Tag: Love everyone

The Life

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The Life

All my life I was bullied. I was teased, picked on, and even beat up. From being pushed in the halls, to the locker room. From my books being taken, and swirleys being given. From being punched or even my things being stolen, I would endure day after day, time after time. Growing up I wasn’t the biggest person in school. Growing up I wasn’t the smartest, or the fastest. Growing up I was average for most areas of my life. Perhaps looks which I was teased a lot about was slightly below average, but no matter what others thought, I was made by God just the way he wanted me. Faith for me has always been apart of my life. I wish I could say that it was faith that carried me through, and maybe on some level it was, but I cannot stand here and say I came through stronger for it. On the contrary, although I made it through, I came out with scars. My whole life I’ve been self conscious, and I’ve had a low self esteem. I never held my achievements in high esteem because I never felt they mattered. I argued with God every night about the life I was given, and why. I argued every night that He wouldn’t deliver me from my hell. I remember one night I was 10 years old and I had recently had surgery. There were complications and unexpected physiological changes, which caused tremendous amounts of pain. I cried harder that night then I think I had any other time in my life. The pain was unbearable and as I laid next to the toilet I begged God to just kill me already. I prayed for deliverance from this life because I knew God hated me, and I was being punished. At 10 years old I had endured so much emotional pain, and physical pain, and if that was all by the age of 10 what would my life be? I knew I didn’t want to be a punching bag my whole life. I was at a cross roads and I didn’t know where to turn.

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Not long after that surgery I returned to school where I would befriend a classmate. He was always quiet and reserved, but our friendship didn’t come of our own doing. No, it would come as a compromise to a problem we faced in class. We both wanted to do our report on Abraham Lincoln so our teacher proposed we do the report together. Agreeing to her terms, we set out to do the best report we could, and after a weekend at his house I foresaw a great friendship rise. All these years later me and him are still friends, and in fact after living with them on and off for 6 years, we became brothers. Had it not been for that relationship, at that time in my life, I cannot say where I’d be now. Looking back I realized God had answered my prayer, He just didn’t do it in a way I thought he would. The weeks turned to months, and then years, and now looking back 24 years later at everything I’ve endured, I have learned one simple truth. God does not choose the strongest, or the smartest, he chooses those he knows will endure the test of time. Look at the Apostle Paul for instance. Here’s a man that hated the Christians. He persecuted them, and in his hatred and rage hunted them and in some cases executed them. Christians knew his name and were in fear of him. I think we all have our own Damascus road. Paul was chosen I feel for many reasons. First was his unique citizenship, he was both Jewish, and a Roman citizen. He knew scripture front and back, and he came with a high education, and authority. Of all these things, Paul would be able to use his past to preach the Gospel of Jesus Christ. He would be made to endure hardships beyond our dreams. He would face physical and emotional pain the rest of his life. God didn’t choose him to stand up to the Romans and fight an army. God chose him to build a legacy. God knew Paul could faithfully endure and in those hardships he showed as an example of how to live in Christ. His teaching changed the face of the Church forever, and even though he would be tortured and eventually murdered he shows us how much a man can take in the name of the Lord.

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When the bad things happen, trauma, death, sickness, economic hardships, we often ask the same question, “Why Me?” The bigger questions, is why not you? I know this doesn’t sound fair, but give me a moment, and I’ll explain. First, bad things happen for a few reasons, either A: Your own choices caused it to happen. B: Someone else close to you caused it to happen. C: God allowed something to happen. No matter the reason, it happened, and we have a choice on how much the why will bother us. We can ask God for an answer but if I have learned anything it’s the answer may not present itself for years or in some cases decades down the road.

We cannot expect an answer because if life is the test, what kind of test would it be if the professor gave you the answers? Sometimes we need to learn things for ourselves, and we have to do the one thing that’s stated over and over in scripture, and that’s to have faith. Growing up through so many hardships I know my faith was on rocky ground. I know for a long time I was angry with God for allowing me to go through so much pain and suffering. I was so furious that for many years I barely spoke to God. He became the estranged father and even though I was angry and we didn’t speak, I always knew he was still there. God let me be angry, but never left my side, and never stepped letting me know He was still there. When I moved in with my Grandpa life had turned around for me. School was good for the first time in forever, and even dating started for me. Life wouldn’t be without it’s ups and downs, but for the first time in as far back as I could remember I was genuinely happy.

