Overcome

Overcome

Yesterday I did something I never thought I’d be able to do, I went and successfully surfed at North Beach in Hawaii. I was instructed, and taught, but the more important thing was I didn’t let my physical challenge to get in the way. Now, within reason of course, this can be a good and bad thing, but the risks, and the soreness from after the fact aside, I was able to surf after having major back surgery. Now the day after, sure I’m sore, but my heart feels good. The things I saw while on the water blew my mind. I have heard of people being able to overcome amazing injuries, but what I saw, renewed my hope and my spirit that anything is possible.

One of the guys I’ve had the pleasure spending time with is an Iraq war amputee. He suffered a major injury from an IED blast and after struggling with that injury ended up having his leg cut off from slightly below the knee. He is one of the guys I was able to go surfing with, but it’s not just that, he bikes, he skateboards, and yea, he surfs too. How amazing is it, that a guy with only one leg, a piece of modern technology, and a will, a drive to accept his situation, and allow himself to overcome the challenges of this world to live out a dream! Watching him get up on the surfboard and ride some pretty good size waves and doing it with grace and finesse was truly an amazing sight to see.

When we have major things happen in our life, it’s so easy to say we’ll never be able to again, or it’s to hard, or it’s to difficult, or even, it’s impossible. Yesterday I saw what it means to throw the word impossible and destroy it. Every single one of the Veterans, every one of us was able to get up and ride the waves. All of us has our own distinct physical limitations. All of us have suffered major injuries, and while back surgery and amputation are the worst of them, we all hurt on a daily basis. Now I’m not saying be reckless, but know your limitation. It’s okay to push the boundaries a little. It’s okay to follow your dreams, and when it comes to the body, it’s okay to know in your heart you can push it, and not hurt yourself. None of us pushed too hard, just enough to feel that sense of accomplishment and satisfaction.

In life we will always be hit with problems that seem so large we have no idea how to solve them. We see life and we feel it’s too big, and much like Luke Skywalker and the X-Wing in the swam at Deghoba, it’s just to big to lift. But Yoda a third of Luke’s size lifts it out of the water and moves it to a safe place. Why can’t we attack life’s problem in the same way? The lies the devil throw’s at us is one to keep up subdued. It’s meant to stop us from being able to thrive in this world. There are always options open to you, and sometimes it’s not pretty, but we always have a way through the darkness. When bad things happen we must find a way to change our circumstances and use that for good. It’s so often I hear the word can’t from everyone in this walk of life, and even myself have used the word can’t. Let me explain, first off, I have used the word can’t often after my back surgery. I have said I can’t go rock climbing anymore, and I can’t do push ups or sit ups anymore, but the truth is, even though I shouldn’t, that’s not to say I can’t. I have major back degeneration and I need to know the limits as to not hurt myself. That in no means, means I can’t do it. Should I surf every day when I know I have a bad neck? Nope, of course I shouldn’t do it every day, but taking opportunities, and living life is part of the wonders God created in this world. 4 months ago when I had surgery, I never would have imagined I would be on a beach, in Hawaii, and surfing, along with learning how to sail, learning how to canoe with a big group, bike riding around parts of the island, it’s truly an amazing feeling to know I have safely been able to push the bounds and continue on.

While there are physical issues that come from pushing those boundaries, that’s all part of the game. Cause and effect, which is why you need to know your limitations, but always push yourself. Don’t do it and over do it, but don’t stop living life either. God wants for us to enjoy the beauty and wonder of this world, and if you never dare to dream big, then you will be the one to hold yourself back. Doing the impossible is only impossible because of how we hold ourselves back. Don’t allow yourself to fall into depression from an injury, learn to see it for what it is, and learn how to use it. I most certainly won’t be doing things to hurt myself, but it’s in those times where I can go and find a new way. I can’t run anymore, but I can swim. I can’t lift weights anymore, but I can do yoga. I can’t to push ups anymore, but with the right bike I can ride. All of these things I can do of course I have to be careful of doing in moderation. It’s all about how much we do it, and to know when to stop so we don’t overdo it.

In the Army we are taught to read a situation, adapt and overcome. We never know why some things happen, but even in the worst of tragedies there is hope and beauty. We can’t loose sight of it and don’t allow whatever obstacles you face to be the end all for you. Never quit pushing, and never quit trying. There is always a path for you and though it may not be easy to find, God’s got something planned for you. This week I have seen the beauty of perseverance and great kindness from total strangers. Watching them overcome what they have been through and thrive. Many of us have very little money, struggles with work, struggles with relationships, but they are happy, and thriving. Don’t allow yourself to struggle forever. Find your way, and follow what God wants for you. As it’s said, I have plans for peace. God will allow us to go through trials, but ultimately, if it destroys you, it’s on you. Pick yourself back up, brush yourself off, wipe the tears from your face, and drive on.

