Tag: loss

Ashes Ashes, They All Fall Down

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

Ashes Ashes, They All Fall Down

The tongue is a powerful tool. So many people will come and go out of your life, but I think we’ve lost the ability to truly care for people. How I’ve seen friendships grow, and grow, and yet in the blink of an eye crumble like a house made of cards. The spark that lit the match and the whole of the friendship burnt down to ash all around. The tongue has the ability to lift up and do and say great things, but at the same time it can destroy, and tear down all manner of friendships. Scripture is very clear about the power of the tongue, and love. Both of which go hand in hand, but how often is the words in the Holiest of Holy books ignored. What does scripture say about the tongue and what we say? 

Proverbs 21:23 (NKJV)

23 “Whoever guards his mouth and tongue

Keeps his soul from troubles.”

Ephesians 4:29 (NKJV)

29 “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary [a]edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.”

Proverbs 12:18 New King James Version (NKJV)

18 “There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword,

But the tongue of the wise promotes health.”

When people are wounded they often justify the hurting of others. They say and do anything to make sure they don’t get hurt, and if that means they shut themselves off from the world and caring for others, the sad fact is, it happens all the time. 

In the last…. Well most of my life, I’ve watched my friendships, and relationships build up, and then in the blink of an eye topple over and burn to the ground in ash. In fact, it hasn’t just been friendships I’ve watched burn to the ground but nearly all relationships that I’ve held most dear. Not a day goes by when I don’t look to the future and wonder what my days will hold. Every day I walk is a day I have to put forth effort. Every day I watch my steps, and I would be lying if I said I didn’t wonder what relationship was going to burn to the ground on any given day. Some may call it cynical, but from my perspective, it’s more of a manner of time then anything else. Wounds made by the tongue are hard to get over sometimes. Wounds that are from the collapse of a relationship (friendship, marriage, etc.) are even harder to manage. It took me years to realize the hurtful nature of people, and even longer to realize the love and mercy of my Abba Father. Despite so many losses, through it all I know that my God is still by my side daily. It’s taken me years of hurt, and heartache to get to a point where I am no longer crushed under the waves of the sea. 

When we care for someone, or care for people, how must we act? We are told time and again how important our tongue is, and how damaging it can be. I myself am not free from sin in the matter. In my past I’ve often let things from my lips that I knew where hurtful, specifically because I was hurt, and in my vanity and in my pride, I wanted to send my pain right back at the other person. Love is the only way to fight evil. Love is the only way to return pain that can be inflicted. The old Axum is true “hurting people hurt others.” Love however, is not just love of a spouse but the love we must all share for one another. 

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NKJV)

“4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not [a]puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, [b Keeps no accounts of evil] Thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

If love suffers long, that means being first in line that suffering long is the most important aspect of love. It also keeps no record of wrong doing. If we are to love in this manner, that means we are to speak no ill words towards those we love. Sadly this is perhaps the most difficult thing people will face in their lives. This world hurts us deeply and that anger, and resentment quickly hardens the heart. Fear of being hurt can often turn outwards and instead of words being used to lift up, to show love, to show kindness, that fear sabotages friendships, or relationships and sinks ships. 

When words are thrown around, or even when actions against someone is taken, behind it all at the root of it all is self. Even if the root is self-preservation, the base is self, and self often leads to sin. Sin destroys everything it touches. Sin is cancer, it’s a disease, it’s the cause of evil in the world. Sin is what causes our lips to spew venom. The lips and the forked tongue behind them are the most powerful weapon on the planet, and sadly the amount of broken hearts, the amount of tears, the amount of pain that’s it caused far surpass the number of dead throughout all eternity. The tongue is such a small little thing, yet driven by the sinful heart, produces terrible amounts of pain. 

In my life I’ve been blamed for my own suffering. I’ve been told I was worthless. I have been told I should kill myself. I’ve bene told I was ugly. I’ve been told I would never find happiness. I’ve been told I deserved to be cheated on. I’ve been told I was so awful that anyone around me would want to kill themselves just to get away from me. The list could go on for miles, but I think the point has been made. Eminem once said “they can be great Or they can degrade, or even worse they can teach hate” (Sing for the moment, Eminem). How true, words have such power. In a life lived where there’s been so many words pointed in my direction, how have I managed to push forward? In some instances I’m still working on it. I’ve slowly come to realize just because someone says something doesn’t make it true. Even though the words hurt, there is power in love and forgiveness. Despite the failings, and the destruction of so many different relationships through the years, I try to maintain optimism that each and every new friendship will be different. This isn’t always the case, and I sometimes find myself being hurt, abandoned, or ‘ghosted’ in today’s society. It isn’t easy watching people leave, or have such a disregard for someone’s feelings, but we must remember that to put our faith in people is foolish. Placing your faith in God is the only absolute. People and their sin nature will let you down, they will hurt you, they will fail you, and you will be powerless to stop it. It’s not easy, or fair, but it’s the sad reality of living in a fallen world. I’ve watched helplessly as friendships fell to ruin, and I always blamed myself. I felt I was at fault, and it was me. Perhaps to some extent it was me, but what’s more likely is my taste in friends. If I choose friends who will speak ill, abandon me in a time of need, only come around when they need something, then apropos they are not the Christian friends I need or needed in my life. 