As the years would move forward I would find myself going through horrible situations, but I never asked God why. It would be years before I would beg God for release and when he said no, and this time I heard him, I knew the power and grace of God. I finally got it, and would understand the purpose. I have spoke in depth about the process of sword making, and I have realized that even though I wasn’t the strongest physically, or even the smartest, I would have one quality that God wanted. I would be able to shoulder the responsibility and walk with Christ. I could carry my cross and preach and teach the Gospel, but only because all those years of suffering, of pushing through, I was being trained. Everyone has divine gifts but no matter what they are they must be used and practiced. We must put forth effort in order to have these gifts grow and become useful for God. The things I endured I would be able to look back and see how I can now use it to preach the Gospel. One thing I’ve learned is God waists nothing. Every hardship we face God can turn into a blessing for us to use to Glorify His name. God wants those who can fight the good fight and will shoulder the cross. Often times those who have been broken will be the ones to be remade in Christ and set forth as soldiers. If you think about it, it makes sense that if someone’s lived off the silver spoon and never had to work for anything; on what authority do they have to speak of hardships? Those who struggle and have made it through have experience on their sides. We can share our testimony and people can relate to hardships.

Psalm 118:6-9“The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me? The Lord is on my side as my helper; I shall look in triumph on those who hate me. It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man. It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in princes.” Trusting in the Lord isn’t easy, and it takes a lot of work, but the rewards for that trust are beyond our imagining. I realize now that each and every one of my horrible things has been preparing me and guiding me down where I would be able to use those horrible things in my life to help others. Romans 8:28“28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” For all things God is working out the plan. I never would have dreamed my experiences as a child would be so useful as an adult, but now with my direction as a crisis chaplain I will undoubtedly encounter small children and I can put myself in their shoes. Have faith that just because you don’t know the reason today, doesn’t mean you’ll never know it. Trust in God’s big picture, and you will do just fine. Change your perspective from the negative to finding something positive. Remember your brain is like your body, if you put bad stuff in, that’s what you’re going to get out of it. If you put good stuff in you’ll be positive and healthier. Changing your focus isn’t easy but with hard work and practice you’ll do just fine. God Bless.

 

 

How Can We Love If We Don’t Know What Love Is?

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How Can We Love If We Don’t Know What Love Is?

Have you ever been in love? Have you ever been so in love you’d lay down your very life to protect theirs? Love is a wonderful and a dangerous thing all at the same time. Love can cause us to do things of great beauty and it can also cause people to do crazy dangerous things that would be considered sinful. I was recently listening to a song by Michael Bolton called When A Man Loves A Woman and it talks about how far a man would go.

When A Man Loves A Woman By: Michael Bolton

When a man loves a woman

Can’t keep his mind on nothin’ else

He’d trade the world

For a good thing he’s found

If she is bad, he can’t see it

She can do no wrong

Turn his back on his best friend

If he puts her down

When a man loves a woman

Spend his very last dime

Trying to hold on to what he needs

He’d give up all his comforts

And sleep out in the rain

If she said that’s the way

It ought to be

Scripture goes into great lengths about what love is. I have lived this life and have seen true horrors. I have had many run ins with death and it has given me a perspective and a personal position you don’t see very often with most people. As I have come close to death many times I have grasped onto those in my life and I’ve held on tightly. I treasure my friends and I would feel a deep loss when one would decide to move on. I have watched as many friends have walked away, and worse, women I have loved. I have held on tightly and when it’s ended, I have often felt as if I’d lost a piece of myself. I grew up searching for love. I grew up hoping to find someone to love and want me in their life. I have often been the one left behind for one reason or another, but I am the one picking up the pieces of a broken heart. I have always thought I held love in my heart to the T of what we are taught love to be. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.”

What does all this mean? When we love one another we must let go of our pride, our need to be the center of attention. We must learn it’s not a feeling. Love is an emotional charge at first, but as it grows, it must become more. Love must be more then a feeling because if we base our life on only feelings we’d be in trouble. We would be making decisions without reason. Love however is something we do. Loving someone is an action we must participate in every day. Love is how we treat people every single day. When we truly break down every sentence in 1 Corinthians we must truly let that sink in. We must truly allow ourselves to realize that love isn’t about self. John 15:13“Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” As a soldier I would have given my life for any one of my brothers or sisters in arms. As a husband I was willing to give my life for my wife, not once but twice. I always thought about their safety before my own. I’m not a perfect man, but I always wanted their happiness to be a priority for me. I was willing to give up my own pride, my own dreams, my own desires to satisfy the needs of the woman I loved. I knew what love was for me, and I have always maintained my position on love. I’ve been devastated by those whom I’ve loved most dear in this life, but I remain hopeful for the future that one day I might fight someone to love me that much.