To the brink and back a survivors story

To the brink and back a survivors story

A while back a guy I knew was going through a pretty rough time. He was depressed, and he was lonely with the whole world around him. His beautiful wife seemed to be going through a lot on her side of the fence also. See they’d been together for a while and there seemed to be some distance growing between them. He wanted to rush in and fix it, he wanted to be there and close the gap. She wanted space, and distance, and she started to grow attached to someone else. Eventually the affair would occur and he’d be left with trying to pick up the pieces of a broken home. When he realized there may be something deeper going on he decided to stay and fight. He devoted himself to doing things differently, hoping that she’d see the change and stay, but that’s not what happened. She left and with it taking the last bit of dignity he had. The day the gunshot rang out the world as he knew it changed. No hope, no belief that tomorrow would ever be better, he was overwhelmed and something snapped. His fight or flight response shut down and all he could see was his own pain. He wasn’t considering anyone else, or how his actions might affect them, and sadly, his actions would drastically hurt others. He chose the least vital place he could think of to cause pain but not death. He put a 9mm hallow through his shoulder. He knew it wouldn’t hit much because there’s not much there to hit. He was wrong though and the mistake nearly killed him. The bullet chipped his left clavicle when the gun jumped as he pulled the trigger. The bullet changed direction going down through his lung fracturing 3 ribs before going out his back. Ribs 2,3, and 7 each fractured and as the lung collapsed he lost consciousness. The pain he caused the loved ones around him was extensive. His blood loss should have killed him, but in the later weeks as he recovered he would tell the story how he apologized to God and God sent him back. Many people have been skeptical if what he heard and felt was just in his head, but it was strong enough to change who he is to this day.

While he still suffers from the injuries both physical and emotional the ones he’s most concerned with now are the people he hurt. His wife was traumatized by the incident. He told me once that he didn’t think she’d care one way or another. The problem is when we are consumed by our own pain it’s difficult, nay impossible to see or feel the pain from others. We can’t allow pain, and grief, and anger to fill us up to the point of absolute blindness to the people around us who love us and care for us. Even when there are arguments, or disagreements, that doesn’t mean the person hates you, it doesn’t mean they don’t care about you. No matter the pain we feel we can’t let that push us to do crazy dangerous things. Tomorrow will always come, and it’s better to win the war than the battle. There’s so much anger towards him by his friends for what he did. For a long time he didn’t understand that anger, he felt like he was the victim. The truth is they are both right. In each perspective pain was dealt. Traumas were experienced by those who were there and took care of him lying on the ground bleeding, and friends felt as if he was leaving them all behind to fend for themselves. Suicide is often looked at as a coward’s way out, and to some that perspective may be their truth. We must understand the nature of a vantage point, and learn to see beyond our own ideals, our own feelings, and try to understand the feelings of others. Not to say truth isn’t truth because it is. There are things we must know are true and there’s no debate in that truth. But when there’s a feeling behind a thought we must not allow ourselves to degrade someone because feelings are powerful. We don’t want to inadvertently pass judgment and do more harm because we don’t know why they feel a particular way, what got them to that point.

This is particularly important in a marriage. We may disagree on particular areas but the biggest question is, is the fight worth it? As the old saying goes, learn to pick your battles. If my friend could do one thing it would be take away the pain he caused. He often comes to me for prayers and for forgiveness. Forgiveness is a tricky thing when it comes to forgiving yourself. When we walk through life every day and are reminded of the pain we caused, it’s difficult to forgive ourselves when we know others haven’t forgiven us. The best things we can do is pray, and hope for forgiveness someday. We can never take back our actions, our words, but we can try to be mindful of what we say and do because those things can have lasting repercussions. Self-forgiveness starts with repentance. We can apologize but something big like that, it’s important to show those within your orbit that you truly are sorry for it, and know that you are trying everything you can do to make it better. My friend’s told me time and again how badly he wishes he could go and take back what happened that day. As he starts going down that rabbit hole I remind him often of the song by Casting Crowns, “What if you could go back and relive one day of your life all over again, and unmake the mistake that left you a million miles away from the you, you once knew, now yesterday’s shame keeps saying that you’ll never get back on track.” The truth in that is you’ll never get back to the you, you once knew. You’re never too far gone, but even as you turn around you’ll never be the same. It’s not about being the same, you don’t want to be the same. You want to be stronger, you want to be confident, and embrace your mistakes so you’ll never have to relive them again. God’s always with us no matter how far off track we get, and if you believe that after one step in the right direction the rest of the steps will get easier over time. When you’re walking on that path walking through the fire you burn your old self away. Hard Love by NeedToBreath “It’s not enough to just feel the flame You’ve gotta burn your old self away.” Embrace the fire and allow yourself to undergo the transformation to follow Christ. It’s a hard love but it’s worth it in the end. Give up and fall under God’s grace.

If my friend can come back from such a near death experience and be showered in God’s love, God’s grace and God’s blessings you can to. He turned his life around and everything he’s suffered through he takes none of the credit for his continued survival. Everything he has now he knows came from God, and he knows he wouldn’t be alive if it wasn’t for Gods grace. He’s got some great opportunities coming up and he’s excited to see how he can use his life, his gifts for Christ. I hope many of you can see the power of Gods grace and love. Let his life and success story be an inspiration to all of you. God Bless.