Hold onto the friendships you can, and those you can’t, let them go. Hold onto the relationships you can but the ones that will leave you, let them leave, and remember Jesus Christ will never leave, nor will he ever forsake you. Hope misplaced can be devastating, so we must hope in the Lord, and hope for the best in people, but prepare for the worst from them. The Lord’s love is never in question, nor is his presence in your life. There is only one cure for sin and that’s Jesus Christ, but so long as we live in this world, even those who know Christ are still subject to sin, and thus still subject to letting down those they care for. Don’t let a forked tongue burn down your relationships. Don’t let hateful speech flow from your lips. Don’t let words that do not build up break the sound waves. Don’t let your friendships turn to ash. Don’t let your relationship be damaged by words of hate or anger. Hold your tongue, hold your voice. Just because something is the truth doesn’t mean it has to be said. Just because you have a thought doesn’t mean it needs to be spoken. Remember that people have feelings and hurting someone is like hurting Jesus. We are one body in Christ and to hurt one is to hurt Christ. 

Hold yourself to a higher standard and really dive into scripture about how we are to talk to one another, behave towards one another, and how we expect God to behave towards us. We expect a different behavior from God, when we treat others badly. Don’t allow Satan to harden your heart with anger and hatred, and fear. God gives us a spirit of courage, not of fear. Don’t allow the song “ring around the rosy” to represent your friendships or relationships. As for me, I watch friendships dissolve to ash, and one by one they fall down. 

Pearl Harbor

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

Pearl Harbor

December 7th1941, a date in which the Empire of Japan deliberately, and maliciously attacked the Pacific Naval Fleet on the island of Pearl Harbor. 77 years ago over 2000 were killed, over another 1000 wounded, and countless ships and aircraft destroyed. We remember today the sacrifice made by the men and women who served and gave everything on this morning 77 years ago. What does it mean to serve? What does it mean to sacrifice? 

Jesus said, John 15:13 (NKJV)13 “Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.” The end for so many is a scary time. For millions the end of their life whether it’s of old age, or taken by way of an accident is a terrifying ordeal. There are so many people who are lost in the end who never knew the love of Jesus Christ. I think of the over 2000 souls lost 77 years ago and wonder how many of them were saved. I think back of what that morning in Hawaii must have been like. The weather was beautiful and much like any other morning people were at work, and none of them knew it would be their last day, their last chance to know Jesus Christ. I think of those who died in the Arizona as the air slowly faded and the slow time it took to face the truth that it would be their last day. The sad, yet undeniable truth is that we never know when our time is up. The biggest question is what have we done, or what will we do with the time we have left, however long that may be? 

Psalm 90:12“So teach us to number our days, That we may gain a heart of wisdom.”I remember when I was in the military and I never knew when the last day might come. I went on mission wondering if it would be my last, if my number were up that day. While the experience stuck with me for years, I can remember being both calm and terrified at the same time. I recall feeling at ease because I knew where I was going, but also I found it upsetting all the things I would never be able to do. It seems irrational thinking about all the things yet to experience in this life considered the perfection of Heaven, but the feelings I experienced were very real. I had been a Christian my whole life up till that point 20-21 years, but all things considered I was a baby in my faith. It wasn’t until many years later that I would have a much better and in depth view of what it truly means to be Christian. 

Today the thought of so many people in this world who don’t know Christ and who will never know the eternal life of Heaven breaks my heart. The evidence points to the Gospels being true accounts, the Non-Biblical accounts corroborate many of the Biblical facts. Even with that people choose to think of Jesus as a myth, a crazy man, or just a regular guy who did nice things for people. The facts are fairly plane when you put all the pieces together instead of picking and choosing what to focus on. While it’s true none of us saw what happened that day, the fact remains that there are eyewitness accounts of the acts of Jesus Christ, and the ‘facts’ point to a risen Christ with an empty tomb. The empty tomb shows Christ overcame death and promised we too who follow would also overcome death.

I think it’s important to use events like Pearl, Boston, 9/11, San Bernardino, even events like hurricanes, that we understand the end day is never promised to be after a long life. We must count our days, and to gain a heart of wisdom is to be blessed by God. We are blessed in salvation, but we must accept that salvation. We must place our hope in the Son, and accept the nature of life, and that it’s not told to us when or how the end comes. It’s better to be prepared and to know the savior and be at ease when the moment of death arrives no matter if it’s at a ripe old age, or a sudden accident. We need to count the blessings for each and every day, and understand tomorrow is never promised.