In this life people will come and go, but we must learn how precious life is, and make the very best of the time we have. We must learn how to give our hearts to those we have in our life, and trust that even if people never reciprocate our feelings that God always will. People are fickle creatures and some will use you as long as there’s something in it for them, and if someone better is perceived to come along, they may leave. I will say that’s a lie straight from the pit of Hell, and if people are that willing to sacrifice life, sacrifice you in such a way, that’s not love. Love is meant to be stronger then anything, but when in the hands of people who sin, people who are selfish, love can be corrupted by the Devil.

I want to point out one part of the marriage relationship knowing it’s only half of the equation. Ephesians 5:25“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,” In the last couple years I’ve seen marriage after marriage fall, and while it comes back to a fundamental failure in loving one another, I will say that we are in sad shape as a human race. We cannot expect anyone to respect us if we don’t respect ourselves. The failure is a widespread epidemic and it needs to be dealt with. As a man I want to touch base on a man’s roll in the relationship. Men, we need to stop focusing on ourselves and realize that we are both the provider, and the leader of our household. We are to lead our home by a position of strength and by example. We must realize that our place is to protect the home at all cost up to ones own life, and that doesn’t mean just from physical threats. Our place is to protect the home from spiritual warfare also. We must show our children how to treat others. We must show our children how to be men, or how men should treat a lady. We should show them how to be friends, show them how to be responsible, and how to live in Christ.

Something I learned a little while back was how damaging the lack of a fathers love could be for a child. As a father we are responsible for loving our wives and children and we are responsible for what they see in their youth. In 2 Samuel we see David have an affair as King. We see him take Bathsheba into his bedchambers knowing she was married to one of his most trusted advisors. We see her get pregnant and instead of coming forward with his sin he plots to make the baby look like Uriah’s. When that plan fails, David then plots to have Uriah murdered. And if plotting wasn’t bad enough, Uriah was moved into a position in the war, on a mission where he would surely die, and he did. David did all this and although we don’t see it in the narrative, we see the actions of David’s oldest child later on down the road. Yesterday I discussed Amnon and how he lusted after his half sister. This was a forbidden relationship by many different laws of the time. When she would not give him what he wanted willingly, he took it by force. In doing this he not only destroyed her life, but threw her out of his chambers with the markings of trash. Who would he have learned that kind of behavior from then his very own dad, the King. The sins of the father are seen reborn in the children.

Love is certainly not an easy thing to do all the time, but we must. Love is hard and takes constant effort, but when we love the way we should, we can see the change in our lives with how others perceive us. Love is the greatest thing we have and it’s in that love we receive grace from God when we never deserve it. It’s in that love we see the sacrifice made by Jesus for us on Calvary’s Cross. We can never do enough to earn our own way into Heaven, but it’s by the Love of God and the grace and ransom paid by God’s only Son Jesus Christ, that we see the true meaning of love. How do we live our lives? How do we treat those in our circle of influence? Do we love them, or do we treat them with a casual indifference?

We only get one chance in this world to make positive connections with people. Sure we may not get along with everyone we meet, but we are still obligated to show love and respect to one another. We must learn and have a solid understanding of what true love really is. If we are to have respect for the word we need to understand how we ought to behave. Love is not a word we should toss around lightly. It’s something that demands respect of the word and those whom we tell we love, demand respect for them. Don’t confuse love for lust, and don’t be swayed by the world idea that you can fall out of love. If it was real love, and it was taken care of like love should be, there should be no way to fall out of love. Divorce should not be as rampant as it is. If we would love the right way from the start many marriages would never happen to begin with, and people would find their true compatibility with a higher rate of success. Love is not a children’s recess word, it’s something special, something sacred, and we need to stop downplaying its true meaning. Love truly does concur all.

 

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Held by a Savior

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Held by a Savior

In the last year my followers have seen that I have experienced some significant hardships, but the thing is, we all do. It’s not about the hardships, it’s about how we survive them. Everyone experiences their own trials, and their own troubles. We all have our tears that pour from our faces, and we all experience pain that while others may be able to sympathize, or empathize with us, it’s our own pain and no one knows exactly what we feel. We all have our stories that can be either inspiration as what to do, or not to. What is it to be a man? What is it to be a woman? I believe the truth is in how we handle our pain and how we endure the cross. Do we endure with dignity that would make people proud, or do we allow our lives to fall apart and crumble beneath our feet?

