courage when we need it to look at Satan in the face and laugh. We don’t have to fear the Devil and his lies. We don’t have to fear the persecution of our peers because no matter what happens in this life, we are given the promise of forever. No matter the day, the month, the year you’ve had, good, or bad, the Lord is still working to bless you. “Living is not for the weak” (Arrow) As long as you walk this earth you are not done fighting.

Everyone in this world makes a difference in their own way. Everyone’s contributions to the Lord will never go unnoticed. While man may not see it, or even appreciate it, the Lord is the one opinion that matters. If you live your entire life and you’ve lived with Christ, if you’ve breathed the Holy Spirit, if you’ve suffered the cross, and if you’ve cried to God that you need saving deep down in your soul, you have been broken the chains of death. The weak, the small, the big and the tall, Jesus calls to all.

Look in the mirror and tell me you haven’t endured. Look in the mirror and tell me you haven’t survived this far. No matter what you’ve been through you made it. You’ve overcome hardships, and pain, and while those scars will forever be with you, tomorrow the pain will be a little less. No one, and nothing can ever make the scars go away, but in some way you can use those scars. God doesn’t let anything go to waist. You have been given life, given the breath and the strength to carry on through whatever you’ve made it through.

I’ve seen friends die, and I’ve seen friends fall. I’ve seen friends get lost, and ones who’ve found the way. I’ve seen friends suffer through loss, and rape, and those who’ve faced death. There’s one thing they all have in common, they all woke up this morning. When you have the strength to get up and step back into the world for another day there’s always hope because God is still working on whatever pain you have. You’re stronger then you know because God is still standing with you. When you hurt God hurts, and when you cry God cries. Heroes stand tall and sometimes they fall, but no matter what, a hero never stops fighting the fight. Your heart may be broken, your bones may fail you, and your heart may often heavy as bricks but your life is worth more to God then you can ever know.

I’ve been taken to the woodshed by life more then once. I’ve faced death and I’ve faced loss. I have seen the Devil, I have seen war, I have experienced the worst kinds of loss, and yet here I am. I have sinned, I have made mistakes, I have hurt people I love, and I have been in my own purgatory of my mind, and yet, here I am. God has forgiven, and strengthened me. If you can stand you can fight. If you can see you can fight. If you can hear you can fight. Stand for the Lord and you can hold your head high. If you can see God in your heart then you can hold true when the Devil attacks your heart. If you can hear the Angels calls you can drown out the whispers and lies of Satan. Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”

 When the skies fall down around you, when the world you know it is gone, remember that you are still breathing. No matter the storm, or the fight that may lie ahead, the King of all is still in control. If you’re still breathing there’s always hope. Faith is hard, but to trust in the Lord is sometimes all we have left. Let God be in control of your life. Let God be the star in which you guide your ship. Those who stand to fight along side Christ are the heroes of today, like the heroes of old we are in heavenly company. Like Moses, and David, Joseph, and Esther, the Apostils and Job, Daniel, and Stephen, we serve the Lord with our hearts, and we will one day walk with angelic company.

We all have the capacity for both great good, or terrible evil. We all have a choice who we are, and how we live, so if you had to make a choice, and you do, what side are you on? Be a hero for Christ. Look in the mirror and be the change. Let go of the selfish love, let go of the hate, the doubt, and with the Armor of God, don the heroes cape and join the greats of the bible. “Start with the man in the mirror… If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make that change.”(Michael Jackson)

 Let the regret and worries of this year pass away. Let them fade from memory and remain in the present, and prepare for the future. Let God be in control and “Lead us not into temptation, and deliver us from evil.”

 

A Miracle for my Heart

A Miracle for my Heart

It’s been so long now, and while I feel beaten, I feel bloody, I feel broken, I know that you still want me my Lord. I know that while in this life my body may fail, my heart may be broken, and the scars I have may not make me attractive to others, but to you, I am beautiful. I trust in you my God to use me how I am. I trust in you that you want me for the man I am, and if I am obedient, if I am faithful to you, you will bless me when my day comes.