God Won’t Leave

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

God Won’t Leave

 

I wrote to you and you said stuff too. I fell for your lies and you left me feeling like a fool. How could I have not seen it earlier, instead I had to feel. You said you cared but then you were gone. How can someone care then disappear? I believed you and gave you my attention my ear as you lifted me up and told me a beautiful lie. I listened to you and fell for the line that wasn’t true at all. How often have I fallen for the same lie over and over in my life? The truth is sometimes hard to swallow, as I have now been smacked in the face with, you didn’t care about me at all, just about yourself and as soon as I didn’t give you a certain feeling, you left. How long I have looked for something real, someone truthful, and faithful, but have come up empty handed. Thankful I am that God doesn’t leave me the first time I don’t live up to his expectations. Thankful God’s grace and love are bigger then anything I could ever imagine. I am thankful that the God who created the universe loves me enough to lend me His ear, hold me when I’m sad, and never leaves me.

 

Isaiah 41:10 (NASB) ‘Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’”  God’s grace is something amazing and we often overlook it because we are too busy to count the blessings we have. I have had an all out yelling match with God, but I know He’s still there. He can take my faults and love me just as I am. As I watch one by one the majority of new people I have met have left and have done so without a word with their exit. God is my hero and knowing God won’t leave or forsake me gives me strength to carry on past the hurt.

 

I am a person, and I feel but it seems my feelings don’t matter much to the majority of people I have in my life. Thankfully God hears my heart and knows my feelings. I may not always get what I want, but God doesn’t set out to hurt me like other people do. People have forgotten the feelings of others, and it’s a sad day when close friends no longer show they care. Watching as people lie, and say whatever they want to try and get something is heart breaking. God though, doesn’t have to lie to get anything from us. Joshua 1:9“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

 

Dealing with the emotional fall out from so much disappointment, it’s hard to understand how this happens, but God will strengthen me, and I will watch as the purging wildfire continue to rages on in my life.

 

 

Tears On My Pillow

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

Tears On My Pillow

I’ve spent many nights since my life was flipped upside down more than two years ago crying, tears staining my pillow. I hide my face in shame, shame for where I am, shame for what I’ve done. Shame for being a failure, and for not being any further along in my life. It’s a rough time but faith in God has gotten me through many nights. Even great men of faith cry. No matter what you’re told it’s okay to cry. Ecclesiastes 3:4“A time to weep, And a time to laugh; A time to mourn, And a time to dance;” We have been given tears for a reason, tears allow the strong emotions we have to be shed in a physical way. Much like laughter it’s important we allow our bodies to feel. If David himself went to the Lord with tears in his eyes, who are we to say men don’t cry?

 

Psalm 6:6“I am weary with my groaning; All night I make my bed swim; I drench my couch with my tears.” It’s perfectly normal to cry when you’re sad, or feeling hopeless. It’s important to know that there is always hope. Crying is a way to relieve the pressure that builds up inside. It is part of the array of emotions we feel, and it’s important to know that while the stigma can be that grown men don’t cry, that’s a bunch of societal crap.

 

John 11:35“Jesus wept.”  Our Lord and savior cried and in front of others. Don’t be afraid to cry, and please don’t tech your children, especially your boys that it’s not okay to cry. This world is full of young people who don’t know how to express their emotions and the damage it’s causing is severe. We must learn to have a healthy range of emotions. Crying does not mean you’re weak, and it does not mean you have no hope. Jesus is the hope, the one way, the truth, and the everlasting life. Trust in Him, pray to Him, and know that when you cry, Christ cries with you.

Grief

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

Grief

There has been times I’ve dealt with grief well, and then times I haven’t. Every situation I’ve been in where death was present was a new experience every time. When my grandpa passed away in 2010 I was at peace with it. Knowing he has passed peacefully, and where he was going gave me great joy. The dream I had just before his last moments of me being by his bedside and him squeezing my hand before he passed, being awoken by the phone I knew he was gone.

Loosing a loved one to an affair and watching a marriage end is also something in which we grieve. Sadly as I have gone through this twice in my life, I can say the second time didn’t go so well. I tried very hard to keep my witness. I tried to remain calm and not yell, and focused on repairing the damage that was done. As I watched as my efforts failed I couldn’t help but see that moment as a reflection of every failure, every hardship, every heartbreak I had ever faced. Left with a tsunami of emotions and unable to see myself out of the crisis I was in, I took drastic steps to stop what seemed to be the end of the line. I was a train headed for a brick wall and I needed to stop before I crashed. Instead of slowing the train my actions derailed it. I was so Ill prepared for the trial I faced and I was left with shame, regret, sadness, fear, hopelessness, and several other emotions to include a complete failure of self-esteem.

