Tag: life

Life in the Fast Lane

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

Life in the Fast Lane

As Americans we devote almost every minute of our day focusing on trivial pursuits. We are busy so much in our day we often wish for more time, just to do more. The problem with more time is we never use the time we are given wisely. We squander it in our own pursuits, but not in ways that would be pleasing to God. We may not be a bad person, but are we really doing Gods work? Proverbs 21:5 “5 The thoughts of the diligent tend only to plenteousness; but of every one that is hasty only to want.” When we rush through life and we react from one day to the next it’s easy to get swept up and carried away with the world. Do we take the time to have silent reflection? Do we take the time to talk to God through prayers? Do we hastily make decisions without putting thought to them? Do we make those decisions based on feelings or are those decisions based on what would be pleasing to God?

The world tells us all of the feel good things that we should try, or experience. The world expects us to always be full throttle, from dawn till dusk work, push yourself to the limit, sleep and get up and do it again. If we are running around so much where are the moments of clarity, where are the moments of peace, where is the time for prayer? Ecclesiastes 3:1-14 “3 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: 2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; 3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; 4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; 5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; 6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; 7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; 8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace. 9 What profit hath he that worketh in that wherein he laboureth? 10 I have seen the travail, which God hath given to the sons of men to be exercised in it. 11 He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end. 12 I know that there is no good in them, but for a man to rejoice, and to do good in his life. 13 And also that every man should eat and drink, and enjoy the good of all his labour, it is the gift of God. 14 I know that, whatsoever God doeth, it shall be for ever: nothing can be put to it, nor any thing taken from it: and God doeth it, that men should fear before him.” I firmly believe that working hard is a Christian’s duty. I also believe however that working hard and enjoying the fruits of that labor is important. God wants us to enjoy our lives. We only get one of them. We need to make a difference with the time we have. There is a time for everything and we must be able to know the difference.

Americans it seems have a hard time taking the time to slow down. Do parents slow down and spend the quality time with their children? Do married couples take the time to truly love one another? Do we take the time to speak to our friends when they are in need? When we are so busy in our lives we forget the common decencies we have failed. Do we get so busy in our lives we can’t respond, take 10 seconds to send a text to let them know we are busy and that we will get back to them. We don’t return calls, we don’t send letters, we don’t do the smallest simplest things the let someone know we care.

Some people on the flip side of the coin do pay attention. Some people make the time to make sure their closest friends and loved ones are taken care of. Some people are so generous it’s unbelievable. Some people even as busy as there life is, they take the time to love and be generous, and live life, live a Godly life.

For me, from an early age I found it easy to take time for others. Sadly I failed in other areas. I’ve had more then enough life altering events. The day our life ends we forever loose the ability to make things right. What happens if the day it ends is also the same day it begins? If you were given a second chance to change the way you live your life, would you? How quickly do we forget what’s important in this one life we get? If we woke up one morning and found out someone we neglected wasn’t there anymore would you feel you did everything you could for that person, be there, talk to, signs of caring? Sadly in life we often miss out on the small opportunities we have to make a difference. It’s not just the big things that matter; it’s the same things also. Everyday we have the chance to reinvent ourselves, to be a better person then we were the day before, if only we realized and respected how short of a time we have, or how short of a time our loved ones have. Do not take the gifts we are given for granted. Do not underestimate the time we have. Be a joy in someone’s life. Love your life and love your friends and family. Don’t take them for granted.

Take your life out of the fast lane and slow down. See the beauty in the world around you. See the trees, the grass, the flowers, the animals, and the wonderful creation God has made for us. It only takes a few moments a day to make a difference. How will you make a difference today?

Slow down and listen.