My God, it’s been so long now and I feel lost some days. I feel as if I am trapped in a dark room unable to find my way out. I sing praises to you my Holy King of all Kings. I know that the sun dawns every day, the darkness falls, and I am still here on this earth breathing. I trust in you and trust there is just cause for my unanswered prayers. You’re rich in love my Lord, and I must remember to trust no in my own understanding, but to trust in you alone. While I feel like I am walking in the shadows, I know I have walked in the valley of death, and here I stand. I have lain in green pastures, which you have blessed and allowed my life, my love the flourish. I have seen so much death, and yet lived so little.

The darkness tries to lie to me. It tries to cheat me, and promise me so much, but I know the truth. It’s been so long since I felt the light, and I fear I’ve forgotten the warm of love. The path seems so dark and with the fog of war covering my eyes, I close them to trust in you my Lord. I know that my decisions of old haunt me. All I can say is I know my Sins are forgiven, and I’ve been set free from the mistakes of yesterday. I’ve been stuck and I pray to be set free. I don’t want to go back, I don’t want to be in the purgatory of my own mind. I trust in you my Lord, and let this new upcoming year be something special. I pray to put this behind me and move forward, new, washed clean, and unburdened.

I know I’m not strong enough to be everything I need to be. I know that I am nothing without you my Lord because I’m weak on my own. I know that through Christ I can do all things. I don’t have to be alone in this world and I pray you my Lord would see it fit to end that period in my life. I pray you give me the guidance to better my life, to find a better purpose. I don’t know what else I can do, but I know you have the power to change things for me. My God my God, please change my life.

Christmas Day

Christmas Day

It’s Christmas day and our Savior was born. A baby boy lay in a manger to live a life we could understand and relate to. A man he would become to save us all from our very real sin. We honor him today and we praise Hallelujah. A sweet baby boy that would save us, give us the greatest hope we would ever need, salvation. A fate we never deserved, one we could never repay, but that’s what true love is. True love is something given freely without expectations of anything coming in return. True love endures all things, hardships, sickness, bad times, and everything else. We never deserved the gift we were given on this day so many, many years ago, but here we are, celebrating the greatest event that would ever take place in human history.

Families may drive you crazy, friends may loose their way, people are people who are flawed and sometimes weak. No mater what happens in this world, one thing is incontrovertible, love must overpower the darkness. On that night 2000 years ago the silence broken by a newborn’s cries would bring the biggest gift of love we’d ever have. No matter the hurt or pain you feel, let love be the guiding light tonight. Like the star of Bethlehem many years ago, let Christ be the light that shines brightly on this day. No matter the issues we have forgiveness is so important for us to find peace.

Christmas is a celebration of peace, not from war, but peace in knowing that tomorrow is no longer hopeless. Faith is not always easy, and love can be just as hard sometimes, but no matter the challenges one might face, the end of the day, Love is the only hope we have. Loving your neighbor, loving your enemies, and above all, loving yourself is what we need to learn to do. Love God above all things, and your pure of heart towards God will be returned in full always. Set aside your differences, your struggles, for today is a day of renewed peace, and of good will towards all.

Merry CHRISTmas to all this day, may you find love, give love, and experience joy on this day. Keep the faith and the light alive. Live and love, and never loose hope. Today that child broke the chains of darkness so we could live with our head held high, and a hope that would never die. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

The Will to Live

The Will to Live

The bullet goes through him and bounces around on the inside. He looks at death and stands face to face. The world is a dark place full of scary monsters that always want to get you down. Life isn’t usually fair, and it’s not nice, but life isn’t about the lollipops and 24/7 fun. Life is about growth, and to grow you should expect failure. “The greatest teacher, failure is.” (Yoda) This isn’t just some Hollywood magic, but scripture brought to the big screen. Romans 5:3-5 “More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” We fall so we can learn to get back up. We fail so we can learn to succeed. We crumble so we can reach towards God and ask for the strength to carry on. We look to God for answers when we don’t understand. We draw strength through our faith in the Lord above.