In the years that have followed I have grown and found direction and purpose. It hasn’t been without it’s ups and downs but I have found ways to manage the feelings I have. I have been thinking back this month specifically of all the grief I’ve had just in the month of September alone. I have faced death, divorce, near death personally and so much more. September every year brings up a mixed bag of emotions and can sometimes fill my cup with more then I can take. I think about those in scripture that have had to manage grief, and one place comes to mind. 2 Samuel 19:1-4“And Joab was told, “Behold, the king is weeping and mourning for Absalom.” 2 So the victory that day was turned into mourning for all the people. For the people heard it said that day, “The king is grieved for his son.” 3 And the people [a]stole back into the city that day, as people who are ashamed steal away when they flee in battle. 4 But the king covered his face, and the king cried out with a loud voice, “O my son Absalom! O Absalom, my son, my son!”

It’s been at least a day since David learned of his sons death in battle. Absalom overthrew his father in a well-planned coup. David fled to avoid bloodshed.  Absalom had every plan to kill his father and would have if he’d gotten the chance. David however wanted to capture Absalom but that’s not what happened. Due to Absalom being a politician and not a warrior the battle goes badly, and after Absalom gets stuck in a tree by his hair, he is executed by the order of Joab, David’s number 1 general. David’s actions as King demoralize his loyal soldiers returning home after at least a year on the run, and watching their King making a scene for all the city to see.

How do we act when we grieve? Do we act as if there is no hope in the world? 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 “But I do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have fallen [a]asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have no hope. 14 For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who [b]sleep in Jesus.” Paul is telling us we should not face death with such a grievance attitude, instead celebrate the life lived because if we believe in Christ and all that He did for us, we know that for believers we will enter into the gates of heaven and feel no more pain or suffering. There’s a line at the end of Harry Potter Deathly Hallows Part 2. Dumbledore says to Harry, “Do not pity the dead harry, pity the living.”How often I have seen people who’ve lost someone they were close to, and it’s destroyed their entire life. I knew a lady, mid 40’s, she lost her own mother to cancer. In the weeks and months that followed she turned to alcohol to manager her grief. Eventually it caused a divide in her own marriage and she was left alone. After two DUI’s the hope was she would seek help dealing with her drinking, and also her grief. Sadly before that happened she was drunk one night, fell and hit her head. She bled out and died alone. This story is completely true, but also a stern reminder how important it is for us as Christians to manage our own grief in a healthy way. There is no set way in scripture to manage grief, but if we are to walk with Jesus we know that we are to be different then the world. We of all people have hope in the risen Christ, and we need to be that reminder in our own communities as they deal with grief and loss.

In the wake of hurricane Florence we see families dealing with grief and loss on major scales. As homes have been completely lost, and families deal with the loss of loved ones, we as Christians need to go forth and show love to all those who around us. Christians need to be the guiding light of Christ as we show the world who Christ was. We cannot be a bright light if we fall to ruin any time something bad happens. There will be a time to grieve, but we must always remember the hope we have in Christ. Do not allow grief to steel your joy. Be grateful in the future and know that one day we will be in Heaven where there are no more tears, no more sorrow. We will all endure hardships in this life, loss of all kinds, from houses, to jobs, to loved ones, even our own health, but this life is only a temporary shell, our true life still awaits. The best is yet to come, and we need to remember that the next time tragedy strikes. Be a difference in this world, grieve when you must, and know that our emotions are given to us for a reason. It’s always important to make sure our emotions fit the facts of the situation. Make sure your emotions don’t control you. If you can manage that, and trust, have faith in Jesus Christ, you can be a big difference for those around you.

Giving Yourself Away

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

Giving Yourself Away

It starts of small, just once, just a little bit, and that’s when it takes hold. We give up one small piece of our principles, and then another, and before long the black and white becomes gray. The fall doesn’t always happen quickly, sometimes it’s a slow moving enemy that creeps along scrapping at your heart a little at a time.

We often stand on our principles determined not to give in to temptations of this fallen world. We see the fall happening all around us. We see public figures from government to Hollywood getting caught with their principles around their ankles. We see politicians accepting bribes, actors turning to drugs and more and more sex candles rock the new like never before. We have watched as our nation endures the slow fade in what is now accepted on this earth and ignoring the once proud biblical principles we once stood strong on.

We face temptations and the first time we tell ourselves ‘It’s okay, just this once.” We have taken the step into the quicksand. Sin can be described many different ways. Sometimes a major event can alter perceptions, but I like to think those circumstances are more rare. I think sin is more like boiling a frog. The water is cool when the frog is dropped in so the frog doesn’t notice anything is wrong. As the water heats (as sing grows and spreads) by the time the frog realizes anything is wrong it’s too late, the damage is done. (We find ourselves buried under the mound of sin.)