Survivors Guilt

thearrowpreacher2 Comments

Survivors Guilt

It’s been 12 years since the day it happened. 12 years ago the way I perceived time and life, the way I viewed my enemies, and the day I questioned my own self worth all changed. I don’t recall the time of day, or even the day of the week, but in Iraq none of that really matters unless you have a mission briefing, or a start time for the mission. The mission itself was simple, Early morning sunrise our mission started. Due to my injury I was a dismount during the mission. I was moved from my normal truck to dismount for someone else. We where looking for ways insurgents might be smuggling weapons into Ramadi. Our mission was to travel along the railroad tracks, and mark on GPS possible points small cars could fit through, and bypass our checkpoints. My knee killing me, and still slightly swollen I sat in back of the Humvee looking out the window. We where coming up to the railroad tracks, and the dirt cross over when a sinking gut feeling came over me. I’d never had a feeling like this before, but I felt I had to say something. I told my driver to look out for wires. He responded “Are you afraid of IED’S?” My feeling in my gut wouldn’t go away. The mission continued as normal. We went from point to point logging them, and noting them on the GPS. On our way back we stopped at a house to talk to the owner. Waiting outside and keeping watch I could hear the discussion going on at the front door. He had a single AK, but several magazines. According to law he could have 1 rifle, and 2 magazines. He argued they where for alibaba, or thiefs. Regardless, the man was forced to give up the rest of his mags. It was about that time I was looking over toward the railroad tracks. I didn’t know what I was looking at, at the time. I saw the plume of smoke first, and then the sound wave hit me. The biggest boom I’d ever heard, and the biggest bloom of smoke I’d ever seen. In the midst of the black smoke I could see a tan object 200 feet in the air. I refused to believe I saw what I thought I saw. Then our squad leader yelled IED. That’s when I realized what was had happened.

 

                                    NOTE THE FOLLOWING IS VERY GRAFIC

 We all raced back to the truck, and before the doors where shut we where hauling our butts back up to the tracks. We rounded the corner at what seemed like 60 mph. It came over the radio that Saber 4 was the truck hit. Coming up the hill we could see the truck. It looked to be in two pieces. (Out of respect of the families I’ll be keeping their names private.) I jumped out and went to the back of the truck to grab the Aid bag. Running as fast as I could with my knee still swollen, I came to the first person I could see. I recognized the mangled body instantly. A close friend of mine lay there lifeless, pale, and unresponsive. His wounds where extensive, he had massive lacerations on both legs, cuts on his neck and arms. He had a very low pulse, but before starting compressions I wanted to tie off his legs. If he where to survive I knew he’d loose his legs. I tied the tunicate as tight as I could, but it didn’t seem to matter how tight I pulled. The rope just wasn’t getting the job done. I did the best I could with it, and moved on to compressions. I check again for a pulse but this time I felt nothing. I started compressions. I pushed hard over and over. I counted each thrust, and then felt for a pulse again. I felt a low pulse, and waited for a medic. A medic I thought, our medic was in this truck! Where was he? Again feeling for a pulse and there wasn’t one. I needed to keep his heart going. I started compressions again, this time I wouldn’t stop. I pushed and pushed. I don’t know how long I pushed but eventually one of the other medics came up to me, and knelt down next to me. He reached for a pulse and said there wasn’t one. Based on how soft his chest was, and the lack of blood, Doc called him gone KIA, killed in action. I screamed at him that he wasn’t gone, but doc told me I had to let him go. I screamed no at him again, that I felt a pulse. He said something to me again, but I wasn’t listening, I was doing compressions again. Doc grabbed me from behind and pulled me off and held me in his arms. “He’s gone (My Name) .” He said softly in my ear. He held me while I struggled to get free. “(My Name) he’s gone.” He said again. I relaxed my muscles and he let me know. I leaned back to my friend. I closed his eyes, and covered his face with his fractured vest. I stood up in a fog. I looked around for our medic. Where was he? I was still unsure at what all was happening. I asked my squad leader. He was still missing. Looking around I saw a tan object about 40 meters away in the water. I asked if that was him, and was told it was too far. Leaving my rifle behind by my fallen friend I walked the road looking for my missing medic friend. He had to be in the water. He was driving. He was on that side, but wasn’t on the hill. I slid down the side of the hill, and left my vest aside. I slipped into the freezing cold water. Another buddy got in on the other side of the pond and swam to the same tan colored object I saw. I looked at his face when he got there. It told me everything I needed to know. He was gone, but I just didn’t know how bad, or the images that would haunt my dreams. He swam to me to get our friend out of the water. Lifting him out I saw how bad the injuries where. The explosion severed everything from belly button down. By this time several of the guys met us at the top of the hill to help lift our fallen medic out of the water. The side of the hill was mud, and while lifting my footing slipped, and I fell forward. I landed face first on doc’s stomach. Barely holding it together I pushed myself up and after they got Doc up and on the stretcher, a few of the guys went back to the water to look for more remains. I was helped out of water and up the hill. I grabbed my vest, my rifle, and still in a haze made my way back to my truck. I put my vest back on, and stood there looking around with a fog over my head. The captain who looked at my knee just days before was in critical, the only survivor. Our platoon Sergeant was also killed. We mounted up to escort our friend back to camp to get him off on a helicopter to Baghdad. In the 5 minute drive back radio traffic told us Doc didn’t make it. The first physician assistant to be killed during the war in Iraq. By the time we got back the Charlie med we were greeted with two of our great female medic friends. Getting down from the humvee they asked who. I didn’t realize how I said it till it came out of my mouth, but it was cold, and blunt. I couldn’t feel anything, I was still processing. All the medics much like the scouts where close friends. The girls cried, and us guys where angry. My truck commander crabbed me and swore we’d find um and kill um. I nodded in agreement. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what to think.