We sometimes find ourselves just floating in the ocean, not swimming, not going anywhere, but we aren’t truly living our lives if we’re standing still. We have to find a way to push through the glass. “Forward… Always… Always… Forward” (Luke Cage) We are often like an old record with a scratch in it, we just loop the same few seconds over and over in our lives. Traumas can do that to a person. We live, we wake up every day, but what do we do with it? In 1 Peter 5:10 “And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.” When we suffer we don’t want to stay in our suffering, but sometimes something gets broken. It’s difficult to repair the damage sometimes. Sometimes we don’t know how, and we try to fix it all by ourselves. The thing is, we aren’t alone, we don’t have to do it by ourselves. The problem is when we run from the pain instead of embracing it and learning to live with the pain by being in control of it, instead of letting it control us. John 16:33 “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

When we don’t know how to do something we learn, we teach ourselves, or we are taught. We move through life learning new things, often every single day. If we have done had to do something how are we expected to know what to do or how? Many people consider therapy to be a sign of weakness, but I challenge that notion. When we struggle with trauma, or something incredibly hurtful, we don’t know how to handle it. We suffer through it and it often damages aspects of our day-to-day life. We push those we love away, our job performance suffers, we recluse yourself and struggle to find the balance needed to be productive, and healthy. Romans 8:18 “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.” I would say that those who turn to cutting, suicide, or substance abuse forgot long ago how to reach out. Are we reaching for the Lord in our time of sorrow? Are we reaching to people who can help us? Sometimes in our own suffering we can’t see through the fog of life. “Living is not for the weak.” (Arrow)

2 Corinthians 4:8-10 “We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.” Using the tools we have by finding people in life who are willing to help us is part of living. Again we aren’t always taught how to do something, and that isn’t just exclusive to fixing cars, dry walling a house, or dealing with extreme physiological stresses. Don’t suffer alone, because you aren’t. God will always give you someone to turn to, someone to help you, even if you must find it in the most unlikely of places. The shadow’s of doubt and dismay may lurk behind every angle but when you look to the snow, you won’t see anything but your own footprints. While the Devil is nipping at your heals trying to bury you in the ice, God’s Angels are always there watching over you. You only say the word and you putting your faith in the Lord you will be renewed and strengthened. Psalm 91:2-4 “I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust. Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence. He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.”

 

The Separate Path

The Separate Path

We found one another and fell in love. We grew together and a life we made. The life we made was a house of cards, the wind came and it blew it down. Now looking at the wake of devastation, I watched in horror as the world didn’t make sense anymore. The tsunami that tore down everything in its path, it was a nightmare come to life. The blast from the atomic blast blinded me and left me helpless as I stood there frozen within my own mind. My body moved but my mind was trapped in a prison unable to escape. Failure was imminent and nothing would be able to stop the flood from coming.

Journey’s song Separate Ways sums up the last year pretty well for me. Having faith in the plan that isn’t my own is perhaps the hardest thing I’ve done. The horrible things we survive can either destroy us or it can propel us forward. When something happens to us in the past how does it affect us in the present? The nightmare that is left behind can play at any time during the day, find us in our sleep, and haunt us. But what if the demons of the past could be controlled? What if we could tame the beast and learn how to no longer allow it to control us? There may be hope if we but turn on the light to see in the dark.

Someone once asked me why I believed in God with so much pain and horrible things in this world. If God was so good then why are babies killed, why do innocent people get hurt? The answer is very simple. Free Will. Free will gives people the choice to decide their own path. We choose who we become friends with, and we choose the way we handle each and every event that comes to our life. Sometimes we make great choices, and other times we make choices that are self destructive. Sometimes our path’s are determined by the subconscious mind that wants what we know we shouldn’t have, but follow it anyway. Other people free will can harm people as innocent bystanders or out of cruelty or malice. God can interfere and sometimes does, but to put a stopper on free will in a fallen world of Sin would defeat the purpose of wanting His children to come to him freely. While miracles do happen, and God can play on someone’s heart, bad things are bound to happen.