So many marriages that end due to affairs you see the near identical timelines. “It started off very innocent and we were just friends.” The slow draw of sinful lust can creep in untamed yet slowly as to not draw attention to the danger ahead. Most affairs could be snuffed out with a single choice to walk away. The little steps that make the right and wrong to an ambivalence for those their actions may affect. The truth is sin attacks at each of our hearts differently. The choices we made “there’s a price to be paid, people never crumble in a day.”(Slow Fade, Third Day)

I’ve lived with a broken heart twice as I’ve seen thoughts betray a promise made but not kept. I’ve watched the life I had crumble away. The heart was betrayed, lied to by desire, fooled by lust, and choices made destroyed so much more then a home. I’ve seen drugs take hold of people’s lives with the lies and promises that the substance make them feel better. But eventually the affects of the drugs wear off and more is needed. Then more, and before you know it you’re chasing one high to the next unable and unwilling to handle life. What seemed benign at first slowly turned to tear down the walls of everything you held most dear.

Do now allow the darkness to grab hold. Don’t allow yourself to fall victim to the thoughts that pull you away from Christ. Once down the dark path though hope is never lost, you don’t want the veiled promises. You can’t trust the lies, the whispers from the Devil. The price paid for the retched path is high. “The bill comes due, always.” (Dr. Strange) We don’t need to face those horrible consequences if we stay on the path laid out by Christ. Turn away form lies, and turn away from adultery. Stay away from hate, and don’t give into the fear. We must learn to praise God in the sun, or the rain. We must pray joy, peace, love, but if there’s a storm we must we must pray that no matter where we find ourselves we do it all for the glory of God.

God shines down from heaven today, and no matter what your situation is on this day, raise your hands to the sky, praise Jesus for the life we have. Find hope that the storm will settle, or the meadow is peaceful. Wherever the road takes you today, trust and praise Jesus. While you draw breath there is always hope. Never give up hope on God for the calm waters might be just around the river bend.

Hello, Is Anyone There?

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

Hello, Is Anyone There?

What do we want, what we really, really want? We want attention. We want to feel accepted, and to feel wanted. We want to feel like we are important, and yet in our lives, how often do we make anyone feel important to us? We want to know God’s listening to us, and that God loves us, but how often do you give anything back? How often do you make your decisions based on what would bring glory to God?

When things don’t go your way do you throw a tantrum like a little child? Do you stomp your proverbial feet, and huff and puff? I’m sure at some point we all have. It’s easy to be distracted by life and take our focus away from God. It’s easy to wonder when we will get our blessings, and we expect to be rewarded for a job well done. Even in my own career when I don’t receive adulation I become frustrated and I feel like my skills or experience is being taken advantage of or under utilized.

God wants our attention and if needed He will get your attention, but you probably won’t like how. We must learn to focus our time and energy better. We must learn to take the time to bring glory to the father and trust in his will.

I have walked away along my own path before and when things went badly because I thought I could do it my way, I got frustrated and had a frank conversation with God. We’ll obviously the big guy upstairs gave me the best Red Forman I’d ever seen as I didn’t just get the smack upside the back of the head, but I got the boot too. We can try to do it our way, but don’t get mad when you ignore the warning and stick your finger in a light socket.

We want people to notice us and we often go to great lengths to make noise for people to see us. How many kids get in trouble at school just so someone will notice them? How many mass shooting/suicides are done by those who lived as loners, who wanted people to love them and pay attention to them? The numbers are staggering when we realize that if we just loved a little more, most major tragedies could be avoided.

I say this to you, the only thing that truly matters is the love of the Lord. We can walk with people all day long, but people are cruel, and judgmental, and are often self-centered. The cost for not turning to the Lord can be high, and in most cases much higher then we’re willing to pay. Though we’re not willing to pay it, but when we spend so much time ignoring God can we truly be surprised by the consequences of our own actions? You can spend far less time and energy loving God and walking on God’s terms, then the misery you’ll find yourself in and the effort you’ll spend trying to fix your life when it all goes to Hades. Do it right the first time and God won’t have to smack you on your head. You have attention, but you just need to focus on where it’s coming from. If you don’t feel like you belong keep searching because somewhere, there’s a place you’ll call home. It’s not always easy to find, but God wants you to be around like minded Christian folks. Keep searching and never give up hope. Go outside your comfort zone and put your feelers out and God will lead you where you have to go. You have to have faith. Keep pushing forward and listen to God and you’ll find your way.

My God

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

My God

I just wanted to take a moment to tell people about me. As many of you may or may not know, I have experienced a great many tragedies in my life. I’m not a perfect man, and I’ve struggled sometimes. I have watched as those I loved the most betrayed me, turned on me, and followed the ways of lust, anger, and hate. No matter the pain I’ve experienced being in the military, or in my childhood, and now into my adulthood, the thing I’ve tried to do is not let anger and hate flood into my heart. I’ve been seen through the storm time and time again. I’m alive, and I continue to breathe even though I should have died from a gun shot wound a year and a half ago. I have suffered a great many times, but in all of that suffering I have found peace in knowing God is still with me, still in control, and knowing that Jesus friend of man, savior and the defeater over death, is holding my hand walking with me.