Since then I have found myself replaying that day over in my head from time to time. The days where my anxiety is higher, or something happens to remind myself of worse times. I was then and occasionally now suffer from what’s known as survivor’s guilt. Along with the events of that dreadful day, I have an abundance of other trauma’s and my own run ins with Hell on Earth. I felt guilty for years that my gut was telling me something was wrong that day. Even though I did say something, it didn’t matter though the outcome was the same. 12 years later I still feel guilty and ashamed. I know in my heart there was nothing more I could have done to save anyone, or prevent the tragedy from happening, but my head lies to me. Now I have gone through my own physical traumas and I am faced with a new problem every day. I do hope and pray that one day I might find myself more at peace, not just from my time in Iraq, but times from before, and after.

It’s not easy loosing loved ones to cheating, or other means. The first thing is to evaluate reasonably the level of guilt that is owed to you. No one is innocent when a relationship ends, but to what level is the culpability of guilt. When we look at the Gospel we see a man Crucified that was innocent of any wrongdoing. He died to free us from eternal damnation. His death left us with hope. It is in that hope that I find comfort. No matter how hard my day, no matter how badly I feel I remember that I am a faithful child of the King. I will one day take up my place in the Kingdom and live in peace and harmony. I will not only see my loved ones who’ve died before me, but all my friends from Iraq, not just the 4 from that day, but everyone we lost. I will also see my friends who’ve died over the years. With as many people as I’ve lost close to me you’d think I was in my 60’s or 70’s. Sadly that’s not the case.

There are several lies the Devil tells to us and it’s our job to fight them.

Lie #1 You were supposed to die.

This couldn’t be further from the truth. If it were your time God would have taken you. If you’ve survived it was for a purpose, a greater meaning. We never know what our worth is, and what our part to play is. We may not always be directly responsible for something great, but that doesn’t mean we didn’t have a role to play.

LIE #2: YOU OWE A DEBT TO THE DEAD.

You don’t owe the dead anything. You owe it to yourself and those around you to honor the deads memory. You must continue to live so the memory of your friends or those you couldn’t save can live on in our hearts.

LIE #3: YOU COULD HAVE PREVENTED THE DEAD FROM DYING.

Unless you’re God, which you aren’t, you cannot control if someone lives or dies. Firefighters can’t save everyone. Police can’t save everyone. Paramedics can’t save everyone, and it’s not practical to think we have the power to alter the plan. We may not always know why God takes a little child, or the honor roll student and not the drug dealer, but again the big picture we can’t see. We must have faith in God.

LIE #4: YOU ARE LESS WORTHY THAN THE PEOPLE WHO DIED.

This is just utter nonsense. Feeling down about your own self worth, thinking they were a better man, or woman then you, thinking the world would have been a better place without you and have them instead is just nonsense. Even if we could see into the future, we are all special. We’ve all overcome great odds just to be born. The Lord doesn’t make mistakes. When the world is hard, and we feel low and discouraged, that’s when it’s most important to turn to the Lord and ask for help. Seek Godly counsel from close friends who live for the Lord.

LIE #5: YOU ARE DEFINED BY YOUR PAST.