I myself have been taken to the woodshed a few times. I’ve suffered at the hands of others, and I have caused suffering when I didn’t mean too. I’ve been brought to my knees and I’ve watched the world crumble and make no sense to what is up or down. While I’ve lost sight of the truth from time to time I always find my way back to the path. The Devil has tried to take me out of the game, to remove me from the board, but God’s plan for me is not yet finished. I can never apologize enough for the pain I have caused, and I can’t ever make it right. All I can do is try to atone for my mistakes. All I can do is ask for forgiveness and hope I get it. All I can do is try to make sure it never happens again and raise awareness for the perfect storm that hit me. While my path has diverged from that of those I love the most deeply in this life, I know that my love is not confined to my little part of this world, but that they know how I feel. I can never undo the past, but as I have fought to survive this last year, I keep in mind, there’s a reason to the pain. There’s a reason for the separate ways in my life, and I thank God for the blessings I do have.

Even though you’re gone I love you. Even though the end came I still care. God doesn’t abandon his Children. God never stops loving, and thus nor will I. Love in the deepest meaning of the word doesn’t die. Love always remains, and one-day love will concur all. Love isn’t weak; it’s the strongest thing in the universe. God will always provide, and even when we walk away from the path God will go off road with us. He may not approve of our choices, but he will always want us to come back. Faith in the truth, faith in the light, and the rest comes when you get your hands dirty with hard work. We may not think we’re strong enough, but when our strength runs low, we lift our eyes, and hands to the Lord and ask for help. We have faith that our needs will be provided for and in our hour of need, God will always provide. He provides every minute of every day, even if we don’t see the working of the little stuff. We don’t have to be strong enough, we just have to have faith. We can be broken, we can be lost, we can be afraid, but in God all things will be made right, and we can do all things because in Christ we are given strength, courage, love. Don’t loose sight of what’s important, and more importantly who. We only get a few people in our life that stay and make big impacts, don’t forget their face, don’t forget their name. Love can overcome anything. God’s love for us and the blood of our Savior shed for us was done in love freeing us from our eternal death, so if we could just love more like God, wouldn’t we be able to be happier too? Perhaps this Christmas you can start to love a little deeper.

Wants of Life

Wants of life

Sometimes in life we can want something so badly but we never get it. I have experienced that a lot this last year. The things I’ve wanted and I have prayed for have never come to be. While I greatly appreciate the things I do have, there area couple of things I don’t have I long for and wonder why I’ve yet to be given the things I desire most.

We often ask ourselves what we’ve done to deserve such horrible things in our life. While sometimes our bad miss fortune comes from our own selfish and arrogant choices, sometimes bad things happen to the innocent just because of other people’s selfishness. In those bad times we may wish we had it better, or often say if I only had this life wouldn’t be so hard anymore. While these statements are true and probably have been uttered by nearly every one of us at some point, it’s the struggles in our life that truly define who we are. How one person deals with adversity is far more important then how hey deal with life’s bliss.

When we look to the things we desire we can’t always see the writing on the wall, that sometimes that thing, that one thing we wanted may actually not be good for us at all. Sometimes we should be thankful for unanswered prayers. We must accept

that if the time comes we will get what we want, and if we don’t there’s probably a reason for it.

My deepest desire is for a family of my own. To find a woman to love and cherish who will do the same to me. Someone I can have kids with and experience what it is to be a parent. While I’ve been so close to

That and have watched it crumble and be ripped away, I believe even though I’m incredibly lonely this holiday season, some day, my princess will come. (Yes I know it sounds cheesy)

Truly I would love for someone to take up the mantle of my Black Canary. I would love for someone to come into my life that will accept me, and help me along my path. You know you’re on the right path when in two people you find one another’s best selves. When you push each other to be better, to grow, to support one another. Having faith in those relationships despite my own horrors in my past relationships, it’s something I still dream about and long for.

Have faith that God is still there and if you haven’t gotten what you want, that you’re being prepared for it, or something better. God Loves his children and wants his children to be happy. Plans for joy, not pain. We must remember to have faith, keep the fire and light bright in our spirits and remember that God is supreme. Recognize the blessings this holiday season, and remember the reason we celebrate. It’s not the presents, it’s not the food, it’s the baby that so many years ago that was born to one day die to break the chains of eternal sin. Merry Christmas to all. And thank God for unanswered prayers.