Many people have scoffed at my belief, but I have felt the presence, heard the voice, and lived when I should have died. My God is faithful and has never abandoned me. Who am I to deserve this kind of grace and mercy? I am no one, my works are trash, my mistakes are many, my sins run deep, and yet through it all, God’s grace and love have never stopped flowing towards me. Every day I walk in the Lord I hope to be better then I was the day before. Every day I walk in the Lord I need to ask for guidance, and forgiveness. Every day I struggle with sin, and I struggle with my own wants in life. Every day for a while now I struggle with loneliness, and I wish for companionship. My God tells me to be patient and trust in his plan for me. Some day I don’t know which way to go, and some days I don’t think I can make it through, but when I feel lost, I close my eyes, and I focus on getting back to God. The path to darkness is slow and can go unnoticed, but those who give themselves to the evil ways of sin, make choices and the price to be paid is high. Because I’m not willing to pay that price, I’m not willing to wait around for that bill to be due, I turn back to Christ everyday, who waits for me, who accepts me with open arms, and I know that my sins are washed away.

Jesus changes my life every day. Even when I feel lost and saddened by my day, I know that Jesus is there with me. Even when I feel low and depressed, knowing that Jesus is with me helps. I may never know or understand why I have been forced to go through some of my struggles, or endured some of my heartbreak, but I trust my God. Everything I go through I learn from. Every struggle I’ve faced has prepared me for the battles I will face tomorrow. Every lesson we experience is an opportunity to take something positive away from it. We must go into each challenge with an open mind and an expectation that life won’t always be what we want. Life won’t always be easy, but my God promises me that my struggles won’t be in vein. My God promises me this suffering is only but a fleeting moment in the path towards eternity. I shall live my life and then as dust to dust my body shall parish, but my soul will ascend into heaven and I will sit with Jesus. My suffering today is nothing compared to what will happen if I don’t trust in the Lord. Jesus said I am the way the truth and the light, no one gets to the father except through me. Where is your heart, as for me, I trust in the Lord.

How Do You Feel?

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

How Do You Feel?

We are a nation, a society of shielding ourselves from real feelings. We are no longer a proactive society. We allow ourselves to be shielding from our feelings by way of relationships, money, and even sometimes our jobs. We no longer talk on the phone, instead we text and often people we may never meet in person. It’s easy to walk away because people don’t become attached, they don’t feel the connection. Money is the same way. We no longer feel the loss of money when we spend by just swiping the card. Instead of using the feeling of cash between our fingers we swipe the plastic and never see the connection between our money and us. We mismanage our lives poorly. We handle our money poorly, and we handle and manage our personal relationships. We don’t manage the gifts we are given by God. We don’t feel appreciative of the little things God gives us. We don’t feel that connection to our earthy gifts from our heavenly Father.

When we receive our gifts from God how do we look at those? Are we feeling our gifts, and are we any good at it? When we appreciate our gifts, when we actually have our feelers in the mix we take care of what we are given. When God gives us friendships, when God gives us people in our lives and we should cultivate those relationships. We should cultivate the money we are given, and ensure that we are using that gift to glorify God. When we feel nothing to let friends go, we must look at why we feel nothing. When we feel nothing for the money you spend, and you overspend, or use credit cards like it’s free cash, we see a society of foolish people growing.

When you look at your life and you look at what you have how do you feel? When you look at your life are you satisfied with the friends in your life? Are you satisfied with how you ended friendships? Do you feel badly with how you treated your coworker last week? How did you treat the waitress at the restaurant yesterday? If someone from the outside looked in on your life, would you be able to call yourself a Christian, or not? We all make mistake, but it’s important to understand the mistakes we are making. It’s not easy to evaluate our lives and figure out if we’re doing something right or wrong. Do we complicate our lives? Remember someone’s struggles, someone’s hardships do not constitute complications.

When we see something complicated in our society the natural reaction is to run away. We are a feel good society and we want to feel good. We want to rid our lives of anything that makes us feel anything but good. We want to emotionally spend even if we don’t have the money. We spend on credit cards because we deserve to have whatever it is we seek because we’ve earned it. We’ve had a hard day, or a hard week, and it’s decided we can indulge now, and deal with the implications latter. 1 Timothy 5:8 “But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” If we provide for our household with finances we should be willing to help the rest of our family with love and support. We are a family in Christ and therefore we should be willing to provide what’s needed for those in trials to succeed. When we look at our loved ones, or friends who are going through a hard time, and we decide that dealing with them is just bringing you down, we use our feelings and yet we aren’t behaving as Christians. We don’t talk about things that are hard because it brings negative emotions that we no longer know how to manage in our lives.