This is the one I struggle with most. In my past I am worried that telling people of my past they judge me on it. That somehow everything I’ve gone through will one day come back to haunt me. My past is what has molded me to be the man I am. I wouldn’t be here Blogging, or helping others, getting involved with ministry, had it not been for the horrible things that happened. Why was I bullied as a child, why did I move around so much, why did I loose so many friends, why have I lost two loves in my life? The answer is never simple, but it was part of the plan. We must not be our own worst critics in defining our future by our past. Make every day a new day and believe in yourself. It’s hard for others to believe in us if we don’t show ourselves the same amount of respect. Don’t let your past define you future. Put your past behind you, and focus on the good you can pull from it. Focus on the stories the testimony you can offer to those struggling through similar times.

After loosing two loves from my life I often feel similar symptoms to a death in the family. Someday my princess will come into my life. Someday I will find a place to build my castle to call Camelot. Someday I’ll find my peace in this world. Someday the battle will be over and God wiling I will be able to make and have my own family. Patience if seems is my biggest fight. I have faith.

Don’t let go, don’t give up because you may have lived to leave behind a great legacy. Don’t stunt your own growth by living in the past. When you live in the past you miss your present, and destroy your future. We only get one shot at this life, and because of it, we need to have fun. Enjoy life, and God will provide for us the fruits of our labor, and replace the suffering with adulation and love.

 

Life’s Not a Race Its a Marathon

thearrowpreacher3 Comments

Life’s Not a Race Its a Marathon

Waiting in line at the grocery store seems to take forever doesn’t it? What about when you’re waiting for your burger at a fast food restaurant? We all think ‘can’t they move any faster?’ Cell download speeds or waiting for the GPS to load. Internet service going from one website to the next. We’re a nation of impatient. How quickly we forget the days of dial up, or having to go to the store for what you want. Now we order things online and even a week seems like it takes too long. We want things next day. No one remembers what it was like to write letters and waiting two weeks for a reply. Today we can type a message in 6 seconds, and have a reply in 12 or less.

Having to go through physical therapy a few times for a few reasons I have often wished for instant results with minimum amounts of work and effort. We treat God much like everything else we want in life. A cosmic genie with phenomenal cosmic powers, itty bitty loving space as we try to put God in our tiny little box. The difference in our minds between God and that genie is our God gives us more then 3 wishes, right??

We want God to fix our problems quicker, we want God to get us that shiny bauble, the love of our life, all kinds of things and we want it in our time, right now, not later… please. The thing is it doesn’t work like that. 1 Corinthians 9:24 “Know ye not that they which run in a race run all, but one receiveth the prize? So run, that ye may obtain.” What the author is saying is many run but only one gets the prize. We have to work for what we want. There’s reward in hard works. We can’t just have everything given to us.

2 Timothy 4:7-9 “7 I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith: 8 Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing. 9 Do thy diligence to come shortly unto me:” Paul knowing he was at the end of his life before his execution, writes to Timothy and explains he is confident in his path. As his journey is nearing its completion, he knows that it takes patience, perseverance, and faith to run the marathon of life.

We need to learn patience, and if we claim to have patience, our patience needs more patience. I know I often have a hard time letting go of what I want fixed right away. I have a hard time understanding the months of my solitude, my trials, and my path. Knowing it takes patience and living your life to match what we know we should have is not easy. Perhaps time is one of the greatest enemies we face. Perhaps the race we face is time itself.

 

The Passage of Time

thearrowpreacher14 Comments

The Passage of Time

We are all here for a time. We never know how long we have, or even how to spend the time we have. We are often plagued with missed chances, regrets can plague us, regrets of the things we do, and the things we don’t do. What drives us to go to bed and wake up every morning? We wake up in the morning because of Romans 5:6 “For while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.” We aren’t helpless anymore. We are free from our chains, of our bondage, and we are still just as free to make our decisions as we ever were. Of course however for every action there is a reaction, a consequence. Our actions in this world have consequences and we will one day be led to answer for them. Galatians 6:9 “9 And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.” If we spend our time treating others badly it’s only a matter of time before that catches up with us. If we pursue Godly avenues and Godly pursuits, we will be blessed by it.

Ecclesiastes 9:12 “Moreover, man does not know his time: like fish caught in a treacherous net and birds trapped in a snare, so the sons of men are ensnared at an evil time when it suddenly falls on them.” The only thing we know is death is certain. We will never know the when, or how, but one day our hearts will stop, our eyes will close. When that day comes and we are face to face with the creator and we are put on trial for our sins, how will we say we used our time?