My Super Power

My Super Power

So this may come as a complete shock to most of you, but I have a super power. In the last year and after an exhaustive amount of time on dating sites, I have come to find I am invisible. The amount of greetings I’ve sent in a year verses the amount of new friends or relationships I’ve made being under 5 shows me I am likely to be invisible to most people. In my mind the more dating sites I joined the better my odds were at making friends, and finding a relationship.

When you send more then a dozen greetings in a day and yet I receive no replies. The truth is in today’s world online dating stinks. The internet is littered with people who try to con you, who try to use you, and that’s if you warrant the attention. Finding the frauds is more and more difficult as their game has changed. While their game changes it’s also important for mine to change.

For many people invisibility is a real annoying truth. Going all day with few people making an attempt to reach out, and not being able to make new connections, it’s been a long road. When you look at how those sites work they are largely looks based to start with. If you aren’t a 10 in this world you don’t get far. This world has become shallow and no longer cares about the deeper parts of a person, instead it’s worried about the way people look. The old saying never judge a book by its cover obviously never caught on. The point is, don’t lower your own standards to fit into the world. Never give up on your own biblical principles just because the world has. Never give up on your moral compass to fill the void you may have. It’s easy to get lonely and start to think of ways to fill that void, but the feeling that comes from putting your beliefs aside to make your worldly desires feel better is horrible.

It’s not easy spending the holidays alone, especially two in a row. It’s not easy to be lonely, it’s not easy to feel left out, or abandoned. It’s not easy feeling like there’s a void deep within your heart, but there’s hope. John 15:18-19 “If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.” It’s not easy being lonely day in and day out.

People in this life can be mean and cruel. They can try to use you, abuse your kindness, try to take advantage, and with all of that, the things some people say to you just hurts. I was talking with someone and offered to show them around town because they were new to the area. They wanted something from me, and when I refused they said my ex wife made the right choice in leaving me, that I wasn’t worth sticking around. Even though she was a stranger, the words still hurt. While it’s very common to run into people on the internet who try to scam you, or pray on your naivety, you have to have your wits.

It’s a sad reality to know that most people on these dating sites are out to get you. The vast majority of the people in my experience that have talked with me desire something. iTunes gift cards, transfer money through western union, or any number of other means. While it hurts to know I’m either invisible, or people think I’m easy prey. Regardless, it doesn’t make life easy when all your met with on your quest is negativity, and rejection. Both of them hurt, and when people don’t get what they want and they take a stab at hurting you, it’s a tough pill to swallow. The key is to remember that though you may be invisible to people because lets face it, people aren’t very nice sometimes, you’re never invisible to God. You are His creation, and he is our (Abba) father. He cares about you, he cares about your happiness, and your well being, so when people hurt you, God hurts for us. God is never not with us, and you will always be a priority for God. Both good and bad, God wants us to be happy. God wants us to have a relationship with Him. Yes it’s hard to be alone during the holidays especially, but in that time alone, at least try to take some comfort knowing that the Father of the universe, the King on the throne, the creator of life and Heaven, knows you and loves you. You can’t deny how amazing that is, that even in our tiny little lives, God loves us so much, that Jesus Died for our, and even if it was just one of us, Jesus would have given His life.

My super power may be invisibility at the moment, but one day, my kindness, my generosity, my love and compassion will pay off, and my obedience to the Lord, my love for people, and my steadfast stance against the Devils attacks, I will be rewarded in abundance for my actions. And to borrow a line from the Dark Knight himself, “It’s not who I underneath, but what I do that defines me!” Don’t let other people’s opinions destroy you. Yes it hurts, yes, the words sting and you will feel it, but don’t let it break you. You aren’t trash because God doesn’t make trash. You aren’t a mistake because God doesn’t make mistakes. You are perfectly made, and somewhere out there, there’s someone perfectly made for you. Don’t give up hope, and never quit.