We must learn to understand that both positive and negative feelings are important. How do we appreciate our positive feelings if we never allow negative feelings to be felt? If we run away from anything negative we miss the message in scripture. Scripture teaches us we WILL face hardships. Not only are we going to face the hardships, we are also told our brothers and sisters will also face hardships. This isn’t a suggestion, but we are told to raise one another, we are told to help carry the burdens of those in need in our lives. The thing is, if we feel the need to allow those to fall around us, and we don’t pick up their cross to help them, who’s going to help you? If you were in the crowd and you watched the Lord of all things fall, bleeding, and we choose not to help Jesus Christ lift and carry his cross because we don’t want to get involved, we don’t want the negative vibes to infect, to infest our good feelings, how do we feel? You see, when we abandon those in our lives because they have some drama, or they have hardships going on in their lives, leaving them to fend for themselves is not scriptural. Now, I will say some people choose to stay in their fire. They choose not to help themselves and they bring upon their own burdens. Those people can be difficult and it can be hard to keep them in our lives. Leeches are not what I’m talking about. Helping others is a scriptural principle that is non negotiable. We must help, but we are also told to use our gifts wisely. When we help those in need especially financially we must be good stewards of what we have.

I would like to think most people do not bring their own burdens upon themselves. But if they do, we must try to show the love of Christ. We must attempt to help show them a better way. We must be willing to put ourselves out there a little to help save them. If we were in a house with a fire would we not want a firefighter to come in to the house to save us? They put themselves at risk to save us from the fire. We can all be firefighters, or rescue swimmers, and help those in crisis. We can’t expect the fire never to come because it does. I challenge you all to take a good long hard look at yourselves and see if you have been allowing someone close to you to carry his or her cross alone. Have you turned your back on someone that reached out to you for help? Have you walked away from friendships because they had too much going on? Be good stewards, and walk in Christ in your every day. Be thankful for your gifts, but those gifts may not always be there if you are not walking in Christ. If you do not use the gifts of God to glorify God, you can’t expect the gifts to keep coming if we aren’t walking with the Lord in other areas of our lives. We feel all kinds of things in our life, but we must learn to feel the grace of the Holy Spirit. That grace is important because when we allow the Holy Spirit to be in us, we will feel more empathy for others. We will often feel more sympathy for the blights of others when we are more in tuned with the thoughts and feelings of those around us. We are all in this together, and we need others to help us sometimes and it’s important to realize that love is a give emotion. We are told to love our brothers and sisters and that means being there for them when we need to. Let go of your selfish desire to rid yourself of all negativity. Negative events will happen, and it’s not about if but when. We have insurance because we want it when something goes wrong. The thing is, when the fire comes we don’t want to have to face putting it out on our own. We call for the fire department and we appreciate them being there. Our friends are the same way. We should feel the pain of others and we should be driven to help when we can. Believe it or not, when we are able to help someone through a crisis, how we feel will actually be positive making a change to someone’s life. Love all, cherish all, and be good stewards of God’s gifts. 1 Peter 4:16 “Yet if anyone suffers as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God in that name.”

 

The Raging Sea

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

The Raging Sea

My Lord,

I have often questioned why the life I’ve lived had to be so hard. I’ve questioned why I lived through such troubles. My God I have looked to you for answers to questions that aren’t easy. I’ve asked questions that haven’t been answered, and as the raging storm continues, I try to remember the truth, the Living God is still in power.

The storm comes in, almost like it formed in an instant and struck the world with a ferocious appetite. The storm churns the water and bounces and raises the waves, taller then the boat, and crashes down and fills your lungs, it fills my lungs and makes me choke under the pounding water.

My Lord, as the sea rages down and the skies are black and loud, and no matter the waves, the falling down upon my head, I know that there is still hope, there is still joy to be had. In the storm I find peace in the knowledge that God is with me. Finding truth that I will be fine in the end. The storm can’t last forever, and I know that I will endure, I will remain kind to others, I will remain loving and spread that love in the storm.

Galatians 5:22-23 “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.” No matter if we are living through the worst hell on earth, or if we have everything we could ever want, we must learn to truth in the Lord, and be faithful servants of the Lord. We must learn to love our neighbors. We must learn to have our patience with people, and patience in our trials. We must understand that we should be faithful friends, and not just friends of convenience. Are we only friends when things are shiny, or are we there in the storm? In the last several months I’ve lost friend after friend because they don’t want to be surrounded by negative ‘vibes’ as they’ve put it. That tells me that they have no desire to watch or be apart of the struggles of someone else’s life, a fair weather friend. We aren’t faithful friends, we fall short and we let our brothers in need down. We show our ‘friends’ they can’t depend on us, and if we are not allowing our brothers and sisters to lean on us, we aren’t following the word of God. We do not exude patience in our lives, because if we only show our impatience no one wants to be around someone who lets their impatience shine through rather then love, and calm.