No matter the distance we’ve traveled, what’s important is how we’ve handled the travel. Have faith that no matter what happens good or bad in our lives, 1 Peter 5:6 “6 Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time:” We should not find ourselves impatient. Things may not go as fast as we’d like them to go, but we do live in a fast food society. We want everything right now, and we want it our way. We are spoiled. We need to find patience for our patience. It may not be in our time, but it’ll be the right time.

Heartbreak

thearrowpreacher2 Comments

Heartbreak

The word isn’t one to get tossed around lightly. I believe there are different kinds of pain associated with loss, and even that loss has different levels. When we loose a loved one, family, we feel the sinking hole left in their absence. What happens when the loved one is a spouse? This type of loss can be the most painful. There’s a difference in pain from where they die, and lost by personal choice. That is a different kind of pain entirely.

When you find yourself in deep love with someone, and you believe in your heart that love is by definition 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 “4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, 5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; 6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; 7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. 8 Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.” The only source of truth that’s suitable is this. Love is a tricky thing. We all say we feel love, but I dare say most do not ever live up to 1 Corinth. I would say the biggest issue is that of loyalty. When the loyalty fails, the so called love one used to feel disappears, and all that’s left is the bitterness of years passed, a pesky reminder that’s more like limb or appendage being removed by force.

After 7 years and overcoming as many obstacles as any family could, it would seem that the journey to creating a family would finally be on its way when fate it seems would hold a different direction indeed. We never truly know what would happen in given situations, but rest assured, when the time comes to be tested, sometimes a bad situation a dire event can cause a chain of events that are capable of taking everything you’ve ever built to the bedrock. It’s in those moments when your character is most tested.

After one set back after another, one crushing blow following another, the heart can only break so much before rebuilding must occur. Many people deal with heartbreak in different ways. Some will recluse themselves from the world. They hide in their comfort zone for how ever long and they don’t let anyone in to help them. They want to be alone in their pain, and for some this is okay. Others bury their pain and seek comfort in others. Some seek sexual comfort in many partners, and they do this long enough till one day they find themselves out of control, or worse pregnant or an unexpected father. Some people choose substances to hide or manage their pain. Substances like prescription pills, alcohol, or elicit drugs to name a few. Other forms of addiction may form, this includes gambling, throwing themselves into sports or video games, some instances sex becomes the addiction. Regardless, these addictions, these methods of coping do nothing but hurt in the long run.

Some resort to self inflicted harm. Most women use small razors to cut themselves, the legs, arms, some place that can be easily hidden from the world. Self-harm or mutilation is an extreme coping mechanism. This also is the unhealthiest one. Men however use more violent measures, guns, different kinds of pain.

No matter the form of coping you find yourself in, no matter how far along you’ve gone down a road of self destructive behavior it’s never too late to change your life. The road to recovery especially when we are hurt intentionally over and over again can be incredibly difficult and time consuming.

There are many passages of scripture that can be found to help those in need, those who suffer from a broken heart.

Psalms 147:3 “He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.”

 Psalms 73:26 “My flesh and my heart faileth: [but] God [is] the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever.”

1 Corinthians 13:7 “Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.”

Psalms 55:22 “Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.”

 Whichever course your life has gone down, whatever coping mechanism you have, however deeply you’ve been wounded know there is always help out there for you. The future though cloudy and uncertain for us all may not be what you had envisioned, but you can build any future you wish. It’s said God does not close a door unless it’s for a good reason, and with that reason a window shall be open for you instead. It’s not for us to know why sometimes, bad things happen, but instead embrace them. Today’s pain may lead to great and wonderful things tomorrow. God isn’t Santa but with prayer and showing we can handle the blessings, the many gifts God has to offer us, we may find joy once more.

The pain felt in a single message can be horribly tender to our heart. The heart can ache with an intensity we may feel is never going to go away but in reality it always heals, even if the scar is an unsightly one. The sorrow from knowing she’s at the very least on the surface happy is a tough pill to swallow. How can we expect to live a happy life when the little things remind us so much of what we’ve lost, what we had? Distance yourself from external pain sources, but remember we can rebuild, and we can build new memories. Love is a cherished emotion, but it’s not something to come around lightly. God doesn’t want us to be alone, but understand the time and place far better then we do. Love if we are not ready for it will just turn out disastrous. Love when we are susceptible for great things, will be a beautiful gift.