It’s a fine line I think between falling down, and throwing everything away. It’s okay to not be okay. I think those who actively follow a path of self-destruction are those who throw away. I think those who follow that path forgot how to live life. Life isn’t easy and it was never promised to be. Living life is knowing we have our issues, and finding ways to live our lives by embracing them and using them for the betterment of others, or learning to overcome them. I have PTSD and I am finding how to help others with it. I didn’t get here without falling down. I didn’t get to where I am today without facing down the wrong side life. We fall down and we get back up. We fall down and we have a choice, do we learn to ask for help, or do we try it our way? I don’t mean help by way of friends, family or professional help. I mean God. We are always going to be stumbling through life. We are always going to have one crisis after another, and every time we stumble or fall, we have an opportunity to learn how to ask God for help. True healing, true redemption is through Christ. The blood spilt on Calvary’s cross that day broke the bondage of slaves to sin, for a life free and full of choice to live in the light of Christ, or the shadows of the Devil.

Bad things happen to everyone, but we can choose to overcome. PTSD doesn’t define me, anxiety doesn’t define me, and no matter how much it hurts my childhood, and my divorces don’t’ define me. I didn’t ask for this life of pain and suffering, but here we are. I’m not perfect and I’ve made plenty of mistakes. I have not always held my tongue when I should have. I haven’t always said the nicest of words to my loved ones, but I try hard to be a man God would be proud of. I know my Savior is Christ, and I know that in his blood my mistakes are washed clean. I know that I will fall and make mistakes, but I know in God’s eyes my mistakes aren’t going to condemn me forever. We as a people should learn not to judge so quickly. We should learn to see the mistakes and keep an open mind. We are all human and we all screw up. Instead of a life of judgment, of ridicule, open your heart with love, and see through the eyes beyond the cover.

We have so many blessing in our life and we often overlook them in our waking moments. The gift of life, the breath we take and the days we have are the biggest blessing we take for granted. The poorest of the poor in this nation often have far more then those of other poor nations. We have food, and shelter, and we have people in our lives that care for us. As for me, I have more money then I need, maybe not as much as I want, but needs and wants are very different. I have my dogs, my mother, and I have a warm bed to sleep in. I have my car, and I am debt free. I don’t struggle with bills, and I don’t have to worry where my next meal is coming from. I have friends that care about me, and are there for me when I need them. I know that no matter how dark the darkest day, how deep my pain runs, and I know that no matter how bruised and bettered I become, Jesus is still right there going through it all with me. Jesus is my faithful friend, and the Abba of all is by my side.

I know this year’s been hard, and that I have posted about a lot of hardships and pain, but isn’t that what life is? It’s not about the hardships we endure; it’s how we endure them. Pain comes and when it does we are expected to use the sandals and dig in and hold our ground. Expressing hardships isn’t a sign of weakness or even a sign of complaining (in some cases) it’s about how we can find our strength to persevere in Christ our Savior. We know some days will be great, and others will bring more pain then we think we can handle. We will see the peace of the meadow, and we will face the valley of death, but no matter what our day is, we know one thing is absolutely certain, Christ our Savior is always with us. Psalm 23 “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.”

Remember one thing if nothing else; we are never alone and we never know when our testimony will save someone else. We never know whom we may meet, and how we may affect their life. Let me help you if I can, let me be there for you if you need it. My email is always open if you need to talk about God. We are called to lean on one another and help lift each other up. We are called to bare one another’s burdens and use our tongue to lift up and never to tear down. We always have the opportunity to help our neighbors and I promise you, you don’t have to look far to find someone in need of love. Our world is a fallen one, shrouded in sin and pain. It’s the love we are taught to give that is our hope. We are told to Love as Christ Loved us, and we are told to do this to all of our neighbors, not just the ones we like. We cannot surly do this on our own and we were never expected to. We are taught to turn to one another, turn to God. We know that without Christ we are nothing and without the grace of God we cannot surely do anything. I know that today, yesterday, and tomorrow I’ve always needed my Lord. I am not strong enough alone. I am not brave enough on my own. I know that I didn’t survive Iraq without God’s protecting hands. I know the literal circle of protection surrounding my truck that day was nothing short of a miracle. I know when I was shot that without God’s grace I surly would have died. I know that I have needed God and I always will. The Lord is my Sheppard, my strength, my savior, and I know when I cannot stand I fall on the Lord. Jesus is the only hope I will ever truly need, and as my needs arise, I trust the Lord will provide, and provide always.