What if God was as faithful to you, as you are to him? The truth is, in the Storm, when we are in struggle, how do people view us? I have found that people have little patience for someone in struggle. I have found myself struggling to maintain my own patience in the storms. I have found myself falling short in the words of Galatians. However, I know that where I have not fallen short is my love for others. I maintain my hope for tomorrow, and I have maintained my support of my friends. I have given grace, and love to those who would do me harm. I have shown my self-control when all I wanted to do was scream and yell, and let loose. It’s not easy doing the right thing sometimes, but in that moment I do let my voice raise, I instantly feel badly about it. I have found that I cannot rest until I make a heartfelt apology. We will be judged by how we act in the storm more so then when it’s clear skies. We must show our witness as genuine, we must be kind and caring not just when the world is bright, but in all times.

In the world of darkness are we the lighthouse shining as exemplas to our friends who are in the storm? Are we willing to jump into the waters to help save our friends in need? I think of the rescue swimmers in the Coast Guard, willing to leave the safety of the helicopter and plunge into the icy waters. They jump from safety to risk it all for those in need. They put everything on the line to be the hope for someone afraid, someone alone in the waters in the middle of the worst storm they’ve ever seen. The rescue swimmers are there to be the hope, be the light because they can swim longer, be stronger, be the hope and light in the darkest of nights. When we need hope are we left alone in the waters by ourselves, or do we have loved ones jump in to be with us to help us through?

When the raging waters are crushing the people we care about, are we there to help them, or do we stay dry. I have heard people tell me they don’t want to be apart of the negativity, they don’t want the drama in their life so they stay away. As a Christian we aren’t taught to play it safe. We aren’t taught to stay on the sideline, to keep our feet dry. Matthew 14:28-33 “And Peter answered him, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” 29 He said, “Come.” So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind,[d] he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.” 31 Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”32 And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. 33 And those in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.” We know the storm will happen. Are faithful that we will remain afloat in the eyes of danger, or do we doubt and fall into the abyss? Where do you fall today? Are you a faithful Christian with hope and love in your heart, or are you sinking under the waves? Are you a friend who would jump in the icy waters to save someone you claim to care for, or are you going to stay in the warmth of the helicopter? When the storm is raging and you need a friend, no matter if your earthly friends are there or if they have abandoned you, remember that God will never leave or forsake you. The Lord is your Sheppard, and he will be all you need. You will lay in the meadow; he renews your strength and will guide you. You will walk through the valley, and no matter what, the Lord will be there and you will be in Gods amazing grace always.

No matter where you are we know that we can always turn to God. If we are weak in our walk we can grow strength by opening our heart to the Holy Spirit. If we are walking in darkness and we reject the Holy Spirit, it’s never too late to change that. If we are forsaking our friends and turning our back on them when they need us, shame on us for it. If we are the ones being forsaken, pray earnestly for them. WE as Christians need to pray for our loved ones, we must pray for our enemies, and in all things have faith and pray for the storms all around the world to dissipate. Pray for peace, and joy. Pray for those who struggle with loss, with sickness, with pain in their hearts. For just one moment try to look through the eyes of our Heavenly Father. Try to look upon those around you with the love and compassion of the Lord. Try to see beyond our own piece of the pie and give grace and love to others. Not everyone has the strength to be a rescue swimmer, but we can all be the lighthouse on the shore. We may not be able to jump into the fray, but we can still be a beacon of hope. We can still shine with the light of the Lord in our hearts, and at least show there is still hope to those lost at sea. When we are lost, when we are in pain, don’t we want that? Don’t we want someone to remind us we aren’t alone, and that one day the storm will subside?

My God,

You are the ultimate lighthouse in the storm. You are the hand to lift us out of the dark, icy waters, and you give us warmth. You hold us and protect us from the evil all around us. You showed us a better way, a way of peace and love, rather then hate and despair. I believe in you my risen King, Jesus who died for me. I believe the power of the blood saved me, and all. I know I shall one day pass beyond this world, and see the gates of paradise and although that day may not be today, I know that the rain will pass, and the sun will shine. I hurt, and in my pain, I know that you are sitting on this couch right next to me. My God I know so many in pain, so many who are hurting and need you. I pray they open their hearts to you, and that they will find peace in the unrelenting screams of the ocean. When I was in the waters all alone you came to me and you showed me this life isn’t the end. You showed me a better path out of the darkness, and for that, I cry, I weep for those who have not seen you. I cry for those who have not felt the warmth of your grace, your forgiveness, your love. The peace comes and calms the waves, and the sun shines again. My God thank you for your unyielding love and grace. I will never be worthy of such things, but nevertheless I have it. I pray for those whom I’ve lost, and those who’ve gone their own way. I pray for those whom I love deeply, may you guide and protect them in the dark woods in which they roam. You my God, you are my guide, and I shall follow you till the day I breathe my last. The living water that flows over me, and pushes away the clouds, I feel you today. Though it may be raining outside, and the storm might be raging inside, the light still shines, and one day, one day soon, the storm shall pass, as according to your will. In all things to your grace my Lord.

Amen