No matter where you are in the process, just remember we must grow we must be ready for love and believe when it’s our time we will not fail. Love is a gift, and we should not be too impatient, even if that’s all we want to do. The future may not be in focus, but the turn around the bend may be greater then you know. Have faith.

 

 

Pushing Buttons

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

Pushing Buttons

Do you ever push someone’s buttons just to see where it goes? Do you ever try to get under their skin because you can? Do you ever get them aroused because you can? What about someone you aren’t close to anymore. Do you try to hurt someone out of spite? When you love someone how does that love turn to contempt? What happens to someone to create so much anger or hatred or contempt?

Ephesians 4:22 “You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires;”

Ephesians 4:29 “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.”

Anger breeds from sin. Anger can also come from your own dislike or hatred for yourself. Being miserable in your own life can cause you to lash out at others. James 1:20 “Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.”

 Proverbs 16:7 “When a man’s ways are pleasing to the Lord, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.” No matter the buttons that are pressed or the anger that it may bring, conduct yourself with honor and a manner pleasing to God. Remember to love thy enemies, and take no vengeance for yourself. Romans 12:10 “Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.” Loving your enemies is possibly the hardest things you will ever do. Luke 6:27 “But I say to you people who are listening to me, love your enemies. Do good to those who hate you.” Matthew 5:44 “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”

 No matter the pain inflicted, as much as we can love one another, forgive like Jesus asked to have us forgiven. As we did not deserve the forgiveness of our Father we received it just the same. Never give up on love, and never give up on those who hurt us. A lifetime is a long occasion, and through God all things are possible. People can change through Christ. Have faith, and pray. All our life will be accounted for and we must answer to the Lord for everything we do, every word spoken. Be right with God for we never know when the day of judgement will arrive.

22 Veterans a Day

thearrowpreacher6 Comments

22 Veterans a Day

 On a daily basis there are 22 veterans on average in this country that commit suicide. The number of veterans who try per day is a number that’s not even known. Sadly the amount of people who die is vastly too many. Why is this an epidemic in our country? The life a veteran lives after the military is never an easy one. It’s full of pain, and loss, and a lack of self worth like few will ever know or understand. What kind of pain can someone feel that would be enough to override the simplest of functions, self-preservation? When the world beats us to the ground, when our value seems to go away the notion of self-preservation is the farthest thing on our minds.

Sometimes it’s a single trauma that can cause enough pain to force our hand. I’m not saying it’s ever right, but I do understand. When you feel you’ve lost everything you once held dear to your heart, everything in your life you rated as being who you were, that loss can be strong enough to wish it all away. As a soldier we are trained to do. We are trained to react and do so without feeling, without questioning the decision, so why not when it comes to our personal lives. The training isn’t like a switch you can turn on and off anytime you wish. What happens is sad, but true. When threatened the brain automatically kicks into fight or flight response. As a soldier our flight response doesn’t usually kick in it’s always fight and never stop fighting. When we feel as if the mission is done, and or lost, that flight kicks in. We are trained to avoid emotional attachments, so when something happens that’s extremely emotionally charged, we don’t know how to handle.

2 Timothy 2:4 “4 No soldier gets entangled in civilian pursuits, since his aim is to please the one who enlisted him.” This of course defines a big problem with today. Soldiers of today’s wars will go from war to home in a matter of a week. This is never enough time to decompress, to deal with the horrible things we face in war. When we get home and the real battle begins so few understand. We struggle to open up and let others know how we feel and what we think, sadly we often fail.

The true nature of the struggles is we just don’t know where to look. There are plenty of people who may not know exactly what we feel, but have struggles of their own. It’s not for us to push people aside. The mission isn’t over it’s just different. When we return, the mission is no longer to seek and destroy the enemy it’s to be there for our fellow brother and sister veterans. We must have faith that whatever battle we face, the battle will not be waged alone.

Psalms 46:1 “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.”

Help is all around us. There are people there who are willing to and want to help. If you’re a veteran and having financial troubles there are organizations to help. Facing PTSD there are places that help. It’s just a matter of using the resources that are there for you. Do not place your self worth on a temporary pain. When the mission doesn’t seem so simple anymore, when life seems bigger then we can take, we feel alone, realize we aren’t. What’s one soldier to do when life is so big? When the pain we face every day is a solitary one it’s more likely that we will loose the battle and sadly we can loose ourselves. The only truth that matters is we aren’t alone. The pain we face in basic training is only temporary. Sadly when one war is over and the next begins something about civilian life is harder to face. We feel as if the world no longer cares about us. We feel as if the problems will never go away, but the fact is they will and they do.

Joshua 1:9 “9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” God is always with us. As we may feel alone, we must not loose our faith. If we look hard enough God will always send someone to be there for us when we need it. God expects us to be proactive. God is not Santa Claus, things won’t be gift wrapped and left on the door for us. He will however give us exactly what we need, when we need it. Romans 8:38-39 “38 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” No matter the fight ahead, no matter the fight behind we have hope. There will always be hope as long as we remember where to look.

As for me, I know who my friends are. I know where my support is. In the last 8 months my close friends have come out of the woodwork to help me. My close friends have lifted me up, supported me, helped me, talked to me, hugged my neck, called me, written me, and have gone out of their way to help me change my future. I can never thank all my veteran friends, or tell them how much I appreciate or care about them. Faith in the future may not come easily for some, and some days that faith will be tested to the absolute max of it’s limits, but no matter what is going on, PLEASE reach out and let someone know if you need help.

You don’t have to be a victim anymore. Take control of your life and start to live again.

I’ve Got Your 6.

I’d like to dedicate this Blog to a few people very important to me. (Galyn, Tabby, Doc, Brian, David, Paul, David, Michaela, Thacker, Chelsey, Dustin, [just to name a few]) You know why your name is on here.

 

 

It’s Been A Long Road Getting From There To Here

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

It’s Been A Long Road Getting From There To Here

Most of you probably don’t know the song that title is from, ‘Where my heart will take me’. The song speaks of a journey, a long one but finally after a long time a breakthrough, and following your heart, and faith to achieve anything because of strength of that faith and soul.

Do we have faith like that? Do we have faith in God to grant us peace in the storm? Do we have faith that God will be our light in the darkness? Do we have faith that when we are down on our knees with no where left to turn God will lift us on the wings of Angels and give us reprieve from our assorted sufferings?

There’s so much in my heart that is full of pain, it’s full of doubt, its full of fear. Multiple times over I’ve faced death. I’ve seen death in the eyes, and I’ve overcome. I’ve seen RPG’s just barely pass by me. I’ve been caught in explosions, I’ve been shot, I’ve been just seconds from death. Every step every turn I’ve been protected by Gods hands. Because Christ lives in me I have managed to overcome. No matter the long road, the destination is beyond the stars. I pray my soul to find peace. I pray that because Jesus lives I will be saved of this pain and tomorrow the day of our salvation will hold true in my heart.

As I struggle with myself, it’s my own weakness. Faith in the Lord is a hard thing to keep. It isn’t the Lord part that’s tough; knowing that because of God I am safe. Because of God I am a free man. Because of God I am alive and the only thing that matters is His love. The world may beat me, the world may torture me, but it’s the life of Jesus Christ, a high price, but I am saved in that love.

The road I’ve traveled has been a rocky road full of pain and suffering. Days like today I struggle to maintain my positive outlook, but the truth is there’s no reason I shouldn’t be positive. Christ has Risen for me. Knowing that if Christ had to die for just me, he would have. A love like that should never go to waist.

As I have lost so much, as I have had to sacrifice so much, it’s never as much as our Lord sacrificed for us. When life does me wrong, keep moving forward. When trouble knocks at the door be sure to raise to the Lord your hands in prayer, and lift our weary soul to our Almighty God. Lift higher and higher to the Lord. We may never be worthy of Gods love, but we have it anyway. Put your own ambitions aside, God will provide.

No matter the road I’ve traveled, here I am, by Gods purpose, and Gods design. I’m here typing to show there is hope. Hope for tomorrow; hope for today because in all things darkness cannot survive the light. The darkness cannot snuff out the light, but the light will always overtake the darkness. Embrace the change of the light inside you. Let the Light of Christ fill your heart and let it change you. Be born again of the light. Even in the darkest of nights the stars will shine, and will guide your path. Look to the sky and see what’s written in the stars. The Lord gives us a sign and we must follow. The Lord will always say “Trust in Me.” So in the starlight, even the words can be seen when you know how to look.

Success Ratio

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

Success Ratio

 How do we rate our success in life? I used to think my success was in my career, my relationship, my GPA in college, but really I was only hurting myself in the long run. When those things are taken away what does that do to our psyche? For me when my world fell apart I fell apart. I put my faith in all the wrong places. Even as a good Christian boy I didn’t do what I was supposed to.

As I’ve gotten older my priorities have changed. Sadly, as I’ve gotten older the stakes have gotten higher. It’s hard to watch a life fall apart and have faith that tomorrow will be better. As many before me have struggled through life’s difficulties and challenges, I know that I too will not fail to make a new life for myself. I don’t pretend to know or understand the direction my life is going, but I do know no matter where it is my faith in God will be my guiding light.

No matter what hardship you’re having there are some scripture verses that help the wary heart.

Psalm 34:17 “When the righteous cry for help, the LORD hears and delivers them out of all their troubles.”

 Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”

2 Corinthians 1:10 “He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again.”

 No matter the troubles, no matter your peril, your shortcomings, the Lord will be with you every step of the way. If depression and anxiety are flooding your ship don’t go into battle alone. Reach out to others and find help. There is always aid; it just takes a little effort to find it. It isn’t a sign of weakness to ask for help, it’s a sign of strength. James 1:12 “Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.”

We measure our success by 1 Kings 2:3 “3 and observe what the LORD your God requires: Walk in obedience to him, and keep his decrees and commands, his laws and regulations, as written in the Law of Moses. Do this so that you may prosper in all you do and wherever you go” No matter how far we must travel, to Hell and back, remain steadfast in our faithful service to the Lord. Isaiah 41:10 “10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Never give up. Sometimes we may loose, but it’s how we carry ourselves. Sometimes we may give up everything for the ones we care about, and that, is a measure of success worth fighting for.

 

 

 

 

 

Change of Plans

thearrowpreacher4 Comments

Change of Plans

 People keep asking me what my plans for the future are. Now that everything in my life has fallen to pieces, the time has come to come up with a new plan. What do we do though when life doesn’t go according to our own ideas? The case can be made that since we are just pieces on the board we cannot see the whole board. The day may come when the strength of this man may fail, but I will not allow failure for as long as I draw breath, or at least that’s my plan.

God however has a different perspective. Proverbs 16:9 “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” We take our life one step at a time, one small journey or adventure at a time. I often feel as if I am wondering in the woods alone and lost. As time ticks away I have to remind myself that I am not in control, and I must ask for guidance, ask for help, seek wise counsel. The fear that comes knowing we are not to be in command of our own destiny, but the Lord above has all the power.

Lately that worry and concern seems to have consumed my everyday waking thought. I have been left with the difficult task to force myself to trust in God. The constant undertaking to believe in the plan that I myself cannot see, is hard to say the least. The end may come, but we will never be alone. Lost we may feel, but truly we are not.

Someone asked me once how God could allow so much bad to happen in this world. Why children who’ve not yet grown should die early in life. The impact of one life can change the course of a life beyond our understanding, beyond our wildest dreams. One stone may not change the course of the river, but that same stone on a narrow wooded path can change ones footing, and that could change a great deal in that regard.

My goals in life where to get married and have kids to carry on my family name and blood, but as I am now older each major step in that direction has failed, I sadly question the why. I have lost two great loves in my life, and now as the change affects me more and more every day, I wonder what is the next step for me. As this blog has been a major outlet for me, and an outreach to others, I pray that I can continue to reach others in Christ’s name. We are but pieces on the board, but what piece are we? Look at some of the greatest most influential people in history, I am sure growing up they had no idea how important they would be in history.

We cannot judge our own importance because we ourselves are too close to fully understand our worth. The plans we have for ourselves are always going to change, they are always going to adapt, and sometimes we just need to let go of the reins and let God handle the details. The amount of faith it takes to uproot and move across the country, across the world, is great. Sometimes it’s necessary to do so without a plan, without a long-term objective, but that’s what faith is sometimes. A blind leap and pray that God will catch you before you hit the bottom. Proverbs 19:21 “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.” The final word I give to you is that of Philippians 4:6-7 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”